#choi soobin angst

[https-yeonjun]

the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)

summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.

or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.

wc. 14,444 words

genre. angst

tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl

a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.

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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.

it was the summer before third grade started.

it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.

so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.

you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.

the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.

and him.

the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.

you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.

at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.

she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.

you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.

“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.

“what?” you were slightly taken aback.

“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”

“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.

“i’m soobin.”

“how old are you?”

“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.

“why did you move here?”

“my dad got a job.”

“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”

“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.

“i can teach you.” you offered.

and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.

by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.

and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.

the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.

when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello. 

“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.

“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.

“just okay?” you pressed.

“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.

“did you miss me?”

“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.

“did i say something funny?”

“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.

“we don’t know that.”

“oh, we do,”

he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.

“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.

“do you like your school?”

“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”

you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”

“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.

“i know, but still.”

“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”

“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.

“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.

but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.

the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.

the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.

the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.

the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.

when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.

“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.

“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.

“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.

you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”

“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”

“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”

“i meant it when i said i missed you.”

“i know.”

“are we good?”

he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”

you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.

“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.

“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.

and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.

the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.

“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.

“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.

“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school. 

as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”

“yeah,” he affirmed.

with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.

“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.

your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.

“how?”

“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.

a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”

you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”

a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.

save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.

“me too. i’m y/n.”

“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.

“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”

should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.

“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.

meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.

“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”

“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.

soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.

“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”

“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”

you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.

and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.

being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.

even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.

after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.

“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”

“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.

yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”

“he’s such an asshole.”

“what did he do this time?”

you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”

“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”

“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.

“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.

“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.

“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”

you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.

to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help

from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need

to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me

from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it

to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?

that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.

as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.

you open the door to soobin.

“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”

his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”

“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”

“you’re in therapy?”

“yeah, since middle school.”

“oh.”

the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.

“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”

“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”

the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.

“you know what you’re doing?”

“what?”

“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.

“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.

to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.

“when’s your next test?”

“in two weeks, i think,”

“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.

as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.

from soob: test day! how are you feeling?

to soob: i think i’m going to throw up

from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!

you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.

finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.

“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.

after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.

“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.

“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”

“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”

that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.

“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”

“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.

“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.

“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”

“i taught you how to make friends?”

“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”

“hmm.”

“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.

“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.

while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.

“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.

soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.

“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.

“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.

“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”

“i don’t care. whatever you want.”

wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.

as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.

“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.

“we’ve seen it like a million times,”

“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.

after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”

your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”

“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.

“what?”

“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.

“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”

his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”

“soobin, it’s—”

“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”

“why not?”

“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”

“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”

“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”

“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”

“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”

“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”

“i don’t… i don’t know.”

“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”

you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.

“yeah.”

he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night. 

your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.

the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.

“something happened last night.”

“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.

“well, not really.”

“not really? what happened?”

“he told me he liked me.”

yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.

“and he kissed my cheek.”

“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.

“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”

“don’t get your hopes up.”

“oh, no.”

“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”

“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”

“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”

“he lives right beside you.”

“and he’s moving away in seven months.”

“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”

“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.

“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.

she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.

“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.

“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”

with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.

the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.

“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.

“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.

you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.

he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.

“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”

a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”

he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”

you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”

“can i kiss you now?”

“yes,” you giggled.

he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.

the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.

you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”

“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile

“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.

“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.

as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.

“okay, we can go now.”

you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.

for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.

and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”

“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.

“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”

“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.

she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”

“no, she’s going with her parents.”

“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.

“that’s random.”

“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”

“i won’t. i promise.”

“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”

you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.

“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.

you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.

“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.

“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.

“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”

“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”

“what if i mess up?”

“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”

“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.

the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.

you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.

for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.

“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.

“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.

“because i had you there with me.”

“and your dad came.”

“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”

“at least he was there.”

“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”

“i need to tell you something.”

“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.

“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.

“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”

“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.

“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”

“that’s great but–”

“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”

“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.

“why?”

“we had so many plans.” you pouted

“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”

“yeah, you’re right.”

you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.

the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations. 

“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”

soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”

“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.

“yeah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”

“what about soobin?”

“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”

“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”

“what?”

“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”

your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”

“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”

he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.

you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.

“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.

“yeah, it’s getting late.”

“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.

“yeah, i’m just super tired.”

“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”

“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.

you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.

maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.

“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.

you felt your heart sink.

you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”

“you think i should go?”

“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”

“okay,”

as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.

when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”

“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.

soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”

“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.

“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”

the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”

“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.

“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”

“where did that come from?”

“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”

“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”

“i’m being serious.”

“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.

you sighed. “i do, but–”

“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“so what’s up?”

“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.

“that’s not what i meant.”

“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”

you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.

“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.

“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”

“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.

“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.

“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”

“so, you want to break up?”

“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.

“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.

the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.

the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.

“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”

“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”

you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”

“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.

“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.

“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”

he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”

“and what if that’s not enough?”

his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”

“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”

“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.

with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.

to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.

later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door. 

“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.

“hi,”

“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”

“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.

“really?”

he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”

“been better,” you confessed.

he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.

“so you wanted to talk?”

“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.

“for?”

“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”

“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.

“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.

“and where is that?”

“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.

soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”

“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.

“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.

“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.

“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.” 

“is that so?”

“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”

“he was?”

“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”

“they do!”

“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.

“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”

“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”

“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.

“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”

“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.

“okay.” 

he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.

when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.

soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.

“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”

“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.

“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.

“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.

“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”

“so?”

“so, that’s too far.”

“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”

“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”

“well, why not?”

“because, you’re here.” you admitted.

“so, you’re staying for me?”

“you don’t want me to?”

“no,”

“oh,”

“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”

“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”

his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”

“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”

“nothing’s going to change.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”

“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.

“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”

you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”

“no time like the present.”

five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.

as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.

your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.

your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.

you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.

at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.

as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.

yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.

as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”

as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.

you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.

you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.

for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.

but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.

this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.

as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.

his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.

growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.

a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.

some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.

“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.

“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.

or not.

“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.

“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”

“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.

awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.

as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.

soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.

you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.

gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.

soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation. 

“are you sure?” soobin asked you.

you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.

“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.

leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.

the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.

“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.

“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”

you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”

“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”

the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door. 

“yeah, maybe.”

“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.

you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”

“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.

“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.

the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.

one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.

you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.

another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.

you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.

then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.

“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.

with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.

“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.

the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.

as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.

but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”

“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.

he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”

“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”

he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.

he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”

you nodded in understanding.

“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“okay, i will.”

your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.

slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.

he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in  your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”

you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.

soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.

“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”

“top drawer,” you breathed out.

soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.

“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.

you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”

the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.

“f-fuck, you feel so good.”

he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.

“soobin?” you moaned out.

“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”

“i love you.”

he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.

every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.

he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.

his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.

soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face. 

you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss

but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.

“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”

“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.

“what? she’s a guest.”

“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”

“i can’t leave her alone.”

“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.

“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.

“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”

“i’m not spending the night with her.”

“what’s so special about her?”

“what?”

“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”

“we spend time together.”

“yeah, with her always there.”

the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.

“she’s my friend and i care about her.”

“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.

“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”

“well what about me?”

“y/n, come on.”

“i told you i loved you.”

“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.

you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”

“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.

“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”

soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.

the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind. 

putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.

you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.

the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.

you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?

his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.

other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.

“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.

“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.

"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.

"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."

returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.

“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.

“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”

and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.

between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.

spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.

as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.

"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.

your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.

"i wanted to talk to you."

"how did you find my address?"

"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."

you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.

“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.

he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”

you met his gaze without a word.

“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.

“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.

“i miss you.”

“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.

“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”

“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.

“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.

“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.

“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”

“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”

“i care about you. you know that.”

“do i?”

“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”

“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”

“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.

“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”

“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.

“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”

friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.

“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”

he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.

silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”

he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”

“i know.”

with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.

in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.

taglist: @boba-beom @dearlyjun @atinyniki @makoto @bunnie-hq @wiisoob @isabellah29 @pluviophile-xxx

fill out this form to join my taglist!

#fay's works #txt angst #txt fluff #choi soobin #soobin fluff #soobin angst #soobin x reader #soobin #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #soobin smut #choi soobin smut #txt smut

[jjunberry]

txt! as chase atlantic songs

pairing! txt x reader

genre! angst, slight smut

warnings! toxic relationships

synopsis! songs by chase atlantic i think txt would be

wc! 600

soobin as slow down

“you’re buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud”

you were soobin’s dirty little secret. he met you after a show and once he had you, he was hooked. he was laid on the bed and his eyes trailed your form. “come here babe.” he said his voice deep. you crawled up the bed and sat on his lap. his hands gripped your hips, giving them a squeeze. “gonna let me fuck you?” you nodded. “you gotta keep quiet baby.” he said before flipping you onto your stomach. soobin was quick to push your panties the side. using your wetness he coated his dick and slipped in. you moaned out at the feeling. soobin grunted and pushed your face down into the pillow. “be quiet or i’ll cum and send you home needy.”

yeonjun as right here

“i’m right here, here. oh, baby take a look around, i’m the only one that hasn't walked out.”

yeonjun hated your friends. he only ever wanted your attention on him. he slowly drove them out. one by one they fell off cutting contact with you. “i just don’t understand why they go out without me.” you ranted doing your skin care. “come to bed baby, forget them.” he said. you ignored his words continuing your rant. “baby.” yeonjun snapped his voice stern. “i do not care about your fucking friends. now come to bed.” you nodded and abandoned your skin care. yeonjun pulled you against his chest. “i’m the only one here for you, forget them.” he kissed your head.

beomgyu as you too

“if you love it, then you cut the thing loose.”

it was a repeating toxic cycle. fighting, breaking up, getting back together. fucking roughly to bury the reason you faught again. you were tired but you just loved him. you’d forgive anything he did. “y/n we need to talk.” beomgyu said. here we go. another fight. “what now beomgyu?” he leaned against the door frame and watched you change into sleep clothes. “i’m done, i have my bags packed. i can’t keep doing this. it’s exhausting.” you sighed and looked at him. “very funny beomgyu just come to bed.” he ignored your words and walked over kissing you deeply. “goodbye baby.” he turned to leave. “if you leave don’t fucking bother coming back.” he just sighed and walked out.

taehyun as the walls

“honestly she needs a little loving. fuck it, now i’m getting off the subject, yeah, yeah.”

you were lonely. always by yourself. against the wall at parties, in the back of the room. he always spotted you though. there was something about you taehyun couldn’t shake. you needed something or someone. that someone being him. it didn’t take long for you to fall into bed with him. taehyun filled that void and satisfied that need and want within you. he had his hand wrapped around your throat as he thrusted into you roughly. he stilled cumming in you. when he cleaned himself up he left and rejoined the party. you never felt so full yet so alone.

hueningkai as heaven and back

“all in one night. she just went to heaven and back.”

you always wanted him. he just wanted something quick. kai took you out that night. all over the town. different clubs, different parties. you felt so high. kai took you by the hand and lead you do a dingy bathroom. his hand slipped into your pants. your eyes rolled back. before you knew it kai was taking you against the bathroom stall. you felt like you were in heaven. you could feel your orgasm approaching but it was cut short when kai finished and pulled out. he tucked himself away and left the stall. your heart sunk to your feet. it all came crashing down watching him leave you.

author’s note! i got a little carried away with this one…. these are some of my favorite chase atlantic songs soooooooooo it was only fitting i went a little crazy writing this.

tag list! @jjunieworld @304files

love, echo ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪

© jjunberry

#tomorrow by together #txt #txt x reader #txt imagines #txt reactions #txt preferences #txt texts #txt angst #txt smut #choi soobin #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin angst #choi soobin smut #choi yeonjun #choi yeonjun x reader #choi yeonjun angst #choi yeonjun smut #choi beomgyu #choi beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu angst #choi beomgyu smut #kang taehyun #kang taehyun x reader #kang taehyun angst #kang taehyun smut #hueningkai #huening kai x reader #huening kai angst #huening kai smut #kpop x reader

[enluv]

PAIRING! – choi soobin x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! - What ever happened to them? Suddenly every single photo, thought, and feeling was erased from their lives as if poof, it never existed and once it was gone it left us all wondering, and searching for something more…

or in which fans of the popular singer Y/N begin to wonder what ever happened to the boy she wrote all those loves songs about….

starting: july 11th, 2023 / ending: august 11th, 2023

that’s the thing official playlist -> HERE !!

PSA: now that this is over, i ask that you do not spam like it as you read the full story, if you do so I will have to block you.

warning(s): profanity, dark humor (die, kms, etc. jokes) angst, not unrequited love but relationships where people want different things, fanwars, more to be added (?)

genre: social media au, e2l, non!idol but famous singers + model/youtuber au, angst, fluff, more to be added!

cast: y/n will use the fc of beabadoobee, all of txt, p1h keeho + possible other p1h members, itzy’s yeji , and tbz sunwoo !!

taglist: @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @haew0nz @neoculturewhat @hyuk4ngel @ddeonubaby @oulspvs @sullystraw @liliyaaaaas-library @rainbowszi @fanfangying1304 @tocupid

taglist is CLOSED!

VENUS DELUXE TRACKLIST:

– album teaser track!

000: coming to you live / twerkin on the runway (intros)

001: LOWKEY

002: TEASERS & TOURS

003: SUGARPLUM ELEGY

004: YOU DATED MY GF? (read: soobin’s backstory)

005: SILLY LITTLE ME

006: KRILL YOURSELF

007: HIM & HIS STUPID FUCKING RAT (sorry odi)

008: THE CONCERT

009: SOOBY/N Q & A!

010: I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND! — end!

end of album – restart to track 001?

© all rights reserved to enluv, do not steal, repost or translate.

