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jwirecs · 1 year

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Recommended BTS Fics of November 💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

10 Hours || @angelikook💕✅

↳ When your three best friends want to stay at school overnight, you can’t say no. After all, nothing will go wrong, right? Well, everything goes wrong, actually, but in ways you never imagine.

Fall Back In Love || @bukguhope 🔞💕💔✅

↳ jungkook somehow grew a reputation of sleeping around on campus, leaving him lonely and inexperienced with relationships. so when you, his old childhood best friend moves onto campus, he discovers what a relationship can feel like as he finds himself falling in love with you

Matilda || @babystrcandy🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, Min Yoongi, came into your life. You both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. But with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true.

The Lucky One || @babystrcandy🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Growing up you only had one goal: beat Jeon Jungkook. Sometimes you’d win, other times you’d lose. Sometimes he’d lose, other times he’d win. But you’d both walk away from the match thinking the other was the lucky one.

Vows || @hamsterclaw🔞💕💔🔄 (not too sure if it ended at part 2, but just incase its still ongoing)

↳ You've been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he's never once retaliated for anything you've done to him. One day you realise you've lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

Already Mine || @i-am-baechu🔞💕💔🔄💯

↳ “I do.” Two simple words that changed her whole world. The man that gave her love that she never had before and a child that looked just like him with her eyes, a story for the ages. It wasn’t until the mornings changed and the warmth he once had turned cold. Nothing made sense but at the same time everything did. All she wanted was him but maybe that's not what he wants...

Rope Bunny (Helping Hands Halloween Special) || @euphoricfilter🔞💕✅💯

↳ Yoongi had never been too fond of Halloween. Hated that one tacky day of the year with every fibre of his being. All it takes however, is your little surprise to convince him that maybe, just maybe, Halloween isn't all that bad.

On Camera || @agustdiv1ne 🔞💕✅💯

↳ jeon jungkook, also known as kookiemonster97, was a youtuber and, more importantly, your boyfriend. your sex life was great, amazing really, but what happens when he asks if he can film you two one day? he did have the equipment, after all.

90 Days || @ttaehyungtrashh💕💔🔄💯

↳ All you want is for your new cat hybrid friend, his unwilling older wolf hybrid brother and his other 5 brothers to keep safe and warm during the winter.

About Love || @mochiimac🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Becoming a best selling thriller author? Part of the plan. Living in the city and isolating yourself from everyone? Part of the plan. Inheriting your late uncles home in the woods, his sassy assistant and fortune after he died mysteriously? Not part of the plan. Oh, and he failed to mention the 7 ‘surprises’ he left you as well. And come to think of it… was his death an accident? Or is your imagination going wild again?

Daddy’s Money Makes The World Go Round || @underthe-northernlight🔞💕💔🔄

↳ The daughter of a filthy rich businessman is gifted hybrids by her father. But if only he knew that would lead to her gaining the confidence she will need to break free from what he deems the right place for her. Follow her as she learns to navigate the worlds and stay alive.

Pet Food || @moonlightkoo💕💔🔄💯

↳ Taehyung never wanted to own hybrids. Jungkook just wanted to be independent. You didn't want anything. But somehow you all ended up together, and nothing better could've ever happened.

Purrfection || @moonlightkoo💕💔🔄💯

↳ Bangtan-Mansion’s security camera footage shows something very interesting.

Things That Matter More || @leewriting🔞💕💔✅

↳ At first, getting a new roommate after your friend had moved out appalled you. Just thinking about sharing your space with a stranger put you on edge, but as the weeks went by and the rent went up you had no other choice but to post that stupid ad. In many ways living with Jungkook is perfect for an introverted med student like yourself. He pays rent on time and is seldom home leaving the apartment quiet and clean. On the other hand, there is the small problem of him stumbling in at three in the morning, hurt and letting blood stain your new carpet.

Chronicles of My Witchy GF || @yoonieper🔞💕✅

↳ Just Jungkook and a few cute tales about his witchy girlfriend~

Claret Cravings | Skin Of The Mother, Mouths Of The Babes || @vvh0adie💕✅

↳ Emotions run high when you tell your lil’ vampire bats that they won’t be drinking cow’s blood this week. It stresses you out, and they unfortunately feel the brunt of it.

Forever || @oddinary4bts🔞💕💔✅

↳ three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again?

Repeat Offense || @gimmethatagustd🔞💕💔✅

↳ The are only two constants in life: the promise of death and the infuriating existence of the man who ruined your life. Will your immortal punishments keep you in an infinite loop, or will you one day be able to rid the world of the evil that is Kim Seokjin?

Resurrection || @bonny-kookoo💕💔🔄

↳ In which you’re saved by the very thing that’s been trying to kill you.

Sunrises & Liquor || @aamalaaa🔞💕💔🔄

�� after a failed academic pursuit and a few meaningless and disappointing relationships, you decided to go back to what you never thought you would: the bar industry. There you find a family, friends, heartache, misunderstandings and one particular barman who just won’t get out of your head.

Three Tangerines || @kithtaehyung🔞💕💔🔄

↳ “when yoongi told you he would be there if you needed anything, this isn’t what he had in mind”

Til Death Do Us Part || @justimajin🔞💕💔✅

↳ If someone told you that you’d be marrying the Kim Namjoon, you would think you were being lied to, or worse, that you were hallucinating. However, fate seems to have it’s own ways of making the impossible possible and before you even know it, the title of Mrs. Kim is bestowed onto you. There’s just one problem: you’re not sure if Kim Namjoon is the person he says he is and the truth of your own identity is dangling by the strength of a mere thread.

Turn Back Time || @raplinesmoon🔞💕💔✅

↳ After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

The Art Critic || @mooniyooni💕✅

↳ (just yoongi being a dad)

Midnight’s Minuet || @bangtansmauyeondan 🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ While gallivanting around the world pursuing his love for music and architecture, Yoongi was forced to come back home when Seokjin, his older brother, asked him for help to run the family business. Having been born with a silver spoon, Yoongi longed for a bit of normalcy and independence; hence, agreeing with Seokjin’s request didn’t come without any of his own conditions— first, he’s going to oversee the hotel’s kitchen; second, he’s gonna let him live a normal life— no luxury cars, no high-rise building apartment, no special treatment. Yoongi was pleased that everything seemed to be going well with his return… until he met you, the roadblock to everything his brother has agreed to.

Camboy!Tae Mini Series || @hisunshiine🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (tae being a wonerful camboy. thats it, we love that.)

Compromise || @here2bbtstrash🔞💕✅

↳ you're torn between the two loves of your life - but maybe you don't have to choose.

Red Riding Hood (Petrichor Drabble) || @purpleyoonn💔✅

↳ It was Halloween in Seoul and you were talking about your home traditions compared to South Korea’s with Haneul and Kingpin when you were interrupted. Now, your mates tried to tease you, but you were the one doing the teasing.

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts social media au #bts werewolf au #bts hybrid au #bts dad au #bts enemies to lovers au #bts established relationship au #bts friends to lovers au #bts childhood friends to lovers au #bts mafia au #bts gamer au #bts recs #bts fic recs #bts strangers to lovers au

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hopelessromanfic · 1 year

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i fkn love au’s man, don’t get me wrong canon is amazing and lovely, but the idea that love can span across any universe just hits different

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pacificwaternymph · 2 years

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I thought of the most adorable Empires S1 Flower Husbands pirate AU ever!!

Scott is the son of a nobleman. As a child, he had a friend by the name of Jimmy, whom he was absolutely enamored with. The two of them had to meet in secret, since Jimmy was a commoner and the son of a sailor, and Scott's father definitely wouldn't approve of their friendship.

When they were little, they had a pretend "wedding," as children sometimes do. Scott stole one of his mother's rings that he knew she wouldn't miss, a simple silver band with a ruby cut into the shape of a poppy, and gave it to Jimmy. In return, Jimmy gave Scott a necklace he made out of an old fishing line and a few pieces of sea glass he picked up along the beach.

Tragically, Jimmy died very young, when he accompanied his father on a trip, and they were hit by a bad storm, sinking the ship and killing everyone on board.

Or, at least, that's what everyone thought.

Fast forward a decade or two, and Scott is now a relatively high ranking officer in the navy. However, he isn't exactly respected by his peers, since many believe he only got the position because of the power his father has.

He's tasked with taking down the elusive pirate known as the Codfather, a nuisance that has been dealing heavy blows to commerce and to the navy itself. He's especially tricky to catch because it's rumored that his ship is protected by sirens.

Scott has every intention of bringing the pirate to "justice," but the Codfather catches wind of this and gets the drop on them by attacking first, taking Scott prisoner.

On the pirate ship, even as a prisoner, Scott is treated better by the pirates than many of his own crew and commanding officers. There's a baseline level of respect that he's not expecting since this is, you know, a pirate ship.

No one is openly cruel or malicious in their actions, and he's not just shoved in a cell and left to rot, but allowed to wander the ship (with supervision) during the day, chat with the crew, even help out with some of their chores.

Even the pirates recognize that most others would not be as generous as they've been with him.

And, the captain is... strange. He's polite and courteous, easily flustered but charming when he wants to be, and honestly kind of shy. Not to mention, he's absolutely gorgeous. Before Scott knows it, he's falling, and he's falling hard.

In the end, it's not a hard decision. The captain offers him a chance to defect, to be part of the crew, and Scott practically leaps at the chance.

About a week into Scott joining the crew, he notices the captain wearing a... suspiciously familiar ring. He hears someone call out a greeting, not using the captain's title but by using his name.

Jimmy.

Scott pulls out the necklace Jimmy gave him as a child, and the two have a dawning realization of "oh... OH"

So that's fun.

Scott asks what happened, since last he heard Jimmy drowned with the rest of his father's crew, and Jimmy admits he nearly did, but, the queen of the sirens, then princess, Lizzie, intervened on his behalf and saved his life. Which is why his ship is now protected by sirens. Lizzie is also married to Jimmy's second in command, Joel.

So then they fall in love get together Scott is now Jimmy's boyfriend and a boost to his reputation (not many pirate captains can say they successfully convinced a noble and high ranking naval officer to defect by seducing him)

(Jimmy is embarrassed by the rumors circulating between the two of them because he absolutely did not seduce Scott. Meanwhile Scott thinks it's hilarious and really plays it up when they're negotiating with other pirates and corrupt navy officials)

So that's the basics. Literally everything I wrote here is just a setup for a cute AU featuring absolute power couple Jimmy and Scott, full of shenanigans, mischief, and tooth rotting fluff.

#listen i really like childhood friends turned enemies turned lovers #empires smp #scott smajor #smajor1995 #dangthatsalongname #solidarity gaming #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #ldshadowlady #pirate au

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hebescus · 1 year

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coming back here to share a good news

#have fun everyone #part-time soulmates (full time problem)#it's giving soulmate au with ridiculous/troublesome signs #or my fav genre of soulmate au : enemies turns out to be soulmate #an enemies to friends to lovers is good too #or childhood friends to enemies to lovers #This is really giving!!!!!#okay let me say it. it's them. it's lawlight. come on.#thank u user @omeleting on twt for the news

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aphspain-pure · 7 months

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Heta-Gakuen AU

Bonus:

Gil and Eliza arguing during P.E.

