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#chris hemsworth fanfic
kyber4crystal · 2 years
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Nectar of the Gods (Chris Hemsworth x Wife! Reader)
Category: Smut
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Words: 1.9k
Warnings: established relationship, p in v penetration, handjob, fingering, I think that’s it
The cool breeze made the curtain give a slight, graceful dance. The morning light was welcoming yet neither of you wanted to get up. You've been in that room one entire night and yet still, you'd rather stay there, a haven created by a long night of passion and love than move to the outside world.
“You know, you're why I smile lately.” you run a hand along the side of his face, grazing his cheek lightly with your fingertips.
“Yeah?” His smile, big and full of life, brought a small laugh from you. This man meant everything to you. He brings so much light into your life that it's almost impossible to not forget the problems that await you outside.
“Yeah, everything was jumbled after I finished filming, and this last movie was such a roller coaster but you stayed there, firm as a rock.” his eyes trained on your own, admiring every aspect of you through your eyes. Sometimes you wondered if he could see the good and the bad through you. It amazed you how much he loved you, so unconditionally it was scary sometimes.
“I'm glad that I can be there for you, you know I’ll always be there for you. You're my person Y/N and I won't let anything bad happen to you. I love you too much to lose you.” his voice was soft while he spoke, his love was shown in so many ways, in how he held you, how he looked at you, how he was around you, how he just loved you.
In general, you were both smitten. It wasn't much of a surprise to anyone that saw you, just how in love you both were, how much two people could share in their lives. You both were lucky to have found each other, not everyone finds something this special, this precious. This hotel room became your little sanctuary for your time being and it was the most magical feeling ever.
There was this sense of wholeness within you that you couldn't ignore. You kiss his neck and trail your kisses up to his jaw. His smile is so wide and happy. You've never loved someone as much as you've loved him, the pure joy you get by seeing him be so happy in such a sweet moment was the reason you had this time away. He was such an excellent partner and such a fantastic father that you couldn't replace him with anything or anyone.
"I love you," he kissed your lips, "I love you so much it drives me insane sometimes." He kissed your jaw. His hands roamed your hips and your head resting in his arms, listening to his words, this was your peace.
The hand placed on your hip kept moving down to your thighs, gently kneading the flesh that resided there. His lips left kisses on your neck and collarbone while you traced lines on his chest. He placed his wandering hand over you and ran two fingers up your folds, massaging the bundle of nerves that resided in that area. He separated your lips, digging his finger slightly in while the other went up and down your clit. His lips trailed up to your ear, nibbling your lobe while he savored the sweet sounds that escaped your mouth.
"How can you work me up this fast?" Your question made him hum, slightly slowing down like if he was thinking his next words.
"I don't know love, but from how wet you are I'd say I'm doing something really good." He left you breathless, the stroke he had on you turned into two digits and his thumb took his place on your clit.
"And from how hard you are I'd say you're getting off on how much I'm trying not to move." He chuckled at your words. You placed your hand on his cock, slightly stroking him, placing your finger over his tip which made him shudder. His forehead rested next to yours, both your breaths mingled with the other.
His thumb stroked a little faster while the two digits inside you were joined in by a third. His other hand, that rested beneath your head, came up to caress your hair, his gentle kisses accompanied his fingers threading through your hair. Your hand almost gave out from stroking him. "Baby you can stop, I just want to pleasure you. I don't have to cum." Goosebumps sprinkled through his body, you made it impossible for him to not be in love with you.
You nodded yet stroked him faster. He inhaled deeply, your scent filling his nose giving him a jolt of electricity, he couldn't get enough of you. His pace quickened sometimes and when you flicked your thumb over his slit, his hand slightly trembled inside of you. His groans were right next your ear, he peppered kisses on the side of your head, sometimes trailing down to below your jaw. Truly, you made the perfect choice to come to Italy and get a breather. Lazy sex was something that you always found useless until you met your husband, he made you change your mind faster than anyone before.
“I really love those sounds you make, the god of thunder completely at my mercy,” a giggle ripped out of you at what you refrensed, you tighten your grip whenever you reached the base, slowly going back up and repeating the action.
“And an empress at mine,” he nuzzled his face next to your neck, grazing his lips and teeth there, leaving a small mark at your collarbone, “you truly are music to my ears.” He gave a particular thrust into you, curling his fingers at just the right spot, and almost made you cum.
“Chris, don’t stop,” your moan was loud, a delicious addition to the squelch that your juices and his own were making, “fuck, how have you always been so good at this?”
“Blame it on the amount of times I’ve roamed my hands on you. You truly are a greedy little thing sometimes,” he spoke breathlessly, his thumb on your clit was relentless, he had you shaking, sometimes losing the rhythm you had on his dick.
“It’s not my fault your the one that always starts and insists on making me cum more than you,” you could barely speak, moans escaping in between your sentence, he was unbelievably good at making you reach your peak, thank god he wasn’t on a teasing mood.
“Oh god,” he kept on hitting your g-spot, continuously making a mess of you, he kissed your neck and under your jaw, loving the sounds that came out of you, “oh shit,” he never stopped, he trailed his kisses to your breasts, nibbling on a nipple that was closest to him.
“Cum my love,” he says it in between marking you and kissing you, “cum for me,” your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, he kept the fingers inside of you prolonging your bliss, you were in a daze, a lazy smile on you. He kissed your cheek, your nose, your forehead, whispering sweet nothings into your ears, and lastly kissed you on your lips, “l love you so much, you did amazing my love, you did so good.”
“I need you Chris, please,” he smiled and chuckled, even after years of being together your sex drive was still so insanely high.
“Are you sure?” His asking was genuine, you’d been at it for a while and he wouldn’t have you get hurt because of him.
You nodded, running your hand through his sides, knowing he loved when you trailed them a certain way.
“Okay, just tell me if you need a break,” he positioned himself in between your legs, placing your thighs on top of his own, he reached down and held you around your waist with one arm while his other was occupied caressing your face.
“I will, baby, don’t worry,” he kissed you, he loved kissing you, how your lips molded to his, how your tongue would wrestle with is own, how he could make you moan if he did that specific twirl with his tongue, he loved to pleasure you, as much as he loved getting to cum inside you.
He slowly thrust in, letting you get comfortable again with the stretch. You feel every ridge of him, you felt how your walls fluttered around him. He let out a guttural moan at how tight you still were, wrapping around him so perfectly.
“Fuck,” halfway in he stopped moving, if he did move he would lose control and that would hurt you, your already sensitive walls pulled him in more, but your gasps and sounds gave out that clearly you needed time, “baby, your not comfortable, I’m hurting aren’t I?”
“No, your not, I’m okay, just take it slow,” you pulled him down to kiss him and rolled your hips to feel more of him, the stretch of him was so painfully pleasurable that you needed more. You took what he gave you and what he hesitated in giving you you coaxed out of him.
He set a slow rhythm, working you both up to get accustomed to the feeling. An entire night of passion could do wonders, the reason for the morning soreness you were now feeling but you needed him.
Low groans and moans bounced off the walls of the hotel room along with the sound of your juices mixing together. His pelvis hitting your clit. He would pull out almost completely and slowly go back in, angling toward your g-spot, already knowing by memory where it was. His lips trailed below your jaw, his free hand would play with a nipple, fiddling with it in between his fingers.
All he wanted was for you cum, you had worked him up earlier enough for him to orgasm the second he entered you yet his pleasure was seeing you pleasured so he took you to the ledge. He picked up his pace, his thrusts stronger, he lowered his hand toward your clit, flicking it and rubbing the amount he knew would make you cum. Your walls tightened around him, your moans became louder, you were close.
“Oh god, harder,” and he did, he went faster, his thumb on your clit pressed down a little more, he whispered in your ear how much of a good girl you are and how good you were doing for him. That sent you over the edge. That orgasm hit you hard, he kept thrusting in you making it last longer.
“Holy shit,” he came, hard. His cum coated your walls, some spilling out from in between you, you both couldn’t stop smiling, he coaxed every tremble from you, his hips still slowly moving, “I love you,” you smiled up at him, tired out of your mind, you whispered it back. The action brought a grin to him, that smile somehow became bigger, he bent down to kiss you once more, a sweet kiss to distract you from the sting of him leaving your entrance.
“I’ll go get something to clean us up,” he signaled towards the bathroom.
“Okay,” you set your legs down, as comfortably as you could, and placed the blanket over you. He came back with a wet hand towel, cleaning you up, being careful not to do it too hard, he was a titan of a man.
He placed it in a corner and snuggled in with you, wrapping you both with the blanket, an arm over your waist and the other under your head, he loved when you snuggled up to him, having you right next to him.
The morning was almost through and the both of you hadn’t left that hotel room. This vacation was a blast, you’d definitely would come after every film is done.
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Patiently, Patiently... - A Thor/Reader Smut Drabble.
Another 5k celebration request fulfillment, this time for my utter babe @innerpaperexpertcloud​​! 
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Warnings - Smut below the cut, minors DNI!
Words - 300
With your legs spread before him, each ankle bound by rope to the posts of his bed, you clutch at your breasts and groan wantonly as Thor kneels between them, sliding a single finger slowly, tortuously slowly, in fact, in and out of your heat.
“Please! I need more! Please, give me more!”
He cocks his head, smiling at your frustration. “I’ve told you, no whining, no demanding. You need to behave.”
You clench around that solitary digit, grasping at your tits, desperate for more friction. You can barely keep still, though, wriggling against his hand, being reprimanded by him backing off, making you quieten and lie stiller in order to receive your much desired gratification.  
Your obedience is rewarded, that finger crooking, stroking your walls, little sparks skittering through you at the firmer pressure. You purr for him contentedly, evoking his wide smile and his praise.
“That’s better. I like you when you’re obedient for me.”
He does not, however, make such easy.
Your soaking, silken walls flutter around him more when he adds his thumb to your clit, granting you the kind of clemency you’ve been yearning for, rubbing in tight circles, your pleasure soaring.
“Ohh, that’s it. Fuck!” you pant, glimmers escalating, your nerve endings sizzling with bliss as your body squirms, his ministrations speeding up. You are sated a little more by this, but still, it isn’t what you crave most. “Please, Thor. Fuck me. Just fuck me, damnit!”
“Ahh, I thought I said no demanding. Fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been good.”
“But...”
“For every instance of protesting, I add ten minutes onto the time you’ll wait before I grace you with my cock. Now, behave or wait. It is up to you.”
You’ve never shut up so fast in your damned life.  
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darknight3904 · 5 months
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𝕸𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
A Masterlist containing all my works :)
Click on each individual link to go to each story's respective master list.
𝐉𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧
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ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏ
ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ
ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ʟɪꜰᴇ
ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ
ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ
ꜱᴏ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ
𝕸𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖓...
𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕝 ℂ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕌𝕟𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕖
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ʟᴏᴋɪ ʟᴀᴜꜰᴇʏꜱᴏɴ
ᴛʜɪꜱ ʟᴏᴠᴇ - ɪɴ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇꜱꜱ
𝔗𝔥𝔢 ℌ𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔊𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰
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ᴄᴏʀɪᴏʟᴀɴᴜꜱ ꜱɴᴏᴡ
ɪᴛ ʙᴜʀɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ - ᴀ ꜱɪx ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛꜱ ᴏᴡɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
ʙʟᴀɴᴋ ꜱᴘᴀᴄᴇ
ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ
ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟꜱ
🅂🅃🅁🄰🄽🄶🄴🅁 🅃🄷🄸🄽🄶🅂
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ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ᴍᴜɴꜱᴏɴ
ꜱᴏʙᴇʀ (18+) - ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ
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topmalereaderblog · 6 months
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Miguel O'hara // Simon "Ghost" Riley// Oscar Isaac // Chris Evans // Chris Hemsworth // Mature Rant 🚨
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Small rant I just had the most vivid dream separately with each of these men like I just imagined them bouncing and riding my cock till I was begging and they were all wearing cock cages and there tiny dicks just flopped around while they rode me. They way each and every single one of these men moaned was so fucking hot. I'm so honry for them. I just want to make them stay at home, husband's and fuck them till they're pregnant with my kids. Coming home to them and worshipping them. The urge to mark them in any way with love bites covering them my cum deep inside them. Make them cum so much that they just piss all over themselves.
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perseephoneee · 2 months
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𝓞𝓯 𝓥𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓜𝓮𝓷
In which, you, a lady of the ton, are forced to participate in courting season. Except that courting season comes with one particularly silver tongued Prince who is making it his mission to drive you absolutely insane.
꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ bridgerton!loki au
content warnings: slow burn, regency era bs, eventual smut, mostly tension, maybe not entirely historically accurate bc i am rapidly researching everything
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꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ INDEX | playlist
prologue
chapter I
chapter II
chapter III
chapter IV
chapter V
chapter VI
chapter VII
chapter VIII
epilogue
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masterlist | let me ship you with your fav characters | 2023 ficmas | join my taglist
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happy74827 · 2 months
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All I Wanted Was You
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[Thor Odinson x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Thor had always been there to protect you, save you, and love you… Until he couldn't.
WC: 3540
Category: Heavy Angst, Some hurt/comfort, mentions of Loki, Hela, and Heimdall {TW warning: Thanos and “evil squidward” — I know his name but I think Tony’s nickname is too iconic}
So I recently rewatched Infinity War, and of course watching Thor cry over losing literally everyone else he cares for in the first 15 minutes of the movie sparked my writer heart {finally} and after listening to Paramore we have this hot mess of angst (also why are all my Thor fics so angsty when he’s the definition of fluff?? I live for the drama I guess)
And just for the record, we don’t talk about the fact that I have thousands of requests and this isn’t even one of them 💀😭
『••✎••』
They say fear lies in the unknown. In the absence of facts and knowledge, the mind creates a world of illusions. If you believe your own fears, they become reality.
So what happens when the thing you fear the most is taken from you? When everything else falls to nothing? When the world is turned upside down?
You're left with a feeling that can only be described as the deepest pain imaginable.
You're left with nothing but your fear.
Your heart was racing so fast, and your breaths were short. You could feel every single muscle in your body tense up as the unnamed alien man dragged you further and further into the unknown.
The trip back to Earth, back to your sanctuary of a home, was nothing but a blur. After everything that had gone down within Asgard, including Asgard's destruction, all you could think about was your lover. Your other half.
Thor.
He was in pain, and not just physically. You had been separated due to his secretive, power-hungry sister, to where he’d left you alone with his kind-hearted people to find his father, only to disappear and leave you alone with the slaughtering of the Asgardians.
The people you’ve met that very day ended up slaughtered by Hela. Some took you by the hand, guiding and shielding you for protection against the God of Death and her henchmen. Others, you could tell, were more than just scared; they were terrified. The ones that were too slow or the ones that decided to fight back were killed within an instant.
You were no warrior. You were a simple, plain human who somehow caught the eye of the mighty Thor Odinson, and for some reason, he was in love with you.
So, while everyone else fought against Hela and her henchmen, you ran. Thor had left you there in assurance of your safety, thinking the search for his father with Loki, of all people, would be too risky for you, but in reality, you would have rather been with him. At least then, if you were to die, you could have been in the arms of the one you love.
