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mysticprofessoralienhumanoid · 3 years

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A Daminette Penpal AU - Continuation

Continuation of this post

@ab-unreachablevoice @startouchedqueen1318 @lovemidnighteclipse12 you asked, I deliver.

Now, I want all of you to know this AU was made in a spur of moment. I’m totally winging it rn.

So obviously before the akuma class goes to Gotham, the months of texting have to have passed.

For Damian, those months are hell, because not only does he have to hear Jon’s gushing about his awesome penpal, but he has to endure Lila’s lies and her stories that keep only getting more ridiculous as the time passes too.

And it better be fucking worth it, because you have no idea how close he’s to flying to Paris and finally putting his assassin’s skills into use.

I mean, look at this!

Lila: HI Damian!!!! ❤💖💕💋💞

Damian, cringing at his phone: Yes?

Lila: How r u????

Damian, who absolutely hates when someone types like that: Have been better

Lila: Would u like to maybe video chat???? I could tell u about my trip to Achu !!!!!

Damian, a little shit™: Did “u” know that using more than three (3) exclamation (!) and question (?) marks means “u” may have a personality disorder? Maybe that’d explain the amount of lies “u” like to spew so much.

(Oof-)

[Message read. This user is offline.]

I’m convinced that if Damian knew how to use gifs, he would 100% use a lot, and I mean a lot, of cat gifs (honestly, animal gifs in general).

Lila: Hi Dami!!!! (She doesn’t learn, okay.)

Damian: I hope you can understand the message.

She can.

Lila: Hi dami. Can I call u Dami???

Damian: No.

Lila: I had so much fun this weekend Dami!!!! I went to Brazil Turns out Chris Pratt is filming a new movie there. Anyway, he recognized me and we started talking. His so much fun!!!!!! 🥰🤩😍😍🎉🎉

Damian: Fascinating. Please do not tell me more.

Damian: And it’s “he’s”, not “his”.

Heh.

Lila: Hiii Damiii

Damian: I literally hate you so much-

[Message not sent]

Lila: Dami????

Lila: ....

Lila: Um, Damian? U there????

[Message not read]

You have no idea how, much fun making these is-

Oh, and imagine, just imagine, if Lila told him about situation in Paris.

Lila: Sorry for texting you so late, damiboo. Got caught up in an akuma attack.

Damian, who by now is replying just to humor her (plus his father forced him): A what?

And then Lila starts explaining the situation in Paris. Of course, she adds a few stories about how she was akumas’ target or how she helped Chat Noir (weirdly she doesn’t talk much about Ladybug). It’s that one of really rare times she’s not lying (well, not that much). And how Damian reacts to it?

Damian, Done with Lies™: Do you ever stop lying? Because this, all of this, is absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

Cue Lila wishing she didn’t bullshit as much as she did Damian was just a little more gullible

Anyway.

I don’t know if you remember, but in the first part I said Damian ditched Lila for Marinette (but let’s be honest, wouldn’t we all?).

To clear things up, I kinda wanted the GA students to accompany their penpals throughout their time at school. It’d be nice, right?

So the scene is:

The principal has just announced that GA students have to keep company their penpals while they’re at the GA establishment. Lila’s feeling victorious, this is her chance to get her claws in Damian and his money- I mean, to get to know her lovely penpal. Yeah...

Lila, walking up to Damian, while trying to appear sexy and shy at the same time, and failing at both: So, shall we?

Damian, ostentatiously glancing at her before going to Marinette: Bye

Now, to spice things up, I decided imma get them caught up in a rouge attack/attacked by a rouge.

So somewhere a week in their stay, akuma class is held hostage by one of the Gotham’s criminals.

Because this is Gotham, y’all. You can’t be in Gotham and NOT get attacked some way or another. It’s impossible.

[Choose your villain. I have badass Marinette though, so we all know the winner here]

The moment it starts, Damian slips away and changes into Robin.

Meanwhile:

The class is screaming and panicking.

Lila is probably in the middle of a panic attack.

Marinette’s assessing the situation before striking.

The moment Robin arrives, he gets to witness Marinette, the sweet cinnamon roll Marinette, kicking ass and taking names. Adorable. He thinks he’s in love (and he so is).

Bats come. And they’re met with the dude dealt with and trembling in fear of a petite girl with pigtails, who’s standing next to him and a lovestruck Robin staring at said girl.