#🎞️: that’s the thing. #kflixnet #k labels #choi soobin #tomorrow x together #soobin smau #choi soobin angst #choi soobin fic #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin smau #choi soobin txt #txt soobin #soobin au #soobin angst #soobin fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin social media au #soobin x reader #soobin txt #soobin tomorrow x together #txt angst #txt au #txt choi line #txt choi soobin #txt drabbles #txt fanfic #txt headcanons #txt imagines #txt x reader #txt smau

[flwrkisses]

texts with your boyfriend! soobin.

happy soobin day!! im in finals so unfortunately i didn't have time to write something but- i was able to make these cute text posts to celebrate soobin day!! hope you all enjoy <3!

genre: fluff, established relationship au!

warnings: slightly suggestive, playful banter between lovers, texts are fake.

©flwrkisses ; please do not copy, translate, repost and/or reuse my work without my permission. (2023)

₊˚♡ don't forget to like/reblog to let me know you enjoy this kind of content!

#choi soobin imagines #boyfriend soobin #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #txt soobin #choi soobin scenarios #soobin drabbles #soobin oneshot #soobin fanfic #choi soobin #soobin #choi soobin smau #txt fluff #txt fanfics #txt scenarios #txt moa #soobin day #txt imagines #kpop txt #txt smau #txt angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop headcannons #hybe #soobin x reader

[faerybin]

「Choi Soobin」 ☆

So here you'll find all of my favorite Soobin fanfics that you should read! Hope you will enjoy and let me know if one of the links doesn't work!

DRABBLES & TIMESTAMPS *⁠.⁠✧

7:25pm by @3raaaachachacha ↴

[0.5k] — fluff

2:53am by @sleepsacked ↴

[2.4k] — smut

Attention by @fairybinie ↴

[0.8k] — fluff, suggestive

Stranger danger by @delcakoo ↴ ♡

[1k] — fluff

Overworking by @blu-joons ↴

[1.2k] — fluff

Glasses by @bb-eilish ↴

[1.7k] — smut

ONESHOTS *⁠.⁠✧

Fangs by @beomie3 ↴

[2.1k] — smut

Oblivious by @rosewould ↴ ☆

[2.1k] — friends to lovers, smut, fluff

Anti-romantic by @the-name-chapter-ella ↴

[2.4k] — fluff

Incomplete seminar by @choibyus ↴

[3.1k] — fluff, college!au, sort of enemies to lovers

Special by @definitelynotcesia ↴

[3.3k] — vanilla smut, fluff, angst if u squint

Matter to you by @hueningshaped ↴

[4.6k] — overall fluff, angst

Friendly desires by @txt-trash ↴

[8.8k] — college au, smut, fluff, friends to lovers

Paper hearts by @soobmint ↴ ♡

[9.6k] — 80s!au, valentine’s day, ex best friend!soobin, rich boy!soobin, fluff

He loves me, he loves me not by @sankyeom ↴ ☆

[9.9k] — college!txt, best friends to lovers

What The Body Wants by @koqabear ↴ ♡

[22k] — sci-fi, enemies to lovers (kinda), smut, thriller, fluff (?), a sprinkle of angst

The naked neighbour by @ah-ga-seven ↴ ♡

⇉ Part 2

[33.6k] Two-shots — smut, fluff, lighthearted angst

SERIES *⁠.⁠✧

First Love by @moonhoures ↴

[57.9k] [4/5] [On going]

Genre : non-idol!au, college!au, smut, fluff

New fanfics ☆

Personal favorites ♡

Last updated : 02/25/2024

#soobin #soobin x reader #soobin x y/n #soobin x you #soobin angst #soobin fluff #soobin scenarios #soobin soft hours #soobin smut #soobin oneshot #soobin drabbles #soobin imagines #soobin timestamps #choi soobin #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin x you #choi soobin angst #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin fanfic #choi soobin scenarios #choi soobin smut #choi soobin imagines #soobin tomorrow x together #soobin txt #choi soobin txt #txt soobin #txt choi soobin #txt x reader #txt #tomorrow x together

[channoticedmeuwu]

CHOI SOOBIN AS . . . . ARIANA GRANDE'S 34+35 !

🌙 , ε. ＾꒰⁠⑅. . . ⌨️ ↝´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫. 🖇️⁾⁠⁾

p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — fluff, slightly suggestive, domestic!au (I think), established relationship!au | w — none

a/n — soobin gave me ariana grande positions vibes 🤷‍♀️ I caved, u know me and my soobin agendas..... ++ pls forgive me I'm super sleepy and was feeling emo 😭😭😭

🖇️ READ SOOBIN AS POV !!

cold comforter pulled up till his flushed cheeks, soobin was a drowsy summer night as a person. pink plush lips slightly agape and hooded eyelids, soobin would rest with his forearm on his forehead, slipping into sleep and humming slightly while you talked to him. he'd try nodding, trying to look interested in what you were saying but he couldn't make out a word, too out of it with his eyes threatening to close like that.

so he'd just stare at you up and down, your hands expressing as you spoke, your eyes darting around the room, you rubbing your arms from the cold of the aircon— occasionally flicking your wrist to pull your hair back, which would brush on your face again and again. and he'd find himself in awe, tired smile and giggling with a low voice. and you'd think to yourself damn, he's out of it for real. boy didn't have a care in the world.

and he'd just interrupt you sometimes, his hands finding your waist to pull you closer to him, making you rest your head on his arm as you lay next to him. with your body so close to him, you'd hear the vibrations of his chest everytime he'd reply with a “hmm,” warmth spreading til your cold toes.

and you knew he wasn't listening, when he'd start running his fingers through your hair, bringing his face to rest in the crook of your neck. and you knew he wasn't listening, when you'd feel his lips curl into a smile against your neck as your voice cracked at his contact, fingers circling on your hips. and you knew for a fact that he wasn't listening when he'd start peppering your skin with sleepy kisses, humming at you and asking you to play with his hair.

and eventually, he'd glance up for a breather, lips red n’ puffy and eyes all big, looking at you like you were made for him. it's not that you cared that soobin wasn't listening to you talk at that moment, and he knew that when you smiled at him, thumbs caressing the apples of his cheeks as he rolled his eyes back, melting at your touch.

and when he'd actually fall asleep, chest rising and falling, legs thrown over you and your face in his chest— he'd dream about you, about your mannerisms and the feeling in his stomach when you'd trace shapes on his skin. just soobin falling in n’ out of sleep, waking up in the middle of the night, so fucking dazed that he'd forget that you were literally huddled against him. the lights were still on, the aircon wasn't adjusted to a comfortable temperature, and the humidifier was buzzing at it's loudest setting. but he didn't care, not when you'd sleep soundly, eyes moving behind your closed eyelids as your cheeks were dusted pink, timed gushes of warmth on his chest as you'd let out breaths. and he'd think he was the luckiest boy in the world, so beyond it all, he'd think he's hearing stars twinkling in the night.

and he'd feel like he's falling in love with you all over again when you'd rustle at the sudden lack of warmth when he left the bed to shut the lights. the night lamp illuminating his favorite parts about your face, your eyebrows furrowed as you lifted your head, glancing around to see why your arms suddenly felt empty. and he'd coo—even in your sleepy state, you could hear him smiling as he called from across the room in a sore voice, “m’ right here, sweetheart.”

ε♡з BONUS — pov & positions !

choi soobin wasn't a people pleaser, nor would he go out of his way to adjust others in his time. he was too packed for that, embarrassed but blunt when he'd refuse, suggesting another time.

but for you, fuckin’ christ— the way you'd smile at him, asking if he could spend time with you at the mall that day, or the way you'd link your hands with his when you wanted to take a drive around the city in the evening with him, or if he could distract you from something that was particularly stressful for you— shit had him on his fucking knees. for you, he felt like there was nothing in this world that he wouldn't do if you wanted it.

he'd see you eye a particular type of flower for longer than usual when you'd pass by a florist's shop, and expect a bouquet in your arms by the evening. he'd see the way your fingers scratch against the material of a dress, clearly hesitant, he'd buy it for you as a gift when you'd celebrate any occasion. soobin wasn't rich, hell, he wasn't fucking near that. but knowing that you were there to soothe his shoulders when he needed you to, to allow him to be vulnerable with you when he needed to be, to have someone to come to when he'd spend yet another day, too busy to even eat lunch— it was just a little something he wanted to do for you.

and he'd see your scowl as you'd smack his arm, lecturing him about spending too much on flowers that would wilt anyway, or a dress that would probably never get worn the way it was cut in the most suggestive areas. but it didn't bother him, not when he'd see that your eyes were not at all serious, bright n’ beautiful, staring at him with pretend anger because he knows you wanted it. and he'd tell you to stop worrying about it, because he knew you're not about to show that you obviously liked the gift.

and he'd see you arranging the flowers in a vase as he'd walk past the end of the hall. you hadn't noticed him yet; you were carefully touching the petals and feeling the texture on your fingertips, breathing in the scent and slightly snipping off the thorns, if any. and you wore a smile, a smile he knew all too well, eyes absorbing every outline and shadow the flowers made.

and he'd walk into the room and hear you sigh in frustration from the bathroom, door which was left open by you, and see you struggle to zip up the dress he bought from the back. lips pressed together in focus, you just couldn't do it, not when the zipper kept slipping from your fingers. so he'd walk up to you silently, helping you zip it up as he held your hair back with one hand. and he'd see you hold back a smile at the way it looked on you—perfect.

and when you'd finally face him again before bed, you'd thank him, thank him with such genuinity that he thought he was going to die if he didn't feel your lips against his own. muttering over and over that you didn't need to thank him, not at all. why should you, when you do so much for him, know what to do when he needs you, know where to take him when he's alone—know how to love him and make him feel loved?

txt — masterlist

main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny  @kdyism  @neotism  @bluejaem  @radiorenjun  @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused  @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

#choi soobin #soobin #soobin txt #txt soobin #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #soobin fluff #soobin aesthetic #soobin angst #soobin soft hours #soobin suggestive #choi soobin scenarios #soobin scenarios #soobin fanfic #soobin reactions #soobin headcanons #soobin boyfriend material #choi soobin imagines #soobin imagines #choi soobin x you #choi soobin x reader #soobin x reader #soobin x y/n #soobin x you #txt fluff #txt angst #txt soft hours #txt suggestive #txt scenarios #txt reactions

[halaboyz]

to each's, csb

pairing: non-idol! choi soobin x gn! reader genre: angst wc: 614 warnings: pool notes: inspired by a scene in crazy little thing called love (iykyk)

"Oh hey, y/n... You asked for me?" Of course he'd be confused. You just had 3 full conversations with him, all academic-related this whole school year.

You smile, turning to hide the flower you've been hiding. "It's graduation day! I want to congratulate you for surviving high school." You giggle, and Soobin does the same, congratulating you back. "I called you here alone because I needed to tell you something."

"That is?" Soobin cranes his neck, cheeks turning red at the sudden seriousness of your voice.

"From elementary, silly puppy crushes- to puberty, wanting to be prettier, more elegant, and more presentable in front of... you." You meet his eyes, shy as you try to make your smile smaller. "I've done this and that just for you to notice me, Soobin. Maybe it wasn't really enough, but it was okay." Soobin doesn't reply, even make a noise, which prompts you to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is, Choi Soobin... I like you. Ever since we were first graders, to high school, to now." You finally hand him the flower you've been tightly holding on to, smiling.

Soobin was dumbfounded and red. He doesn't know how to react, nor what to say. He's been fiddling with his fingers, heaving a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to take the flower from your hands, your classmate, Beomgyu, barges inside the gates to the pool area. "Hey Soobin! Your girlfriend's been finding you every... where... Oops..." His voice trailed off when he saw the scene, and you're the one who's speechless now. Beomgyu quietly leaves with a guilty mouth, smacking his head in the process.

"You... had a girlfriend?" You're the one who's speechless now.

"Look, y/n..." Soobin has no idea what to say. His shyness was taking over him at the wrong time, seeing your eyes get watery. He has a lot to say, and a whole damn lot of smacks reserved just for Beomgyu, but nothing escapes out of his lips.

"Oh, no! It's okay, Soobin!" You sniff, plastering a wide smile on your face. "It's fine, oh my god, I'm so sorry." You quickly wipe your tears away and retract your arm, messily throwing the flower with no care inside your bag as you got your things.

"Y/n, no..." He tries to reach for your arm but you softly decline, turning to see him.

"It's fine, Soobin. Just a stupid crush anyway," You start walking backwards, smile not fading one second and tears continuously flowing anyway.

Just another fucking step and you step into liquid, feeling yourself drown for a second before straightening your knees and regathering your senses.

What a fucking embarrassment.

"Y/n, oh my god, are you okay?" While you were wiping your face along with your tears, you see a glance of Soobin attempting to jump into the pool to check on you. You extend your arm to stop him, waving your hands in front of your face to hide from him.

All those pampering throughout the years for this?

"I'm okay, Soobin." You give him a chuckle, to convince him and probably yourself too, that you were fine. You are going to be. You will be, right?

As you made your way out of the area, Soobin stops himself from going after you even though he was very worried about you. He figures how you must've felt, not getting a single word from him and getting in that situation.

He was fuming towards his friend. But more importantly, he regrets.

He regrets not saying a thing despite feeling the same way towards you. Now, he might have just lost his last chance.

#choi soobin #soobin #tomorrow x together scenarios #tomorrow x together x reader #tomorrow x together #txt #txt x reader #txt fluff #txt angst #txt scenario #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt imagine #txt soobin #txt soobin angst #soobin x reader #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin angst #soobin angst #choi soobin scenarios #choi soobin imagines #choi soobin scenario #choi soobin imagine #soobin scenario #soobin scenarios #soobin imagines #soobin imagine

[itaehynz]

୨୧ it’s always been true — c.sb﹒🌷

♡ pairing: choi soobin x gn!reader.