Miraculously, you had survived the fall of Asgard and the escape from Surtur. You had no clue how. Maybe you were just lucky, or perhaps it was the grace of the Allfather. Even Heimdall, the man who saw everything, didn’t see you making it out alive.
But, when Thor had found you in the throne room cornered by some henchmen, it became a fact that Heimdall couldn’t see everything; after all.
The moment your eyes had met, the moment you heard the sound of metal against flesh, the moment his strong, powerful, protective arms wrapped around your fragile, vulnerable, weak form, and the moment his lips kissed the top of your head, you were safe.
Safe.
The only time you felt genuinely safe was when you were with Thor. His mere presence made you feel at ease. Like nothing could ever touch you or hurt you because he wouldn't let it.
He would protect you no matter the cost. He’d die for you, give his life for you, and go to the depths of Hell and back for you. He loved you, and that was something you could never understand.
Why would such a mighty god, a king, and a warrior want to love a simple human like yourself? A clumsy one at that.
You weren’t special in any way. You were ordinary.
But Thor, he was extraordinary.
The God of Thunder, a king and a warrior, a prince and a protector.
He was everything you were not.
It wasn't just the physical things that made him great, too, but the things that were inside.
Thor was a good man. A caring man. One who always thought about others and not himself.
Thor had his moments, yes, but no one is perfect. Not even a god. But the thing that made you love him, that made you want him, and the thing that made you feel safe was his heart.
That was the only part of him you could understand. The way he cared. The way he loved. The way he could make anyone smile. The way he could bring light to anyone's dark.
That's what makes a man a man. And that's why you loved him.
Even now, with one eye, a missing hammer, and a lost kingdom, he was still your everything.
And now you were reunited after being separated again. The only problem was the circumstances.
You and Thor had been in an intimate moment. The relief of having you back in his arms, the adrenaline pumping through your veins from surviving such a tragedy, had you both desperate.
He had pinned you against the wall, his hands brushing your hair away from your face to get a better look at you before he pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss. He was always so gentle with you. The teasing and playful nips at your bottom lip were proof of that.
But the sudden sight of a ship out the large window you’d stared out of moments before the kiss broke your concentration.
Thor had pulled apart almost immediately, the feeling of his beard no longer tickling your face, but the heat of his breath and the sweet taste of his lips was still there.
It didn't take long before Thor was following your eyes, seeing for himself what had pulled you from him.
A sense of dread washed over you when you noticed how he tensed and his grip on your waist tightened. This wasn’t another Asgardian ship; no, this was something far more dangerous. You could tell by the look in Thor's eye, his non-missing eye.
Then, within seconds, he grabbed hold of your arm and yanked you out of the room. Your heart was pounding as you started yelling questions at him, trying to understand what was going on.
But, when he hit the button that sealed the room you were once in and shielded you within his arms, the panic started to set in.
That's when everything began to blur.
You remembered the sound of explosions. The tearing of metal. The screams. The smell of burning.
It all came crashing down.
Loki had come around the corner, and seeing his expression, it didn’t take much to realize what was going on.
If Loki, the God of Mischief and Lies, was terrified, then that meant something big was going down.
Thor was yelling orders, shouting commands. You could barely make out what he was saying, but you knew he was telling you to stay behind him.
Stay behind him.
Always stay behind him.
Then it changed to get the hell off the ship.
Then, to run.
Run.
Run.
Run.
The last thing you remember was looking back as you sprinted down the halls, seeing your love, your other half, the king, the prince, the protector, your Thor, fighting some creature with his bare hands.
His face was so determined. He wasn’t going down without a fight. You ran to where he had told you to go, the escape pods where Val was helping others into. You got there and saw her eyes. They were wide and full of worry.
Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.
The sound of an explosion brought you back to the present.
Val grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you toward a pod. You could feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins and, your heart was racing so fast, and your breaths were short.
All you could think about was Thor. Where was he? Was he alright?
No.
He was not.
As soon as you entered the pod and Val had closed you in it, it was suddenly torn apart. The supposed sliding door had been ripped from its hinges.
The metal that you rested your back upon started to give, and the feeling of moving forward caused your heart to leap.
You were launched out and onto the floor.
It took a second to gain your bearings. You looked up and saw Val. She was fighting, and you were thankful to see her, but it was a short-lived relief.
The… thing she was fighting, the blue alien, grabbed hold of her and flung her across the ship. She landed somewhere near a pod and didn't move. You remembered screaming for her, but she didn't budge.
That's when the creature turned his attention to you.
You tried to move, but the metal that was supposed to hold the pod in place had you pinned.
You tried to pry the metal from your skin, but your weak and vulnerable body couldn’t break the bond.
The alien slowly moved towards you and, in a swift movement, had ripped the metal away.
He was so close, and you had no idea what was going on, who he was, or what his intentions were.
When you felt his large, rough, and cold hand wrap around the back of your neck, panic started to set in. You wanted to kick and scream, but all you could do was stare at the beast before you.
And thus, you were dragged away from the evacuation site and thrown into a separate area. You came to the conclusion that whoever this was, it seemed to be a metal bender or something similar due to his abilities.
All you saw was a demented blue face with squid-like features, staring down at you as he threw you around like a rag doll.
The fifth time he threw you, you landed roughly on the floor, causing your shoulder to make a loud crack noise and the pain to shoot through your body. Your hands landed on something soft, softer than the floor, and when you looked down, you realized the blue thing had thrown you into a room full of corpses.
But it wasn’t just any corpses. The one you had specifically landed upon had been the body of the man you had recently become close friends with, Thor’s friend, Heimdall.
Tears immediately pooled in your eyes, and your breathing became ragged. You tried to sit up and pull your body off of Heimdall in respect, but the pain shooting through your arm and back kept you frozen in place.
The lifeless eyes of the man who saw everything were open, and for once, he was staring at nothing. It was a haunting image.
The tears were now falling, and a sob escaped your lips. You wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. You wanted to scream and shout. You wanted to fight and claw at the alien that took until it bled. But all you could do was lay there, unable to move and weep.
Then, a voice caught your attention. It was deep, and it was coming from the alien that had brought you to this place.
His eyes were no longer focused on you, but they were somewhere else. He was talking to someone.
“Boss,” it spoke, his voice deep and gravelly. You couldn’t bear to look at the being. Not when you were face to face with the lifeless body of the gatekeeper. “There’s a human woman here. A pathetic one, no doubt, but one nonetheless. Should we end her? Or leave her to rot like the others?"
A silence filled the air, and you had no idea what was going on, who he was speaking with, or who was giving him instructions. You could’ve looked. You could have glanced up at the thing, and seen for yourself, but you too were afraid.
Your eyes remained glued to the golden ones that were once filled with light and wisdom.
There was silence, and then a loud, deep, thump. It had startled you, but it wasn't anything like the explosion of the ship, no, it sounded more like a boot or a shoe had come in contact with metal. But, it was loud enough to grab your attention.
You didn’t move. Your eyes didn't stray.
But, your body trembled in fear.
Suddenly, you heard his voice, and it sounded more terrifying than any sound that had echoed in the air prior. It was even deeper, and even more frightening than the other.
“I think not. We have use of her."
He had a deep and gravelly voice, but it was smooth. Calm. Almost friendly.
Then, a large, purple foot, appeared in your vision, and slowly, the purple being leaned down and stared at you. His gaze was strong, and piercing. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. You were too terrified to move, speak, or breathe.
Again, it wasn’t human. It was an alien. And a big one, at that.
He had no hair, only a helmet. His skin was purple and he wore strange looking clothing, including a golden glove that had both a bright purple stone and a blue one.
You’ve never seen such a creature before. You thought those dark elves were terrifying, but they were nothing compared to this man.
And for some reason, he was looking at you like you were an ant, and he was the boot that would crush you.
In fact, he was looking at you with pity, and it confused the hell out of you.
But, when his hand moved, and his fingers had touched the soft strand of your hair, you couldn't help but flinch.
The moment his fingers made contact with you, though, you heard a loud grunt. One that didn’t sound alienated or distorted. It was clear, and you could tell who it was, instantly.
Your head shot up, ignoring the pain in your arm, and the moment your eyes met his, everything stopped.
Everything.
It was Thor.
Your Thor. Your everything.
He was in front of you the entire time, and you had no clue.
The tears were falling. They were falling hard and fast, and you couldn’t stop them. And for once, it wasn’t because of relief.
Thor was encased with metal. His arms and legs were pinned by it. He was bleeding from his head, and he was covered in bruises.
He looked like hell and gave off the same energy.
He was struggling to free himself. That’s what the sounds were. The grunts, the heavy breathing, and the loud thumping. He was trying to get out of his prison to get to you. To save you.
The alien was staring down at you. His eyes were dark and intimidating, but his presence was even more so. He was the embodiment of terror.
Then, without any warning, he grabbed you by the throat.
It was an unexpected move. He had picked you up by the neck with just one hand. He had a grip so tight you couldn't breathe, and the pressure on your throat was unbearable.
You could hear Thor screaming. Yelling.
You could barely hear what he was saying. Your ears were ringing, and the pain of the hand wrapped around your throat was all you could focus on.
But, you could see him. You could see him perfectly.
You saw his blue eye and the patch that covered the missing one. You saw the stubble along his chin. The slight scar that was just below the patch. The wrinkles on his forehead.
You could see it all.
And the look of desperation and horror. It broke you.
You couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much.
Then, in the blink of an eye, you felt release.
You fell to the floor and started gasping for air. It was like the moment the alien released his grip on you, everything began again. The world, your thoughts, the chaos.
It was all there, and you couldn’t keep up.
“I see it now.” You heard the voice of the alien say. Your vision was blurry, and your eyes were still stinging from the tears, but you could make him out if only a bit.
He was now standing, towering over you, but he wasn’t looking at you. No, he was looking at Thor; his eyes were focused on the god, which sent a chill down your spine.
When dealing with Hela, you find yourself recovering with confidence. She could’ve easily killed you with a snap of her finger, but when she demanded your name, you had spat in her face and gave a smile.
Even though Thor wasn’t there at that moment, you somehow knew he’d be coming back to put an end to her, and you would be safe. It was like a sixth sense that came and made you stop panicking and running.
And, even though he technically didn’t put her down, he still was your knight in shining armor. It was the same with the dark elves and even with Loki.
They were all terrifying, yes, but somehow, you knew that Thor would save the day.
Now, though, it was different. You weren’t scared or panicked; no, you were terrified.
The fact that Thor was trapped and was physically in pain, the fact that Heimdall and more innocent Asgardians were lying on the floor, dead, and the fact that Loki was missing and Val was knocked unconscious, it had all hit you at once.
You felt like you were suffocating, and it only worsened when the alien spoke again.
“I was questioning why a mortal was amongst a group of Asgardians, how such a fragile being could survive so long among gods. I wondered, but I see it now. You have been blessed by one, and the last, of Odin's children."
The alien's attention was back on you, and the intensity of his gaze had you trembling. He was staring at you, looking through you, and reading you like a book.
"What a pitiful yet fortunate creature you are."
It was like the oxygen had been sucked from your lungs, and when he moved, you found yourself flinching and scooting backward.
He had leaned down again, and his large hand had grabbed the side of your face. The feeling of his skin on yours made your skin crawl, and the urge to vomit was growing.
Thor wasn’t having it. He was thrashing about; the metal that was encasing his body was bending and stretching with each move.
His cries of anger and the desperation in his eyes were heartbreaking. And it was only shut up by the alien who had taken you. A piece of metal flew to Thor’s mouth and held it in place, preventing him from yelling.
More grunts and muffled noises could be heard from the god, but you could no longer see him now. The purple man was blocking your view.
But, despite that, he was still talking to Thor.
"It is a shame, Thor Odinson. I take pity on the both of you, and I apologize, for it seems that fate has not been kind to either of you. But, we must make sacrifices. It is unfortunate that your beloved had to be one of them."
Then, suddenly, the alien turned his gaze back to you, and his dark eyes bore into yours. He was staring directly into your soul.
"Fear not, small child,” he said, his voice sounding almost calm. “You will not have to endure the pain and suffering as I did.”
The words that left his mouth did not give you comfort. It was quite the opposite.
Thor came back into your viewpoint as the purple man had moved, and when your eyes met his, all you saw was a mixture of panic and despair.
Thor's expression had you feeling a type of way. You could feel your stomach sink.
You weren’t dumb. You were far from it.
You knew where this was going, and your mind was screaming, screaming for you to do something, anything.
Run.
Fight.
Scream.
Just do something.
But all you did was stare. Stare at the man that you loved. The man that loved you. The man who had saved you countless times.
But he couldn’t save you now, even when you cried out his name in a soft voice, that frail, humane part of you begging him with your eyes to stop this from happening.
To stop it from hurting.
He couldn’t.
All he could do was look at you, look as you were taken. Look as you were pulled away from him.
All he could do was stare and scream.
It was the loudest, most horrific sound you had ever heard. It was worse than the explosion.
It was worse than anything.
It was the cry of a man who had just lost the last thing that gave him purpose.
It was the sound of a god being torn to pieces.
And it was all because of you.
That was the last thing you heard. That was the last image that burned itself into your brain.
The sound of Thor and his desperate screams was the last thing you remembered.
Everything after that was darkness.
No memories, no thoughts, nothing.
Just darkness.
All he wanted was you.
All he needed was you.
And now, all he had left was the memory of you: that and his broken heart.
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bardicious · 2 years
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BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Chris Hemsworth, please, honestly GO FUCK YOURSELF. LMAO.
Okay, so, listen, this is honestly going to be the last I ever talk about this, but the fact that I've been proven right about this jackasses involvement in this whole affair has got me laughing!
In 2017, or the year previous, who the fuck knows, Chris Hemsworth got his friend, Taika Waititi to direct Thor 3. Thor Ragnarok, which heavily diverged from the cinematography and the lore of the previous two Thor movies. Chris Hemsworth decided Thor was too boring. He didn't like playing him anymore. He wanted to play someone new and fun. He wanted to play himself. And he got just that.
I'll give Ragnarok enough credit, that aye, I might be fooled into thinking there was some interest the title character. But after Love and Thunder? No, now I know I've been fooled into watching a costume party by Chris Hemsworth, his family, and his friends. Ding ding ding! What do we have here, Johnny?
A bottom tier celebrity making a franchise that not only was all about him - his character, but all about him!!! He's playing himself!
His daughter at the end of Thor: Love and Thunder, is his daughter in real life (she's cute, no diss). His two sons played younger versions of him. His wife was a wolf woman he made out with! His best friends Matt fucking Damon and Taika Waititi both star in the role and the latter directs it.
I'm sorry, but at what fucking point did I sign up for a lazy written fanfiction? Because that's sure as hell not what I thought would happen in Thor 1 or 2, or Avengers. And you know, I am still mad, because I enjoyed the OG Thor, I enjoyed the OG Loki, and Marvel and, wow, did it not pay off.
Alas, it's on me for watching any new Thor films (aye, listen, I gotta family here!), but I just wanted to tell anyone who ever said Thor is a walking self insert nowadays. You are completely and utterly spot on.
