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#child development psychology
typhlonectes · 1 year
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todays-xkcd · 6 months
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My first words were 'These were my first words; what were yours?'
Language Acquisition [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
[A child, drawn as a smaller Hairy, stands next to some blocks. Megan and Cueball stand to the right of him.] Child: Vocabulary update: I learned another word today, bringing my total to twelve.
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theambitiouswoman · 7 months
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How Childhood Trauma Can Show Up In Adulthood
Childhood trauma can have a deep and lasting impact on your development, some scenarios we would not even consider to be " trauma" but it comes down to how you as a child perceived the situation. To add to that, you could have had a great childhood factually, or by your understanding, because it is all you knew. I’ll give you an example, do you find yourself putting everyone else before you? Maybe when you were little you had an experience with a parent where they put someone else before you in a situation that was significant to you at the time, and that feeling got registered in your subconscious. Maybe you got rewarded for the experience or reprimanded. It could have been very harmless. You may not even remember unless you start to think about it. None the less the root of a lot of our triggers, habits and insecurities boil down to our childhood experiences, that stay buried in our subconscious and often manifesting in various ways during adulthood.
You have a have a hard time controlling your feelings. You might get super angry or not feel anything at all.
You are scared to fail.
You blame yourself for your mistakes and bad choices from your past and have a hard time forgiving yourself.
You worry about what other people think about you or in general and may feel scared a lot.
You are too clingy or too distant and cant find a balance.
You don't trust yourself to make decisions and need constant validation or someone else to make decisions for you.
You feel really sad and down most of the time.
You suffer from negative self talk, are very hard on yourself and really believe those things to be true.
You constantly criticize others.
You need external validation to feel accepted.
You are always anxious.
You are hypersensitive to criticism.
You are terrified of change.
You find it hard to take compliments and truly believe you are not worthy.
You find it hard to keep good relationships because you're scared of getting hurt and feel like you cant get close to others.
You try to be perfect and want to do everything perfectly because you think it will help avoid bad things from happening.
You might eat too much or too little because you are feeling bad or want to control things.
You can't stop thinking about bad stuff that happened before and might have nightmares or feel like they're living it again.
You may feel like they're not really in their body or like things around them aren't real because of what happened in the past.
You avoid things because they remind you of bad stuff that happened.
Sometimes people stay away from things that remind them of bad stuff that happened.
You might have more health problems like headaches or stomachaches.
You do things that hurt you or others, and you don't even realize it because you learned it from when you were young.
You might work extra hard to be successful because you want others to like you or because you don't feel good about yourself.
You rather be alone because you feel embarrassed or worried about what others think.
You try really hard to control everything in your life.
You water yourself down and put everyone else before you.
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piracytheorist · 7 months
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There is something funny about Twilight, Master Spy of Westalis and Intelligence Agent Extraordinaire, getting so passionate about his fake daughter making friends so he can "gather intelligence about their families" like my dude you're the best there is and depending on a "six"-year-old's social skills is your best course of action?
Methinks it's not "for the mission" you care about Anya making friends, no?
I mean fair enough this dude tells himself that a child who grew up in an orphanage has appropriate communication and social skills like he, a fucking spy specifically trained in infiltrating and extracting information, does.
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The mental gymnastics this dude will attempt to justify his "for the mission!" thinking are batshit insane.
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furiousgoldfish · 8 months
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being around abusers:
high alert: you never know when the abuse is coming
hyper-focusing on the abuser's mood, you're only allowed to feel relief if the abuser seems to be in a good mood, distracted, or focused on somebody else
constant vigilance because they might decide to focus on you any second and you need to be ready
unable to focus on your tasks because you're tense and waiting to see if they'll want something from you, want to do something to you, or start to verbally abuse, provoke, insult, taunt, criticize or humiliate you
always aware of the physical distance between you and how much it would take them to cross it; reaction of panic if they turn your direction or show intent of approaching
quickly forced to think of an escape plan or a fight plan if they do keep approaching you because it is already an intimidation and likely to escalate in violence
anxiety if you're prompted to speak; you are not allowed to say anything positive about yourself or it will be challenged and mocked, you are usually asked to volounteer information and you will be attacked if you refuse. But if you do give info, it will be used against you.
constant effort needs to be put in controlling the amount of rage, or alternatively, helplessness you feel in their presence. You are not allowed to show any symptoms of it, or symptoms of panic
desperate use of logic and rationality in the face of senseless and cruelty of the abuse; you're trying to explain why the abuser should not say and do horrid and cruel things to you, and why you don't deserve it, only for them to do it worse and insist that they're 'saying the truth' or 'listing the imaginary reasons you do deserve it (you are not a person to them)'
attempts to defend yourself from the abuse or exploding and attacking back, only to immediately be accused of abuse and cruelty and 'lack of self control' while the abuser is not even affected by your attempts
the abuser getting anyone in the vicinity to side with them and to participate/enable the abuse, making you feel like your entire environment is hostile and dangerous, and like you are not a person to anyone
All of these can feel normal when you're used to living like that, or if you've grown up in this environment. Having to constantly defend and prove yourself and to have be hyper-focused on those around you and anxiously anticipate their every move, can feel like a normal experience if you haven't experienced any other home environment. This is not normal. If this is how you live, you are living in abuse. None of this should be inflicted at you.
