#choose kindness | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

should-be-sleeping · 7 months

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Tough day today... and friendly reminder that being human is easier when we help each other.

I saw one of our neighbors, an older woman we sometimes talk to in passing, sitting outside of her house. I don't know what exactly made me look twice, but on second glance as we drove by I realized her walker was in the grass. She was otherwise just sitting there, like she had a thousand times before, so it would have been easy to assume she was fine and go on with my life as normal but something told me to go check in on her anyway.

She was not fine. She was the polar opposite of fine. Just diagnosed with terminal cancer not fine. No next of kin not fine. A veteran facing eviction from her house for missing rent while in the hospital not fine. In constant debilitating pain not fine. Only semi-lucid not fine. She was extremely alone not fine.

I thought, at most, she might be bored while unable to pick up her walker not fine. A five minute detour from my day not fine. A help her back into her house and say "see you later!" not fine. Instead I spent the last three hours with her because she was so scared and alone and no one should be alone.

We talked a lot while I was there. She's actually two years younger than my mom (who also has cancer but slightly better luck, I guess). I helped her into her house and got her a drink and we talked about what all is going on with her. None of it was good. I was as reassuring as I could be, but there's only so much of this I can actually help her with.

"Why did you come?" she asked through tears.

"Because you looked like you might need some help."

She called me an angel. I told her I was just doing my best. I told her that kindness should never be rare. That we should all try to make the world just a little bit better than it was.

She offered to pay me but I told her I was just there as a friend. Before today we were basically strangers. No need to repay me with anything other than her company, I assured her. She cried, a lot. I managed not to somehow. Something tells me she had needed to cry long before this but in being Strong she never had the chance to.

She needed to get her mail, which is a long walk when you're disabled because it is not at all handicap accessible (across a parking lot, over a bridge, across a small field). So I helped her get her mail. We stopped every three feet because her pain was so bad, but she was determined to be able to go do this with me and not just send me on an errand. I patiently stayed with her and reminded her, through her apologies, it was fine to take our time: there was a nice breeze and birds were singing. She appreciated this. She loves nature.

Halfway back she said she wanted to go to the pool. To put her feet in the water. She loves water, and has not been able to even see the pool in a month. Neither of us were dressed for swimming, but I took her to the pool anyway. There is a stair leading down to it, meaning she couldn't bring her walker, so I offered her my arm.

We went to the pool. She put her feet in the water and then, with more energy and enthusiasm than I'd seen the whole time, she jumped in. In her fancy dress! She was instantly ten years younger at least, clear and happy, floating in the sun. Dress and all. She grew up with a pool and had been on a swim team.

I sat by the edge of the pool while she swam, keeping her company and also making sure she was okay. When she got tired I took her back home and then had to help her get undressed and redressed. I made sure she felt no shame. Getting out of wet clothes is hard for anyone, let alone someone with like twenty pounds of tumors racking them with constant pain.

She was so fucking happy to have gone swimming.

She is trying to "make everything right" before she goes. Trying to repay her debt to society and her debts in general. She couldn't understand why the corporation that owns our houses wouldn't take her money. She was genuinely distressed -- not to be homeless on her deathbed but to not leave this world with a clean slate. I told her intent matters. She can only do her best.

This company not letting her repay her debt was their fault, not hers.

When I finally needed to go, I told her to let me know any time she needed a hand or just wanted company. She told me she was going to die tonight. I told her I hoped not, so I could see her tomorrow. I offered her a hug, we hugged and she sobbed for a solid ten minutes into my shoulder. I told her she was okay. That it was okay.

When I got home I cried myself, because I could not believe she was going through all of that alone. I cannot even imagine how isolated she must have felt. Once I pulled myself back together I sent her a text reminding her to reach out any time and I'd do my best to come over. Like, any time at all.

I hope she is here tomorrow.

#choose kindness #existing helps #if we exist together #life #read more

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storyofmychoices · 2 months

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Sticks & Stones...

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Little kids learn it to counteract mean words said at playtime. It seems logical, physical harm should hurt more than words, but I think we all know from experience, that's just not true.

I didn't want to address this. I learned years ago in this fandom that if you address drama or anons it never ends well. However, I feel like this has to be said not necessarily for me, but maybe for younger me who wasn't as strong.