Applaud yourself.
PS. Full Review* -> Here
Have fun!
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chickensarentcheap · 2 months
Text
Lost and Found- Chapter 26
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Fandom: Extraction
Pairing: Tyler Rake and Esme Drummond (established OFC. However, you do not need to read the other fics to understand this one)
Tagging: @tragiclyhip @themaradwrites @secretaryunpaid @youflickedtooharddamnit @munstysmind @residentdormouse @thebejeweledwatercat @asirensrage @theesirenteller @ninjasawakenedmystar @alisbackalleybbq @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciation @occommunity @fanficanatic-tw @karimac @kmc1989
Warnings: profanity, brief mentions of blood, bruises, scrapes, cuts. Nothing major.
Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43179357/chapters/134444914
My tag list is OPEN. Please just message me or comment on this post to be added :D
*****
The house is one of half a dozen Nik has collected around the world; located on the Amalfi Coast along the southern edge of Italy’s Sorrentine peninsula. A highly secure five-bedroom, six-bathroom villa that backs onto a cliff that overlooks the Tyrrhenian Sea; built a kilometre from the main road and hidden from sight by a dense, expansive lemon grove.
Despite the years of both work experience and friendship, he had never set foot in any of her homes; business always being conducted in neutral yet secretive places, over the telephone, or even -years before- at his old shack in the outback. They have always travelled in different circles; Nik’s beyond-the-job friendships extending to powerful politicians, multi-million and billionaire businessmen, heads of organized crime and the shady, top-notch lawyers that defended them. Tyler prefers to stick with the couple of buddies he’s known for years; the ones that he can trust with nearly every one of his darkest and deepest secrets. Koen and Rata both serving with him in the ‘normal’ ranks of the Australian Army before he secured his place with SASR. The former his direct superior officer for several years; since the day he’d shown up at boot camp as a cocky, wet-behind-the-years eighteen-year-old.
While Nik prefers the sophisticated, luxurious life that being a gun runner and the head of her mercenary business provides her, Tyler has always lived well below his means. Able to afford much more than that shack in the outback and even the house in the Broome, but never feeling the need for something more expensive and flashy. Even keeping the same old pickup he’d had since he was a teenager; doing his own repairs for nearly two decades before finally running the old girl into the ground.
Their distinct differences had prevented him from developing something more with Nik; drawn instead to the normalcy and practicality that Esme brought into his life. She had always longed for a much simpler and quieter existence; preferring not to draw attention to herself and never surrounding herself with those that they encountered in their respective careers Somehow managing to keep the two sides of her life -of HERSELF- completely separate; leaving the job behind the second a mission wrapped and able to -no matter how brief- enjoy a normal life. The job didn’t control her, and she didn’t obsess over her successes and failures. Indulging instead in all the little moments that came with routine and domesticity. Nik, however, was unable ever to let the job go. Spending every waking moment immersing herself in the lifestyle and enjoying its spoils. And she certainly never entertained the idea or wish of something more beyond it; laughing off any suggestion that perhaps marriage and children and settling down were somewhere in her cards.
He had never realized he wanted any of that either; his first marriage had crashed and burned, and he’d been a complete and utter failure as a father. But then he’d met Esme, and everything quickly changed. HE changed. Finding himself both mesmerized and intrigued by the love and joy she somehow still possessed for life and everyone in it, the whimsy she possessed, and those hopeful and wistful dreams that she carried with her everywhere she went.
THAT was someone he could see carving out a future with.
Upon arrival, he reluctantly puts his trust in the medic to ‘deliver’ Esme to the waiting doctor; a longtime colleague of Nik’s who has attended to many injuries -both minor and life-threatening and everything in between- over the course of the last decade and a half. The largest of the villa’s guest rooms is already prepared and stocked with various medical equipment and supplies: a machine to monitor vitals, an IV stand and a pain medicine pump. And it isn’t until that moment that he’s able to register his discomfort; plagued by near-crippling mental and physical exhaustion. His entire body screaming in pain; his lower back on fire, both his knees stiff and painful, and his head pounding from a likely concussion of his own. Yet he knows sleep will likely elude him. Plagued by a potent mixture of emotions; the profound worry for Esme, the lingering regret and guilt for his choices, and his momentary lapse of judgement. And a rage that remains on a low boil when it comes to both Alessio, his actions, and Winston’s betrayal and the words he’d spoken in the basement.
Instead of allowing himself to second-guess his decisions and plot revenge, he focuses on Millie. Carefully unbuckling her from the booster seat in the back of one of Nik’s many chauffeured cars, easily lifting her with one arm and tucking her tight into his chest. Her legs and arms dangle loosely as her head rests on his shoulder; not offering up even the slightest of flinches or mumbles when he tosses her sequined unicorn backpack -full of her art supplies, finished pictures, and her beloved doll and koala bear- over his shoulder.
“Her room’s the first one at the top of the stairs.” Nik nods toward the central staircase; gleaming white and gray marble accompanied by polished steel handrails and glass panels. “On the right.”
It makes the bitterness return; the realization that Millie has her own ‘place’ in Nik’s home. An expansive and beautiful suite fit for a princess, decorated in all of her favourite colours, holding all of her favourite toys and belongings, the closets filled with her clothes. He had been robbed of all of that; never getting the chance to put a crib together, change a single diaper, put her in a bubble gum pink onesie, or slip one of those ridiculous flowered headbands onto her head. He never got to tuck her in and read her a bedtime story; he was never able to help with potty training or assist with brushing her teeth. He hadn’t witnessed her going from rolling from back to front and side to side to sitting up and eventually pulling up into a stand. He wasn’t there when she’d taken her first steps, hadn’t seen her learning to run, and hadn’t heard her first words.
So many missed opportunities. Things that others had been blessed to experience. While he’d never even known of her existence.
He uses a hip to push open the door and an elbow to flick on the light. The room is enormous; possessing its own walk-in closet and ensuite bath and a separate crafting area sectioned off with a dinosaur AND princess-themed room divider. An entire wall is taken up with built-in shelves, hosting books, stuffed animals, and a wide selection of Barbie dolls, action figures, and matchbox cars. A wrought iron canopy bed sits in the middle of the room and atop a three-stepped platform; the frame decorated with pink and gray camouflage drapes and the mattress covered in a Batman comforter.
Tossing the backpack in a nearby chair, he climbs the steps to the bed; Millie clutched to his chest with one arm as his free hand pulls back the blankets and flat sheet. And she gives a slight whimper and a heavy sigh when he places her in the middle of the mattress; her eyes flickering open as she lets out a long, soft “daddy” and reaches up for him.
Time seems to stand still. His entire body tenses as the emotions -profound and overwhelming- rush through him. It’s been a long time since he’s been called that; over a decade since Austin had addressed him that way during his last weeks in the hospital as the cancer ravaged him. Esme had been the one who’d given him a semblance of hope; that one day he’d once more be given that title and he’d hear the word come out of a little one’s mouth. When she left, that dream had evaporated; gone was the one person he could ever see making that kind of commitment and building that kind of future with. And while Millie may not be fully aware of what she’s saying in a semi-conscious moment, it still nearly brings him to his knees; tears welling in his eyes as his throat tightens and his heart hammers within his chest.
Grumbling her displeasure of being awakened, Millie sits up in bed; her brow furrowed and eyes half closed, a pout curving her lips. Stuck in a state of disorientation and confusion as she glances around the room. “Where are we?”
“We’re at Auntie Nik’s house. The one in Italy. Remember how I told you? About how we were going to stay here for a few days?”
“Oh…” Yawning noisily, she presses the heels of her palms into her eyes. “...yeah…I remember. Where’s momma?”
“The doctor is taking a look at her. Just to make sure she’s doing alright. Then she’s going to sleep. Just like you’re going to. You want jammies on or are you just gonna sleep in your clothes or…?”
“Jammies, please. Where’s Franklin? And Posie? I can’t sleep without Franklin or Posie. Posie needs her jammies on, too. They’re with mine. They match.”
Collecting the doll and koala out of the backpack, he drops them on the bed. “And the jammies…”
“In my dresser. Top middle drawer.”
He searches for pyjamas for both her and the doll, finally locating matching nightgowns: white cotton with thin straps, the fabric emblazoned with colourful butterflies.
“Those are my favourite!” Millie enthuses, as she wriggles out of her clothes. “Mommy made those for us! Out of pillowcases! They’re really supposed to be dresses, but I always liked wearing them as jammies. So does Posie.”
“Your mum’s a pretty talented one, isn’t she?”
“Most of the time. Just don’t ask her to cook. She’s not very good at that. At all. My dirty clothes go in there…” She nods towards the ensuite bathroom.. “...that’s where the washer and dryer are.”
“You have your own washer and dryer? You're four.”
“It’s not like I know how to use them. They’re just there. For convenience, I guess. Well, I do know HOW to put stuff in the wash and in the dryer. I just can’t reach to turn them on.”
“You are way too smart for your own good.”
“Mom says that all the time.”
Retreating to the ensuite, tossing the clothes into the washer; leaving the door open for more to be added later. And when he returns to the bedroom, both Millie and the doll are already in their pyjamas; the four-year-old waiting in bed with a hairbrush in one hand, and a package of elastics in the other.
“We have to do my hair. Or it gets really knotted when I’m asleep and then it’s really hard to brush it in when I get up.. And it hurts like hell too! Do you know how to braid hair?”
“No.”
“I can teach you!”
“How about we leave that for tomorrow? When it’s not so late. Think maybe we could do something else with it? Put it in a bun or a ponytail or…?”
“Ponytail is alright. But you gotta put it up on the top of my head, or I can’t sleep. ‘Cause it hurts to lie on it.”
He gingerly and patiently works the brush through Millie’s tresses, then gathers it in both hands and secures it with the hair tie she passes to him. It’s a simple experience shared with his daughter, yet it brings back vivid memories of similar moments with her mother. Those times when Esme would be busy in the kitchen; focused on a recipe she was trying to recreate or the baking that had that little cabin filled with delicious aromas. He’d approach her from behind; sneaking a kiss to her cheek or temple before putting her hair back for her.
“What else?”
“I gotta brush my teeth.”
“How ‘bout we skip it tonight?”
“Momma won’t like that.”
“I won’t tell her if you won’t. We’ll just make sure you brush them twice as long after breakfast.”
“Does that work? Does it really make up for not doing it before bed?”
“Of course. Would I lie to you?”
Millie shakes her head, ponytail swaying from side to side.
“So does your mum read a story to you or…?”
“Sometimes. Not every night. Only if I ask. I’m too tired tonight. No stories. But thank you.”
“Do you want me to just tuck you in or…?”
“Will you snuggle with me? Just for a little bit? It’s been a really bad day, and I’m still super sad. I need a snuggle. A really good one. And momma can’t do it, so…”
He agrees to the snuggle; moving towards the door in order to shut off the lights, pauses with his hand on the switch. “You got a night light or something?”
“Nope. I’m not scared of that dark, daddy. I’m not a baby!”
He wants to tell her that yes, she is. That she’s HIS baby. How regardless of how old she gets and how many children she has of her own, she always WILL be. And while the first time being called daddy had been a shock, the second occurrence hits even harder; the realization that it was a fully conscious decision on Millie’s part and not just a slip of the tongue… a random moment…while still teetering on the edge of sleep. He’s thankful for the darkness that envelopes the room when he turns off the light, able to hide the tears sparkling in his eyes and the millions of questions a very observant Millie will lob at him. And climbing into bed beside her, he wraps both arms around her; that tiny body snuggling tightly against him, doll and bear under one arm, her face nestled in his ribs.
“You good?”
“I’m good. You’re nice and warm. And comfy. You make me feel safe. Like I don’t have anything to be scared of.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of. No one can hurt you anymore. I won’t let them.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. And I’d promise with a million pinkie promises.”
“That’s a lot!”
“That’s how honest I’m being. You and your mum ARE safe. And I’ll make sure you stay that way. I won’t let anyone hurt you guys. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for either of you. You know that, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Nuzzling her face against his side, she places her free hand on his chest. “Will you draw on my back? Please? It helps me sleep.”
He obliges, his own eyes closing as his fingertips create random patterns on her back. Several minutes passing before she yawns and raises her head to look at him, eyes sparkling in the moonlight that streams through the curtains.
“Daddy?”
“Millie?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
“I’ll go to sleep AFTER I ask my question.”
“What is it?”
“You and momma lived together, right? Before I came along? In Australia?”
“We did.”
“In the house you live in now?”
“No. A different house. In a different part of Australia.”
“But the house you live in now is the house we are ALL going to live in? Or do we have to get a new one?”
“We won’t have to get a new one for a while. There’s enough room for all of us. And maybe one or two more people.”
“That means you and momma can start having babies!”
“That’s something your mum and I would have to talk about. I don’t know if she’s quite ready for that. Having babies.”
“Well, I hope she’s ready soon. ‘Cause I really want to be a big sister. And I’m not getting any younger!”
“If you think you’re not getting any younger, how do you think I feel? I’m way older than you are.”
“How much older?”
“A lot.”
“How much is that? How old ARE you?”
“I’m forty.”
“Holy shit!”
“Excuse you? Forty’s not THAT old.”
“It’s middle age! You’re older than momma!”
“I am.”
“Momma’s only thirty-four. But she’s going to be thirty-five soon. Maybe we can have a party for her. For her birthday.”
“I don’t see why we couldn’t.”
“We can even make her a birthday cake and put up balloons and streamers and play games! We can even take her out for dinner!”
“You got it all planned, do you?”
“Most of it. I don’t know about the guest list, though.”
“That’s something we can talk about when it’s closer to the time. For now….” He drops a kiss on the top of her head. “...it’s time for bed. It’s late. And it’s been a really long day. Time to sleep, okay?”
“Okay.” Pushing herself up onto her elbow, she pecks his cheek, followed by the corner of his mouth. Her face buried in his ribs as she once more lies down next to him. “Goodnight, daddy. Love you.”
Tears threaten once more. “I love you, too. So very much.”
*****
He’s teetering on the edge of sleep when a soft knock comes to the door; Nik standing on the threshold, motioning for him to join her and the doctor in the hallway. Carefully slipping from under Millie’s arm and out of bed, he tucks the blankets around her slumbering form and then leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. Reluctantly leaving her side, he joins Nikand the doctor in the hallway, quietly shutting the door behind him.
“How’s she doing?” Nik inquires, her voice scarcely above a whisper.
“She’s finally asleep. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from. She wore me out a long time ago.”
“You’ve got your work cut out for you, daddy. She’s cute as hell, but she can be a real handful. And you’ve just been thrown right to the wolves.”
“Esme?” Tyler addresses the doctor. “ How is she?”
“Very lucky. Considering the intensity of the crash and the damage done to the vehicle, I’m surprised we’re not looking at life-threatening injuries. If not worse.”
“Anything I need to worry about or…?”