♡ genre: fluff, angst, idol!soobin + idol!reader, short fic.

♡ warnings: slight argument, miscommunication, reader feels jealous of relationship between arin + soobin, lowercase intended!

exhausted, you’re sitting on the couch in the shared apartment in which you share with your beloved boyfriend, soobin.

as you’re watching tv & eating an ice cream stick, you receive a notification from twitter reading,

‘arin + soobin confirmed ?!?!?!’

as you’re reading it repeatedly with furrowed eyebrows, you hear keys unlocking your front door. no other evidence needed to know that it’s soobin, you begin walking to the front door while clicking on the tweet & watching the short video “proving” that ‘arin + soobin’ is confirmed.

“hi babe, i’m ho- oh there you are!” he says with his usual dimpled smile, “what’cha looking at… oh, what’s that?” he says looking over your shoulder.

“i don’t know, just a tweet about you & your girlfriend’s relationship being confirmed!” you say with fake cheerfulness while walking away with an obvious attitude.

soobin blinks while furrowing his eyebrows before walking over to you & grabbing for his phone to see what you’re talking about. he carefully types up “arin and soobin confirmed” & sees a numerous amount of fake “evidence” pop up. videos, cameos, pictures, you name it, it’s all he sees & he’s in shock.

“baby, i didn’t even plan for this to happen. seriously, me and arin are nothing more than friends and i’m really sorry if it seems as if it’s something more than that…” is what you hear him say as you’re looking through your refrigerator.

“soobin, i truly can’t believe that right now, unless there’s something that can really back up what you’re saying to me. as of now to me, you’re just saying words that have no meaning behind them. i absolutely love you and arin to death but like… seriously? you can’t set boundaries?”

“you can’t believe what i’m saying? yn, i’m your fucking BOYFRIEND for god’s sake, have i not reminded you of all the time i felt like you and another male idol had something behind my back? once you reassured me, everything was fine. i promise you, me and arin have nothing more than a friendship, i don’t like arin like that, i don’t want arin like that. the only idol i have ever wanted to be with, was you. please don’t ever, and i mean EVER, question if my words to you are true and the amount of love i have for you. you’re the only person i’ve ever wanted and will forever be the only person i will ever want, i truly do love you and i will continue to reassure you of anything you hear about me and another idol, so please believe what i’m saying to you.”

wow, you’ve never seen soobin this upset nor has he ever been this serious. there’s tears in your eyes right now but, you’re ignoring them.

“soobin, i’m sorry. for everything, i have really bad jealousy issues and trust issues all because of my past relationships. you’ve never given me a reason to not trust you, so i’m sorry for questioning your honesty. i truly don’t deserve you and i’m sorry for believing some silly tweets over the words coming out of your mouth, i was just scared to be hurt again and started to think that it would be no different this time. i really am sorry and i love you so much”, you say before wiping your tears & walking over to him.

soobin sighs & quickly grabs you and hugs you. “my love for you is true yn, it’s always been true.” he says in between the kisses he’s planting on the crown of your head.

you don’t ever know why you questioned his love for you nor why you believed stupid tweets. it’s fine now, you know that soobin will always be different from your past lovers, and better.

﹏

2023 TTYUNZ.

a/n: this took a little while to write because all my data was gone because i accidentally closed out the app 💔 but here we are guys!

♡ perm taglist: @yeofy @h00nerz @boba-beom

#choi soobin x reader #choi soobin #soobin x reader #soobin fanfic #soobin oneshot #soobin scenarios #soobin fic #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #soobin angst #choi soobin x you #soobin x y/n #soobin x you #💌 : ttyunz.

[lovergonebad]

What Are You Thinking About? ~ *Choi Soobin*

Summary: Soobin doesn't understand you. Everyone in his life has always used him for his fame and they've always asked him for favors. But you haven't. Surely you must want something from him?

Pairing: Choi Soobin X Fem!Reader

Genre: Angstyish Oneshot

Word Count: 1183

Warning: Insecurity, rushed

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter

You wanted something from him.

You had to have wanted something from him.

There is no way you were being so nice to him without wanting something from him.

He knew this from experience. Everyone who was ever nice to him always wanted something from him, from money to clout to romance. He would give it all just for people to be nice to him.

So why weren’t you asking for anything from him?

“Hey Soobin! Earth to Soobin?” You waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his stupor.

“What?” He asked, a bit more dazed than he anticipated.

You simply giggled in response. “Nothing, you were just staring into space pretty hard there. I was just curious about what you were thinking about.”

He blushed and looked away. “Oh, um, it’s nothing.”

“Seriously,” You started, turning serious, “What’s got you so lost in thought? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” He mumbled, continuing to avoid making eye contact with you because he knew if he did, he’d crumble at the sight.

You sighed, leaning against him, your head fitting into the space between his neck and shoulder. “If you’re worried about something, you can tell me. I won’t judge. I just want to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out eventually.” You teased with a wink.

Soobin sighed. Sure he could act all flirty and tease, but that was just a persona. He never had anyone reciprocate before. So why were you different? More importantly, why did he like it when you flirted and teased him?

You just made no sense to him. The thought of you was always there, in the back of his mind, somewhere he couldn’t quite reach. Did you always have to be so annoying all the time like that?

“Are you even listening to me?”

Now, he’s heard that before.

“I’m always listening to you.”

You laughed and he subtly rolled his eyes. No, you weren’t different. You were just like everyone else. So he just needed to get over this weird feeling and do as he normally did when someone tried to get too close.

“Alright, wise guy. But I’m serious.” You gently placed a hand on his shoulder and frowned slightly. “You’ve been acting really weird the last couple of days. Did something happen with the guys? Is it your manager? Your boss? I mean he’s not my favorite, but I’m trying to be-”

“Why are you here?”

Now, Soobin has talked to girls before. Maybe he hasn’t flirted with them, but he’s seen the others flirt and he’s watched dramas. So he knew it was always a bold and often reckless move to be blunt, especially with the question he just blurted out. But that nagging feeling in the back of his brain wasn’t leaving him alone. And he had to fix this sooner or later. So why not now? Besides, the sooner he cuts you off, the better, right?

You looked at him, bewildered. “I’m here because you’re my friend and you invited me? Why do you ask?”

“I mean, why are you always here? Every time I ask you to come over, you always say yes. And sometimes, I don’t even ask. You just show up. So why are you always here?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you said, “Because I like hanging out with you. And I like hanging out with the guys. Why are you asking?”

“Is that all you like?” He felt guilty about what he was going to ask next, but he needed the truth. “Or are you lying so I like you more?”

Your eyes widened in shock. “Oh, is that what this is about? You think I’m trying to take advantage of you?”

“Everyone else does.”

A frown tugged at your lips. “Soobin… I wouldn’t do that to you. You know I wouldn’t. I don’t care about that kind of stuff that other girls use you for.”

He frowned, puzzled. “Why not? Why aren’t you like everyone else?”

“Because I care about you as a person!”

He blushed and looked away again. “It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything. I mean, I guess we’re friends, but still. Why?”

“Is it so bad for me to care about you and not have any ulterior motives?” You groaned and sat back, rubbing the bridge of your nose between your pointer finger and thumb as your eyes closed. “Look, I’m sorry that everyone you know wants to take advantage of everything you have. But I don’t! I’m not that kind of person. And I thought after knowing me for so long, you would see that. Maybe I was wrong. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to not be friends anymore. I care about you and I’m never going to stop caring about you unless you really mess things up, which I highly doubt will ever happen.”

Soobin was at a loss for words.

He didn’t realize you were that perceptive of him. Sure, you’ve seen him pretend to be someone else on stage and with the guys, but he didn’t think you saw behind the mask. He thought he had you fooled too. However, it was like you knew what you could and couldn’t talk to him about. It seemed you knew a lot more about him than he previously thought and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

See, Soobin secretly liked being mysterious. He thought it was one of his many charming qualities. So to be read so easily by someone didn’t sit well with him.

But it was you.

You were different and you had made that abundantly clear.

Why?

Why were you so different?

He had tried to ask but your explanation didn’t make any sense. You cared about him? You cared so much and you didn’t have any reason to? Why? You had to have a reason! Everyone had a reason to be nice to him! So why didn’t you? All these questions, thoughts, and feelings were making him dizzy. But he noticed, in stunning clarity, that there was one feeling he couldn’t shake: he appreciated you. 

 Soobin valued that you cared so much and went out of your way to do and say things to make him happy. You didn’t do it out of obligation and he admired you for that. Appreciation, value, and admiration were not feelings that came to him easily. So knowing that you so easily slipped under his skin and caused him to regard you this fondly was almost too much for him to handle.

Almost.

He would worry about his thoughts, questions, and feelings for another time. For now, he found it okay to just be in your presence. He didn’t have to act like some suave idol for you. He could just be Choi Soobin and that was enough for you. And, yes, he did appreciate it, more than you would ever know.

“What are you thinking about now?” You asked him.

He gave a half smile. “Nothing.”

#TXT #TXT Fanfiction #TXT Oneshot #KPop #KPop Fanfiction #KPop Oneshot #MOA #Choi Soobin #Choi Soobin X Reader #Choi Soobin Fanfiction #Choi Soobin Oneshot #Choi Soobin Angst #Soobin #Soobin X Reader #Soobin Fanfiction #Soobin Oneshot #Soobin Angst #Oneshot #Angst #Fluff

[yeonjunszn]

nineteen

pairing choi soobin x f!reader

word count 7.2k

genres fluff﹒angst

warnings mature language as per usual, strangers to friends to lovers to strangers? again?, right person wrong time, existential crises, insecurity, best friend!beomgyu, best friend!yeonjun, this one random dude being an asshole for no reason and not knowing when no means no, reader is so Painfully in love and cant do anything about it, this is self indulgent and a lot of it stemmed from my own personal feelings, let me know if i missed anything!!

summary you met choi soobin one fateful summer when you were nineteen and then he became the one that got away.

more HI HEY SO this was my contribution for soobin’s birthday <3 i know it’s a little over a day late, but i wasn’t just not gonna post it, especially bc i’m so proud of it and how it took me 5ish days to pump out. ALSO ??? I HIT 700 ??? THANK U GUYS SO MUCH!!! i’m literally crying into my pillow right now i’m so grateful u have no idea. not only is this a birthday gift for binnie, it’s also a gift to u guys for following me and consuming my content 🫶 and a huge shout out to @lvandrmoon​ my pookie bear luna for beta’ing and helping me edit cause i needed a fresh set of eyes <<<<3

playlist nineteen — pinkpantheress, ivy — frank ocean, hurt — newjeans, august — taylor swift, passion — pinkpantheress, summers over interlude — drake

Being nineteen was weird.

You weren’t exactly an adult, but you weren’t a teenager anymore. You weren’t allowed to make mistakes because you were told you should know better at this point. You couldn’t make decisions for yourself yet, because you “weren’t mature enough” to do so.

You were extremely naive, but also extremely cautious. You hated everyone, but wanted them all to like you. You were a perfectionist, but couldn’t give less of a fuck about anything at the same time. You kept contradicting everything about yourself and couldn’t do much about it because that seemed to be what being nineteen was all about.

It was this state of purgatory in a sense. You weren’t in heaven, but you weren’t in hell. You were in the middle ground, forced to reconcile with yourself until you couldn’t take it anymore.

At least that’s how it was until you met Soobin.

It's been a few years but you still remember your relationship like it was yesterday. You like to think it’s because you won’t find someone half as decent as him ever again. You’d never meet someone who was as kind or caring, someone who appreciated you for you — despite the growing emptiness that filled your chest with being the unbearable age of nineteen.

It was the summer following your first year in university. You’d underestimated just how much harder the workload would be and just how tired you constantly felt after late nights staying up to meet deadlines for papers and various other assignments. Sure, you had more freedom than high school, but at what cost?

The drive back home to the small beachside town you grew up in was gruesome. Passing all the thirty story high buildings and scenic views made you miss the city as soon as you left, though living in such a bustling urban area was more stressful than anything.

You half hoped your parents would be over the moon with joy when you arrived, but even they seemed drained by the months that preceded. You hauled your bags back into your childhood bedroom, the one that looked exactly the same way you left it in December — when you visited for Christmas break. This time it felt a bit more muggy thanks to the humid air blown in from the ocean.

You drop your things on the floor with a huff, tossing yourself backwards onto the twin sized mattress. The ceiling appeared more and more interesting the older you got, for a reason you don’t think you could ever comprehend (not that you really wanted to anyway).

The only plus about living next to the water, was sneaking out at night to sit on the beach alone with your thoughts. You didn’t do it much before moving out, mostly out of fear that you’d get kidnapped, but now that said thoughts had multiplied and you were older, the idea seemed appealing. In Seoul, you would just go to the Han river. It wasn’t as therapeutic considering there were usually other people around and the sound of cars honking was a bit distracting, but it was sufficient.

“Y/n! Come out here! Someone’s here to see you!”

You shut your eyes tightly, praying if you ignored your mother, she would just go away. Sleep was calling your name after driving five hours by yourself. Maybe you could just —

“Living in the big city changed you so much you couldn’t bother to leave your room to say hi?”

The voice speaking has you springing up and pouncing on the owner, wrapping him in a bone crushing hug (that is, if you were strong enough to crush bones). He laughs that obnoxious, yet endearing laugh of his, patting the top of your head as he pulls away.

“Beomgyu! Fucker, why didn’t you text that you were coming by?” You slap his arm playfully and he feigns injury, holding the spot like you’d hit him with a hammer.

“Wanted to surprise you, ‘fucker’,” this time he giggles rather than cackles. “Seoul really did change you, wow. I thought you’d be boring Y/n forever. I was starting to get worried, honestly.”