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alchemistofthenewage · 5 months
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How to HELP Children learn?
Tips for Successfully Teaching Children
Be gentle and respectful at all times. Equality is important even if there is an age and intelligence gap.
Create the right environment which is free from stress, pressure and fosters creativity, trust, curiosity and fun vibes. Keep the pace of learning comfortable for the child.
Cater to the specific learning style of the child and learn to observe their areas of interests and listen to what motivates them. Participating and self-expression is essential to keep the child engaged.
Try out a combination of learning methods to help the child understand, such as tactile, movement-based, visual and auditory. Always provide context for what is being taught and why we need to learn it from a larger perspective.
Stick to the basics but also be spontaneous with the curriculum. The right mood for the right subject is important. Take time to present information in an appealing manner that excites the child.
Be in the right mind space attitude and energy when you are going to teach the child. If you lack enthusiasm, learning will suffer.
Teach as per the individual’s grasping power and introduce new concepts only when the foundation is ready for them.
Keep it light and don’t overload or confuse children with unnecessary information. Make sure they have understood before moving forward.
Each individual has subjects that they are more drawn to versus others. Choice is a gift, hence we need to honor the choices of children and understand that each one is born with a unique purpose.
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Feeling very violent rn so here's a very controversial opinion:
Everything after season one of Young Justice sucked.
Look, I know I'm obsessed with the show but that doesn't mean it's good, it means that I'm too deep into it at this point to get out. There are good moments within the other seasons but in general? They were not good.
I'm sorry. I understand that they wanted to be creative and have a neat narrative and deep lore and all that. And they do! The narrative and lore is extremely deep.
But the plot? The characters??
Season one was an actual functional show that balanced character development, plot and dialogue with world building, lore and messaging.
The other seasons do not do that.
Season two bounced back and forth between like 16 characters. We got some development for some characters but even that was minimal compared to the character development in S1. And this isn't me complaining that the og group wasn't in S2 enough. That's not my issue. I would've loved to focus on a new group and I think that Jaime, Bart, Ed and Gar would've been super cool to focus on. I loved what character development they did have and I craved more.
But the problem? The problem is when you have 16 fucking characters that you are trying to develop and shove into a coherent plot and have actual meaningful scenes. There just wasn't enough focus on S2. Imo, S2 was meh because the characters got left by the wayside. The plot, dialogue, world building, lore and messaging was fine, there just seemed to be a lack of heart/warmth in the show because of the characters. It's hard to get invested.
Then holy shit. S3 introduced more characters. And the plot got more contrived and 'big picture' to the point that it started to abstract. It felt like nothing mattered. There were no stakes, you were just watching things happen. There was 50 fucking things happening an episode and 80% of it was lore/world building. It felt like I was studying for a fictional history exam.
I'm pretty sure the main character in S3 was earth 16. Just the entire universe. Because goddamn. We checked in on almost every living being and EVERYTHING was a plot point. Most of it wasn't even relevant to anything happening in the season. Man it was.... it was bad.
And at that point it just wasn't enjoyable at all to watch. I probably should've stopped watching but at that point the sunk cost fallacy had already kicked in. I knew it could be good. Maybe it could be good again. And people were constantly praising it as cinematic genius so I was like 'okay well maybe I'm missing the point? Maybe you aren't supposed to enjoy shows? Maybe this is fine?'
But season four broke me.
The creators heard that people were frustrated by the lack of character focus and the episodes following 72 characters and the episodes switching between 50 different subplots every episode and their solution? Their solution was to take allllllll the different unconnected plots and, instead of evenly spreading them throughout the season, jam them all into 'arcs'. So you had a bunch of mini seasons consisting of 3-5 episodes dedicated to a cast of ~5-8 characters (some of them new). And each of these episodes had unconnected a plots, b plots and c plots.
THAT IS NOT A SOLUTION
Holy shit that is not a solution.
Not to mention the overarching plot of the season, in which we had no fucking clue what was happening until the final episodes where everything became a speedrun to wrap everything up. We literally had no idea what the main plot was until it was ending.
Good god it was bad. It's bad writing!
