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neon--nightmare · 19 hours ago
If you’d told me that Illumination Studios of Lorax fame is making a Mario movie in 2022, starring Chris Pratt as Mario and Jack Black as Bowser, I would’ve said you were LYING
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Bruce: Stephanie, will you step outside for a moment?
Stephanie: Okay.
Bruce: *locks the door*
Bruce: Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to get rid of it.
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thesoulspulse · 23 hours ago
Halloween in Amity Park ~ Fright Knight
Fright Knight: You there, Mortal! I command you to halt!
Trick or Treater: *yelps and stands there frozen in place, legs trembling since he’s scared to death that he just pissed off the real deal with his costume or something.*
Fright Knight: *narrows his eyes darkly*
Trick or Treater: *still trying not to wet himself*
Fright Knight: *after a long pause* You honor me with your excellent costume, you may carry on and I will spare your life this night in recognition of your talented craftsmanship. *rides off on Nightmare.*
Trick or Treater:...
Trick or Treater: *sinks to the ground, blinking*...what just happened?
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agentolsensposts · a day ago
cast crack #005
[benedict and hiddleston sitting on each side of y/n]
y/n: god, i want to be in a british bun sandwich
benedict: wait, you what?
hiddleston: you are so weird *chuckles*
y/n: *turned to face hiddleston* (in a singy-songy voice) make my wish come trueee
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technoplane · a day ago
hello 5am gang, how are you doing. i cant go back to sleep jdhdjh
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harmonyandco · 2 days ago
Harry: And when I find the snake faced man I will go up to him and say, “Hello! My name is Harry Potter. You killed my parents. Prepare to die!”
Hermione: Harry. Please stop misquoting The Princess Bride!
Harry: As you wish.
Dennis Creevy: Is this going to be a kissing book?
submitted by @reneead
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eilamona · 2 days ago
NT Moments - Blood of enemies
ENTP: Did you know you can literally have swords forged with the blood of enemies? You only need to extract iron from 400 adult men’s blood to make a long sword.
INTP: Oh wow. Never thought of it like that. So you only need like 20 to make a bullet or something.
ENTP: Maybe make the gun too. A bullet you can only use on one person.
INTP: So you get 20 of their family and friends’ iron to kill them. Poetic. And I’m gonna stop this conversation…
ENTP: Why stop? This is golden. Well, iron, but you get my point.
ps. the ENTP is @kylecrey who will soon be posting his original stories :)
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belladonna-dearest · 15 hours ago
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notedchampagne · a day ago
worst and best part of my day is when me and quinn say the exact same thing and its not even like a direct conclusion its like, a turn down detour road 
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volodiunacapinera · 2 days ago
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♠️…- ti vedo cosi
- 🙄🙄🙄 così come?
- non penso tu sia una donna “Domabile” basta guardare i tuoi occhi
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incorrectgmw · 2 days ago
Lucas: I say this with love... it's crazy you haven't been murdered.
Maya: I know.
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blushbi · 5 months ago
“i could fix him” well i think HE should fix ME #feminism
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collectivefandomstuff · 10 months ago
[Family Meeting]
Bruce: I'd like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.
Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?
Tim: A lot more.
Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.
Jason: I- wait what?
Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.
Jason: What exactly did you do?
Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn't the little bird?
Robin: [coldly] Question man.
Riddler: It's "the Riddler"
Robin: Who cares?
Riddler: [sputtering]
Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]
Penguin: Great. It's the boy annoyance.
Robin: [cordially] Birdman.
Penguin: I beg your pardon?!
Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.
Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-
Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.
Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety
Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime
Ivy: what
Harley: [cracks her knuckles]
Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]
Clayface: great. a mosquito.
Robin: ...[with distaste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.
Clayface: ...
Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.
Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!
Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it's the cavalary...'s pet.
Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.
Joker: Wh-
Robin: You are Harley's husband correct?
Joker: [furious] no!
Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name... ... [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.
Joker: [frothing at the mouth]
[back at the meeting]
Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.
Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.
Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.
Damian: no
Bruce: [grinds his teeth]
Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker's preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?
Jason: [munching down a power bar] It's Fuckface McKidkiller
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sonamysunivers · 6 months ago
Public Defender: A Marichat Drabble written by @sariahsue illustrated by me
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I have the permission of @sariahsue the amazing writer of the amazing Drabble to illustrate this fic.
In this fic Kim is a piece of... art XD
I love protective Mari
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godza · 5 months ago
i need to stim with this bitch
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notedchampagne · a day ago
@ canadians how the fuck do you call a taxi here
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