“Shut up,” you snort. “Seriously, I missed you asshat. You’re the only person who understands my love for garlic bread.”

“You’re so unserious.”

“Rich coming from you.”

Your mother and Beomgyu’s had been best friends since high school, so it was only fitting that when they had the two of you, by association, you were also best friends. Gyu had two older brothers, so had your parents gotten down to business any earlier, there was a chance you could’ve been platonic soulmates with one of them. Knowing that makes you grateful to whatever higher being is out there. His brothers weren’t anywhere near as funny as he was and you couldn’t imagine not having permanent comedic relief by your side. Especially with the rough push and pull of life now that you no longer live a ten minute walk away from one another.

Things really used to be so much simpler.

It was four in the morning before you knew it and you were wide awake. Once again your ceiling had successfully garnered your attention, lit by the moon slipping through the curtain on your window. You could hear the ticking of the alarm clock on your bedside table and the crashing waves of the ocean simultaneously. Though one was significantly louder than the other, it was the quieter of the sounds that made you want to rip your hair out. You were fortunate that your room was on the first floor, while everyone else was on the second.

With a tiny grunt, you open your bedroom window and hop out. You’re wearing a hoodie and some shorts, a pair of slippers too small for your feet shuffling against the grass of your backyard toward the sand just beyond the fence. You were fully aware that you looked rather insane — rightfully so since you were going to the beach a couple hours before daybreak — but didn’t have it in you to care. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see you.

That was your mistake. Had you gone any earlier or later, had you not even gone at all, things might’ve turned out differently.

You find the perfect spot to sit where the sand is loose enough that it won't stick to your clothes. Perhaps you did miss home more than you like to let on. There was something comforting and familiar about the beach, about your parents and annoying Beomgyu. About the salty air and the nosy people you grew up around. It was safe.

There’s a crunch of a twig behind you and you yelp, whipping around to search for the culprit. Your eyes land on a tall boy with wide eyes, his lips parted in fear. Whether it’s because he wasn’t anticipating you being here or he startled himself, you’re not sure. What you are sure of, however, is the fact that you’ve never seen this boy in your life.

“H-hi! Sorry for disrupting you… I’ll get going now—”

“Who are you?” You can't help yourself from asking.

His eyebrows knit together in blatant confusion. He probably wasn’t expecting that of all the things you could say to him. “Oh. I’m— uh— I’m Soobin. Choi Soobin. And you?”

“Y/n,” you answer shortly. “What are you doing here, Soobin?”

“I could ask you the same. It’s pretty late for you to be out by yourself. I could be a serial killer for all you know.” He shoves his hands in the singular pocket of his own hoodie, shrugging up his shoulders as a gust of wind breezes past you. You hold back the scoff that threatens to leave your mouth.

“For one, not that it’s any of your business, I’m from here. And two, I’ve lived in the city long enough to know how to take care of myself.” You pull your knees up to your chest, the action causing Soobin to glance down. The corners of his lips curl upwards slightly and you recall the silly slippers you were wearing. A sudden urge to curl into a ball and die right there on the beach washes over you.

“I’m sure you and your bunny slippers are well acquainted with the area, Y/n,” he doesn’t stop the smile that forms. “They’re cute by the way. Even if they don’t quite fit. I love bunnies.”

Your cheeks felt warm and you fist the sleeves of your sweater in your hands. Soobin was attractive. You have never been called cute by an attractive person. Well, technically speaking, he was referring to your slippers.

You wanted the earth to swallow you whole.

“You never answered my question.” You divert the conversation, lest he realizes what he’s done to you.

“Oh, right,” Soobin nods, running a hand through his hair. “My parents and I are visiting for the summer. They rented out a house a little further up the beach until August. I brought a friend with me but I couldn’t sleep and he was already knocked out, so I wanted to do some exploring.”

You hum in response, pursing your lips. “I live in that house right there— or, lived, I guess. I go to university in Seoul and I’m just home for the summer.”

“That’s cool! What are you studying?” He takes a couple steps closer to you.

“Undecided still. I’ll know when I know,” you pick at the sand below you. “Hey, if you and your friend want, me and mine could show you around town. That way you don’t kill yourself because of boredom, since y’know, you’re gonna be here a while.”

Soobin grins. “I’d like that a lot actually.”

“Let’s meet back here later then. Like two-ish?”

“Works for me. I’ll see you then, Y/n.” He waves, making his way back to his place.

You ignore the giddiness creeping up your face at the thought of seeing him again with better lighting.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

If you thought Soobin was attractive in the moonlight, seeing him in the sunlight was a completely different story. He looked almost angelic. The sun behind him created a glow that made him ethereal, like you shouldn’t be near him because he was too fragile. You’ve never seen someone so pretty.

“No bunny slippers this time?” He quirks, though it’s not belittling in the slightest. You feel the blood rush to your face instantaneously.

Beside you, Beomgyu narrows his eyes. You didn’t exactly tell him why you were going to the beach, just that you were. The entire minute long walk from your backyard to the spot you met up with Soobin was filled with his incessant nagging. Apparently it was ‘dire he learned the reason you were dragging him out so soon during the break.’

Instead of letting your voice fail you, you just shake your head no, and his smile widens the tiniest bit. He turns to the slightly shorter guy next to him and holds his arms out like he was giving a presentation. “This is Yeonjun, by the way. The friend I was telling you about last night.”

This has both Yeonjun and Beomgyu gawking at the two of you. Your best friend grabs you by the sides of your head, squishing your cheeks between his palms. “Okay now I need answers.”

“‘An you ‘et go o’ ‘y ‘ace—” You attempt to say through puckered up lips. His arms fall to his sides, but he doesn’t let you off the hook. “Thank you. Anyway, Soobin, this is my very stupid friend, Beomgyu. Gyu, this is Soobin. We met last night right here on the beach ‘cause we both couldn’t sleep. Happy?”

“Could’ve done without the stupid part, but yeah. I was just curious how you knew each other when you’ve only been back in town for a day.”

“Wow, she’s only been in town a day and you’ve already hounded her. No shame, Bin?” Yeonjun snorts ruffling the taller’s hair teasingly. The way the two interact is endearing.

“Fuck off.”

“I like them, Y/n. We should keep them.” Beomgyu nods, as if they were pets rather than people. You roll your eyes, turning to Soobin instead of humoring his antics.

“Do you have any idea of what you want to do first?”

He puts his index finger and thumb under his chin, squinting a bit as he thinks. Yeonjun deadpans at him, pushing him back slightly as he takes a step toward you and Beomgyu. “He’s the last person to ask. He’s so indecisive it’s insane. If it were up to him, we’d go back to his parents’ beach house and watch anime.”

Gyu bursts into uncontrollable laughter, hunching over and holding his stomach. Soobin’s reaction is comical, the way his mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ shape and his cheeks redden significantly. You can’t help the small smile that forces itself on your lips.

“How about we go visit Beomgyu’s mom’s restaurant?” You suggest.

“I could’ve just stayed there instead of meeting you here.” The aforementioned boy groans. Soobin and Yeonjun laugh when you roll your eyes again. As much as you loved your best friend, he was quite honestly the most irritating human being on earth.

When the four of you finally sit at a table at the restaurant, the vibe is considerably more relaxed. It made you happy that the three boys were getting along. While you were grateful to spend the whole summer with Beomgyu before school started back up in the fall, it was nice to add a couple more people to your group. Even if it was just temporary.

“You’re a disgrace to the human race.” Beomgyu suddenly says, his face covered with both hands (and you ignore the fact that he just coincidentally spit a bar).

“Mint chocolate ice cream is fucking delicious, what are you talking about?” Yeonjun defends with a gasp. “Plus I’m older than you, therefore your opinion is invalid.”

The two keep bickering as if they’ve known each other their whole lives while you and Soobin just watch on the side. You sigh. “I hate boys.”

“Why have you surrounded yourself with them for the day then?” He laughs, his eyes crinkling up.

You want to die. You want to curl in on yourself right there and melt into the floor. You feel the blunt edges of your nails dig into your palms and you scream internally. You were suffering and God was laughing at you.

Why did Soobin have to be so goddamn cute? He was a complete stranger— you hadn’t known him longer than twenty four hours. However, you found your stomach fluttering with incessant butterflies and knotting up like you were preparing for an elementary school spelling bee. The sound of his laugh was so melodic, only something you’d ever heard in the movies.

Maybe this was the overhyped feeling of having a crush that they talked about in books. Where time stops around the main character and everything moves in slow motion. Where they can hear the birds chirping and feel the sun on their skin. Where the smell and taste of food is ten times better.

You felt frozen, unable to think or even breathe. All you could focus on was the crow’s feet beside Soobin’s eyes and the curve of his pouty lips as he laughed. You can’t fall in love. Not with him. Not now.

Well, that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

There’s a light tap at your window a couple weeks later. It’s faint, and definitely not enough to pull you away from the comfort of your bed. You have your laptop perched on your tummy, a random K-Drama playing to distract your unending exhaustion. It was almost one in the morning and despite feeling drained of emotion, you weren’t anywhere near tired.

It’s nearing the climax of the ninth episode, where the two characters are finally going to admit they’re irrevocably in love with each other and can’t stay away anymore, when the tapping appears again. It’s more erratic this time, like someone’s throwing pebbles at the glass. It starts to irk you, so you force yourself up, pulling back the curtain to see what’s disrupting your personal time.

Instead of getting annoyed, like you initially thought you’d be, you find yourself almost blushing. Soobin stands in your backyard with a handful of tiny shells in his hand, his goofy grin on display when you finally appear at the window. To come across stronger than you were, (he did Not need to know you were a weak woman) you raise an eyebrow in question.

Had you been a good lip reader, you probably would’ve understood what he was trying to say. Alas, you were not, so you just cock your head to the side until he visibly deflates and drops the shells, beckoning you outside with his hands. One glance down at your choice of attire has you less than willing to run to him. The ratty t-shirt and pajama shorts that haven’t fit since middle school weren’t as appealing as they were comfortable.

You open your window, leaning out to tell him you were gonna change, but he shakes his head. “Come the way you are. Don’t forget the bunny slippers either.”

This does nothing to quell your rapidly beating heart— in fact, it makes it worse. Why would anyone want to see you so badly in this state? Let alone a boy. You slide on the lounging shoes, hopping out just like you’d done when you met Soobin for the first time not that long ago. You stumble a bit upon landing, which embarrasses you unhealthily because you were on the first floor, and he rushes to catch you so you don’t fall on your face.

He doesn’t think too far into the closeness between you when he holds your arms, leaning down slightly. His dark hair falls into his wide eyes as he does so and you realize that you’d much rather die a sudden death than catch feelings for Choi Soobin. It has to be less tortuous than this. Your cheeks are unmistakably hotter and you can feel the perspiration forming everywhere.

“Woah there, are you okay?” He asks after steadying you, his grip still on your shoulders just in case.

“No,” you squeak, and then sputter when he looks alarmed. “I-I mean yes! I’m fine! Sorry! Thanks for catching me?”

He laughs that Soobin laugh that has you ripping your hair out and sliding down the wall, making the situation so much heavier for you. You stress to yourself for the umpteenth time since the summer has started that you couldn’t fall for the tall dork. He was only visiting your hometown and you’d be going back to Seoul anyway. You needed to save yourself the inevitable heartbreak that would come with parting ways at the end of August.

“C’mon, I wanna show you something.”

You swallow thickly when he takes your hand in his, gently pulling you along with him as if he’d rip your arm off otherwise. You follow blindly, unsure if he’s being genuine or if he’s ultimately leading you to your demise. In the back of your mind you think it’s most likely a mix of both outcomes.

“Have you ever heard the myth that lightning makes glass when it strikes the sand?” Soobin’s voice carries over the ocean once you’ve reached the beach. You nod in response. “While I was walking on the shore, I found this.”

He points at an iridescent bit in the sand and you can’t help the gasp that escapes when you see it. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever perceived in your entire nineteen years of existence. You squat to get a closer peek. “It’s so pretty, oh my god!”

You’re unaware of the way Soobin’s eyes aren’t even on the glass when he responds, “So pretty.”

“Why’d you wanna show me of all people?” You ask, biting your tongue after you’ve already uttered the question. You can’t hide the insecurity behind your words. You’d never been anyone’s first choice for anything, so why now?

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re really cool, Y/n,” he furrows his eyebrows like it's the most obvious piece of knowledge in the world. “I like spending time with you”

You have trouble falling asleep when you’re back in your bed. You toss and turn, Soobin’s words keeping you up. You didn’t understand why someone like him could actually enjoy your presence. It wasn’t making any sense. You were dull and you’d lost any sort of personality when you went to university. You came back home practically lifeless. At the same time, hanging around Soobin was bringing back your youthfulness. His happiness was so infectious.

You come to a single conclusion that night. You were reaching the point of down bad with no return — and there was nothing you could do about it.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“Why haven’t you told him how you feel, pussy?” Beomgyu pushes you dramatically to mess you up as you play Just Dance on your Nintendo Switch.

“I can’t. You know first hand how awful I am with this shit. And it’s not like it’ll work out anyways.” you frown, ignoring how upset the statement actually makes you once you’ve said it out loud.

“You literally don’t know that. It doesn’t hurt to try.” He counters with an eye roll and a scoff. “I know it’s not everyone’s forte to step out of their comfort zone, but sometimes that's what you have to do to get what you want, Y/n.”

“Except it does hurt to try, Gyu. What am I gonna do a month from now when we have to separate at the end of the summer? School is too demanding for a relationship, not to mention a long distance one. I’m just protecting myself in the long run. I can sit through a silly little crush until August.” You sigh, setting down your controller.

