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lilxberry · 3 years

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‘Evil’ Step-mom - Kevin/Tom Keller (Platonic/Romantic)

Requested by: @thanossexual

Hi! So if you decide to write for Riverdale parents could I perhaps request Tom Keller x Reader, Platonic! Kevin Keller x Reader , where Y/n is in her thirties and is engaged to Tom and Kevin's friends come over to cheer him up when they find out cause they think that he's mad or sad but he's actually getting along with the reader and gossiping with her about boys and teenage drama and their reaction is just priceless when Kevin tells them that he's basically on best friend terms with Y/n. 😎

Ofc feel free to ignore this request if you don't like it!

I LOVED this request so of course I wasn’t gone ignore. With this, I mainly focused on giving a little detail between Kevin and readers’ relationship and how the girls had assumed that Kevin would be upset with Tom and readers’ engagement.

I do plan on making a part two, where I would focus more on Tom and reader, maybe a slightly prequel about the night they had gotten engaged or the aftermath of their engagement. Maybe a lil’ conflict between whatever Josie’ mom name is and the reader. (I lowkey don’t care. She is just as irrelevant to me as she is hot lmao). Maybe because she’s jealous or something, I dunno, I’m brainstorming rn.

Anyways, I’ve waffled on long enough so I hope you enjoy.

Warnings: None really, just humour tbh. I’m shocked too.

Words: 777

Pairings: Kevin Keller x reader (Platonic) (Female Reader). Mentions Tom Keller x reader (Romantic)

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Kevin’ morning had been a…confusing one at that. At soon as he walked through those doors to enter the school, the girls had flanked him and offered him their ‘condolences’, even Cheryl. His raised eyebrow and utter confused expression were definitely comical and just so him.

They had refused to bring whatever was supposedly upset him up or give some form of explanation to the young man, leaving him with little to no answers and a sore neck from all the shaking he has done through the day.

This continued until, finally, the bell to signify the end of last period sounded, giving the student body the freedom, they had craved all day.

Kevin had no desire to rush, wanting to take his time to put whatever textbooks into his locker and collect whatever he may need until tomorrow. But the girls had other plans. As soon as Kevin had passed the door exiting the class, he was flanked. Veronica on his right, Betty to his left.

“C’mon Kev, we’ve got some shakes to sip at Pop’s,” stated Veronica, clearly showing that he had no say in whatever they had planned. “Cheryl and Toni are going to meet us there.”

Kevin sighed deeply through his nose as he rolled his eyes before offering both of his arms to the girls which they quickly linked with their own. “Fine, but I need to get something from my locker.”

“Come on then, we don’t have all day,” Betty remarked playfully, eliciting a collective chuckle from the trio as they began to walk down the hallway and towards Kevin’ locker.

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Being sat with the girls at Pop’s really hadn’t given Kevin any clarity on why they were acting so weird. Weirder that what would be considered standard rate in Riverdale, at least.

“As much as I’ve loved the attention from my girls, truly, can someone please tell me why you’re all acting strange?”

Toni, Veronica and Betty had all simultaneously decided to take another sip from their milkshakes as they adverted their gaze. Cheryl had looked towards each of her female companions before sighing exaggeratedly and turning her attention towards Kevin who sat opposite to her.

“I don’t understand why you would want to bring it up and not just accept how great friends we are being right now. I mean, the amount of support we’re showing you at this terrible time is impeccable,” the red head spoke, slightly trailing from the point.

Kevin gave her a blank stare, waiting for her to finally spill what was going on. She sighed once more before speaking again. “We are simply trying to help you through the terrible news of your father proposing to Y/N.”

Kevin’ eyebrows furrowed; face scrunched up into confusion. Why was that terrible news? He greatly liked Y/N, he loved that she was now finally going to join the family officially. He was even the one to push his father to propose. Hell, he was even there when he had done so.

Shaking his head, he stuttered slightly as he spoke. “I-I don’t understand. Why is that bad?”

All heads at the table had snapped to look at him, all held a look of utter shock, as if he what he had said were incredulous.

“I thought it was gonna be an evil step-mother situation, honestly. We all did.” Toni was the first to break the silence, voicing what everyone had clearly thought was his feelings about you.

Kevin shook his head, a smile now forming on his lips. “No, I love Y/N. She’s awesome and she makes my dad happy, which makes me happy. Plus, we gossip all the time. Half of the drama I’ve know has been because she constantly texts me.”

Veronica smiled at Kevin as she rested her hand upon his arm in a friendly manner. “I’m sorry we got it so wrong. I’m glad, we’re glad, that you love her so much.”

“Yeah. We should have asked. We’re all sorry.” Betty gave him as side hug which he had happily returned.

“It’s fine. But yeah. Maybe ask next time.” They all shared a small laugh, resuming the chit chatting from before, taking sips from their shakes once more.

Quickly finishing off his drink, he looked towards the girls before speaking up. “I should get going, me and Y/N kinda have a movie night planned.”

“And you didn’t invite moi?!” Veronica feigned insult with an overdramatised gasp and hand over her chest. “Have fun, Kev.”

After more farewells from the rest of the girls, Kevin hastily left the diner, on his way to spend time with his favourite gossip guru and soon-to-be step-mom.

