#cherry shit eating grin on his face: no and get this get THIS the old mans taking mandy out of the will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rookthorne · 2 years

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⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐦

Being the girlfriend of the President of a club had its perks — but when a rivalry between Bucky and an old friend flares at a meet, all you could do was hope that it wouldn't explode.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ✰ Biker!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ✰ 5.1k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ✰ Implied spice, fluff, possessive and protective Bucky, implied violence, mention of alcohol

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 ✰ I couldn't help but include some special cameos from some of my other favourite characters in a different franchise... I'm not going to warn who it is — IT'S A SURPRISE! ✰ If you recognise any scenes... lemme know. ✰ See the end note for the original moodboard.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔 ✰ Girl from the North Country by Lions ✰ Broken Bones by KALEO

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Silence.

Absolute and uninterrupted tension filled the room where the men clad in leather kuttes sat around the table. The walls were adorned by plaques of their creed, and the deep cherry wood created an ambience of pure power and arrogance.

Today was meant to be the day that they made the run to the next town over for a ‘charity ride’ — but a certain young man had thrown a wrench in the metaphorical gears of their plans. Sure, his year-long time of being a Prospect was coming to an end. They all knew that.

A few of the men shifted in their seats as they looked at their President at the head of the table. His very presence commanded the attention and respect afforded to a man of his position — as it fucking should.

“I’ll give the kid props for his… enthusiasm. He basically thrives off chaos.” Sam was the first to speak up, and the men around the table nodded — it was the truth. “I don’t see any con to letting him become a member.”

From his imposing seat at the head of the table Bucky stared at his Sergeant at Arms, considering his words as the others around the table voiced their agreements.

“And this has nothing to do with the fact Parker is your favourite, Sam?”

Bucky couldn’t help the smirk that twitched on his lips as Sam stared back at him, incredulity written plain across his face.

“Bucky?”

“Yes?” He couldn’t keep the snicker from his voice. Riling Sam up was oftentimes the highlight of his day.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Choruses of laughter broke out around the room as Bucky slapped Sam’s shoulder, a shit-eating grin on his face as he peered into the smiling faces of his family.

“Alright, then.” The room quieted as the club looked eagerly towards their President, awaiting the next words with fevered excitement. “All in favour of Peter Parker becoming a member of this club?”

The pounding of fists against the solid wood grain of the table accompanied by shouts of yeah! made Bucky grin. He held his hand up for silence that fell like a wave within a second.

“Any opposed?”

Silence.

“Steve,” Bucky started as he looked to the man beside him. The Vice President tilted his head in acknowledgement, mirroring the grin on Bucky’s face. “Go get ‘im.”

The double doors swung open as Steve strode out, his characteristic glare that chilled men to the bone settled onto his face. “Parker!” he boomed out into the bar.

A yelp of fear followed by the sound of your soothing voice reached Bucky, and he couldn’t help the snide smile that brewed. You would likely have his head for scaring the shit out of the poor kid - but he had to have his fun one way or another.

“Peter, it’s alright,” you said, loud enough for Bucky to hear. It was as much a reassurance to Peter as it was a warning to Bucky to take it easy on him. “I’ll wait here.”

You were almost too good to the Prospect. Almost.

“Get in here!” Steve barked as he watched you and Peter at the bar. You narrowed your eyes at him when he winked whilst Peter’s back was turned.

The men all snickered when they heard Parker’s glass thunk against the bar, his shaky hands and high voice betraying his nerves. “Coming!” he squeaked.

Steve turned and strutted back into church, taking his rightful seat next to Bucky. “Poor kid,” he joked, his smug tone proving that he took just as much pleasure taunting Peter as everyone else. “He almost shat a brick.”

Peter’s lanky frame appeared in the doorway, but he hesitated there, glancing nervously around the room. He was vibrating with fear as he met the eyes of every man seated at the table, not lingering for more than a second - and Bucky almost felt sorry for him.

But then he remembered the day he had caught Peter staring at your ass as you worked at the bar, his not-so-innocent gaze going unnoticed by you as you served a drink to Steve. It did not, however, escape Bucky’s notice; the stark white Peter had turned when he caught Bucky’s eye was comical.

Time for some payback.

“H-hey.” Peter breathlessly greeted, terrified of the implications of being called into the dimly lit club meeting room.

When Peter was met with silence he began to wring his hands, the ivory white of the taut skin giving away that he was close to breaking a bone with the vice grip. Bucky could see Peter’s pulse hammering in the side of his throat, faster than the stroke of pistons in his bike as it redlined.

“Get in here and close the door, Prospect.” Bucky was careful to keep his tone authoritative and unwavering, but the corners of his mouth twitched up and he had to hold back a laugh when he imagined how you’d react to his behaviour. He knew that if you were in the room, you’d be glaring at him, silently scolding him for being so unnecessarily intimidating toward Peter.

He lived for when you had the nerve to put him in his place - the President of the club and one of the most feared outlaws this side of the county, on his knees and begging for forgiveness as you stared down at him imperiously. Even with the wall separating you from him, he could almost see that cheeky glint in your eye - it was like a drug to him, and he wanted more.

Oh, he was in for it tonight.

Peter quickly closed the door, but instead of moving into the room he stood with his back firmly pressed against the rough leather, as if it would swallow him whole and whisk him away from the tension in the room. Bucky pointed to a spare chair in the corner of the room and Sam instantly rose to fetch it, placing it a little further down the table, before returning to his own place.

“Take a seat.” Bucky’s tone was clipped as he stared at Peter - the implication of the command from his President seemed to render him almost speechless.

Disobeying a command from Bucky would leave anyone sorely wishing they could take it back.

Peter gulped. “At the ta-table?”

“No, over here in my lap, sweetheart,” Steve sneered, making Peter turn impossibly paler. “Of course at the table, you idiot.”

A scuffle of boots, the screech of chair legs scraping across the wooden floor, and suddenly Peter was sitting at the table looking like a deer in headlights. Bucky adjusted in his seat, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table's edge next to his gavel.

“Take off the kutte,” Bucky ordered, his tone short - leaving no room for argument.

Peter glanced between Steve and then back to his President at the head of the table. The leather was an extension of his very back, and Bucky knew that taking it off would leave him feeling weak. Exposed.

Slowly, Peter shucked the vest from his shoulders. Plain black leather rested against the table as if to mock its owner of his fear, the Prospect rocker spanning in an arch along the bottom staring plainly back into Peter’s fear-stricken face. Bucky could almost hear his thoughts as he sat there motionless; he would never be a full member.

Bucky shifted slightly out of feigned impatience and his left hand knocked the gavel, making Peter jump. His stare was affixed between Bucky’s hand and his face, his face almost imploring.

Silently, Bucky watched as Steve rose to his feet while staring into Peter’s face, his gaze impassive - lest he give away the laugh that threatened to burst free. Years of perfecting stoicity during gun deals was paying off in this moment. There was a reason Steve had the title of Vice President, after all.

“Cut off that Prospect rocker and title.” Bucky reached for his belt and pulled his knife free, only to throw it in Peter’s direction. It stuck into the grain of the wood table unnervingly close to Peter’s fingers, the handle slightly swaying from the force. Peter jumped and stared back at Bucky, his eyes wide with fear and a flash of childish incredulity. “Go on.”

Peter reached a shaking hand towards the hilt of the blade and wrenched it free from the table. He had tears in his eyes as a years worth of duties flashed before his mind, but he refused to shed them as he sliced the knife through the thread between leather and cotton.

There was the time that Thor had become so fucking drunk that in his haste to run to the bathroom, he had fallen through a table, and Peter was ordered to clean up the mess as the others howled with laughter. There was the time when he worked in the garage with Bucky, shadowing his President with eagerness matching that of a kid on Christmas when, with Bucky’s guidance, he had successfully fitted an engine to a frame.

Peter’s shoulders sagged, his chin trembling as he cut up to the halfway point. He startled when Steve slapped a hand onto his shoulder, but his gaze remained on the glaring Prospect patch before him.

“Son,” Steve started quietly when a slight sniffle came from Peter, but he quickly covered it with a cough. Steve squeezed his shoulder tight and placed the patches of a fully ranked member on Peter’s kutte on the table before continuing. “Replace it with these.”

The club’s full colours lay before Peter. A red star and club name 107th, the gleaming symbol of the united brotherhood that came with the rank of a full member.

Peter’s eyes snapped up to Bucky’s immediately. He tried to speak but couldn’t seem to form the words, eventually letting his jaw hang slack. Bucky flashed a grin and a wink to the newest member, pride warming his chest like the strongest whiskey.

The smack of the gavel hitting the sound block echoed through Peter’s stunned silence.

“Welcome, Peter.”

Whoops and cheers echoed off the walls as the rest of the members jostled Peter between them. Peter had never felt so much more at home than in this moment, and Bucky could not help but grin as he watched him be welcomed with open arms. The sound of hands clapping against leather and the broad backs of the men made his eyes mist over, and he was quick to wipe the forming tears away.

This club was his family. His life. His everything.

The slam of the doors startled you as Steve kicked them open, leading the charge back into the bar. Natasha looked up from her conversation with you, a sly smile on her face as she gestured to a line of shots waiting along the wooden platform. Your eyes immediately searched for Bucky only to find him walking from church with his arm thrown over Peter’s shoulder. Peter’s missing vest lit a spark of panic in you until you glanced down to look at his hands, one clutching his leather kutte. “What happ-” you started, but then you noticed his other hand, the patches of a full member tightly grasped in his shaking hold.

“You did it, Peter!” you cried as you jumped down from your stool, running to tackle him in a hug. “I told you it was going to be alright!” With your head nestled against Peter’s shoulder, you glanced up at Bucky with your eyes narrowed, but his only response to your accusing glare was a heart-stopping grin.

Whilst you had only been a part of this life for a year, you knew exactly how Bucky handled his brothers - more often than not with an unforgiving sense of mischief in the pranks he played. Especially on poor Peter.

Peter pulled away from your embrace with a muttered thank you before moving towards the bar, his hands still trembling slightly as he reached for a shot.

“Babe,” you started as you turned back to Bucky. He was still smirking, almost devilishly so. “You didn’t go too hard on him, I hope.”

Bucky snorted and moved to rest his hands on your hips, his mouth against the crown of your head. It was a good way to hide that twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he spoke the damning answer.

“Maybe.”

He did, however, attempt to back away from the swat you aimed at his chest, but a shout from the bar interrupted the moment of playful tension.

“To Parker,” Sam hooted as everyone raised a full shot glass of whiskey. Natasha quickly handed one to both you and Bucky so you could join the toast. “For being the bravest kid out there, and for being bat shit crazy!”

“To Parker!” The cheer echoed around the clubroom as everyone threw back their shot.

The liquor burned your throat on the way down, but it was overthrown by the feeling of unbridled joy. A new member always meant a patch party.

“Alright!” Bucky called, bringing everyone’s attention back to him as he leaned against the end of the bar. “We best get moving.” He gestured towards Peter and Sam. “Load the van with the shit we need.”

“You got it!” Peter shouted over his shoulder as he ran down the hallway to the supply closet. Even fully patched, he was still eager to please. Sam followed behind at a slow walk as he yelled after Peter to slow the fuck down.

Bucky turned to look at you as everyone dispersed from the bar, heading outside to meet in the lot.

“You know that this charity ride isn’t a good enough cover for a bike meet, Buck.” You chided, your tone playful as you gripped the lapel of his kutte. “I’m not silly.”

He pouted at your words, feigning offence.

“‘Course not. I just know you like watching my ass on that bike so you’d take any excuse to be behind.” The shiver going down your spine couldn’t be stopped as you stared defiantly into his face. Dammit. His sky-blue irises darkened when he noticed, the almost wolfish grin on his face not helping in the slightest. “You can’t hide that shit from me.”

“It is not my fault you have a nice ass.”

Bucky snorted as he rested his forehead against yours.

“It’s all yours, doll.”

Half an hour later you were standing in the lot, jacket and van keys in hand as you waited for the club to mount their bikes. Peter had made a show of rolling out the Dyna that he had been working on between Prospect duties. Its sleek frame, shining black with subtle red and white pinstriping on the fuel tank, was impressive. It suited him to a tee.

Bucky’s freshly-detailed Indian shone in the mid-morning sun, and you couldn’t help but stare at the black and gold frame. That very bike had taken you on the ride of your life just over a year ago out the front of Carol’s cafe; you had never looked back, and you did indeed run to hug Carol when Bucky dropped you off. His smug grin only fuelled Carol’s righteousness.

“I told you she was dying for a spin, Buck.”

You pulled from her embrace, ready to slap her shoulder for her arrogance but stopped short at the expression on Bucky’s face. The way he was staring at you made your stomach and heart flip in tandem before his honeyed voice interrupted your thoughts.

“You weren’t wrong, Carol. I owe you a beer.”

From that day forward you were smitten with the club President, the dangerous allure he held only serving to fuel the need for adventure in your blood. And boy, had he provided.

Steve and Natasha had wandered over to you, arm in arm, while you daydreamed. “You good there, pumpkin?” Steve asked, his unexpected voice making you jump.

“Just reminiscing, that’s all,” you laughed, smacking his shoulder for the nickname he had adopted for you. “You guys ready to go?”

“Sure thing.” He smiled and began walking back to the row of bikes parked along the side of the clubhouse. His navy blue Harley-Davidson sat proudly beside the Indian, pairing nicely with the black and gold - as if they were made to be brothers.

“Alright! Let’s go!” Bucky yelled as he jogged away from Peter, the grin on his face infectious as he came closer to you. “You good to go, doll?”

“Hell yeah,” you whispered as you pulled him down by his kutte to kiss him quickly. “Ride safe, please.”

“Always!”

Bucky’s stride had an extra bounce as he walked to his waiting Indian, arrogance and power oozing from his gait as though he was back in the seat at the head of the table. “Be safe, boys!” you called to the other members as they fitted their helmets, all of them grinning back at you. Especially Peter.

Bucky swung his leg over the bike and secured his helmet - you would never let him ride without one. You slipped into the van’s driver seat and glanced back to check on the supplies. All of the bags had been placed onto the cargo shelves and strapped down; no one wanted a repeat of a previous run, when their handguns had strewn all over the van floor after Peter took a turn too hard and fast.

Throwing a thumbs up to Bucky, you started the van. You couldn’t tamp down the excitement flooding through your veins - meets were always fun, and held an addicting feeling of power. Being the President’s girlfriend meant you were automatically respected, and for those who didn’t… well, Bucky had to maintain his reputation somehow.

The roar of the bike engines resounded off the walls of the garage and clubhouse as Bucky turned to look down the row expectantly.

He revved the throttle once and they all echoed, the signal they were all ready to go.

You watched with bated breath as Bucky pulled away first, closely followed by Steve and Sam. The rest of the gang followed and Peter trailed after them - even as a full ranked member, he still sat at the bottom of the hierarchy. He broke formation to wave and grin eagerly at you, showing his excitement with a pump of his fist.

“Oh, Peter,” you chuckled to yourself, waving goodbye to Natasha as she stood in the doorway of the clubhouse. “Never grow up.”

The bikes thundered down the main strip in town with you following close behind. The convoy of outlaws made the townsfolk pause in their stride as they watched them pass with either awe or disgust in their expressions - but none of the gang nor you paid them any mind.

As the group neared Marvel Cafe, you saw Carol cleaning tables outside after the morning rush. She spied the club riding by and whipped her head to find you waving at her from the van, which she heartily returned.

You would need to stop by soon, you thought with a smile. You desperately needed a coffee date with your best friend.

Buildings and the city sign flew by, the sun blazing overhead as the journey to the next town over began. You turned up the radio and sang along - the tune was bluesy and downright melodious. Your favourite.

“Some might say I talk loud, see if I care. Unlike them, don't walk away from my fear.” A quick glance at the rear view mirror showed you were the only car on the long, narrow stretch. You couldn’t help but peer towards the man leading the pack, his leather kutte blowing in the wind behind him. He does have a nice ass, you thought with a smirk. “I've busted bones, broken stones, looked the devil in the eye. I hope he's going to break these chains!”

The drive was uneventful, the songs on the radio your only entertainment for miles. But when you pulled onto the main drag of the town holding the meet, you were so overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and bikes that you had to turn the music down. Bucky slowed the convoy to a crawl as they navigated the crowds.

Bucky directed everyone to pull into an empty spot along the main stretch, and you stopped the van beside them, watching as they stood and stretched from the short ride. He waved at you and you slid from the seat, your back and ass protesting at the sudden move. “Gimme a minute!” you said with a grimace.

“Aw, c’mon, doll!” Bucky laughed as he walked over to you from his bike, his mocking tone only deserving of a scowl. “They have food trucks.”

“Where?!” you gasped, straightening up. No bike meet was complete without the greasiest and most unhealthy catering, but it was part of the culture - and you were craving churros. A staple, of course.

Bucky reached for your hand, the rough leather of his glove cool in your grip. The pair of you navigated the crowds as Steve and Peter followed behind you, keeping close in the sea of men clad in kuttes and bandanas. When a food truck finally came into view, the joy of getting a taste of true American cuisine made you feel like a kid in a candy store.

The line was only a few people deep, and Bucky pulled you behind a pair of women who were tattooed to the nines, their postures screaming fuck around and find out. They glanced over their shoulders and smiled at you, which you returned. As the line moved forward you rocked on the balls of your feet, your boots almost creaking under the pressure. You couldn’t stay still; the atmosphere was like a spark waiting to catch something, anything, and cause chaos. You didn’t know whether to be excited or unnerved by the possibilities.

Before long you reached the front of the line only to leave a second later, churro in hand.

“Happy now?” Bucky snickered as he let go of your hand to pat a passing man on the shoulders.

“Damn right I am!”

The four of you arrived back at your spot, and Bucky sat you down sideways on the back arch of his bike so you could face him. A smirk teased on the corner of his lips - it was a move of power for sure, but you’d indulge him. Only this once.

He leant against Steve’s Harley-Davidson, and you could feel his eyes and mind wandering to somewhere it should not be in public. Cheeky bastard.

“Barnes!”

Bucky tensed, the sound of his leather gloves creaking against his tight fist immediately putting you on alert. It was an unfamiliar voice, the almost playful tone overshadowed by the quick flash of animosity in Bucky’s eyes as he watched behind you.

“Hey, brother! Good to see you!” the stranger called as he approached.

Bucky pushed off of Steve’s bike and walked towards the voice, all traces of animosity gone, hidden behind a stoic front. He pulled off his glove, and you heard the clap of palms meeting each other in a firm shake. Steve was watching his President like a hawk, his stiff posture giving away just how on edge he still felt.

Unable to resist curiosity anymore, you swung a leg over the seat to straddle your boyfriend’s bike as you faced the newcomer.

The man in front of Bucky was tall, and his blonde hair was slicked back behind his ears. The black leather kutte was worn over a dark blue plaid shirt, his white sneakers almost spotless. The patches on the front of his kutte were a worn grey that revealed only Redwood Original, Men of Mayhem, and a stark white President tag.

“Hey, Jax,” Bucky said with a smile, his shoulders only slightly relaxing away from the hardline he had maintained. “Chibs.”

Beside Jax was a man wearing a full leather jacket, the only difference in their kuttes being a tag of ‘V. President’ and ‘Sons of Anarchy’.

“Bucky.” Chibs nodded as he shook his hand, the Irish lilt in his voice surprising you.

Steve and Sam stepped forward to greet the two men, and you watched as Jax regarded Bucky with a level of respect only afforded between men of such high rank. Peter came to stand by you, and you looked up to find him watching Jax like a hawk.

Having only been exposed to some factors of club life, you didn’t understand the sense of fear that brewed in your chest the longer you sat perched on Bucky’s bike. You felt a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder - Peter must have picked up on your trepidation.

“And who’s this?”

Peter tensed beside you when you looked up at Jax’s face, not missing the hungry glint shining in his cerulean eyes; they were almost identical to Bucky’s, and suddenly your fear disappeared, leaving only a sense of defiance in its wake.

Bucky had taught you that you commanded the respect of everyone in this life - President or not.

“Non-”

“She’s mine, Teller.” Bucky interrupted you with a snarl, the hard line in his shoulders returning. “Back the fuck off.”

Jax stared at Bucky with a brow raised, but Chibs put a hand on his shoulder to pull him back. “That’s enough, boys.”

You sat stunned in the tense silence. You had never, ever, in all the time you had been his girlfriend, heard Bucky speak like that.

And you could not help the spike of desire that flared within you.

Jax threw his hands up in a placating motion and backed away, the hostility bleeding from his shoulders as Chibs shook hands with Bucky, Steve, and Sam once again. He offered you a curt nod, which you returned.

You watched their retreating backs as the pair walked back toward their bikes. Ice crawled up your spine when you saw the emblemed club logo blazing on their backs: a reaper and scythe, covered in blood.

These were men to avoid like the plague.

“Fuckin’ asshole,” Bucky seethed as he watched the pair disappear into the crowd.

“It was one time, Buck,” Sam started, ignoring the death glare Bucky sent his way. “Let it go.”

Pure confusion flooded you as you looked between the two leading men.

“I will not let that fucker think he can walk in and take what he fuckin’ wants. I won’t tolerate it, Sam.” Bucky paced back and forth in front of their bikes, his combat boots hitting the pavement with a dull thud each footfall.

“Hey, c’mon,” you said, reaching for Bucky’s hand from where you sat on the back of his bike. You tucked one leg underneath you to make room for him on the seat, and when he sat down you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him close. “Who was that?” In your hold you could feel his shoulders begin to slump as he cracked his knuckles - a nervous habit he could never break.

Steve and Sam shared a look before Steve hesitantly started the story - it was still too painful for the President to recount. He watched as Bucky took deep breaths in your hold.

“That was Jax Teller. He’s the new President of the Sons of Anarchy Redwood charter.” Explains the titles lining the front of his kutte. “A few years ago he made a move on Dot, Bucky’s ex. He didn’t know they were together at the time. Buck found out and lost his shit.”

“He’s a piece of shit, and the thought of him…” Bucky trailed off with a growl and you immediately felt a rush of love towards him. He was trying to protect you, in his own way.