A sight to behold, truly.

Also, what if Damian accidentally texts Lila instead of Marinette after the attack? And Lila is so happy, because she thinks her plan’s finally working. But ohoho, does Damian have surprise for her.

Damian: Are you sure you’re okay? The attack was really dangerous, You’re sure you’re fine?

Lila, thinking ‘yes, fucking finally. Almost thought you have no feelings’ : Oh, it was so scary !!!!!! 😱😰😨😨😨 [just hella lot of emojis. She seems like that kind to me] I was absolutely terrified!!!! I’m just glad that it’s all over. After the attack Robin came up to check up on me. He even flirted with me, i think he likes me... Too bad I already like someone else 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lila: But don’t worry, dami!!!! I’m a little shaken up, but overall okay. But if you want to we can facetime so you can make sure I’m not injured ;*

Damian, having to physically restrain himself fro throwing his phone against the wall: ...

Damian: Fuck.

Damian: Wrong number.

Lila: ಠ_ಠ

---------

And of course I’m involving Twitter. Who do you think I am?

At first it was one of of his siblings who posted a post about how he’s seething at his phone, probably his penpal texted him something again.

But do you seriously thing Damian would pass such an amazing opportunity?

Haha.

No.

He immediately posts his follow up and it goes downhill from here. He adds shit ton of tweets about her, making Lila famous (and she doesn’t even know she is).

People don’t know whom to pity more; Damian, for having a horrible and lying penpal, or said penpal, for having an enemy in the Ice Prince of Gotham?

The hashtags #IcePrince’sPenpal #PenpalNightmare #MenaceOfAPenpal are created and are trending every day.

Many say it’s the most active he’s ever been.

---------

Lila is not stupid in this, okay? A pathological liar and a manipulator, yes, but for that you need brain and she has one. Much to Damian’s surprise. And yeah, sometimes she lets her imagination get the best of her, but she’s cautious enough and has proof to often back her up.

She knows she screwed up. Her penpal doesn’t believe her and isn’t scared to call her out.

Due to him bluntly uncovering her lies, some of the classmates see through the blinds she’d put on their eyes and get suspicious of her.

If you have mercy on them, make them come to Marinette and apologize.

...

Yeah, I’m not doing that.

The class sticks to Lila’s version of every story and they don’t believe Damian is THE Damian Wayne, even when a fricking limousine drives up to the school and a butler comes out of it.

---------

Random notes and ideas that don’t really have any sense or anything tbh, but I had them so there you go

About the attack, obviously the school has to inform the parents, right? But, if you're salty enough, you can, oh i don't know, make bustier and/or Damocles not inform them thus creating even more problems for them in the near future. (Yes, i hate bustier and damocles with passion, they’re enablers and Damocles is a gold digger tbh)

One day the french class is at a random restaurant (I’m honestly tempted to put them in Red Robin just for my own entertainment) when the Wayne brothers come in. They recognize them and Lila sees the opportunity, so she goes up to them.

Lila: Hiii Damiii!!!! [Yes, I know this is a real life conversation]

Damian, just done with her: Ugh, not you again.

Tim just kinda glances at her and decides she’s not worth his time.

Jason: What the fuck do you have on your head?

Dick: Oh, Damian, is this your crush or the penpal you despise so much?

Damian: The latter. And i do not have a crush

Lila, who totally stopped listening after she heard “crush”: That’s me!!!!

[Silence]

Damian: Marinette’s over there. Let’s go.

Lila: ;_;

Yeah, it sucks to be Lila.

[I thought I posted this a month ago. I didn’t. What the hell]

#Daminette #damian x marinette #damian wayne #maridami #mlb class salt #lila salt #penpal AU #damian hates lila with burning passion #honestly same #badass marinette #Marinette deserves better #lila ross

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cafffine · 3 years

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What did Anthony Mackie do?

he said this in an interview about the idea of queer sam/bucky head canons:

It’s just really badly worded and comes off as kinda disrespectful to queer fans, especially bc we already knew we weren’t getting any queer rep in fatws. But also this tweet comes without context and?? why was he asked about this in the first place?? And tbh there’s literally scarjo and chris pratt right there in the mcu being openly racist and homophobic, there’s no reason to freak out on mackie over something pedantic like this, the whole situation just sucks