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Honestly, can we appreciate how quickly I have gotten these last two fics out because holy shit lmao

I really did have fun writing this and hope I can create a good part 2 where I focus on the relationship between Tom and reader

Anywho, I hope you enjoy

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

#kevin keller #kevin keller x #kevin keller x reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #x fem reader #x step mom!reader #tom keller #tom keller x #tom keller x reader #sheriff keller #sheriff keller x #sheriff keller x reader #riverdale #riverdale fic #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale x reader #riverdale fluff

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

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If Netflix Owned Riverdale

It’s clear that they don’t mind graphic scenes; they don’t care about blood, sex, or swearing. So... that means actual, hot steamy sex scenes between the couples! (Or at least something that leads up to it and is almost equally satisfying)

What they would (probably) do with the couples:

Knowing that Bughead is EXTREMELY toxic and co-dependent, Netflix wouldn’t have kept them going for as long as the CW has. Bughead probably would have stayed broken up when they broke up the first time, or AT LEAST a little before season two started. Betty would have come clean about the shit she’s done and admit that she needs help, and Jughead would break up with her and support her as she got a therapist and bettered herself and her outlook on life and relationships (so she wouldn’t have lied about getting a therapist nor would she have abused adderal. Or, maybe she would but it would be a great plotline to get her some help and whatnot)

Betty would (eventually) grow closer to Archie, remember her love for him and their promise to each other (after she’s on the path to getting better, of course). She would realize that she really only loved Jughead because of Archie’s “I’ll never be good enough for you” speech and that he was kind of a place holder. Throughout the season as she discovered this, she would hate herself and feel so bad and try to make it up to Jughead, but when he finds out, he would tell her it was okay, because he secretly dated her because her dark Betty side reminded him of Veronica, the girl he was absolutely in love with. But, she was with Sweet Pea, and taking her from him would put Jughead in a really bad position in the Serpents—Sweet Pea and Toni ruled the South Side (If it had to be one of the teens, anyway) and because of his recklessness, he was 👌🏻 close to being kicked out. Betty and Jughead would end on good terms, but both have their own problems, obviously.

Veronica and Archie dated for awhile, simply having fun with one another and liking the qualities that they gave each other that they got from nobody else. But eventually they both grew tired of it. They remained friends, but ultimately their love had expired, and Veronica found her way to Sweet Pea (everyone was surprised, except for Cheryl who was the one who pushed them together in the first place). Despite Archie’s reputation as a boy who was quick to hop from woman to men, whoever he was interested in, it actually took him a while to allow himself to indulge in being with Betty (the timelines would eventually meet up, Betty being a better version of herself, Archie would confess his feelings and they would get together).

Jughead would come to realization that he was aroace, his attraction to Veronica being a big part of one of the seasons and he would slowly realize his sexuality and the following season, he would embrace it. His love for Veronica would be justified — he loved her, of course, but it wasn’t romantic or sexual at all. So, his conflict with the Serpents would be fixed.

Choni would pretty much rule the show. Every single Netflix social media account has said that they love Choni, so it’s obvious who the main, favorite couple would be. They would explore Toni’s past, Cheryl’s PTSD and her feelings about her brother, her suicide attempt, etc. Overall, we’d get all of the things we’re robbed of right now. Toni wouldn’t be some prop to Cheryl.

Swangs would be visited. Maybe before or after SweetVee, it just depends. It’s clear that Fangs is at least Bisexual (we would officially find out his sexuality in the show), and seeing how close he is to Sweet Pea (and both actors shipping Swangs) they would get together maybe permanently or not, again, it depends.

Josie and Sweet Pea would have happened, but like in the show, it was only a cute summer fling. She would end up with Reggie (who Veronica did briefly date before or after Archie and Sweet Pea), getting through her issues with her parents and whatnot, and helping Reggie to be a better guy (like he is in season three). And she would definitely apologize for using him to annoy her mother.

Kevin would start off with Moose, helping him to come out of the closet but ultimately know that he doesn’t love him, and would remain friends with him as he got back with Joaquin. They would deal with Kevin’s dislike of Joaquin’s doing in Jason’s murder, and emphasize that Joaquin is actually a pretty good guy (like he is in like every single Joavin fic, and canon). Kevin would apologize to Fangs about turning him down when they were doing the production of Carrie: The Musical.

Speaking of the musical... FANGS WOULD BE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE MIDGE. MOOSE WOULD FEEL GUILTY ABOUT ALL THE TIME SHE (almost? wanted? did?) CHEAT ON MIDGE. Moose would also apologize to Fangs about attacking him after Midge was murdered. Reggie would apologizing for almost shooting him (and I forgot about this but Archie would apologize for pointing a gun in Sweet Pea’s face). Basically, everyone who has to apologize for anything would actually fucking do it.

Falice would be together, after breaking it off with their spouses (and Hal would not be the black hood because we all know that that was suddenly made up for Betty to take Archie’s plotline). Jellybean and Gladys would not be criminals, and they would come back and finally be a family together, but of course with some problems like every family.

Chuck would get his redemption arc and it would STAY. He’d probably have a love triangle between him, Josie, and Reggie, or maybe they would get into a three-way relationship. I’ve only ever seen that once in a TV show and it was incredible. I LOVED it. I miss Sense8 ugh...

The Serpents would come to an end, because those poor kids shouldn’t have to put up an angry (Sweet Pea) front to protect themselves. Also, Sweet Pea would open up about his past and we would find out why he is like he is, same with everyone we don’t know already.

I don’t remember what else I was going to add so I guess i’ll leave it here. Um... add stuff in the comments if you want to? If you don’t agree with what I’ve said that’s fine but please be respectful and understanding.

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sweetdollfromhell · 5 years

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So Riverdale bizarro

The only thing that Archie x Josie's romance makes me feel is how much I miss Valerie and wish to knew better Melody.

Objectively, who is really a die hard fan of Josie x Sweet peas? Nobody? That's what I thought.

Hey look: Penelope is a bitch who is STILL trying to destroy your life, Cheryl.If only someone like I do not know, let's say Betty had offered to help you make her go to jail for all the crimes she committed and stop you from being abused again.Oh, Betty was offering it to you but you refused because ...?

Did you make someone come out of the closet against his will when you personally know all the abuses that can be experienced by a homophobic parent in a personal way? Are you stupid, mean, selfish or a mix of the three?

OMG THANK GOD, ALLAH, DIANE AND SANTA CLAUSE, Toni has regained her personality and her brain! Thank you explain to your girlfriend how the real world works.

Well, Joaquim and Midge are dead for you’re ship to live so Kevin x Moose is better to be good...Ok, It's still not my favorite but I do not hate it, can even grow on me.

I think my favorite parent couple is now Tom x Sierra. They are really cute and have a good reason for not being together at first.

I like Veggie, I like really much...maybe more that Varchie (please don’t kill me!!!!)

Gargoyle king again? Could we just blame Penelope and move on to something else please?