Beomgyu cards a hand through his hair and plops beside you on your bed with a huff. “Look, I’m not saying that it’s gonna be easy and I’m not saying there isn’t a possibility of either of you getting your heart broken. What I am saying is you’re gonna regret not taking that risk months from now when you’re back at your dorm in Seoul, thinking about what you and Soobin could have been. Summer flings happen all the time. You’re allowed to let yourself be happy, you know.”

You hate when Choi Beomgyu is right.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Beach day with the boys meant you sunbathing on the sand while the Three Stooges goofed around in the water like children. You very much needed the self care, laid out on a beach towel in your bathing suit with a pair of sunglasses on the bridge of your nose and the warm sun on your skin.

You had to keep your distance anyways or else you’d just ogle at Soobin’s bare chest and you were not ready to deal with… That.

He finally met your parents the day prior when he came over to ask if you wanted to participate in said beach day. It was the first time he actually used the front door rather than throwing seashells at your bedroom window, which you were grateful for.

*

The ring of your doorbell caught you off guard, especially because neither you or your parents were expecting anyone. You went back to helping your mom with the cookies she was baking and your dad went to answer it. The surprise on your face when Soobin walked into the kitchen, trailing behind your dad like a duckling, was evident when he let out a little laugh at your expression.

“Y/n is this a friend of yours? He said he was here looking for you.” Your dad says, crossing his arms over his chest to appear intimidating, though he couldn’t hurt a fly.

“Uh— yeah— mom, dad, this is S- this is Soobin. His family is staying in the house a few down the street for the summer,” you don’t know why you were so nervous introducing him to your parents. “What are you doing here?”

“Yeonjun and I were thinking of having a beach day tomorrow. We already told Beomgyu about it, so I’m here to ask if you’d like to join us.” He smiles.

“That sounds fun,” you purse your lips. “Sure, I will.”

“Great!” His smile widens if possible and then your mom shoves cookies in his direction before the moment can manifest.

He stays a little longer, talking to you and your parents like he hadn't left Yeonjun with his own. It kinda scares you how well he fits in with your dynamic, like he’d always been there. He got on with your dad unlike most people and he had your mom giggling like a schoolgirl. It was weird, but you didn’t mind it in the slightest.

“I like him, N/n. He’s so polite,” your mom piqued once he was gone. “Are you really just friends?”

Instead of giving her a vocal answer, you just nodded. You’re pretty sure it was because deep down you wished you were more.

*

“Are you having fun?”

You push down your sunglasses a bit and find Soobin standing over you, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto your torso. He notices and takes a step back to shake like a dog. Your lips curl upwards at the action.

“Yeah, I am actually. Thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course. I’d never leave you out.” He sits on the towel next to you, bringing his knees to his chest. You push your sunglasses up and place the back of your hand on your forehead. You didn’t dare yourself to look over at him, afraid of what might happen to your heart if you did.

“I really appreciate that. And thanks for always including Gyu, too. We’ve been friends since we were in the womb, so it makes me happy that you don’t care about us practically being attached at the hip.” You admit with a deep breath through your nose.

“It’s funny how he and Yeonjun argue like they’re the ones who have been best friends since third grade,” he laughs and it has every bone in your body fighting not to look over at him. “Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I’m gonna head back to the water, ‘cause it looks like they’re gonna start fighting for real if I don’t intervene.”

You hum and hear him leave, your chest feeling a little lighter than ten seconds prior. You had to do something about this soon, because as much as you emphasized the fact that you could handle this until summer was over, you were starting to realize that you couldn’t. And you didn’t want to wait until it was too late.

After a few moments, you sit up to stretch, yawning with fatigue. You see a group of boys in the distance and don’t think much of it until one of them starts to approach you. He stops right in front of you, crouching so he’s at eye level with you. He’s attractive, you can say that confidently, but you have no idea who he is.

“Hey, I’m Jeongsu. I haven’t seen you around before.” He grins. It doesn’t give you the same feeling as when Soobin does it.

“I’m Y/n. I’m originally from here but I go to school in Seoul. I’m just visiting home for the break.” You answer politely, though why you’re explaining this to him, you don’t know. You want nothing more than to get up and run over to the boys.

“Oh sick,” he nods. “Listen, I saw you when we passed by about an hour ago and told my friends if you were still here when we walked by again, I’d ask for your number.”

You blink. There was absolutely no way in hell you’d give your number to a stranger. Even with Soobin, it was a couple weeks after you initially met when you exchanged numbers and socials. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know you and I really don’t feel comfortable just giving out my—“

“It’s literally not that serious,” he scoffs. “Give me your number, it’s not difficult.”

“No.” You shake your head.

“You’re not even that fucking pretty to be so uptight about—”

“She said no, so why are you still bothering her?”

You whip around to see Soobin standing there. For someone who was just a big teddy bear, his height was definitely frightening at that moment. The guy stands up, nowhere near the same amount of threatening. You rush to get behind Soobin, whether for protection or comfort, you’re not sure.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jeongsu asks.

“None of your goddamn business, now leave Y/n alone or else I’m gonna stop playing nice.” He seethes, his arm coming to hold you closer to his back.

“Whatever.”

He finally walks away, but your head feels like it’s about to explode. Soobin spins around so fast, grabbing your shoulders and examining your face for any indication that he might’ve hurt you. His eyes carry so much worry and so much care you almost want to burst into tears. When he sees the quiver of your bottom lip, he cups your cheek, his thumb swiping across as he frowns.

“S-Soo—” He interrupts you with a shush and pulls you into him, cooing and hugging you tightly.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

It’s been a few days since the beach incident and you’ve been avoiding Soobin as much as possible.

Sure, you were dying on the inside, but it was safer this way. After knowing what it was like to be so close to him, to be held by him, you couldn’t trust your heart not to leap out of the confines of your rib cage.

Beomgyu nagged you to just get over your pride and tell him how you feel, especially because he saved you the way he did, but you just couldn’t pluck up the courage to do so. I mean, why wouldn’t you be scared? You liked your friendship, you didn’t think confessing your growing affection would do anyone any favors.

You already knew that you’d be upset over saying goodbye when you had to go back to school. And that was just because you really liked being friends with him. It was a little more than halfway through July and time felt like it was flying by.

Being nineteen shouldn’t have been this hard.

Seashells hitting your window snaps you out of your reverie. You feel a shiver running down your spine, fully aware of who was trying to get your attention. There was only one person who did that. The one person you were purposely staying away from.

Your phone starts ringing and you bite your lip, willing it to stop, willing him to give up. Except it doesn’t and he doesn’t. He calls you again and again, making you give in and answer.

“Soobin, please stop—”

“Y/n, talk to me. I’m going crazy here. Just tell me what I did and I’ll leave you alone forever.” He pleads.

You open your curtain with exasperation and speak in a wavering tone. “That’s the fucking problem, Soobin. I don’t want you to leave, ever. I’m driving myself insane because all I can think about is you, day and night. You won’t get out of my head and as much as I want to hate it I can’t, ‘cause it’s you.”

His lips part in shock and he pulls his phone away from his ear. You realize that you’ve said it. You’ve spoken it out into the world and you can’t take it back because he knows how you feel now. You gulp.

“Come outside. Please.” He says, not into the receiver, but you’ve gotten better at lip reading because of him.

You go out through the front door because this isn’t any ordinary meet up, and you don’t want to make a fool of yourself falling out of the window again. You go around the house to find him still standing in your yard, waiting for you.

“Don’t look at me like that, it doesn’t help.” You whine like a child, covering your eyes.

“Do you think it’s easy for me? God, Y/n, I feel so fucking delusional when you’re near me. I’m surrounded by girls back home and not one of them excites me the way you do. You’re funny and you’re awkward and you don’t try to be someone else with me. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and it terrifies me, but at the same time I can’t bring myself to be mad about it— ‘cause like you said, ‘it’s you’.” He breathes, his words desperate. You choke back tears and step closer to him.

“What are we gonna do when we have to leave each other next month? I don’t wanna fall deeper in love with you just to go back to Seoul with a broken heart.”

“What did you expect to happen if you didn’t say anything?” He sighs. “I didn’t speak up solely because I didn’t know how you felt and I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable if I did. But now that I know, I can’t just pretend that I don’t. I want to show you off as my own, Y/n. I want to hug you and kiss you and sneak out onto the beach every night with you.”

“Then kiss me.” You blurt.

Soobin doesn’t waste any time closing the gap between you, connecting his lips with yours in a slow, passionate kiss. It’s soft and sweet, exactly like you’d imagined a kiss with Soobin would be. He grasps your cheeks in his palms and gently tips your head up to deepen it. You run your fingers through his dark hair, tugging it at the nape of his neck.

Your skin feels like it’s on fire, but cooled to the touch simultaneously. Sparks shoot out everywhere and it’s the perfect kiss that you dreamt your first kiss would be like. He’s perfect. You’re perfect together. For now, anyway.

You’d worry about dealing with everything else later. What you needed to do was savor this moment forever. It was like something out of a fairytale, or a novel. You felt like you were on cloud nine and nothing could bring you down from your high.

Things would be different a month from now, but you didn’t seem to care right then and there, like you had up until this point. Your only concern was keeping Soobin in front of you as long as you could, kissing him until you were breathless and swollen-lipped. You deserved a happy ending for once.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“Y/n, do you think you could run out and get some coffee? I’m running on like three hours of sleep.” Your cubicle partner asks, pouting with puppy dog eyes to seal the deal. You laugh at her and nod.

“Yeah, sure. The usual?” You ask and she smiles widely, sending you a thumbs up. “I’ll be back.”

It’s a chilly December morning, your coat only doing a half decent job at keeping you warm. It serves more as a fashion statement than it does a jacket. The coffee shop you found yourself at most mornings and late nights when you and your partner stayed overtime wasn’t very far, a ten minute walk tops, but the heeled boots you chose to wear today weren’t the most comfortable pair.

The streets of downtown Seoul are busy, to say the least. From what you could tell, it was mostly people rushing to get to work. This was a huge advantage for you because it meant the line at the coffee shop would be short. Your feet carry you further down the street until you’re in front of it, pushing open the door to enter the coziness of the cafe.

The change in temperature has you shivering, even after a couple have passed since the ring of the bell above the entrance went off. The menu behind the register is just a giant chalkboard with everything they have to offer plus daily specials. The date at the top has you tilting your head to the side. December 5th.

There was some significance to this day, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You shake away the thought before it could consume you and then realize it’s your turn to order. You step to the side to wait for your drinks next to the cart with creams, sugars, stirrers, and napkins, crossing and rubbing your arms to heat yourself up.

Today feels slightly off and you can’t figure out what it is, from the date on the menu to the weird feeling in the pit of your stomach since you woke up. Then you hear a familiar name called.

“An iced americano and two white hot chocolates for Yeonjun!”

You glance up just in time to see the older male taking the drink carrier off of the counter, making his way over to where you’re standing, presumably to get some stoppers. He halts when he makes eye contact with you, nearly dropping the whole precarious thing of paperboard. His full lips part in surprise and when he registers that he hasn’t moved an inch, he sets the carrier down on the cart.

“Y/n? Are my eyes playing tricks on me right now?” Yeonjun all but gasps.

“The one and only,” you laugh nervously. “How have you been, Jun?”

“Not bad, not bad. Yourself? It’s been what, three years? You look well.”

“I’m good, thanks. I’m an editor for a magazine. I work just up the street actually. And yeah, it’s been a while. How’s—?” You’re about to ask a question you thought you’d never utter ever again. The name sitting on the tip of your tongue hasn’t been said out loud in so long, it almost feels foreign. But, then you’re interrupted by its owner.

“Yeonjun, what’s taking so long? I heard them call your name like five minutes ago.” The taller boy groans impatiently, his words dying out when he notices you. It looks like he’s seen a ghost with the way the color drains from his face. And it finally clicks.

“Stop it, that tickles.” You giggle, burying your face into your pillow as Soobin presses kisses to your neck and behind your ear.

“I can't help it. You’re just so cute, I always wanna kiss you.” He laughs, brushing your hair from your face. You turn in his arms so you’re facing him now.

“Hey, I have a question.” You say, playing with the hem of his t-shirt. He nods for you to continue. “I don’t think I ever asked, but when’s your birthday. That way I know when to send you a gift— even if we aren’t together anymore.”

Soobin frowns and pecks your lips. “Don’t say that. We can make this work.”

“You don’t know that, Bin. We can’t make promises we can’t keep.” You shut your eyes tightly, leaning into his palm. As much as you’d love to be together for the rest of your lives, you couldn’t stay in high hopes.

“December 5th, that’s my birthday,” he says after a minute of silence following your pessimistic comment. “But I’m thinking of visiting you for Christmas, whether that be in Seoul or here. So you can just give it to me then.”

You hum instead of responding, too tired to start an argument over the fact that you aren’t 100% sure you’ll even be in contact that far from now. He was hell-bent on the two of you lasting that long. But you wanted to be realistic and just indulge in the moment.

The two of you broke up that October. School was too demanding and the distance was getting to both of you. You agreed to stay friends on the off chance you would reunite again one day— holding onto the possibility that this was just a right person, wrong time type of situation.

True to your word, you sent him a birthday gift. You’re not sure if he ever got it, because you drifted apart weeks after ending your relationship. You supposed you should’ve seen it coming, especially after you warned yourself constantly that it would happen.

So you swore that you’d never fall in love again, unless they were the one.

Today was Choi Soobin’s birthday.

The Choi Soobin that you fell in love with that one fateful summer when you were nineteen. The Choi Soobin that flipped your entire perspective about yourself in one month than anyone else did in years. The Choi Soobin that you’d sneak onto the beach with at god-awful hours of the night, talking about nothing and everything all at once. The Choi Soobin that your parents adored, despite thinking you needed to focus on studies rather than a boy. The Choi Soobin that got away, even when he tried to assure you he’d stay.