#hetalia #aph hungary #aph prussia #pruhun #aph austria #aushun #bad touch trio #gakuen au #hungary and prussia are childhood friends/enemies #friends to enemies to friends to lovers or whatever

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muniimyg · 2 years

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THE ART OF WAR (2) // KNJ

after leaving oc heartbroken all these years, kim nam joon has the audacity to return and attempt to win her back. in his words, love is not over.

unwilling to accept that their love is over, kim nam joon puts oc’s patience to the test as he puts his plans into motion. he’s more confident, determined, and ever so willing to grovel at oc’s feet for one more chance

navi | m. list | ask me ! | no taglist

parings:

childhood friend / secret ex-boyfriend nam joon ! + heartbroken / high maintenance ! oc

genre/au:

slice of life

exes to lovers / slight enemies

rich / privileged life au

warnings:

misunderstandings + pettiness + angst

cockiness / jock attitude vs princess / brat attitude

jealousy, implied smut, and sexual tension

note:

friends.. let’s not get our panties in a twist o_o this ch is pretty lengthy + a lil sad ,, pls send ur thots nd lov thru interactions w me <3

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

“Wait, that was the ex?”

Even through FaceTime, you could practically feel Jungkook’s curiosity . No, it was more than that. He was excited. Over time, you had barely discussed Nam Joon aside from the major facts: he was your childhood love—your secret and only boyfriend, he took your virginity and felt a few days later, and he dumped you through text. Oh how Jungkook craved for more of the story from you. He wanted all the details and never got any. Once, he was lucky enough for you to get super drunk and cry over Nam Joon.. The issue is, he was drunk too and couldn’t piece together what you had told him that very night.

Jungkook lives for drama—always has. Nam Joon being back in your life is automatically his favourite thing now and you absolutely know it. Trying to downplay your true emotions, you simply nod and let out a muffled, “mhmm.”

Continuing to get dressed, you showcase two options. A plaid skirt or wide-leg pants to compliment your fitted top. Waving them around, Jungkook picks the skirt. “Embrace the last stretch of skirt season,” he pushes. “Anyways, he’s that ex, right? The ex?”

“Yeah, that was him,” you confirm, zipping the side of your skirt together. Straightening your outfit, you twist and turn around to check yourself out. “Kim Nam Joon in all of his despicable glory.”

“So.. Like.. What did he want? Did you two talk or something? Are you guys getting back together?”

You gasp. “Jungkook!”

“What?! My life is sooo boring. I like yours.”

You tsk. “Did this skirt get ugly? I feel like it’s not as cute as it was when I first bought it—”

“Don’t change the subject.” Jungkook scrunches his nose and squints his eyes, pointing at you. “And yeah, lowkey…”

“Don’t talk about my ex-boyfriend,” you say, scrunching your nose, squinting your eyes, and pointing back at him. You two pout in sync, practically like one brain cell before dropping the act and moving on. “It’s literally not like that,” you explain to him rather cockily, “even if he begged me to, I would never get back together with that selfish—”

“You’re selfish too.”

“Okay, wow,” you laugh. “Go fuck yourself.”

Jungkook laughs too, putting his hands up in defeat. Gathering your things from all over your room, you pick up your phone and send him another glare. Though Jungkook looks like he is still half asleep, he manages to glare back at you. For the second time today, the starring contest ends quickly. Jungkook’s yawns intercepts and you can’t help but sigh.

“You’re hardly awake but you’re so keen on the details? You little gossip girl.”

“Let me live, bitch.” Jungkook yawns once again, “xoxo.”

You two share a hearty laugh. It’s moments like these where you felt most accepted. Something in being friends with Jungkook has always felt so comfortable. Even if you two only met 2 years ago, you two have certainly created an incredible bond.

Like two peas in a pod.

Like a duo.

Like a best friend.

Strapping on simple black heels, you do a quick twirl for him. He judges and sleepily compliments you. “What a slay,” he cheers, “for a dumb bitch.”

Poking your tongue out at him, you can’t help but laugh at this idiot of a best friend of yours. You swing your bag over your shoulders and make your way downstairs to your kitchen. Still attached to your phone, you and Jungkook go over your plans.

“Should I pick you up?” you ask him. Jungkook shakes his head with a tired groan as he sinks into his white sheets.

“It might be raining later.. Don’t you hate the rain? I don’t want to get up. I want to stay in bed today. Just come over and we’ll go out later tonight if you want.. You know, if the rain goes away and washes all the spiders out.”

You give him a sour face. “It’s raining later? Yeah.. No way I’m going out. Just come over tonight.”

“No, you come here.”

“No, you come here!”

“No, you—”

Cough.

Cough. Cough. Cough.

“___, honey, we’re in the dining room! Put your phone down and join us.” You turn your attention in the direction of your father’s voice. Swiftly making a right turn, you waltz your way into the dining room and—

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Nam Joon smiles brightly, suddenly standing from his seat and greeting you with a; “good morning, essa.” Your father smiles warmly at the gentleman before you.

“Well, it certainly isn’t now,” you mumble. Lifting your phone, you see Jungkook’s eyes begin to pop out of his head. “Kook, I’ll call you back. Come over. I’ll treat dinner.”

“Oh my god! He’s there right now isn’t he—”

Before he can finish his question, you end the FaceTime call and clear your throat. Walking past Nam Joon, you walk over to your father and kiss him on the cheek. It’s not every day that he joins you for breakfast. Most days, he’s not even home. When he is, it’s your only time to be affectionate to him and appreciative for all his hard work in making the life you live now possible.

“Excuse ___ and Jungkook,” your father begins as Nam Joon finds his way back to his seat. “They are complete partners in crime and are on the phone with each other twenty-four-seven.” Though the apology is unnecessary, your father does so on your behalf as you take a seat beside Seok Jin.

Jungkook.

Nam Joon takes note of that.

“Could’ve texted me a heads up,” you whisper to Seok Jin as you plump down to your seat. He leans back, offering you a tired smile.

“He said we were getting breakfast and I didn’t know where. In my defense, I was asleep on the way here.” Seok Jin defends himself. You shake your head in disappointment before shoving his shoulder playfully.

“How’d you even get here if you were the one asleep and that one doesn’t drive?”

“Uber. Come on, ___. I know it’s early, but think a little!” he teases, bumping your shoulder. You roll your eyes and redirect your attention.

“Good morning to you all… Except to one,” you say as politely as possible. Scanning the food before you, a smile forms. Before your father can comment on the last bit, you blurt; “breakfast looks so good, dad! You got all my favourites today—”

“Actually, Nam Joon had breakfast delivered to us today!” you father admits.

“Of course he did,” you sneer.

Nam Joon grins, raising one hand to wave and wiggling his fingers at you. You lower your glance at him in response. Picking up a fork, you begin to judge all the food laid out in front of you.

Fruit trays, breakfast sausages, pancakes, waffles, yogurt bowls—ah ha!

“Oh, goodness. I don’t like coconut shredding on my yogurt bowls—”

“That’s mine,” Seok Jin reaches over and takes from your sight. Without much thought, he begins to dig into it. He lets out a moan, completely satisfied with his first bite. “That’s the stuff.”

You look at him annoyed. “It’s just yogurt…”

“It’s free yogurt.. Which means it tastes better.”

You scan over the other plates laid in front of you. Okay, let’s do this again.

Fruit trays, breakfast sausages, pancakes, waffles, Seok Jin’s stupid yogurt bowl—ah ha!

“That omelette,” you analyze, “I don’t like mushrooms so if you don’t mind, may I be excused from—”

“That’s mine,” your dad beams, stretching his hand out for the plate. You pass it to him and he happily takes a bite. “These omelettes are so fluffy!”

Almost immediately, Nam Joon pushes a different plate in front of you. It’s the same omelet without mushrooms. You freeze, unable to react.

You can’t even bring yourself to look at Nam Joon. Instead, you stare at the plate he prefixed for you. All that rings in your head is that this dining table isn’t long enough. It isn’t big enough. He’s sitting across you and it’s too close. You should buy a new dining table.

Is it suddenly hot in here? It’s so stuffy. These windows are useless. Why have these windows for walls if they can’t even fucking open and give you air? Is it usually this stuffy in here?

Okay, stop.

Breathe. Take a deep breath and just fucking calm down!

Like reflex, Seok Jin notices and takes a piece of your food from your plate. He diverts the attention to his playfulness and it makes you feel like the tension build-up had calmed. Seok Jin then slides a glass of water by your side and you happily take a few sips before recentering yourself.

Gulping slowly, you find it in yourself to spare a glace at Nam Joon.

He’s talking to your dad.

You’re thankful.

Except, Nam Joon had just turned to your dad to respond. He had seen everything. He looks at you and feels conflicted.

What the hell just happened? It was just a plate.. Or was it the gesture?

“This is nice… It’s so lovely to see you all together again!” your dad expresses as he munches on his breakfast. It’s like an icebreaker and it only makes you grieve over the fact that this breakfast has just began. “It’s been too long. Now that Nam Joon is back and is working in the company—”

“He’s what?” You put down your glass of water and almost choke.

Your dad points at Nam Joon and looks at you confused. “Did he not tell you? That’s why he’s back. Not too sure why he came back all beaten up, but he’ll be working in the legal department for our company—”

You open your mouth to interrupt.

“Dad, you said you wanted to surprise her so I refrained from telling her myself—”

“Oh, please don’t! Don’t call him ‘dad.’ He’s not your dad, Nam Joon. You have your own.” It takes everything inside you to not gag in front of everyone. Was he truly this delusional? It’s all not making any sense.

Sure, he can be comfortable here. He has his own relationship with Jin and your father… But this is too much. This is too cocky of him. This is too fucking triggering.

Your dad laughs at your possessiveness. “It’s a dream for many fathers to have an only daughter as loving as ___.”

You cross your arms in annoyance. Nam Joon puts his hands up in defense, joining your father’s laughter.

“Sorry, ___. The ‘in-law’ part is just such a hassle to always add in the end.” Nam Joon says, sending with a wink your way.

Seok Jin holds you down as you’re about to make a scene. He clears his throat, warning Nam Joon to take it down a notch.

Is he serious? How could he be this comical? Your father seemed to like the joke, though. He has always liked Nam Joon. This was no surprise.

If your father ever had the opportunity to have a son, he’d prefer someone like Nam Joon. To him, Nam Joon is dependable and soft-spoken.. In a way that still allows him to take accountability and initiative—ultimately making him more than qualified to be a team leader.. No, more than that.

It would make him qualified to run the family company with you.

“Nam Joon, son, where are you staying right now?” your father asks. Like Seok Jin, your father is always genuinely curious. He has always cared for your friends like they were your siblings. You’ve always admired that about him. “Are you back to living with your parents? Your place is pretty far from the company and you still don’t drive.. Are you sure that’s the best place to be right now?”

“Well, I just got back a few days ago,” He did? Did he come to see you right after his flight? Wait, no. That can’t be. He had gotten punched by Jin first.. And then he came to see you. “I’ve been staying with Jin,” you turn to Jin and glare. He gives you an apologetic look. “My room has turned into a nursery for my sister’s baby. I think my parents are living their grandparent dream right now.”

Your father folds his hands together and you can sense it. There’s a look in his eye whenever he gets an idea. Usually, you don’t mind his ideas but knowing where this is leading…

“Why don’t you stay here? You can have your old room back! Our drivers are here all the time, so you’ll have no problem getting to the company. I’m not usually home these days anyways. I’ve been trying to close a deal with our investors overseas, so I’d be more than happy to supply ___ with trusted company. Besides, I know how close you two are.. You two must have missed each other dearly.”

“Yeah,” Nam Joon doesn’t even look at you. He’s smiling at your father, completely winning him over. “I missed her.”

You can’t do this.

Something inside you just wants to throw everything in front of you at Nam Joon. He is so incredibly irritating, you don’t know if you should laugh or cry from how good he is at pissing you off. It’s like you have no more words.

All you manage to say is, “that’s an awful idea, dad.”