I received an anon that told me to kill myself because they didn't like a fic I wrote (I guess). I deleted the message because it's not worth my time. But those words are so hurtful. I thought back to younger me. Middle school me. High school me. Even early college me... I don't think that version of me would be strong enough to delete that message.

That version of me would hold onto it, perseverate on it, and those words would swirl in my mind and the anxiety and depression would tell me that's what people think. That's what you should do. I know logically that's stupid and it's an anon, delete and move on. But mentally, I wasn't strong enough...

I know that version of me is not alone. I know there are people in this fandom who struggle daily with their mental health. I know how hard it is for them. I can't imagine one of them getting a message like that.

Using language that promotes harm, like telling someone to "kill yourself," is harmful in so many ways. Whether you actually mean it and think that person should die, or you think it's just a phrase you say when you're angry, bored, or wanting to start drama, it's not okay. I'd love to say choose kindness and don't send any hate but I know that's not the world we live in.

However phrases like "kill yourself" are beyond the line. You cannot predict the mental state of the person you're sending it to. How would you actually feel if that person went through with it? What if their death is on your hands? Would you be okay with that? Would you be okay if the police came to your door and said you led to that person's death? (Don't think that happens? It does, the state police and FBI do investigate digital threats. I know because I work with kids who make and receive threats and have had to deal with the FBI investigating them... and anon doesn't matter the FBI will track the IP address). I don't want that for anyone here. So please, choose your words wisely.

If you are in a bad place and lashing out is all you have, come talk to me or someone else in this fandom. I know that it is hurt people that hurt other people. I know if you are sending words like that you've been hurt. Let's break the cycle together!

This post is not targeted toward any one person. Yes, it was motivated by the anon I got, but I really hope that anyone who has ever used that phrase might read this and take it to heart.

Please choose kindness or nothing at all. Our fandom is small enough. I don't want to see other people leave because they feel pushed out or leave because they did something they can't take back.

Oh, and to anyone who has received harmful words like that. You are not alone. You can come to me or others to talk. Please don't believe those words. You are stronger and better than that!

I'm not sure how to end this so, here is a cute picture:

#dani rambles #choose kindness #anon hate #spreadkindness #choose your words #spread kindness

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gqandw · 7 months

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#gqandw #quotes #qotd #be kind #choose kindness

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atths--twice · 1 month

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your fic is very unrealistic

Yikes. That wasn’t very kind at all. You could very easily have said nothing, but instead you chose to be rude. Hmm.

Thankfully, your anonymous opinion means absolutely nothing to me. ✌🏼

#choose kindness #don’t be rude #keep scrolling next time

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bebepac · 6 months

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Choose kindness. You never know what someone is going through.

#bebepac talks #not fanfic #choose kindness #be kind #suicide awareness #chesliekryst

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tavyliasin · 16 days

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Navigating Fandom Online

Good timezone, darlings, we are out here again with another little fandom essay around what to expect online and how to curate your experiences in each of those spaces. Whilst I realise it may seem like this is could relate to a number of recent events, it is more that there even are recent events that spur me to thinking on this one, not aiming at any conversation, person, or situation at all.

Curating Your Online Fandom Experience - A Guide/Essay by TavyliaSin (And how to keep each other safe in fandom spaces) ((As well as what to do if we don't feel safe)) (((Also a little around what to expect in each space)))

So the following will be broken down by chapter headings and may discuss, in very vague terms, some heavier topics. So consider this a CW for fandom drama, discussion of what is in CWs and why, and generally an overview of things that many might find difficult to discuss~

What are Online Fandom Spaces and How Are They Different?

Tumblr is just one open online fandom website that many of us use to share and find content and connections with fellow fans. It's far from the only site/app though, and each has a different userbase, different rules, and often a different "vibe" to the space.

We all have limited time and energy, so really we need to choose which spaces are right for us to spend both of those on.

Because each space is unique with the userbase, rules, and tools we can use within them, I'm going to split the conversation by site rather than by topic from here. That might mean some things are repeated, but also makes it easier to see which relates to what site.

In general, our aims in these spaces should be to learn how to find the content we want to see more of, how to keep ourselves safe from potentially triggering content that we don't want to see, how to connect with people who will enhance our lives and experience, and how to handle content we don't want to see without exacerbating the issues or causing more problems along the way.