“Hey, do you see me chasing after him?” you asked, pulling back to look at Bucky. He shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose, his chest rising and falling deeply with the deep breaths. “You’re stuck with me, babe. No one's gonna take me away. I remember how to punch, okay?”

Bucky laughed and brought your hand to his lips, placing a kiss on your palm.

“I love you, and only you, okay?”

“I love you more than my bike, my queen,” Bucky whispered as he pulled your legs across his lap. You leaned back against the arch for balance, and the low whistle that left your lips made him laugh.

“Damn, babe!” you teased, as a sly grin gracing your features. “You ride me more than this beauty, too.”

Steve, Sam, and Peter groaned and turned away, calls of really and get a room being carried away by the sound of revving bikes.

“Parker!” Bucky shouted as he squeezed your thigh.

“Is it safe to look?”

“No, she’s sucking me off, you idiot.” Bucky sneered. You hastily pulled away from him and climbed to your feet, but you were laughing as you slapped his shoulder. Standing by the handlebars, you were a safe distance away from Bucky’s embrace, but Peter still groaned at the visual. “Oh, come on,” Bucky called to you, a playful lilt to his voice. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s walked in on!”

“Buck!” Steve scolded as he shook his head, while Sam’s shoulders shook from laughter.

Bucky turned to Peter. “Go get drunk,” he insisted, pointing to the liquor store across the street. “It’s a ritual!”

Peter whooped and ran off, Steve and Sam in tow to rein in the overjoyed newest patch.

“C’mere you,” Bucky beckoned, and you sauntered over from the handlebars to stand between his legs, your palms cradling his jaw. You hummed contentedly as you brushed the hair from his face, lost in his gaze.

“Let’s get outta here.” Bucky whispered as he turned his head to kiss your palm.

“Thought you’d never offer, babe.”

You swung your leg over the back of his bike as he secured the helmet on his head, handing you yours from the pannier. The sun had begun to set, the orange and pink hues splashed across the sky like an oil painting, beckoning you towards your home; the back of Bucky’s bike whilst the wind blew in your hair, the scenery flashing by as the bike took you wherever the road led you.

“You ready, sweetheart?”

Your iron grip around his middle was now a grounding ritual, and you placed your hand over his heart; yours beat in tandem with his steady and reassuring rhythm. You held the key to the kingdom in your hands with such reverence and care - as though he was made of glass.

Bucky’s bike rumbled to life beneath you as he toed the kickstand, gripping the throttle as though he held your very heart like you had his. And he wasn’t going to let go.

“Damn right, I am.”

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

Damn... I made this so long ago.

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel imagine #biker au #biker!bucky #alternate universe #The Keys to the Kingdom #TKTTK #rookthorne's works

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seas-storyarchive · 1 month

Text

Date - genderbent au

[[MORE]]

"Alastriona, darling, tell me about your day." Rory said, as they were sat at a booth in a small cafe, having ran out of other meaningless dribble to speak of. In front of Alastriona was a coffee "as black as her soul" that had little grounds in it because she was feeling like an extra bit of bitterness today with a plate that had the specialty ham on rye bread. Not bad, lacked a bit of flavoring but otherwise passable for a sandwich.

Alastriona chuckled at his request, "there isn't much to tell, darling. Hotel business isn't all about managing people - it's paperwork, meetings.. blegh.." she looked at his face, seeing that adoring smile he always gave her. "Tell me about your day, dear."

The man chuckled as he was adding more sugar and cream to his tea and stirring them in. As to how he had no cavities, that was a miracle right there. "Aside from Susan causing trouble at the town meeting, nothing new occurred."

Rory had a plate of cake piled with strawberries and whipped cream in addition to his bowl of gumbo ("I want to try it to see how it measures up to the genuine article, darling." "If you end up liking that bowl of slop that dares compare itself to my cooking, I demand a divorce.") that had meat that tasted raw in a bad way and lacked the seasoning that Alastriona gave her dishes thus it was ignored and deemed slop.

Alastriona fought back a snort, rather unladylike noise honestly but especially in public with her husband, as she smiled at him in a similar manner to which he stared at her. "Well, that old hag never fails to ruin a moment."

They both laughed. Unaware they were being watched.

A sinner demon, their server, had seen the rings, and took a few snapshots - one of the two, and another two zoomed in on the rings.

Bingabonga added to timeline: Holy fuckking fuck!! Radio Demoness and Cannibal King on a date!?! And they're marrried!?!

She added the pictures and then resumed her job. Unaware of what she'd done.

Angel was scrolling through his phone, when he got a text from Cherri.

Cherri: hey, dipshit. what you know about this shit?? it's everywhere..

Cherri: [attached link]

Angel looked at it, and felt himself die again. He made a noise that drew everyone's attention.

"Angel?" Charlie was concerned, seeing the spider nearly foaming at the mouth.

The spider turned to Husk and Niffty, who had been playing a card game, looking out of his mind - and not in the usual way.

"Yous fucks know dhat Smiles is married to dhis fuckin' freak?" Angel showed them all his phone. Just in time for a ding to show another picture.

They had kissed. It looked like a chaste, quick, private kiss

"Fuck me to heaven and back." Husk said, not believing his eyes.

"Whoa! I can't wait to ask Miss Alastriona about this!" Niffty was grinning maniacally.

"Hang on - who the fuck would willingly pick Alastriona?" Vaggie asked. "I've heard of that guy's reputation for killing and eating his wife's after a time, so could that be it?" Should they do something? Don't get Vaggie wrong, she still had it out (derogatory) for Alastriona. But if this guy was a threat, they'd have to protect themselves and their friend from this man.

"No way!" Charlie jumped in. "I've met Rory, and saw them interact. She seemed genuinely happy to be around him when she brought me to Cannibal Town."

"Who knows? Maybe it's all for convenience sake?" Lucifer asked. "Wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened to people in their situation to deter unwanted attention."

"Luci, baby, does dhis look like convince ta you?" Angel showed the man his phone as another picture popped up - Rory was feeding Alastriona a forkful of sweet, sugary cake. Blasphemy! "Smiles don't touch sweets! She fuckin' hates them!"

Charlie screamed in excitement. "Let me see! Let me see!" When she saw the picture she screamed again, louder this time. "That's so romantic! Look at how they're looking at each other! Oh, they're so in love!"

"Angel." Husk said sternly, seeing the look on his face.

Angel looked hurt. "What? I just wanted to ask them how they mee-" his phone dinged again. "Dhey're on da move!"

The two were walking arm in arm through a park.

"You were right about that gumbo, it didn't taste right." Rory scrunched up his face in disgust.

Alastriona laughed, moving closer to him. "I told you~" she sang, moving a hand up to adjust his hat so the skull was more centered.

"Thank you, my love." Rory smiled, taking the hand she was moving away and pulling it to his lips to kiss her knuckle tenderly.

The cannibal deer chuckled. "Careful now darling, I'd be tempted to think you wanted a bite."

"Just a nibble~" Rory said, giving her fingers a very light nip and humming.

"I.. R- Rory.." Alastriona was keenly aware they were in a park - granted there was no one around - a blush heating up her face as she tore her eyes to look off to the side.

"What is it, my darling deer?" Rory brought them to a bench in that secluded spot.

"I.. I don't deserve your charm.. it.." her face was moved to look at his, and her lips were caught by Rory's own.

"Yes, you do. Remember how you told me that you grew up a Creole in the time that you did?" Rory asked when they pulled away, getting a nod in return. "And, what did I tell you?"

"That.." she took a breath, as those words stole them every time, "that you wished you could see me, before my death, and bask in my beauty as you do now." Fuck, was she about to cry?

Rory said nothing, pulling her close. He looked up, frowned, and reached into his inner coat pocket. He produced a handgun, pointed it in the direction he was frowing, and pulled the trigger. Twice. All without a word, as his wife started to sob into his chest. Being the most vulnerable she'd been with him for about a year. Wether or not she heard the shots, she didn't indicate.

"Holy.." The gang had just watched the whole thing, from the time the two walked into the park, to when Rory fired those shots and ended the feed in a screen full of static. And the one who held the camera.

"Fuckers." Husk said, angry.

"We're getting her a therapist." Lucifer said, grabbing his phone.

No one said anything else. They all agreed.

When Rory brought Alastriona back to the hotel, it was getting dark out, no trace of her crying was present. Good.

They found everyone in a sitting room, all waiting fro them.

"Hey, uh.. Ona?" Charlie decided to speak up after what felt like an eternity.

"Yes, Charlotte dear?" Ah, radio. Helped make her not feel so raw.

"How long have yous two been married?!" Angel couldn't hold it in anymore.

Alastriona's smile became a flustered blush like nothing they'd ever seen before. "Oh, oh! That little sinner decided to take a few snap shots? Well, to think we'd tipped her rather well. And recommended her to management for a promotion." Shit.. they just made it so the Demoness had lunch picked out for tomorrow.

"Darling." Rory said, honestly happy they could just be themselves around this bunch of misfits, caroling his wife's penchant for violence.

Alastriona sighed, leaning into Rory's side, still able to talk clearly. "We've been married for about.. 27 years."

Rory nodded happily, smiling as he saw everyone's mouths drop. Take that, you pack of degenerates. "Best 27 years of my life."

Alastriona laughed, her face still flustered, as everyone's brains melted out of their ears in shock. She laughed louder when Rory pulled her along out of the room.

"So, darling.. about that gumbo?"

"That's my love."

Angel was the first to speak, "what da hell..."

#hazbin hotel #genderbent au #genderbent radiorose

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hunted-moth · 1 year

Text

Forest Of Dreams Part One: A Shit Place

Summary// after the death of your older brother tom, you and Jake talk about life and catch up

Word Count// 1.3k words( 1,317 idk how to shorten it :| )

Warnings// Cursing, death(toms “funeral” and how he died), Bad writing(maybe), drinking, small fight scene- let me know if I should add anything else -3-

A/N // I want to be gay with Neytiri and I can only find poly reader stuff :’) so I’m writing it myself! But beware I’m dyslexic and had shit education so if it’s weird to read that’s why. Oh and the banner was made by me but the pics are from the game pandora rising and a clip from the movie

“YO TOM, I'M HOME, YA HERE?”

you said walking through the door, silence. ‘Strange, But oh well he's a grown man after all. He can do what he wants” you thought

as you walk to the kitchen to get something to eat and grab a drink. As you got to the fridge you saw a note:

‘Went to the store be right back for more food :D’

“oh, so that's where he is,” saying out loud. You open the fridge and grabbed a pop and a pudding cup and go to plop down on the couch. You just got back from your avatar training. You were going to Pandora as a Xenogeologist. you did ok with said training but the language was a bit difficult to grasp.

you finished the snack and opened a laptop to study and practice said language, but just as you were about to start, a knock at the door interrupted. A sigh escaped your lips as you got up and opened the door with some sass.

“Are you Y/N Sully” two men in suits greeted you at the door, “yeah what do you want?” attitude rolled off your tongue

“Is your brother Tom Sully, age 22”, “yeah, what about him?” you asked warily

“He’s dead, stabbed in a mugging gone wrong,” one agent said with zero emotion as if he had said it a dozen times already, “he's at the morgue if you'd like to see him,” the other said

At the morgue, you looked down at the box that was about to be pushed into the inferno you tried calling jake but he never answered

you looked over to see that none other than your older brother jake rolled in with two agents.

“We're looking for Sully T” the agent's voice boomed, you recognized them as an RDA agent.

“Yeah over here”.

“Jesus Tommy” “yeah, two cops came to our place, said he was stabbed by some thug for his cash” was all that was said between the two.

You heard the two agents talk to Jake about replacing Tom in the avatar program. You just tuned it out and thought of what to do, you had three days till you were shipped out. you had just graduated college a few months ago, so had a shit ton of free time. Then a thought popped into your head.

“Hey Jake, wanna go get a drink?” a smirk formed on your lips

“what? Aren't you 20 though” jakes face was confused, both from the fact he was already drunk and the fact you were two years younger than him

but with a shit-eating grin, you pulled out your wallet to show your fake ID

“don't worry, i'll be fine,” you said with a smile

“Jesus N/N” jake couldn't help but chuckle

“Relax, besides I turn 21 in a few months. Plus we get shipped out in three days, so why not live a little”

He only shook his head with a smile “fine” was his final answer

“nice let's go to this bar I know, two streets down I think”

Location–Cherry Tops Bar

“TO TOMMY” both of you toasted to his memory, then took a swig of the liquor

“So how’d you get a fake id,” he asked “ahh I knew some art majors back in college, had them whipped one up for me when I was 18”

“Good lord Y/N, you graduate high school at 16 with that brain of yours and you get an id to drink”

“Hey, at least I waited, 'cause I seem to remember you coming home drunk” pointing out his hypocrisy seemed to get a laugh outta ya.

Growing up it was just you three, so, of course, you'd pick up both traits of your brothers

“So how ya been anyway,” you asked Jake, the two of you hadn't talked in months. Jake sighed saying

“same old same old,” he said with a gloomy face

“ah well, that's gonna change in about three days and about 6 years from now” you both laughed with jake returning your question to you

“oh you know, I finished college about two months ago, Zoe and I broke up, and got my ears stretched” “oh you and Zoe broke up?” “yeah, just didn't feel anything anymore, plus I'm leaving for what 16-18 years so might as well call it off,” you said with a neutral expression, sure she was a nice girl beautiful too. There just wasn’t anything there anymore

As you and Jake were getting caught up in your lives, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked over to see some dude looking down at you with a stupid smile clearly drunk. You recognized him as a former classmate, he was a known creep who'd get up in everyone's space

“Ya need something dude?” there was a hint of annoyance in your tone as you shrugged off his hand

“yeah, Just need you in my bed tonight” he wore a sleazy grin while looking at your chest

“ah sorry man, I already got your Ma in mine, can't keep her waiting, right bro,” you said as you looked at your brother to continue your joked

“yeah sis, let's bounce and go to yours,” he said with a playful smirk

Obviously, he was a momma's boy and didn’t take kindly to calling his mom a whore as he looked at the two of you, he looked like he was about to punch you, and when he eventually did, you swung back faster.

Knocking him to the ground. His buds went to help him by knocking you down but Jake had your back by wheeling into them. You straddled the guy getting a few licks in before you were pulled off by the bouncer and you and Jake were thrown out. You got up laughing while helping Jake up.

“Why don't you crash at my place till it's time to go, bet you still live in that shoe box” you offered

“Yeah sure, i'll head to my place and pack up tomorrow” he agreed, and started rolling away

“sounds like a plan”

Location– Y/Ns and Tom's apartment

The apartment was small but still bigger than jakes. It had two rooms and a closed bathroom but was still small though with little space for anything else, but since Y/N and Tom were out of the house all the time it didn't matter.

“Hmm kinda cozy” jake commented

“Yeah, and pretty cheap for what it is. You can sleep on the couch ". You moved the coffee table so Jake could have a place for his wheelchair. Then retired to your room to sleep. As you were sleeping, you had a dream, you were in a jungle. You heard giggling and it ran off as you chased it into the forest. Then you woke up.

Location– Jakes Place

In the morning you and Jake went to his place to help him pack up.

“wow, I really do forget that you literally live in a shoe box” you looked around his place, it was an open floor plan, and very cramped

“shut up,” Jake said as he pinched you

“OW,” you yelped.

It was a quick activity as he didn't have much to his name. As you two head to your house you thought about the dream again. Jake noticed and asked:

“Hey, what's up? Been spacing off all morning,” he asked concerned

“hmm oh nothing, had that forest dream again,” you said nonchalantly as if it was breathing

“Wow, this is like what? The hundredth time” he joked. You've been having this dream since you were a kid. Sometimes you'd be flying, running, or swimming after someone. Your mother always said that it was god giving you dreams of the past, but you wrote it off as just a random recurring dream, stemming from the fact you like nature.

Jake only nodded as you two made it to your door. You decided to order some food and just relax for the day.

It felt weird to you, Jake and Tom were identical twins, but Jake had longish hair. So seeing him do the same routine as Tommy gave you a sense of Deja Vu.

Once you finished you retired to your room to get some studying in and rest. As of tomorrow, you and Jake would be put in cryosleep as you journeyed to pandora.

Next // PT 2 New Life New Dreams

Previous // N/A

Taglist//

//Masterlist//

A/N// First chapter :D good god is this short, this also might be bad…but oh well you start from somewhere lol and it will be longer lol

I've got some ideas for pt 2 but if you have some feel free to give them to me. Oh and this fic was inspired by ‘Dream Girl’ by omgkatherine01. Like I said inspired so some things might by similar haha

#neytiri x reader #x reader #jakes and reader are siblings #avatar x reader #neytiri x avatar reader #neytiri #jake sully #avatar #james cameron #james cameron avatar #wlw #lesbian paring

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reidsmouthbabys48 · 5 days

Text

Warnings; Unsub!reader, flashbacks of sub!spence, mean Spencer, fem!dom!reader, hand job, pet names (good boy, baby, etc.), riding, hair pulling, cum play, mommy kink and I think that’s it actually lol

~~~~

"You have every one else fooled with your 'good girl' act but I know what you are, y/n" Spencer says sitting infront of you and leaning forward, hes trying to intimate you but you only smirk.

"Oh really? What am I spencer?" You say seductively leaning over the table so your face is closer to his.

"You're a murder." He says sternly and you laugh, "you have no proof of that pretty boy" you say and he tenses for a moment at the nickname but immediately goes back to his stern 'bad cop' persona.

"Don't worry sweetheart I will," he says leaning closer to you so his breath gosts over your ear, "and when I do you're gonna go to jail for a long time, because that's what I do I put psychotic bitches like you in prison" he says and you smile.

"You're a bad boy now? You were so sweet when we were in school I never knew you could be so…mean. it turns me on Reid, why don’t you choke me try something new? I know you’re the one getting choked most of the time." You say and he rolls his eyes leaning away from you, "I slept with you once y/n don’t act like you know everything about my sex life" he says and you smile, "you didn't 'sleep with me', i popped your cherry Spence, you'll never forget me I introduced you to my world baby there’s no turning back" you say with a shit eating grin on your face.

He gets up and walks out of the Interrogation room, leaving you all alone with your thoughts.

"You slept with her!" JJ says as soon as I walk out of the room. "She took your virginity?" Morgan asks not even five seconds after her.

"Yes, and yes" I say and hotch shoots me a disapproving glance.

"I was 15, I didn't know she was a phycho crazy bitch" I say putting my hands up in defense.

"Was it- nevermind" Derek says and I roll my eyes, I know exactly what he was going to say.

“Yes it was good Derek, Very good actually, it’s a shame she’s fucking crazy if she wasn’t then it wouldn’t have only been once trust me” I say staring through the double mirror behind the interrogation room.

~~~

“Y/n?, do you uh wanna come over and watch a movie?” I ask my voice shakey, shes so beautiful I don’t know why I think for a second she’s say yes, I’m just a nerdy, scrawny 15 year old and she’s a beautiful, smart, popular, amazing girl.

“Of course Spence what time?” She says and I panic, I didn’t think she would ever say yes “u-uhm I don’t care whenever is alright with me I’ll just send you the address and you can text me when you’re on your way?” I stutter and she giggles, “sounds perfect Spence, see you then” she says winking at me then walking away.

I rush home and spend the next few hours anxiously running around the house and trying to look perfect, I ordered Chinese food and theres the titanic on tv im lighting candles when my phone buzzes, y/n’s name lights up the phone and I pick it up.

“Hey Spence I’m coming up right now see you soon pretty boy” oh shit. Shit. Shit. Do I look ok? I didn’t brush my teeth yet oh my god I’m not ready. My mind is racing as I hear a knock on the door, I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants, take a deep breath and open the door too see y/n in a crop top and mini skirt with a sucker in her mouth.

“hi love, you gonna let me in, Or are you gonna stare all day?” She says and I shake my head, “sorry” I mumble moving aside so she can walk through the door.

“It’s so cozy in here I like it” she says spinning around to face my her skirt lifting up and slightly showing her ass, Jesus I need to sit down.

“You wanna watch a movie? The food will be here soon, I ordered Chinese is that ok?” I ask and she nods and plops herself on the couch.

Where about 15 minutes into the movie when there’s a knock on the door, “ that’s probably the food hold on” I say smiling at her and getting up, a few moments later im back on the couch and there’s takeout trays on the table.

When y/n finishes her food she lays on the couch and puts her head in my lap, her mouth is so close to my dick, no Spencer stop.

“You’re hard baby” she says looking up at me, shit.

“Im so sorry I-I didn’t— im sorry” I stutter, I feel my face heat up and I turn my head away from her, she sits up and grabs my chin as she moves to sit on my lap, my breathing picks up slightly and my whole body feels warm as she touches my face.

“Do you want me?” She says quietly and I nod.

“Please I wan- I need you please” I whine, a pitiful noise but I don’t care.

“Good boy” she says her Voice low, I whimper as she grinds down onto my hard cock.

“I- fuck I’ve never done anything with anyone” i whine and she nods, “I know baby, do you want this? We don’t have to do anything you don’t wan-” “no no please please please I want it I want you so bad please do anything you want to me I don’t care, use me please” I say cutting her off. “Ok baby”

She pulls the hem of my shirt signaling me to take it off and I do, she smirks and slides off of my lap onto the floor “how big are you Spence” she asks and I blush, “I don’t know” I lie and she shoots me a disproving glance, “you’re a 15 year old boy Spencer, you’ve measured. now, I’m gonna ask again, how big are you?” I groan at the way she’s talking down to me. “8 and a half” I whine.

She tugs my pants down as soon as the words leave my mouth, “holy shit” she mumbles as the leans down to lick the tip, I let out a high pitched moan and buck my hips.

“Please please f-feels fuck feels so good” I moan, she smirks and takes me all the way, I feel my tip hit the back of her throat and she gags but doesn’t get off “I’m not gonna last” I whine as she bobs her head, she pulls off with a pop “wait until I say you can cum” she says and I groan “please I can’t wait it feels to good, mommy please” I moan, mommy slipping out without me realizing, she stops moving and pulls off of me again, “mommy huh?” She says and I blush “s-sorry” I mumble and she smiles at me, “no baby it’s ok I like it” she says taking me back into her mouth.