“___, excuse me?” your father chuckles. “I don’t like the way you just said that.. Or the fact that you ever said that at all. It just proves my point even more. You need Nam Joon around. He was a good influence on you when you two were younger, what more could he be to you now?”

“Don’t you think it’s a little inappropriate?” you accuse rather sharply.

Your father is taken back.

You two don’t usually disagree on things. It makes him wonder why you’re so bitter all of the sudden.. He swears just a few years ago, this would have been something you would’ve been begging him to agree on—not the other way around. “What? It’s not like you two dated—HA! Who knows, maybe you two should date.. Nam Joon is practically my son already.”

Seok Jin chokes on the water he was downing. Clearing his throat, he comments: “so you’ve established, uncle.”

You shake your head, still insisting on your way. Your father’s attention turns back to you. “Dad, if I’m lonely, I can call Jungkook to hang out with me. If I’m bored, I can go shopping. If I’m feeling a little thirsty I can—”

“Enough!” your father’s tone sounds serious now. “I like Nam Joon for you, ___. Therefore, I like my idea. It’s not awful—your attitude is. I want it fixed by the time I get back from my trip.”

“Dad—”

“Enough. It’s settled and I’m done, ___.” Though he is a great man, you certainly take after his stubbornness and face the reality of meeting your match. “I’m running late. Wash the dishes. I gave Bon the morning off. Rightfully so since your attitude needs some reflecting.”

“I’m not a child—”

“You are my child, ___.” He raises his voice again, making Seok Jin and Nam Joon feel a little out of place. “Do as I say. I hate to leave like this, but my car service is waiting for me. I actually was supposed to leave earlier but I caught Nam Joon on my way out and he insisted on spending this lovely breakfast together.”

“I thought you weren’t leaving until next week,” you quickly connect. “Wait, you’re leaving for that three month trip today?”

“Honey, I told you I was leaving last week which makes next week this week,” he sighs. “I’ve got to go,___.” Your father stands up and makes his way to you. Kissing the top of your head, he looks across the table and says, “Nam Joon, I want you moved in by tonight, got it? I’ll send some help to get your stuff. The spare key is with Bon.”

“Bon is still here?” Nam Joon smiles. Bon is your childhood nanny turned housekeeper. She’s been a friend of your mother since college and has taken the place as your mother and father since she passed and because your father often spent his time away from home. Unlike some people you know, she’d never leave you. It’s more than a promise though. She actually stays and shows up for you. She was there when you first came to terms to your feelings for Nam Joon to the day he dumped you and to now; the healing.

“Of course she is,” you remark. “Some people know how to stay.”

Nam Joon looks at you, a little softer than you expected him to. There’s no smirk, no flirty eyes, or even cocky body language. He looks genuinely concerned and like maybe—just maybe—he got the message. Seok Jin gulps, feeling much discomfort.

“Yes, I can be moved in by tonight,” Nam Joon answers your father, looking away from you. “But I would really feel much more comfortable if ___ was okay with it.”

Nam Joon’s suggestion catches you off guard. You two stare at each other like idiots and your father’s breath hitches. Before he can yell or speak for you, you push your food away and get up from your seat.

“Do what you want,” you say rather weary.“... Both of you. See if I care.”

“___, please—”

“I have dishes to wash.”

“Hey, champ!” Seok Jin cheers, bringing more dishes for you to wash. “Hey, you’re really good at that.”

“Washing dishes?”

“Being the literal definition of sour and sweet,” he deadpans. “You’re a different breed, kid.”

“It’s just so unfair, Jin!” you cry as you put on dishwashing gloves. Seok Jin takes a few plates from the sink and begins scraping off the food on it into the compost bin near you. “It’s always going to be about this.. How they don’t listen and expect me to be okay with it. I feel so invalid and pushed around like some doll!”

Jin puts his hand on your shoulder as you huff in frustration. “___, your dad was just trying to—”

“I don’t have to move in if you don’t want me to.”

His voice still sends you chills. It still makes your stomach turn like you’re about to fly on an airplane for the first time.

“... And that’s my cue,” Seok Jin smiles widely. He pats your head before heading out. “I’m kind of happy I don’t have to go through a whole conversation about this because I don’t stand a chance against your dad and honestly? Just talk, guys. Oh, and don’t kill each other, okay? I like both of you.”

“You like her more than me,” Nam Joon comments. “I can’t kill her. I’d rather die than hurt her.”

“Ahh, but you’ve been there, done that, huh?“ Seok Jin attempts to lighten the mood. When no one responds, he pinching your cheeks. “Maybe that line was said too soon.. Anyways, you have my blessing to kill him.”

Nam Joon’s eyes widen. “Wait, what—”

“I’m gonna call for our Uber. Which means I’m outside and not around to witness a murder so be quick… Anyways, Joon, meet me outside if you live. Peace!” Seok Jin zooms out of the kitchen, leaving you and Nam Joon alone.

Ultimately, you ignore your cousin’s comment and Nam Joon as well. Though you could feel him take steps of faith closer to you, you shut him out and turn on the tap. Soaking the dishes in, you let the warm water run and ease your hands. If life could always feel like this—comforting and consistent—maybe you wouldn’t have gotten all worked up over your father’s offer.

With a level head, it makes sense.

It wasn’t that big of a deal.

If this house is big enough for a summer garden party of 150 guests, it surely can be big enough for you and your ex.

… Right?

Your moment of tranquility and wonderment is cut short when you feel his presence behind you. Nam Joon leans over your shoulders, stopping the tap.

“___, it was going to overflow,” he says gently. “Are you okay?”

You two are cheek to cheek. You know it. You’ve kissed them a hundred times and he has pinched yours a million more… To be this close to him and breathe in his scent of familiar comfort is fucking with you.

“I’m okay,” you say, pushing away from him. “Thanks for considering my feelings over there.. Look, it’s not like I don’t want you to not have a place to stay, but given our situation—”

“What is our situation, ___?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you groan. “Can’t I just have one fucking moment without your mind games? I already got in trouble for—”

“What mind game?” Nam Joon asks curiously, taking a step closer to you. “I’m not playing any games. I’ve been honest with you from the very start and I’m honest with you right now.. What situation, ___?”

“Nam Joon, are you insane? You can’t just come back and pick things up from where you last left them. I’m not there anymore—”

“Where?”

“With you, you know? In love and shit,” you push the words out. It feels like you could puke. You hate the way he’s looking at you too.

“If you don’t love me, then do you hate me?”

“Only when I think about it,” you huff.

“So you don’t hate me?” Nam Joon grins, celebrating a little too early.

“I hate to admit it but,” you pause, unsure if what you’ll say next is worth saying. You say it anyway; “I think about you all the time.”

Through many people coming in and out of your life, the story continues. Friends who pretended to care but were only after the benefit of being friends with the rich girl, boys who liked you for your beauty but never took the time to listen to you, and a father who gave you the world and more… Life wasn’t all that bad.

You never felt unlucky. You were dealt with great cards.

Except, there was one thing that had your focus shifted. One thing that kept you chasing and stumbling for years.

A boy, kind, a bit of a dork, and normal. He wasn’t rich and he didn’t want to be. He spent most of his time with his nose stuck in a book or laying on the grass, staring at the clouds in the sky. He wasn’t much of a talker, but he sure knew how to take the lead. He was honest in an endearing way.

He was good.

Good enough for you.

Then he left and every card you had, you wanted to trade just to have him again. One more moment with him in exchange for everything you have.. That was years ago. That pain, the desperation that ruled over your values; it was only starting to settle and go.

Nam Joon has always had great timing.

Tonight, as it begins to pour, his belongings are probably already unpacked in his old bedroom. His bedroom is all the way on the other side of the hall from yours. It’s smaller than yours (obviously) but it’s charming. You remember the summer your mom and his spent just going over the wallpaper options for it. You remember all the times you two played hide in seek around the house with Bon and somehow always ended up hiding in Nam Joon’s room. Nam Joon’s room is also the same room you lost your virginity to him in.

“It’s raining,” Bon’s voice breaks your train of thought. She’s standing outside your door, leaning against the frame. “Want to go out for a walk?” Before you know it, she’s showing you an umbrella. You don’t see it though. You don’t even sit up to look at her or turn your head.

“No,” you hiss. “I hate the rain.”

“I know,” she snorts. “I just wanted to see if you were really losing your mind.”

“Hey!” you cry, completely aware that she’s just making a joke. The rain brings too many unwanted memories. It’s best for you to stay away and center yourself. “Why would I be losing my mind?”

“For one, your ex boyfriend is here.”

You chuckle. Her answer gets you to sit up.

“Two, you can’t hide in your room forever, kid.” Bon tells you as she enters your room. You’re laying on your bed, just watching your ceiling fan go round and round. Your thoughts occupy you again, you hadn’t noticed you looked lifeless.

Honestly? You kind of feel like it too.

“I know,” you answer her. “And three?”

“Three,” she pauses, scanning your room. “You need to open a window. I know you hate the rain, but this room is so stuffy—”

“I knew it!”

She pauses, giving you a confused look. “Knew what?”

“Nothing, nevermind.” Your mind dismisses the connection you made to breakfast earlier today. You watch Bon head over to your window and open them up. The sound of the rain makes you feel nervous and she knows this better than anyone.

It makes you feel uneasy.

“So, did you help him with his stuff?” You ask this to divert your attention away from the heavy rain.

Bon nods, before taking a seat on the edge of your bed. She reaches over to your nightstand and grabs your hair brush. She then uses it to gesture for you to come to her. Like second nature, you move yourself to rest your head on her lap. She begins to brush your hair, letting the sound of brush bristles be all that you hear for a moment. Then, she sighs.

“Just like how you’re my daughter,” she begins warmly. “He’s like my son, miss ___. I was so happy to see him again. He didn’t have much stuff but the staff your dad sent unpacked for him in less than an hour.. Oh, he grew taller, you know? I didn’t think he could even grow more than he already had before he left.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I noticed.”

“His hair is longer now too. I kind of like it this way. He looks more relaxed—more himself.. And his clothes! Oh, miss ___… They went up a size and his style is particularly odd.” Bon rambles. “I think you need to take him shopping.”

You inhale sharply.

“Miss ___,” she whispers. “Remember what I told you before he left?”

“... Not to go to the airport or else I would have bought the plane and made him stay?” You can recall that day so clearly. Sobbing into her arms as she gathered all her courage and belief in Nam Joon to assure you that he wouldn’t leave you the way he did.

Sometimes, you wish Bon didn’t believe in him the way she did that day. Maybe letting go and process of it all would have been easier. Why? She’s the only one you truly believe in.

Bon laughs at your sincere answer. “No, miss ___. I told you that absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Fuck that,” you scoff. “I call bullshit.”

“Language!” she cries.

You mumble an apology and sit up again. “I’m confused, Bon.”

“You should be,” she laughs before opening her arms for you. “Your feelings are kept away, placed in a box under your bed. Everything with him had to do with memories.. Feelings, moments, experiences—but everything goes. It’s up to you if you want to let it go or find a way to meet again.”

“I’m not understanding—”

“He’s here, miss ___.”

You shrug, “... so?”

“He’s finding a way to meet again.” Bon tells you with a small smile. Her eyes are just so sincere, it almost makes you want to give in.

“Okay, but Bon.. History doesn’t mean much—”

“It means enough, miss ___.”

Silence.

You glare at her. “Are you on his side? Did he butter you up—he bribed you! Did he gift you a painting again? You know how much I find art boring, I can’t believe this!”

Bon simply laughs, patting you on the back for the amusement. She gets up from your bed and makes her way towards your door, informing you that she’ll be back at the end of the week to clean up around the house and spend some time with you.

“Wait, seriously. He gave you a painting, didn’t he?”