“For the most part, I agree with the medic’s findings. There’s no sign of internal bleeding, and there’s no dilation of the pupils, slurred speech, or difficulties with reflexes. And no confusion; she was able to tell me her full name, what day, month, and year it was, and give a very detailed description of what exactly happened. Ruling out a brain injury, the diagnosis remains the same; whiplash and a moderate to severe concussion. Both should begin to ease within the next few days. I do suspect a bruised liver and spleen, however. I’ll be able to monitor those over the next forty-eight hours. For any sign of tearing or rupture.”
“He does think the sternum is broken,” Nik pipes up. “Based on the severity of the pain. And limited movement.”
“Nothing more than a hairline fracture,” the Doctor explains. “And nothing that we could repair surgically or even cast for. The best course of action is none; just letting it heal on its own. She’ll need to rest it for at least four weeks; no lifting anything over ten pounds, no repetitive movement. She can wear a sling if she finds it lessens the discomfort. As far as I can tell, the majority of the pain is actually from the contusion caused by the seat belt; deep and prolific bruising from the top of her shoulder, running diagonally to the left hip. I have her on IV antibiotics and pain meds for the next twenty-four hours; after that I’ll be able to switch her to oral medication.”
“Can she eat or drink? If she wakes up hungry or thirsty…?”
“She’s allowed both solids and liquid. I suggest keeping meals small and light. Her system is in shock from the amount of injuries and the pain; anything too heavy could cause stomach upset. And preventing further discomfort is important at this time.”
“And how long will we have to stay here? When can I take her home?”
“Within a week, she should be able to move around quite freely and without much difficulty or pain. I wouldn’t suggest flying any sooner than that; the altitude would put pressure on the brain, and with the concussion, it could cause severe issues. Swelling, blood clots, aneurysms. It’s safer to wait seven days. After that, even when home, you’ll have to keep an eye on her; make sure she stays on top of her meds, and follows the rules when it comes to healing properly.”
“But she’s going to be okay? She’ll be back to normal? Eventually?”
“She’s young and healthy. There’s nothing to suggest she WON’T be back to normal. Just keep an eye out for anything that suggests trouble; severe headaches beyond what a concussion would provide, any unexplained swelling and redness anywhere on the body, a high fever, speech issues, or any loss of consciousness. If any of those happen, she has to be seen immediately. Wherever you are. Now…” Tilting his head to the side, his eyes narrow as he takes in the various bruises and cuts on Tyler’s neck and face. “...perhaps I should take a look at YOU now.”
“You don’t need to. I’m fine. I cleaned myself up. Fixed what I could. I don’t…”
“You should be looked at,” Nik gently persuades. “Esme wasn’t the only one in that accident. You’re pretty banged up. Just let the doctor take a look and…”
“I said I’m fine.” His voice stern. Harsher than it needs to be. “I’ve gone through a lot worse. And lived to tell about it. All I really need is some sleep.”
“If you have your own concussion or some internal damage or…”
Ignoring Nik, he once more addresses the doctor. “I’ll let you know if I start feeling worse. Right now, I’m just tired. I just need to rest. It’s been a hell of a long day. Thank you,” He offers his hand. “For taking care of her. If anything had have been seriously wrong…”
“She’s going to make a full recovery. And because of her good health and how she’s taken care of herself throughout her life, she’ll likely heal faster than most. Right now, rest and relaxation are her best friends. And keeping up with a med schedule. I’ve left my home and cell numbers on the nightstand in the bedroom; call if you have even the slightest bit of concern. I’ll be right over.”
Nodding in both appreciation and farewell, he turns on his heel to head for the bedroom next door.
“Tyler…wait…”
“Nik, not tonight. I’m not in the mood for this shit. I’m tired, and I’m sore, and I desperately need at least a few hours of sleep.”
“I wasn’t going to…”
“I don’t need to have the doctor look at me, and I sure as hell don’t need you getting on my ass. So if you're even thinking about bringing up me leaving when all this is over…”
“Actually, I WAS going to say that I had your things brought to the room. And that there are fresh towels and facecloths in the bathroom. I would have had one of the other guest suites made up, but I already knew you would argue with me; that you wouldn’t want to be away from her.”
“Despite how rough things have been…between us…I do appreciate it, Nik. Everything that you’ve done. Especially in the last few days. I don’t agree with what you did; not letting me know that Esme was alive and that I had a kid out there. And it’s going to take me a hell of a long time to get over it. I can’t pretend I’m not pissed off. That I’m not hurt. I can’t just turn all that off, you know? It isn’t something I can just forgive.”
“I couldn’t betray her trust. Not even for you. She relied on me; to keep her and Millie safe. And I…”
“Safe from who? Me? I wasn’t a threat to them. You didn’t need to protect them from me.”
“She wanted to protect you. She thought she was doing the right thing. And whether I agreed with that or not…”
“I’m not going to get into this right now. I just can’t do it. I’ve said everything I needed to say. Other than thank you. For taking care of her and Millie. Keeping them safe. You didn’t have to step up like that, but you did. And if it wasn’t for you, who knows where they’d be right now. Kinda scares me to even think about it.”
“I took care of them for YOU. Because I knew one day she’d track you down and you’d get that chance; to be a family and grow old together. I WANTED that for you, Tyler. I wanted you to get your ‘happy ever after.’ And I’ve never seen you as just a commodity. You’ve always been more than that. Much more.”
“I want to believe that, Nik. I do. But right now…”
“You’re hurt. You’re angry. And you’ve got every right to feel those things. I just hope one day you’ll realize what I did, I did for them and YOU. Try and get some rest. It’s been a long day. And Millie is going to have you up and bright and early, believe me.” “If it’s before the crack of dawn, I’m sending her to you.”
“Don’t even think about it. I plan on sleeping until noon.”
“You’re gonna up with the sun, and you know it. It’s just who you are. The way you’re made.”
“Try and relax, Tyler. It’s safe here. THEY’RE safe.”
“Sometimes that’s easier said than done.”
“In a week’s time, you’ll be back home. With your family. The chances of any threats finding you there…”
“There’s always a chance, Nik. You know that.”
“I’ll do what I can. When it comes to handling things in New York City. Making sure the trouble stays there. And once things settle down…for good…that’s it. You’re free.”
“Only if you’ll let me be.”
“It’ll be hard to let you go. We’ve been through a lot together. SEEN a lot.”
“You should know by now that you can’t get rid of me THAT easy. After all, you’re Auntie Nik, yeah? Something tells me Millie wouldn’t stand for you just up and disappearing.”
“She doesn’t have to worry about that. She’s my family. So is her mom. And so are you. Sleep well. You’ve earned it.”
Nodding in agreement and apprehension, he moves towards the guest room, hesitating as his fingers curl around the door handle, and just as Nik steps onto the top landing of the stairs. “Nik?”
She hesitates.
“Thank you.”
She manages a weary smile. “Goodnight, Tyler.”
*****
A long, hot shower makes him feel almost human again. Thirty minutes spent standing motionless under a punishing stream of hot water as it not only rid his hair and body of remaining remnants of debris and blood, but brought some relief to his lower back, base of his skull, and both shoulders. Afterwards in the light of the bathroom, he’s able to better assess the damage done to his body; various cuts and abrasions along both arms and legs, large bruises on the front and backs of his thighs and in the middle of his back, several smaller across his collarbone. A perfect impression of the steering wheel -and its emblem- covers the majority of his sternum, and the skin on the left side of his rib cage has begun to turn vivid, various shades of purple and blue. Far surpassing the damage done in Georgia and Vienna, even WITH the gunshot to his hand and to his lower left abdomen. The latter missing all vital organs and lodging near his hip; an easy removal for the medical team at the Graz-Karlau prison. Barely leaving a scar behind and requiring a very short rest and recovery time.
He navigates the bedroom by both the streaks of moonlight that spill through the window coverings and the glow given off by the portable ECG machine monitoring Esme’s vitals. Rummaging through the rucksack; he locates the lone pair of sweats he’d packed for his initial business trip; grimacing at the stiffness in his knees and discomfort in his back as he steps into them. The bed -more expansive than an average king- is more than large enough for both of them to sleep in, and for her to be kept safe from his tossing and turning; eager to spare her an errant elbow to the back or stomach or a knee into a thigh. And he creeps to her side, watching as she sleeps soundly; light, peaceful smile curving her lips’ with her face turned towards the window. The soft, silvery sheen the moon casts upon her face shows off the various cuts and bruises that she’d incurred earlier in the day; the vivid purple and blue upon her forehead, across the bridge of her nose, and on the tops of both cheeks and under one eye.
It’s painful to look at; the mere thought of her injured and in discomfort nearly splitting his heart in two. Hating his perceived negligence and failure to keep her safe had led her to this; hooked up to various wires and tubes from the IV and pain. Hurting far worse than he’d ever expected it to; believing that watching his son suffer and waste away had steeled him against witnessing someone experiencing pain and illness. But it aches to his very soul; twisting and wrenching at his guts and a sorrow -for someone who is still very much alive- creating a death grip around his heart. And emotion chokes at him as he crouches at the side of the bed; smoothing a hand over her hair and laying his palm on the top of her head, thumb repeatedly brushing across her brow.
“I’m so sorry, Me.” He grazes his knuckles over her bruised and swollen cheek. “I am so fucking sorry.”
She murmurs in her sleep, then releases a long, soft sigh as she nestles her cheek into his palm.
“And I’m sorry for being as angry and as hurt as I am. I know you did the best you could; that you left because you were scared, and you wanted to protect me. But you kept my daughter from me. When there was no reason to. And I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get over that. If I ever really do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I have ALWAYS loved you. Those five years changed nothing.” Leaning forward, he presses a lingering kiss to her brow, then to her lips. “You sleep, okay? ‘Cause that’s the only way you’re gonna get better. Because that’s what Millie needs; her mom back to normal. And I need that too.” He pulls back with a heavy sigh; running the tip of his index finger down the bridge of her nose. “This is all going to be over soon. I promise. There’s nothing for you to be scared of anymore. No one can hurt you now. And they won’t hurt you EVER again.”
His knees crack, and he bites back the pain as he stands. The limp in his right leg more pronounced as he retreats to his side of the bed, peeling back the layers of blankets and slides underneath. His body is sore and weary, and his head immediately sinks into the pillow; the case and the crisp, linen sheets cool and refreshing against his skin. He’s never experienced this level of exhaustion; not even during the months of tedious and often agonizing physical therapy sessions that had preceded his release from the hospital in Dubai. It’s a tiredness that is bone…SOUL…deep; both limbs and eyes feeling impossibly heavy, his own body seeming rooted to its place. And despite the years of frequent bouts of insomnia, it isn’t long before rest claims him. Lulled to sleep by the faint beeping of the EKG machine, Esme’s soft rhythmic breathing, and the rolling of the waves as they wash up onto the shore.
*****
He sleeps soundly despite the pain and only over-the-counter pills to dull it, stirring only once when the nurse crept into the room in the dead of the night to change Esme’s IV and med bag and then reset the pump. He remembers a brief, exhausted chat; the nurse apologizing for waking him, the exchange of pleasantries, and his peppering of questions in regards to Esme’s vitals and the continued care she’ll be receiving. Already back asleep before the woman even finished her duties and slipped from the room. When he finally wakes for the day, it’s courtesy of a tiny hand repeatedly -and remarkably vigorously- shaking him and a tiny voice calling his name. And cracking open his eyes, he moans in discomfort when he’s immediately greeted by the sun’s harsh rays, followed by Millie’s wide, beaming smile as she stands at the side of the bed. Clad in her pyjamas with her doll under one arm, teddy under the other; her high ponytail having loosened in her sleep and now sitting at an awkward angle on the side of her head.
“Hi!” she chirps. “Hi, daddy.”
“Hey…”
“Did you sleep good?”
“Better than I expected to. Is something wrong?”
“Nope.”
“You’re okay?”
Millie nods.
“What are you doing? What…?”
“I’m hungry. My tum is complaining.REALLY loud. I went downstairs and looked for Carmen, but I couldn’t find her. And there’s no brekkie waiting in the kitchen. Usually, she has brekkie finished and waiting for me.”
“Who’s Carmen?”
“Auntie Nik’s cook.”
“Auntie Nik has a cook?”
“And someone that shops for her, someone that books all her appointments, a chauffeur, and a maid.”
“What does she do? If she has all those people doing everything for her?”
“Wears nice clothes and kicks butt and takes names.”
“Is that what you’re going to be like? When you’re older?”
“I’m already like that.”
Chuckling, he reaches out to playfully tug on her ponytail. “So I guess this means I better get my ass up, yeah? Can’t exactly do stuff on your own.”
“I CAN make my own breakfast. Well, just cereal and toast, but still, I’m ONLY four, so that’s pretty good, right? That I can do that?”
“Your mumma’s been doing a damn good job, that’s for sure. Teaching you things.”
“She wants me to be strong and independent. But not grow up too fast. But one day, I’ll be able to make pancakes and scrambled eggs and bacon. Not just boring old cereal and toast.”
“Are you trying to tell me you want something else? More than that?”
She giggles as she drops her chin to her chest. “I’m REALLY hungry. I could eat the shit out of a dead hippo.”
Smirking, he tosses off his blankets. “Where did you learn that?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t give up my sources.”
“Well, you know what? I could eat the shit out of a dead hippo, too. So why don’t we go downstairs and raid the fridge, and see what we can dig up. Sound good?”
“Sounds good.” She steps back as he slides out of bed, her brow furrowing as she studies her mother’s bruised and battered and sleeping form.. “ What about momma, though? She’ll be all by herself. She might get lonely. What if she wakes up and we’re not here? She might be scared. And sad. I don’t want her to be scared and sad.”
“IF she wakes up, she knows we’re not far away. That we wouldn’t just leave her. She knows how much we love her; that we’d never just take off on her. Besides, she’s going to be doing a lot of sleeping for the next few days.”
“‘Cause the doctor said so?”
“It’s the best thing for her. So that her body can get better. And that’s what we want, yeah? Mumma to be all better?”
The four-year-old nods.
“How ‘bout you tuck her in? She’d like that.”
Her face visibly brightens. “Like a momma burrito?”
“Something like that. Don’t do it as tight, though. And be careful; you don’t want to get tangled up in all those wires and tubes. Careful and gentle, okay?”
Handing him her doll, she scurries around to Esme’s side of the bed; slipping her body between the machine and the IV stand and gingerly stepping over or slipping under various tubing and wires. Carefully spreading and smoothing the blankets over her mom’s body, then loosely tucking them underneath her. And a distinct sadness darkens her eyes and furrows her brow when she runs a palm over Esme’s hair and leans in to press a kiss to her cheek.
“I miss you, momma. I love you. You’ll feel better soon. I promise. Daddy and I will take really good care of you! Right, dad?”
Nodding, Tyler leans down to drop a kiss on the top of her head when she scurries back to his side; plucking the doll from his grasp.
“I’mma leave Posie here,” Millie announces, then proceeds to lift the top blanket and tuck her under it. “So she can keep an eye on mumma! And if mumma wakes up, she’ll see Posie here and know that I’m coming back for sure. ‘Cause I never leave Posie behind. Not for good!”
“You know, you have a really big heart in that little body of yours.”
“Momma always used to tell me that I got that from my daddy. That his heart was way bigger than his body, too. Is that really true? ‘Cause your body is super big!”