Ok, I do not know if Gladys is a good person who does bad things or a bad person who does good things ... but I love her! Fuck Hiram, Penelope, Penny and Hermione, she the scarry complexe villain I want!!!!

Ok, Cheryl begins to understand empathy and that sweet for the university for Toni. I still think you should have accepted Betty's offer and you’re Pink Lady cosplay club (sorry pretty poison) ...I can see you’re having fun with it...But toni playing pretend when she know the real stuff? I guess it's a group that helps each other without participating in criminal activities, so that good. But now I'm thinking about Betty and Veronica Vixens and I wish Riverdale had adapted it (read it, you will not regret it !!!!!!)

Ok, Kevin and Moose are supose to be a virgin? Because it call bullshit on it! Or is it a romantic thing to spend the night together and wake up together? (It's actually pretty charming)

Oh it's creepy with Moose's father. Even more creepy, the number of fanfic who had seen coming.

Ok, I understand going away after discovering that your father was trying to kill your boyfriend to keep you out with him or stop his own desires for the sexually assaulted.But again, Joaquim and Midge died for this ship. You did everything for us to force him into the throat as if Kevin x Moose was the only option possible despite the fact that Moose had a lot of problems that made the relationship unappealing (I do not mean to be in the closet, I talk about being emotionally absent, cheating on his partners on a regular basis, encouraging drug-taking and being jealous).But there seems to be potential: Moose made efforts and Kevin was more than patient. Either the two actors really have good chemistry or I just want Kevin to be happy (problem last) ... And you put Moose in the bus?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? And don’t Moose have a mother?

I continue to believe that nuns are karma houdini for all the harm they have caused. They are dead but they died on their own terms. I just hope they're Mrs. Satan's bitch now.

Oh Jughead is happy ... it's not going to stay that way, the universe does not let Jugh be happy without consequences.

NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RIVERDALE DON’T YOU’RE DARE! We've had confirmation that Kevin's sisters do not exist in riverdale, any more than Moose's five siblings, Chic is dead, Polly has joined the dark side, Reggie's brother probably does not exist either. in this continuity, you have to abandon the plan of Dilton and Sweet Peas to be half-brothers ... You will not transform Jellybean baby sociopath when it is the last positive fraternal relationship that exists in this show !!!! NO IN MY WATCH!!!!!!!!!!

#riverdale #archie andrews #josie mccoy #toni topaz #cheryl blossom #reggie mantle #moose mason #kevin keller #veronica lodge #jughead jones #betty cooper #penelope blossom #jellybean jones #gladys jones #tom keller #sierra mccoy #veggie #choni #moose x kevin

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crashingwavesinmyworld · 5 years

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Riverdale 3x19 Thoughts

What the even fuck was this episode

I actually enjoyed most of it as it kept shocking me and make me wanna see what happens next but like what the fuck?

*I’m so sad this was Freds last episode best parent in Riverdale 😭😭😭😭 I’ll never be okay

*i actually shouted WHAT THE FUCK when it was revealed Evelyn was Edgar’s wife and not his daughter, what the actual fuck? And she’s posing as a 17 year old. Not gonna lie just made things more interesting though even though it’s creepy as fuck.

And UGH, I actually thought Toni was on Betty’s side and trying to get Cheryl and Alice to come to their senses but she was in on the whole thing. I’m really disappointed that so many characters are being sacrificed for this farm bullshit. I still love Cheryl and Toni and Kevin but I need this farm thing to end soon because it’s ridiculous. Sure, no one aside from Evelyn and Alice have really been shitty to Betty (well Kevin kind of was in one episode) since joining the farm or done anything to anyone else but it’s still creepy.

Ugh I felt so bad for Josie throughout this episode

:( I can understand why her dad thought he was trying to motivate her by acting like he wasn’t going to show up/hiding until the last second but it broke my heart to see her so sad. And honestly after the robbery? “Do you see why I need to get the hell out of this town?” Honestly mood!!!!

But I’m glad even though I’m gonna miss her that she gets to go on tour and live her dream of being a musician. I’m glad her and Archie ended on good terms too. I did like their relationship a lot and they were cute in this episode. But ugh can everyone stop saying “endgame” please??? It’s so cringy.

Kurtz is a crazy motherfucker, I’m glad he’s dead now.

The Jughead/Jellybean moments were so sweet.

And damn, almost all of the scenes with Jughead, FP, Kurtz, & Gladys (the ones with them all together and the ones with just Jughead & Kurtz) were intense as fuck. And omg, I can’t believe Penny came back. But tbh, right before they showed her face I was thinking, “it’s gonna be Penny” and then said “I knew it” lmao.

Poor Archie. He’s constantly being seen and framed as the bad guy so much that he’s started to believe it himself

:( I’m so glad Fred and Veronica both told him otherwise though. And I’m glad Archie was able to help Randy’s family with the money. I also love Archie and Mad Dog’s friendship so much.

I loved all the Varchie moments of course 😍😍 Veronica cares about him so much. I’m glad still of course though that they’re just remaining friendly for now because I didn’t want to see Josie get hurt. But it’s obvious that they still love each other.

Fuck Elio and Fuck Hiram. Just when I was starting to actually not hate him so much (Hiram I mean) like yes Archie was wrong to point the gun at his head but we all know Archie never would have killed him. He had every right to be angry at Hiram for all he put him through but Archie being the ACTUAL GOOD GUY HE IS saved his life because well he’s a good person!!!! I just wonder if Hiram is gonna tell Veronica the truth about Archie and the gun though. But obviously more worried that Archie is gonna be put through even more shit I mean we don’t know what’s gonna happen with Fred now, I know he made amends with Randy’s family but his mom is back in the next promo and like Archie never catches a break and now Hiram is gonna be after him again when literally this is all Elio’s fault.

I CANT BELIEVE THE EPISODE ENDED WITH HAL POSSIBLY BEING DEAD?????? LIKE I KNOW THERES A CHANCE HE DID ESCAPE BUT LIKE DAMN RIVERDALE BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE ACTUAL GOOD CLIFFHANGERS. Hal has done a lot of terrible things but I don’t want him to be dead because Betty’s been through enough and he’s actually a better parent than Alice right now, somehow, but they’re both terrible parents.