[ID: A tweet from Variety magazine with a quote by anthony mackie reading “It used to be guys can be friends, we can hang out, and it was cool. You would always meet your friends at the bar, you know. You can’t do that anymore, because something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves” End ID]

#also pls literally do not use this as an excuse to make racist comments about him #anonymous #ask #homophobia

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laezelofkliir · 6 years

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so if you are bitter bout mcu what are your unpopular opinions?

so a few people have actually asked me this since i said something vague about mcu yesterday haha so i figured i’ll just make a big long post under the cut and i am sorry if anyone takes this offensively, i just have to rant about some of this stuff so read at your own risk (spoiler i get mad and it is longgggg)

I do also want to say i love the mcu despite its many problems and i do my best to separate it from the comics because i understand a movie/tv show can’t develop characters the same way decades of comics can and different versions of their personalities/backstories are okay but still there is some corruption i can’t take

First off - the maximoffs. Like … no! I really am not a fan of the mcu versions. I could deal with their new personalities/upbringings if it wasn’t at the expense of their ethnicity. Like for those of you that don’t know, the maximoffs are jewish and romani, they are basically whitepassing pocs and they were very poor and are even children of holocaust survivors … so how the fuck and why the fuck did they volunteer to work for hydra ?!?! just completely corrupting everything that made them who they were is so disrespectful and to make them fucking work for A NAZI ORGANIZATION is not a small personality/backstory change, it goes against everything from the original characters.

Wanda maximoff also just walked into the avengers with barely any accountability for her actions, yes she had to deal with the pain of what she caused at the beginning of civil war but hardly anyone is bringing up the fact that she toyed with bruce/hulk in aou which caused so much damage and very likely resulted in a loss of many civilian lives, how is no one realizing it is her fault ?! she was pardoned for everything she did when tony was painted as villain WHY

Also in civil war i was more on tony’s side, i do think that cap was right in thinking that they shouldn’t be solely controlled by the government because sometimes there are fights they need to do that they wouldn’t necessarily be allowed to go to. B U T they do have to understand the effects of their often reckless actions. Yes they are saving the world but they could very well destroy it by not taking accountability for the damage they cause.

And okay civil war, like really? I just think it was forced and happened too fast, i know it can’t be like the comics always, but the civil war in the comics actually served a real purpose and in the mcu it was just like 12 people fighting in a parking lot ??

Also the villainization of tony is just … NO. like stop please. Tony makes mistakes, he does as everyone does and yes they are colossal ones too - i mean ultron for just one example. But he should not be seen as a villain for trying to protect the world. He saw infinity war coming a mile away and everybody was upset about it. Ultron was a disaster yes, but how is it that tony wasn’t pardoned when wanda and bucky were? I am not trying to say bucky shouldn’t be pardoned, because he was rightfully forgiven as he had no control over what hydra made him do, but wanda did … and she isn’t really apologizing or realizing the effects of some of her actions so … why is everyone pissed at tony??

And god okay i’m gonna be brief with mcu nat because ugh but just fuck scar jo and get her out of my sight, black widow deserves a solo movie with an actually talented actress who isn’t trying to steal minority roles alongside bucky barnes, i refuse to believe a black widow movie with no bucky could ever work

Guardians of the galaxy … jesus they did my babies dirty. Mcu peter quill … i don’t really like him and maybe it is because i’m not super fond of chris “i have a gun arsenal” pratt but tbh i just think they portray quill as a dick who can be misogynistic and a has a very delicate ego. His changed backstory was meh which i can live with but he is so fragile with his masculinity and it demeans gamora. I do like gamora and peter together but it would be so much better if he wasn’t always trying to be better than her or got offended anytime she was smarter or a better fighter than him (which is always sooo). Then mantis was done dirty she should not be some slave to a weird planet man ?? i think pom is a wonderful mantis but she was given crap to work with because mantis is a celestial being like an actual GODDESS so why is she working for a planet ??? and drax ugh he is not an idiot like mcu portrays him i’m so bitter about that