“Is that a polite way of calling me fat?”
“You’re not fat! You’re thick!”
He smirks. “I wonder where I’ve heard that before.”
“You’re like a giant! You’re really tall and crazy big! Do you think it’s true? What momma said? About your heart being bigger than your body? Because if it is, your heart is super huge!”
“You know what I think? I think your mum’s the most amazing human being I’ve ever known.”
“Next to me, right?”
“Yeah…” Scooping her up onto his arms, he presses pressing a kiss to her temple as he settles her on his hip. “...definitely next to you.”
*****
He relaxes in a poolside lounge chair; hair damp and matted to his head, his aching and tired body clad in a pair of board shorts bought during an impromptu shopping excursion with Nik and Millie. The latter fast asleep against his chest; snoring lightly, her eyes shielded by a pair of pink and purple polka-dotted sunglasses, her bathing suit -one of many she’d excitedly picked out- beginning to dry in the heat. Exhausted from the morning and early afternoon activities and the drama of the last seven days; the time spent in the sun and water solidifying her successful escape from New York City. Content and relaxed; confident that her old life is now firmly behind her and the new one is just lingering on the horizon. And despite the worry and sadness revolving around her mother’s injuries, she feels safe and secure; putting all of her trust into her surroundings and the people around her.
Nik joins them, standing at the side of his chairs with her hands shoved in the pockets of a pair of wide-legged, burgundy linen trousers and a pair of oversized sunglasses. A smile curling her lips as she glances down at a snoozing Millie.
“Out like a light.”
“She’s had a hell of a week. It was bound to catch up to her.”
“She doesn’t do that with just anyone. Fall asleep on them like that. Means she feels safe. Secure. She trusts you.”
“I’m not sure she’s making the right decision. Look what her mum’s trust in me got her.”
“What I said on the plane…about what happened…I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was blaming you.”
“That’s exactly what you meant for it to sound like. I know you, Nik; I know you don’t say shit you don’t believe. And you’ve never been one to pull punches.”
“I wanted an explanation. A reason. For how things went so wrong, so quick.”
“And I told you. They came out of nowhere. There’s no way I could have seen it coming. It just happened. And it happened THAT fast.”
“You didn’t hear anything? See anything? You..?”
“I was concentrating on driving. On getting us to the meet-up point. We’d just gone through all that fucking bullshit with Winston..”
“Which was probably weighing heavily on your mind. Probably had you on edge. Distracted.”
“...and all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. Get to you and Yaz and then to the airport. I thought the roads were clear; Wick had people blocking all the intersections, and you had eyes on things. Or at least I THOUGHT you did. Had you not pulled the guys early…”
“I thought you were in the clear. You were only three blocks away. I made a decision based on that. I did what I thought was best.”
“So did I. I did what I thought was best for Esme. To get her the fuck out of there. I had just gotten her away from Winston; all I had to do was get her to the airport and on that plane, and everything else was going to be easy. I trusted you to have the people in place. To have my six. And if I DID let my guard down, it’s because of that. Nothing else.”
“I admit, it wasn’t my best decision. I should have left them in place longer. Until we actually DID meet up. But…”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Nik. You’re beating a dead fucking horse. I’m tired, and I’m sore, and I’ve got a lot on my plate. I don’t need this, too. Can we just let it go? I think you fucked up, you think I fucked up. Can’t we leave it at that?”
“I think I deserve an explanation. Not as your friend. But as your boss.”
“And I’ve told you everything there is to know. There isn’t always an explanation or a reason, Nik. Sometimes, shit just happens. There’s nothing simple about this job. It’s not just black or white. And you of all people should know that. You…”
When Milliie whimpers in her sleep, his mood abruptly changes; the tension in his jaw and shoulders releasing, the brightness returning to his eyes. And he smooths a hand over her and down her back, his lips soft as they press against her brow. “It’s alright, Amelia. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
She heaves a long, content sigh, then nestles her face against his chest and shoves her thumb into her mouth. And for several minutes, he and Nik remain silent; his chin resting on the top of Millie’s head and his hand rubbing her back in smooth, slow circles.
Nik uses a fingertip to sweep wayward strands of hair off of the little one’s forehead. “She’s beautiful.”
“She is. Esme and I do good work.”
“You most definitely do. Although I’m not sure how much work Esme actually put in. I think her genes were completely absent that day. Millie looks just like you.”
“That’s an awful thing to say about my kid, Nik. That she looks like her old man.”
“You know how many times Esme has heard it? How many people think she’s just a nanny? No one ever believes they’re actually mother and daughter. Until Millie opens her mouth of course; she tells stories EXACTLY like her momma does.”
“All over the damn place.”
“The only two people I know who can go off in five different directions and never get back to what started everything off.”
“You know how many times Esme will start a story, only for me to never find out what the original point of it was? Too many to count.”
“It’s just part of who she is. That exuberance and that light that she’s managed to hold onto. I’ve never met anyone like her, you know. Not in this circle, anyway. I don’t know how she does it; holds onto that optimism and that brightness. Everything she’s been through…the things she’s seen and the things she’s done…all of that has been stacked against her. Yet she’s still…Esme.”
“She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known. How many people do you think would have stuck around on that bridge? For someone like me?”
“Not a lot.”
“Yet she did. For some reason. She wasn’t leaving me there. And she had every reason to, believe me.”
“She saw the potential. Things about you that no one else did. Or maybe you just never LET people see them. See YOU.”
“Maybe a bit of both.”
“Maybe…”
“Were you there? When she was born?”
Nik nods. “I was.”
He glances down at his daughter; taking a deep breath and then noisily clearing his throat. A vain attempt at pushing away the emotion that threatens to choke him.
"Tyler…”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being there. For Esme. I’m glad she wasn’t alone.”
“She asked me. If I’d be the one to go in with her. And regardless of what you think, I tried telling her; convincing her to call you and let you know you were going to be a dad. I told her there was nothing for her to be afraid of; you weren’t going to ignore her call or turn her away or question whether or not the baby was yours. That there was nothing she could ever do to make you hate her that much.”
“I didn’t hate her at all. I never did. I loved her. I never STOPPED loving her.”
“And that’s what I told her. That you loved her and missed her and were spending all your time looking for her. That if there was ever a time TO contact you, that was it; the baby was very close to being born, the nursery was done, and the name was picked out. I told her you would be on the next plane there; to be with her and see your daughter come into the world.”
“But…”
“She was scared. Of rejection. Because she loved you, and her heart couldn’t take it; if you wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. I told her that that would never happen, but…”
“She’s pretty damn stubborn.”
Nik nods.
“You know I never got to see that with my son, either? Him being born? I was in Iraq; on my second tour with SASR. We were located just outside of Mosul. Mia was pissed about it; she was already six months pregnant when I signed up to go, and she knew there was no way I’d be back in time. I tried to justify it; I was one of the commanding officers, and they needed all hands on deck. Now I realize it’s just who I was; I wasn’t capable of putting her first. And I probably never even should have tried being a family man. I just didn’t have it in me.”
“You were young. You’d already spent years devoting everything you had to the military. It becomes ingrained in you. The only thing that really matters. Believe me, I know.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I ever really wanted to be. A husband and a father. At least back then.”
“You were in love. And you wanted to make her happy. You were willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.”
“I was. In love. Or I thought I was, at least. Took me until I was thirty-five to figure out it wasn’t the real deal. I think I just settled. The same way Mia did. I wasn’t really her type; she’d always been into lawyers and politicians and businesses. I was just some guy in the army. I wasn’t anything special.”
“To her, you were.”
“Guess she just wanted something different. Someone a little more dangerous. Younger.”
“And you were there. Ready, willing, and able. And lonely.”
“I don’t know what I was. Stupid, for the most part. But I’d lived practically my entire life without a family; my mum was long dead, and I’d already cut my dad out of the picture. Mia was there. I liked being around her. Not that we actually spent a lot of time together, considering her career kept her busy, and I was always being shipped off to different places.”
“And then your son came along…”
“He just sort of happened. We didn’t plan on having kids. She wasn’t even sure she wanted any. I was just so caught up in thinking I was in love and had found my ‘happily ever after’ that I didn’t really give a shit if we had any or not. But things happened, and he came along, and I tried my best to be a good dad. We know how THAT turned out.”
“That one choice you made…that one mistake…doesn’t mean you were a terrible father. It doesn’t negate the good things, Tyler. Or the love you had…you STILL have…for your little boy.”
“It was a hell of a mistake, Nik.”
“Doesn’t change the fact you loved him. That you still do. Or that HE loved YOU.”
“I never thought I’d be a dad again. I had no plans to be one, that’s for sure. I’d already done that once, and it didn’t end well. And then Esme came along and everything changed. I changed. She made me want to be a different person. A BETTER person. She wasn’t like anyone else. I knew that right away.”
“I think she knew that same thing about you.”
“Once she stuck around after Dhaka, I knew that was it. That SHE was it. I don’t regret it, Nik. The way things happened. I know it was the wrong place and totally the wrong time, but I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t change a fucking second. I would take that bullet to my throat a hundred times if it meant I’d be with her.”
She blinks at his honesty.
“When we decided to get the house and started talking about getting married and having a family, I was terrified. Of being a husband and a dad again. I didn’t want to fuck it up. I’d already screwed over one wife; Mia deserved a lot better than I ever gave her. That’s when I told myself it would be different. That I’D be different. I’d be the man that Esme needed and wanted. That she deserved. I’d be a good dad. The one I never had. I would do everything right; I’d be there for my wife, and I’d put my family first, and I wouldn’t be a total fucking failure.”
“You were never a failure, Tyler. You…”
“I used to think about it. Esme being pregnant. Seeing her get bigger and bigger. Feeling the baby move. Making a nursery. Going to all the appointments. I was looking forward to it; going through all of that with her. I’d missed it all the first time, I wasn’t going to miss it again.”
“I know what you’re going to say. I know…”
“That was all taken from me. I never got the chance. I was ready and I was willing, and I was able, and it never happened. Sure, she got pregnant, and the baby came along. But I just didn’t get to know about it. I didn’t get to be part of it, did I.”
“Tyler…”
“I don’t hate you, Nik. Let’s get that out of the way. We’ve been through way too much together. Not to mention everything you did for me after Dhaka and everything you did for Esme and Millie. That you continue to do for them. I could never thank you enough; for keeping Esme safe and for making sure that she didn’t go through everything alone and that she and Millie were taken care of.”
“I don’t need your thanks. They’re my family. So are you.”
“Like I said, I don’t hate you. I might not like you very much right now…”
“And I deserve that. I know I do. But I don’t regret the choices I made. I don’t regret helping Esme or keeping her secrets. And I would do it all again. No questions asked. And I’m sorry if it hurts you to hear that. It was never personal, Tyler. I never did any of that to intentionally hurt you. And I DID try and convince her to contact you. Many times.”
“I really hope that’s true, Nik. That I don’t find out something completely different. Because that whole not hating you thing? That could change. I can’t make any promises.”
******
Nik settles on the lounge chair beside him, stretching out of her legs and setting her clasped hands on her stomach.
“It was a beautiful day.”
Tyler arches a quizzical brow.
“When Millie was born. It was sunny and cool, and the leaves were just starting to change.”
“Seems kinda fitting. That she came along when she did. It was always her mum’s favourite season; Esme used to go on and on about fall in New York City. About how she’d always take walks in Central Park; she loved seeing all the different colours and hearing the leaves crunching under her feet and how the air actually seemed fresh for a change. She made it sound incredible. Beautiful.”
“She has a knack of seeing things differently than we do. She holds onto so much trust and wonder; she sees the beauty in everything. And everyone. She could watch the same sunset a million times and find a million different things to marvel at. I used to tease her about it; almost scold her for being that way. For always seeing the cup as ‘half full’. But now that I think about it, wouldn’t it be better if we all saw it that way?”
“She’s just different, Nik. From what we’re used to. We’ve all been through hell and back. In one way or another. And somehow she’s still like that. I used to give her shit for it, too. Always said she was setting herself up for disappointment if she kept seeing the world like she did. Seeing the good in everyone no matter how shitty they treated her. Even told her how stupid it all seemed; that she was being naive and childish and she was just going to get hurt.”
“If anything…anyone…is a breath of fresh air…”
“I realize now that if she didn’t see things the way she did? Millie wouldn’t even exist. Esme wouldn’t have stayed on that bridge. Dhaka wouldn’t have happened the way it did. The things that went down between the two of us. She wouldn’t even have given me a second look. She would have just seen me as a huge mess. A liability. And moved on with her life.”
“I know you talk about how she came along when you needed it the most, but have you ever thought that maybe you did too? That you came along when she needed you to? Because despite all that light and that brightness and that love for the world and everyone in it, there was a very broken and lonely woman…little girl, even…under all of it. I would see it sometimes; this sadness that would just take over. When she’d just seem so lost and vulnerable and hurting. That changed. When she met you. I saw it in that hospital. All that time she was holding on and fighting for you, she was holding on and fighting for herself too. She wanted to be what YOU needed. And what you deserved.”
“She is way more than I have ever deserved.”
”But she doesn’t see it that way. She doesn’t see YOU that way. You came along, and you pulled her out of a really dark, horrible place. And I know it’s hard to see that when you’re in a pretty bad place yourself, but it’s true. The two of you found each other when you both needed it the most. She didn’t just save YOU, Tyler. You saved her too. In more ways than one.”
Swallowing around the lump of emotion sitting square in his throat, his fingers moving through Millie’s damp hair as he nods slowly, considering Nik’s words.
“I know you probably have a lot of questions. About the last five years. About Millie. Maybe even about before she was born. If there’s anything you want to ask or know about it or I can help you understand better…”
“How was it? The pregnancy? Was it really hard on her? Were there any complications? I mean, I assume everything went okay, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, but…”
“It was pretty uneventful. There were no scares. No real health issues. Yaz and I got a place in the city. We wanted to be close by; to keep an eye on her, make sure she was taking care of herself and that she got everything she…and the baby…needed. She was never alone, Tyler. Not physically, anyway. We were there when she needed us. Maybe too much at times. I’m sure we annoyed her a lot. I know I can be pretty assertive and overwhelming at times. And Yaz…”
“He’s always had a hard-on for her. I don’t think her being pregnant changed that. Knowing that little freak, it probably made it even better in his mind.”
Nik laughs. “Yeah, maybe. But it’s been harmless. He’s always known he doesn’t stand a chance.”
“I mean, she has bad taste in men, but it’s not THAT bad.”
“He was so into things. He loved the idea of being an uncle. He was constantly buying Miillie things; always showing up with toys and outfits and things Esme could put away until she was older. And when we found out it was a girl? He got even worse. That kid was going to be the biggest, most spoiled princess on earth.”
“Esme knew? That it was going to be a girl?”
“She didn’t want to know at first. She was pretty adamant about waiting. Letting it be a surprise. But she ended up caving. At the very last ultrasound. And low and behold, baby Rake was a little girl. We always called Millie that. By your last name. It might not be that on paper, but we talked openly about it. You were always on her mind, Tyler. There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t think about you. TALK about you. You may not have been there, but to Esme, that baby was just as much yours as it was hers.”