“I’m gonna cum please mommy let me cum I need it” I moan loudly and she quickens her pace, she bobs her head a few more times and I cum in the back of her throat

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hold it in” I mumble as she gets off of my dick with another pop.

“I wanna ride you” she says and I nod. “I- yes ma’am” I mumble as she takes her panties and shirt off, standing in front of me in only a mini skirt and a lace bra.

“Do you want me to ride you baby?” She asks as she climbs on my lap, she feels my hard dick pressing into her thigh, “well I already got an answer from downstairs” she teases, leaning down to kiss my neck, “answer my question” she says tugging at my hair. “Yes please, I want you to ride me mommy” I whine.

“Such a good boy” she moans seductively in my ear. “Got a condom?” She asks and I shake my head no, she reaches her hand into her bra and pulls one out, “good thing I came prepared huh”

She takes her panties off and climbs onto my lap again, she moves to sit on my knees to put the condom on.

I pull at the back of her bra and she nods letting me unclasp it and take it off

“Do you wanna feel?” She asks and I nod eagerly, I Palm one of her boobs in my and bring my mouth to the other she moans as my tongue rolls over her nipple, her hands sliding into my hair.

OK CHAT THATS ENOUGH FOR TODAY

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vampyrsutton · 1 year

Text

MatchaBlossom~Spanking

Summary:

Cherry flirts with a client to get a rise out of Joe. As usual, it works.

Ao3 Tags:

Spanking, Kinktober, Kinktober 2021, Edging, Orgasm Denial, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom Being a Little Shit, Old Married Couple

"Why are you such a fucking brat?" Kojirō growls in his boyfriend’s face as he crowds him against the now-closed door of their apartment.

A pink eyebrow creeps into the other man's hairline in mock innocence. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, dumb gorilla."

"Bullshit. With you're clients. It's fine if you bring them to the restaurant to discuss details, but why is whenever you have a younger one, you have to sit there and be a little slut?"

"Care to elaborate?" Kaoru huffs. He knows exactly what his brute is talking about, but he's been feeling especially feisty lately and knows his continued denial will only rile the other up more. Maybe he'll even get punished tonight if he plays his cards right.

"Care to elaborate." Kojirō scoffs mockingly. "First off, must you sit so damn close? I keep the music so low so that it doesn't interfere with people's conversations yet there you were practically in the guy's lap just for planning! Did you really need to touch his thigh? Or let him put his arm on your shoulder?" The muscled man rants as he starts loosening the obi holding the other's yukata closed.

"Maybe if it wasn't so cold in the building." Kaoru makes no move to stop the other but does use his fan to hide the smirk playing on his lips.

"We live in Okinawa! It's always hot as hell and so humid the A/C can barely keep up so that's a load of bull and you know it. Admit it Kaoru, you just wanted punished."

"Tch, don't be ridiculous, horny gorilla. You're imagining things."

"Oh, so now it's that I've imagined it, huh?" Kojirō smirks, finally getting the obi undone and trailing his fingers across the smaller man's skin.

"Exactly. Now if you would mo-ooh-mobe." Kaoru smacked his hand over his mouth to try and mask his sounds when the larger man brushes against the bulge in his boxer briefs.

"Hm? What was that?" The smirk widens.

Kaoru stubbornly keeps his mouth shut, giving no more than a huff.

“Now that won’t do.” Kojirō tsks, moving his hands around to the back of the other’s thighs before using the muscles he has worked so hard on to hoist the smaller man so his slim chest is at head level.

Kaoru can’t help his squeak as he is lifted up the door like he weighs nothing, and tries to ignore the way his cock twitches in interest at the action. This plan flies out the window the second a hot mouth closes around his nipple, however, and he arches into the touch, already way too sensitive from the amount of anticipation he had put himself through.

“Shit,” he hisses out, grabbing onto green hair. Whether this was to push the other away or pull him closer, he hasn’t decided yet. “You cheating oaf.”

“Says the one that was flaunting around my restaurant trying to make me jealous.” Kojirō snorts before sucking hard on one of the pink nubs before him and smirking when it cuts off whatever bratty remark Kaoru had in store and ripped a moan from his pretty little lips.

“I-Ahhh!- I did no such thing.” Kaoru groans, trying to squirm and get some sort of control over the situation.

“Always so stubborn. This is why it took us almost a decade of bickering to finally get together like some sort of enemies-to-lovers story. Thank god you said yes when I proposed within the same year. It wouldn’t kill you to be a little more honest.” One of the big hands leaves Kaoru’s thigh to start playing with the other nipple.

“I would combust,” Kaoru answers stone-faced before moaning quietly at the show of strength. “Fuck, Ko.”

“Dramatic as always.” Kojirō chuckles before biting the bud he had been previously sucking, soothing it by running his tongue over it once more.

“ShU-shit -Shut up.” Kaoru’s face is turning a similar shade to his hair.

“Aww, stuttering already, baby?” The grin is shit-eating at this point.

Kaoru chooses to try to remain quiet, but quickly fails when Kojirō now switches nipples and the arching of the pinkette’s back makes both realize Kaoru’s dick is even with the other’s abs.

This is quickly used against him as his waist is pulled closer and he is basically forced to choose between either stubbornly receiving no stimulation to protect his pride, or rut against the bigger man’s abs like they’re desperate teenagers again and throw that pride out the window.

His pride is losing just as quickly.

“Fuck, Kojirō. Cheater. Absolute cheater.” Kaoru doesn’t whine.

A low chuckle rumbles across the pinkette’s slim chest as Kojirō kisses up to the other’s neck, sucking hard and biting at a spot that he knows makes the other weak.

The desperate sound he makes, and the small plea that manages to escape? Shit, Kojirō almost gives in right there if he couldn’t still see the mischief in Kaoru’s eyes from earlier today.

When the muscled man starts swallowing the smaller man’s moans in a kiss, Kaoru decides he’s teased himself enough and uses his husband’s abs to their fullest.

A smirk slips its way into the kiss as the hand that was previously on the smaller’s chest moves up into the other’s moaning mouth, slipping in three fingers. “Suck.”

Kaoru glares stubbornly, but does as he’s told, making a show of saturating each digit until they’re basically dripping. A new spark of mischief flashes through gold eyes as he turns the scene absolutely pornographic with facial expressions and sounds. Based on the sizeable tent forming under his own, he’s succeeding and a particularly lewd moan even manages to earn him a growl.

“Fuck, how can such a horrible personality be so fucking sexy?” Kojirō groans, glaring at the other’s mouth intensely.

Kaoru reaches up to pull the fingers from his mouth with a pop. “You love it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Kojirō smiles fondly for a moment before he’s right back to trying to get his husband to cave. He pulls removes his much bigger fingers from delicate ones and reaches between them to start stroking the other’s cock.

Kaoru’s face turns just as fond for a moment before he chokes on a moan when the other’s hand wraps around him and starts a long-practiced rhythm built from years of their strange friends-with-benefits/hate sex/stubbornly being oblivious arrangement that Kojirō has perfected in his countless endeavors to reduce the other to a moaning mess. It was a science at this point that never failed to bring Kaoru to the edge embarrassingly fast.

The only outlier was if Kojirō would let him.

“Shit! Kojirō~! Why did you stop, you stupid gorilla?!” He already knew why.

“Admit you were being a brat to get punished, and I’ll let you cum.” A smug smirk.

Kaoru stubbornly tries to thrust into the large hand wrapped around his cack, but instead, the hand just starts to retreat, and Kaoru whines. His hands shoot down to dry to bring the spit-slicked heat back, but he is once again manhandled so he is being by Kojirō’s knee between his legs and the door at his back as the hand previously holding his thigh now holds his hands above his head. “Dammit, Ko!”

“Ready to behave?”

A glare as cover for a pout.

“Okay, let’s give that pride an alternative. Admit your brattiness, accept your punishment, and I’ll help you cum; or you can hump my thigh like the bitch you are and accept your punishment with no reward after?” Kojirō smirks, knowing the answer. “What’s it gonna be?”

Kaoru looks at his husband in horror as his eyes dart across his face despite knowing it’s not a joke. “You cannot be serious!”

“As Snow.”

“...Dear, I don’t think he’s serious. I think he just shares a skateboard-shaped brain cell with his crush.”

Kojirō burst out laughing, leaning his forehead on the other’s thin shoulder. “I don’t know if I can even argue with that.”

“We spent over a decade pining. I think we would know.” Kaoru smirks now.

“I would hope we learned something from all of that.” The green-hair beefcake chuckles before noticing movement. “Seriously? Are you really trying to distract me to get off?”

“I mean I wasn’t wrong.” Kaoru shrugs as best he can with his hands restrained.

“Well congrats, you’ve now lost that option.” Kojirō lets the pinkette’s toes touch the ground so he’s only holding his hands above his head and he has no source of friction.

“Ko~! No~!” Kaoru lets out a frustrated groan, letting his usual prim and proper attitude drop and be replaced by the bratty attitude Kojirō referenced from earlier.

“There he is!” Kojirō grins cockily. “Ready to admit defeat?”

The pinkette can’t stop his pout as he glares at the other silently.

The larger man just sighs, deciding he’s waited long enough and giving the other stimulation once more.

Kaoru arches into the touch, moaning as his cock is once again enveloped in heat and stroked. “AHhh! Please! Ko, please!” His arms are allowed to drop only to be captured in front of him as Kojirō drops to his knees and takes him whole into his mouth and uses his other hand to hold Kaoru’s hips still while he works. “Fuck! Shit! Please! Please, Ko, please! I’m clo-Noo~!”

A whine leaves the pinkette once more when Kojirō backs away. “Dammit, Ko!”

“You know how to stop this.” Kojirō teases.

Kaoru’s face twists in annoyance, but he finally makes up his mind when Ko starts lathering just the tip with the attention that is nowhere near enough to bring him over the edge. “Fine! Fuck, Ko! Fine! I was being a brat, and teasing you by flaunting a young client at your restaurant and letting him be overly friendly! Now, please! Please let me cum!”

Kojirō backs away with a cocky smirk. “Before or after your punishment?”

Kaoru whines, but slumps defeatedly. “...After.”

“Good boy. Go over to the couch, I’ll be there in a minute.” The bigger man smiles, letting go of his husband’s much daintier wrists. “And no touching yourself.’

“Yes, sir.” Kaoru sighs, taking himself to the living room to wait for the other.

It doesn’t take long for Kojirō to come into the room with lube and condoms. “With or without?”

“Without is fine.” Kaoru shrugs quietly.

“Without it is.” Kojirō nods, sitting on the couch and patting his lap. “You know what to do.”

Kaoru flushes as dark as his hair as he lays across Kojirō’s thighs with his ass on display.

“I was going to do just ten, but since someone decided to resist punishment I’m thinking fifteen?” The muscled man hums, massaging his husband’s perky little ass.

“Wha-?!”

“Is there a problem? Do you want more?” A green eyebrow creeps up a tanned face.

“No, sir! Fifteen is fine!” Kaoru backpacks quickly, just wanting to get to the part where he can cum.

“Good boy.” Kojirō hums, tapping each cheek playfully to up the anticipation. “Count ‘em.”

“Yes, SiIirrr-AH! One!” Kaoru yelps when a hard smark lands on his left ass cheek, choking out the number.

SMACK

“Twooo.”

SMACK

“Three- fuck, why are your hands so big?!”

“You don’t complain when they’re inside you,” Kojirō smirks. SMACK

“Shut uUp! F-four!” Koaru’s cock is stuck between Kojirō’s thighs and his own and is getting glorious friction with each impact.

“Stuttering again, already?” SMACK SMACK

“Your thIGhs- SIx!” The pinkette whimpers, wiggling now to escape but relaxing when Kojirō rubs his pinkened cheeks to soothe the pain.

“What about them?” The smirk is evident in his voice.

“My dick… humping them,” Kaoru mutters, knowing not answering will get him more swats.

Kojirō raises an eyebrow before he realizes and smirks again. “Are you going to cum from punishment again?”

“Shut up, gorilla.” The pinkette mumbles, burying his face in the couch.

“Never.” He hums. SMACK

“AH! Seven!” SMACK “Ei-eight!”

“Halfway there, baby.”

Kaoru whimpers in response.

SMACK

“Nine…”

SMACKSMACK

“Te- Eleven.” There’s a small hiccup as Kaoru’s thighs start shaking.

“Four more.” SMACK “Three.”

“Twelve. Ko, please. It huuurts.” The smaller man whines.

Kojirō rubs his cheeks again to soothe them, thinking that’s what the pinkette means. “Almost done, baby.”

“‘M close.” Kaoru mumbles.

“Yes, baby, you are. I’ll finish them off quickly.” The bigger man hums.

With three quick, hard smacks, and three choked sobs of numbers, Kaoru’s punishment is finally over, and Kojirō takes a few moments of just rubbing out the sting. He coos and hums softly at all of Kaoru’s little sniffs and hiccuped sobs, massaging his cheeks.

“-sniff - Kooo.” Kaoru sniffs disappointedly.

“Yes, baby?” Kojirō frowns.

“I’m sorry, Ko.”

“For?” He’s slightly concerned now.

“I came before you said I could…” Kaoru hiccups, slumping dejectedly.

Kojirō’s eyebrows shoot up as he reaches between them and feels the sticky white spot seeming into his pants. He smirks, a little proud of himself. “Oh, baby. You’re okay.”

“But-But what about you? You haven’t cum yet?” Kaoru pouts.

Kojirō’s chest feels warm at his now soft husband. “That’s alright, baby. Do you wanna just suck me off?”

A new flush creeps down Kaoru’s neck. “I wanted you inside.”

The muscular man smirks now. “I mean if you’re not too sensitive…”

Kaoru takes a moment to think about it before just quietly lifting his ass in answer.

Kojirō chuckles as he picks up the lube and spreads it across his fingers. “Do you want me to go easy?”

“Do you want to sleep on the couch?”

“Hard and fast, gotcha.” Kojirō laughs as he probes at the other’s hole with a lubed finger only to be stopped by a plug he hadn’t noticed before. He looks towards his husband’s head and sees the flush has started creeping down his back in embarrassment. When the current situation sinks in fully, Kojirō moans lowly. “Fuck, baby, you’re going to kill me.”

“Shut up, gorilla. Just get to it.” Kaoru snaps, embarrassed.

There’s a snicker from behind the pinkette, but he doesn’t get a chance to be snappy as he moans loudly at the plug being removed.

“Shit, Kaoru! No wonder you came from getting spanked. I don’t even need to prep you with the size of this thing.”

“Koooo~” Kaoru groans, wiggling his ass to convince his husband to move .

Kojirō inhales sharply before Kaoru feels fresh lube squirted into his fluttering hole and guesses Kojirō uses the lube left on his hand to lube his own cock.

“Ready, baby?” Kojirō questions, lining up.

Kaoru just thrusts back against the other’s cockhead in answer.

Another sharp inhale and involuntary forward thrust finds the head of Kojirō’d cock catching Kaoru’s rim and getting a moan out of both of them.

That’s the last prompting Kojirō needs as he sinks into the pinkette and, after making sure he’s adjusted, starts a brutal pace of pounding Kaoru into the couch and ripping loud moans from his throat.

Kojirō uses his muscles to their full advantage as he thrusts hard and fast into the man beneath him who is clawing at the couch in overstimulation but moaning all the same. He loves the other man’s long sakura-colored hair, but right now, he hates how it covers his pretty face. Next time he pulls out, he flips the smaller over so he can see him and about comes at the sight of the normally put-together man looking completely debauched. Tear tracks running down his face, drool at the corner of his mouth, and a blush that reaches from face to about mid-chest not to mention the beautiful hair now fanned out behind him?

Perfect is all Kojirō could think of as he bent the smaller man almost in half to devour his mouth in a kiss as he continued to abuse his already sore ass.

Kaoru moans into the kiss, kissing back with equal passion before suddenly crying out when Kojirō finally hits his prostate. He doesn’t know if he loves or hates the smirk that spreads across the larger’s face.

Kojirō, having now found his target, sits back up with a mischievous smirk before pulling almost all the way out and hitting that spot again to create another loud moan.

“There it is.” He laughs before proceeding to abuse that spot as much as possible.

Kaoru cries out at the attack, back arching off the couch as he claws at the upholster. “AHHhh~! Kooo! Noooo~! To much! Kojirō! Fuc-aHhhh~!” The tears have started again, but he makes no move to safeword out.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.” Kojirō groans, snapping his hips in and out of the other at full speed, his moans music to his ears.

“Kooo! Please!” Kaoru hiccups, reaching down to stroke his cock that has once again risen to the occasion.

Kojirō allows it this time, seeing as his baby was so good during his punishment, and moans loudly as he realizes he’s close, thrusts becoming erratic. “Almost, baby.”

Kaoru strokes himself furiously, clenching around his husband’s cock, and doing his best to get him off again. With how sensitive he already was, he’s back at the edge embarrassingly fast.

Kojirō groans, leaning forward to capture his husband’s lips once more as he bottoms out one last time and fills him up. He doesn’t miss the feeling of warmth that sputters across his stomach as Kaoru comes soon after and flops in exhaustion.

“Shit, Kojirō.” Kaoru groans into his husband’s shoulder when they finally separate.

“I know.” The bigger man hums with a smile, gathering the smaller man on top of him to cuddle once he pulls out. “Learn your lesson?”

“Nope.”

“Think you ever will?” Kojirō chuckles, already knowing the answer.

“In your dreams, stupid gorilla.” Is the mumbled response, but Kojirō can feel the smile against his pec.

“Nah, you’re perfect.” He sighs, kissing the other’s forehead with a dopey smile. “Wouldn’t change you if I could.”

The small smile grows, but there is no further sass as the pinkette starts to drift off. “Love you, you stupid gorilla.”

“Love you too, baby.” Kojirō smiles, settling in for a nap himself, knowing the other will not be moving.

He supposed clean-up could wait.

#matcha blossom #nanjo kojiro #kaoru sakurayashiki #kojiro nanjo #sakurayashiki kaoru #sk8 the infinity #sk8 cherry #sk8 joe #sk8 smut #kinktober #kinktober 2021

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justice4billy · 2 years

Text

Caught a vibe, baby are you coming for the ride

Part two.

Warning: mentions of drug use, violence and hints of abuse

Pairing: Billy x reader/ Billy x Harley (my oc)

Harley tapped her nails on the wooden bench as she anxiously waited for Billy to show up, not that she even knew he would it could all just be one big joke to him. But then again, why would he miss out on a chance to make extra money?

The woods gave off a familiar yet eery vibe which had her nerves on edge, as she bounced her knee up and down jumping at every small sound. She wished he would just hurry up.

A hand slamming on the table had her gasping for breath, her hand flying over her chest as she looked up to the face of a smirking Billy Hargrove whilst she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Shall we?" He asked with a shit eating grin as he nodded his head over his broad shoulders.

Harley nodded before slowly getting up and following him to an unfamiliar vehicle parked on the side of the road.

"What happened to your car?" She asked referring go his blue camaro that he drove endlessly around the streets of Hawkins.

Billy sighed. "Its in ruins" he muttered muttered a shrug. "This is my step moms car gotta borrow it till I get a new one" he stated not sounding to happy with the arrangement and Harley agreed it was pretty comical seeing Billy behind the wheel of a Sedan.

She nodded deciding not to pass comment before setting herself into the car, the leather seats squeaking as moved to put her belt on. The drive was relatively silent apart from the music in the background which Harley quickly recognised as Metallica one of her favourite bands.

"You like this type of music?" Billy asked his eeys flickering over to hers briefly before settling back on the road.

Harley baulked slightly. "Yes, Metallica is my favourite band" she responded.

Billy gave a low whistle. "No shit, whats your favourite?" He asked.

"This one" she replied nodding at the radio.

Billy scoffed. "Enter sandman, really? That's the most popular one" he stated.

"Well, what's your favourite?" She asked.

Billy hummed. "Nothing else matters" he responded back.

Harley nodded in response. "Thats a good one also the album Kill Em All is one of their best" she replied trying to make conversation.

She saw Billy nod in agreement but the blonde didn't add anything else to the conversation, leaving Harley to look out the window in order to distract herself from feeling nervous. It was pretty weird to think she would soon be in the home of the notorious Billy Hargrove.

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, they were pulling up to his house located on Cherry Lane.

Billy pulled up by the curb putting the car in park before swiftly exiting leaving Harley to follow suit. The house was pretty quaint for such a tough guy as Billy, the yellow paint had started chipping slightly and the porch creaked as the pair walked up it.

"Watch your step the wood is rotten" he stated nodding to a dark patch on the porch which Harley gracefully stepped over.

Billy opened the door before entering the home, it was pretty small inside with a TV in one corner and work out equipment in the other.

"You live here alone?" Harley asked as Billy shrugged his denim jacket off leaving a white singlet which showcased his impressive stature.

Billy sniffed. "May aswell" he muttered. "My step sister and mom live here only Susan works alot and isn't here most of the time" he asked. "And my old man split which is better for all of us" he muttered darkly making Harley shiver she wondered what kinds of things his father did to elicite that type of reaction.

"Oh that's good I guess" she responded not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah" Billy replied shortly before sniffing. "Listen, I gotta take a leak and then ill get the drugs" he stated before turning on his heel and making his way to the bathroom.

Harley stood awkwardly as she looked around the small house, she had just scanned around the kitchen when a clock struck sending chills down her body.

"Harley" a chilling voice called out making her scream as she ran from the living room in the direction Billy went.

"Billy! Billy, did you get them?" She called out banging on the closed door but suddenly the room was bathed in darkness as the lights began to flicker.

"You really are a disappointment I should of given you up when I had the chance" a familiar voice growled as Harley backed against the door.

"Mom" she gasped as she looked at the woman who sneered at her, their eyes meeting making Harley let out a shrill scream. What the hell was that?

......................................................................

Billy smirked as he went threw his draws his hands wrapped around the plastic bag.