Me actually liking Penelope for once I never thought that would happen. I’m glad at least one twin was rescued from the farm. I wish Penelope cared enough about Cheryl to try to help her though. I know Cheryl wouldn’t listen to her anyway, but still.

Also when the farm told Betty all the people she cared about were there, literally 3 of the people she cared about most weren’t there (Jughead, Veronica, & Archie) Betty only ever used Kevin and Cheryl for her own benefit, (even though Cheryl actually was there for Betty several times and tried to help her), and obviously Alice screwed Betty over, Polly basically didn’t give a shit about Betty since joining the farm, & Betty didn’t care about any of the other people there, so I don’t know what the hell they were talking about. Like obviously Betty did care about her sister and mom but they really didn’t deserve it at that point.

Anyway this was an intense episode. I’m probably forgetting something but overall it was a really good episode.

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers

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cheryls-riverdale · 6 years

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I’m bored, have way too much spare time and an obsession with Riverdale so here’s a list of my favourite/worst things about s2 that literally no one asked for!

All of these are just personal taste so if you disagree that’s fine but don’t start arguing because you want MY list to say something else.

Best song(s): I couldn’t pick just one song but whatever. Bullet by Ann Marr, You Belong to Me by Cat Pierce, Season of the Witch by Donovan, Content by Joywave, After the Gold Rush by MIYNT, Wes Come Back by Rodes Rollins and No Sleep by Snow Culture.

A song I really love was used in the “Pop’s Diner” promo vid (before s2 started) but I haven’t found the artist or official song name.

Best moment: Cheryl and Toni kiss in an institute doing conversion therapy, hands down. Iconic, amazing, legendary. Nothing can compare.

Worst moment: Betty doing the fucking Serpent dance. It was so fucking gross, unnecessary, sexist and overall disgusting I lost so much respect for the writers. Neither Betty or Lili deserved to go through that.

Best cliffhanger: If there’s one thing Riverdale does really well, it’s the cliffhanger at the end of an episode. Between Grundy’s death, Moose getting shot, Cheryl getting attacked by Black Hood, Fangs getting shot and Midge getting killed, I have to pick Moose getting shot. It was so unexpected.

Best team up: Toni, Veronica and Kevin when busting Cheryl out from the Sisters. They all looked damn good while doing so too. Runner up: Cheryl and Betty teaming up when searching for clues that Hal was the Black Hood.

Brotp: Sweet Pea and Fangs! Their constant punching each other, getting each other riled up and has each others backs is brotp material I love.

Worst character: Betty. Her character for me this season regressed completely into someone who constantly hurt people around her, always got her way for some reason and rarely had consequences for her actions.

Best character: This is a difficult one. I’m leaning towards Cheryl, Toni and Veronica this season. I also like Archie and Pop’s.

Best character development: Veronica. Her character development from s1 where she defended Hiram all the time to the end of s2 where she’s now actively trying to stop his plans with everything she can, is amazing to me. She’s also really improved in terms of being a better person to her friends and being a more supportive girlfriend in comparison to how she used to be in New York. Runner up: Alice and Cheryl.

Characters that I think should have more development: Josie and Reggie aka that one black character who was promoted to regular but has 3 secs of screen time every third episode since we shoehorn her in whenever we need a singer and that jock that always disagrees with Archie for the sake of the plot. Also Kevin The Token Gay, who’s around for the sake of wokeness.

Best parent: Fred hands down. Fred actually treats Archie like a teenager, doesn’t manipulate him, listens to him and respects him.

Worst parent: Penelope has neglected and emotionally abused her own daughter for being a girl and for simply existing. Not to mention she shamed Cheryl back into the closet, gave zero support when Cheryl was almost raped AND sent Cheryl to gay conversion therapy. Honorary shitty parents: Hiram, Hal and Gladys.

Best episode(s): 2x07, 2x09, 2x19, 2x20 and 2x21

Worst episodes: The middle of the season is weak, but the worst episode goes to 2x08 solely because Betty’s Serpent Dance. I cannot emphasize how much it makes me want to throw up.

Best singer: Based on what I heard and saw in 2x18 (the musical episode), I have to say Kevin, even tough he only sings one line by himself.

Friendship I want more of: Cheryl and Kevin because they seemed to have good tone in The Musical and I’d love for them to have a supportive friendship as two of four openly lgbt kids at school (maybe the entire town). Kevin also saw how horribly Penelope treated Cheryl by denying her participating in the musical, so maybe he’ll be a little more understanding as to why Cheryl acts the way she does.

Saddest death: This goes to Midge because I really liked her, even though she had 22 seconds of screen time the entire season and maybe 4 lines.

Best villain: Between Hiram, Black Hood (Hal), the Ghoulies and Penny Peabody, I have to say the big bad is Hiram. He manipulated everyone right from the get-go, is utterly ruthless and stops at nothing to get what he wants. It also helps that he was the one behind everything this entire season.

Most heartbreaking moment: Jughead sacrificing himself to the Ghoulies. I’m not a big Jughead fan, but seeing him surrender to the Ghoulies voluntarily to help Archie, Betty, Veronica and the Serpents was sad, even though I’m still not sure why Hiram was so interested in getting rid of Jughead of all people.

#mine #riverdale #this became much longer than I expected lol

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clamydomona · 3 years

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Thoughts on Riverdale Seasons 1-3

Preface: I picked up the first two seasons on DVD in my local library, otherwise I never would have watched a single second of this show. But I kept seeing the DVDs and thought, why the hell not? (That was the main reason I watched Game of Thrones, my library had the DVDs and I’m a sucker for the special features and making offs.)

I’ve never read a comic book in my life and had absolutely no idea who these characters were. I was only marginally aware that something like “Archie and Veronica” and “Betty and Veronica” exist, but what kind of relationship they had with each other or what characters they were supposed to be … no idea.