“I would have been there. If she’d called me out of nowhere and told me about the baby, I would have gotten on the first flight out of Australia. Nothing…no one…could have stopped me from being there. Not you, not Winston, not The High Table. No one.”
“And she knew that. Which is why she was determined NOT to tell you. I’m not saying she made the right decision. Or that I agree with how she handled things. But it was not my place to tell you. Especially about Millie. I couldn’t betray her, Tyler. Not even for you.”
“As hurt as I am, as PISSED as I am, I’m just glad she wasn’t alone. That people were there for her. I fucking hate I didn’t get the chance, but it’s never really about me, has it? It’s about her and Millie. Especially Millie. Always has been. And that’s the way it should be.”
“Esme was having that baby no matter what. Not once did she ever think about not having her. Let alone talk about it. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy and she was lonely and sad and missed you every second of every day. Millie was part of you. Her only connection to you. And there was no way she was giving that up.”
“She’s always wanted to be a mum. She talked about it a lot. When we lived in The Kimberley. About coming close with Mark and having that taken away from her. I don’t think she ever got over that. And I knew one day it would happen; she and I would get our shit together, and we’d start a family. I didn’t think it would happen this way, mind you.”
“She never stopped thinking about you, Tyler. Loving you. She talked about you all the time. About wishing you could be there. So, please…PLEASE…don’t ever think she didn’t want you in her life. Or Millie’s life. Because nothing could be further from the truth. That baby was all she had. Aside from Yaz and I, Millie was her only connection to you. And no one could take that away from her. She wouldn’t let them.”
“Did she ever talk about me to Millie?”
“Maybe not by name. But even she was just a tiny baby. Millie heard stories about you. And all good, believe me. Esme has NEVER said a bad word about you to that little girl. And she always promised that she’d take Millie to meet you; that one day they’d go to Australia and track you down and let you meet each other.”
“Esme had chances. She’s had four years, Nik. She…”
“She had to be ready. She had to get over all that fear and worry she had. I couldn’t force her to just stop being that way. We’ve already established how stubborn she is. But I’d be honest with her; I’d tell her that she needed to contact you and you had the right to know you were a dad. That you deserved to be part of Millie’s life. But other than that, there wasn’t much I could do.”
“What about when Millie was old enough to start asking questions? What did she tell her then?”
“She would tell Millie that her dad was a good person. A big man with an even bigger heart. That he lived far away and one day, they’d go and visit him. And that she loved him very much. She always would.”
His voice quivers with emotion. “I don’t even know what to say. What IS there to say?”
“I know it hurts, Tyler. What Esme did. Having your child kept from you. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling. But you need to know that it wasn’t done maliciously. It started with her wanting to protect you, then ended up being about wanting to protect herself.”
“From me? She didn’t need to protect herself from me. I’ve never been a threat to you. I have never hurt her. I’ve never raised my voice, let alone a hand to her. I never would. I’d kill myself if I ever got that way. If I ever laid even a finger on her in THAT way…”
“She was protecting her heart. She was scared, Tyler. That you’d turn her away. That you’d turn MILLIE away.”
“That would never…EVER…happen. No matter how pissed or hurt I was.”
“Rationally, she knew that. But fear…and love for that matter…don’t always have us thinking…or acting…rationally.”
Sighing, he glances down at Millie; running a fingertip down the bridge of her nose and then pressing a kiss to the tip.
“Would you like more?” Nik asks. “Kids?”
“I’d love more. I’d love to go through it all with her. I WANT that, That experience. With HER.”
“But…”
“But it’s kinda selfish, isn’t it? Wanting it for ME. She has to want it too.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that. Something tells me she’s on the same page. She loves being a mom. And she’s good at it. Damn good.”
“She’s an amazing mum. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for my kid.”
“You’re going to get your ‘normal’. Your ‘happily ever after’. It won’t be much longer now.”
He nods in agreement. “Thank you, Nik. For telling me all of this. I needed to hear it. Esme can say it all until she’s blue in the face, but hearing it from someone else?”
“It’s a different viewpoint. Coming from an outsider looking in. I just didn’t want you to think she never wanted you in her life, In Millie’s life. Because she did. She missed you, Tyler. Every second of every day. And believe me, I know she wishes she could change things. Go back in time and make different decisions.”
“I told her I wouldn’t want that. When you change one thing, you change everything. I believe that. And even if it were possible, I wouldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t risk a damn thing.”
Smiling, she reaches out and lays a hand on his shoulder, lightly squeezing. “It was never about her not loving you, Tyler. It was always about how much she DID.”
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mirkwoodshewolf · 11 months
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All we have; Thor x sister reader
*Author’s note*
So this fic took me some time but after a while I finally came up with how to come about this. To the anon who sent this all the way back close to the beginning of the year hope this story finds you and thank you for being so patient.
Warnings: ANGST!!! Events of infinity war, main character (death)? Reader was blipped, depression, denial. Sad Thor basically.
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Taglist:
@plethora-of-things​
@waddles03​
@psychosupernatural​
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​
@queen-paladin​
@gay-and-ready-to-cry​
@austynparksandpizza​
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*Thor’s POV*
Failure.  A feeling I never once felt before up until now. Even when I was banished by my father and lost my hammer, it was nothing compared to now.  My father, my home, nearly half of my people, my brother, and now—now my sister.
And only two of those things weren’t taken by the same person.  When Thanos came for us after Asgard was destroyed by Sutar in order to defeat Hela, we could only manage to send half of the people down to Earth before we were attacked, but even with those people safe the rest could not. Heimdell was one of my dear friends to die first after he used the last bit of strength to send Banner to warn the Avengers of Thanos.
My sister and I did our best but with him already in possession of the Power Stone, he had us badly outmatched and out strengthened.  Then he had Loki killed right before our eyes, the two of us helpless and could only watch as he snapped his neck.  For a brief moment I thought we were dead when our ship was destroyed but then we came across the Morons.  Led by a rabbit and his tree companion.
After getting Storm breaker forged for myself and my sister even obtaining a newly gifted gauntlets to harness her power of Starlight.  Next to me, I would say she’s the strongest Avenger (even though she never wanted to be one).  Her being the Goddess of the Stars, she is basically a star in human form with enhanced strength, speed, can fire star beams from her eyes and star bolts from her hands. That’s why some people on Earth called her ‘Star bolt’ or something along those lines.
Together we came to Earth with the rabbit and tree and we were on the verge of victory until Thanos arrived.  I had him, as did my little sister.  She fired with all her might as soon as he had completed the gauntlet and retrieved the last of the Infinity stones.  Then I used Storm-breaker to impale Thanos before he could do the snap.  I had shoved the blade of my newly forged axe into his chest, as deep as it could go and had the Mad Titan on his knees.
His final words were that I should’ve gone for the head, then he lifted the gauntlet and snapped his fingers as a bright light flashed before my eyes.  I had demanded him that he tell me what he had done when I saw the gauntlet burnt to a crisp, but the coward fled through a portal.  Next thing I knew, people were disappearing into dust.
“Brother?” I heard my sister say and when I turned to her I saw her clutching her stomach.  “I—I don’t feel so good.” I soon took notice of the same dusty flakes coming off of her.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no hey. Hey (Y/n) come here, come here little sister.” I held her together burying my face into her neck.  “You’re right here. You’re right here with me, yes? Just like the old days, the two of us together. We’re okay, we’ll be okay.” She smiled solemnly as tears glistened in her eyes.
“Goodbye brother.” She whispered.
“No, no there’s no goodbyes not for us. Please my little starlight, stay with me. I-I can’t lose you too!” but soon she faded away and all that was left was dust in my hands.
All of that happened just 4 weeks ago.  The week before, we found Thanos and hoped we’d use the stones to bring everyone back only to find out that he used them to destroy them.
Not wanting to hear anymore, I did what I should’ve done at that very day I lost everything. I went for the head.
After that, I couldn’t take it.  Numbness and emptiness overtook me.  What was life on Earth without my only family left? She was my little sister, she was my best friend, my guiding star.  From the day she was born, I made an oath to always watch out for her.
I had promised mother and father that I’d never let anything happen to her.  Before Loki came along, it was just the two of us.  We got into the worst sort of trouble, but she was always there to get us out of it using her charm and wit.  Thinking back now, that’s probably how Loki learned to be the silver tongue he came to be.
But now they were both gone.  Leaving me as the last of Odin’s children.
*Present day 4 weeks after Blip*
The humans were calling it The Blip.  After half of the universe had been snapped away, that’s what they called this tragic event.  Their governments and politicians trying to get the records of everyone around the world who had been blipped, trying to rebuild, but there was nothing I could do to help them.
“Hey Thor.” Banner’s voice spoke up.  I didn’t respond.  “I managed to locate Valkyrie and Korg. They said they’ve settled all the remaining Asgardians in a small town in Norway called Tønsberg.” I remained sitting in my chair looking out the window.  “Look buddy, I know that—things hadn’t been easy. But don’t you think your people need you? Or at least let them know you’re okay?”
“And what do I tell them? Hmm? Can you-can you answer me that Banner? When I go there the first thing they’ll ask me is where is…..” I stopped and brushed away the tears from my eyes.  No scratch that, not tears I just have something in my eye.
“I get it. I miss her too man. Your sister was—someone really special. Remember she helped me after I found out that I had been the Hulk for two years.”
“I helped too you know.”
“Yeah but not as much as she did.” I shook my head softly chuckling.
“Yeah she—she always did like helping those who needed it. The stars seemed to have dimmed without her here.” There was silence before I finally stood up and turned to Banner. “Thank you for finding them for me Bruce.”
“You gonna be okay pal?” he asked me.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine. I’ll be sure to keep in touch about how things are going.” I gave him a firm pat on the back before I took Storm breaker into my hands and flew off towards Norway.
When I got there, New Asgard was a small little town on the edge of some fishing docks where I saw the remaining few of my people all trying to rebuild our new home.  When they saw me, they bowed their heads but I didn’t acknowledge them.
“Hey Thor you’re alive!” up ahead I saw Korg, Meek and Valkyrie gathering up some kegs of beer. I walked up to them and hugged Korg (even though there was no emotion to said hug).
“Where’s (Y/n)?” asked Valkyrie.  I breathed heavily and asked her redirecting the question.
“How many of our people are left after the Statesman was attacked?” she looked at me skeptically but answered.
“We were just about to land our rescue ship when suddenly half of those that were saved turned to dust.” So even when half of the people managed to escape, they too were cut in half and Blipped away.  My sister’s escape plan for our people was in vain.
“Right well, you two continue doing what you were doing. I’m just going to uhh—” I took one of the kegs from Korg and walked off without another word.
I managed to find me a small cabin that hadn’t been claimed by anyone and decided that this would be my cabin from now on.  It was the furthest cabin than the rest of the village so thankfully no one should suddenly burst in on me.
I set the keg down before plopping myself down on the floor next to it.  I looked down at my wrist to see the old bracelet (Y/n) had made for me back when we were kids.  I took it off my right wrist and examined it.
It wasn’t much just made from the finest Asgardian thread and the jewels were of pure diamonds, rubies and a couple of emeralds.  In fact it was a sibling bracelet that she had made for all three of us. The ruby represented me, the emeralds were of Loki and she was the diamond.
I clenched it in my hand and raised it up ready to throw it as far as I could, hoping that it would be lost forever but something held me back.  My arm trembled before I brought the bracelet to my chest and held it over my heart as I felt tears falling down my face.
“I’m sorry (Y/n).” I wept.  “I’m so sorry little sister.” I continued to weep as the memories of my sister flashed through my mind like a film on constant repeat.
*1 month after The Blip*
I hadn’t really stepped out of my cabin since I had first claimed it.  I kept the windows shut and bolted, hardly any light really came into this cabin really.  Why should I deserve the light after my failure to kill Thanos? But I knew I had to step out because I had run out of beer from the keg I had taken a month ago.
So after restocking some more kegs, beer bottles, whiskey, tequila, whatever alcohol I could get my hands on at the time, I should be good for a couple of months or so, hopefully.  As I drank my fifth beer bottle a knock was heard at the door.
“Thor?” Valkyrie. “Thor come on open up it’s just me.”
“It’s unlocked as always.” I told her.  I heard the door open and she let out a cough.
“Geez what rolled up and died in here?”
“What are you doing here Valkyrie?” I asked her.
“Well our brewery ran out of whiskey and I figured only one person could be responsible for that so I came to collect some from you. Running this place is a lot harder than you think.” She said as she helped herself to some of my whiskey.
“Try dealing with keeping the peace of all nine realms on top of that.” I scoffed remembering after my first battle with the Avengers when I tried to keep the peace between the nine realms before father thought I was once again ready to take the throne.
“I can only imagine that. Definitely would take more than whiskey to take that hangover off.”
“Why have you really come Valkyrie?” she and I looked at each other and she said.
“To check on my friend who may I remind you hasn’t been outside in over a month except this past Tuesday to take most of our brewery.”
“I’ve told you as I have told everyone else, I’m fine.”
“Is that why you haven’t bathed in that time? No offense but you’re starting to smell worse than Sakaar.”
“Bathing is a lifestyle choice. If I choose the bathe or shower I will do so whenever I please.” She let out a heavy sigh.
“Thor, I know why you’re doing this.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do. Did you honestly forget why I went to Sakaar in the first place?” I remained silent. “Drinking my own problems away because I lost all my sisters including the love of my life. Who sacrificed herself to save me. You’re not the only one who lost someone you love. Take it from me, drowning your sorrows can only do so much, eventually the call to action will find you and you’ll have no choice but to get off your ass and fight.”
“Thanos is already dead, but even killing him didn’t bring anyone back. Much less bring her back. What call to action will there be?” I said brokenly.
“How about instead of focusing on the broken past? You help your people? They need a king.”
“No one needs me.” I sat down in my chair and turned away from her as I grabbed an old bag of Doritos and ate whatever was left in the bag.  I heard Valkyrie let out a heavy sigh before she left my cabin slamming the door.
Leaving me once again alone in darkness and solitude.
*6 months after The Blip*
‘It has been six months since the Blip when an alien wiped out half of Earth’s population. World governments continue to find an equal consensus but with the world still grieving can we truly move on? Our team has tried to reach out to any remaining members of the Avengers who have all but seemed to disappear from the public eye. Tony Stark aka Ironman has…..’
“Korg you mind shutting that blasted thing off? I thought we were going to begin Fortnite?” I told him.
“Sorry Thor. Just so you know I didn’t turn the channel to the news, it was just on there. Earth seems to have nothing but bad news to tell.”
“Yeah that’s all they really have to say these days.”
“Earth news is depressing.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” I muttered.  As we got the gaming system started up, Korg told me.
“Speaking of, there were reporters that came over the other day wanting to talk to you about the battle you had with Thanos back in that Wakanda place.”
“Hopefully either you or Valkyrie told them to screw off and to never come back here again.”
“Valkyrie took care of them. And she even called them some very nasty things.”
“And another good reason to put her in charge.” I muttered.  As the menu opened up and we picked our avatars we proceeded with the game.