Tumblr

Let's start right here where we are! Now I'm going to be entirely honest, I still have little idea what I'm doing here, I'm making it up as I go along, but Tumblr is an important fandom space. Fans from certain countries may find Tumblr is one of the few options not blocked when places like Twitter and AO3 are not accessible from where they live. We have a wide userbase and a whole lot of content, so let's get started.

Curating Your Own Works and CWs on Tumblr Tumblr has the fun little "Keep Reading" marker which means you can put your CWs in the top part of the post and indicate that the content will be below the "keep reading" line. You can also use this with others' posts to know if the topic is one you want to read or not. If it isn't? You can scroll on by without seeing the potentially distressing content! For image and video posts there are also the options to mark the content as NSFW in nature too, which will keep it from your feeds.

You have the choice for all NSFW content to be shown, or for it to be blurred with a warning. This will also help you to curate what you see - if you're fine with NSFW content being out in the open you can leave it revealed, or you can keep the blurring and warning tags enabled to choose what you wish to see, or if you don't want to see any of it you can simply have them all hidden from your feeds.

Safety And Connecting With Other Fans The Ask Box can be a fun way to connect, especially with other creatives! Anonymously suggesting a creative idea can be more comfortable for people who aren't as confident having their identity linked to certain content, and opens up for writers and artists (and other creatives) to receive interesting prompts and inspiration for their works. Unfortunately, however, it can also be used in less kind ways. If you find your ask box is being sent anything unpleasant then unfortunately the options boil down to either ignoring/deleting anything unpleasant or turning it off completely in your options. Nobody should have to do the latter, but unfortunately there are times it may be necessary. Connecting to people whose content you like does seem to be a different world here compared to other sites. You can follow blogs you enjoy, and get alerts for their new content, but there's less of a culture of commenting here. I've personally found that directly commenting is a nicer and easier way to get to know the creators you want to talk to, and may lead to DMs or connecting on other socials off-site where you talk more. I adore that, so I certainly shan't be stopping any time soon, though if anyone does feel uncomfortable with comments on their works please do tell me. More often however we use reblogs and the tags on those are how we keep the conversation going, and we may find ourselves sharing similar circles that way.

Avoiding People And Content You Don't Like Tumblr allows a variety of content which is great for creatives to share what they're making, although this does mean there will be users who you don't get along with and content you don't want to see.

Tag Filters can also keep content off your feed. So, for example, if you don't want to see anything with a specific character or pairing you can put those tags into the filter and it'll keep them out. Similarly with content tags, and as long as people are properly tagging works like they should you can choose exactly what you do and don't want to see with the systems already in place! You can block individual blogs and users, hide them so they don't appear on your feed, but unfortunately there is always the chance that people can easily make new accounts and find their way back to your works. You can also report posts that break the terms of service of the website, but please only use this function for this purpose. Reporting things you personally dislike isn't helpful either to the user or to the system. If someone's works aren't to your taste, blocking them is the easiest way to keep it out of your eyeline. That's your way to say "I do not consent to seeing this" whilst leaving the content there for others who do wish to see it. Other Considerations for Tumblr Honestly I would love other peoples' input on this one. I'm not an expert on this one.

Archive Of Our Own (AO3)

AO3 is one of the widest and most open fandom spaces. It's like a library, and everything is well organised into the proper sections. That also means that there will be works on there that contain content you may be less comfortable with reading, so it's important both to tag your own works and to look at the tags on others' works to know what you want to read or not. For more on content warnings and how to use them, click here for that essay because it is a long topic of its own.

What Should/Shouldn't Be On The Site? Those who know me well here know that although I have a fair little list of characters and topics I will not read or write, I also fully support everyone else's rights to do so if they wish. That's the standard on AO3 too. There are few topics that are fully banned, and the system allows for tagging and filtering of works based on those tags. Aside from the general age ratings that set a tone for the work there are the archive warning tags.