The only comic stuff I was somewhat aware of are superheroes (I watched a lot of Marvel movies and TV shows and really enjoy listening to the podcast Cinematic Universe), so I started off believing there would be characters with superpowers here as well. It took me about three episodes to really catch on that there would probably be no one suddenly developing any superpowers. That was kinda disappointing, to be honest. Then I got on bord that this would be something noir like Veronica Mars and started enjoying what I was seeing. And then I started watching the second season and … what?

Also, I spend a lot of time doing arts and crafts for Christmas while I was watching, so I wasn’t always paying super close attention, but I didn’t feel like that was such a great loss, especially during the many many many scenes between Archie and Hiram that I didn’t care about in the slightest.

Parents:

· In season 1, I liked that the parents play a bigger role in the lives of their children, that just seems more realistic than whatever went on in One Tree Hill and the Vampire Diaries for example, where most parents got killed off after a while (though it seems like Riverdale is heading in a similar direction). That’s what I liked in The O.C., the parents were important. Like it usually is in the life of teenaged High School students.

· I started of liking Fred and emphasizing with Hermione, having no clue about the Blossoms, despising Alice and thinking F.P. was super shady. Plus Sherriff Keller seemed like a good Dad but not very good Sherriff, but how could he be when it’s the children’s task to solve the cases?

· One thing I was aware of before the show started was that Luke Perry died somewhere in the middle of the show, so I spent a lot of season 3 thinking he was already dead, because HE JUST DIDN’T SHOW UP, and was surprised more than once that he was still alive when he popped up in an episode.

· After season 3 I don’t even know what to say anymore. WTF? More than one parent is a serial killer, a lot more are willing to commit murder or at least serious crimes left and right, the former Sherriff didn’t seem to care that his son got involved with a cult that TOOK HIS KIDNEY (wouldn’t Kevin need parental consent to join something like that?), Mayor McCoy just disappeared, they completely turned F.P. around and I’m not sure what they want to do with Alice.

· After three seasons, the only parents I care about in the slightest are F.P. and Alice because you at least understand some of their actions. In the first season you got a lot of time with Hermione, one on one, so you could understand her actions and feelings, and she and Fred were kind of cute. But in the second season they shot Fred and any storyline he had, Hermione became the mob boss wife fully on board with every crime possible, and Hiram swallowed up anything that was interesting about her. Alice at least had some nuances and was not just the abusive and controlling mother she was in season 1. However, the whole cult thing … I just don’t know what to say. But I haven’t watched season 4 yet, so I’m at least excited to see what they’ll do with Alice. Hal … I don’t even know what to say, I just don’t think the actor can really pull of menacing, so all these Hannibal-esque scenes in season 3 seemed just ridiculous to me.

· It seems extremely weird to me that all the parents are supposed to be the same age, but the episode where the young actors played their parents was one of the most enjoyable ones so I’m willing enough to suspend my disbelief.

· I don’t care about Hiram. At all. The actor looks great and has a very pleasing voice, but I don’t care about his storylines, his relationships and I’m glad I’m mostly doing other stuff during his scenes so I don’t have to pay too close attention to him. Also I’m mad that he destroyed any interest I had in Hermione, because I enjoyed the actress a lot in the one episode of Charmed she was in.

Kids:

· I started the first episode already annoyed by the concept of Betty pining for Archie who falls in love at first sight with Veronica. I watched enough shows with love triangles to despise the very concept. Especially since I know how it turns out most of the time, the pining girl will always and forever be the second choice of the guy, even if they end up together later on. That was the first time I considered to stop watching, but since I took home both the first and the second season from the library I wanted to give it a little more time.

· The second time I considered to stop watching was when it was revealed that Archie had an affair with the music teacher. That’s just not a trope I enjoy in any way, shape or form. And I was annoyed that Betty stared with heart eyes at Archie while he was a little torn between his immediate attraction to Veronica and his supposed love for the music teacher. But I got curious enough how it would turn out so I kept watching.

· I was so relieved that they resolved Archie and Betty this early on and didn’t throw Veronica in the mix immediately. I really liked Betty and I’m glad that they gave her another storyline far far away from Archie.

· I also enjoyed Veronica a lot and found her storyline interesting enough as the new girl wanting to start over as a better person and friend and coming to terms with her criminal father. Just, how the hell can they afford their lifestyle while Hermione was working as a waitress? (At this point I was still a little concerned with logic in that show, now I know that’s just not something worth thinking about.)

· I was immensely surprised that little Ben from Friends looked like this grown up (I never watched Disney Channel shows here in Germany and had no idea how he looked older) and that he could actually act. (I always thought he was terrible as Ben, but that could also be the bad dubbing in German, who knows. I just know I never enjoyed episodes with Ben, so at the same time I was torn between thinking Ross was a bad father and glad that his son wasn’t more on screen.) But I only started to pay attention to Jughead once he got put in the same storyline as Betty, because I liked her and that the murder solving was the only thing I found really interesting. Though I really liked that he was the voice of reason with the music teacher affair before Betty took it upon herself to “save” Archie.

· I enjoy the four main characters together but I’m very disappointed that they have so few scenes together. The episode where they went to the lodge in the woods was great because it was just those four. (That was one of the things I really liked about The O.C., the four main teenagers spent a lot of time together.) I really liked Archie and Jughead together and that was so reduced in later seasons, not to mention Betty and Veronica who are supposedly BFFs and had maybe ten scenes in season 3 together? I’d guess that Betty spent more time with every other female character other than Veronica. At this point I’d buy Betty and Cheryl as BFFs more. What I also would like is exploration of Jughead and Veronica’s relationship, but I doubt that’s going to happen.

· I’m especially disappointed what they did with every other teenaged character. I hate that they never show Kevin’s perspective and mostly use him for shock value in Betty’s storylines. (Also, once again, where the hell was his father, THE FORMER SHERRIFF, during the cult storyline? I get that Cheryl’s and Toni’s families probably don’t give a shit, but him?!?!) Also, looking at the cover pictures on the DVD case I was continuously surprised that they deemed Josie important enough to picture her. She constantly felt like such an afterthought in every storyline she was put in. Same with Reggie who was important in the beginning of season 3 only to disappear halfway through and be resurrected as a minimal obstacle for Veronica and Archie.