I understand why scott lang was chosen to be ant man over hank pym i mean if paul rudd was going to be scott it makes perfect sense. Hank is also just … i don’t quite know how to describe hank other than controversial i guess but that’s another story, and scott would come off waaaaay better to audiences as ant man, the thing i am just so mad about is the fact that janet was practically erased from the avengers. I mean please don’t get me wrong i love hope van dyne and a young janet shouldn’t be falling in love with scott, but i just wish they could have at least included the REAL janet, not michelle pfiefer (no offense to michelle either because she’s doing great with what she’s given) being an old knock off janet, and not even like her own movie (which would be fucking fantastic though) but like janet gave so much of her life to the avengers and was a founding member. A FOUNDING MEMBER. And her purpose in the mcu was basically just to give hank manpain like whyyyyyyyyyy

And CLINT! God clint barton was screwed over, comics clint is amazing and is 80% deaf (he has a frickin hearing aid!!) and loves dogs and coffee and pizza and i could even handle jeremy renner being this version of clint, i don’t really have a problem with jeremy but i hate that marvel just made him be loki’s slave for awhile then just randomly give him a family AHA PUH LEASE MARVEL clint barton is a hoe (okay not really a hoe but he has been romantically involved with many of the super ladies) he would not have some secret family also with someone not in the same business as him, and also clint is a survivor of abuse and represents someone with a disability and mcu took all of that away from him ughhh

Okay and spider-man … i think smhc was a great movie and tom is so cute and pure and an amazing peter parker but … why? Like why were we given a THIRD peter parker when we could have fucking had miles morales ?! for those of you who don’t know miles morlaes, he is black and is spiderman in a different universe (the ultimate universe) and so i mean marvel come on if you’re going to put in a new spiderman why couldn’t it be miles? And i mean this with no offense to tom but i just wish we could’ve had a poc lead sooner and now we get into the spiderverse as the introduction to miles which also don’t get me wrong, i am very excited about that movie but to me it just seems like we won’t have a great shot at getting miles in the mcu if they do a series of new animated films about the spiderverse

And doctor strange ugh the whitewashing just ugh and then stephen too like idk benedict cumberbatch is an amazing actor but stephen was made so arrogantly in mcu and he comes off as this hotshot doctor who did it for money and to show off how amazing he is but he actually became a doctor because he witnessed his sister’s death and then soon after his mother died

And then the whitewashing of the ancient one jesusssss the ancient one is not some eccentric white woman, the ancient one is an asian man … i could even understand making the character a woman as the only other female character would be rachel mcadams’s character (she was so unimportant i don’t even know her name whoops) but do not take away the asian identity !!

And iron fist man … it just sucked, there’s really not much more to say

Then elektra fucking natchios was done SO DIRTY elodie yung is the absolute best elektra, i can’t imagine anyone else playing her and she did so well for the shit she was given but they decided to take a route that made her a sociopath ?? i mean i am okay with the changed backstory but elektra just doesn’t go around killing people for the fun of it like she does it because she has been through a lot and wants to take bad people out of the world like the ones that killed her father and yes maybe she is a little misguided and lost but still she doesn’t think killing people is a fun thing to do on a saturday night like why marvel ?? and just the black sky thing was weird … never a thing in the comics but whatever

And also okay … i love peggy carter and i loved hayley atwell being peggy but sharon is ultimately cap’s main love interest and is the main woman in all of cap’s storylines. And sharon was set up SO well but because stucky fans are ruthless sharon doesn’t even exist anymore and i’m so bitter about that, emily vancamp was a great agent 13 and marvel actually did a great job of bringing her into the universe in catws but look what happened, everyone forgot about her and are obsessed with peggy instead … which as i said, i’m not trying to diss peggy or hayley because i loved agent carter and her in catfa, but everyone decided sharon was nothing compared to peggy and i just don’t see why we can’t have both ??

Another thing … why vision? Like why the heck was vision put into the mcu it really doesn’t make sense to me i mean i think paul bettany is great but he just .. why this weird robot? i’m guessing to bring more in about the infinity stones but still idk because that didn’t really happen ??