“What can I say? I love art.”

You shake her head at her. “Betrayer.”

She pokes her tongue out at you, teasing you. “Have a good night, miss ___. Don’t fall asleep without closing your window. I heard it’s supposed to be a stormy night.”

“What was it? I bet I can find an art collector and get you better one—“

“It was of you, miss ___. To me, it’s priceless. I guess he must have thought the same since we went through a small war for me to walk away with the painting victorious.”

You aren’t too sure what to say when she tells you this. In response, you keep your mouth shut and watch her leave. Then, you just sit there.

Unwilling to move and so clueless of what to do or to think of it. After a few moments and countless overwhelming feelings, you decide on the latter.

You can move on.

Yet that thought made you feel conflicted in so many ways. It’s a good thing Bon left the windows open—she’s right.

It is stuffy in here.

It’s almost 3AM and the rain has not stopped. It also means it’s almost ghost hour. Do you know what that means?

Death.

Aside from that, if anything, the rain is heavier than ever. In the distance, you swear you can hear thunder. You only know this because fell asleep and woke up to the sound of it.

Oh, yes. You fell asleep and didn’t shut your window and now you’re paying the price.

It’s a dilemma.

You’ve laid on your bed wide awake for the past 20 minutes going back and forth with finding the courage to just close that window. You don’t want to close the window, Why? Because the window is wet and it’s too close to the rain and if you’re close to the rain, the sound of it will send you too many chills—or maybe the chills are coming from a ghost—that you might fall out of your window and—

Okay, pause.

That’s a bit much.

The point is; you’re scared shitless and you hate it here.

Fuck Bon for leaving your window open.

... No, God bless that woman. She single handedly is the reason why you can live, laugh, love.

Oh my god, what the hell is going on with you?! Ghost hour is crackhead hour, isn’t it? How fitting.

You kick your sheets away and put on your slippers. Before you can even convince yourself from doing what you’re about to do; you’re there. It’s like your own body betrayed you.

Is this what self loathing feels like?

It feels like you’re standing in front of Nam Joon’s door half asleep and completely afraid. It feels like a mistake—like the weird feeling you get in your tummy before something bad happens.

Oh my god.

You never realized how creepy your big house looks when it’s this dark. With the thunder and rain? No fucking thanks!

You knock on his door aggressively and to your surprise, he opens it immediately.

It would be a complete lie if Nam Joon hadn’t hoped the rain would scare you his way. It’s always just been a thing between you two. The rain reminded you of the day your mother passed and he had been there to hold you.

When he lived abroad and it rained, he thought of you nonstop. He wondered if there was anyone keeping you safe the way he knew he could and did. He wondered if you got over it and can go for walks, jump on puddles, and enjoy the background noise that eases him.

Seeing you here.. Confirms that maybe no one has held you in a while and that jumping in puddles and listening to the rain is still something in your bucket list. Instantly, he feels a rush of guilt kick in—something he’s been feeling a lot today.

He shakes it off. There’s no better time than now to change how things are between you two.

Nam Joon reminds himself that he is here now and that’s what matters because after a long time; it’s this again.

It’s just you and him against the world.

“Hey, you’re here?” Nam Joon scratches the back of his neck, buying himself some time to register that you’re actually standing right in font of him. He had a feeling you’d be feeling uneasy tonight; he just wasn’t sure to what extent. “I was just about to check up on you—”

“I didn’t know where else to go,” your voice shakes, practically giving in. “Can I stay with you?”

#bts fic #namjoon angst #namjoon fic #rm fic #bts rm fic #bts angst #namjoon e2l #bts exes to lovers #bts enemies to lovers au #bts f2l #bts childhood friend to lovers

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light-yaers · 2 years

Text

Right Where You Left Me: Chapter Five

Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, implied sexual content, flirting, eventual sexual content/smut, 18+

Find the chapter list here

Word Count: 7.2k

Chapter Five

Unsurprisingly, thanks to your mother’s ability to persuade people to do anything, Poe and Shara choose to stay the entire Thanksgiving weekend. You wake on Friday morning to a bustling house, full of your weird cousins, overbearing aunts and uncles, and now Poe.

He’s sat at the breakfast bar, cup of coffee in his large hands, chatting away with your mom while she fries eggs at the stove. You stop abruptly at the scene, not understanding the sudden feeling that washes over you; nostalgia mixed with nausea?

Seeing Poe like this again is strange. Chatting to your mom, drinking from your mugs, sitting like he belongs in the house again. Poe from seven years ago blended into the walls from how much he was present. If it wasn’t every day, it was almost every day that he ended up following you back home, joining you for some after school snacks or to watch a movie in your room.

But now, seeing him here—hair tussled from beer drunk sleep, wearing his pyjama top and a soft pair of shorts, grown—you can feel your heart crawling its way up your fucking throat.

When you’d spent years trying to forget him, trying to erase him and the fight and the past from your memory altogether, it feels oddly exposing having him back suddenly.

Like he’d never fucking left.

Like you’d always stayed right where he left you.

Almost.

“Good morning,” he says, voice still rough from sleep. He wakes you from whatever inner turmoil you were enduring, only for your cheeks to flush violently at being caught off-guard. The two of them, Poe and your mom, look at you like you’re a fish out of water.

“M-morning,” you manage to stutter out, wiping your hands over your tee before depositing them into the pockets of your sweatpants. You stroll forward abnormally, as if you’ve never stepped foot in your own kitchen before.

Pouring yourself a cup of coffee has never felt so observed. Poe’s stare is burning a hole through the back of your neck the whole time, as he sips away at his own mug.

“Sleep well?” he asks, giving you a side-eyed look.

“Fine,” you reply bluntly, not fully capable of having a conversation when you’re feeling this way. Snapping out of it simply didn’t come easy.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” your mother chimes in, and the scoff that exits Poe’s mouth turns your coffee sour. You take a small sip, frowning at the way it burns your tongue.

“I slept fine,” you repeat. “There’s just—,” you stop and gesture to the whole room, the whole house, flailing your arms like a manic. “A lot of people in one confined space,”

“How has your social battery run out already?” Poe asks, snickering along with your mother. They’re enjoying this, the teasing, the comfort, the normalcy. You’re lost for words however, still riding the coattails of the heart-to-heart that you and Poe had the night before.

Honestly, if you could pack in Thanksgiving this year and watch films on your own, you would. Having family around is always nice, but only for a certain amount of time, and only when you’re not suffering from the Poe effect—

AKA: dealing with his teasing, his jokes, his snide remarks, but especially—the moments where you catch yourselves actually talking. Normally, emotionally, openly. It was far too much to deal with in one go, and now you had it for a long fucking weekend.

“Sometimes, all I want is the enjoyment of my own company,” you reply to him, taking another sip of coffee. “You’d know all about that though, given your self-centred nature,” you add, just so you can make an unnecessary dig.

Poe takes it on the chin, tapping his mug as he purses his lips. “Okay, that was a good one,” he admits, and for a second your eyes widen.

Did the golden boy just compliment you?

Immediately, you’re filled with a smugness that makes you smile. “Thanks for shoving your ego up your ass for two seconds to admit that, Poe. I really appreciate it,” you say sarcastically.

Poe lets out an owwww, miming himself being stabbed in the chest. He holds an invisible dagger in his heart. “Ouch. You’re being cut-throat today,”

“Today?” your mother pipes up. “She’s like this all the damn time now, Poe. Some days I sit and wonder what happened to my sweet, socially acceptable daughter,” your mom flips over an egg while you scowl.

“Such a shame the 1950’s are long gone, Mom,” you breathe out.

“Such a shame,” she mimics you, shooting Poe a playful stare. He lets out an abrupt chuckle, short and sharp. It’s been a day and your mom and Poe already have inside jokes again. This just wasn’t fucking fair.

You slam your mug down on the counter next to Poe, half hoping it would make him jump, but all it does it make him perk a brow at you. You peer down at him, scowling. He looks up at you, sleepy dust still in his eyes.

You chose violence today, huh? he mouths.

Shut the fuck up, you mime back.

“So,” your mom starts, and the two of you immediately turn to her, as if you hadn’t exchanged any silent words. “What are you kids going to do today?” she asks, placing eggs onto a plate. “Oh! You could go to the lake, just like old times,”

“The lake?” Poe’s eyes widen, and you know he’s been hit with a memory.

You know he has, because you experience it, too. The flashback hits you like a brick to the face, and suddenly you’re back in your thirteen-year-old body—standing at the edge of the lake on the rocky shore, drenched head to toe with murky lake water.

You’re scowling, the same as you are presently, but this is worse. You’re angry. The kind of anger that teens feel when they’ve been humiliated. And who was the culprit, you ask? Of course, it was Poe fucking Dameron.

He’s laughing hard, along with three other guys. Older by a year, freshmen in high school; Poe’s new friends since he started school last September. You’re still in middle school, floating through your last year and praying for it to end quickly. Only a few months lie between you and your fourteenth birthday.

Yet you’re here—trying not to throw a tantrum after Poe pulled you into the damn lake, just to make his new friends laugh.

“It’s not funny, Poe!” you wail at him from the dock, after scrambling to get out of the water first. Him and the other boys are still in the lake, giggling like plotting otters.

“It kinda is,” he replies, shouting over their chuckles.

God, you’re so mad at him that you don’t know how to think, don’t know how to speak. The more they laugh, the more you grab at your soaked clothes in an attempt to ring them out. It doesn’t work.

“She looks like a wet dog,” one of the boys says cruelly.

“No, no, worse than a dog. She looks like a cat that just fell in the bathtub,” another one pipes up.

“She looks like a wet dog, but is wailing like a wet cat,” the third one says, before the three of them descend into immense laughter at your expense.

You try not to listen, try not to let their stupid and childish words get to you, but that’s just the thing—you’re a kid. A younger kid, a girl, Poe’s friend. And he’s not doing anything to stop this from happening. He’s just laughing, snickering, making fun of you in front of older boys so he fits in.

You remember the way his middle school friends used to treat you. Never bothering to learn your name, never bothering to care. Poe’s friend.

It was happening all over again.

You walk home alone, crying as you stumble the mile and a half back on your own. Cars pass and you can see drivers staring at you. Soaking wet and holding your trainers by your fingers, swinging them back and forth as you secretly thank God for how your tears are hidden in this state; you’re already wet; they simply blend into the rest of your drenched skin.

Poe was never truly mean to you, not really. Just jokes, just laughs, but he then made it up to you when you were alone. Hanging out in your room, watching another movie, baking banana bread with your mom or drinking Shara’s horchata during studying sessions.

But this time it felt real. It stung you to your very core.

When you make it home, you lock yourself in your room. You strip off your lake infested clothes and slip on your comfy pyjamas, cuddling up in bed until you feel better. You listen to music, shut your eyes, and imagine a scenario in which Poe had actually stood up for you.

Hey! Knock it off, guys. That’s my best friend.

Three knocks on your door burst your imaginary bubble. You mumble in bed, and the door slowly shoves open to reveal a freshly showered and changed Poe Dameron.

He’s got this look on his face that’s a mixture of guilt, of hurt, of all things relating to how awful he knows you felt from before. You can see it as clear as day, you know he’s going to apologise until you eventually forgive him for the umpteenth time, but a part of you doesn’t want to this time.

He’s done it one too many times.

You turn away from the door, bundling yourself up in your duvet. “Go away, Poe,” you let out, not bothering to act stoic or strong; you feel like shit and he knows he’s part of the reason.

“I didn’t expect them to be so horrible,” he lets out. “I... I didn’t think they’d—,”

“I said go away,” you try again, clamping your eyes shut. When you’re thirteen, everything feels like the end of the world.