· Also, what happened to the Pussycats? In the first season, they had something to do, in the second they at least sang once or twice but then they just disappeared? I wouldn’t actually have noticed were it not for the comic con panel they put on the season 2 DVD extras where all the actresses were there and I was confused why, because I couldn’t think of a single storyline they were involved in after beating the guy up who tried to rape Cheryl. The way they were talking on the panel you’d assume that they had massive screentime and great storylines and none of that happened.

· That brings me to the next point I’m bothered about, they scrapped almost everything that was typically High School after the first season. Next to nothing with the cheerleaders, no football, the newspaper office is only treated as a backdrop and no one does anything with the newspaper anymore. Instead you have vigilantes, owning businesses and having a seventeen-year-old as the leader of a large gang (???). The only thing that is at least slightly consistent is Betty and Jughead trying to solve murders and other criminal stuff in between everything else; with the occasional musical thrown in for the cast to show off their voices, since they dropped music more or less in every other context.

· Also, I have no idea what to make of the Serpents. First they were these criminals you had to be wary off, then Jughead joined them and you were supposed to feel better about them because there were other worse gangs, then these old dudes accept a teenager as their leader (that seemed the most unrealistic to me) and now they are helping the Sherriff’s office? Just … what?

· I don’t even want to get into what they did with Archie. I just know I preferred it when he struggled between his music and football instead of becoming a vigilante, temporarily joining the mafia, getting sent to prison and starting up boxing in a gym he owned. Jesus Christ, just let him play guitar.

· Additionally, every storyline in season 3 felt insane. The role playing game, the cult, the criminal stuff in between … Though I did find it funny that every person Betty recruited to help her with the Farm ended up in the Farm. I guess that sometimes is how it works with cults.

· Also, what was that scene with Betty, Jughead and their FBI brother Charles in the season 3 finale? First, I doubt that it was planned that Alice was undercover at the Farm, based on the way she threw all her money out (though maybe she’ll get it back, who knows), and then the reveal … what kind of awkward writing was that? “Betty, I’m your brother.” “Yes, Jughead, we are brothers, too.” I don’t think I have seen many scenes that were more awkward, and I watched The Secret Life of the American Teenager years ago.

· I think at the end I only stuck around because I liked some of the characters’ relationships enough to see how it will turn out. I was surprised that I enjoyed Betty and Jughead so much, even though I don’t really care about Archie and Veronica at all. (They have good chemistry, but … eh.) Plus, WTF was the writing of the season 3 finale, when Archie’s mom didn’t care at all that Archie was given ownership of A WHOLE GYM?!?! “Hmm, that’s nice, but I’m more interested where you two stand romantically.”

· It took me a while to warm to Betty and Jughead as well because I expected her to be more hung up on Archie. It took me until the last scene of episode 13 to really get on board with those two, but that’s a common occurrence with me. I can watch a show and enjoy a couple pretty lowkey and then there is one scene with great chemistry and suddenly I have to intensely rewatch every scene they ever had together. (Same thing happened with Barney and Robin (HIMYM) when they suddenly kissed in a cab in season 7, Jeremy and Anna of the Vampire Diaries when they were in bed together, the first kiss of Tyler and Caroline from the same show…) But since none of those couples had their happily ever after and some where more traumatic than others (I will never be over the finale of HIMYM, I’m still getting enraged just thinking about it), I’m really weary of how it will turn out. They certainly dragged them out long enough to make it seem like Veronica/Archie, Betty/Jughead will be endgame, but who knows what kind of drama they will throw to them to make it “interesting”. Though, honestly, I enjoy Betty and Jughead as a stable couple that gets all their drama through crime solving. Just let them have their ten near-death experiences a season and let them be happy together otherwise.

· I don’t have any particular feelings toward Cheryl and Toni. They are cute and I’m glad that they have at least some scenes that are about them without being pushed aside as much as Kevin. In parts I was just very annoyed how they interrupted scenes with Cheryl’s dramatic entrances because she felt like such an enormous afterthought, like “Oh, crap, we wanted to do something with Cheryl but we already wrote the scene. Whatever, just put her in there somewhere to disrupt the conversation between the four and let it go on exactly as written once she disappears again.”

· And once again, the plots … just … whatever. I care enough about the characters and their relationships to keep watching, but the plots … ugh. I mainly wish they’d be more High School-y and less criminal and business focused. But I highly doubt that’s a realistic expectation, so, you know, just enjoy the kissing scenes and sometimes friendship scenes in between all the criming and crime solving and fighting. It’s still interesting enough in the background while doing other stuff.

#Riverdale #thoughts #spoilers #riverdale season 1-3 #does it still count as spoilers if the season is out for more than a year?

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nanyoky · 6 years

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Someone’s stomach still hates her, so it’s BREAD NIGHT instead of sushi night but HERE WE GO

lol cheryl. for just one tiny moment, i bet a couple kids were ready for a columbus style defamation and dressing down, but not our cheryl. nope. she’s just taking another opportunity to be the live action pacifica northwest.

“the southside kids are fine, but their parents are FURIOUS.” i’m gunna need more than that mayor mac- why? are the southside kids studying too hard now that they have real books? does sweetpea’s mum have to drive him all the way across town to his new school every morning? if the city shut down the school and absorbed these kids into the other district, the district buses would have to come to them, yes? so why would Mama Sweets driving him??? I NEED MORE DETAILS MAYOR MAC.

a neighborhood party for both north and southside. but the serpents are hired as security. do you see the problem here folks???? i mean- obviously not every single southsider is in the gang, but they are a good chunk of the people you’re trying to integrate into the community. so..... what’s really happening.... is a party of northsiders........ with southsiders as The Help. ......great plan i can’t wait.

there’s something really hilarious about the marked height difference between archie and hiram and archie is enjoying every inch of it- deep, deep down inside while he tries to figure out what the fuck is happening in his dining room.

me @ Hal: you’ve got the personality of a brillo pad go out in the garage or something

chic is chillingly cavalier, which is just how i want him, but betty brining up the “cresent moons” on her palms was ham handed and awkward come on we were doing so much better with dialogue recently

this guy can’t possibly be legit there’s no way a trained agent of anything would trust archie with a can of pringles

there is just so much in the gang checking out betty’s picture of chic. kevin thinks he looks hot and maybe familiar because kevin likes pretty, hooded eyed bad boys who probably have a switchblade in their back pocket ((me too bro it’s okay)). veronica calling him “the omen.” betty sort of expecting but not knowing how to react to her friends thinking her long lost brother is a babe. also summarizing her current home life perfectly in how alice is being awkwardly infantizing and how hal is being definitely not chic’s biological dad and pissy about it. excellent. all excellent.

betty’s “hanging out with toni? cool. that’s cool” face is just... so betty.