I know people liked it and good for them. You should like what you like and you don't have to justify it. But for me it was insanity. I'm sorry I actually don't want a season long subplot where Beast Boy is depressed and sleeps all day. I would be cool with it if it had anything to do with the larger story but, surprisingly, spending five minutes watching Beast Boy sleep every episode didn't make for compelling storytelling.
I'm still not over how we didn't even know who the main villain was until the end of the season. And then all of a sudden he does a villain monologue to tell everyone his evil plan and his motives. Super cool actually. I love it when I have no idea what the stakes are for the majority of a show. It's incredibly good storytelling when you leave the audience in the dark about a major player in the plot for all of the plot. And then doing an info dump evil monologue in the final episodes to rush through the explanation??? Fucking fantastic and not a sign of terrible pacing at all.
I'm just so frustrated. The show isn't about being a show anymore. The show is an entire cinematic universe shoved into 20 something episodes. It's desperate to tell every single story at once, audience, pacing and good writing be damned.
I'm so tired of the constant praising of Greg. His whole 'i don't write endings because life doesn't have endings' and 'i don't write cliffhangers, I just leave things open ended' thing is pretentious bullshit. I'm tired of pretending it's not. A good story has an ending. Stories are not life! Some of the best shows I've ever watched had planned endings. And oh my god. The cliffhanger thing... that's just semantics my guy. Greg you write cliffhangers. You can insist they aren't but I'm going to call a spade a spade.
It's also.... I'm fine with explaining things, in fact I love it because it's an excuse to talk about the stuff I love, and I have a fairly decent knowledge of comic book lore. So, I could not only understand what was happening in the show but I was also super enthusiastic about explaining it to people. But hey Greg? Hey buddy? If 90% of your audience doesn't know what the fuck is going on and needs to be familiar with super specific obscure comic characters from the 70's then you might have a problem.
I think I realized halfway through s4 that the most enjoyment I got from an episode was when an obscure comic character would cameo in it. But then I realized that a) they generally weren't explained at all and b) 50% of the time they weren't just hanging out in the background and they were vital to the plot. So to understand who the fuck they were and what the fuck was happening you had to be familiar with... well all of DC comics actually.
Anyway this rant is getting long and unhinged and I don't think there's a point so I'm going to cut myself off even though I have so much more to say on the topic. I think my general point is just that I didn't enjoy watching the later seasons and it's chill if you did and we should all respect each other's opinions ✌️
#rant#oh also the messaging sucked#the messages itself were fine. like 'you should go to therapy if you are depressed' and 'respect people's religions' and#'figuring out your gender/sexual identity is chill af'#those are great messages. the content is great and i don't disagree#BUT HOLY FUCK#yo Zatara ranting about his religion to Fate for 15 minutes is not how you get a message across#messages are supposed to be like themes and subtle points of the narrative#it's not supposed to be a fucking psa where the characters just talk for half the episode and say the message verbatim to the audience#itd be like if in season one M'gann stood up and spent ten minutes talking about the damaging psychological effects of body image issues#and everyone else just sat there and nothing happened and M'gann just kinda spoke about it#or if Artemis was just like 'im going to do a presentation on why child abuse is bad'#its just. thats not. thats not how messages in a plot work#but they didn't develop the characters enough. so instead of s1 where the messages were blatantly obvious#we just had side character zatara who we know nothing about talk about religion like he was doing a PSA for kindergartners#because we don't know his character and he had zero focus so that was literally the only way to get the message across#and im sorry but that's bad writing. if you are sacrificing character plot and narrative for a message then maybe scrap the message#or you know actually have a developed character do the message. like write the message through a developed character so it doesn't#need to be spoonfed to the audience like we're five year olds learning different shapes from a teacher
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"Clients who were ignored children describe all sorts of ways in which being ignored has affected them throughout life. One of the common experiences, and one relevant for therapy, is a lack of expectation that the world will help them meet their needs or manage their feelings. There simply isn't a blueprint for such experiences: for example, when [a] child says, "I'm frightened," and a grown-up will be there and say, "Don't worry, I will make sure nothing can harm you." Instead, for an ignored child either there is no grown-up there, the grown-up is too preoccupied with themselves to be available for the child, they don't understand what the child is saying, they are ignorant of what a child needs, they don't feel that the child deserves any help, or they get so frightened themselves by the child's fear that the child ends up having to reassure them. Whichever version of events a person has experienced, it makes reaching out for help or support not a good idea. The result is another contributing factor to slow progress in therapy."
--Kathrin A. Stauffer, PhD, "Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy: Lifelong Consequences to a Lack of Early Attunement"
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elizabethanism · 2 years
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"In every adult there lurks a child — an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole."
