I've been watching Roswell Conspiracies (I'm only a few episodes in) and this show is WILD. The gist is that creatures from folklore are actually A) Real and B) Aliens fighting a secret war against werewolves (also aliens) and it's very 'early 00s 'tude' complete with fucky pacing and silly one-liners WHICH I LOVE but my enjoyment is disrupted by this one character
This is the SINGLE MOST frustrating 'government man' character I've ever seen in television. Like this motherfucker... THIS MOTHERFUCKER was scientifically designed to be as loathsome as possible. He is every unreasonable authority figure rolled into one dude but like add on like a bunch of war crimes and a willingness to murder anything at the drop of a hat. I do not understand how this guy is in charge of like... a branch of military. Which, like, if that's what they're going for it's really impressive that they've made me hate him this thoroughly, but holy shiiittt it's working too well.
I want to toss this man over a cliff. I want to string him up and beat him like a pinata. I want to hit him repeatedly with a car.
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I arranged my stuffed animals family photo style.
(In order from left to right we have Kirkland, Mexican Pizza, Baja Blast, Cheesy Gordita crunch, Crunch wrap Supreme, and Nacho Fries is on the floor)
(Calcifer, my stuffed Soot ball, isn't pictured)
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Writeblr Garden Pumkin Pitch Event!
Scottie in Toyland (<— WIP title, will be changed)
A bold and restless rag doll named Scottie and her best friend, a wooden doll named Louis, travel outside their home town to inform the Queen about something, or someone, infecting their water. Along the way they face perils, their worst fears, and make friends. All the while the one responsible for this infected water is trying to stop them, and he’s not above tearing some seams to get his way.
Inspirations: Winnie the Pooh, Wizard of OZ (the books), Raggedy Ann & Andy (Movie).
Trigger warnings: descriptions of rotting & decay, characters falling down a waterfall, descriptions of anxiety, death, injury (they’re toys so no blood, but stuffing is lost), infected water, angry mobs, rockslides, characters trapped in a cave, characters facing their own fears, mentions of dead bodies (again, they’re dolls/toys), descriptions of maggots & fungus growing off of a dead body, low-key bullying.
Excerpt:
Louis and Percy hadn't noticed the body when Scottie stopped walking, it wasn't until Louis followed his friend's gaze that he saw why she had froze.
“Holey Polyester fabric.” Louis covered his mouth in shock and disgust at the decomposing corpse of some poor toy who lost their way in this forest. Percy soon saw it as well and had to avert his eyes.
Thankfully the corpse’s face was to the dirt, sparring them of having to look into the soul vacant eyes of this unfortunate doll.
“Scottie, Scottie we have to keep going.” Louis said in a calm but firm voice as he tried to snap Scottie out of her horror and disgust filled trance,
“Cottie. Cotton.”
He raised his voice a bit, but she couldn't take her eyes from the cadaver. It was so rotted she wouldn't be able to recognize it if it wasn't daylight.
“Cotton. Farm girl- Scottie!”
It was his shouting that snapped her out of it, as soon as Louis saw she was out of whatever trance she was in he grabbed her arm and led her ahead, keeping her head turned forward so the rotting doll was out of her line of sight. Percy followed after.
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Steve likes to take dates to the carnivals and he always tries to win them stuffed toys because he’s cheesy and romantic and proud of it thank you very much
Only, he’s absolute ass at the carnival games. He’s only ever managed to win an ugly little cap, and Tiffany had not been amused when he’d presented it to her. It never stopped him from trying of course, but it’s a little discouraging
Fast forward to now, when he’s recruited by Claudia Henderson to drag the party out to the carnival. Robin refuses to join him because “I finally have a date Steve, I’m not going to spend it chaperoning your walking headaches”. So he recruited Eddie
Of course, the party doing want to be chaperoned and they’re really old enough to go to a carnival by themselves, so he agrees to let them go off by themselves as long as they stay out of trouble.
So he and Eddie go on a few rides and grab a bite to eat, and Eddie eats like three ice cream cones and feels too queasy for more rides. So Steve decides to practice carnival games so he can win something for the next babe he brings on a date.
With Eddie cheering him on as obnoxiously and flirtatiously as he can, Steve starts playing. And he starts winning. Not just the little prizes either. Along with normal sized stuffed bears and bats and what-have-yous, he also gets a comically large stuffed rainbow unicorn wearing sunglasses, a long dragon plushie that’s taller than he is, and other oversized paraphernalia
Since he isn’t here with a date, Steve just gives all his winnings to Eddie. Eddie jokes about how this was the most romantic date he’s ever been on (only it’s not really a joke, this not-date is more romantic than any of his trysts). Then Eddie starts complaining that Steve needs to stop winning because how is he supposed to carry all this? By the time they meet up with the kids, Eddie isn’t even visible behind the mass of prizes in his arms. He stumbles over, guided by Steve’s hand in his back, wrapped in the giant dragon, and the kids mock the both of them ruthlessly
Eddie keeps all the toys and names then after the party just to bug them. Steve delighted with that, and together they always tease the kids (“wooow, rainbow unicorn Dustin would never do this” is a favourite because it makes Dustin apoplectic)
When they start dating, Eddie keeps telling people that Steve “gave me 6 kids before finally putting a ring on it”
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