“I’m sorry for tugging you into the lake,” he says strongly, shutting your door behind him as he enters your room, completely ignoring your wants for him to leave. You say nothing because that’s only half an apology.

He steps forward again, so he’s peering over your mattress. “Come on, I said I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I really am,” he begs.

Poe did this often. Fucked up, made you feel awful, but always apologised.

“It wasn’t just the lake,” you let out smally, allowing yourself to stick your head out from under your duvet. You still refuse to look at him, however. “You didn’t stick up for me,” the way the words tumble from your mouth sound pathetic in your eyes, but it’s too late to suck them back in.

“What?” he lets out, sitting down on your bed to hear better. He leans over you strongly, trying to get a look at your face. You shove yourself further into the wall.

“Doesn’t matter. Just go,” you force out. “Please,” you urge.

Poe’s silent for a few seconds, eyes roaming your duvet for any sign of your actual expression. He stays still for it, but you can still feel his eyes all over you; up and down, scouring your ear and hair and trying to get a glimpse beyond.

You think he’s about to leave, but instead he shuffles himself so he can plant his legs beneath your duvet. He wiggles himself under the covers next to you, plopping his head down on your second pillow and staring at the ceiling.

Beneath the cover, his hand trails the mattress until he can clasp onto your fingers. You let him do it, and you’re furious with yourself, because you’ve always fucking let him apologise for things that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

“I’m sorry for not saying anything. They were being cruel, I know. I just—I’m sorry. High school is... weird without you,” he says, and you know he’s being honest which is the most damaging thing. “This whole day was a write-off, okay? It won’t happen again. I promise,”

You let out a sigh, a shaky one.

“You always say that, Poe,” you let out. “And then it happens again, and again, and again,”

Poe repositions himself then, until he’s behind you and his arms can snake around you. You let him hug you and embrace you, and as much as you want to be mad, your heart erupts into a flurry of butterflies.

Poe Dameron is cuddling me.

“This is the last time. I promise,” he whispers.

I promise.

You take in his words, before shuffling round to finally look him in the eye. Your eyes are still glassy, face still blotchy and puffy from crying and walking home in the cold, drenched. He frowns at you when he gets a good look. That’s when he gently grabs your head and pulls you into his chest, just holding you there, feeling you, giving you a proper genuine apology.

“I promise,” he repeats gently.

You accept it because you’re young and an idiot. Of course, you do. It’s Poe.

“Okay,” is all you say.

He holds you like this for a while, you don’t know how long. Long enough for you to fully forgive him. Long enough for him to be let off the hook.

You never go back to the lake with Poe again. The fight happens and he moves away before you get the chance.

“You two had some great times there, don’t you remember?” your mom continues, cracking some black pepper over the orange yolks of the fried eggs.

“No,” you say bluntly, quickly, tapping your mug when you can feel Poe’s eyes land on you from the side. “I don’t remember,” you add in the same tone, before picking up your mug and strolling out of the kitchen immediately.

Your mom and Poe don’t say anything as you leave, just stare in awe at you and wonder what triggered such a worse change in your already plain behaviour this morning. Your mom doesn’t know, obviously, but Poe—he knows. He knows because he’s got guilt written all over his face.

His eyes follow you until you turn the corner and out of view.

You coop yourself in your room for a few hours, recharging your tired social battery while trying (and failing) not to think about Poe. He was stuck in your brain, name floating around your mind endlessly as you remember every small detail of that time at the lake, and the apology after it.

There was something particular about that time, though. It was the only apology where Poe had ever acted that way with you. Soft, caring, like he truly meant it this time. And to be honest, he kept his promise—he never acted that way again, never made fun of you to fit into a friend group, never went back on his apology.

That didn’t stop the fight from happening, or him leaving. Nothing could have stopped that.

And because of that, the inner conflict raging within you was close to its breaking point. You’re torn between falling back into place with Poe, no question, or coming to terms with the fact that you’ll never be friends again. In your head, there is no in between, no option to actually try and get properly close again.

It was all or nothing.

And you don’t know which one you want more.

Your phone goes off abruptly, pulling you from your thoughts. It’s him.

meet me out front in five mins.

You kiss your teeth at his text, whacking your phone back down on your mattress. Not two seconds later, your phone buzzes again. Three times.

i know you read that last message.

come on.

please.

Poe Dameron saying please was a rare occasion, reserved solely for being kind to waiters and waitresses in restaurants. Whatever he’s planning now, you want no part of; but it’s impossible to deny the subtle curiosity that circulates your mind, next to the wariness. He wants you for something, that’s for certain, but whatever it is you can imagine it’s going to hurt.

Emotionally, maybe physically, because things always tend to hurt whenever you’re alone with Dameron. It’s too much, too overstimulating, and tiring and emotional, digging up the past in a way that leaves you both exposed and out in the open that it stings like fresh sun burn.

You read his messages again, milling over every word but ultimately coming back to the last—please.

You get yourself up and change clothes, running a brush through your bedhead and wondering whether this occasion calls for make-up. Probably not, but you still slap some on your face haphazardly, wanting to be ready for anything the lacrosse captain throws at you.

You head downstairs and slip on your trainers, grabbing a house key before opening the front door. And then you wait, sat on the front doorstep as the sun disappears behind a cloud in the sky.

Poe’s nowhere to be seen; you poked your head around the corner to the kitchen and he was gone; and outside is all the same. He meant the front of the house, right? It’s been five minutes, maybe he’s just running late?

Ten minutes pass before you admit defeat.

Flake.

As soon as you stand up to head back inside, Shara’s car comes racing around the bend. Poe slams on the breaks harshly, almost giving himself whiplash and you a fucking heart attack. He pushes the driver’s side door open at the speed of sound, smacking his hands on the roof of the car as he turns to you at the door.

“Sorry I’m late!” he yells quickly, and you swear you can see sweat dotting his brow. He looks flustered. “Abuelo was talking my ear off and I couldn’t get away in time,” he explains, and you let out a sigh as you stroll towards the car. “He misses you, by the way,” he adds as your reach the passenger side door, gripping the handle tightly.

“It has been a while since I saw him,” you let out, tugging the door open. Poe dips back down into the driver’s seat, slamming his door shut as you slide yourself into the seat next to him. When you slam your door shut, silence descends over you both.

Not the awkward kind, the kind that makes you aware of each other’s presence. Breathing in sync, hearts pumping blood around your veins, minds pelting you both with thoughts.

Being silent next to Poe Dameron was unbearable.

“Come see him tomorrow. My mom’s gonna be with him this whole weekend anyway, thanks to your mom letting us stay,” he gulps down some subtle nervousness, but what about, you have no idea.

Softly, unafraid, you turn to him and catch his eye, looking at him tiredly. “Where are we going, Poe?” you let out in a way that fully tells him to be kind with you today.

Poe taps the steering wheel. “To right a wrong,”

He pulls the handbrake and puts the car in drive, setting off before you can even breathe in response. The drive is silent the whole way, bar the crackle from the car radio and the occasional bump in the road. Every few minutes, you feel Poe’s stare on the side of your face. He’s nervous, it’s as clear as day. He’s flustered inside and questioning this entire trip, but still he persists.

Only when he turns down the gravel road to the lake do you realise what he’s doing.

To right a wrong.

“Right,” he mumbles to himself, switching off the engine and getting out the car. You follow him, arms wrapped around yourself as the two of you stroll towards the dock. When you reach it, you stand side by side—just like when you were kids.

The lake looms before you. It looks smaller now that you’re older.

You let out a sigh. “Is this where I get to push you in?” you ask.

“You remembered,” he says softly, swallowing afterwards as his throat gets drier and drier. “I knew you remembered this morning. I could see it on your face,”

“Yours too,” you reply. Poe pauses for a few moments. Birds fly over the lake, their reflections landing upon the surface like shooting stars in the sky.

“That was the last time we came here,” he says thoughtfully. “I didn’t realise until today that that was the last time,” he’s so focused on the last time that you know what’s coming. He’s probably gonna say something soppy, something heartfelt, and then he’s going to launch himself into the lake to make up for being an asshole when you were thirteen.

You’re not sure if you actually want it. Another apology, another attempt to make it better, because it ultimately all fizzles away after a while.

Sure, you were back in each other’s lives after so long, and sure, you want to fix your wounds as much as he did, but all of this—these trials and attempts to sew up all the lose threads and stitch every lining—it was exhausting for both of you.

“Listen, Poe—,”

“I’m not gonna throw myself into the lake, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he cuts over you, utterly reading your mind. “I’m not about to launch into some speech about making amends either. I hate sentimentality just as much as you do, you know,” he pauses to take a breath, to kick a pebble into the lake. You both watch the ripples as they cascade over the surface. “I just wanted to come here together so that the previous time wouldn’t be called the last,”

You scuff your shoes on the dock. “Okay,” you let out, along with a long pent-up breath.

“God,” Poe breathes out, squatting down suddenly and cupping his face in his hands. He wipes his hand over his cheeks, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know what it is about being back here—with you, in this shitty little town that we grew up in—but I feel weird,”

“That makes two of us,” you agree, squatting down to sit at the edge of the dock next to him. You dangle your legs over the end, shoes almost hitting the water. “Waking up this morning to you in my house, having coffee with my mom like it’s no big deal; that messed with me a bit,”

“I could tell,” Poe says, before he plops himself down next to you, mimicking the way you’re sat. “Surprise was all over your damn face. That’s always been your give away,”

You scoff. “You can’t fucking talk. It’s plain as day to see exactly what you’re feeling on your face, too,”

Poe perks a brow at you. “Really?” he lets out. You nod at him, smiling with amusement at his bewilderment. “People... well, past girlfriends and friends and all that, they’ve all said I look pretty emotionless,”

“Emotionless? Were they all blind?” you reply, but Poe’s confusion still doesn’t falter. He fiddles with his fingers in his lap with anxiety, pausing for a few moments to ponder his thoughts and turn them into words.

“No,” he says, more serious than before. His tone and mood have shifted into something much more thoughtful. “I think they’re right,” he contradicts you, and you’re too stunned to even ask why he’s taking this conversation too seriously.

He turns to you then, staring directly into your eyes without hesitation. “It’s just you,” he lets out. “You’re the only person that’s ever been able to read me like a fucking book,”

He says it so plainly that you don’t know what to think. Spilling something so deeply personal in such a serious way hits you to your very core; because he’s right. From day one, you’d been able to know exactly what Poe was thinking, and he you. Even after seven long years, you both can do the same. It took a few weeks to switch it back on, but now you were here, back at the lake, alone, hearts on your goddamn sleeves—

And Poe was absolutely right. Always had been, always was, always will be.

That was one of the main things you despised about Dameron—that whenever he chose to answer deep questions or be open, he was always fucking right. Always.

“Sorry,” he says suddenly, and you finally allow yourself to breathe. You don’t look away, not for one second.

“What for?” you whisper.

“For always being right,” he says strongly, swallowing down more nervousness. The breath hitches in the back of your throat immediately, causing your eyes to start watering. Quickly, you whip your stare off his; purely from how it’s too intense to look at him like this. He reads your damn mind like a doctor’s waiting room magazine every fucking time.

“God,” you whisper, trying not to splutter over the words as you feel a strong vulnerability rise up into your chest. “I hate it when you do that,”

“I know,” he says, finally looking out over the lake again. “I hate it, too. When you can just— know everything about me with a single fucking look,”

A wistful sort of feeling overtakes you then, as you look out across the disappearing ripples in the lake and the reflections of trees against its surface. You grip the edge of the dock with a ferocity that turns your knuckles white. A shiver pelts itself down your spine, making your hairs stand on edge and nerve endings erupt with electricity.