Staring back at him now felt illegal. You felt like you were committing a sin by looking into those chocolate brown eyes that bear so many memories. Your chest is heavy all of a sudden and the room is closing in on you. It’s just you and Soobin, in the middle of this coffee shop. Your tunnel vision focuses on him only.

“Y/n.” He breathes, like he’s scared.

“S—“

Just like before, you don’t get to say his name, someone cutting in and stopping you. “Since when did it take two people to get three drinks? I don’t wanna be late for work.” The girl is pretty, you’ll admit. She has fair skin and silky black hair, leagues away from you. She blinks at you and switches her gaze from between the boys and you. Her tone is not at all snippy when she asks, “Who’s this?”

“Right— uh, this is Y/n. An old friend,” Yeonjun answers, as if you couldn’t speak for yourself. (You probably couldn’t.) “Y/n, this is Minjeong, Soobin’s— um— Soobin’s girlfriend.”

Oh.

You could’ve blamed the universe for dangling him in your face and then yanking him back after you finally began to get over it, but you didn’t. It was a sign that you were never able to fully say his name. Moving on was best. No matter how often you wished you were nineteen and in love back at home again. No matter how often you’re reminded that you’re more confident in yourself because of him. No matter how often you missed those late nights on the beach, glued to one another.

So this time, you’re the one that gets away.

“An iced americano and a caramel macchiato for Y/n!”

“It was good seeing you guys, and nice to meet you, Minjeong,” you rush out with a forced smile, flicking your eyes to Soobin. “He’s a keeper.”

You wave to the trio and go to retrieve your coffees, walking out of the cafe and not looking back, afraid that if you do, you’ll fall in love with Choi Soobin all over again. Exactly like you did when you were nineteen.

© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#happy belated bin 🫶 #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt fluff #txt angst #txt choi soobin #txt choi soobin x reader #txt soobin #txt soobin x reader #choi soobin #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #soobin x reader #soobin fluff #soobin angst #⭒ — fluffy fluff #❅ — in my feels #🐰 — csb #yeonjunszn

[harufluff]

‘where this is going…’ choi soobin

warnings - minor cursing, pretty angsty, sad reader, reader is mentioned to be shorter.

genre - angst, non idol!soobin x gn!reader

wc - about 500

‘why are you doing this…’

you ask, tears about to fall down your face. why was he doing this? if he wanted to, he could end a three year relationship with two words.

‘babe, it’s just-‘

‘don’t call me that.’

you stead sternly. his eyes widened slightly at your tone. you never spoke with him like this. well, guess it’s appropriate for the circumstances.

he held his head low before saying,

‘it’s just, i don’t know where this is going.’

where this is going. those were the words that got the tears flowing. the warm, salty tears rolling down your cheeks. soobin felt his heart clench at the sight of your reddening eyes.

‘please don’t cry.’

‘don’t tell me not to cry when you just said that. when you just said that you don’t see a future in what we have together.’

he looks at you through his dark bangs. hoping, maybe just maybe your tears have stopped. but low and behold they haven’t.

‘it’s not you. it’s just how i feel.’

‘and i respect that,’

you walk up to him and look up at your, well now your ex boyfriend. you blink fast while walking to make sure when you look at him, you come off with more confidence that your currently posses.

‘i respect that you’ve fallen out of love. i respect every damn thing you do, soobin. the truly tragic part about this is that you don’t respect me enough to come up with a better fucking explanation to break up with me.’

fuck, you felt the pricking at your eyes. his hands came up to your face to brush the tears away. for a moment you start leaning into his touch.

‘can’t we…at least stay friends…?’

your eyes slowly rise back to him. as you make eye contact, you nod your head no, with a painful smile painted on your lips.

at that simple action, soobins tears start to come down his face as well. his large hands moved down to your waist as he pulls you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

you let him cry as you stand there rubbing his back. you stood in this exact position every time he felt stressed about work or anything else. he would always find comfort in the soft, slow circles your gently hands rub into his back.

‘i saw where this was going. i saw us in the future. but now i don’t. i just see myself not with you.’

soobin says calmly, but shakily. you throw your head back, attempting to keep the tears in.

‘bye, bin.’

you take his arms from around your waist and grab your bag with only the necessities along with your phone.

‘goodbye, y/n’

that was the last word you heard from him. you texted him about a week later to pick up your things from your previously shared apartment. but that was it. he was out of your life.

©️Harufluff 2023 | Do not copy, claim, or repost any of my works.

#kflixnet #k labels #txt #txt fluff #txt angst #txt soobin #soobin fluff #choi soobin #soobin choi #soobin x reader #soobin #soobin angst #tomorrow x together #soobin x you #soobin x y/n #choi soobin angst

[biaswreckingfics]

🙈🙈 Jumping in one more time, but for TXT Soobin with prompts 114 and 30 please! Thank you again!!

Agent!Soobin + Angst -❤️❤️-

(Did they hurt you? + For what it's worth, I never gave up on you.)

Your body aches from head to toe as you lay on the ground of the storm cellar. The dampness of the room has chilled you to your bones, and you begin to wonder if it's worth it to keep fighting. Should you just give up now so that the pain and fear will stop? Will your team ever find you? Have they given up hope?

It's been at least three days, but you know you've lost time while being down here. You were in and out of consciousness when you were first brought in, so realistically, it could've been 5 or more days since you've been taken and left to die.

Rolling onto your back takes up more energy than you have, so you continue to lay in the fetal position and recall how you got in this mess. You've already attempted to find a way out of here and that search came up empty. Now, it's time to figure out the mistakes that lead to you being captured.

The first mistake was splitting away from your partner when you caught sight of one of the murderers as he ran away. The second mistake was not calling for backup and waiting. You really thought you could catch him before he got away, and that made you an idiot. Mistake number three was letting the killer get the upper hand and losing your power over him. Hell, you could probably go on forever about the mistakes you made. You're sure there's plenty.

You wonder what your team is doing now, and if they've caught the tandem killers. Is everyone okay? Did anyone else get caught in the crosshairs? Your heart clenches at the thought of one of your team members being injured or killed by those psychopaths. One is enough.

Of course, your mind travels to Soobin, your ex-boyfriend and also the leader of your team. You know he'd be able to pull himself together and keep the team focused on the matter at hand. It's one of the qualities you've always admired about him, even after you broke up. He always knew when to show emotions and when to keep them under wraps.

A metal thunk outside of the cellar catches your attention. Your eyes drift around the room, but there's nowhere to hide. When soft footsteps begin to creep up on the door to your room, you drag yourself to the corner and try to put your back against the wall. It's a half-assed attempt, and you end up sagging against the wall, but whatever.

Thunk after thunk reaches your ears and you realize you're hearing doors down the hall being opened methodically like someone's searching for something. Hope blooms to life in your chest and you call out to whoever it is. The movement is tactical and you want to cry at the thought of your impending rescue.

"In here," you do your best to yell, but it comes out hoarse.

Regardless, footsteps start running in your direction and you begin to cry. The door bangs open and you see Beomgyu's wide eyes take in your meek form on the ground. He yells for the others and soon half of your team is in the doorway.

Soobin pushes his way through the group and runs over to your corner. His eyes frantically search your body as he asks, "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine," you weakly tell him.

He gathers you up in his arms and holds you tightly. "I'm sorry it took so long… We lost your track and the killers nearly got away."

"It's alright. You're here now." You attempt to smile up at him.

He gently grabs your head and places it back against his chest. "For what it's worth, I never gave up on you."

#soobin drabbles #soobin au #soobin angst #soobin scenarios #soobin fanfic #soobin fic #soobin imagines #agent!soobin #choi soobin fanfic #choi soobin fic #choi soobin scenarios #choi soobin au #choi soobin angst #choi soobin drabbles #txt fanfic #txt fic #txt drabbles #txt ff #txt angst #txt au #txt scenarios #txt imagines #agent!txt

[beom1e]

admiring you from afar

you’d been in this situation before — an accidental run-in with choi soobin at a convenience store. this time, though, you’re just two strangers who happen to find the other interesting. well, at least that’s how soobin sees it.

pairing choi soobin x fem! reader

genre fluffy themes but ultimately angst, mutual pining, right person wrong time

warnings heartbroken soobin ig, not yet proofread

of course, as soon you stepped outside it began to rain. you quickly locked the back door behind yourself, double checking to ensure the coffee shop wouldn’t be broken into on your account. there was no way for you to shield yourself from the rain, so you ran quickly across the street with one hand held above your head.

thank god for the 24-hour convenience store just down the street.

you slowed to a stop just outside the glass doors before pulling open one of them. your feet shuffled loudly against the entrance mat to dry your shoes off, and you wrapped your arms tightly around your body to keep yourself warm. it was raining quite heavily, so the majority of your clothing was damp.

it was quite empty inside, considering it was late on a sunday. most people were probably sleeping early in order to get up for school and work tomorrow, an idea you would have had if not for the constant muddled feeling in your head. with a sigh, you began looking around. you could get yourself something warm to eat and grab a coffee just to make sure you’d be able to stay awake long enough to finish your assignment before your morning class.

you ran your finger along the labels displayed across the shelves as you searched for the flavour of ramen you were craving. that was when you heard approaching footsteps and felt the presence of somebody standing not too far from you.

soobin noticed you first, he turned his head to the right and watched you curiously. naturally you turned back to see he was looking at you, before snapping your head back to stare at the labels. you grabbed the nearest one and began walking away as casually as you possibly could.

you promised yourself you wouldn’t get involved, even if it would occur naturally this time. soobin could only watch you walk away, confused but also not interested enough to chase you.

in another aisle, you grabbed some instant coffee to take back to your dorm. as you walked towards the cashier, you noticed that soobin was also heading that way. he looked back at you, eliminating your chance to stall and wait for him to leave.

as you came to stand in front of the cashier, so did soobin. he silently gestured for you to go first, but you shook your head and moved to stand behind him.

‘are you sure?’ he turned back. ‘you only have two things.’

‘yeah, it’s fine,’ you smiled. ‘i’m not in any rush.’

soobin placed his things down onto counter for the cashier to scan, before holding his hands out to you. you looked up at him with confusion before realising he wanted you to place your items into his hands. you tried to fight back a smile as you did so, and watched him add your things to counter.

‘and these too,’ he spoke, reaching into his pocket for his wallet.

‘you didn’t have to do that,’ you waited at his side while he scanned his card. he grabbed your things first and held them out to you, sending you a smile. ‘thank you.’

‘would you like to eat with me?’ the tone of his voice was hopeful, but you felt like doing so would be crossing the line you had drawn for yourself. ‘don’t feel like you have to.’

‘i mean, i was only going to go back to my dorm,’ you shrugged. ‘i guess it wouldn’t hurt to hide from the rain a little longer.’

soobin led you to a table by the windows, placing his bag down on the surface. you couldn’t help but realise the bag was filled with snacks for the rest of the boys, your smile faltering for only a second. you knew you shouldn’t be sitting there, you should have tried harder to distance yourself from him.

‘how come you’re here so late?’ soobin spoke first, sliding the packaging off his straw before stabbing it into his drink.

‘i was working the closing shift,’ you shrugged. ‘what about you?’

‘i needed some time alone with my thoughts,’ he leaned back in his chair, feeling strangely comfortable in your presence. ‘i live with four other people, it can get pretty loud.’

‘i know the feeling,’ you laughed softly, thinking back to your own roommates. ‘do you go to school here?’

it was easy to talk to soobin, something you quickly realised. you knew him to be shy and sometimes hesitant due to him being an introvert, but he talked so comfortably with you. he talked about his band and other aspects of his life, all of which happened to be things you already knew. he didn’t know that, though, and he never would.

he accompanied you to the section of the store dedicated to actually cooking your food. he was leaning back against the wall while you waited for the noddles to cook, watching your every move and looking for a chance to swoop in. the opportunity came when you tried to rip open the sauce packet and failed miserably.

with a smile, he’d gently took the packet from your hands and tore it open, stepping closer to you so that he could squeeze its contents into the small tub. you thanked him quietly and allowed him to mix everything together before you were able to head back to your table to eat.

it could have been hours that you were sitting there, but you definitely hadn’t been keeping count. you were too caught up in being so close to him, laughing about stupid things and oversharing about recent events in your lives. soobin didn’t know what it was, but he felt as though his heart has latched itself onto yours and was never going to let go. you liked the real soobin just as much as he liked you, but it was an impossible pairing.

the rain had stopped by the time soobin realised he should head back, having left his phone at home with no other way to contact his bandmates. he wouldn’t let this be your last time together, so he had to act fast.

‘it’s getting late,’ he spoke, making the smile on your face fade. ‘i should probably get going.’

‘me too,’ you tried not to show your disappointment. ‘i have an assignment due tomorrow.’

the two of you cleared away the table quietly, neither of you wanting to break the silence and have to wish the other farewell. you announced that you needed to go to the bathroom, leaving soobin with time to come up with his master plan.

you walked away and disappeared from sight, and he quickly tugged his hoodie over his head. after folding it neatly for you, he searched his pockets for any kind of paper and found an expired bus ticket. you shook the water from your hands and looked up at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and checking your appearance. soobin had to borrow the pen from the cashier to scribbled down his number, before he folded the crumpled ticket tightly and shoved it into the pocket of his hoodie.

there was a spring in your step as you came back towards soobin, where he stood waiting eagerly for you. before you could even speak, he was holding his folded hoodie out to you.

‘i don’t want you to catch a cold,’ he smiled shyly, waiting patiently for you to accept his offer. you smiled to yourself, gladly taking it from his hands. ‘you can just return it whenever, i usually come here this time of night.’

‘you’re too kind,’ you smoothed your hand over the material. ‘don’t worry, i won’t keep it for too long.’

‘keep it as long as you’d like to,’ he shrugged as if it was nothing. both of you knew it was much more than nothing. ‘i guess this is bye for now, then.’

‘i guess,’ you agreed. ‘goodnight, soobin.’