“Just asking out of pure curiosity Thor, will there be a time you come out that doesn’t imply you stealing half of the brewery’s supplies? We really do miss you out there.”
“Who wants to go out when there’s a whole lot to do in here? You can’t get all these video game time out there? And here you don’t have to pay for any alcohol. Sure the cable’s a bit of a pain in the ass but what more could you want right here?”
“It does sound like a load of fun and a huge convenience but at the same time you might probably be doing all of this due to the loss of your sister.” I rolled my eyes and blew a nonchalant raspberry.
“These are just life choices, I can go out whenever I want to for whatever reason I want. My sister—” I trailed off thinking about her.
Just what would she say in this moment? How would she even react to seeing me like this? Most likely she’d be disappointed, she never did like it when either Loki or I got into one of our ‘moods’ (whatever she means by that).  Felt like she had been stuck in the middle and having to be the problem solver out of the three of us.
But now she’s just—she’s gone.  In all honesty, I’m glad she’s not here to see me like this.  Like I said, she’d most likely be disappointed that I’ve shut everyone out and refuse to do anything to help rebuild our new home.
“My sister isn’t even here. So why even try to speak as if she’s still here?” Korg remained silent. I took a deep breath in before exhaling and spoke in a more optimistic manner (or at least tried to anyway. I just wanted this conversation to be done.)  “Now then, let’s hurry and beat this round before that little douchebag Noobmaster69 logs on.”
“Yeah. I still can’t believe he called me a dickhead.” Korg said as we continued to play our game long into the night and even until the next morning.
*1 year and 4 months after The Blip*
Today seemed so empty. Much more so than any other day because today should’ve been a day of remembrance, of birth, a milestone for Asgardian Gods. Today would’ve been (Y/n)’s birthday, but just any ordinary birthday.  Today she would’ve been 1500 years old.  The big 1500.
She could’ve participated on her first ever hunting party and claim a prized boar to be eaten at a feast worthy of Valhalla, music and dancers, and at the end of the night the very stars themselves would dance for her (all thanks to her powers).  But there will be no hunt, nor song in her name, for she was one of the many who Blipped away.
I did, however, ask Korg whenever he came up for our annual video game binge to bring up a cake that I knew (Y/n) would love.  She always had a weakness for sweet treats, especially when we first came to Earth after Loki tried to take the Tesseract.  Boy was that a wild time when she went on that sugar craze and Steve had to coax her down from it but she refused to surrender her candy to him.
“Hey Thor, Meek and I are here and we brought the cake like you asked of us.” Korg’s voice called out.
“Bring it in here my friends.” They came in and there it was.  A three layered chocolate cake with dipped chocolate strawberries.
“So Thor is this another one of your monthly big dessert binges?” asked Korg.
“Not for myself.” I answered as I went over and dug through the drawers until I found some old candles and put them on top of the cake.  “You know, today would’ve been (Y/n)’s 1500th birthday. A big milestone in Asgardian culture.”
“Really? Is 1000 not worthy?”
“It is but it’s the 1500th that’s even bigger. Compared to Earth I’d say it lines with one’s 16th birthday. Where Earth teens can drive legally and all that fun stuff, in Asgard, when a god turns 1500 they are honored to lead a hunting party to find and skewer a prized boar. To be eaten at a feast worthy of Valhalla itself. Oh I remember my 1500th birthday hunt so well, I made (Y/n) my lead scouter and she dreamed of the day of her birthday hunting party.”
“Oh I see. And your sister, she liked chocolate?”
“Probably one of the few things she loved about Earth. Oh Korg you should’ve seen it. The first time she tried chocolate, I thought her head was going to explode.”
“Thankfully it didn’t otherwise how can one function without a head?” Korg said.  I lit the candles up and stared at them for a bit before blowing them out in honor of my sister.
“Happy 1500th little sister. If only I could’ve done more.” I then blew them out in her stand before taking them off the cake.
“She would’ve been happy either way Thor. Hunting party or no hunting party, she would’ve loved it either way.”
“You speak as thought my sister is still here.”
“She is. In a way. Though she is not here physically, she is all around us. Being the goddess of the stars, it’s like she’s still watching over us every night. At least that’s what the Earthlings say about her in their stories, right?” I shook my head chuckling icily.
“I appreciate the words of comfort Korg, but we all know the real truth. She’s gone, and there’s no way of bringing her back. And it’s all my fault.”
“Thor—”
“Sorry Korg, guess I don’t feel much like Fortnite tonight, sorry.” I started to walk off but I grabbed (Y/n)’s cake and left my cabin.
It was now nightfall and I had been standing looking over the cliff’s and the sea ahead.  I was at the last piece of my sister’s cake and I looked up at the stars that didn’t seem to shine as brightly as they used to. My heart felt heavy and tears built into my eyes and I wept.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you little sister. For anyone. It’s all because of me. It’s my fault. It’s my fault!” I stayed there for the rest of the night weeping under the very stars my sister once made shine.
Time just went by in a blur.  In fact time was irrelevant to me.  Only when I needed supplies like more alcohol did I ever show my face to my people. Valkyrie was proving to be a better King than I, I mean how can a King rule his people when he couldn’t even protect them? Let alone his own sister?
I was just—drifting at this point.  The only times I felt even the slightest bit of joy was video game nights with Korg and Meek.  Life may continue on, but I will always be burdened with the weight of my greatest failure and nothing was ever going to get me out of it.
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incorectly · 1 year
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✨ ✨Appreciation Post ✨ ✨
Dear Blogs that write for Black Readers x Austin Butler or any of his characters he’s played (Or any Black Reader x Any Person), Please don't stop writing, all of y'all’s work is some of THE BEST to be written, EVER. (I’ve been apart of ALOT of fandoms and have read a ton of work) None can compare, you make black women feel seen by making stories that are relatable to US.  (Even if it’s made up). So this is for you, I APPRECIATE all of you and all the time and dedication you put into your work, it does not go UNSEEN or OVERLOOKED, because if I come across your work I’m always liking and reblogging (I’m getting better at reblogging y’all’s work) because I’m always rooting for y'all even if your work isn’t getting the recognition it deserves. You are SEEN. 
Sorry for Rambling it was just on my heart to share
(Tagging a couple people who I think are amazing writers) (If I didn't tag you drop a comment I would love to see your work I’m always up to read more stories) 
@dulcewrites @mamasturn @infernalodie @that-one-anxious-mango @enchantinglyjade @chaeycunty @geminixevans-stan @mauvecherie-writes @syntheticavenger @afriendlyblackhottie @dramaqueeenamby @royallyprincesslilly @blackwomanwriter @jbrizzywrites
(Those are just a few from the Austin butler Fandom and Chris Evans Fandom (Although I need to read more of Chris Evans because I’m slacking, Austin has a tight grip on me) 
Love all of you.🤎
-Incorectly
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ferhlaufeyson · 2 years
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I wish there were more x male reader fan fictions with marvel characters
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madwomansapologist · 2 years
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Thor Odinson trying to win your love would include
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Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Thor Odinson | AO3
synopsis: Thor Odinson tries to make you notice him as more than a friend. Would he be able to do that?
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• Thor is a warrior. A god. The most powerfull being some species will have the pleasure to meet. Yet, that guy is a mess when it comes about you. Thor could easily impress anyone, but he want it so bad that it never works on you
• The warrior giant inside him and the mess of bad jokes are both affraid of taking the lead when you are around. If he wants to make you laugh then it probably gonna sound like some kind of threat. If he wants to appear strong than he gonna make you laugh
• Thor want to be a sweet guy. Thor wants you to look for him when you need comfort. He wants to be the one you go for when you need a great time. Thor want to have good moments with you. He want so bad to make you laugh
• But at the same time he wants you to see him as a hero. To drop your jaw because of something he did. To scream his name, blessing him with your voice, when he fight. Thor want you to go for him when you are affraid. He wants you to trust that he is going to solve your problems
• One time he tried to impress you with a little energy trick. Thor think he did amazing until he look at you and remind that hair and eletricity don't tend to work well together
• He is so confused around you. He want all those things at the same time and don't know what to do when your reaction isn't what he expect. Thor never had that kinda of problem before. He wants you, but don't know how to make you see that
• When he feel like you would never see him as more than a friend, he come to the most absolutely mess guy he knew that somehow end up with the person he love. Tony Stark was not happy to hear that, but he give him advices the same way
• First: Don't Be Dumb. Thor found that a really great advice. When he feel like doing something stupid he thinks twice and realize that well, midgardian don't have the same relationship with energy and that this would probably burn you. You would thank Tony if you knew that he was the one that make Thor show his powers at a secure distance
• Second: Flirt Friendly. That make him confused but Stark explain that if he don't want to loss the friendship between you both than he should flirt in a way that confused you if he is really flirting or just being friendly. Thor tried that, unknowing that for you it was obvious that when a guy spend so much time looking at you, friendly is not a good choice of words
• Third: Show Interest. Thor didn't knew how he couldn't be interest onto you, but he say nothing. It was simple: pay attention. Listen to what you said, understand what you like, be cool around your friends. Sometimes he makes mistakes and think that he messed up everything, but then you smile and suddenly everything is fine
• Forth: Don't Be Dumb. Tony repeat that a few times. Maybe not so few.
• Thor would try to be romantic. He would bought flowers. Not roses, only sunflowers. He would cook dinner for you, it wouldn't be great but he would. Thor does protect you and gets better at his attemps to impress you. Fixing your car with his powers was something he did a few times and your face made his eyes melt
• Thor may not be the best on fighting his own feelings, but he would do anything to make you smile. Little did he know that you like him that way
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Feedback/reblogs would be greatly appreciated! Support your content creators! Likes are appreciated, but comments and reblogs are golden!  
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
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Good Girl - A Chris Hemsworth/Reader Smut Drabble.
Gah! Sorry it’s late, I’m on my break at work and dedicating time to trying to finish these in amongst the chaos of my life (I legit want to superglue myself to the chair so I don’t have to go back to work, it’s that busy right now, haha!) but here, for my lovely, kind, supportive and all round awesome person @youflickedtooharddamnit​! 
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Warnings - Smut below the cut! Minors DNI!
Words - 334
Every last inch in, bottoming out, every last inch out, teasing your gently pulsing opening, making your squirm and beg, a hard snap of his hips sending him quickly back against your very depths, the slow drag of retreat causing sparks to flicker through your core. Hard thrust in, slow drag out, oh, how he plays you, but when the game is this steeped in lust, you’re more than prepared to allow him.  
His eyes, like cool fire, watch you as he fills your centre again, arrowing you, your soaking folds forcing a grunt from his throat, his hands running over your hot skin, muscles twitching beneath the stroke of his fingertips.  
He is the sexual splendour you’ve always fantasised about, the human embodiment of erotic perfection, stroking your walls so deftly, so deeply, the power behind him barely contained, his mouth raining kisses across your flushed chest, tongue seeking your nipples, circling slowly, slowly.  
Adding a little more speed to each teasing thrust, he begins to stoke the bonfire of your pleasure, your flames crackling, feeling unmoored entirely, your cunt flexing in appreciation of his assailing, the girth of him igniting you with the delicious stretch as you sheathe him, crying out, his hands bracketing your waist. Something within him breaks at hearing your shrill wails, and he begins to pound into you with unmatched ferocity, giving you all that you craved, his self-control abandoned, his deep groans intoxicating to your ears.  
“Look how good you take it. Mmmm, yes. You're my good girl.”
Everything is wild, fervid, uncontained and magmatic, both of you spiralling headlong into the kind of release that has your moans and groans filling the air along with the sound of your skin smacking together, an undoing of all-consuming magnitude charging through you, your nails dragging down his chest, while his fuck renders you a shaking, panting mess beneath him.  
“Yes, I am your good girl, aren’t I?” you quip, raising an eyebrow, your lover laughing softly.
“Always, baby.”
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darknight3904 · 5 months
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The Monster and The Lady
Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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Happy Loki Season 2 Finale! As my gift to you here's the chapter a day early! ( The finale was amazing and it ripped my heart out and stomped on it.)
Asgard 2011
Astri was polishing her sword when Loki barged into her chambers. 
   "Remember the conversation we had about knocking, Loki?" She asked without looking up 
His lack of response got Astri to look away from her work. Loki was sitting on one of the large pieces of furniture that decorated her room. All of his attention was on his hands as he stared at them. 
   "If you're upset about what happened to Thor, I'm sure he is fine on Midgard." She said moving to sit next to him. "They love him there."
   "Stay back," Loki said, his deep voice suddenly scaring Astri. It was the same tone he often used when speaking to enemies in battle. It was intimidating, mean, and cold, and Astri hated everything about it.
She crossed so that she was sitting across from him, the small table felt like it was keeping her miles away from him. Loki's eyes looked red and swollen as he kept them focused on his hands. 
   "You've been crying." Astri observed, "What happened?" 
   "Nothing I can't handle." He lied.
   "It doesn't seem that way? Do you want some tea? We can talk about it, I'll send for Drifa." Astri offered gently
   "I didn't come here to talk," Loki said 
   "Then why are you here and not in your chambers?" Astri pushed, she knew he didn't just come here to sit, he had something he wanted to get off his chest. 
   "I don't want to be alone." He said, looking up, "You're the only thing that makes sense in this damn palace." 
Okay...progress. But he definitely had something else he wanted to say, Astri would take that for now. 
   "You don't have to worry. I won't be going anywhere, I'll stay here with you." Astri assured knowing her words were anything but lies.
   "You won't want to once you know though. That's what scares me." Loki said softly 
Astri wanted to reach across the table and hold his shaking hands but his harsh tone from earlier kept her grounded in her seat, hands folded neatly in her lap. The doors opened to her chambers and two guards walked in. 
   "Lady Astri, the queen summons you." The one on the right said. 
Astri wondered what could be amiss as she walked quickly through the halls. Loki was uncharacteristically a few paces behind her and dead silent when the guards directed them to Odin's chambers of all places. Frigga seemed frazzled and uncomposed when Astri saw her next to the Allfather. It was strange seeing her so distressed when she normally seemed to have everything under control. 
   "Astri, Loki." She stood and greeted them both with warm hugs. Loki's stiffened posture didn't go unnoticed by Astri. 
   "What happened?" Astri asked eyeing Odin's sleeping form 
   "He has fallen into the Odinsleep. It was too sudden this time. I fear he might not wake this time." Frigga said sadly 
   "He is strong, Frigga. I'm sure he will wake again soon." Astri said placing a warm hand on her mother figure's shoulder. Was this what Loki wanted to tell her? Did he cause this? The way he was acting made it seem worse than this. Odin had fallen to Odinsleep many times in the past.
The doors opened abruptly to reveal what had to be a full platoon of soldiers on the other side. When Loki turned to them they all bent their knee to him. One came forward and presented Loki with Gungnir, the spear Astri rarely saw Odin without. 
   "My king, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three request an audience with you." He said once Loki had taken it from him
Astri felt her face pale when she realized what was happening. Loki seemed to have a similar reaction but quickly recovered and nodded to the man. 