"Gotcha" he smirked to himself before grabbing it and heading back into the living area. "Hey I got your-" he started but stopped when he saw Harley standing in the living room, her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Billy huffed before stalking towards her, he did not need her freaking out on him right now. "Hey wake up" he snapped at her clicking his fingers in her face. "I said wake up" he stated snapping at her before shaking her shoulder. What the fuck? Had this girl taken another drug or was she prone to fit's?

"If your gonna freak out on me then this is over" he fumed before shaking her again. She didn't respond and remained in the same position he found her in. "Hey-" he started once again but stepped back as the girl lifted into the air in a levitating trance making Billy step back in shock. The music pumping from the speakers sounded dull in his ears.

"What the hell" he murmured to himself just as Enter Sandman blasted through the speakers causing the girl to snap her eyes open and gasp. Her body fell to the floor just in time for Billy to reach out and catch her in his arms.

She gasped the pair looking at each other with wide eyes. Now what the fuck just happened?

#billy hargrove #stranger things #stranger things 4 #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove x reader

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thetheatermst · 1 year

Text

Holy Shit, It’s My Immortal Pt. 1

Cherry had been on her feet all day.

Jack had called in sick, some kind of stomach bug that was going around Arcadia. She wasn’t entirely convinced it wasn’t another manmade virus set loose upon them all. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time it happened. Definitely wouldn’t be the last, knowing her town’s luck.

What that meant, however, was since there was no school to act as a buffer, Cherry had to pull a double shift at Charlie’s Pizzeria & Arcade. That meant twelve hours walking around the pizzeria being hounded by screaming children while wearing that stupid and heavy cat costume. She was fairly sure that wearing that costume for that many hours with only a handful of fifteen minute breaks between it all was unethical, but she needed the money too much to complain. Didn’t mean she liked the work. Besides, even if she did complain, the Diamantes essentially owned the whole city between the three of them, so what was the point?

Go to school and get grades decent enough that her parents had one less thing to scream at her about. Go to work and make a decent pay so she has money to buy her games, repair her skateboard, and so she has an excuse to stay away from home that her parents can’t ignore. Go to the skatepark to try and unwind before going home to study, and then do it all again in the morning.

Today was a special day, however. The one day of the week her usual schedule changed.

Instead of going home or going to the skatepark, Cherry had instead made a stop at Riley’s house for a quick shower and to change out of her pizzeria uniform into something more her. She’d stashed a new shirt in her bag, a basic black with some white accent. What she really liked about the shirt was the white block on the chest where FUCK was clearly displayed. She thought the mood it set was fitting for today’s events. Other than that, it was simple faded jeans and her new red checkered vans.

Riley’s grandma held her up for a few moments with the usual grandmother ramblings about how she looked too skinny and needed to eat more, and tried to sit her down to eat some stew she’d been making. Usually Cherry was one to accept, it took a lot of will power to say no this time, and she was proud of herself for it. She had places to be and couldn’t risk being late because she was stuffing her face on some delicious grandmotherly cooking.

But she left, thanked her buddy for letting her use the shower, and was off, skating down the streets towards the downtown area.

She and Luka had already made a cover story if her folks tried asking this time. As far as they were aware, she was hanging out with him and his sisters. One of the things she loved about her best bro, her parents were too terrified of his dad to bother her if she was with Luka or his family.

The perks of having villains for your friends, she supposed.

It didn’t take long for the old office building to come into view, and she slowed down, bringing her board to a stop in front of the glass doors. Her heart was pittering and pattering away in her chest that she had come to know as a mix of excitement and anxiety towards whatever monstrosity they would read today.

Grabbing the handle, she gave a slight tug to find no resistance. It was unlocked. Grinning, she closed her eyes and walked in.

When the door echoed shut behind her, she opened her eyes once more.

As always, she was left reeling at the interior.

The lobby of the theater was twice as big as what she was sure the old office actually was. Faded carpets, bright overhead lights, and a golden hue to it all. It was easy to be taken aback, it felt like some kind of upscale rich persons theater just from a look, and every time she came in, it looked better and bigger than before.

Cherry still remembered clearly the first time she entered the place. It was a small, dingy lobby with old brown carpets and grey walls, nothing of note beyond a small snack cart, and three doors. Two that led to bathrooms, and the third—dark, heavy, double doors—that led into the theater itself.

Now it was something grand and glitzy. It made her feel important and fancy. It even had a proper concession counter with a seemingly endless supply of drinks and foods. Cherry wasn’t positive where it came from and who was making the popcorn, but it was always fresh and delicious, so she wasn’t going to complain.

Hooking her skateboard to the back of her bag, she made her way to the concession table and got to work. Grabbing herself the largest bucket provided, she filled it up to the top with popcorn and grabbed herself a diet soda while she was at it. Only once she was all settled in with her snacks did she walk to the double doors, pausing only momentarily to hear chatter on the other side.

Asahi and Briar must have already been there.

Her smile grew.

Pushing the doors open with her shoulders, she slipped in.

The theater itself was dimmer than the lobby, though it didn’t take long to adjust to that lower lighting. It was large and spacious, several seats spaced perfectly in closeness and distance to offer optimal leg and arm room. The table, as always, was situated at the front, and the large screen was ready to go.

Though this would be the fourth week they had been here, none of them had found any cameras. Not that Cherry could say any of them had been really looking.

At the front in their usual seats were Briar and Asahi, chatting back and forth about something. As she got closer, it became apparent that they were talking about werewolves and the logistics behind being able to transform as they do. An interesting topic.

Briar, unsurprisingly, was the first to notice as he raised his head to give her a welcoming nod. Asahi turned around next and smiled. “About time you showed up,” he called as she settled into her seat beside him. “Was starting to think we’d be doing this without you today.”

“Oh, shush, I had to work,” Cherry replied, sticking her tongue out as she set her drink and snacks down before rummaging through her bag. “But, here, before we get started.” She held out the book he’d given her last week.

“Did you like it?” Asahi asked, taking it from her and slipping it into his bag.

Cherry shrugged. “I couldn’t read it for shit,” she admitted without shame. It was a possibility that this would happen, after all. They could only understand each other within the theater because of its magic. There was no reason that magic would extend outside the theater. “But I looked up the plot online an’ it seemed interestin’.”

“We’ll need to get you an English version,” Asahi said, nodding to himself as if it were a decided fact. “Murakami is an amazing writer, and I do think you’d enjoy The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.”

“I’m not too big on reading, but I can give it a chance,” she said, waving him off as she diverted her attention to Briar—sparing only a momentary glance to see that there were no breasts today. They really needed to get a more efficient way to figure out what to call him by each week than “Does Briar have boobs or not”, she thought. “How’ve you been? Slay any cool monsters this week?”

Briar gave her a gentle smile and shook his head, “No. It has been a week of travel for me, the only excitement coming from would-be robbers and highwaymen,” he said with that low voice of his and a easy shrug. “Unfortunately for you, my life doesn’t feature a monster a week.”

Asahi snorted from between them at the joke.

Still, the Huntsman rose from his seat and made his way to where the letters were on the table. “I suppose now that we are all here, it would be best to get this rolling. So let’s see what our ‘generous host’ has in store for us today.” As he said that, he picked the letter up and tore it open. The envelope was dropped to the table and the unfolded parchment read.

Welcome back, my friends.

From beside her, Asahi scoffed. “Friends my ass. We’re employees at best,” he retorted. Briar’s lips quirked into a smile and Cherry snickered.

As this is our fourth story, I thought we might do something special to commemorate the time and effort you’ve put in to reading and commenting these stories. I know it has not always been a fun experience, but it is a worthwhile one. That is why, for this weeks story we are going to look at the story that everyone would know, and everyone loves. Today I offer you My Immortal.

My Immortal is a story written by XXXbloodyrists66XXX, AKA “Tara Gilesbie” in 2006, and it is perhaps the most notorious work of fanfiction to date, one that I dare say anyone who knows of fanfiction knows of, or at least has heard of. When someone thinks of a trollfic, this is the story that will likely come to mind.

Set in the Harry Potter universe, the story is as far from Harry Potter as possible and instead follows a cast who have been turned into caricatures of the 2000s goth subculture. The main character, Ebony, a seventeen-year-old ‘goth’ girl slash vampire slash witch who does nothing of value but is propped up as something amazing. She is by far the character that started the trend of Trollfics and is what people think of when they think of a Mary Sue.

While there is a constant debate over not only who the author is, as there have been a few who have claimed to have been Tara Gilesbie and much of the authorship is speculation. To this day she is effectively a ghost. More than that, there is, even now, much debate over if this story is, indeed, a trollfic, or a genuine attempt at fanfiction.

It is not my place to say if it is or isn’t. But I do hope that you three enjoy this one.

Briar placed the letter down and returned his attention to the two still seated. It was taking all of Cherry’s willpower to stay still as realization that they were actually reading the trollfic. She hadn’t expected they’d read this one. Not this soon, at least. Maybe in the future as some sort of season finale sort of deal. But here they were. Four stories in and already they were hitting the big leagues.

This day was shaping up to be something good.

Even as the lights grew dark and the screen grew bright, the excitement coursing through her just would not leave.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2!

Asahi rolled his eyes as he settled deeper into his seat. “Casual homophobia aside, if I remember right—or I don’t know if I’m even remembering or if this is the weird omniscient trivia bullshit of the theater—but Raven had her own fics on the site around the same time as when Gilesbie was posting this, yeah?” he asked, glancing to Briar and Cherry.

“Yeah,” Cherry nodded, adjusting her jumbo bucket on her lap. “It was just as ‘goffik’ as Tara’s writin’, but at least the spellin’ an’ grammar was better. But I wonder how long Raven will last. Beta readers an’ editors don’t last long in this kinda work.”

MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Debatable,” Cherry said, and frowned, “But the MCR obsession is actually pretty on par for 2006 mall goths. They were fuckin’ obsessed with the band. Like, sure, some of their music was fine an’ all, but they weren’t that amazing. I’m pretty sure that most of their fame came from being the goth icon of the time more than their quality of music.”

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!).

Asahi snorted a little and had to wipe the dribble of soda from his lip, while also using his sleeve to hide his smile. “Now that is an iconic and memed opening,” he said with a chuckle. “But man, that is one hell of a way to start a story, I’m kind of impressed. It’s definitely the sort of opener that you won’t forget.”

“Talk about a fuckin’ mouthful of a name, though,” Cherry laughed, doubling over and nearly spilling her popcorn. “An’ the apostrophe in ‘Darkness’, like are ya supposed to pronounce it differently? Is it said Dark Ness instead’a Darkness? Oh, man, I will not be able to take that seriously.”

Briar hummed, tapping a finger on the armrest of his seat. “Pale with long, dark hair and blue eyes… she actually does bear some resemblance to Amy Lee. Fair, I suppose, considering Amy Less is another ‘goth icon’ of the 2000s, and that the story’s title is based off of a Evanescence song.”

I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie.

Smile falling, Asahi made a face of disgust. “That’s some weird incestuous implications you’re making,” he pointed out. “I swear to God, if you have a brother-fucking kink, I’m out of here.”

I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.

“Vampires are often depicted with straight and white teeth. It goes along with the ‘ethereal beauty’ of their kind to make them more efficient hunters,” Briar pointed out, arching a brow at that line. “Unless you mean to say you have no fangs, which in turn would make you an ineffective vampire, akin to a declawed cat being an ineffective hunter.”

I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen).

Asahi frowned, “Hogwarts is in Scotland.”

“Why do people keep thinking Hogwarts is in England?” Cherry demanded, glaring at the screen, “Is it cause Harry is British that they think, oh, ‘I just guess that Hogwarts is just across the street, no way it’s in a different country!’?”

I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell)

“You’re a goth?” Asahi asked with wide eyes and mouth agape, his voice rising several pitches to accentuate his mockery. “Oh, I would have had no idea you were a mall goth had you not told me, it’s just impossible to tell.”

Briar raised a hand like a student in class, “She keeps saying goth, but you’ve both referred to her as ‘mall goths’,” he began when Cherry and Asahi diverted their attention to him. “What is the difference between the two?”

Cherry cackled a little, twisting in her seat so she could face Briar directly. “Well, I ain’t an expert, but in my experience, mall goths are basically the ‘posers’ of the goths. They’re the ones who think they’re goth cause they act edgy an’ buy their wardrobe from Hot Topic, an because they got a shrine to MCR.”

“That’s not entirely fair, though,” Asahi cut in, turning to look at Briar. “Goth is, in and of itself, a music-based subculture. So why wouldn’t ‘mall goths’ take inspiration from bands like My Chemical Romance and Evanescence when the music genre is where the aesthetic comes from?” he asked, moving to wedge his soda between his knees so he could move his hands as he spoke. “Goth is an aesthetic subculture based around gothic rock music. The issue with Way is that her concept of goth means you are obsessed with My Chemical Romance, you are a satanist—and while some goths do identify as pagan or satanist, that is not a prerequisite of the style—and that you must be depressed, suicidal, or practice some form of self-harm. Gilesbie pushes the belief that those aspects are the core of what being a goth is, when that is far from true. And it’s not just an issue with her, it was a common misconception ‘mall goths’ fostered during the era this was written. While those traits can be aspects of goth culture, that does not mean that it is what the aesthetic is.”

“Fair, fair,” Cherry conceded, holding her hands up in surrender, and just as quick she flicked her wrists to point at him, “But let’s not forget how Tara keeps mistakin’ emo an’ goth as being one an’ the same. They aren’t. Sure, there’s the occasional overlap, but they’re two different subcultures of the goth an’ punk music genres. Hell, a lot of the clothing styles and traits she talks about in this fic fall more in the emo aesthetic than the goth aesthetic!”

Briar frowned, looking at the two, taking a few moments to try and process and understand all that had just been dumped on him. “You two… know an awfully lot about this subject and it’s role in the story,” he said, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Face flushing and ears burning, Asahi ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… I may have read a Japanese translation of the story a few years ago. So I’m not quite going into this blind like I have the others.”

Cherry laughed, awkward and sharp, as she began brushing her fingers through one of her pigtails. “Same. There were a lot of dramatic readin’s an’ commentaries about this story a while back… an I may have read an’ listened to them a few times,” she confessed, and laughed again. “But, yeah, Ebony is more mall goth with a bit of emo mixed in than she is goth-goth. Which is valid. Hot Topic’s become more an anime merch store than anything, but if that’s your style then power to ya.”

and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

Asahi hummed, shaking his head, “She does a lot of descriptions like this, and she does wear a lot of black. Kind of funny, though,” he said, pausing as he skimmed over the text again. “She frequently talks about how much she hates pink because it’s a ‘preppy’ color, but she also frequently wears pink.”

“She’s a fuckin’ hypocrite is what she is,” Cherry explained and shrugged, tossing some popcorn into her mouth. “The outfit info dump gets old fast, an’ a lot of the wardrobes are typical 2000s mall goth stuff. It’s just a list of shit their wearin’ like they’re Hot Topic mannequins.”

“That sounds exhausting,” Briar murmured.

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about.

“You’re a vampire,” the Huntsman emphasized, waving his hand in the air as if to underline the word. “Why wouldn’t you be delighted to go outside and not worry about sunlight?”

A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

Asahi groaned, running a hand down his face. “I forgot that Gilesbie—and Way by extension—are feral on the ‘goths vs. preps’ stuff,” he muttered, and then turned to look to Briar. “You remember from the first story how Harry Potter is supposed to be the usual ‘good vs. evil’ schtick? This story essentially ‘goths vs. preps’.”

“With the occasional ‘poser’ bashing from both sides,” Cherry added cheerily. “Cause neither group likes a poser.”

Briar stared at the both of them, unable to understand.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

He looked from the two younger companions to the screen, his brows pressed together. “Draco Malfoy… the school bully throughout the entire series, the all around unpleasant Slytherin student constantly being a classist, racist jerk to others… that’s this Draco?”

Asahi nodded, “Except instead of being an asshole, or the lovable, comedic StarKid Musical version, we get… this,” he said, gesturing to the screen. “A moody, sensitive, sweet little goth boy who is depressed and suicidal. Because, why not?”

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

Briar, who had been taking a sip of his water, jolted in his seat in a way that he might as well have been given a gut punch as he spluttered. “I’m sorry?” he asked, as if he had misread the text. “Shyly? Draco. Malfoy. Shy? What?”

“I told you,” Asahi said with a shrug, leaning back and stealing a few pieces of popcorn from Cherry. All’s fair when she always did it to him. “He’s just a shy little goth boy. Not a royal asshole and bastard.”

“Come on, Briar,” Cherry chided with a disappointed look on her face, “You’ve read three of these stories so far, are ya really all that shocked that they’d bastardize the character in such a way?”

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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Briar sighed, shaking his head. Even with all they had read before this, something about this story kept his reeling. “So, in summary of this one chapter; all Ebony has done is describe her looks, flip off some random people, and ask a boy what was up,” he recited, and sighed. “Are all chapters going to be like this?”

Asahi shrugged, “More or less.”

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Cherry laughed, “Good? No. Not at all,” she said with a grin. “Was it hilarious? Yes. Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”

“You can take comfort in this; most of the chapters are fairly short,” Asahi said, reaching out to pat a hand on Briar’s shoulder. “It’s easy to digest, and the spelling and grammar is pretty good when compared Swansin and Brightmoon’s stories. This one is actually enjoyable in the insanity of it all.”

Briar groaned, sinking deeper on himself. “If you compare it to those two, then the bar is in the Nine Hells with how low you’ve set it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You’re only saying it’s enjoyable because the both of you have read this before. You know what to expect.”

“Doesn’t mean we won’t still flip out.”

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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“It’s a shame it got taken off Fanfiction.net, cause I’d love to see what sort of reviews people were leavin’ this fic,” Cherry confessed with a languid shrug. “This fic attracted loads of attention, granted mostly negative cause people are mean, but the first chapter was pretty inoffensive compared to the bullshit comin’.”

Asahi nodded in agreement. “Plus, this took place when the ‘gothic self-insert’ was pretty common in fanfiction, so you wouldn’t think people would be losing their minds over a story like that like they probably would now.”

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.

“But where did she get the bottle of blood from?” Cherry asked, leaning forward and resting her chin on her folded hands. “Cause like, she’s a vampire, so I can understand just havin’ blood bottles or packets on hand. Better than bitin’ random students. But where did she get the blood?”

Briar grimaced and shook his head, “I don’t think we want to know.”

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.

“Black ebony as opposed to… all the other colors of ebony,” Asahi said, making a face and shaking his head and picking up his notebook, making two tally marks on the blank page. “But that’s the second ‘pink’ she possesses. I’m making this into a tally for when she starts screaming about how awful a color pink is.”

Cherry hummed, “Honestly? I’m kinda diggin’ the aesthetic,” she said with a grin when the boys looked at her. “What? That is so the coffin I’d wanna be buried in when I die. Just add a skateboard engravin’ on the top an it’d be all set.”

I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

“Again, with the MCR obsession,” Asahi said, rolling his eyes. “But… I’ll admit that’s not a terrible look.”

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

“Oh, no,” Briar said in a monotone voice. “Another friend-insert. Wonder how long she will last, or will she suffer the same fate as the past ones.”

Cherry hummed, finger on her chin, and then shook her head, “I honestly don’t really remember what happens with her.”

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“See,” Asahi said, gesturing to the screen. “Mall goth.”

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

Briar frowned and raised a brow. “Yes, so?” he asked, trying to make sense of the excitement Willow had. “It was a two second conversation consisting solely of just saying hello while passing by each other. There really isn’t anything to get worked up over.”

“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Press X to doubt,” Cherry cackled, swatting Asahi’s hand away from her popcorn. Oh how the roles have reversed.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“She is so not into him, that’s why she’s flirting,” Asahi said, rolling his eyes as he spoke. “But talk about whiplash. One second yelling how she’s not into him, but as soon as he shows up she’s all over him. Is that normal for teen girls?”

“No,” Cherry answered. “It ain’t.”

“Guess what.” he said.

“You’re… transferring schools,” Briar guessed.

“His dad finally got arrested like the bastard deserves,” Cherry joined in, pointing a finger at the screen.

“You’re getting expelled for being an asshole,” Asahi offered.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

“Obviously it has to be second to My Chemical Romance, nothing is allowed to dethrone them in your heart,” Asahi muttered, but he had a little grin on his face and a soft chuckle to his voice. Just as quick it was gone and replaced by a critical look on his face. “This is seventh year, that’s around ‘95 or ‘96. I can get over American bands hanging out in Scotland, but Good Charlotte didn’t start touring for another four or five years.”

“Also, isn’t the Hogsmeade a wizarding-only village?” Briar asked, tilting his head at the thought. “A Muggle band performing there at all is strange. Unless she’s trying to imply that Good Charlotte is actually a wizard band.”

Cherry nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. “But here we see where she blurs the lines between what’s Goth, because GC ain’t goth by any means. They’re like a punk pop kind of emo. Same as MCR was at the time, now that I think of it,” She said and shrugged. “Like I said before, she doesn’t know the difference between goth an’ emo.”

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

“Because that is absolutely a gasp worthy moment,” Asahi rolled his eyes.

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

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Asahi cringed and slumped in his seat. “The quality difference between the author notes and the story itself are jarring. At least we know Raven is doing a good job of editing the story,” he murmured.

“I still wanna see those old reviews,” Cherry said.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front.

“All this corset stuff?” Briar asked, trying to just imagine that and falling up short.

Cherry made a face and shook her head. “Ripped fishnet leggin’s don’t even look that great in my opinion. It’s just.. meh.”

I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

“And this is something I really hate about this story. The glorification of self-harm,” Asahi growled, gesturing to the screen. “Hurting yourself is a serious thing, but this story acts like it’s normal and acceptable behavior, that it’s expected of you if you’re goth. It’s… it’s digusting!”

Cherry nodded, “Plus, not sure why you’d be depressed when you’re headin’ out to see one of your fav bands with a boy you like. That sounds like somethin’ you’d be happy for.”

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway.