You were thirteen when you were last here, and now you’re twenty-one. You thought things would be different, but it’s not. It’s actually exactly the fucking same.

“The last time we were here, you humiliated me,” you begin out of nowhere, and Poe turns to you again, hanging onto every fucking word. “You were cruel, you were mean, and all I remember thinking is... would a best friend really do that?” you take time with your words, saying them gently. “If I’m being honest, Poe, after the fight I really expected to never see you again,” his face drops ever so slightly into something sullener. “But then, you showed up out of the fucking blue and it scared the shit out of me—still kind of does—and I thought the worst feeling would be realising that we just... didn’t know each other anymore, not like we used to,”

You turn to him then, landing your eyes upon his and not caring about how yours are getting glassy and emotional and tearful. He looks exactly the fucking same, as his eyes scan your face; your jaw; your nose; your eyes; all of you.

“No,” you continue, even softer this time, just so he can hear it, just for him. “The worst part of it all is that I still know everything about you and always will. That no matter the time or distance, I’ll always fucking know you through and through, Poe. It’s not something we can just—switch off—it’ll always be there,” he lets you ramble to your hearts content, listening and feeling every word. “That’s the hardest part. Because I tried, for seven fucking years, to not know you anymore, Poe. And I thought it had worked, until I saw you again and realised, we’re both exactly the same as when we had that fucking fight,”

You finish finally, breathing heavily as the last of your words pour into the lake, alongside your heart. It feels gross being this honest, but some part of you couldn’t stop the words from forming. The look on Poe’s face says it all—he understands everything you fucking said, because it’s the same for him.

The not knowing was hard, but the realisation of knowing is even worse.

You and Poe will always fucking know everything about each other, even if you don’t want to anymore.

Suddenly, not taking his eyes off you, Poe starts unbuttoning his shirt. You emerge from your thoughts enough to widen your eyes and cough abruptly. “What the hell are you doing?” you say quickly, looking at him like he’s insane.

“I’m launching myself in the fucking lake,” he pulls off his shirt, revealing his bare chest, before he starts on his shoelaces frantically.

“Why?” you lean towards him. “You said you weren’t going to—you—why?”

“Because,” he tugs off one shoe and starts on the other. “You just fucking spilled your guts and got it spot on,” other shoe gone. “And the last time we were here, I ruined your fucking day,” socks off. “So,” he says, standing abruptly and quickly undoing the buttons on his jeans. He slips them off while you peer up at him, gobsmacked, and flings them down the dock.

Poe Dameron looks down at you, in just his fucking boxers, breathing heavily, and says—

“I’m jumping in the fucking lake,”

Without any hesitation, Poe cannonballs into the fucking lake.

“Poe!” you yell, standing quickly as he disappears under the water. You cover your face as you’re pelted with small drops of murky water, but you don’t care at all. You care about him, as much as it wounds you, and you don’t want him to die or get hypothermia or pneumonia or all of the above. “Poe!” you scream again, louder this time, when he still doesn’t emerge from beneath the surface.

A split-second decision makes you tug off your jumper, pulling it over your head and throwing it behind you. You slip off your trousers and pull off your shoes, stripping down to your bra and pants and not thinking at all when you fucking throw yourself off the dock.

As soon as you hit the water, the cold seeps into your very bones. It hits your chest harshly, spiralling through your limbs until your fingers and toes go numb.

Before you can kick yourself up to the surface again, hands clasp themselves onto your waist and hoist you upwards to the sky. Poe and you emerge from the depths together, spluttering and coughing and shivering incessantly.

He hugs you to his body safely, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his torso beneath the surface, just to have something to clutch onto.

“Are you fucking insane?” you wail in his face, wiping sopping hair out of your own. Poe shakes his head like a wet dog.

“You fucking idiot,” he replies, slight angry angle to his brows. “You really jumped in after me?”

“I thought you’d fucking drowned!” you yell, and it’s enough to start an all-out fight between you.

The endless back and forth of Poe calling you an idiot for jumping in after you, you calling him insane for doing it in the first place, him saying you defeated the purpose of the jump altogether, and you screaming at him that you thought he’d died, that he’d scared you horribly, that you’d thought the worst.

“Just don’t fucking scare me like that ever again, or I swear I will rip your balls clean off!” you scream after a few minutes of back and forth, and Poe finally shuts his damn mouth.

He looks at you thoughtfully, arms wrapped strongly around your torso and sitting at your lower back, palms against bare skin. You’re chest to chest in nothing but your underwear, breathing heavily to recover from all the energy used to shout at each other.

But ultimately, you’re both fucking idiots.

You both jumped in the lake for each other when neither of you needed to.

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” Poe finally speaks, calmer this time. He squeezes you subtly, reminding you that he’s got you. “Thanks for—,” he coughs awkwardly. “Thanks for jumping in to try and save me, dumbass,” the smile that slowly upturns onto his lips makes your chest feel fuzzy.

The sun begins to set on the horizon, casting an orange glow over the lakes, once again, calm surface.

You can feel Poe’s pulse boom under his skin. You can feel him breathing, softly and comfortably. You can just feel him— and Poe has always felt like this. Alive, sparkling, soft. His skin is annoyingly perfect, and he’s always had such a nice complexion and smells good; even when he’s shoulder deep in murky lake water, he still smells like something sweet and woody and rustic, and it deeply pisses you off.

“What?” he asks abruptly, and only then do you realise you’ve been getting closer to his face while looking like you’re about to murder him. Quickly, you jolt back again, so there’s another heads distance between your noses.

“You’re just so—,” you start, but struggle to find the right words to say. There’s no point in lying because he’ll know immediately, so you just say it. “You’re always so perfect,”

Poe’s face pops in surprise. You can feel his fingers as they reposition themselves on your back. “What do you mean?” he asks, chuckling out the words statically.

“Just—you. Your hair is always shiny, and your skin is always glowing and now, you’re older and broader and just all round fucking perfect,” you let out, annoyance obviously all over the words.

“I don’t know if you’re complimenting me, considering the way you’re looking at me, right now,” he says, confused.

“It is a compliment, asshole. I just called you perfect,” you shove out.

“Yeah, but you don’t seem particularly happy about it,” he lets out, more laughter laced within his tone. “You jealous?” he sends you a smug, pretty boy smile. You scoff.

“In your dreams. I love myself, thank you very much,” you say

“What about me?”

“What about you?”

It’s like he freezes, but he still asks. “Do you love me?”

Why Poe was asking if you loved him, you didn’t know, but that didn’t stop your brain from immediately screaming yes yes yes. You wanted to punch yourself in the face, because the fact was—yes—you love Poe Dameron. He was your best friend for half of your life, your number one, and that closeness made you adore him.

Despite the annoyances, the way he was always the golden boy, the perfect one, the smarter and better and brighter one, that didn’t stop you from looking at him and knowing immediately that he was probably your favourite person in the whole world.

But here, now, floating in a murky, freezing lake with the sun setting and his arms around you and his eyes scanning every inch of your face—

You couldn’t say it, because it would be too much.

“You can read my mind. Work it out for yourself,” you let out instead, before pulling yourself away from him abruptly. You swim back to the dock, hoisting yourself up and out of the water. Poe clambers out of the lake after you, as you start fiddling with your jumper.

When he stands to full height, that’s when you both clock eyes—and bodies.

Your underwear is soddened and drenched and, as a consequence, has turned see-through. Sure, Poe was a strong man, but as soon as his eyes hit your chest you knew—he could see the outline of your nipples and his brain has gone into overdrive. Slowly, intentionally, he scrapes his gaze across your bare skin. You feel every time he stops in place; your collarbones; your wrists; your thighs; back to your face.

You swallow, feeling the intensity of his gaze, as you both indulge for too long. The lines and curves of his body look different in this light—they look softer, warmer, less harsh. His chest is bare and home to a few hairs. You can see every bit of stubble on his chin, every shine of his dark curls, every spec in his brown eyes. His hips are new to you, sleeking down in that signature V-shape and only jutting out at his thighs. His legs are built and strong, and his knees lead down to soft and defined calves.

When he swallows, you note the bob of his Adam’s apple. Your gut jolts immediately, sending a signal to parts of your body that you weren’t expecting.

Two ex-best friends stand on a dock, soaking wet, practically naked, staring at each other like they’re ready to rip off the remainder of the fabric covering each other within seconds. It sounded like a cliché rom com, not like something that would ever happen between you and Poe.

A full body shiver makes you twitch, and suddenly it’s cold. It’s fucking freezing and your nipples stand on edge and your lips are going blue. “Ffffucking hell,” you say, finally breaking away from the sexual tension. “It’s fucking freezing,”

“Come on,” Poe says, picking up all of your clothes. “Let’s get warm in the car,”

He guides you to the car, gentle as he places a hand on the small of your back and is wary of where to touch you. He opens your door for you, dropping your clothes into the back seat as he rounds the car to the trunk and pops it open. “My mom always has emergency blankets,” he says from the back, but you can hardly hear him over your stuttering teeth.

Poe gently drapes a blanket over your lap, as soon as he drops himself into the driver’s seat next to you. He wraps himself up like a burrito in one, too, before switching on the engine and turning up the heat to high. The radio plays a love song.

This isn’t awkward at all. Poe just saw my nipples and now we’re both naked in his car, listening to a love song. Brilliant.

He coughs next to you, just to break the silence. “I didn’t see anything,” he lies.

“You saw my boobs, Poe,” you state the obvious.

“I saw your boobs,” he repeats you, nodding to himself as you address the elephant in the room. At least it’s been said, now you can move on.

“Just forget about it,” you say. “It doesn’t matter,”

“Telling a man to forget about boobs—come on. It’s not gonna happen,”

At least he was honest.

“Oh please, you’re acting like you’ve never seen a pair of tits before,” you scoff. “They’re just nipples, Poe. You’ve probably seen a thousand pairs of them. Just forget about mine,”

He swallows, and the energy in the car shifts instantly. “What if I don’t want to forget,” he says, and you’re hit with that buzzy feeling in your gut again, spreading out to different, intimate parts of your body. “What if I want to see them again,”

You turn to him gently, laying your eyes over his. He copies you, staring at you softly. He’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the fucking world. Right now, it feels like it—sat in his car, wrapped in blankets and overly aware of your heartbeat.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you say abruptly, and he lets out a scoff.

“Like what?”

“All—sexy—like. You look like you’re already taking my fucking clothes off,”

“Because a part of me wants to,” he lets out, and you’re so fucking overwhelmed that you don’t know what to say. There’s a part of you that also wants him, right here, right now, no questions asked; but there’s an alternate side that is screaming at you to stop. It’s Poe. It’s fucking Poe.

Sure, he’s hot as hell and he was holding you in the lake and he’s seen your fucking nipples now but it’s just Poe.

And sure, he’s looking at you like he can’t wait to touch you some more and wants to see you in new ways and, and, and—

“Hey,” he says strongly, alerting you back to the present. “Are you okay?” he whispers, all wholesome now, when two seconds before he’d been imagining you and he in the backseat, no doubt.

“Fine,” you croak out. A lie.

Poe regards you softly, traversing his eyes all over you, but not with the same intensity as a minute ago. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, doesn’t want to fuck this up completely.

“I’ll take us home,” he settles on, and the small smile you give him means the world.

“Thank you,” you say gently. And you mean it. You’re thankful for him and his understanding and his ability to just know you.

You drive back in comfortable silence. It’s not unbearable this time, not awkward, not tense, just comfy. You and Poe. God—you could have had sex in the backseat by now if you weren’t so overwhelmed at his honesty. You could have taken turns touching each other and feeling each other and just being with each other.