“oldest living serpent” SHUT UP i bet he’s adorable i can’t wait

“your dad doesn’t like me” “what? no!” veronica is suddenly a worse liar than betty and that is SAYING something

veronica references the movie “foxcatcher” which i both want to see and don’t want to see and have been waffling about for over a year. anyone care to swing me on it?

varchie is lying to one another and it is all going to blow up so terribly

hoooooolllllyyyyyyy shhhiiiiitttttt. i see. this is a topical episode. and tangentially personal. i went to school near the dakota borders. i have friends who spent weeks at the pipeline protests. but also um.... why do i get the sense that for some bizarre reason, this is going to be jughead’s narrative....... *SIGH*

i need about twelve drinks right now. but also did i nail it with that columbus reference or what?

((fun fact to lighten the mood: my city is working on getting a statue of christopher columbus replaced with one of prince because he was from here and he “represents us better”. bless this midwest))

*HEFTY SIGH* mayor mac. i genuinely want to see more of your adulterous but charming affair with papa keller but you keep fighting tooth and nail to stay on my shitlist

kevin’s porn watching has solved a mystery that shouldn’t really have been a mystery to anyone? i thought fantasy fulfillment was pretty fuckin clear. also, kev, WHY ARE YOU WATCHING PORN IN POP’S WHAT THE FUCK BRO WHO DOES THAT

Archie: *jake peralta voice* why does everyone keep touchin my butt?

IS THE SHERIFF THERE TO WATCH KEVIN’S TRYOUT HELP MY HEART DON’T YOU *DARE* BE SHADY PAPA KELLER DON’T YOU BETRAY MY BOY

KEVIN’S GOOD. KEVIN’S A GOOD WRESTLER. MY LITTLE HEART.

none of these boys better make ANY comments about kevin wrestling or i will come after them with A BAT

this is a much needed self esteem boost for kevin- being better at something traditionally masculine than archie, the all american boy and I SUPPORT HIS PRIDE I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY KEV EVEN IF YOU LOOK AT CAM BOYS AT A PUBLIC DINER YA WEIRDO

this is an A+ sweater from betty holy jeez contender #1 for outfit mvp

bets did you watch a bunch of your brother’s sexy vids? holy jeez i need to feel better so i can have a drink ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS ESSAY I KNOW YOU ARE

kevin’s writing a gossip column now? i both love and hate this. give me a sample of it and i will swing one way or the other

“this is a story we need to tell” close jughead. this is a story you need to help the right people tell. as support. not the main voice. please tell me that is on its way. (i doubt it)

also i feel like the writers came up with this history of the gang, shall we say, quite a ways after casting of the gang.... not that the gang has to be all direct descendants of the tribe but.... still.

kevin’s going to help archie practice cuz he’s the best of all of us. also it’s going to make him feel good about himself and i don’t begrudge him that in the slightest.

“you don’t really think this could be long term, do you?” chic you were living in a hostel where people get stabbed/their stuff stolen- how is that long term?

it’s a repeat but i think this is the first time this season we’ve heard a character’s original song? i miss the pussycats. i miss “we tell our own story” divas of color. i honestly kinda miss “i wanna be a musician” archie tbh. the music in general has taken a definite turn this season and i like all the retro but god the s1 soundtrack was SO damn good and atmospheric

Hiram has mastered the painfully overt backhanded compliment in a way i would have scoffed at two years ago but honestly i know people liek this now and it’s a nightmare.

lol veronica and archie turn this into the cold war of in-law relations. “i’m glad you’re not man enough to wrestle archie makes me feel like my daughter’s virtue is safe with you” “oh yeah well i think archie is hot” “yeah and we are TOTES comfortable kissing in front of you because our relationship is TOO HOT TO CONTAIN SO THERE”

*long, loud groan* oh my gggaaaaawwwwddd hal

that being said i kinda feel the same way about the narrative doing this weird displacement where Chic replaces Polly as the Problem Cooper and Sweetpea and Fangs are splitting up the threads of Joaquin’s storyline like come on writers either get your actors back or write something new- don’t just rework existing threads of character and plot for new faces.

kevin stop looking so eager we know hiram is a babe okay but that’s your friend’s dad

kevin and chuck both know enough about wrestling to know hiram is being a dick and not demonstrating for the sake of demonstrating. i mean- i don’t know shit about wrestling and i could tell that- but i have the benefit of knowing the narrative

“Get the message?” no hiram i think you’re being a tad too subtle. try farting on him.