These Archive labels are an explicit indicator of the kind of content in a piece that allow readers to make a decision of informed consent on whether they wish to read. Anything tagged with a specific warning, or with the "chose not to warn" tells a reader that there is content that may be triggering or unwanted. It gives them the choice to read or to find another piece. Nobody is being forced to read heavy topics just by virtue of them existing, and as I mention in the above-linked essay post around CWs, fiction can be a very valid and powerful way for people to process their own traumas in a safe and controlled environment. There are very few things that are fully forbidden from the site, just like how in a library you will find there are books with different content types. The point is not to ban the ones you do not want to read, but to select the ones from the shelves that you do want to read, and to learn how to use the tags like the labels on library books (or the information on the cover) to tell you what you might want to read. It's not like a book shop where the owner is choosing only what they want to sell, or your own personal book shelf where you only keep the books you like. It's a communal space for everyone to share and read their works. You can customise how things appear in your feed too, the Preferences can give you those options to filter what you want to see or not see as you browse the site.

AO3 Community Engagement Commenting and leaving kudos on AO3 is a wonderful way to support writers you like. If you don't like a work at all, I also recommend just leaving without bringing the writer down - unwanted critique doesn't tend to help anyone improve, but it can make them (or even other readers) want to stop writing which would be a terrible shame. If someone asks for critique specifically then of course that is fine, but you should also try to find the things you like within the work as well to show the writer what to do more of and what strengths they can rely on. The best thing for a writer to read from their works on AO3 are comments that specifically pick out favourite lines and say what they like about them. It's a little harder to directly chat, but if there are contact details in peoples' bios you can form more social connections this way, or simply subscribe to your favourite authors to see more of their works and get notified with new releases.

Safety and Security You can block or mute specific users if you find their works are not to your tastes or if they have been unkind in their interactions with your works, or for any reason you wish. These options are on every user's profile on the top right beneath their name.

You can easily stop seeing the works from anyone at any time without having to do anything further. If they have broken the site rules, of course, that is something to raise with the website's moderation teams and allow them to handle it accordingly, but to be very clear here: It is not ok to send people negative comments because you disagree with them or the topics they write about. We should all be free to create what we want to create as long as it is within the law (and particularly this applies to not sharing NSFW content to those who are not old enough to engage with it) as long as all of our works are appropriately tagged.

You can also control who can see and engage with your works - I personally prefer comment moderation, even though there has never been a single comment I have rejected. You can also turn off guest comments, or only let registered user view your works in the first place. This gives you the option to block people as and when you need to, whilst still allowing engagement. This can be changed on every single work you have and edited at any time. Whilst it might discourage or reduce some engagement, it can give you confidence that negative comments can't pile up whilst you're not looking at your account and remain visible. It's also security for those of us who prefer not to link our government names to our adult content creation, so we know nobody is revealing anything we don't want known to our wider audience.

Twitter/X

I'm going to call it Twitter because that's how most of us still know it and refer to it, as well as other language like Tweet, RT, QRT as needed. (X is a terrible name for a platform and we all know it).

Fandom On Twitter In general this is one of the widest nets of fandom from what I can see. It's also the least moderated space on the internet, and with limited space in tweets it is a lot more common for things to be taken out of context. The spoiler tagging only works on images, so that's also more difficult to curate the content you share yourself. Twitter in general tends to have more of an aggressive culture to it, anonymity and ease of making new accounts leaving it very open to people getting away with saying whatever they like regardless of who it impacts.

Curating Your Twitter Feed This one is largely going to come down to who you follow. Check the bio of users you're thinking about following, and maybe scan a few of their posts, replies, and likes to get an idea of the kind of content they engage with and are likely to share. You can also mute and/or block individual users. This can help to narrow down what you see on your feed, however do be aware you're more likely to see negative content and "fandom drama" go down on Twitter. It's very instant and has a vibe of calling things out immediately, potentially due to the short form of content people aren't spending long thinking about what they want to say or how they want to say it.

Keeping Yourself Safe This one is going to be utilising the mute and block features as needed, but you can also choose to only allow people you follow to respond to your tweets. This is a good way to keep your Twitter experience just to friends and others you share values with, reducing the chance of arguments and issues. However, it is also good to know when to step back, disengage, and stop interacting with content or people who are distressing you.

Keeping Others Safe Having a "minors DNI" rule is a good plan for most (meaning you are openly stating that those under 18 years old "do not interact" with your posts and content as it is more likely to be unsuitable even if you can't easily mark it as adult only content). It is also good to remember that those arguing on Twitter are less likely to listen and change their minds on an issue, so if someone is being unfairly upset by the words and actions of others it is often better to support that person rather than to engage with anyone speaking against them.