You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that part of you had thought about him like this, since you reunited with him at that party. Poe was obviously suffering from the same thoughts and feelings, not realising that they’d ever be spoken of or have the possibility to come to fruition in such a way.

Neither of you bother to put on your clothes when you arrive back. You simply walk through the front door still wrapped in blankets, and parade through your very full house. To those who ask questions, you simply say, “We jumped into the fucking lake,” and that’s that.

No other explanation needed.

You shower first, while Poe waits. When you’re done, you wrap yourself in a towel and open the bathroom door, just to discover him leaning against the frame outside. He’s got a towel around his waist and nothing else, and the fact that you know his boxers are long gone makes your gut coil.

What is this? This sudden and inescapable sexual tension that’s sprouted from nowhere?

Nowhere. Sure. It’s not like you were holding each other in a lake just an hour ago.

“Bathroom’s free,” you say slowly, not fully focusing, because Poe’s just stepped forward and is peering down at you with his stare directly on your lips. He’s not being subtle or soft about it; you can feel the way his heartrate has accelerated tenfold since you opened the door, radiating off him in waves.

“Thanks,” he lets out coarsely, and you know it’s taking every bit of strength for him not to duck down and place his lips on yours—because you’re exactly the same.

Gently, he leans down ever so slightly to the point where the breath gets hitched in the back of your throat. As soon as it does, he stops—and smiles.

The bastard did it on purpose. Just to make you squirm, just to check you really wanted it to, just to, just to—

“See you at dinner,” he adds, before gently gliding past you into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

You lock yourself in your room and scream into your pillow immediately.

Poe Dameron— your ex-best friend, someone you hadn’t properly seen in seven years, someone who had never made it known that he had any romantic or sexual feelings for you—

He wanted to fuck you.

He wanted to fuck you so bad.

Heidi was fucking right all along.

Tag List: @noctem-vincere @browneyes-issac @theidiotsincontrol @harrys-tittie @leithatnight @iridian-darkbloom @angellicpraises @philiasoul @oscarisaaclover @20th-centu-fairy-girl @sunflowerfive @mikaylabtzk @dearvirtualdiary @xxladysquishyxx

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deedeekpop · 2 years

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Summary After you find out that you’re the DUFF of your friend group, you team up with the person who told you, so you can prove everyone wrong.

Word Count 4.5k

Genres Fluff, crack, angst, childhood friends to enemies to lovers

Pairing(s) duff!reader x jock!Jeongin (gn reader)

Warnings swearing, the reader is a bad friend, Jeongin is a bit of an asshole

A/N Sorry I’ve been inactive again. My job has been taking a lot out of me, and I haven’t been feeling best mental health wise. Luckily I’m feeling a little better and I’m hoping to become more consistent :). This is the start of a new sereis, let me know how it goes.

Series Masterlist Masterlist

School for you had always been fairly straightforward, go to class, hang around with your friends at lunch, go to your respective clubs after school, then go home. It was a routine that you had gotten extremely familiar with, and that wasn’t about to change any time soon.

Your two best friends, Rose and Jennie, had been by your side since you were about seven, and the three of you were just about inseparable. Despite the fact that the two of them had a significantly higher social standing, and were miles above you on the confidence scale; you were happy to think that you grounded them back into reality. Plus it didn’t hurt that no one was looking at you, you could rock up to school in a banana suit and no one would even notice with your besties by your side.

Most school days were the same, avoid the annoying Queen Bee of the school, Luna, avoid your annoying player neighbour, Jeongin, and gaze at Seungmin, whilst trying to form a cohesive sentence. Then during breaks, you would spend your time writing for the school’s newspaper, something you were pretty good at. You had school down to a science, which was good because you got A’s in those subjects.

Today was like no other day, Rose and Jennie were invited to a party, with you as part of their package deal, and you had finally gotten to your locker for a moment of peace. You were a little put off by the entire conversation, with Luna acting like you weren’t even there, and treating you like shit when she finally acknowledged your existence.

You were grabbing your books for your next Spanish class, when he approached you, Jeongin. You groaned internally, his cocky smirk defeating any happiness you had. You had known Jeongin since you were a baby. You were next-door neighbours, which meant that the two of you had grown up together. Despite this, the two of you really didn’t get along, with the two of you having completely different interests. Also, he was dating Luna

“Hey, Y/N.” He grinned at you, you rolled your eyes.

“And for what reason am I graced with your presence?” You ask sarcastically.

“Just wanted to ask what film you were watching last night? Looked pretty freaky.” You had been watching the latest zombie film to come out, it was pretty freaky, but that’s besides the point.

“Were you spying on me?” You ask incredulously.

“It’s hard to miss a bunch of people running and screaming for their lives.”

You shake your head, grabbing your books, and closing your locker.

“Goodbye, Jeongin.” You say, huffing as you pass him. Hopefully, you could avoid him for the rest of the day.

The next two days at school passed fast, until its finally the day of the party. For some reason, Luna had decided to have the party on a school night, and Jennie and Rose were way too excited about it. The two of them had spent an hour at your house, giggling whilst trying to get you to dress up. This was Luna you were talking about, there was no way you were dressing up for her.

There was a nagging feeling in your head that maybe Seungmin would be there, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. You were pretty sure he didn’t know you existed, and you didn’t want to put any effort just for your hopes to be crushed even lower than they already were. So naturally, you pull out your usual go-to party t-shirt and up the ante on the complaining.

“Come on, Y/N! This could be your chance to wow Seungmin!” Rose giggles like a little school girl.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to take your eyes off you in something like this.” Jennie flashes something covered in brightly coloured sequins. That was not your style one bit, as much as they wanted it to be.

After talking them down, you make it to the party whilst it’s in full swing, separating with Jennie and Rose who make a beeline for the dance floor (somewhere you definitely avoid). You spot a glimpse of Seungmin, sitting with his guitar (and crowded by his adoring fans), there was no way you were grabbing his attention tonight.

Not paying much attention, you turn around and run into Luna.

“Watch where you’re going!” She growls, and not wanting to get into an argument tonight, you mutter a sorry and try to evacuate.

“You think you can just show up here and ruin my night!” She scowls.

“I haven’t even done anything, Luna.”

“Your presence alone ruins everything.”

“Ouch,” You say sarcastically. “Whilst I would love to stay and hear your creative insults, I have somewhere else to be.”

Ducking behind someone, you make your escape, hearing her huff in frustration. Making your way inside, you head towards the snack table. The house itself was like a glass maze, but it was worth it for the food. As much as you disliked Luna, you could agree that she had good taste in food, the spread was extravagant- not what you would expect at a high school party.

“Enjoying the food, Y/N.” Jeongin’s voice jumped in from behind you. You startled, almost dropping your glass of punch, but standing your ground.

“It was much better company than you.”

“Oh, I’m hurt. I have to say though, you’re usually in much better company. Where are Jennie and Rose at?”

“Already planning to cheat on Luna?”

“We broke up,”

“Again?” It was the third time this month.”

“Well, as a DUFF, you wouldn’t understand your friends being wanted.”

“I’m sorry??? Of course, I understand why my friends are so popular, they’re wonderful people. And what do you mean a DUFF? What the hell is that Jeongin!” Your voice was muddled with confusion and incredulity.

“A DUFF. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Doesn’t mean your any of those things, just that in comparison to your friends, you’re less attractive and more approachable.”

You could not believe this, the fact that he had just openly insulted you. And he didn’t seem the least bit sorry, the same cocky grin smeared across his face. To put it simply, he infuriated you. How dare he say that to you! Sure you weren’t as conventionally attractive as Jennie and Rose but you had your own charms. How dare he dismiss that.

In your rage, you could only think to do one thing in return. Picking up a solo cup full of cheap beer, you fling it in his face. “Fuck you, Jeongin.” You mutter before storming off. You needed to get away from this party more than ever.

Over the next two weeks that one acronym floated across your mind, lingering like a bad smell that you were desperate to get rid of. It was beginning to affect every thought you had, and every interaction you had with your two friends.

What used to feel like a blessing, felt more like a curse. Why were you completely ignored compared to them, why did you constantly have people coming up to you and asking if they were single? Why was no one coming up to you and asking you if you were single? Then your mind began turning to other, more dangerous thoughts.

Were they using you, as some sort of doorman? Were you just there to make them seem more kind and approachable, that they look better to be associated with someone of a lower social status? You hoped it wasn’t true, that these years of friendship had been genuine, but you weren’t in the right state of mind to be making reasonable judgements right now.

So there you were, silently stewing away whilst your two friends were attempting to engage you in some form of interesting conversation. But you had just had it.

“Do you think I’m stupid?!” You snapped.

“Y/N, why the hell would you think that?” Jennie was taken aback.

“We’ve known you for so long, we obviously don’t.” Rose in comparison was confused.

This contradiction only sparked your anger further. You almost went into a blind rage.

“I’ve had enough of you both using me. I don’t need you or want either of you anymore. My eyes have been opened to how you used me you sickos!”

You began gathering your things, only for Jennie to pull you back down.

“Stop being ridiculous. What are you on about?”

“You know, and it’s been going on for way too long. We’re done. Don’t talk to me.”

And with that, you stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving two very confused girls behind you.

It was definitely a different situation, being by yourself. You had never really experienced high school this way before, but your fears had been confirmed. You were completely invisible, now that the popularity that came with being friends with Jennie and Rose had gone. You didn’t get so much as a nod of acknowledgement in the halls anymore.

You began to wallow, this new unfamiliar predicament burying you. Until one day, an opportunity arose- willing you to dig yourself out of the hole of your self-pity and finally better yourself. You are not a DUFF, you will not allow yourself to be one.

This particular opportunity arose when you overheard your chemistry teacher talking to the person who had enlightened you. Jeongin.

“I’m sorry Jeongin, but I’ve talked to your coach and we’ve decided that it’s best you don’t play football until you can get your grades up.” Your chemistry teacher was solemn, unlike how you had seen him before.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you can do? I promise I’ll get my grades up if you let me keep playing.” Jeongin pleaded.

“I’m sorry, but at the moment that isn’t possible.”

So you took your opportunity and pounced. Not long after, your chemistry teacher left the classroom, jeongin packing up his battered chemistry textbook. You entered the room again.

“Looks like you’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle there, Jeongin.” You grinned, smugly.

“Look, if you’re here to gloat. There are places I’d rather be.” He huffed.

“Actually, I’ve come here with a deal. And if I were you, I’d take it.”

“What is this about, Y/N.”

“Remember when you called me a DUFF.”

“Are you still bringing that up? Look. If I knew you’d fixate on it so much, I wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.”

“You basically called me ugly and fat, how else was I supposed to react?”

“Right, I’m going. See you later.

“Wait! I’ll tutor you. For chemistry.” You blurted out.

“I feel like there’s a catch to this.”

“I want you to de-duff me. There’s this guy I like, and I want to have a chance with him.”

“That’s it.”

“Yes, that’s it.”

“Well, you better hope that you’re a good teacher because I suck ass at chemistry. As for you, meet me at the mall after school. We’ll sort you out there.”

The mall was an eventful trip, something that you didn’t really expect from him. You arrived there and were quickly moved into a popular retail store, where Jeongin scrutinised several different styles of clothing on you.

“What about this one?” You came out wearing a pink outfit.

“Definitely not, looks like something Luna would wear.” He grimaced.

“What, am I not a convincing copy? Do I not give off the vibe I might murder you any second?

“No. You don’t have the murderous glare she does. You look way too happy.”

“Pink is such a happy colour though.”

“Not when she wears it.”

“Right, I’ll try something that doesn’t give you nightmares, then.”