TONI. THAT’S MY GIRL. FINALLY. THANK GOD. i was so scared this storyline was going to let jughead be this painfully white without acknowledgement but here we go. thank god. jughead has been whiter than i am recently and that is SAYING something.

okay so josie’s mad at veronica now which means we don’t get a pussycat reunion? DID THEY LOSE MELODY AND VAL TO OTHER GIGS??? JESUS RIVERDALE HOLD ON TO YOUR CAST ((i’m just assuming. i don’t know if polly and joaquin and melody and val and smithers all have other acting jobs keeping them from doing riverdale- it’s just it doesn’t make sense narrative-wise so i assume it’s a scheduling thing))

“cameras aren’t here, jackie o” that’s my girl

“the old ways die hard it seems” SOCIAL COMMENTARY

i love this wrestling plotline for many kevin reasons, but one of them is it gives and opportunity to show kevin interacting with a male friend. they’re obviously making a better effort to make him more than the “sassy gay friend” but this is one i feel a lot of people would miss. we’re used to gay men befriending women and being romantically involved with or lusting after men exclusively. but kevin and archie are friends! and we love them both! kevin jokes around about archie being hot and neither of them are uncomfortable! archie goes to kevin for help with something kevin has more knowledge/skill at! if i remember right archie was the first one to call joaquin kevin’s boyfriend! they are bros! and this is just really nice!

also how did i not notice kevin is ridiculously buff before? did he beefcake up between seasons or did those sweaters just slim him down a lot somehow? woops better go back and rewatch season one again to check. god what a chore.

chic is AGGRESSIVELY questioning betty’s intentions because we aren’t aware enough that he has TRUST ISSUES

i still don’t know how i feel about any of this and i keep swinging back and forth on “dark betty” from episode to episode depending on what they’re doing with it

“i took care of her while you were in prison” “excuse me” OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT HERE LIES ARCHIE ANDREWS DUMB BOY GOOD BOY SWEET BOY

i really need to know what veronica knows about her parents and how she is biding her time and handling it because the writers are just not throwing her a goddamn bone lately other than to occasionally call out toxic masculinity

honestly i feel like i don’t understand hiram. maybe because i’m not a blindly competitive douchenozzle. but like- surely laying things out so bullheaded and aggressive can’t be a better strategy than lying in wait and learning what you can? he could pretty easily wreck their relationship- those two keep screwing things up between them anyway. it can’t be that hard to be subtle buddy ((hiram is a gryffindor. nell is a slytherpuff. nell does not understand lion people.))

we see more hints of veronica faking the koolaid drinking with her parents. but is that truly what hermione wants? who is real? season one or two hermione?! i must know!!!!

*jughead continues to make this about him* toni: “i thought you were apologizing.” thank god for tony. give her her own narrative and stop making her only scenes be about jughead one way or another. she’s got such potential

for all that i still think the narrative is still going to find a way to keep jughead’s feelings at the forefront of this plot thread, there was some good delivery on “i had no right.” a kid realizing for the first time that just because he feels really strongly about something, does not mean he’s universally in the right on the subject. i know so many grown ass adults who don’t know this. i’m just really hoping not just jughead as a character takes a step back for a bit, but the narrative lets him and uses the room he makes well.

of course hiram invites veronica thinking archie isn’t going to make the team

slap his butt ronnie

so which chuck are we getting today god only knows because his redemption never saw any continuation or closure beyond gettin flirty with josie so i have no idea if it was genuine

Me, who knows nothing about sports of any kind beyond that i like it when Klose does the flippy: Wrestling is an aesthetically stupid sport

we’re all acknowledging how very uncomfortable and surreal this is for veronica right? watching her boyfriend grapple with the guy who publicly humiliated and harassed her a few months back? but in like- a “sportsman behavior” setting? very weird.

was that archie realizing he was being tested? is dating a lodge like converting to judaism? gotta be denied three times and persist?

alice is being so painfully stepfordy and i’m frightened and intrigued by the moment when the other shoe will drop and chic sees the alice cooper we all know and love to hate and hate to love

again- i’m really shocked that like- no one read between the lines on what chic’s livelihood came from

“he has to go and you know damn well why” *clutches pearls* oh good heavens hal what reason could that possibly be??? i haven’t the foggiest

PENELOPE IS LIKE AN AMALGAMATION OF EVERY DISNEY VILLAIN EVER IN THIS SHOT I’M DYING

OH SHIT. OH SHIT. VERONICA AND THE PUSSYCATS.

like on the one hand, that was a fucking power move and i kind of just have to give props for the sheer audacity, but on the other hand PEOPLE NEED TO STOP CUTTING JOSIE OFF FROM ANY AND ALL SUPPORT SHE’S JUST BEING MANIPULATED AND ATTACKED ON ALL SIDES AND I NEED HER TO BE OKAY BECAUSE SHE HAS FAR TOO MANY FEELINGS IN HER BIG BROWN EYES

oh god oh god this is too fucking real i need a drink but i’m still sick fuck this is real. fuck. toni’s face. cuz honestly she’s tough but you can tell she’s not used to the spotlight and it took all her courage to get up and be the voice of the protest only to be derailed and minimalized fuck let this girl have more to do than occasionally be the voice of reason to jughead and the serpents.

BAHAHAHA is hal going to sleep with penelope to get back at alice for having a kid with fp back in highschool jesus christ this show

i’m reserving judgement on the chic plotline until it progresses more but right now i’m just kinda “....huh.” about it

oh betty. oh honey. oh babe.

“That was the old me” archie has been through five “new me”s in the past month. i mean this is obviously to get on hiram’s good side, but still it’s hilarious.

oh of course. they couldn’t just let this fucking go could they. gotta frame the serpents for something else. or not! maybe it was the serpents! doesn’t actually matter. either way mayor mac, lodges and papa keller are going to be the absolute worst about it.

can we get back to being a gothic mystery show next ep? please?

Episode Scorecard:

Number of Sick Beatdrop editing sequences: none. it seems they’ve abandoned this, sadly, along with the rest of the season one soundtrack and editing style. which is a shame.

Do I Still Miss Joaquin: please just imagine wrestling matches with Joaquin dragging all the other teen serpents along with to be the loudest, rowdiest, Team Keller-est cheering section riverdale has ever seen. Kevin is equal parts pleased and mortified. cheryl and toni are dating by now, so cheryl makes them all tshirts. they all have no fucking clue how wrestling works. they love it.

Episode Hair MVP: jughead’s bangs were corkscrewing again- like mine do when my hair air dries just right. i live the curly/wavy combo life too juggie. i know it’s hard.

Episode Outfit MVP: betty’s felted floral sweater- tho i’m still perplexed by the collars on this show. someone in wardrobe has a signature and i don’t begrudge them- i’ve just never seen collars on any outfit anywhere like these ones

#riverdale spoilers #long post #nell liveblogs #unsubtle highschool suburban gothic of my dreams #riverdale season 2 #there was no fp this episode which is a crime

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