Discord

This can be one of your most easy to curate and customise for your social groups, though that means it's harder to connect to newer people and find larger spaces and reach for content. But it's still worth looking at how you choose and interact with spaces.

Joining a New Server Get to know the rules and the people who run the space. Discord servers can all be very different in how they are laid out and the rules they have for their communities. Some might have bans on certain kinds of content like characters or pairings, others may be open to all kinds of content but have it separated into different sections and areas so people know when/where they are engaging with different things. If you feel that the rules or leadership don't match your values, you can leave at any time and don't need to let anyone know unless you wish to keep contacts outside of the server. Many servers are invite only, or will advertise in a limited way through other sites like Twitter and Tumblr (I certainly advertise my own on both, for those who might want to join), but some might also be listed on a site called Disboard which can be a good way to find active fan community servers. I'm actually in some servers that ban certain content, and other servers that explicitly allow that same content. I appreciate both types of space, and knowing what to expect when I visit each of them. Having places that ban certain topics outright is great as a comfortable place for people who don't like it, but equally having places that allow it is also great so the people who do enjoy it can safely indulge without judgement. There are many reasons why people do/don't like content, and I don't believe anyone has to justify that unless they explicitly want to.

Spoiler Tagging and CWs on Discord Spoiler tags are very easy to use on Discord, it's one of the best systems as you can spoiler images as well as part or all of the text that you wish to hide. You can then ensure your comment tells people what to expect underneath the spoiler cover. This shows roughly how it works for text.

I would always advise to tell people what is under the spoiler tag, so people know what they're revealing. That way everyone can interact confidently knowing they're not going to uncover content they're uncomfortable with.

Blocking, Banning, and Moderation Discord's blocking is pretty simple - block a user and they can still see your posts but they will not be able to leave reactions on them, and you won't see anything they post. If you're a Moderator or Admin of a server and you ban a user, they will not be able to return on another account unless they're using a VPN as it uses an IP ban. For safeguarding, it can also be helpful to share information with other fandom space moderators if there is a genuinely harmful person in the community. Several Discord servers do this already as far as I know, sharing the full user ID number of people who are not safe to be in the community so they can be prevented from entering.

How To Choose Your Social Spaces

Looking at the options there, each space is set up very differently. The open spaces like Twitter and Tumblr and AO3 are going to take some more care to know when is best to not engage with content you don't like or disagree with, and to know that any post or opinion can risk going viral at any time. Discord is going to have the more closed and specialised communities that will likely have a closer match to personal values and social circles.

Whichever place you're in, it's a good idea to be aware of what kinds of content you're likely to encounter and what to expect with interactions.

If a site or fandom space makes you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or otherwise unhappy, it is absolutely valid to avoid it. Even if others use it.

In the case of places like Twitter and Tumblr, you might not gain as much reach if you only shout into the void and don't interact with others, but if that's all you feel safe doing because scrolling through content is distressing that is all you need to do. Beyond the terms of service there aren't really rules governing how you use any particular platform. Different spaces have different levels of moderation, so it really is up to us at the end of the day which ones we use to ensure we are looking out for our own safety.

What Should We Do If Something or Someone Isn't Safe?

This is the last big one to look at again. If someone is breaking the rules of a platform, report it to the appropriate places. If someone is suffering because of the content they have seen or the things that have been said to them, put your energy into looking after them rather than going after whoever you feel has wronged them. Revenge doesn't heal anyone, it just spreads more pain elsewhere and makes people more likely to retaliate or worsens the whole situation.

When we fight fire with fire we risk turning everything to ashes. Instead, calming a situation and letting the drama die down is what allows the people who have been hurt to heal rather than raking over the hot coals again and again.

The final point is when it has crossed legal lines, if there is an issue with safeguarding minors or any other law-breaking activity, that's when we need to go further than site/platform moderation and look to the legal options to protect our fandom spaces and the people involved.

You always have a choice what content to look at, what spaces to use, and what kinds of energy you are bringing in to those spaces. Kindness can often spur on more kindness, whereas confrontation mostly just leads to more confrontation. Of course there are times and places where confrontation is necessary, but we should also pick our battles wisely and prioritise caring for those who have been harmed first.