Briar frowned, cocked his head to the side, and tried to make sense of that. “But you very clearly said you were wearing white foundation earlier. Now you wont because you’re ‘already pale’?”

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

“So, let’s play a game.” Cherry said, clapping her hands together. “Is she drinkin’ blood cause she A; needs to compensate for the lost blood after cutting herself. B; needs a pre-concert snack. Or C; this is just normal concert prep.”

Asahi rolled his eyes but grinned a little. “C. This is obviously what she does every time she goes out.”

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.

“Oh, yes, his flying car,” Asahi muttered and gave a little scoff. “Wizards and tech don’t mesh. Wizards are painfully out of touch with the average Muggle life and world. It makes Way’s obsession with Hot Topic and Muggle music weird if she wasn’t from a Muggle family but I digress. There are flying cars so it’s not completely asinine, but it’s a one-of-a-kind item enchanted by the Weasley father. Because he is fascinated with technology. Him even enchanting the car was illegal because enchanting Muggle technology is illegal.”

Cherry shrugged and slumped back in her seat. “Since when has legality ever mattered to the Malfoys?” she asked and waved a hand in the air. “But yeah, for as ‘above it all’ as they are, an’ for how much they look down on the Weasley’s for their interest in the Muggle world, Lucius would beat Draco’s ass if he even so much as implied he wanted a flyin’ car. So yeah, this makes no fuckin’ sense.”

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Again!” Asahi yelled, gesturing wildly at the screen. “A; an American Muggle band, so why the hell are they at Hogsmeade? B; they aren’t a goth band. Like Good Charlotte, they’re pop punk, they’re emo. And C; Simple Plan wasn’t a thing in ’96!”

Cherry sighed, sinking deeper into her seat, shaking her head in disappointment. “For someone who claims to be a goth, she really focuses on 2000s emo bands, an’ not the actual gothic rock bands that started the aesthetic. Most of them were still active when Harry Potter took place. Most of them are even from the UK!” she complained. “Would it kill her to namedrop The Cure, or Bauhaus? Or even Siouxsie and the Banshees? Those are the gothic rock bands that a fuckin’ ‘hardcore goth’ like Ebony woulda been gushin’ over!”

“I suppose it’s because she, for as much of a goth as she claims to be, doesn’t know of any bands outside of her echo chamber and ‘mall goth’ genre, as you two kept referring to her as,” Briar suggested.

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Nothing conveys depression quite like the exclamation point,” Asahi mocked.

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert.

“Again,” he continued, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying his best to not start seething. “The idea that Draco would own and operate a flying car is not only illegal, but a huge social taboo for him. He’d get disowned and humiliate his family, he’d never drive!”

On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

Cherry made a loud ‘boo’ as she kicked her feet up. “Just say you’re smokin’ weed, ya prude!”

Briar actually chuckled a little at that, ducking his head to hide the amused smile as he shook his head. “She has no qualms talking about and glorify cutting herself, but saying she smokes marijuana is a line she will not cross.”

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“I think it’s pretty obvious you don’t own the rights to a Good Charlotte song,” Asahi scoffed, rolling his eyes, and for a moment he tried to end it there, but the need to complain was too strong, so he kept going. ‘The song is “The Chronicles of Life and Death’, and wow, I can’t even say ‘The Chroncles’ without getting Swansin flashbacks,” he said, shuddering at the memory before dragging himself back on topic. “The song came out in 2004. 2004. Need I remind you the story takes place in 1995?”

“At this point, I’m convinced the bands are all secret time travelers,” Cherry shrugged, “it’s a stupid fuckin’ excuse, but it’s the most logical story-wise.”

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“I understand that they’re teenagers, but getting upset because someone you like has a crush on a celebrity is just silly,” Briar pointed out, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Finding someone’s voice attractive is normal. Having a crush on a bard is normal if the bard is any decent at playing.”

Cherry shrugged, “It’s like if I was datin’ someone, and while we were watchin’ TV I said that I thought Gal Gadot was crazy beautiful, an’ they got all sad and jelly. Like dude, it’s a celebrity crush, it doesn’t mean anything!”

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

Immediately, Cherry shuddered and gagged. “Fuck, I forgot about that weird bit,” she muttered, shaking her head. “It was weird enough when they were datin’ back in 04 cause she was like sixteen and he was almost thirty. But like Asahi keeps complaining, this takes place in 96 or something. Homegirl would have been nine. Fuckin’ nine!”

Briar took a deep breath and dug his nails into his seat. “That makes it worse,” he muttered, before placing his head in his hands, weaving fingers through loose strands of hair. “This is so much worse.”

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees.

“Because concert tees is very gothic,” Asahi said, rolling his eyes before slow clapping, “But yeah, nothing cooler than underage drinking at a concert. So doesn’t make you look like an idiot.”

Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

Briar placed his hands together and slowly pointed to the screen while keeping his hands together. “I do respect the dramatic use of ellipses. I can just hear the exaggerated dramatic pause in my head,” he said slowly, but there was the unsaid ‘but’ left in the air. “I do have to wonder why they crawled into the car that Draco very much should not have.”

“It’s cause they got so drunk they forgot how to walk,” Cherry said and shrugged. “They made stupid choices, drank too much, an’ now they’re makin’ even stupider choices going into the Forbidden Forest of all places.”

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!

“You heard it straight from the horses mouth,” Asahi announced, clapping his hands together, chuckling softly at the humor of it all. “Her name is now Enoby Dark’Ness blah-blah-blah Way.”

DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

Cherry threw a handful of popcorn at the screen. “Boo!” she yelled. “That’s a fuckin’ weak justification. I’d believe it, maybe, in an enemies to lovers fic where ya show Draco being his usual superiority complex asshole self. But all ya show us is a whiny wimp because he’s a simp!”

“Do they ever show how they knew each other before?” Asahi asked, paused, then shrugged, “I don’t actually remember, but I doubt it. It’s just a pitiful excuse to justify mischaracterization.

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“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Briar nodded in approval, “He’s taking you into the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night. It’s smart to be demanding answers for why he’s doing that. For all you know, he’s brought you out here to kill you.”

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“At least they didn’t crawl this time,” Cherry chuckled.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

“I’m trying to figure out if she’s mad because Malfoy brought her to this secluded forest in the hopes of having sex, or if it’s because he brought her to the Forbidden Forest,” Asahi mused, tapping a finger to his chin as he spoke. “If you remember, this forest is off-limits because there is a myriad of dangerous creatures that would have no qualms tearing her and Draco apart limb by limb and feasting on their innards. But at the same time, I don’t think Way has any sense of self-preservation.”

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

“Cause it’s so hard to stay mad in the face of so much depression and evil,” Cherry remarked, tossing some popcorn into her mouth and then jerking forward as a kernel got stuck in her throat. It took a few moments of coughing before it got dislodged. “Whoah. Almost died. That woulda been a sad way to go. Died choking on popcorn reading My Immortal.”

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately.

“So much passion,” Briar monotoned, crossing his legs and leaving his hands on his lap. “Just too much passion to handle, it’s extremely erotic.”

“So erotic it’d put Fifty Shades of Grey to shame,” Cherry agreed.

Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.

“That just doesn’t make any sense,” Asahi complained with a shake of his head, waving at the screen. “Never mind the weirdness that is ‘making out keenly’, he climbed on top of her and then made out with her against a tree? So he climbed on top of her, then immediately got off of her so they could make out against a tree?”

Cherry shrugged, “Be nice, she’s never written smut before.”

He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra.

Briar started to speak but stopped, bringing a hand to his mouth as he thought it over. “I’m… trying to figure out the logistics of her outfit. I would have thought because she was wearing a corset, or ‘corset stuff’ that she wouldn’t need to wear a bra.”

“Twenty bucks says that she doesn’t know how corsets work and thinks you still wear bras with them,” Cherry laughed.

Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm.

Asahi rolled his eyes, “She wrote a sex scene with as much feeling as an IKEA instruction manual,” he complained, shaking his head and slouching in his seat. “Even in the books I’ve read that just glossed over a sex scene with a few sentences manage to make it more erotic than this.”

Cherry snickered, covering her hand over her mouth, “Oh? Do you read porn?” she teased.

Face flushing, Asahi reached over to swat her, “I don’t,” he spluttered, face darkening even more as she continued to laugh. “Some of the literature I read have brief scenes. Nothing graphic! A few sentences so readers get the idea and then it moves on!”

And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

Briar broke into light laughter. “You… you can’t be serious,” he said staring up at the screen in disbelief, though he was grinning. “Now that is a line that I would be genuinely shocked if it didn’t gain any sort of… what’d you call it? Memes? Memes. Just, it’s so ridiculous.”

“Oh, it is iconic,” Cherry agreed, grinning widely.

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr!

“If nothing else, you have to respect the sheer amount of confidence Gilesbie has to believe the only reason she’s receiving negative feedback is because the ‘non-gothic crowd’ are reading and being haters because she’s goth,” Asahi said with a soft chuckle.

Cherry threw another handful of popcorn at the screen, “How dare you! Are you tryin’ to say I’m a prep? Bitch I am a skater girl, show some fuckin’ respect!” she shouted, but the smile on her face showed she took no offense.

Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!

“Ah, the ‘he did it because of a headache’ excuse, a classic,” Briar said, before shaking his head, his disappointment evident and immeasurable. “Your excuse is as flaccid as Draco’s cock after Dumbledore showed up.”

PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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“And we will never know if she actually got those five good reviews, but she certainly did update,” Asahi mused, and sagged. “She kept updating.”

Cherry frowned and drew her knees close to her chest. “I still wanna see the OG reviews,” she complained, “I hope the ones who left those good reviews did it cause they wanted to see how much further she’d keep this trash fire of a fic going. I’d have revied nicely just out of morbid curiosity.”

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

“Hopefully he allowed you two to dress yourselves first,” Briar mused, then thought it over and shrugged, “Though the walk of shame back to Hogwarts might be a fitting punishment.”

“But he’s not wrong, they sure as hell are fools,” Cherry pointed out.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.

“Fuck,” Asahi groaned, closing his eyes and giving a low exhale. “I forgot that ‘crying tears of blood’ was a thing in this story. And it happens so freaking much that it’s annoying. Not even a vampire thing, either.”

“It’s just a weird power goths apparently have,” Cherry frowned. “Tara thinks goths can cry blood. Which just… is very detrimental to one’s health.”

Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

“They don’t even know what happened and they’re already angry,” Briar hummed, shifting in his seat and tilting his head. “Maybe they all have headaches like Dumbledore.”

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

Asahi leaned close to Cherry, eyes staying on the screen, “You know how she said he’s mad because he had a headache? I think Gilesbie lied,” he said is a faux whisper, like it was some kind of horrible scandal. “I think he’s really mad because they were in the Forbidden Forest like a bunch of idiots.”

“The forest is off-limits for a reason. The two are technically adults by wizarding law so two consenting seventeen-year-olds scampering off to have some adult fun times isn’t too much of an issue,” Cherry agreed with a nod. “Them going into the Forbidden Forest despite being forbidden Yeah, no, people gonna be pissed.”

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.

Briar nodded, “You know what? I like this lady,” he said approvingly.

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

“I call bullshit,” Asahi yelled.

“Oh, it’s definitely bullshit,” Cherry agreed once again. “It was less about love an’ more about being horny idiots.”

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Cherry burst out into laughter. “Yes, because fuckin’ Snape is the one who’d be ‘okay, you can go, it’s fine’ and send them off without even a slap on the wrist. Snape! Not the stern an’ fair McGonagall, or the eccentric old fuck Dumbledore who forgives and forgets too easily,” she said, curling in on herself as she laughed.

“If this happened in canon, it’d be an actual miracle if Snape didn’t severely punish both and then deduct a good number of points from House Slytherin,” Asahi said with a disbelieving shake of his head.

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied.

“I don’t understand why home girl is so upset. If I got caught doing what she did, and got off scot-free, I’d be buzzing with joy an’ excitement,” Cherry said shaking her head. “Or maybe the problem is that she didn’t get off.”

“Gross,” Asahi said, pushing her away from himself.

I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.

“But… why?” Briar asked. “You have a school uniform you wear, and assuming you aren’t going to class, you’d be slipping into something to sleep in. A floor length lace dress and heels is not sleepwear.”

When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom,

“Completely ignoring the fact that Hogwarts dorm enchantments prevents boys from entering the girls dorms,” Asahi frowned. “Because it’d be inconvenient for the story. Though it is strange that no one minds Draco hanging out outside the girls’ bathroom.”

“It ain’t the girls bathroom, though. It’s Enoby’s bathroom.” Cherry corrected. “Cause they treat this like college dorms where only two people sleep in a room, but extra fancy because she has her own personal bathroom connected to it.”

and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte.

Asahi clapped his hands together, “And how to tell your audience you don’t actually know anything about the song beyond it’s name, without actually telling your audience that,” he announced before shaking his head. “That song is about dealing with fame. Not exactly a goth song.”

“I stand by my statement before. She needs to implement real gothic music. I wanna hear her talk about The Cure! Hell, I’ll take Nightwish, it’s metal instead of rock, but it’s still goth!”

I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there.

“So, you do know he’s not supposed to be there!” Asahi yelled. “What is with you and refusing to follow the rules?”

We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

“Don’t want to risk Dumbledore bursting in and ruining the mood, again,” Briar chuckled.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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“I still don’t know if she’s getting’ any good reviews, but I sure hope she was getting’ some praise for McGonagall and Dumbledore, just for the hilarity they provided,” Cherry said, kicking her feet lightly at the ground. “I swear to fuck, though, if someone is able to find all the original reviews, I’mma be readin’ each one!”

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

Briar made a face, “You just… spray painted…” he struggled. “Is that...?”

“It’s not normal,” Asahi said before Briar could finish, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s some spray cans for temporary hair colors, for like holidays or sports events. But spray painting your hair is not the same, and it’s really bad for your hair. Once the paint dries her hair will be solid and inflexible.”

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.

“Because Count Chocula is so gothic,” Asahi said, before grimacing and shaking his head, “But eating it with blood just sounds disgusting. And where are you even getting all this blood from? How is this okay?”

Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

“Because being a goth boy immediately makes it okay that he made you spill blood on yourself,” Asahi huffed before taking a sip of his soda. “It’s like if I dropped and broke something but decided not to yell at the one who caused me to drop it because she had a pretty face. It’s stupid.”

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

“That you were going down his face?” Briar asked, quirking a brow. “I mean, that seems awfully forward of you for a boy you only just met. But hey, you’ve already shown to be impulsive towards anything you think is gothic.”

He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

Cherry shook her head, “Yep. It’s Harry. Titular character Harry. Who is now a goth boy. Dude ditched his glasses for colored contacts and somehow got rid of a scar, cause you can just will those away,” she snarked, raising a hand to the screen before dropping it back down onto her lap. “Like everyone else in this trainwreck fic, he’s ditched his entire personality, too.”

He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.

“He’s seventeen,” Asahi pointed out, unimpressed. “I highly doubt his stubble is manly. It’s more likely to be patchy and embarrassing. But also, may I remind you that most of the students are English. Having a ‘sexy English accent’ is the norm.”

He looked exactly like Joel Madden.

Briar shook his head, “You could have said that at the start and have saved us all this infodump of information,” he chided. “At least Joel and Harry would be around the same age, or should be around the same age if it were not for her bullshit timeline.”

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“It’s fine, Ebony,” Cherry assured her with a grin as she rested her head on her folded hands. “Girls can get boners, too. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“Because Harry is shy,” Briar said and shook his head. “What is it about her that makes all the boys shy around her? She’s not all that attractive if her descriptions are anything to go by, and her personality is as foul as a cesspit. You would think the boys would want nothing to do with her.”

“It’s the power of a Mary Sue,” Asahi explained, crossing his arms over his chest. “You would think that no one would have wanted to be around Swansin, what with her abusive and murderous tendencies, but she was loved by all. Brightmoon was just inept, and yet people fawned over her. Way is no different.”

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

Cherry sighed, leaning forward, “I really wanna pick apart each line cause, what the fuck, but also… what the fuck?” she said, and reached up to tug lightly on a pigtail. “Tara just really does not like to use ‘said’ here. An’ it’s…well… ya see the results.”

“This is why any writing advice that tells you to use ‘said’ as little as possible annoys me. The emotional range of this exchange is all over the place,” Asahi complained, glaring at the screen. “He’s grumbling, and giggling, and whimpering, all in a span of a few sentences. While Way is just screaming and roaring like she’s angry.”

“I think it should also be mentioned that Ebony has been going to school with Harry for seven years now, and yet she doesn’t know him,” Briar pointed out, gesturing to the screen with a ‘does that even make sense?’ expression. “Considering what we know of Ebony so far, Harry and Draco’s history, and that Harry has somehow been nicknamed ‘Vampire’ by the student body for his proclivity for human blood… unless you have quite literally been living underneath a rock for these last seven years, it’s impossible for her to have not known of him.”

Cherry shrugged, “I think it’s more a point towards how self-absorbed Ebony is, ya know? He’s not in her immediate circle so he does not exist for as far as she cared.”

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

“You know, maybe instead of being horny idiots, you should actually go to class,” Asahi suggested with a lazy drawl. “You might learn something important.”

“I still can’t get over that she only now met Harry, who’s a blood-drinkin’ goth,” Cherry muttered, shaking her head as she spoke. “An’ he somehow lost his scar. How does that even happen?”

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

Asahi shook his head, “For the record, I want it to be known that I hate when authors do this,” he grumbled, gesturing to the screen. “Either name all your chapters, or leave them numbered. Don’t just name a few and call it good. It looks stupid that way!”

“If I remember right, the chapter title doesn’t even have anythin’ to do with the chapter itself,” Cherry mused.

“That makes it worse!”

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!

“Look, I’m sure you don’t mean anything bad by it, but you need to understand that the Gods already have a lot on their plate. They already gave you five reviews. Asking for fifteen is really pushing your luck,” Briar warned.

STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

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“You’re right. Evony is a computer game,” Cherry replied cheekily, earning snickers from her companions.

Shaking his head and smiling from the joke, Asahi diverted his attention back to the screen and let his expression cool back into something more critical. “I am sure we don’t have to say it, but Way is such a Mary Sue. Even to this day she’s used as the prime example of what one is like,” he said, raising a hand to gesticulate as he spoke. “It’s not because she’s ‘pretty’, or because she’s an author-insert. It’s because her very presence warps reality and canon. Despite this taking place in Harry Potter and not an AU, the plot isn’t the fight between good and evil, of the impending destruction Voldemort plans. It’s goths against preps. It’s because every character falls to Way’s feet, and that none of her supposed ‘flaws’ hamper her in any way like a flaw should. You say her being depressed is her flaw, but the only time we see her ‘depressed’ is in caricatures of what depression is like. You say being a Satanist is her flaw, but how is ones religious beliefs a flaw?”

Asahi folded his hands together to prop his chin atop his interlocked fingers. “In a world of fully fleshed out and rounded characters, Way is the center of it all, and for no believable reason. That is why she is a Mary Sue.”

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).

“Having black nail polish with Satanic sigils on them does not make or break your status as a Mary Sue,” Briar pointed out, paused, and then gave a little nod. “It does say that whoever did your nails has an impressive talent for it if they were able to paint Satanic signs on each nail.”

I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.

“And that, my friends, ain’t a typo,” Cherry announced with a giddy cackle. “Vampire is jealous of homegirl. Not Draco. Cause being goth and a guy automatically makes ya bi in this story. Which I dunno, is that a stereotype? Whatever. Basically the three just need to get their shit together and be poly like the cool kids.”

Asahi nodded in agreement. “Polygamy would solve the problem with so many love triangles.”

Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.

“Getting some mixed signals here,” Asahi said, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all. “They’re so passive and uninterested while they’re kissing, but they’re just excited to do the deed when it comes to stripping each other.”

“They’re just having a really boring conversation bout’ the croissants while feeling each other up,” Cherry explained.

He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Yes, actually,” Briar nodded, watching dispassionately. “As mentioned the first time in the Forbidden Forest, your sex scenes are written more like a step-by-step instruction manual than anything passionate. It comes off as incredibly dull."

Asahi nodded and cocked his head to the side. “The implications that she has a dick—excuse me, a ‘boy’s thing’—is rather interesting, though,” he mused. “That, combined with the erection comment earlier… would it be too soon to start to headcanon her as trans?”

“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm

“So hot. So raunchy,” Cherry drawled with a wry smile and a shake of her head.

when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

“I really think you should start going to class, because you clearly can’t count,” Asahi pointed out, nodding to the screen. “Vampire is one word. Not multiple.”

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“But why is she so angry? Vampire doesn’t automatically mean it’s referring to Harry. She’s a vampire, and vampires are a common figure in the goth subculture that it could mean anything. It could be referring to her, for all she knows,” Briar pointed out. “She only just met Vampire that day, there’s no reason for her to assume that he and Draco were ever a thing.”

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

Asahi gave a low whistle. “And there is the homophobia we’ve come to expect in these sorts of stories,” he said, shaking his head. “But of course she’s got to go with the biggest stereotype of all, that being gay means you get AIDs. Just… it’s hard to believe that people actually like her in this story when Way is such a bigot.”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.

“Not that any of us want to know how big his dick is, but you’d think that woulda been better mentioned during the IKEA sex scene,” Cherry said with a laugh.

I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Asahi started laughing, curling up on himself slightly as he shook his head, trying to hide the grin as he read that line over again. “I guess Way caught Dumbledore’s headache. Must be a bug or something going around,” he snickered.

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

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Cherry gestured furiously at herself, at her skateboard, at her hair, even at her vans, all the while glaring at the screen. “Skater. Girl.”

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

Asahi snickered, shaking his head. “Reminder; Malfoy is stark naked, probably still half-hard, and just barged into a classroom full of students and Snape,” he said, and took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes. “He is not getting out of here unscathed. He will be lucky if it’s only his reputation, as damaged as it already is by Way, that gets ruined.”

“Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B’loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly.

“Looks like Ebony ain’t the only one with weird apostrophe’s in her name,” Cherry noted before going into muttering under her breath different ways to pronounce ‘B’loody’.