After your mostly unsuccessful shopping trip, he then took to the second step. Confidence, which seemingly involved you aimlessly wandering around the mall on the prowl for men. This was definitely not your thing, you’d love to be doing anything else right now.

“I want you to go up to that guy and get his number.”

“Are you serious, Jeongin?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“No, you look like you’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Just go up and talk to him. Worst-case scenario: you get rejected, and you never see him again.” He shoved you in his direction, giving a maniacal smile. Maybe you shouldn’t have chosen him specifically.

You stumbled up to him, almost knocking him over.

“Hey… nice weather today?” You awkwardly stuttered out.

“Not really, it looks like it’s about to rain outside.” The man grumbled, clearly uninterested.

“I don’t know, the rain can be nice sometimes…”

“What do you want?” He suddenly turned to you, unamused.

“Umm… would it be possible… only if you’re comfortable with it… Could I get your number?”

“Absolutely not.” And with that, he stormed off. You wanted to disappear, your face a flaming red. You glared towards Jeongin, currently almost wetting himself with laughter.

“That’s great, go up to another guy and do that again.” He choked out in between his cries of laughter.

“Not a chance. If you’re not taking this seriously, I can just go. But say goodbye to your tutoring.”

He sighs, sobering up from the hilarity of the previous situation.

“Fine, just try again. This time, just be upfront straight away. Just say something like, I saw you across the mall, and you looked super attractive.”

You scoffed, “That would literally only work for you.”

“Why would it only work for me?”

“Look at you, then look at me. There’s a very specific difference.”

“Now, that’s not the attitude we want. Right now, me and you are on the same level. You can totally do this.”

You sigh, slightly blushing at his embarrassing comment. You spent the next half an hour completing this task, going through about ten people before finally getting someone’s number.

You paid him back by studying chemistry notes with him, passing him the extra notes you made during class. You made him promise to do an hour’s revision each night, until his grades finally improved. This arrangement would work, you were sure of it. You were counting on it.

Things seemed to be looking up for you, until you reached the expected fall from grace that you were used to. Walking into school the next day, you were greeted with whispers and stares. You had never felt more popular in your life, it made you uncomfortable.

Finally, you were approached by a girl you didn’t really recognise, but vaguely remember seeing close to Seungmin. She looked around conspiratorially leaning in to ask something from you.

“Is it true that you have a crush on Seungmin?” She asked. Your heart immediately sunk, was that what they were all whispering about? How had any of them found out? Why was everyone so suddenly interested in you? Sure, your more recent interactions with Jeongin had been giving you a few stares, but this was out of nowhere. Why did everyone suddenly believe this, with no evidence?

You stuttered out a no in reply to the girl, rushing down the corridor to your locker. The only people you had told about your crush on Seungmin were Jennie and Rose. They hadn’t done this to you, had they? But then the answer became embarrassingly clear.

There she was, Luna, grinning at you in front of your locker.

“You should tell Jennie and Rose to quieten their conversations. It’s quite easy to overhear things if you want to. That is, if they even would want to talk to you anymore…” She gave a sadistic smile before walking off towards the girl’s bathroom.

You turned around, seeing the one guy you didn’t want to see. Seungmin. He avoided eye contact with you, quickly turning around and half sprinting down the corridor. Great. This is exactly what you needed. You needed to talk to Jeongin.

You sprinted over to Jeongin’s locker, only to find him flirting with a couple of cheerleaders. Rather than explaining anything to him, you grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Woah, what’s this all about?”

“The entire school knows about my crush on Seungmin, thanks to Luna.”

“Seems like something she’d do.”

“Why aren’t you panicking?”

“Because this has given you a great opportunity to ask him out. He already knows now, what do you have to lose? Just ask him out.”

“You think he’d say yes?”

“Look. Y/N. Even though we haven’t always got along, I’ve known you since I was like two. You’re a good person, you have a great sense of humour, and you’re not bad looking. He’d be an idiot not to say yes.”

You blushed at Jeongin’s sudden compliment. It wasn’t that you liked him or anything like that, it was just unexpected, that’s all.

“Ok, I’ll do it. At least I can get over him if he says no.”

Leaving Jeongin in the classroom, you raced down the halls towards Seungmin.

“Um.. hey Seungmin.” You say, slightly out of breath.

“Hey, Y/N.” He gives an awkward smile. “What’s up?”

“I think you’ve probably heard it by now, but I really like you. And I was just wondering, if it’s alright with you, maybe we could go out sometime?” You hold your breath, anticipating the rejection sure to come your way.

“Sure, I’d like that.” It seemed like the world had faded away with his reply. You wanted to jump for joy, but you played it cool.

“Great, this Saturday?”

You were just arriving back from school when you heard it coming from Jeongin’s, the familiar shouting. His parents were going through a rough patch, and you could see where it was heading. As a child of divorce, you weren’t exactly optimistic about it.

You sent a text to Jeongin, are you okay? Minutes later he storms out of the house, slamming the door later. Seems like quite an obvious answer.

“Hey, are you okay?” Your eyes filled with concern.

“Do I look ok? Is any of this ok?” You were taken aback by him snapping at you, whilst you both had been hostile to each other previously, Jeongin had never raised his voice at you. He apologised immediately.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t take it out on you… it’s just every day now. I wish they would get a divorce already.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else, I know a great place to clear your head.”

He nods, and that’s all you needed. It wasn’t a long walk, a little into the woods. You come over to a mishmashed pile of wood.

“Wait, is this the den we built as kids?” He broke out into a grin.

“Yeah it is, now I just go here to think.”

“Didn’t even remember this place, I can remember now how long it took to build.”

“And look what our efforts gave us.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a masterpiece.” He says, sarcastically gazing over the pieces of wood.

“I’m glad you’re feeling a little better.” Bad idea, as soon as you mentioned it, his face drooped.

“I don’t know what to do, I just can’t deal with it anymore.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, it hurts at first, but in the long run it’s much better for everyone.”

“I know, it’s just different. I don’t even know if I can remember a time when they liked each other.”

“They loved each other enough to make you. I think that’s proof enough.”

He looked down at you, eyes welling with tears. “Thank you,” He sniffled.

“No problem, seriously, I’m here any time that you want to talk.”

And as though it was out of nowhere, he gentle grabbed your face and kissed you. He was gentle and passionate, careful but forceful. In fact, you couldn’t really explain the feeling of being kissed by Jeongin, though unsettling butterflies arose within your stomach.

Eventually, as though he had come to his senses, he pulled away, panic in his eyes.

“Sorry… uhh…. That was just to check in case… I don’t know, you hadn’t been kissed in a while.”

“Is that what it seemed like to you? That I hadn’t kissed someone in a while.”

He looked at you guiltily, and that was enough for you. It was best to forget that this ever happened in the first place.

Desperate to rid your mind of the moment you had with Jeongin, you were glad that you were going on your date with Seungmin the following day. He had given you his address, but there had been no word on what you were doing. You were unsure whether to dress fancy or casual, but eventually decided that you’d rather dress up than down. At least then you’d look nicer.

You arrived at his house and he announced to you that he was just going to cook food here. It was sweet of him, having spent all this time cooking food for you. It had to mean something right? Maybe he did like you, more than he had let on.

Leaving you alone, you slowly inspected the dining room, he had asked if you were a fan of sushi and you readily agreed. You really hoped that this date would measure up to what you had been dreaming of, you really wanted your hard work with Jeongin had paid off.

Here you go, he suddenly entered the room, putting a plate of sushi down in front of you. You gave him an awkward smile and the two of you settled into an equally awkward conversation.

“So how did you get into music?” You asked.

“Well it’s always just spoke to me you know, it’s like when I see a person I always thinking of song lyrics. I love coming up with new riffs on my guitar.”

“That’s really cool, have you been working on anything recently? If your comfortable, I’d love to hear it.”

“I have actually, it’s for this one person that I really like.” You smiled, this had to be about you right? You were on this date, it would be really sweet of him to serenade you.

“Oh, and who is this person?”

“Ah… it’s actually your friend Jennie. I was hoping you could put in a good word for me?”

This couldn’t be happening, he wasn’t just DUFFing you this entire time. He brought you over here, made you sushi, just so he could have a chance with your former best friend? You got up, eyes filled with angry tears.

“I can’t believe you! And I thought you were different. You must think I’m some sort of idiot.”

You barge out the door, only to find a takeaway sushi bag in the bin. He didn’t even bother to make food for you. Why had you expected anything from this man?

“By the way, you can tell the people who made it, that the food was lovely. Too bad that the company was shit!”

You stormed out, leaving him speechless, and beelining for the one place you needed right now. You needed to think, only the den would give you a clear mind after that ruckus.

Only when you arrived, it was already occupied by Jeongin… and Luna. Your heart sank, the two of them didn’t notice you, too wrapped up in making out. You couldn’t believe that you thought for a second he actually cared, when you had been vulnerable and shown him your place together.

This was really turning out to be quite a shitty night. You were done, whatever this thing was with Jeongin had to stop, because it was obviously becoming more important to you than it was to him. Now that you thought about it, the person who you wanted to be on a date with tonight was him. Too late now.

You had to right your wrongs, and the first thing you needed to do was see Rose and Jennie. You had really fucked up breaking off your friendship with them, being paranoid over some stupid phrase, when all it really came from were shitty people. You approached the two of them in the cafeteria, sitting down at their table.

“Hey” You greet them, avoiding eye contact.

“Why are you sitting with us all of a sudden? I thought we were using you?” Jennie raises an eyebrow.

“I fucked up, I’m sorry. I let some stupid comment get to my head and took it out on you.”

“Why would you do that? I thought you trusted us.” Rose pouted.

“To be honest, I’ve always noticed how you two were so much more liked and popular and more attractive than me. I suppose I was being insecure. I’m sorry, I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“Of course, we forgive you, you idiot.” Rose flung you into a three-way hug.

“Just don’t do it again, okay? You’re a wonderful person, and you keep us together. Who was saying this shit to you anyway?” Jennie muttered.

“Jeongin.”

“And you believed him? When has anything reliable come out of his mouth?”

“He’s not awful, plus, this whole ordeal made me realise that I don’t like Seungmin. He likes you though, Jennie.”

“Well, I don’t like him. I plan on going to the prom alone.”

“Wait, so am I! That means that the three of us can all go to prom together. We made up just in time!” Rose squealed.

So that’s how you even ended up at prom in the first place, you admitted it hurt seeing Jeongin being paraded around with Luna. But at least he was happy with her. But you just wanted to let him know one thing, so you managed to corner him when Luna wasn’t looking.

“Hey, Jeongin.”

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. How did the date go?”

“Well he DUFFed me, so I went to the den only to find you there…”

“Shit, sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have taken her there, in fact, I-”

“It doesn’t matter, Jeongin. I just wanted to come over and tell you that I like you. You always told me to be upfront about it, so here I am. I know you’re back together with Luna, but I just wanted you to know.”

“Y/N, I-”

“What are you doing near my boyfriend?” Luna pushed between the two of you, “Why don’t you get the hell away from me before I make you.”

“You know, I didn’t really get you before, but now I do.” You look at her cooly, “ I get it, homelife must be hard, so you put down others to make yourself feel better. You act like everyone here is stupid, even your boyfriend, when in reality it doesn’t even matter. Just give it up, nothing’s going to matter after high school anyway, why are you so obsessed with it now.”

“Whatever, what would you know about any of that.”

“She’s right. In fact, I don’t even know why we got back together again.” Jeongin spoke up.

“You are not breaking up with me on prom night, we have crowns to win!” She snapped. He ignored her, looking straight at you.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“I’d love to.”

@crazywittysassy @yoontaedotin

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