Until next time darlings~ sorry if this one was a long ramble, I've been on and off it all day to try and ensure my thoughts are at least a little organised. Here's hoping all of our experiences with the community can be positive and match the values we want to see within ourselves and each other~

#fandom #fandom essay #fandom community #curating your fandom experience #how to make the most of fandom spaces #twitter #discord #tumblr #ao3 #archive of our own #choose kindness

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sarahowritesostucky · 1 month

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Tips for coping with depression

As someone who struggles deeply with depression, I thought I'd post these very simple but very crucial tips for overcoming a low time

FIRST AND FOREMOST, IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY ENOUGH THAT IT'S AFFECTING THE WAY YOU ENJOY LIFE, YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO SEEK OUT THERAPY AND POSSIBLY MEDICATION. My depression doesn't usually manifest as sadness. It manifests as exhaustion, lack of drive, and tanking self-care. So it took me a long time to realize that it "counted" as depression. If you don't have insurance, look up a therapist who is willing to do a payment plan and to see you only a couple times a year, maybe just via tele appointment. They might be able to prescribe you medications if that's what you need. I was VERY hesitant to start meds, but I tried low doses of two meds and they rapidly turned my life around.

But in addition, here are my personal recommendations:

BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Always do this first. I don't know what the heck it is about depression that makes brushing your teeth so damn hard, but it's a thing, and you'll feel better if you do this first.

START WITH A SHOWER. Once you finally manage to force yourself out of bed, please for all that is holy, just get a shower. I prefer baths, but I've heard from others that the shower part is crucial to them. Get a shower and stay in there as long as you friggin' want or can. Get some tingly mint shampoo. Get a tingly face wash. That shit is invigorating. I actually keep my toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower and brush at the end of my bath (whatever I'm depressed and weird)

GO OUTSIDE. Even if it's just opening a window or standing on your apartment's balcony for a bit. Go outside and see the earth. Go for a walk.

GET SUNLIT. get assessed for vitamin D--you probably need supplements. Purchas an indoor SAD sun lamp; you can get them pretty cheap on Amazon and just 30 mins a day with that thing makes a difference!

SUPPLEMENTS. Important and useful ones I like are Vitamin D, Ashwaganda, CBD oil, Kratom (approach with care if you have addiction issues). And take a friggin' multivitamin--you're a grownup.

ALWAYS DO SOMETHING KIND FOR YOURSELF. do something small, simple, and kind for yourself, for no reason other than it's a simple pleasure. Eat one of those tiny half cup portions of ice cream they have at the grocery store, put vetiver oil in your bath, get the overpriced drink at Starbucks you always tell yourslef you shouldn't waste money on, light a candle or get one of those misting waterfall thingies and plug it in. Watch some cat videos, do a coloring book, bake a batch of muffins. Whatever feels nice to you.

LISTEN TO HAPPY MUSIC. I'm a big fan of angsty, dark rock and alternative music, but I force myself to avoid it when I'm having a hard time mentally. Instead I listen to upbeat gym music or pop, music that sound how I wish I felt.

CLEAN YOUR SPACE. If you're my kind of mentally ill, your living space sometimes can get pretty bad. There can be are piles. Put on some of the aforementioned music and get going, one item at a time, you can always take a break or stop whenever you want.

GO TO THE GYM. People who've never really worked out don't seem to believe us gym rats, but it's true: regular exercise can help almost as much as (or more than) antidepressants!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT WELL. I used to be a diet soda addict, okay? But water is what our bodies thrive on, and you'll be amazed at how much more awake a simple chug of water can make you feel.

CALL A HELPLINE. If you need to talk, call a helpline. It's so easy. You don't have to be in crisis mode or at the end of your rope to call, and unless you're on the phone actively threatening immediate harm to yourself, they aren't going to do anything but give you a kind ear. I volunteer at one of these helplines, which strangely also really helps with depression.

BE KIND! To yourself and others. It's free to do and worth its weight in gold to the people on the receiving end. As Ru Paul likes to say: "Kindness is the highest form of intellect."

#depression #mental health #be kind #choose kindness #choose happiness #helping hand #seasonal affective disorder #seasonal depressive disorder

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