Carl Jung, The Development of personality
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typhlonectes · 1 year
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absurdlakefront · 14 days
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 End The Phone-Based Childhood Now
A long-running survey of American teens found that, from 1990 to 2010, high-school seniors became slightly less likely to agree with statements such as “Life often feels meaningless.” But as soon as they adopted a phone-based life and many began to live in the whirlpool of social media, where no stability can be found, every measure of despair increased. From 2010 to 2019, the number who agreed that their lives felt “meaningless” increased by about 70 percent, to more than one in five.
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furiousgoldfish · 2 years
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Being betrayed by your first ever bond in your childhood (be it parents, caretakers, friends, peers or relationship) puts you in a horrible psychological position, because after experiencing that, your instincts, and your learned experience will constantly clash with each other.
As humans, our instincts and desires are to bond with each other in order to be safe, connected, feel valuable, worthy, loved, taken care of. We generally feel better in a group of people we trust to do us no harm, who keep us company, fulfill our social needs, and will readily aid us in the times of trouble. This, historically, was the safest and the best way for our species to survive, we rely on each other to keep resources available, and to take care of our needs.
However, if your first experience with close bonds came with trauma, exploitation, abuse, betrayal, pain, danger, or something as extreme as being pushed into a suicidal state or close to death, your learned experience is now that bonding with others is highly dangerous, painful, terrifying and extremely risky activity. After this, your brain will keep reminding you during any kind of bonding, that you’re taking a huge risk, and will keep triggering you to the past events and how badly they damaged you, in order to keep you well aware of what could happen if you make yourself vulnerable like this again.
And so you end up in a constant conflict with your own needs and learned experience. You will still long for closeness, maybe even more than a regular person because your social needs have never been fulfilled even slightly, you’re drowning in yearning for something as simple as conversation and approval, being seen as worthy and valuable, the very basics of human connection. But you’re stopped, at your every step, by your learned experience of how risky, terrifying, and potentially deadly would it be, to actually be close to another human being.
And abuse then just builds up more burden on top of that foundation. It’s not enough you have to constantly struggle with avoiding people and wanting to be close, no, you’re also feeling guilty and ashamed, for being betrayed and abused, for how society sees you after that, for feeling the desire for intimacy, for longing to be close even though it hurt you. Abuse will also teach you that it’s your fault you got abused in the first place, so now you feel like external circumstances are internal, and it was something you did in a context of a close relationship that caused you this pain. So instead of avoiding close relationships, you reach for them and them over-focus on your own faults within, trying to locate what in your behaviour is causing others to hurt you so badly. You automatically take responsibility for everything that happens within a close bond, so you take responsibility for the abuser’s actions too, and become unable to view them critically, to condemn them, to put the blame on them for it.
Society will almost always point at you as the problem - diagnose you with ‘trust issues’, or ‘victim mentality’, and will tell you to forgive and open yourself up to love again, (or even worse, claim that you already are loved, but apparently you don’t feel it in any way), causing you to again, keep finding the faults within yourself, and never look for them externally.
Having your instincts tell you that something is dangerous and risky, after you’ve been betrayed horribly and put in an awful state by it in the past, is not ‘having trust issues’. Your ‘mentality’ cannot make anyone abuse you. Love is not something that does absolutely nothing for you and fails to protect you from pain at any point in your life. If you had to fight for yourself alone, unprotected, vulnerable and devastated, and nobody ever stood up for you or helped you, then you can correctly conclude that you were not loved. Love would stand up for you.
None of these are claims you should be forced to defend yourself from, yet this is where the conversation goes, to over-focusing on whatever the victim could have done wrong, and never placing any blame to external circumstances (such as, abusers having access to children). There’s a reason why we, as a society, know not do to fucked up things to children. There’s a reason why it’s different when it’s a child, to when it’s an adult. An adult who has managed to secure enough close bonds with others, will not be crushed by just one betrayal. A child, who is dependent on keeping a bond to survive, who has not yet learned the safe way to develop closeness with others, who is open to any bond they could possibly form, in hope of safer survival, will psychologically be turned against their own instincts, and grow to fight with themselves, and struggle to develop safe bonds, for most or all of their life.
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fiction-quotes · 10 months
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Babyhood is not a time of bliss; it’s one of terror. As babies we are trapped in a strange, alien world, unable to see properly, constantly surprised at our bodies, alarmed by hunger and wind and bowel movements, overwhelmed by our feelings. We are quite literally under attack.
  —  The Silent Patient (Alex Michaelides)
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seaworthee · 10 months
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sorry ive been thinking about it all day but it is sooo 14 year old of daenerys to be like 'harm no child under 12!!' like fuck the thirteen year olds. slash em open i dont care. i'm fourteen and i'm a Grown Up and I know better so all the 13 year olds should also know better! fuck them kids!!
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arlo-venn · 4 months
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Bruh ❔
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