Asahi, however, frowned. “Raven, you’re slipping up now. Unless you wanted Smith to be mocking Way, which I’m sure is what we want, the word you’re looking for is ‘understandably' or ‘understandingly’.”

She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on.

“The black hair, red eyed trope is growing old, fast,” Briar muttered.

Cherry smiled sympathetically at him, “Oh, it never dies out. It’s an iconic look, but man is it overused. Especially for edge lords.”

She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

“Whatever happened to being pale that you don’t need to wear white foundation, huh?” Asahi challenged, not that he’d get any response.

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

Briar took in a deep breath, placing a fist over his mouth as he digested this strain of bullshit. It took a few moments of mental debating and sorting before he closed his eyes and accepted this fate. “…It’s better than her dating Voldemort,” he decided.

It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger.

“Why would ya change her last name from something unique an’ fun to one of the most common an’ borin’ last names out there?” Cherry demanded. “Ya coulda at least changed her name to something cool and ‘gothic’ like… like Nightingale or somethin’!”

(Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor.)

Asahi shook his head, “I get that Slytherin has a bad rep, rightfully so, for being assholes and racists. Sure, they have some good alumni, like Merlin, but it’s most well known for churning out villains and assholes, like Voldemort and his followers. But there’s no association with Slytherin being Satanic, nor are students resorted into a different house because their beliefs changed.”

“Plus, havin’ only one magical parent wouldn’t make any more popular in Slytherin than if she stayed a muggle-born,” Cherry added. “Like Asahi said, Slytherin’s got a rep for being racist assholes to folks with muggle blood.”

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“That’s a good insult,” Cherry said approvingly.

“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Draco!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

There was a moment of silence, enough so that if there were crickets about they’d be heard chirping as the three took in the line.

Cherry broke it by breaking down into laughter. “Girl, how self-absorbed are ya?” she asked, wiping tears away. “You’re not even datin’ Vampire, how the fuck can he cheat on ya if you’re not datin?”

“Never mind the fact that you only just met today. Barely even enough time to call him a friend, let alone a boyfriend,” Asahi added with a grin.

I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me.

“And the random perspective switch,” Briar shook his head and frowned. “It would be nice if there was some notice. A line break or a new chapter. But no, we just get thrown right into it.”

I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony)

“And yet she has no problem being homophobic,” Asahi rolled his eyes. “This is less about them being bi and more that Gilesbie is the sort of homophobic weirdo who fetishizes bi men because she thinks guy-on-guy action is hot, but harbors bigotry towards real life gay and bi men. Like guys who watch lesbian porn but think lesbians are gross if he can’t watch them bang,”

“I don’t think we actually see her so much as flirt with other girls in this story,” Cherry added after a moment of thinking. “So, really, her status as ‘bi’ is just for show because it’s trendy.”0912

for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“Sadly, it’s a thing of the past and we won’t get our Goth/Prep Romeo and Juliet love story,” Cherry lamented.

“Aside from his parents being murdered and the drama from the books, do we ever find out what these supposedly ‘horrible problems’ he went through were that made him a mall goth?” Briar asked.

“But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed.

“Back to Way’s perspective,” Asahi remarked and then shook his head. “Not only is she a Mary Sue, but she is a prime example of toxicity. Heaven forbid her partner to have had relationships before her.”

I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.

“Where she lost her virility,” Cherry snickered and elbowed Asahi. “Your transgirl theory is makin’ more sense by the chapter!”

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!

“Now I don’t think you need to have intimate knowledge about the source material to write fanfiction, but I do believe you need to have a strong understanding of the characters your writing,” Asahi said with a frown.

dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers!

“I only ever read the first book, the my knowledge comes from movies only, an’ even I know that’s a shit explanation,” Cherry chided. “The only really out of character moment Dumbledore had was the meme-worthy moment where he aggressively demanded to know if Harry put his name in the goblet. Even then, that moment alone wouldn’t explain why Dumbledore’s like that.”

“He is the epitome of serene most of the time, even in the movies,” Briar agreed.

besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!

“Because a headache explains everything,” Asahi rolled his eyes.

and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

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“Snape is an overall unpleasant guy who seems to not like his students in general, but his attitude towards Potter is because he went to school with his parents. Potter’s dad, who he looks just like, was a huge bully to him, so of course the guy is gonna resent him for that. It’s human nature. Plus, he had a borderline obsessive crush on Potter’s mom,” Asahi explained narrowing his eyes at the screen for its weak explanation. “Snape may protect Potter from time to time, but it’s because of his love for the kids mom. Snape never liked Potter, and he doesn’t need crap excuses to justify it now.”

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Draco for cheating on me.

“Repeat after me,” Briar said, folding his hands together. “A past relationship from a time before you and him were dating is not cheating.”

“Girl is so insecure she can’t stand the thought that Draco might have liked someone before her,” Cherry said with a pitying shake of her head. “It’s sad, really.”

I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Voldemort!

“A few things to point out,” Asahi said, because of course there were. “Voldemort isn’t really human anymore, and something really interesting is that he doesn’t need a broom. He can sort of just fly without one because he’s that much more powerful than the others. But also; why isn’t he gothic in this? How do Potter and Granger fit more as being mall goths for her than Voldemort?”

“It’s because he’s not pretty enough,” Cherry answered.

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

“You know, I’m impressed she remembered this one,” Briar mused. “And she used it right. Sure, she’s a little off, it’s imperio, not imperius, but it’s impressive all the same.”

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him.

“And I take that back,” Briar frowned, shaking his head. “Crookshanks is a cat. Crucio is the curse. That kind of mistake is not quite as forgivable as Imperius.”

“She shouldn’t even be able to cast a spell!” Cherry complained. “She’s under the Imperius Curse! That’s bullshit!”

“That’s called Mary Sue powers,” Asahi said.

Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Not much of a sadist then. But I think feeling bad for hurting the Dark Lord is a lot more problematic than being aroused by torturing others,” Briar said with a frown.

“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!”

The three groaned.

“No! Not Ye Olde English, not again!” Asahi complained, slumping in his seat and holding his head between his hands. “Didn’t we suffer through that enough with Cullen?”

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.

“Interesting that you have some conflicting feelings about murder, not because it’s a morally wrong crime, but because he reminds you of your celebrity crush,” Briar mused, watching with mild interest. “That’s rather… shallow, of you.”

“Everything about Way is as shallow as a puddle,” Asahi said.

I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

The three groaned. The level of stupidity this character showed was astronomical. Maybe the two were dating before she and Draco got together? Gee, you think? It was ridiculous that she was only now figuring that out. But, as they had mentioned already, Ebony was such a self-absorbed character that it was little wonder it would take her so long to figure it out.

“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun.

Asahi started laughing. It started off as a sharp wheeze like a dying cat before breaking into chuckles. “Holy. Shit,” he breathed, shaking his head. “I… I can’t even. The sheer ridiculousness of Voldemort, a powerful wizard, giving a teenage girl a gun… it’s…holy shit,” he said, giggling and folding in on himself to try and control it.

It was infectious. Even Briar started chuckling as Cherry snickered, patting Asahi on the back. “If havin’ a flyin’ car is bad, how bad’s Mr. I Hate Muggles givin’ her a gun?”

“Really, really stupid!” Asahi laughed.

“No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”

Briar, still chuckling, shook his head. “How necessary even is this? If Voldemort can’t do this himself, which he’s failed in his last attempts, why would he enlist some random, mentally unstable, and unwilling girl instead of one of his Death Eaters? It just seems like a plan doomed to fail.”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

Asahi had only just begun to recover from his laughing fit, but one look at that line sent him spiraling into a whole new one.

“I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly.

“I don’t think ya know what telekinesis is, my dude,” Cherry said as she rubbed Asahi’s back. “Being able to move shit around with your mind doesn’t have anything to do with knowing her secrets. So ya might wanna direct that ‘dude-you’re-so-retarded’ look at a mirror.”

“And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

“Draco!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hah,” Asahi said, letting out one final wheeze before shaking his head. “Talk about whiplash.”

“Eh, it’s the norm now,” Cherry shrugged.

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Yes, I ‘geddit’,” Briar said, his face scrunched up into something bitter over having to say that. “But you need five people if you want a pentagram. So maybe learn your shapes and numbers.”

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

Asahi nodded, “I’d hope he wasn’t feeling okay after being accused of cheating because your girlfriend met your ex,” he said and glared at the screen. “Malfoy deserves better than her.”

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

Cherry gestured to the screen. “That is not an okay apology. That puts the blame on Draco. ‘I’m sorry I got mad, but I only did it cause I thought you were cheatin’’ is not okay. Holy shit, if anyone’s partner does shit like that, they need to get dumped ASAP. A good partner woulda apologized for getting mad, and also apologize for assumin’ shit after refusin’ to listen to them explain.”

“Way continues to be a toxic romantic partner,” Asahi said, shaking his head in disappointment.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Briar nodded, “That is kind of impressive, actually. Being able to walk while making out. Good synchronization and spatial awareness even when not watching where they’re going.”

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!

“And she continues to be homophobic, despite having multiple bi characters and past Drarry,” Asahi said, slow clapping, but there was a slight smile on his face. “The needlessly offensive attitude is actually kind of funny.”

“Well, in any case, I’m sure I’m not the only ‘gay fag’ who thinks this story is pretty great despite everything,” Briar said.

Asahi turned to her and gave him a quizzical gaze. “Oh, you’re gay?”

The Huntsman waved him off, “I think it’s more of a… pansexual? I’m not fully sure on all the terminology. But I like people regardless of what they do or don’t have, and with myself fluctuating between the sexes, it isn’t necessarily correct to say ‘straight’ or ‘gay’.”

“Sounds complicated,” Cherry hummed.

“Identities are always complicated.”

ps it turnz out b’loody mary isn’t a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

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Asahi turned his attention to the story and rolled his eyes, “You can’t switch houses after being sorted, that’s not a thing that happens,” he bit back, and then shook his head. “And Granger was never a Muggle. She was Muggle-Born. Because her parents were Muggles. Right now only one parent is a wizard, that makes her a half-blood. Like majority of the wizarding world.”

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

“Because you’d only ever rehearse if you were upset,” Briar hummed, “Got it.”

Cherry, however, was cringing. “Holy cow. That is an awful name,” she said, shaking her head. “But it really, really is accurate for the absolute cringe of the 2000s edgelords and mall goths.”

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.

“Because of course she is, and of course they do. I’m starting to see more and more similarities between this and Swansin,” Asahi said, rolling his eyes before looking to Cherry. “Care to do the honors?”

Cherry grinned, eyes sparkling with glee. “Why, thank ya,” she said, nodding to him and turning to the screen. “Like with every other band with the exception of Evanescence; Slipknot ain’t goth! They’re a metal band. Completely different musical genre than what the goth aesthetic is from.”

Briar snorted, “Do the 2000s goths—mall goths, sorry—always act like emo, metal, and goth are all the same genre?”

“I was a baby in 2006, I dunno for sure… but the scar they’ve left on the internet implies that yes, they do.”

The other people in the band are B’loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid.

“Okay. So many things to point out,” Asahi said with a light laugh. “She’s only just met Potter, so how is he in the band? Does that imply that the band is brand spanking new, or that he is fresh meat that’s recently joined the band?” he asked, looking between his companions but no response came. “The second; I know she means to call Weasley ‘Diablo’, but the fact that she instead named him after a circus prop is hilarious.”

Cherry shook her head, “I get the others in the band, but why’s Hagrid in the band? I know he’s the coolest dude on the block, but doesn’t make sense for him to join a student band.”

Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead.

“I get the feeling that happens a lot,” Briar hummed, then stopped to think about it. “Actually, going off of Asahi’s point earlier… when did this band get formed? Draco and Ebony only recently started hanging out. Like Asahi mentioned, she only met Vampire recently, too. It also seems impossible for her to know Ron and Hermione—”

“B’loody Mary an’ Diabolo,” Cherry corrected.

Briar nodded. “B’loody Mary and Diabolo,” he repeated, “without knowing of Vampire.”

Asahi shook his head and patted the Huntsman on the arm, “That’s the thing with these stories. As soon as you try to make sense of it, everything crumbles. Obviously Gilesbie forgot literally everything she’s already established for the sake of putting Way in a ‘gothic’ band.”

“A gothic band that takes zero inspiration from gothic music and all the inspiration from alt rock and nu metal!” Cherry added with indignation.

I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire

Asahi rolled his eyes, “Glad to know you’re such a loving and caring girlfriend that your boyfriend cutting himself is such an inconsequential thing to you,” he groused, and then his scowl depend, “And when was it established that he was a vampire? Never. She’s still throwing in random things while ignoring what’s already been established!”

too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak)

“She wore crosses already, that’s already a thing that happened in this story and nothing happened to her while wearing them,” Briar pointed out before sighing. “Would it kill her to keep track of what she’s done and hasn’t?”

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

Cherry let out an offended gasp, “That movie is so not depressing! Except for the end, I did shed a few tears over Emily’s fate. But it’s not depressing, it’s a fun, macabre movie with catchy music!”

“I’m more interested in how he’s watching it when technology doesn’t work in the caste due to Hogwarts magical interference,” Asahi said as he nodded to the screen. “He shouldn’t be able to watch anything.”

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

“I don’t really believe you, but okay,” Cherry said.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“I thought today they were writing music, not stealing music from other bands,” Briar said. “Can’t even keep track of what you’ve done a few lines back.”

“Ebony! Are you OK?” B’loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily.

“I don’t know, crying seems to be pretty normal for you,” Asahi pointed out with a lazy roll of the wrist. “Can’t blame her for wanting to know if you’re crying because you’re ‘goth’ or because you’re genuinely upset.”

And then I said. “Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don’t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!” I burst into tears.

“She was already cryin’, but okay,” Cherry said and leaned back into her seat, “Though, ya know, seeing Voldy at all outght to be way more concernin’ than him tryin’ to blackmail Ebony. What with him being the greatest wizard criminal and so awful people dare not say his name.”

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

“Was he just hiding and watching the whole time?” Asahi asked, narrowing his eyes. “That’s… more than a little creepy.”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

“Yes, actually,” Briar confirmed. “If we look at canon-Draco, his swearing and stammering is out of character. The wizarding world has their own form of curses that don’t utilize muggle swears. But the Draco of this story? He’s a whiny little brat with no spine, and this reaction is out of character for the ‘sensitive goth boy’.”

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

“Now that, crying and running away, is in character for the My Immortal Draco,” the Huntsman nodded.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“Girl is really doubling down on the whole headache bit, huh,” Cherry mused. “I mean, props for keeping it goin’, I guess.”

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)

“Well, can’t argue with that logic,” Asahi admitted. “Crying is, in fact, not swearing. Though I’m not sure how you ‘wisely�� cry.

“Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”

Asahi tilted his head to the side, “They found him awfully…suspiciously quick, considering it has only been an hour since he ran off,” he said slowly, conspiracies forming in his head. “Not to mention, just at the start of this chapter, Gilesbie emphasized that he couldn’t die from a slit wrist, only by crosses and, weirdly enough, steaks. Either Gilesbie isn’t reading what she’s writing, or there’s something more going on.”

“I wish there was a deeper mystery to it all, but ya know it’s the first option, which is boring,” Cherry complained.

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus!

“Like vampires killing themselves?” Briar asked with an arched brow. “Because, sure. That’s deadly serious, a real-world issue. Certainly not something stupid.”

sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

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“You know what, the ‘fangz’ thing is starting to grow on me. It’s kind of cute,” Asahi admitted with a soft smile, but quickly shook that away. “Her spelling, however? Worsening. It hurts my brain to read and decipher.”

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself.

“Come on, Raven. Right outta the ballpark an’ ya missed one!” Cherry chastised, then thought better of it and shook her head. “Actually, nah. If the author notes are anything to go by, then missin’ a word here an’ there ain’t to bad considering all the other words you’re probs fixin’.”

“Raven is truly a godsend for this story,” Asahi praised.

Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

“Considering the context of what’s going on; that is a student of his—her boyfriend—just supposedly killed himself and Ebony responded by fleeing in tears, I doubt anyone would think he had perverted intentions if he chased after her,” Briar pointed out. “They’d see him as a teacher wanting to make sure another student doesn’t commit suicide. Which is noble.”

“Exactly,” Cherry agreed. “For all he knows, the girl’s running off to do something awful. Plus, I know it ain’t especially stated in the movies or books, but the man is gay. I’m sure the staff and students know that.”

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.

Asahi started snickering, “I love how the way it’s written implies that her wrists got all over her clothes, as if she’s got numerous wrists she can’t control, and so she had to pop them off her arms before getting into the bath.”

Tapping her foot impatiently against the floor, Cherry scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. “Okay, Linkin Park is a little more forgivable. The band technically started in 96, but there’s no fuckin’ way they were popular in Scotland at the time,” she admitted, but her scowl didn’t ease up. “But they still aren’t goth! Linkin Park, an I love this band, they’re alt, rap, an electronic rock, with a bit of metal. Just—for fuck’s sake look up actual gothic bands of the 90s and namedrop them! It ain’t hard! Ya got the internet at your fingertips!”

I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.

“I’m assuming the lethality of a steak is that you’re allergic, like how vampires are to garlic,” Briar suggested, and shrugged, “Though plunging a steak into your heart will be difficult.”

I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.

“Because nothing says depression like dolling yourself up for no reason,” Asahi said, then squinted at the text. “Wait, is that what she wears to bed? That can’t be comfortable.”

I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!

“You heard it here. He was masticatin’ to it,” Cherry said with snickers.

“She really doesn’t know what that word means, does she?” Briar asked, and shook his head, “Who am I kidding, of course she doesn’t. But I wonder where she got the idea that Snape and Lupin were friends from. They knew each other from school, yes, but they weren’t friends. Lupin was friends with James Potter, Snape’s bully that he still holds a vendetta against. Safe to say Snape isn’t too fond of Lupin, either.”

They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it.

“One, that is one fugly towel,” Cherry said, holding up her index finger, and slowly added her middle to the mix, “Two; girl was already dressed, what’s she coverin’ up for? We just suffered through her ramblin’ about what she was wearin’.”

Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Suspiciously convenient,” Asahi said, narrowing his eyes. “Was he just waiting outside the door for his chance to burst into the bathroom?”

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.

Briar put a hand over his mouth to hide the growing smile as he shook his head. “I am loving this trans representation. All we got from the other stories was TwilightRova’s mistreatment of Jasper.”

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.

“A gazillion times…” Asahi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “How many bullets does she think a gun holds? Has she ever even fired a gun before? Because I’m willing to bet none hit their mark.”

Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“Man, why the fuck is everyone running into this girl’s bathroom?” Cherry asked, placing her hands on her hips. “That’s just really inconvenient for her, girl is just trying to take the worlds most depressing an’ fully clothed bath an everyone keeps botherin’ her.”

“Let’s not forget that the Slytherin area is underground,” Asahi reminded them. “So… take that bit as you will to try and make sense of the logistics of this scene.”

“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“Hagrid is neither a student nor is he little,” Briar said, shaking his head. “He’s a half-giant and was expelled decades ago.”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“And that’s relevant…how?” Cherry asked.

“It’s not,” Asahi answered, arms crossed over his chest.

“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Briar sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m lost,” he confessed, shaking his head. “I literally do not understand what they’re talking about anymore.”

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly.

“Raven’s really starting to slack off on the job,” Asahi mused. “Triumelephantly, really?”

“The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

“Really excitin’ stuff in there, too,” Cherry nodded. “Ya got a teenage student sitting in a bath fully clothed while tryin’ to kill herself with a steak. Valuable blackmail material.”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

“No one’s really doing anything,” Asahi pointed out. “That’s the problem, no one’s doing anything with the exception of Lupin fondling a clock.”

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him.

Cherry shook her head, “I’m convinced that Tara smoked the Devil’s Lettuce before writin’ this chapter,” she muttered. “Really the only explanation that makes any of this weirdness make sense.”

I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“I’d say bite him,” Briar said, raising his hand as he spoke. “But it might be hard because she’s inside and he’s outside, so she’ll have to work to get that bite in.”

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

Cherry tugged on her hair, “Seriously? You’re choosin’ a rapper over actual gothic rock?” she yelled. “What do you against The Cure!?”

“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Why would Snape, who is associated with the Death Eaters, be afraid because someone is ‘connected to Satan’?” Asahi questioned, frowning at the screen. “And more than that, Gilesbie keeps insisting satanism is a Slytherin trait. Did she forget that Snape was a Slytherin student, that he’s currently the head of their House? By her logic he should also be a fucking satanist!”

“Because I LOVE HER!”

Cherry lurched to the side and started gagging.

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!

“Your commentary on this ‘issue’ might hold more water if you didn’t make your character a legal adult in her story’s canon, and if you were consistent on if Hagrid was a student or an adult,” Asahi retaliated, patting Cherry on the back as she remained limp over the arm of her chair.

how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!

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“Still makes even less sense. Diggory would be dead at this point,” Asahi continued, “he died when Potter was in his fourth year, and since Potter is the same age as Way, he died three years ago.”

“Plus, he’s not once been mentioned in this story,” Briar added, “you truly expect anyone to believe it was Cedric who confessed his love? No. As usual, your writing and backtracks make no sense.”

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

Cherry slowly pulled herself together and resituated herself on her seat. “Oh. Huh. Must’a been one of them deleted scenes that are oh so common in books an’ fics,” she said sarcastically.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“Raven,” Asahi called out, a frown firmly on place. “Please, get some coffee, take a breather, recharge or whatever you need to do before you get back to editing. This is getting bad.”

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!”

“Scar’s don’t just change shape,” Briar pointed out with a frown, tracing a scar on his arm through the fabric of his sleeve as he spoke. “They’re permanent reminders, they don’t just shift and change from a square to a star, or a lightning bolt to a pentagram.”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back.

“Okay, I can accept magic for why his scar changed shape,” Briar conceded, but he didn’t look happy about it. “But what was the point of changing it if you were just going to cover it up with makeup? Sounds like a waste of effort.”

“Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me!