   "I'll meet them in the throne room," Loki said, dismissing him and his fellow soldiers. 
   "Loki..." Astri said, reaching out to grab his hand. She didn't know what she was going to say just that she didn't want him to leave her. 
   "Stay here. With my mother." Loki said, pulling his hand away from her reach 
   "But I want to-" 
   "Stay. I'll send Drifa to bring you those cakes." Loki cut her off 
   "Is that an order...my king?" Astri asked, the words felt bitter in her mouth. 
   "Yes." He hissed before turning on his heel and leaving the door. 
   "Come sit with me, darling." Frigga beckoned to her.
⋆⭒˚。⋆
Loki kept his word and sent Drifa with Astri's favorite cakes. They were delicate little lemon-flavored things with soft powdered sugar on top. Beyond the cakes, he had also sent her the book she had been reading for the past week along with tea and a book for his mother. Even when he was upset, he was looking out for them.
   "What's on your mind?" Frigga asked, moving her eyes from Odin's form.
   "Nothing." Astri sighed 
   "Remember when I told you your mother and I were raised by witches?" 
Astri nodded. 
   "That means I can see with more than eyes. Now, why is my son troubling you?" She asked 
How does she always know what's wrong?
   "He seemed very distraught before you summoned me here. I know it could have just been Odin's condition but it seemed to be more than that." Astri confessed, "He kept staring at his hands too, and wouldn't let me sit next to him which you know he always does." 
   "I think it's best if I let him tell you what's wrong," Frigga advised suddenly looking away.
   "But you just asked me to tell you-" 
   "When Odin fell asleep, He and Loki were discussing...matters in the weapons vault. Loki told me what happened." Frigga explained, "But, it is not my place to tell my son's secrets to the world." 
   "But it's not the world. It's just me." Astri reasoned 
Silence passed and Astri could tell Frigga was thinking about something important.
   "Go to him. If he gets upset tell him he can whine about it to me." Frigga smiled
Astri groaned but stood up and went to the door anyway. 
   "You're sure you'll be ok alone?" She asked looking back at Odin. 
   "I have lived for thousands of years, darling. I will be alright." She smiled gently
Astri nodded before quietly slipping out the door. The walk to the throne room was incredibly brief. Perks of being the Allfather, your bedroom is closest to the most important room in the castle. 
Loki's armor was complimented by the large throne. The green he normally donned made him look more regal as his golden helmet shone when the light hit it. 
   "Lady Astri. I thought I ordered you to stay with my mother." 
  "And I thought you weren't an uptight jerk with a stick up your ass," Astri responded 
Loki's sharp gaze snapped to her and she stared up at him defiantly. He might be king now but she knew he'd never do anything to harm her. 
   "Leave us." He ordered the guards in the room 
Astri watched him slowly descend from the throne almost as if it was for dramatic purposes. King of Asgard? More like King of Dramatics.
   "What are you doing?" Loki asked, annoyed
   "I wanted to talk to you," Astri explained 
   "That doesn't mean you can call me names like that in front of others." Loki scolded "I'm acting king now." 
   "The guards do not care what names the king's childhood friend calls him. I bet some of them are old enough that they saw the time you and Thor went running through the castle naked." Astri smiled 
   "Stop it," Loki demanded, looking around to see if anyone had entered the room
   "I'll stop when you talk to me." Astri said, "Do you think any of them remember the time you went crying to Frigga after you had a nightmare from the scary story Thor told at that sleepover we had with Volstagg?" 
Loki snapped his fingers in her face before she could think of another embarrassing childhood moment of his. 
   "Alright. We'll talk. Just stop saying crazy things." He said 
   "Crazy? All those things happened Loki. Just like the time you farted in front of that gorgeous boy, you tried charming who was visiting from Xandar with her family." She laughed 
Loki's face had grown red as he gestured for her to follow him. 
   "Not another word about me as a child," Loki ordered 
   "The fart incident was 200 years ago. You were already fully grown at that point." She pointed out 
   "I'll cut your hair again," Loki said as they reached his chambers
Astri giggled as she sat down on his bed and gestured for him to sit next to her. 
   "I'll say here." Loki declined still several feet from her 
   "I'm not going to bite you you know," Astri said
   "I just...don't want to hurt you." Loki softly said, piddling with his hands, a gesture Astri noticed he had down since they were children.
   "You won't. Just...tell me what's wrong. I'll help you fix it. I promise." She sincerely said 
   "You can't. I can't. No one can." Loki said looking away from her and at his shoes 
   "How do you know? What's even wrong anyway?" Astri asked 
   "If I tell you, you'll be scared of me," Loki said quietly
   "I won't. Nothing you do will ever scare me." Astri swore
A soft beat of silence passed over the room as Astri wished Loki would look up at her. 
   "I am a monster. A relic Odin kept here until he had a purpose for me." Loki said 
   "You're not a monster," Astri assured, standing and crossing the room so she was close to him again. 
   "You don't understand...I'm...one of them. One of those monsters who we've been told frightening stories about since we were children. I am a Frost Giant. The monster who Asgardian parents tell their children to be frightened of when they misbehave. I was nothing but a bargaining chip to Odin. Another object in this castle that represents his conquest over these Nine Realms." Loki said angrily, words cutting across the air like knives, as he finally looking her in the eyes 
   "What do you mean you're a Frost Giant?" Astri asked slowly, surprised at his speech.
Loki led Astri through the castle as he told her the story Odin had told him merely hours before. She stayed silent the whole time, absorbing what came from his mouth. Loki couldn't tell what was worse, her silence or what she might say about who he was. They reached the weapons vault quicker than he would have liked and soon were standing in front of the Joutun's casket. 
   "I will show you." He said, barely trusting his voice 
    "You don't have to. Let's go back to the library and read together." Astri said reaching for him again.
Loki ignored her request and placed his hands on the casket again. An indescribable coldless tingled through his body and he watched his hands turn blue once more. He felt it spread across his body and felt the soft facial lines that all Frost Giants bore rise from his skin. When he was sure he had held it long enough, he turned back to his dear Astri, awaiting her judgment.
   "I understand if you want to leave," Loki said
Astri was silent as her eyes roamed across him. Her light brown eyes we taking in every inch of blue skin that Loki had exposed to her and when she was finally done looking she opened her mouth.
   "I don't care." She said
   "What?" Loki balked, feeling his skin begin to change again
   "I don't care what you are. Tomorrow you could show me you're actually a dragon with wings the size of me and I'd still stay by your side. What matters to me is that you're Loki. I don't care if you're blue." Astri said finally taking his hands when they had gone back to normal.
   "Why?" He asked, closing his eyes and savoring how his hands felt in his. 
   "Because you're important to me," Astri said pressing her forehead to his "No one knows me like you do, and no one ever will." 
No spoilers to the finale but I have never felt more devastated yet fufilled by a Marvel project ever. I don't think I've been this distressed since I watched Infinity War and had to watch Loki die and then 2 hrs later watch Peter "die" in Tony's arms.
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topmalereaderblog · 8 months
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Normal Rant (simping) //
Bruce Wayne, Jake Sully, Tony Stark, Peter b Parker, könig, Norman bates, Patrick Bateman, Din Djarin, Dick Grayson, Clark kent, Henry Cavill, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Oscar Isaac are all men I want to fuck 😫 like I swear day by day I become obsessed the things I would do to these men.
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perseephoneee · 2 months
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𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓘
In which, you, a lady of the ton, are forced to participate in courting season. Except that courting season comes with one particularly silver tongued Prince who is making it his mission to drive you absolutely insane.
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There was a sense of melancholy in the air, as there always was around courting season. Loki Laufeyson always looked forward to the season ending so he didn’t have to endure his father’s disappointing stare any longer. (Find a nice girl to settle with. Fulfill your divine purpose)
Currently, Loki is spread on the chaise lounge in the living room. The book in his hands was one on botany. Not because he had any genuine interest in it— he just needed anything to distract himself. It was at this moment his brother entered. 
"The season is starting," Thor stated, fixing his sleeves as he boasted a bright smile. "We'll see what society offers." Loki ignores him, continuing to read. Thor walks over and takes the book out of Loki's hand. 
"Do you ever listen to me?"
"Only when you're interesting," Loki winks, sitting up with a heavy sigh. He stretched his neck, sitting up like a cat as Thor, with his ever-glowing smile, sat down next to him. 
"I have a good feeling," Thor chimed. Loki suffered an eye roll, being subjected to the same thing Thor has participated in yearly. Supposedly, the Queen met with all the girls today to determine the Diamond of the Season. Then, later in the week, the first ball would be held. Time spent where Loki yearned for more substantial conversation and less pleasantries. He could be charming if he wanted to be, but most of the tone was dreadfully dull. 
Luckily, you felt the same way. 
Waiting to be presented to a woman who had never met you did nothing to quell your nerves. Indeed, it was embarrassing for your ego to watch a woman turn her nose up at your countenance as everyone else watched. How your sister had endured the past two seasons was beyond you. 
You had talked your grandmother out of using feathers in your look because even if you didn't care much about finding a husband, you refused to resemble a pigeon in public. Instead, you wore your hair half up and pinned away with a jewel-encrusted pin. Your gown was simple, but your gloves exasperated the sweat on your palms. You envied men and the ability to wear trousers. 
When it was your turn to walk through the double doors and make eye contact with the Queen, you resisted the urge to grimace. Already, you could see chatter amongst the ton as you slowly walked up to the dias where Her Majesty sat. Her curious, calculating eyes watched your every movement. One of the women standing on the side, Lady Page (a snooty gossip, as your Grandmother claimed), looked at you with such distaste that you couldn't find the urge to send her a wink. The tiny gasp she let out was worth the lashing you'd experience from your grandmother later. 
The Queen didn't look amused, but frankly, she never did. You broke into a curtsy as you reached the end of the walkway, averting your eyes out of politeness. 
"What's your name?" The Queen inquired, lips pursed. 
"Miss Y/N Chilton, Your Majesty," you responded, keeping your posture straight as your grandmother ordered. The Queen glanced towards Lady Page, a hint of a smile on her lips. She may have a sense of humor. She nodded your dismissal, and you made as quick of an exit as you could.
You (thankfully) were not named Diamond the Season. Your Grandmother contributed your "obnoxious" behavior to that decision, but you couldn't care. You already have to suffer through an entire season; you didn't also want to deal with the pressure that being a Diamond entailed. 
The first event arrived sooner than you wanted. Ivy insisted on helping you get ready, citing your “total blindness for fashion” as a desperate call for help. You weren’t blind to fashion; it wasn’t your top priority. 
“I wish you’d wear periwinkle more; it’s such a lovely color on you,” Ivy sighed as she messed with your hair. She had dressed you in a short-sleeved periwinkle gown with gossamer pleats and tiny embroidered Lily of the Valleys. It wasn’t too obnoxious, which you appreciated. She was curling your hair to a cascade of locks on top of your head. 
“I wear periwinkle,” you sigh, opening and closing cases of rouge on top of the vanity.
“You’re so pretty, you know?” Ivy took a star-crested pin, clipping it into place. “You’ll find a husband in no time.”
“I don’t want a husband.”
“Yes, you do,” your sister sighed, patting your shoulders. She had made you look ethereal so unlike yourself. You had tendrils framing your face, sparkles clipping the rest of your hair away. You looked effortless in a way you didn’t feel. “You just don’t want a typical husband. You want someone who’ll see and appreciate your brain more than anything else.”
You placed a hand on top of your sisters, tears beading in your eyes. She was always so kind and knew you so well. She deserved a husband, not you, but she was flighty and a bit of a klutz in a way men found annoying and not endearing. You wished for her to find a prince and nothing else.
“Will Grandmother be mad if I bring a book to the function?” You whisper, a sly smile on your lips. Ivy lets out a wholehearted laugh, helping you up. 
Your Grandmother was already waiting outside, with a tight-lipped look at your “tardiness.” You just rolled your eyes, climbing in after your sister and clasping your hands uneasily on your lap. Even if you didn’t care, social situations still made you nervous. 
Lady Danbury was holding the ball, a grand affair everyone discussed. Footman received carriages with top-tier manners, and the inside of the event was decked in silver drapes, twinkling white lights, and an assortment of champagnes. You almost tripped on your skirts down the stairs, receiving your card from a chuckling servant. When your Grandmother wasn’t looking, you filled out the card so no men would ask you to dance.
Ivy was in her element as she floated between families, making conversation. It was too many people all at once. Still, you smiled to yourself, maneuvering out of the room and finding an alcove outside on the terrace. It was too stuffy inside, too many bodies twirling around each other. The outside had enough chill to soothe your warmed skin but not too cold to give you goosebumps. You found a bench and perched yourself on it, hiking up your skirts to cross your legs. You preferred reading outside anyway. It was a reminder of the outside world. It’s easy to get lost in your head, which is precisely what you did.
“Do most ladies hide outdoors with their nose in a book?” A voice asked, stirring you from your thoughts. You looked up to observe a man, arms crossed, an eyebrow cocked in amusement. He was dressed in emerald green, which complemented his eyes. 
“Do most gentlemen spy on unassuming women?” You narrowed your eyes, putting your bookmark in your book and closing it.
“Such cheek from a lady of the ton,” he smirked, stepping towards you. “Weren’t you raised with manners?”
“I never claimed to be,” you blinked, all doe eyes as if playing the part of delicate lady and not utterly defiant granddaughter. 
“Why aren’t you enjoying the festivities?” He inquired, moving to clasp his hands behind his back. 
“I could ask you the same question.”
“I asked you first.”
“I don’t like dancing,” you answered sincerely. He just looked at you with amusement in his eyes. He found your defiant nature funny, aggravating you more than it should. You were about to respond with a retort, but you were again interrupted by another baritone voice. 
"Brother! I've been searching for you," a man said, emerging from one of the doorways with a charismatic smile. He looked nothing like his brother. While your intruder was all lean limbs, raven black hair, and a sarcastic smirk, this new man was personified by muscle and masculinity. The comparison ended with them being both devilishly handsome. "Are you harassing this fair lady?" he asked, gesturing towards you. 
"Yes, he is; he's quite annoying," you smiled, enjoying the exasperated eye roll you earned. 
"Loki tends to get that reaction from people," the man chuckled. "I am Thor Odinson, and you are...?" 
"Y/N Chilton," you bowed your head politely. Thor took your hand, kissing the back of your knuckles. You knew the Odinsons, one of the most revered families in the ton. And you happened to be verbally sparring with one of them. Your grandmother will kill you if you discover your irreverence. 
"Lady Chilton, I see your dance card is already occupied," Thor gestures to the slip of paper attached to your wrist. "Otherwise, I would've invited you for a dance."
"I filled it out myself," you admit bashfully. "Anything to avoid participating." 
Thor let out a hearty laugh at that. 
"Very clever," Loki tutted, and you sent him a pointed glare that furthered his amusement. 
"Would you care to join me for a waltz, Ms Chilton?" Thor asked, extending his hand. You took it gratefully. 
"It would be my honor," you bowed, taking your book with you as Thor whisked you inside. You had half a mind to turn around and wave brattily at Loki, but when you looked back, he was already gone.
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