#choices will have to be made

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

#good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #do you have any idea how hard it was to distinguish wtf he was wearing exactly #when this walking disaster idea of fashion is black on black on black on black??!?!!? #i had to up the lightness to the max #and i'm still not 100% on the details tbh #but oh well #I'm sure I made better choices than he did

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[araekniarchive]

@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

#web weaving #webs #mine #theme: sickness #theme: sleep #theme: this is me trying #theme: i have no choice but to live with this #so. i havent made any webs in a while #ive been working full time and really struggling; turns out my thyroid has become unbalanced again #in addition to the cfs which has been actively ruining my life for eight years now #and this is how i feel about it. basically. #tw chronic illness #@mnvart #minava #kaveh akbar #twitter #@kosmogrl #@devinsturk #jasmine deporta #anais nin #@inkskinned #rora blue #hala alyan #chronic fatigue syndrome #myalgic encephalomyelitis

[zellk]

Githyanki doodling on post-it notes that I cleaned up a lil bit Lae'zel from memory on the first (im only happy with the profile tbh), and Anma and Mitas on the second (It was SO easy to fit them in BG3 lore it's insane... I even have a whole storyline roughly figured out for them and it came together in like 30 minutes on my walk home from work.) I don't have any energy to draw nowadays except on post-its, but it's better than nothing.

#baldur's gate 3 #ocs #oc #mitas #anma #lae'zel #beary sketch #mitas camcara #anma camcara #mitas and anma aren't really classic “crèche” githyankis... or well they used to be but :^)c #let's say that Anma follows Voss' ideals #Mitas tries to help her but she's never in the same spot so Mitas gets to be Tav's companion #while Anma is an npc you meet on his storyline #the meeting goes.... very differently depending on your choices :^) #zellk #i made a game with the two of them together in it #and most of the time i have lae'zel in the team too (after she learns a few things Anma would get along quite well with her) #so it's like #3 giths team #it's so fucking funny #3 toads #bg3

[tofixtheshadows]

So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.

And I kept wondering: why?

For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.

So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.

But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.

The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.

Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?

That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.

My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.

Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.

Milsiril the puppetmaster.

#Dungeon Meshi #Dungeon Meshi meta #Mithrun #Milsiril #Kabru #btw I'm working with the only translations I could find sorry #so keep that in mind #like it just seemed WEIRD to me #that gloomy introverted Milsiril #who left the life of a Canary behind #decided to do this Canary-adjacent work of helping this guy #maybe the queen made her do it because so many people died and they needed more Canaries idk! #but why would anyone pick Milsiril as a life coach? I really think it was her own choice #it's so interesting how we get these hints of a downright sinster Milsiril #I really like the complicated relationship she and Kabru have #struggling to fully humanize him from her elven perspective #but still taking him seriously wrt: his fears over being a monster or his desire to go to a party! #crazy stuff there #everything about Kabru and adjacent to Kabru is insane what a character #musings with Dea

[theminecraftbee]

[image ID: tango’s latest thumbnail, for his season 10 episode “Steam Punk Smart Factory Auto Crafting!”. he is standing in front of his factory’s autocrafting setup, leaning down with his butt poked out, looking back at the camera. a chat message from scar is on it that says “Look at how nice Tango’s Butt is”. /end ID]

I feel like not enough people are discussing the Choices that this thumbnail is btw. so you know. just putting it out for the world to see,

#hermitcraft #tango tek #like. I have been boggling at this all day #both the insane factory and the very specific Choices made here.

[pherredraws]

better call ice king or whatever the fuck

#adventure time #fionna and cake #petrigrof #simon petrikov #betty grof #i have a singular braincell and it is dedicated to making everything about bcs all of the time #what if love wasn’t enough!!!! what if you made your choices! #what if you didn’t have any regrets what if you had the time of your life with him!!!! #what if there was a man who is jokes and then you look at him and realise he is so so so sad

[delicourse]

mop finale....