‘goodnight, y/n,’

with that, he pushed open the glass doors and began walking down the street. you sighed, your shoulders dropping, before you unravelled the material and held it out in front of you. oh well, it probably wasn’t going to hurt to put it on.

it was impossible to take off. it was large and fleece-lined and smelled just like soobin. you’d noticed his number only three minutes after putting it on, but you still hadn’t texted him almost three days later. how could you when you knew it was wrong? you couldn’t just date a boy you’d previously put under a love spell, whether it was your fault or not.

soobin was beginning to lose hope. he’d check his phone in the morning and at lunch and just before bed, and he still hadn’t received a text from you. had he been too bold?

he’d never felt that way about somebody else before, but maybe he was just overreacting. maybe he’d grown too lonely to notice a real connection with somebody. maybe you’d been sitting there just begging the universe to give you an excuse to leave and thinking about how annoying this talkative stranger had been. maybe he’d gone so insane that he imagined the whole thing, and you simply didn’t exist. he was afraid to open his wardrobe and see the grey hoodie just sitting there, untouched.

but it had been real, you felt it too. the way you conversed like old friends that got the chance to reconnect, the way he so naturally helped you when you struggled as if it was something he did everyday. the eye contact that didn’t make you want to break away and stare at the ground, the sound of his laughter when you talked about your two best friends and their constant bickering.

you sighed, falling back against your bed and holding your phone above your face. you’d resaved his contact and were staring at the blank photograph sitting above his name.

just a few streets away, soobin chewed the inside of his cheek while staring at his blank screen. his heart was racing with the thought that you might come around and text him. maybe you were hesitant at first because he’d been a stranger, but followed your heart and decided to pursue him. there was also the possibility that you hadn’t even gotten his number.

with that, he sat straight up and practically fell from his bed on his way out. he hoped you would be sitting there at your previously shared table with his hoodie on, a smile lighting up your features as soon as he walks in.

‘so you’re just never going to text him?’ sunghoon hummed to himself, taking a sip from his straw.

‘i can’t text him,’ you frowned. ‘it would be weird.’

‘it wasn’t your fault or his fault,’ chaeyoung reasoned. ‘there’s no rule that says you can’t go out with him.’

‘i’m not texting him,’ you huffed, sinking further into your seat. ‘the thought that he would find out what i did makes me sick. it would be cruel to lie to him constantly. how could i date someone who will never get to know who i really am?’

‘you’re thinking too much about it,’ sunghoon placed his drink down rather loudly, making you jump. ‘get rid of all of the evidence that you two used to know each other.’

‘and what do i do when one of the boys realise who i am?’ you brought your hand up to fiddle with a ‘care instructions’ sticker still stuck to the table. ‘or what if nabi comes back and exposes me, huh? what if my face appears on the news and soobin gets to it first? no, it’s not happening.’

‘you’re allowed to be happy, you know?’ chaeyoung placed her hand on yours, tightening her hold to move your hand away from the peeling sticker. ‘what happened wasn’t your fault. we understand that it was hard for you too, and losing the five of them took a toll on you, but you don’t have to live in the past.’

you snatched your hand back, rolling your eyes. they didn’t understand, or maybe they just we’re trying to.

deja vu. you locked the back door and ran quickly across the street. hand above your head, pulling open the glass door, drying your shoes on the entrance mat.

instead of heading down the same aisle again, you approached that familiar table and placed your bag down onto it. you pulled out the hoodie and placed it on the table in front of the seat you’d sat in only a week ago. this time you had a note of your own.

you folded the note neatly and placed it on top of the hoodie, feeling a pang of guilt in your chest. slinging your bag across your body, you quickly searched the aisles for onigiri and some strawberry milk. as you placed your things down in front of the cashier, the glass doors opened. thankfully you had a hoodie of your own this time that you hid behind as soobin walked in.

placing the exact amount into the cashier’s hand, you rushed down another aisle in order to avoid soobin. when you were hidden, you took a peak to see the boy unfolding the note. he was anxiously chewing his bottom lip, a hopeful smile on his lips.

his expression dropped shortly after, and he lifted his head to search for you. you gasped, pressing yourself flat against the aisle’s end. he hadn’t seen you, thankfully for you.

‘i’m sorry,’ was all that the note said. it was short and simple and straight to the point.

you’d spent hours writing explanations. you were in a serious relationship, you’d just forgotten to mention it before. college was too demanding for you to fit a relationship in your life as well. you were on a dating ban. you just weren’t into him like that. but in the end, all you had to say for yourself was that you were sorry.

soobin tried not to feel like his heart had just been trampled on. he scrunched the note up into a ball and dropped it back onto the table, before he picked up his hoodie and walked right out of the store without a single look back.

it had all been for nothing. the wondering and worrying about you, the excuses he’d made in your defence. all the nights he’d waited at the table for you to show, the searches of your name that he did but quickly backed out of for feeling creepy.

you often visited the convenience store in hopes that you would see soobin. not to talk to him or to apologise properly, but just to see his face again. it was stupid and selfish, you knew it. if you wanted to see his face so bad, you could just visit his socials.

it got to the point that you began visiting other convenience stores nearby, just hoping that he would be there. you tried a new one every week, and had never been successful.

until you were simply scanning shelves for something to eat, and the bell to signal a new customer rang. you spun around, eyes widening when you saw that it was soobin. he didn’t head down any aisles, simply sat down and pulled out his phone.

you hid yourself behind the nearest aisle to him and watched as he smiled down at the screen. he typed quickly and with reason, as if delighted to be talking to that particular person. and it all made sense when the bell rang again, and somebody approached soobin at the table. he stood, pulling the grey hoodie-clad figure into a hug before placing a kiss on their cheek. they sat beside him and reached for his hand, playing with his fingers.

soobin felt eyes on him, and turned his head to see you. there was sadness in your gaze, your desire to hide no longer there. but soobin wasn’t going to seek happiness in you when he’d already found it in somebody else. so he didn’t care that you felt the crushing weight of heartbreak upon seeing him with somebody else, because your simple ‘i’m sorry’ had brought that same feeling to him only weeks ago.

lonely hearts masterlist

taglist @soobana @frozen-yogurt14 @chillfilms @robin-obsessed @gyuville @fallingforya @yeppeudau @woooooooosh8 @softforqiankun @iyeonjuni @1-800-lixie @gorechoi

#txt #tomorrow x together #choi soobin #soobin #txt oneshot #txt fluff #txt angst #txt au #choi soobin oneshot #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin angst #choi soobin au #soobin oneshot #soobin fluff #soobin angst #soobin au

[enluv]

010: I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND! — THAT’S THE THING!

– warnings: dark humor (kms, die, etc jokes!), profanity, simp soobin, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n #1: this chapter is set in the future – when y/n goes on tour!

a/n #2: under the images you'll find a section titled "behind the album" this is where you can find out facts about the characters! make sure to check it out after the chapter.

MASTERLIST / PREV / end!

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ behind the album:

– y/n’s tour lasted six months, it was extended by two and yeji went with her on it! many of her friends flew to visit her on tour :)

– yeonjun doesnt actually have a crush on y/n but they keep up the gag to mess with soobin!!

– soobin did ask y/n to be his girlfriend in person when he saw her

– sunwoo, soobin, keeho, and the rest of the boys are all very good friends, you can often catch the models of the group booking shoots together and the youtubers of the group have series with them all called “saturdays are for the boys” where they go out on dates together

– lotus (the duo group consisting of y/n and yeji) are rumored to have a comeback soon!

coco’s ♡︎ note: I feel like I have so much to say but no words to say it all!! After a month long, that’s the thing has finally come to an end. I started this series with no thought to it, I’d planned it all in one night when I couldn’t sleep and I’m honestly so surprised at what it grew to be. Thank you to everyone who had helped me write it when I was stuck and thank you to those who have continued to support it!! I hope this smau has made you happy as much as it has made me. This may be the end for Y/N and Soobin but it’s not the end for me! Please look out for more to come from me :) Thank you all so much!! As always, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

TTT TAGLIST! - @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @nhularin @neoculturewhat @hyuk4ngel @ddeonubaby @oulspvs @sullystraw @liliyaaaaas-library @rainbowszi @fanfangying1304 @tocupid —TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

#🎞️: that’s the thing. #choi soobin #soobin #txt soobin #soobin smau #tomorrow x together #choi soobin angst #choi soobin smau #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin fic #txt choi soobin #choi soobin txt #soobin au #soobin series #soobin social media au #txt soobin smau #txt soobin fluff #soobin fluff #txt smau #txt social au #txt x reader #soobin txt #txt social media au #txt fluff #txt au #txt series #tomorrow x together smau #tomorrow x together text #soobin tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together fluff

[kaaayeomi]

☆ until we meet again - choi soobin

SYNOPSIS — you were always meant to be with soobin, even in your guys’ last moments.

INFO — angst. tiny bit of fluff ( just a tiny bit ). soobin x neutral!reader.

WORD COUNT — 398

WARNINGS — mentions of death. mention of a plane crash. grammar mistakes. lmk if i missed any.

you don’t understand where everything went wrong. everything was going fine until now.

a nice vacation with the one you loved. it was an amazing 5 week vacation strolling through the streets of [country of your choice] with the love of your life. hand in hand, going wherever your feet lead you too.

you were just getting on a plane to go home. it wasn’t supposed to end like this.

it’s moments like these when you look back and appreciate what you had. you don’t really know what moments gonna be your last until it’s too late.

“hello! would you like to be my friend?” a little soobin said as he extended his hand out. “sure! whats your name?” you said as you accepted his hand. “im choi soobin! and you?”. “im y/n”.

“i-i just don’t understand. we were doing so g-good” you sobbed onto soobin’s shoulder complaining about how your newly ex had dumped you. “it’s okay, im here. maybe it wasn’t meant to be…” he said as he held your hand.

“soobin?…”. “it’s okay if you don’t like me back. but i just can’t hide and pretend that i don’t love y-“ soobin was cut off by you hugging him. “i love you too, you idiot” you said as you hid your face in his chest. “im sorry, what was that?” he teased. you chuckled.

“soob! look! isn’t it beautiful?” you said as you pointed at the sunset. “it’s gorgeous even. i wish we could stay like this forever” he said as he held tightly onto your hand.

the planes sudden bump had shaken you out of your thoughts. the speaker had come back again. “passengers, oxygen mask will be dropped down in a second. please follow the instructions given”.

soobin’s grip on your hand was tightened. “i-im so sorry love. i didn’t know it was gonna be like this” he said as tears were falling down this cheeks.

tears came out one by one. you reached towards his face and dried the tears away only for more to appear. “i-its okay, soob. its not your fault” you said as you tried to put on a brave tone.

you could feel the plane start to fall down. “i promise to meet you again in the next life. just wait for me” he said as he kept his tight grip on your hand.

and then it went dark.

AUTHORS NOTE : how’d you guys like this one? i’m rly feeding y’all. two stories in one week. but anyways pray for me, i have evaluations for dance tomorrow 😵‍💫.

#txt #txt soobin #choi soobin #txt choi soobin #choi soobin imagines #soobin imagines #txt imagines #choi soobin x you #choi soobin x reader #soobin x you #soobin x reader #choi soobin angst #soobin angst #txt angst #kpop imagines #kpop angst #kpop

[txtdiaries]

Axiom Academy for Extraordinary Boys - Two (Preview)

SUMMARY | Axiom Academy for Extraordinary Boys — one of the most elite magic schools in the world. Teaching its’ boys to defend themselves in magic with their own specialty, unique to every single one, and with the integrity of one who attends such a school.

Axiom Boys learn to hold the world in their fingertips and manipulate the sorcery in their veins. Axiom Academy, an institute for only the most gifted young wizards in existence.

That is, until one, reluctant girl is suddenly forced to enroll.

PAIRING | choi soobin x female reader + the rest of txt and other kpop idols!

CATEGORY | magic academy, boarding school-esque, magic, wizards, witches, dark themes, etc.

WARNINGS | swearing, dark themes, yeonjun being Annoying pt. 2

WORD COUNT | 3.2k

SONG REC | Satellite - Harry Styles

PLAYLIST | link

A/N: Uhhhh is this how I break my year and a half long hiatus? Yes. Yes, it is. Also pls ignore how amateur that cover image looks,,,, it’s been a while, I just think that Sweater Vest Soobin......

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two Preview / Chapter Two

The sun is hidden behind a mass of gray clouds, twisted and woven throughout each other as they cast shadows along the grounds of Axiom Academy. Within the walls of the grand establishment, the auditorium is packed to capacity. The entire student body is seated and eager for the day that lies ahead, and it’s almost like everyone in the room itself can feel the tension in the air as they buzz with excitement.

Everyone but Soobin.

The tall boy feels uncomfortable in his chair as he tries to sink lower into it, and the loud voices around him only add to the anxiety he has swimming through his veins.

Today is probably one of the most important days in Axiom Academy’s history, and Soobin would have rather stayed in bed.

The dark-haired boy sighs and looks over at Yeonjun, who is seated next to him and picking at his fingernails. His friend meets his eyes expectedly, and when Soobin rolls his eyes at the situation, Yeonjun has to stifle a laugh.

“I’m guessing you’re not excited to see her, hm?” Yeonjun asks as his hands fall to his lap.

“Not exactly,” Soobin replies, “I kind of want to get this over with.”

Yeonjun shrugs, “Don’t worry. It’ll be over before you know it and then we can all go back to our dreaded eight hours. Can’t wait, right?”

Soobin nods silently before relaxing into his seat again. Everyone around him looks restless, and Soobin feels out of place among them. He keeps his eyes aimed down for the next few minutes, only looking up when he hears shushed voices sound throughout the crowd.

“Attention, boys.”

The Academy’s president - President Kim - is standing upon the stage, silver robes touching the floor below him, and his wand is resting behind his ear. He’s beaming widely as he raises his hands to quiet down the students.

