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My mother thinks that I share a lot of my life with her but I am shockingly reserved in what I tell her. However, she knows about the thing that happened to me a couple years back that lead to me and my best friend of 5 years no longer talking to each other, and also created the 2 year long paranoia I have experienced.

Anyway, the other day we were talking and laughing and what have you and I jokingly mentioned my trust issues and she point blank said “why would you have trust issues? Nobody has ever let you down in your entire life” and I just felt completely deflated and almost upset that my own mother was so quick to deny the fact that I might have personal issues, when she knew that somebody had tried to blackmail me and harassed me with information that I shared with them in confidence, and then when I told my ‘best friend’ he feigned sympathy and support for a year before he decided it was okay to joke about the experience and tell one of my other friends and laugh about it. (Btw the other friend and I are extremely close and talk to each other every day, and I told her what really happened after he did and she sided with me)

And that kinda created the issues I have in sharing things with people, it also took me 5 years before I actually felt comfortable in sharing anything with that 'friend’ because I have anxiety and (undiagnosed, not very strong) paranoia, and then he goes and completely destroys that trust. If that isnt a reason to develop trust issues Idk what is.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at here is that parents have no right to dismiss their children’s problems because they 'have no real reason to have them’, just because you don’t know why somebody has trust issues doesn’t mean they’re making it up.

Children and teenagers have all the same problems that adults do. That 'your life is easy, you’re young - you have nothing to worry about in life, stop complaining’ mentality is extremely harmful and can lead to many teenagers having mental health problems such as an inferiority complex or imposter syndrome from their parents telling them that their problems aren’t important or real.

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Imagine being a toddler annoying an adult by poking him and the adult says, angrily,

“POKE me again one more time,” intending to threaten.

And you, a toddler, hear “poke me again” so you do what any obedient child would do and poke them again. And the adult gets pissed and you find yourself slapped and in timeout

Makes me mad thinking about it

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California is facing some tough challenges.  As one of the largest and most populous states, it costs a lot of money to keep people afloat during this pandemic.  And California has been at the forefront of progressive and compassionate planning, all of which comes with a price tag.  Governor Newsome just released the “May Revise” of the state’s budget.  In January, California had quite a financial surplus.  A few short months later we are in arrears and cuts to early education and child welfare out of necessity fall short of protecting vulnerable children.  We could certainly accuse Governor Newsome of being callous, but it’s all about the bottom line here.  I’m sure he’d prefer not to cut these programs, but what can one do to keep children safe?  I have a suggestion.  I am a firm believer that if a person doesn’t admit that they are part of the problem, they can not suggest a viable solution.  Let me explain:  if I don’t own that I am part of the problem - by my actions or lack thereof - then I will forever be pointing fingers at ‘the other’ and not accepting my responsibility to tackle that problem.  And we all know that nobody wins the blame game.  

Nor does anyone plan to abuse or neglect their children.  There are complex factors at play.  The reality is that in this quarantine, the numbers of calls have not gone up.  They’ve gone down.  This has been attributed to fewer mandated reporters (teachers, therapists, home visitors) coming in contact with the child.  However, the incidence of abuse has likely gone up.  Normal stressors of parenting are exacerbated by being stuck at home with the kids 24/7 without a break and difficult financial situations as a result.  It’s a petri dish of conditions that will likely lead to some terrible outcomes.  But during and after this crisis ends, we have a unique opportunity that I will implore you to consider.

Preventing child abuse and neglect is not Child Protective Services’ job.  Their job is to intervene when abuse has already occurred.  To prevent child abuse before it happens, we all need to get involved.  We need to get to know our neighbors well enough so that, if one is having a bad day, they feel comfortable reaching out to us for some respite.  We need to be a visible presence in our neighborhoods and communities.  We can support programs that strengthen families by donating, volunteering, and promoting their services.  These draconian cuts emphasize for me the need to tackle a broad-based, community-wide effort at building the community’s resilience so that families have better opportunities to thrive.    I am part of the problem, but I am also part of the solution.  Now is the time.  Our kids can’t wait.

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Babies are born,  different nationalities, different races, different colors and the most precious thing ever.  No matter what,  babies are the sweeties thing this world will ever see. Little cries. tiny hands, small feet and little chubby cheeks everyone just wants to kiss all over. They have this special smell that makes you want to cuddle them and keep them safe.  You worry, from the minute you pick them up, love over whelming you, how can I be there everything?  You look in there eyes and think, I’m sure going to try.

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