"Y/N, we had one spoke agreement to our legally binding friendship. When you moved to Metropolis from New York, you were supposed to not fall for my Metropolis best friend. He has something going on with my cousin." Y/N heard Chloe's voice from the other side of the phone as Y/N rolled his eyes. His blonde BFF was a total spitfire, and Y/N made a promise to her that he would not fall for her hunky former farm boy best friend.
"Well, does your cousin have rocks for brains? No offense, Chloe, but Lois has that tall drink of hot cocoa with whipped cream and the Metropolis Marvel wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. It's not fair. She can't have both. Now, if tight spandex suits are what she's into, fine, but I want to ride that farm boy's tractor till the cows come home."
Even though he couldn't see her face, he knew Chloe was making a face. "Ugh, God! Y/N, that's disgusting! I can't believe you said that about my best friend."
"I'm sorry, Chloe, but it's true. And if your cousin doesn't make a move soon, or chose who she wants to be with, I'll do it for her. Because Clark Kent is the nicest guy ever and if Lois doesn't want him, I'll gladly take him off her hands." Y/N said.
Chloe sighed. "Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you when Lois becomes territorial."
"I think I can handle the... as the bullpen calls her... 'The bitch on heels.'"
"Fine. Happy hunting."
"Thanks, Chloe. Bye!"
Chloe hangs up and sighs once again as a sudden gust blows through her apartment as a voice talks behind her. "What did Y/N say about me? Does he like me?" The blonde woman gasped and turned to see her smiling best friend, Clark Kent.
She put a hand over her rapidly beating heart. "Jesus, Clark. You scared the hell out of me. And were you listening in on my conversation?"
Clark blushed. "No...?"
"Liar, liar, pants on fire."
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can you do a chart for clark kent, please? 💙❤️
This is self-made. Date: 11.02.2024
Here you go, anon! Sorry it took a while! (Am I procrastinating on the Jon Kent chart although I have severals asks for him? Perhaps).
I assume no guarantee or liability for the completeness, correctness and accuracy of this chart despite my best efforts.
Includes fanfictions in all languages available, NOT English only. Includes all fandoms on Ao3 connected to Clark Kent.
Percentages were rounded up or rounded down to natural numbers for easier comprehension.
Poly ships were not included.
More charts will follow. :)
Want to have a chart for different pairings, headcanons etc. in your favourite fandom? Send me an ask!
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Smallville 5x06
"How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand."
I'm actually so easy to please
"And Lois... *laughs* I'd do anything to get rid of Lois."
but thinking about how annoying she is makes him laugh, soooooo... she's a good influence, I rest my case😌😌
Jonathan knows too, like-
Chloe & Lois as an investigative duo are actually really fun
Lex really lives in Jonathan's head rent free💀💀
ohmygoooooddd
MOTHER.
"She's here to dance."
Chloe really threw Lois under the bus like that I'm cryingsjakjsha
the struggle is real💀
SOOOOO let's see if Jonathan actually apologizes when it turns out Lex didn't do anything
CLARKFNKLJFDISLYS
COVER YOUR EYES SWEET SUMMER CHILD
Lois x bisexual lighting I LIVEEEE
they did that for me😭😌
"I'll have a coke😇" ... "S- straight up, on the rocks.😤"
JAkhsshfdlskaBOOBOO WHAT ARE YOU-
I just choked on my ice cream
LMAOOOOOO bless his heart
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PART 2 I'M CRYINDHSGFJFKD
I'm really not ready for what's about to go down here😭😭
🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKEEE MEEEEEEE🎶
Someone needs to go to jail for that music choice💀💀
TOM WELLING YOUR FACE JOURNEYS. LET ME SAY THANK YOU KING🙇♀️
this is history in the making. absolutely iconic.
🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS WRONG LIKE MEEEEEE🎶🎶
i do wish she was my girlfriend actually they're so right
aaand she's getting into it
ON MY FUCKING KNEES FOR HER MA'AM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASEEEE
he's kind of giving me:
PLEASEWSWKRJWOPQP
EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS IS SO FUCKING ICONIC LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY??
it's okay bb, we're all looking respectfully right now
💀💀💀THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PT.3
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS BEAN
kshadjwka his fight or flight is kicking in😭😭
"What are you doing here?"
"What are YOU doing here?"
story of their life fr
the struggle has never been more real, pray for Clark💀
.
they did that.
smallville writers really did that.
legend behaviour if you ask me
i would like to take this moment and say thank you.
"I've never been in a position where people look up to me."
This is such a silly statement, Jonathan is literally the person Clark looks up to the most. His bigger personality flaws clearly come from Jonathan's influence💀 (not to say he didn't also learn a lot of good traits from him -he absolutely did- but you know)
I'm really curious what Lex's (and Jonathan's) politics are actually, don't be shy writers tell me👀
SIR I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM MY WIFE IMMEDIATELY
creepy mf
"Hey 007. Nice of you to show up."
"I'll start assuming that means thank you?"
giggling kicking my feet
"I can't touch him."
"Well, I can."
I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, MOTHERRRR
pls his face😭
he knows he could never be as cool as her
THIS SHOT MAKES ME FERAL
my parents🥹
(listen the shit i went through to upload this last picture tho, i hit the upload limit and had to delete stuff, then i accidentally deleted the whole post for a second🤡 my whole life flashed before my eyes💀💀)
Lex talking about a guy falling in love with his best friend's wife uh oh, no thank youuuuu😬😬
He was making a good point though.
"The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much le lays on, he never expects more than he expects from himself."
Clark really grew up didn't he😭😭
"What are you doing, you just moved back in."
from the guy who said "I'd do anything to get of Lois." at the beginning of the episode, what in the clownery🤡🤡
All men do is lie.
she's such a menace, I LOVE HER😭😭
AND HE CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE
they're secret bffs your honor😭
I LOVE THEMMM IT'S ACTUALLY SO SERIOUS
"And you didn't have to come after me but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."
GOING INSANE ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT
CUT IT OUT YOU ASSHOLES I'M TRYING TO STAY NORMAL UNTIL SEASON 8 QUIT EYE FUCKINGZFGDUWEOAK
well. stay normal challenge failed again but that's exactly how i thought this would go, sooo
Question for the people: should i even tag Lex in posts like this? I don't think twice about tagging characters like Jonathan because I don't expect fans to look through his tag for him specifically, but i know people do it with Lex and I feel bad at the thought of them having to scroll through me losing my mind over Clois with a few Lex mentions in between. Lex fans lemme know
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