Asahi sighed, shaking his head, “I’ll admit she got that right. Potter’s scar does hurt from time to time, usually in response to Voldemort bullshit and it represents their connection,” he said, glaring at the screen, “But this just leaves the story open to debate on just how much Harry Potter lore Gilesbie does and doesn’t know, and how much she’s lying about not knowing.”

then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

“Hm. Didn’t know Voldemort was kinky like that, but aight,” Cherry muttered, shaking her head.

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists.

“You would think that’d take a few minutes to recover from what with all the magic,” Briar pointed out. “Some slit wrists shouldn’t take too much time to patch up with a wave of a wand and a few magic words."

"It’s also not a ‘nurse’s office’,” Asahi added, “It’s a medical wing. Hogwarts gets some interesting injuries, as you might expect with a bunch of kids and teens learning magic and flying on brooms, you need an entire wing to house and tend to them all.”

Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.

“Debatable, but very unlikely that Way falls into that category, but I digress,” Asahi shrugged. “St. Mungo is a magical hospital, not a mental facility. I don’t think they can treat pedophilia there. I’m also not sure if they qualify as pedophiles when in the canon of the world, Way is an adult by wizard standards.”

Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Ebony returning to the classic, but, wow,” Cherry wheezed out a laugh. “Dumbledore constipated the cideo camera. Man. Wow. Yeah, that’ll solve everythin’ for sure!”

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“If the man is about to be sent away under suspicion of pedophilia, do you seriously think he’d be allowed to wander the school unsupervised?” Asahi questioned. “He wouldn’t. He certainly wouldn’t be allowed to give flowers to someone.”

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped.

“And yet you sleep in a hot pink coffin,” Cherry reminded her. “Which I will steal if you don’t want it anymore. That thing is lit.”

Briar frowned, “Did she already forget that Hagrid is a part of her goth band, and that he confessed to be a satanist? I don’t think that qualifies as him being a prep. Then again, she is so wishy-washy she’s likely already forgotten.”

Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

“No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“Ignoring that she wears pink and her reason for hating pink is just out of the blue… I kind of like her comeback,” Asahi said with a little grin. “It’s stupid and funny and hard to hate. Which describes this fic in general perfectly.”

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

“No,” Briar shook his head. “You still spelt it wrong.”

“It was also a bath scene, not a shower scene,” Asahi corrected, and shrugged, “Though… who knows, there probably is a market out there for ‘goth girl self-harms with a steak in a bathtub, fully clothed’. People are freaks, after all.”

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I’m not surprised she’d recognize an MCR song immediately,” Cherry shrugged. “The girl basically worships them, she’s the type that’d hear a single note an’ know exactly the song it’s frome.”

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”

Asahi sighed, dropping his head into his hands, “I wish I could say we’re making this shit up, but we’re not. Gilesbie certainly is, though.”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“A black flame is black. Talk about redundancy,” Cherry scoffed. “But, sure, that proves he ain’t a prep. All ya need to be goth is black fire.”

“OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?”

“Your boyfriend, unfortunately for him. He really does deserve better,” Briar explained, looking at the screen like a disappointed parent. “He’s also Voldemort’s… I don’t know, something. Voldemort has him in bondage, though. We’ve been over this already, Ebony. Keep up.”

“Not sure how Voldemort got him, or why Dumbledore assumed he self-deleted, doubt it will ever be explained, either,” Cherry said, weaving her fingers through her pigtails, “Which is probably for the best. Her explanation would be absolute horseshit.”

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“It’s fire,” Asahi deadpanned. “Were you expecting to see something?”

“U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“Leave the MSTing to the pros, Dumbledore,” Asahi said with a frown, not that they themselves were pros. “But… that joke was just cringe.”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled.

Briar ran a hand down his face. “He wasn’t even talking to you, you idiot.”

dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!”

“Hagrid was given the mentality of a tantrum throwin’ kid in this, I see,” Cherry commented, “Dunno why he’s so pissed at Dumbledore since the guy wasn’t even talkin’ to him, an said nothing that was mean or offensive.”

“It’s because the author is an idiot,” Asahi said.

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“This girl changes clothes more than anyone I know!” Cherry yelled. “Ya just changed into this outfit before all this shit started, an’ now your changing it again?”

“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly

Asahi loudly groaned before making a gagging noise. “I swear to God, do not desecrate my language, stick to butchering your own,” he growled, before shuddering. “She is definitely the type who pronounces it kowai.”

“Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.

“I guess when you’re out of bottled blood ya gotta drink your own,” Cherry mused, and tapped a finger to her chin, “This count as self-cannibalism?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it does,” Briar confirmed.

I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.

“I’ve heard of Care of Magical Creatures, but Hair of Magical Magic Creatures is a new one,” Briar mused. “Not sure I want to know what goes on in this class.”

He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

“So, I guess Hufflepuffs are just the blood bank,” Asahi mused, shaking his head, “Though, just a reminder, Potter is not a vampire. He’s just a freak that drinks blood.”

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos.

“They probably shop at the same place,” Briar suggested.

Cherry nodded, “Yeah, I doubt there’s too many places in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley to buy colored contacts at.”

Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“While I’m sure the Hufflepuff is glad to get out, they need to pick their timing better,” Asahi stated, watching in disapproval. “They’re in the middle of class, unresolved sexual tension ignored, this is not the time or place for sex.”

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Can’t argue with her remarks, as before, I like this one,” Briar said with proud smile. “She described the two perfectly, they’re horny simpletons. Curious that she’d let Vampire get away with draining the Hufflepuff as he did.”

Asahi nodded, “She’s dealing with enough right now that she just didn’t have the energy to handle that,” he said, and shrugged. “After all, she’s not teaching Care of Magical Creatures along with Transfiguration now that Hagrid is gone.”

“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

“Takes two to tangle, you and Potter both jumped on each other, you’re equally at fault,” Asahi said. “You’re just as guilty of trying to have public sex as him.”

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

Cherry let out a low whistle. “Either I’m losin’ my mind or Tara decided to repeat the scene from earlier this chapter, word-for-word at that,” she said, reading it over again. “I get if you thought it’d be better as a cliffhanger, but in that case ya woulda deleted it from the start of the chapter.”

“Raven has clearly stopped paying attention to the story,” Asahi said in disappointment, “At least the spelling isn’t abysmal yet, but it’s still disheartening.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

“No,” Briar corrected, “You are supposed to write this. She edits it.”

“So this basically says that Raven didn’t read the chapter at all, or if she did it was a very cursory glance if anything,” Asahi mused, hand to his mouth to cover the growing smirk. “But… this is when the drama truly gets good.”

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

To that he made a ‘ding-ding-ding’ sound, pointing to the screen. “And here, my lady and gentleman, is the start of the Gilesbie-Raven fight, a real life drama spat between the two that bleeds into the story. It is when this story goes from generic badfic to juicy trollfic.”

The lights began to brighten as the screen darkened. Their cue for a break. Cherry was the first on her feet, stretching her limbs, feeling her joints pop and crack as she moved around, giddy with excitement and laughter.

“So,” Asahi spoke up, his attention on Briar. “As the only one here who hasn’t had previous experience with this story… what are your thoughts on it so far?”

Briar watched them with a measured look, taking his time as he rose and adjusted his belt and the dagger sheathed to it. “It was…okay,” he decided after a few moments, and at their burning gazes, continued. “It is a far cry from decent literature, but… it is not the worst. In ways this has been the only truly enjoyable story we’ve read. In others… it is a mind-boggling mess. I can’t say I hate it, but I do not like it.”

Which was fair.

Cherry shrugged, “I mean, I get it. The love for this fic is more out of the icon it is an’ the memes it has produces, if I’m being honest,” she said, and her grin returned. “Like, ‘What the hell are ya doin’ ya motherfuckers’!” she shouted, using her best impression of an old mans voice before she broke down into laughter.

“Or,” Asahi said, clearing his throat and following through with the fakest, highest pitched girly voice she ever heard him say. “Hi! My name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, and I have long ebony black hair!” he stopped to cough, clearly not able to do that voice for more than a few words at a time.

Briar shook his head, but Cherry saw him smiling. “While you two continue to mess around, I’m going to tend to my own needs,” which she thought was a funny way to say he needed a piss, but it was what it was.

She and Asahi could just spend the remainder of break spitting out quotes to each other and laughing while he was off doing what he needed to do.

This was by far the most fun she’s had at the theater.

#Harry Potter #My Immortal #ebony dark'ness dementia raven way #Draco Malfoy #Kurosaki Asahi #Cherry Bolton #Briar Makiir #MST #MST3k Style Riffing #Fanfiction #yes there is a side character from Cherrys world named Riley #No he is not me

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cienfleurx · 2 years

Text

𝐖𝐄'𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓? ᵇᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿ ᵛᵉʳ

✑ CHARACTERS: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani.

✑ HEADCANON: them when the fake relationship between the both of you ended.

✑ GENRE: angst. senior au.

✑ WARNING: explicit language. hurt / no comfort. salty y/n. not proofread. kinda messy dialogues and descriptions.

✑ SYNOPSIS: ran haitani thought that maybe he just missed your chaotic self in his life, but it felt too far-fetched, especially when he can feel his heart ripping apart at the sight of you calling for his younger brother’s name instead of him.

RAN HAITANI

How does one forget a man like Ran Haitani? From his mauve locks, tall strature, whimsical demeanor, and mischievious purple irises; how does one erase their memory from someone like him? Because if there is an answer - anyone, someone - then you beg them to provide it to you as you have been desperate in attempting to get him off your mind for a long time.

“This fucking gold rush,” you blew a huff, your bangs flying out their way from your sticky forehead due to the scorching afternoon heat. “God, I should have never said that - hell, I should have never agreed myself from his proposition in the first place. And now I'm the one who suffers while he's out there getting Kanae back and probably fucking her on the abandoned building right now," you ramble, frustration building up inside you knowing all too well how that old college premise works for those seniors.

“Goddamn, chill woman.” Rindou chuckled, tossing the strawberry milk on your way. “He’s not fucking her. He’s taking her out on a date.”

“Like that fucking help?” you hissed, wanting to wipe off the shit-eating grin on his face. “Bitch.”

It’s been months, probably around six months, ever since Ran ended your faux relationship with him. And just like any other girls who are head over heels for him, you cannot seem to grasp the truth and forget about his existence. Especially now that you got to experienced beforehand how it feels to be with him, it only made the process of moving on to be difficult on your part. From how he treats you like a real woman, how he kisses your lips so natural, and how he simply brags you to the other students oftentimes; you recalled everything he has done to the bones with butterflies stirring in your tummy.

He was just such an ideal man despite the fact that others have referred to him as a fuckboy.

Ran Haitani is a gentleman on his own despite his history of flirting with a lot of woman; that is what you have noticed of him throughout the years of crushing on his existence since freshman. I mean, you can't really blame him, can you?. With that beauty of his, he can get any woman he wants. He’s making them desire for him more, and you are not really an exception from that given that you still cannot erase his image out of your mind.

Despite the fact that he has now reclaimed his former girlfriend back. His very own real girlfriend; the one he likes, Ran Haitani still lives on your mind rent-free. Every now and then, you would think of him and his current girl - what they do, how he treats her, and how you wished you were in her shoes.

It was infuriating to say the least, especially now when you spot the woman you detest from the corner of your eyes clinging to the arms of the older mauve-haired that you liked so much.

“Oh, [Name] and Rindou?”

You almost sneered in annoyance when she approached your way.

Kanae, the cheerio captain, herself. Hot, cool, smart, and talented as fuck. God, the more you think about her, the more you realize how much you suck. You fucking lack in the golden aspects of what Ran wanted. Mayhaps, that was the reason why he still did not come to like you at the end even though you were given a chance to pursue him during your artificial relationship.

“I see, both of you are having a date as well?” That’s cute!” your cherry lips fought tooth and nail to keep from scoffing. Regardless of how dismissive you are of her attitude, it seemed like she still manages to have that affect on you that makes you want to bitch on her or something. Good thing, Rindou was there to keep you on leash as he slipped his calloused hands on your sweaty palms, which were itching to shove the woman out of the way.

It may seemed like a subtle move from anyone’s eyes, but it did not escape Ran’s vision. His purple orbs bore straight into how his younger brother's palms embraced your small ones, almost as if he was squeezing them for comfort. Something about the sight bothered his innards, feeling his stomach tighten for some reason as he shift his body from uneasiness.

“Ran?”

The mauve-haired snapped out of his trance, eyes unconsciously locking with yours as his mind buffered a bit.

“You listening?”

“Sorry, babe. What was it again?”

Kanae simply rolled her eyes, pouting. “I said, your younger brother seemed to like [Name], and I wanna help him so I’m kinda like suggesting if we can have a double date with them, you good with that right?”

Rindou? Liking [Name]? Ran scowled inwardly, wondering where did Kanae even got that idea. You see, the thing between Rindou and [Name] is nothing out of romantic. They were friends of the same class; pure platonic, and all of this wouldn’t even happen if he hadn’t introduced the younger Haitani to you.

And besides, his brother is not interested in any girl of his batch right now, let alone relationships.

Ran was about to decline the offer and say it isn’t like that between the two youngers when someone had already interrupt him into it.

“Good idea,” Rindou blurted out of the blue, catching two individuals on the scene off guard. “Not a double date, though. We’ll be going on our own.” Ran had his lilac orbs widen as he focused them on his younger brother, while you, who were already disturbed by the presence of a certain someone, suddenly stiffened from your place, your heart hammering on your chest from what you'd just heard.

Rindou was never one to voiced out his feelings. So naturally, it had you startled. However, it seemed that this was not the case when the comparable butterflies that you were feeling for Ran began resurfacing themselves in your tummy.

“. . . Rin?”

“What? It’s not like you two are still together, right?” Rindou shrugged, his other arm casually wrapping around your shoulder.

Honestly, if it were one of those times when Rindou teases you just to get a reaction out of you, you'd probably brush him off and shut his existence off with a pinch of his skin on his stomach. After all, you never know if this person is intentionally messing with you or is just trying to upset Ran, who had his brows wrinkled in confusion; feeling slightly annoyed at whatever words were spewing from the younger Haitani's lips.

“Don’t speak as if you like her, Rin.” Ran’s tone became authoritative. “I know you only think about her as a friend. Stop whatever prank you are pulling.”

“He’s right. Quit that shit off -” before you could even finish you sentence, Rindou had already clamped his palm across your mouth to stop it from running off. He shot you a look, and you saw a trace of softness whirling inside them; something that made the irritation inside you fade into obscurity at one point.

“I don’t know about you, brother, but I am serious. Feelings can change at the span of six months.” Rindou said, and each syllable that slipped past his lips made Ran feel something in his chest, particularly his heart. It felt like someone was clenching it out of nowhere and stabbing him with shards of what seemed to be your broken heart that he had caused when he advised you to stay away from him for the time being as he didn't want Kanae to suspect the both of them once the goal of your fake relationship with him was successful - once Kanae and him get back together.

“And, it’s not really that hard to like her. It just happened naturally while I was replacing you as her friend.”

The next following days became a blur for Ran Haitani.

At that time, Ran genuinely thought Rindou was fooling around to annoy him, however, it seemed to only appear as reassurance to himself when his once playful lilac orbs caught sight of your figure waiting down by the bleachers, looking all dolled up like the usual amidst the boisterous crowded seats. Only this time, your presence wasn't meant for him, but rather for his younger brother, who seemed to be scoring a lot of three-pointers lately while flashing grins on your way.

You thought that it was better this way. Ran was happy with his relationship with Kanae, and Rindou seemed to like you enough to bother you on a daily basis of having dates with him. You thought that this is how things should have been from the beginning. You began to be satisifed. It felt as if you were gradually removing Ran from your world. And, as strange as it may sound, it seems like his younger brother was the one who had the answer all along about how to forget him for good.

Ran will be forgotten, and you will move on. Yes, that’s how it should have been.

However, unbeknownst to your oblivious self shouting Rindou’s name among the crowds, Ran Haitani had his amethyst orbs fix on your figure with a glint of yearning and desire that he wished it was his name that you were chanting at the loud stadium instead of his younger brother. Just like the old times, just like when they were together before. Crazy, it is. Ran had this thought that maybe he just missed you with him. That maybe he is just missing your chaotic self in his life. But it felt too far-fetched, especially when he can feel his heart ripping apart into shreds at the thought that maybe his feelings for you was something more; that maybe you are not just a friend. That maybe Rindou was right.

You were not that hard to like, as he indeed felt his heart skipping a beat in those times when he pretended a relationship with you. He was just blind. Blinded by his own ego of chasing a woman he thought he loved until he completely lost sight of who was more important to him.

FINISHED: sano manjiro. sanzu haruchiyo. ran haitani.

#bonten #bonten angst #ran haitani #haitani ran #ran x reader #ran x you #ran x y/n #x reader #angst #sanzu angst #rindou angst #mikey angst #ran angst #haitani brothers #rindou x reader #rindou x you #rindou x y/n #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers angst

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suna-reversed · 3 years

Note

Hello :)

Sukuna. fluff. Pretty please.

Could you write something about sukuna falling for itadori's best friend. You can throw some angst in there too because I am a masochist❤️

Sukuna x F! Reader

oh god, this turned purely self indulgent halfway through. low key thinking of turning this into a series to give you the angst you deserve.

A/N: (reader is Itadori’s senior and is 18) (loosely inspired by the song “me and my husband” by mitski)

“And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”

——-

- You had been one of the few poor senior students who had been victim to what had been Itadori’s “elevator pitch” for more people to join the occult club early back in high school. [the said “elevator pitch” being him jumping out at random people with a white bedsheet over his head saying “boo” as he handed you the club form]

- You didn't end up joining the club. But you somehow did end up getting joined at the hip with the chaotic mess under the white sheet.

- Whether it was you two rushing to the theatre to watch Jennifer Lawrence’s new movie, or going to a revolving sushi place [only to get pocky from a nearby vending machine instead because revolving sushi is apparently expensive], Itadori Yuuji had become a comforting and very important presence in your life.

- So of course when he suddenly dropped out of your life, being the worried friend you were, you decided to poke around a little only to find out that he was...dead?

- Maybe a few months down the line, you would’ve started to slightly recover from the tragic news you had just gotten. Instead, what you got was your supposedly dead best friend popping up days later to tell you that he ate a finger and now he was the vessel for some centuries old curse,,,

- Um yeah...safe to say that Yuji did not expect you to go into the fit of emotions that you did [boy had the audacity to call you dramatic for fainting and then crying while hugging him once you gained consciousness]

- some time passed and Yuji and you didn’t see each other much with him practically training to be the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Still, simply happy to have him back alive, your brain managed to convinced itself that everything was still the same.

- And it was when he’d sneak out a day or two from his heavy schedule and you’d be back to your normal routine of watching movies, stuffing your face with snacks, getting your face licked by the mouth on Yuji’s hand…

- ,,,wait what

- The first time the curse had made contact with you was simply out of annoyance of why the stupid brat even took the time to see someone as mundane as you so often.

- His plan was to simply scare you into leaving, knowing it would cause the brat pain.

- So he grabbed the opportunity when Yuji moved forward to brush off some popcorn dust on the side of your mouth, not only licking the side of your face but also being successful in slightly grazing his teeth against your tender skin.

- Yuji had mentioned that being a vessel had caused some weird physical “abnormalities” for him. you didn’t understand it back then but at least knowing that had sort of prepared you for such an instance.

- So imagine the curse’s surprise [and an even further growing annoyance] when your eyes barely widened for a second before you burst into laugher,

“Didn’t you train your dog to not bite?”

- by now, Yuji had jumped 5 feet away from you and was still halfway through his string of apologies, but upon hearing your reaction, he mused on your fake calm while letting out a chuckle himself,

- “Guess I’ve got to get a leash for him”

- By this point, the ever so indifferent curse had taken two teenagers talking about him like a mere annoyance as a personal challenge.

- And that’s how it started.

- He’d come out every now and then, licking your fingers as Yuji passed you something or making lewd remarks on anything and everything that you ever started a conversation about.

- But you and Yuji barely paid him attention and it was an understatement to say that it infuriated the living hell out of him.

- Particularly you, who wouldn’t even be annoyed or sarcastic about his tactics anymore. Instead, treating him like a friend who was simply joining you and the brat to hang out.

- He hated it. Hated how bright your laugh was. Hated how you made them stop every time you saw a stray animal just so you could pet it. Hated how your skin was as soft as a cloud and how you sometimes smelled like cherry blossoms. He’d kill you in an instant if he could ugh.

- it was a weekend and Yuji and you had been watching a movie, even though Yuji was barely paying attention. You knew he was tired as his large frame slumped over your shoulder. Pulling the blanket up to his face, you once again felt the wet feeling of the assaults you had grown familiar with on the side of your hand.

- “You could’ve just asked for a pocky if you wanted one, no need to lick it off my fingers you grumpy little thing”, you laughed as you stood up to go to the bathroom

- that snapped the final string.

- Coming back into your living room, you wondered if Yuji had somehow gotten up in his sleep and managed to draw weird black lines over himself all in the span of 5 minutes.

- ‘Yuji, what the fuck?’

- ‘Well well, now who’s acting like a grumpy little thing’

- The deep voice sent rumbles down your spine and you knew in an instant what had happened.

- Even though your breath hitched in your throat and your body begged for you to run as fast away as you can, you held your ground as you simply tilted your head at the curse

- “Well, I’d like my best friend back if you don’t mind.”

- You saw the smirk on Sukuna’s face falter for just a second before he crossed the space between the couch and you.

- Now as strong of a front as you managed to hold up until now, watching something like that stride straight towards you would have had even the strongest of sorcerers shitting bricks.

- Instinctively, you took a few steps backwards, but he simply continued to close the distance between the two of you until you were backed up against the wall.

- You flinched as he slammed a hand right next to your head and he seemed to gain immense satisfaction from that as he looked down at your startled face with a smirk plastered on his tattooed face.

- Sukuna was sure that you’d be begging for his mercy any second now. His smirk widened and he was ready to mock your pleas as he saw you open your mouth to say something,

- “ ...so much for a damn pocky.”