#mob psycho 100 #kageyama shigeo #kageyama ritsu #reigen arataka #hanazawa teruki #suzuki shou #serizawa katsuya #mp100 #deliart #WHATSSS UP WITTHHH TERUS HAIIRRR LMAOOOO #anime team made a choice there for sure #also now that i know shou canonically keeps TWO hamsters i will also have to assume they are dwarf hamsters of some kind. SAD #golden hamster enjoyers are opressed tbh tbh so i can no more draw my own former hamsters as his anymore #i drew my dads hampsters instead. because yes. we all are hampster enjoyers #u wouldnt get it

[wombywoo]

road trip 🏍️

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #john marston #arthur morgan #my art #marston is just explaining to arthur how he forgot the ham sandwiches hosea made for their trip on the kitchen counter #they have no choice but to starve now 😔 #anyway I'm back on my cowboy bs

[yourhighness6]

Me, screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE MAI I JUST FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDED MORE DEVELOPMENT OUTSIDE OF ZUKO AND HER ARC SHOULDN'T REVOLVE AROUND HER LOVE INTEREST

Also me, still screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE AANG I JUST QUESTION WHETHER HIS ROMANTIC INTEREST IN KATARA BRINGS OUT THE BEST SIDES OF HIM AND FEEL AS THOUGH HE AND HIS DEVELOPMENT IS NOT ABOVE NECESSARY CRITICISM

#why do antis think I hate either of them the moment I question their development and the writing choices bryke made for them #they're good characters I just want them to live up to their full potential #a lot of their actions in season 3 especially revolving around romance were counter intuitive to their arcs made them come off as jerks #it got to the point of character assassination istg #anti maiko #anti kataang #mai #aang #criticism is not hate #aang critical #anti bryke #this doesn't have anything to do with zutara but tagging for exposure #zutara

[canisalbus]

gothic lolita machete came to me in a dream

.

#HHWAH #but he unironically kind of makes it work though?? #I never realized that the leap from what he normally wears to gothic lolita would be this small #basically the same thing just a lot more lace and frills and embroidery #loving! the pomegranates! #it always makes me ecstatic when people find a way to include them or his other... symbols? motifs? objects of significance? #it's nice you kept the red gloves and red heels #the little crosses on the capelet and the stockings too hah #and the massive bow where the fascia would go #I support genderfuckery Machete by the way #his design and mannerisms have always been somewhat androgynous or at least that's what I've been trying to aim for #despite his sharp angular form he's supposed to have an aura of elegance and delicateness #at least on his better days when he's not in full rat man mode #given the choice he'd rather be called beautiful than handsome I'm pretty sure #folks have been mistaking him for a goth lesbian a whole lot lately so I can't be too far off #thank you this made me grin like an idiot when I opened the inbox #gift art #aggiepython #own characters #Machete

[egophiliac]

this chapter has been so absolutely nuts that I actually low-key forgot that I had a couple of new UM posters to do! wild! anyway, I gotta think about Lilia's some more, so here is my beautiful electric crocodile son in the meantime. god I hope this reads properly

(I went with Volt to go with his name, but there's a Bolt version too in the print-size folder!)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #unique magic posters #sebek: i have no choice...i'm going to have to use my special secret technique... #sebek: (furiously shuffling his socks on the shag carpeting) JUPITER THUNDERCLAP ZAP #i love him so much #it turns out i had missed a couple of scenes in his hexagon map so i went back and made sure to hit everything #and i am SO glad i did #i almost missed the spoon scene! I ALMOST MISSED THE SPOON SCENE #every single bit with little sebek and silver is just such a delight #in fact every single bit with big sebek and silver is pretty delightful too #sebek going 'silver if you don't come out RIGHT NOW i'm going to tell everyone your embarrassing fishing story!' is a personal favorite #tell us the story sebek. TELL US

[dreemurr-skelememer]

it falls down again moments after

#its such a weird design choice that i made but hey at least i have lore reasons for it #undertale #sans #dream sans #multiversal guardian au #undertale au #utmv #kia doodles shit