“I’d like to welcome you all to Axiom Academy’s New Student Assembly. We have a number of new students arriving to us today, and we are filled with joy to be welcoming them to our established institute.”

Soobin looks around as a loud applause fills the auditorium. Some of the fellow professors work to move a large, metal box onto the stage, and the cover thrown overtop of it is sparkling with dark blues and whites.

Soobin knows it’s the box that crafts wands for new students. He knows because on his first day everyone around him was ecstatic to get their brand-new wand. He knows because he sat around everyone that day listening to all of his friends try out new spells they had no idea how to say.

He knows because it’s the same machine that never crafted a wand for him. He can’t help but look at it with disgust now.

After the coos of interest settle down at the box being shown to all the new students, President Kim speaks again, his voice beaming with pride.

“Today, things are going to be a little different than they usually are for us here at Axiom Academy. Typically, we would introduce our new students by age and have them come down one by one to retrieve their wands. However, we have a very special student enrolling here today who I can only allow to come first.”

The crowd is deadly silent now, and Soobin feels uneasy as he watches the president wave his hands excitedly somewhere to the side. His robe flaps around his arms, and then he is speaking in a loud voice.

“Without further ado, it brings me great pleasure to welcome our first ever female student here at Axiom Academy. Students, please welcome Miss F/N L/N!”

It is motionless – like everything is going in slow motion – and then Soobin sees her.

The claps around him are muffled as he looks at her, eyes roaming over her face and body as she makes her way up onto the stage, and Soobin can’t help the feeling that he feels inside his stomach as she does so. He feels light, like someone has just cast a spell within his body, making it so he feels about a hundred pounds lighter. He almost feels dizzy before Yeonjun is digging his elbow into his ribs, tearing his focus away from the girl all at once.

“That’s her?”

Soobin can’t do much but nod, watching as she stops in front of President Kim, who is rambling on about the box in front of her.

“Well shit, I take back what I sound about her not being cute. She’s-”

“Shut up, Jun.” Soobin says, ignoring the burning in his side. He watches the cloth slip easily off the glass box and the students around him gasp, impressed. The girl furrows her eyebrows at the thing, confused as President Kim explains what to do.

“Our new student will step upon the platform and place her hand on the designated pad.”

The small, metal pad is large enough for a palm, and Soobin wonders if they’ve told her exactly what it does in order to create the wand.

The girl slowly presses her hand to the box, and everyone watches as the jerks her hand back after a few moments, rubbing her hand along her skirt as she does so. Her palm, now burning with heat, has had the energy pulled from it. The box’s main job, to pull the energy from each and every student’s body, and craft a wand fit from the information it gathers.

Some students have powers so obvious in their bodies it takes just seconds for the box to create their wand. For others, it takes a few moments for the box to analyze the data it has received. The flash of intensity that comes from practically scanning a student’s entire DNA through their palm isn’t always a quick process, much as everyone would like it to be.

Soobin feels jealousy fill up within him as the gears begin moving in the box, winding around the block of wood placed within it. He looks away, ready to curse the girl into oblivion, before the machine stops whirring, and gasps fill the room.

He looks back quickly, watching as the small block stays untouched, and the girl looks at it, confused.

Soobin’s heart pounds so hard against his chest he feels like it will fall out. He knows that look, he knows that feeling, because it’s the exact one he felt before he realized his fate would be changed forever. Before he realized he was not like the other students. Before he realized he was not getting a wand.

“Oh, um, pardon me-” President Kim exclaims, moving closer to the box to inspect it. The crowd around him suddenly erupts in low whispers, the students already gossiping about the event happening in front of them.

Soobin can feel Yeonjun’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he focuses on the girl, who’s now staring at her shoes like they’re the most important thing in the world.

“My apologies everyone,” President Kim says, “It seems we’re having some troubles with this. If everyone would stay seated, we will continue the ceremony in a moment.”

Soobin watches as President Kim instructs the girl to find her seat, and he watches as she makes her way off the stage and to her seat to the front of the auditorium. The last thing Soobin sees is her let out a large sigh before she collapses into her seat, shoulders slouching as she does so.

The assembly continues on after around half an hour, the younger new students all getting their wands crafted with ease. It all becomes a bit boring after a while, and Soobin can’t help but feel, deep down, that the girl is feeling the exact same thing he felt all those years ago when he was in her shoes.

Dread. Absolute dread, for all that is to come.

—

Advanced Creature Mythology is a two hour long course, with a half hour break between ten and twelve in the afternoon. It is a class not meant for the faint hearted, or lazy, and it just happens to be Soobin’s favorite class. Typically, he’d have Demonology first period and AP Transfiguration second. However, with the New Student’s assembly stretching through the two early hours of the morning, Soobin’s first class of the day ends up being his longest yet. However, he’s grateful to finally have something to focus on that isn’t the new student.

Axiom’s lecture halls are quite spacious, and Soobin observes his surroundings as his fellow students begin to pile into the classroom. The wall to his left isn’t a wall at all, just a large class window spanning the entire length of the hall, but it provides for a beautiful view. He can see the campus grounds from where he sits, and he admires the trees and castle structures across the grounds for a few moments before his eyes keep wandering. The hall is almost like a stadium, built in a descending manner. Rows and rows of seats are lined up until they reach the ground floor, where a podium stands in front of two massive white boards and a projector screen. The screen is pulled up, so Soobin knows that they won’t be going over any powerpoints today. Instead, he watches as his professor twirls a dry erase marker through his fingers, eyes scanning over the textbook silently, and Soobin knows it will be a long two hours of notes.

The seats are a muted tan color, the wall to his extended right is pure oak, and the colors blend nicely with the white desks stretched along the length of the rows. Soobin’s items lie in front of him neatly: notebook, pencil case, laptop, ipad, phone, and textbook. He typically takes hand notes, but he always brings his electronics just in case they go over powerpoints and he’s too far away to see the screen. That’s one thing about Soobin - he always likes to be prepared.

The rest of the students finally settle in their seats as the professor begins to write on the whiteboard. Only, he’s only three letters into writing CHAPTER TWO before the hall door is pushed open, gaining the attention of the rest of the students.

Soobin’s pupils blow wide when he sees her - the new girl - striding into the class with a backpack slung over her shoulder and water bottle in hand. She’s chewing on her bottom lip, eyes scanning the hall for a seat, before she finally sees Soobin from where she stands. He’s seated near the back, and he’s got the whole row to himself. He doesn’t know what else he expects when the girl starts walking to his area.

“Excuse me, miss…”

The girl stops and looks down at the professor at the front of the class. She raises her eyebrows in surprise before speaking.

“Y/L/N.” The girl says, bowing apologetically at the professor before speaking again, “My apologies. I had to stay behind to talk to President Kim. He said if you had any questions, just ask him.”

Soobin watches as the professor nods in understanding and swiftly moves on, turning his back to continue writing on the board, “Class begins at ten sharp, but I’ll make an exception today.”

And then the moment is gone. And Soobin is left with a sick feeling trailing through his nervous system. The girl suddenly stops in front of him, and he looks up at her, trying to seem casual as he does so.

—

“Is it okay if I sit there?” You ask, looking down at the boy as you point to the seat next to him. He’s adorning a gray sweater vest with a white button down underneath it, and his sleeves are rolled up perfectly, showing off his long, slender arms. His dark gray pleated jeans are paired with black oxfords, and you notice a ring on his pointer finger before you look him in the eyes again. He looks nervous, practically shaking as his wide eyes stare at you. You could sit literally anywhere else in the row, you would just really like the company after the morning you’ve had.

“Uh- yeah, let me just-”

He scrambles to move his stuff to the other side of his laptop, and you slip past his chair before he’s plucking his bag off the seat and dropping it by his feet. He finishes moving his phone just as you sit down and zip open your own backpack.

“Thanks.” You finish, finally taking out your textbook and laptop as well, setting them down gently in front of you as the boy flips open his own book.

“I guess I missed syllabus week.” You comment, watching as the professor finishes writing CHAPTER TWO on the board in black marker before moving back to the podium. The boy next to you lets out a breath that could almost be considered a laugh and then he’s talking to you again.

“Chapter one was simple. It’ll take you an hour to get through, if that.”

“Good to know.” You say, booting up your laptop before you finally turn to face the boy. He’s got his notebook turned to a blank page and he’s writing along the top of the paper. He stops once he realizes you’re looking at him.

“What’s your name?” You ask him, noticing how his voice has a slight lilt in pitch when he answers again.

“My name? It’s-”

“Choi Soobin.” The professor calls from the podium, making the pair of you look back at him with flushed features.

“Can you please tell me where the earliest depiction of vampyres was reported as it relates to geographical location in the late 17th century?”

You look back at the boy who’s answering before you can even feel embarrassed for being caught talking.

“Ancient Greece.” He answers, twirling his pen in his hand. The professor gives him a stern look before looking back down at the text.

“Correct. Please pay attention, students.” And then he’s rambling off again, discussing key points of the chapter meant to be covered for the period.

The two of you continue taking notes quietly, staying silent now.

In-between glances at the board and at your books, you two meet eyes - just once.

And you smile at the boy next to you, feeling like he could be a nice person. Everything else aside, he’s the first person you’ve met today who’s looked at you like a regular girl, not some exhibit to be picked apart, piece by piece.

You’ve made up your mind when Soobin smiles back at you. You want to get to know him.

-------------

After the almost two hour lecture is finally over, you’re seriously regretting signing up for the advanced class. If it was going to be like this every other day of the week, you are sure you’ll be burnt out even before midterms roll around.

The dining hall is huge, with matte black walls that reach heights you aren’t used to seeing, and arched windows and a skylight that show off the forest which reaches far beyond campus. The tables are thick oak, and the chairs are the exact same. Floating orbs of light hover near the ceiling, never touching it of course, but being the main source of light apart from the outside lighting shining into the large cafeteria.

You exit the short food line with your tray in hand, eyes searching for a place to sit among the countless boys you see around you. It would be infinitely easier if there was just one girl around, just a single one, but you’re very clearly out of luck in this situation. You’re walking slowly, trying to find an empty table to sit at before you see a mass of black hair, leaning forward as he twirls a pair of chopsticks between his fingers like one would drum sticks.

You make your way over eagerly, hoping the boy doesn’t outright reject you in front of the rest of the boys you see at the table.

A blue-haired boy is going off about something excitedly when you near the table, and you can hear the tail end of his conversation before you finally reach the table.

“-And I’m telling you if you wedge just enough pork into the spicy rice cake and add some of that sauce onto it, it literally tastes like pure fucking gold-”

The boy stops his rant when you get close enough to be noticed, and you see how wide his eyes go when they land on you, standing there, holding your food.

“Hi,” You say, smiling at everyone nervously. Soobin looks up at you and looks just as surprised as his blue-haired friend.

“Hi Soobin.” You say directly to the boy, watching as his friends all look at him like he’s growing a second head out of his neck. Soobin swallows the food stuffed in his cheeks before his lips snap open.

“Uh- hi! Hi, Y/N.”

“Mind if I sit?” You ask, looking back at the rest of the boys hopefully.

A beat passes before the two eldest boys are both shaking their heads and sputtering out nonsense, shoving stray books from the table into bags and gathering up water bottles to make room. It’s pure chaos as they try to clear a space, and napkins go flying in the air as everyone moves around quickly.

“Fucking make room, Beom.” The blue-haired boy hisses under his breath, glaring at the brunette boy next to him before sliding his backpack toward the edge of the table. The younger boy tosses his bag to the floor before motioning to the seat next to him.

“You can sit here,” He smiles.

“Thanks,” You say, finally settling into the seat before letting out a big sigh. The boys finally calm down, and Soobin clears his throat, giving you a small grin from where he sits directly across the table.

It’s quiet for a few moments as you break your own chopsticks apart and pick up a piece of food with them, quickly taking a bite before chewing. The food here isn’t half bad, and with the right sauce, you think that it could actually be really good. You glance up for a second to see all eyes on you, before they all turn away, trying not to be obvious.

One of the boys near you clears his throat before looking at Soobin, breaking the awkward silence.

“Hyung, how was class?”

“Class was good.” Soobin nods, referring to the class he undoubtedly shared with you just ten minutes beforehand, “We mainly went over vampyre mythology the whole period.”

“Man,” The blue-haired boy shakes his head before biting into the rolled up sushi clamped between his chopsticks, “That class sounds so sick.”

“It’s, like, two hours long, Jun. I don’t think sick is really the right word to describe it.” Soobin explains, giving you a glance before taking a bite of his own food.

“Depends on how you’re using the word.” You think out loud, eyes snapping to the boy you assume is named Jun as he suddenly laughs around his food.

You meet eyes with him and he’s grinning like he approves of your quick humor.

“What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t,” You set your chopsticks down and extend your hand to him, “But it’s Y/N.”

“Yeonjun.” The boy says, meeting you halfway as he shakes your hand softly, “You can call me Jun, if you’d like.”

“Nice to meet you.” You nod, finally pulling away before going back for your chopsticks. Yeonjun does the same as he smiles at you.

You could get used to having these boys around.

#UHHHH.... HI LMFAO #CRUCIFY IF U MUST THIS IS FROM LIKE A YEAR AGO.... O WELL #I had a dream abt soob last night he dragged me back. thank him #IM BACK BITCHES #axiom academy #axiom academy for extraordinary boys #SooBin #soobin drabble #soobin fluff #choi soobin #choi soobin blurb #choi soobin imagine #choi soobin angst #choi soobin fluff #soobin au #choi soobin au #soobin angst #Soobin imagine #soobin imagines #txtdiaries #lana.txt #txt #tomorrow x together au #tomorrow x together drabbles #tomorrow x together fic #tomorrow x together angst #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop angst #kpop fic