- All those other times you had caught the curse off guard were nothing compared to the “partially-confused partially-baffled” expression that he held on his face now. It almost made him look human. Almost.

- You didn’t realise just how long you were holding his gaze until Yuji took back control and apologized like a million times over, reassuring you that he would’ve never let you get hurt.

- The curse didn’t show up for almost a week after that. And while you were grateful for not having to wash off your hands or face 14 times a day, you somehow felt anxious about its sudden disappearance.

- All those worries were thrown out the window as he once again showed up while Yuji was passed out on the couch after a particularly tough session with Gojo sensei.

- Looking at the curse, you felt anger more than anything, how could he just drop out on you with no warning and then show up in the middle of your living room- ...wait a second, why the hell are you mad at a literal curse for not telling you he was taking a mental health break or whatever it was that he was doing?

- While you sorted out through these conflicting thoughts in your mind, the curse seemed to be going through a similar crisis.

- Having woken up in the brat’s fragile human body with no warning whatsoever, Sukuna wasn’t in the mood to see your face so soon again. He didn’t know why your physical presence unsettled him so much. All he knew was that he hated it. Even more now that he knew what you looked like all scared and small compared to his vessel’s towering build, and how you smelled even sweeter than what he had tasted, and how despite all that you still had the courage to stand up to someone as dangerous as him. Ugh, disgusting.

- “The stupid brat passed out.”

- Such a simple statement caused you to snap your head up at him. But he didn’t wait for your reaction as he somehow managed to plop down on the couch while still looking graceful. Picking up the half eaten box of pocky, he warily pulled one out, eyeing it as if it was a poisoned dagger before breaking off a piece and placing it on his tongue.

- “This is what you would risk your life for, brat?”

- He turned his head slightly to look at you still frozen in place, staring at him with that doe eyed look that made his chest burn a little. Isn’t this what he wanted all along?

- “Are you simply going to stand there and gawk? I don’t bite-...well, not unless you ask me to.”

- He knew that would set you right back to your usual self,

- “...maybe we do need to get a leash after all.”

- Sukuna internally grinned as he saw you move to the other side of the couch, ready to hear whatever more of the snarky comeback that you’d have (not that he was anticipating it, it was just the better alternative to being gaped at. Or so he told himself)

- “You ate the non chocolate covered part of the pocky by the way-”

- “As if a layer of this disgusting brown substance can make the rotten stick taste bette-”

- “Well aren’t sticks all you had to eat in yOuR TiME anyways?”-

—-

- You somehow managed to fall asleep after the bickering, proceeding to sit in silence after you told him to not bother you while you tried to read. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were a little disappointed when he actually didn’t. Instead, he sat on the couch with a slight smirk still plastered on his face, continuing to simply gaze at you. your heart did lunges every time you slyly looked up from your book to take a peak at him. you wondered how many ways he had come up with to kill you so far.

- On the other hand, the curse sat idly, watching you while his thoughts rumbled in his mind. Maybe killing you can be pushed off the agenda for now. There are much better ways to hurt the brat anyways aren't there? Perhaps he could use one of these brownish covered sticks to-...what is he thinking?

- He ultimately deems it stupid brat’s humane emotions and sheer stupidity that must be interfering with his thoughts.

- A loud sneeze snaps him out of his daze as he sees you slumped against a pillow, your book falling off your lap. And then he does something that he immediately decides that he would pretend to have not done for the rest of his existence. Luckily, the brat takes back control right after he does it anyways.

- But that thought slips his mind as he finds himself replaying the serene look on your face as he gently pulled the book out of your hands, and how his hands shook a little as you nuzzled your nose into the fabric of the blanket that he pulled over you. How could you have felt so calm around him?

#jujutsu kaisen #jjkxreader #jujutsukaisenxreader #yujiitadori #sukuna fluff #sukuna x reader #itadori x reader #sukuna #sukuna headcanons #jjk headcanons #sukuna smut #gojo saturo x reader #jujutsu Kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #sukunafluff

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lovelybarnes · 3 years

Text

baby blue- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, tony stark bruce banner, steve rogers, sam wilson warnings: child bucky, language, this is long. why is this so long about: requested by @cherry-season (apparently can't tag you)! bucky turns into a baby/toddler and is clingy a/n: okay so i know virtually nothing about three-year-olds. can you tell? thank you so much for requesting!! I had so much fun writing this <333

[@tylard-blog1]

bucky’s day wasn’t particularly fantastic to begin with.

he was already exhausted when he woke up in the early lights of the morning, his nightmares had kept him up all night-- which you theorized was due to the mission the day before that took place in one of the same hydra bases bucky had been held in. you had frowned when you realized it the day of, turning your attention to bucky and making sure he was okay with it because if he wasn’t, you would make sure someone else took care of it. he had insisted it was fine, even though the next night proved him wrong. you had done what you could, running your fingers through his hair and humming lightly until you fell asleep and he refused to wake you up, resigning himself to a sleepless night.

his morning started with his flesh arm reaching out to feel your side of the bed, hoping to find your soft, warm skin to pull you closer, but instead being met with the unkind sheets that missed the gentleness of your body. he had frowned when he realized you had already left for a meeting with some important hotshot in space with carol (you couldn’t find a better excuse to go get breakfast at your favorite alien restaurant with your favorite aliens) and wouldn’t be back for a solid few hours too long. groaning, and with no real reason to stay in bed for any longer without the excuse of getting to feel you for a few more hours, he dragged himself out of bed.

it didn’t get much better from there, because he was greeted with the sight of sam eating the last bowl of the last box of cereal in the whole damn tower because everyone rejected to go grocery shopping. since bucky refused to eat any of the frozen breakfasts tony loved so much and the stark kid swore were “the best thing ever,” he grunted at sam and walked away without eating, knowing he’d regret it later when his stomach would growl and you would immediately know he skipped breakfast.

for some unknown reason, tony had found out about bucky’s lack of things to do, and with a few winks and manipulative large-worded engineering phrases, convinced him to join him in the lab, which bucky had only really been able to see through the clear glass that separated the lab from the rest of the tower, and from the occasions where he would take food and drinks to you while you locked yourself away inside, building something alongside tony.

being inside, so close to the various machines and objects bucky cant begin to figure out the purpose of, his memories of being in school and at the top of his math and engineering classes bubble to the surface, filling him with the pride he remembers having every day at school. the thought that he could probably understand everything if you or tony explained it to him passes through his mind and urges him to ask tony to do just that, but tony beats him before he can get the chance.

bruce is eyeing them wearily from the other side of the lab, attention mostly on the test tubes in front of him. he gives bucky a smile when he comes in, but seems to ignore him for the most part until tony shows bucky to bruce’s work station, pointing out a blue liquid in a test tube marked TESTING. bruce’s neck snaps to them when tony open his big mouth, “you know, y/n was actually supposed to test something out for me today,” tony begins innocently, a suggestion laced in his words that bucky catches but decides to ignore because of the high he feels from understanding the equations scribbled on the clear glass, “do you know where she is?”

bucky narrows his eyes at him, then looks up at the clock, realizing it’s still a while before you get back, “not even on earth,” he recipes blandly, slyly sneaking a glance at the liquid for any indications of what it could be.

tony sighs dramatically, his shoulders sagging, “oh no, how do i test this now?” bruce shoots tony a warning glance that is blatantly ignored.

bucky’s shrugging before he can help it, the reminder that since you were going to do it, what could be the harm if he did? “i could do it.”

tony claps, “great!” he gestures to a door behind him, “please go in there to sign non-disclosure agreements and wash your hands.”

bucky’s shoved inside before he can fully understand the implications of his stupid offer.

the thought of asking the basic questions he should have asked before he agreed to test an unidentified liquid comes to bucky nearly an hour later, when the small vial of weird blue liquid sits in front of him, waiting to be drunk. tony and bruce sit in chairs a couple of feet away, clipboards in both of their hands, and interested expressions settled on their features.

“what does this do again?” he asks, squinting at the vial that he doesn’t notice tony isn’t looking at, furrowing his eyebrows when tony waves him off, “something super smart. no side effects or anything.” bucky’s eyes flit down to the little vial again, before they nearly bug out of his head at the humongous laser that is rolled into the room, “what the hell is that.”

“ah,” tony grins, bouncing from his seat to stand next to his invention proudly, “this is what you’re testing out.” bucky cocks his head at the man, “i thought i was drinking blue water. y/n was going to drink blue water.” tony shakes his head, adjusting some dials on the machine, “yeah, no, it was this. pretty sure i told you.”

“you didn’t-” bruce is looking at tony in concern, about to tell him to slow down so bucky has a chance to think all this through again and maybe ask if there is any chance the laser will melt him, when tony clicks a large red button and a bright white light clouds bucky’s vision just as he sees the clock on the exact same time he saw an hour ago, realizing the clock in the billion-dollar lab is broken, and you’re probably getting home any second.

“tony!” he hears bruce yell before his vision goes dark.

it’s only a second until he can pry open his eyes again, a hand curling into a fist, ready to pound stark into tomorrow when he can suddenly feel the nails of his hand digging into his palm. the surprising feeling of it where his vibranium arm should be forces him to look down at a small arm, fully skin and thin. he looks around, noticing his surroundings suddenly have grown very large around him, and the sound of his voice is higher when he tries to speak again.

“what the f-” he mumbles, cutting himself off when a sudden memory of his ma yelling at him to wash his mouth out if he wants to talk like that floods his mind, and he stares down at himself, eyebrows furrowing when he spots his short stature and the tiny hands and feet that look up at him. realization floods him like a wave, raising his chin at the two, tall, gobsmacked men in front of. “was that supposed to happen?” bruce asks quietly, nodding slowly when tony shakes his head, “no.”

there’s a light knock at the door, your hand pushing it open before anyone can stop you, and your tired face peeks in, a glowing smiling adorning your face and your eyes searching for your boyfriend, “hey, do you guys know where bucky is-” your voice cuts through the stunned silence, pausing when you catch the little boy’s eye. at first, you stare at him, your eyebrows pulling together as you get a good look at the familiar cerulean of his eyes and scan the clothing you’d seen on bucky before. for a second, everything is silent, bucky’s eyes are wide and staring as yours bore into them, searching for something you’re nearly touching until you gasp, “bucky?” you choke, reaching for him when he nods, his legs already trying to reach you as fast as they possibly can but they buckle. bucky realizes just then how old he must be now. “oh, baby,” you murmur, gathering him up in your arms before he can fall to the hard ground of the lab. “what the hell did you idiots do to my boyfriend?” you demand, turning to the two scientists who are going over tony’s notes.

bruce glances at tony, tilting his head at him as if to say him. you roll your eyes, not having any more information than when you asked, “tony?” you growl, walking over to the man, not missing the way little bucky’s hand grabs onto your shirt.

“it didn’t- that wasn’t supposed to happen,” tony defends weakly, a lazy shrug pulling at his shoulders. your eyes flash with velvet red, and, without moving a finger, tony’s pulled in front of you, wrapped in red swirls bucky can’t help but gawk at.

“fix it.” you order. tony nods, pursing his lips, “we’ll do that.” bruce looks a little taken aback, looking up from tony’s scribbles and equations. “i don’t think it’ll last more than a day,” he offers helpfully, “whatever it was tony was trying to do wasn’t either.”

bucky’s eyes start to droop, which he assumes is an effect of the sleepless night he just had on his infant body, something that usually wouldn’t affect him in his one-hundred-and-six-year-old self. he hums when he realizes the irony, leaning his head against the welcoming crook of your neck and catching your attention. you turn to him for a moment, softening a little before turning back to tony and glaring at him, “fix it.”

steve catches you when you walk out of the lab, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head when he spots the toddler in your arms, “holy shit, that looks exactly like bucky,” he breathes, scanning the dark mussed-up hair and stepping back when bucky opens his eyes. from next to him, sam looks from bucky to you, “did you two have a kid and not tell anyone, because this-”

“is bucky. that’s bucky.” you interrupt, looking at the toddler, “tony messed up with something and… this happened, i don’t completely… bucky’s a baby.”

steve raises an eyebrow, squinting at his best friend, “ha,” he laughs, “wow, he looks exactly like his pictures. he must be about three years old.” bucky blinks at him. “his ma said he was chatting up a storm at that age, though,” steve informs, looking back up at you. sam grins, “has he said anything? i kinda want to hear if he still sounds old.” bucky frowns at him, his pout deepening when sam bursts into laughter, “his grumpy face is the same!”

you look at your boyfriend, tilting your head and smiling a little when you realize he’s right, “you’re cute,” you coo now that you get a good look at him, “you’re so cute,” you murmur, poking his nose with your finger. bucky can’t help the blush that comes to his cheeks. but he slaps away sam’s fingers, scowling at him, “no.” he argues, “no.”

sam frowns, “no old man voice.”

“i hate you,” bucky says to sam, and you laugh, “i think we should leave for now. i need to figure out what will make three-year-old bucky not as grumpy.” sam looks at bucky’s furrowed brows and the same two little lines between them, his eyes flickering back up to yours, “i think that may just be a bucky thing.”

you bring bucky to the living room, sitting him down at the edge of the couch and crouching in front of him, watching him and his little crossed arms, bottom lip jutted out against his own will. bucky isn’t used to the emotional control of a child who’s three and can’t control the frustration that’s coursing through him at the moment. the only thing he knows for sure is that he doesn’t want you to leave him again.

“bucky?” you start, looking deep into the wide blue eyes that let you know it is bucky you’re speaking to. “what do you want to do? are you hungry? d’you want to sleep?” bucky shakes his head stubbornly at you, “i want tony to fix this.”

you sigh, “i know, baby. i do too, but until he finds a cure to this, you’re gonna stay small for a couple more hours.” he pouts at that, and you smooth your thumb over his cheek, “no pouting. we can do whatever you want, buck.”

just as he’s about to reject any idea you have, his stomach rumbles loudly, directing your attention to the arms that guiltily cover up his middle. “bucky... did you eat breakfast today?” you query, a lecturing tone sneaking into your words. “sam ate my cereal,” bucky grumbles, crossing his arms.

“bucky!” you exclaim, standing up to turn to the kitchen, “that’s no excuse. i told you you needed to eat--” you’re barely three steps into the kitchen when you hear the pattering of his feet towards you, grubby hands pawing at your legs.

“don’t leave,” he whines, hugging your ankles and sitting down on the floor, “you left all morning,” he mumbles, smushing his cheeks against your calf.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, bending over to brush away the hair that falls over his eyes. “c’mere,” you murmur, reaching down to pick him up again and bounce him on your hip while you head to the kitchen. “what do you want to eat?” bucky thinks about it for a minute, before smiling, “i want pizza and ice cream.” you frown at him, “i don’t think three-year-olds can eat that. actually, i don’t think anyone should.”

after consulting google on what three-year-olds should eat, you have bucky’s head resting on your shoulder, refusing to let you put him down even as you made him the mac and cheese he had agreed to, still a little upset over the fact you wouldn’t let him eat all the other things he wanted. the only time he let you not carry him was when he was eating, still insisting you sit right next to him to watch as he smeared cheese all over tony’s expensive table.

“okay,” you whisper breathlessly after watching him eat his third bowl of the meal, “i think that’s good.” you shove the dirty dishes in the sink, washing bucky’s hands and wiping at him cheeks with a warm cloth to get the mess he managed to create off. “did you forget how to eat?” you wonder aloud when you finally fnish cleaning him up, watching his small shoulders shrug.

“what do you want to do now? anything you want,” you propose.

“i want you,” he says, reaching his stubby arms out, “cuddles. ‘m sleepy,” he yawns, making grabby hands at you when you take too long to pick him up. “bucky,” you chuckle, complying with him and bringing him into your chest, where he leans his head on your shoulder. “you sure you don’t want to play or something? you don’t want to…” you trail off, trying to think of what three-year-olds do, “walk or read or something?”

bucky grunts in your ear, his eyelids already closing again, “cuddles,” he repeats, balling your shirt up in his little hands.

“okay,” you sigh, bouncing him gently while you walk to your shared bedroom. you pick up a stuffed animal you brought for bucky from one of your most recent missions, “did you sleep last night? is that why you’re so tired?” bucky hums, cuddling further into your chest when you lay down with him on top of you. you hand him the little dog plush, pressing a kiss to his head when he takes the gift, hugging it with you. “honey, i’m sorry,” you frown, gently threading your fingers through his short hair, humming the same song bucky sings to you when you can’t get to sleep. it doesn’t take long to lull him into the calmness of rest.

you only wake up when the weight on you is suddenly multiplied, completely taking your breath away, “bucky!-” you exclaim, rolling from underneath him to meet his closed eyes. you shake your head with a light laugh, drawing a strand of hair behind his ear before you press your lips to his cheeks, snuggling in with him again, “sweet dreams, darling,” you murmur, placing the stuffed animal he dropped on your dresser.

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delicrieux · 3 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results).

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be.

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children.

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim.

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do.

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point!

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus.

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping.

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex.

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him.

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red.

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!!

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling.

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!”

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you.

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage.

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her.

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement.

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.”

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

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kaitsawamura · 3 years

Text

would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮ Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮ Rating: M (for mature) ⎮ WC: 5525 ⎮ Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader ⎮ Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint) ⎮ AO3

NOTES⎮ Thanks to @spacelabrathor for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome for fueling my Kiri fever dreams. Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp. Hope y'all enjoy! (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar. But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it. They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself. Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer. You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet. He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally… and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time. It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it. Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people. You’d have the whole place to yourselves. Like that should mean something. Which it did. It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach. Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago. Neither of you had made a move. Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with. It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on. But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency. The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye. Not for the obvious reasons. Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse.

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk. But he was just like that you had quickly discovered. He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch. He knew when to push and when to back off. He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn. The kids flocked to him. Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him. It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts. The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there? You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly. It isn’t big. You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses. Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous. But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time. Clean, straight lines and lots of windows. In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door. Is that a pool ? Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro. The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth. You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out! I mean, that would have been fine, of course. I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.” He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool. “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!” You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym. I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely. You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here. The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves. But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins. You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago. And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs. No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side. Shit. His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you. He has to know . Doesn’t he? From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive. Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard. You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping. It’s so green . There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna. Violets, tulips. Huge hosta plants. And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!” He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it? I guess it is pretty nice, huh?” You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile. You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.” You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world. After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet. “What are you thinking for today?” The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat. You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?” You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan. The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips. He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick. You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet. He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display. Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri. I just don’t want to wear you out . You’re a Pro Hero. You’re on the job a lot more than I am. Plus, you’re getting kind of old. Is that a little gray I see coming in?” Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair. There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted. Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.” Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw. His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip. His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment. You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity. He looks as if he’s going to devour you. You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body. A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up. The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin. The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen. You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat. The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym. You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment. When you could give extra attention with extra time.

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you. You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk. Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit. Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist. It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk. Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk. It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills. The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy. You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well. You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven. His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice. You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out. It surges through you like pure energy.

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook. This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt. Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet. He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?” He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach. You were fast, but still not always fast enough. You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in. Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top. You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over. “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard. You good?”

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable. He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late. You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today. Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back. But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core. He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours. You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before… “Fuuu-.” It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open. You’re seeing stars. Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again. You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun. You snort, rolling your eyes. Why does he still look so fucking good? The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl. His hair has curl to it? You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes. You like the curl. “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?” It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms. “I’m thinking not. Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.” You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows. Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.

“Is that any way to treat your student, Red Riot?” You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll. He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space. You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth. “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher. I’m not that much older than you. Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?” He’s so fucking close. This is getting dangerous. Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance. Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass. Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.

So you fall back on what you’re here to do. Fight. You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away. His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared. He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay. I see. I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?” You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri. Bring it on.” He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control. “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles. Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more. Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply. And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon. But you’re also both stubborn. And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination. No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration. The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not. You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head. You can be too predictable sometimes.” He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire. You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless. You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc. A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle. He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming. But he doesn’t. And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward. He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand. You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck. Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body. It doesn’t take long for him to tap out. You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off. Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride. You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad. In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good . He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you. His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere. He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes. If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you. He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable. You did good today. Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far. Keep it up.” He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts. He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment. “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--” The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his. His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair. You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more. Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment. A suspended second in time. But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side. But it’s warm and gentle. Gentle. Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle? But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations. His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit. You’re so wet .” He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit. He takes his hand away and you mewl. “Can I?” He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts. You nod, eyes half-lidded. He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious. Adoration. It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt. You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it. Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm. You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat. He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to. He’s done this before, he’s had to. He’s too good. Too fucking good. Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth. “Shit. Shit. Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--” He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym. It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue. But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock. You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum. Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them. Another time, maybe.

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing . He could snap you like a twig. But he won’t. You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…” You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders. You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled. You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much. His forehead drops to yours as he pants. But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to. It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins. You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss. “Oh fuck, ohfuck.” You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing. “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper. Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity. Let him leave marks. Let him leave them everywhere. He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling. “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.” His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good. S’ tight. Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym. The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip. He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes. Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ” He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct. He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point. “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream. Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic. The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath. “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins. His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt. He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole. Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours. Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before. You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri. Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression. Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed. He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex. But you’re smiling. Lazy and tired, completely at ease. “Wanna take a shower?” When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest. He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm. Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra. Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now. When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again. His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss. But it's slow and sweet.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers. He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water. Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now. The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep. But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in. When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel. “You okay?” He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired. I should, uh, probably get going.” Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line. Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail. But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug. A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest. His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice. You bury your face further in as you nod against him. Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed. He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him. Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you. The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket. It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets. He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake. You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb. A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist. His eyes are open now and he watches you. You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious. “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time. I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t… I don’t really hook up .” Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across. He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful. And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along. You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling. “I just. I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And normally I would have wined and dined you first but... Well. Here we are. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Is something funny?” That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri. I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.” A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection. The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

#kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima eijirou #pro hero kirishima #red riot #kirishima smut #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kaitsuki writes #oh my god i had such brain block #writing this one #because i get too in my head writing smut #BUT i hope everyone still enjoys #we stan kiri in this house

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