And rhodey … poor poor rhodey, the casting change was actually a pretty good idea because i think don cheadle is the perfect rhodey (with no offense to terrence howard’s version, i just think don cheadle should’ve been there from the start) but they didn’t really introduce him into becoming war machine at all, they just gave him a suit and were like boom you’re a superhero now go be an avenger ?? with barely any development to why ?? i demand a war machine solo movie please, we all damn well know don cheadle would be great and ryan coogler should direct it, we’ll have no tony (no offense to tony just no more white men) and we’ll get sam in there and they will be a fucking badass team

And i am so bitter that it took 10 FUCKING YEARS to not have a white male lead a movie … marvel you have so many amazing characters of so many different ethnicities and backgrounds and genders and sexualities like why is carol only coming in now and why did black panther just become a huge movie?! should’ve been there from the start ugh

In my eyes, the only flawless mcu pieces that i would never bash are thor: ragnarok, and black panther (and maybe runaways because we finally got our first canon lgbtq couple) and catws if scar jo wasn’t in it. Marvel needs to realize the success of these films, that taika waititi and ryan coogler are the best directors they have and should be directing more films *cough cough* GUARDIANS 3 *cough*

So wow … that’s a lot and it’s a lot of bashing marvel but i just … if you don’t know shit about the comics the mcu seems amazing like i was there once i didn’t start reading comics until a few years ago when i heard about the young avengers and i have loved the movies since iron man came out ten years ago, but the mcu is very corrupting of a lot of the best parts of these characters, and a lot of people don’t realize that

Thanks for letting me rant and as i have said i really don’t mean to offend anyone who is a fan of the mcu or (most of) the actors of the mcu because they’re just doing their job, so please realize a lot of this is my opinion, i’m just expressing how i feel about marvel and for the record, i do love the mcu i just don’t like a lot of what goes on behind the scenes.

#anon #answered #so yeah i know i kind of bashed a lot of peoples faves #but its more marvel's fault than the actual character/actor #sorry kinda not sorry

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 4 years

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10/31/19 3:14pm - Lotssaaaa Fet Stuff

I realize now that I wrote concerts, in anticipation of getting to this weekend in the last post, and I only wrote about one concert. Dumb.

I went to my first BDSM play party on the first sat of the month. It was wild. I went in a suped up kitty outfit but found that I didn’t really enjoy my new plug as much as I’d hoped. Everyone loved it though, I met a bunch of people and got to try my first scene! My buddy gerald and Lyn topped me for some elector play and I spent a half hour getting shocked with various metal thingies. Man, it felt like thousands of scratchy tickles. I was laughing my ass off the entire time. It was amazing. It felt like a lot. But it felt exhilarating too. And I watched some intense flogging and some medical scening like needles going through tits and medical staples and electrically conductive wire being run through all of it and then electrified. It was mind blowing. I’m definitely about the scene now. It’s like enchanting to see how everyone reacts to everything in different ways. The screaming, the moaning, the shivering, the stomping. I really like to watch rope play as well, I’m meaning to start learning it myself again. Lyn said she’d practice with me, and another girl Elyse did too but we’ll get to her later. I’ve just gotta make sure I can DO it. Don’t wanna like embarrass myself lol. Though I think they’d both be pretty understanding. But still, that might be one of my next creative projects. So I guess I’ve gotten away from it but the party at the hangar was fun as fuck. Lyn came over afterward, we finally had sex and she’s the first person to successfully convince me to wear a condom since my vasectomy 😂 Sex was sex/10, nothing super special, but delightfully satisfying. Lyn’s on the heavier end of my acceptable BMI range for partners, but she’s not super heavyset or anything. Since then we haven’t been able to hang out, she had to do some surgery and has been stuck at home. But she got some electro play stuff so as soon as she’s feeling better we’re definitely gonna fool around with that :3 So high hopes that she’ll be harem member #2. fingers crossed 😘

Lyn stats - Str - 10, Dex - 6 (currently lol), Con - 13, Int - 13, Wis - 13, Cha - 12 Hob - 16, Spo - 14, Mhp - 14, Sex - 19, Beu - 13, Sta - 10

To be clear maybe this sex stat is a little inflated, but gotta give credit where credit is due. Pretty legendary just watching her love sucking my cock for a half hour.

We were up until like 4 in the morning watching somethingorother. I downloaded the marvel movies I hadn’t seen but it wasn’t the right time to watch them. We watched some anime and cuddled up and passed out. I don’t know when she left but I’m pretty sure I slept in til like 3 or 4 I think lol.

The next day I went to durham early to see KKB play again! Hung out with Kailey and Cane and Pacos beforehand and drank a bit of champagne to pregame the concert. Honestly I was pretty fucking beat by the time the concert happened though. Like was falling asleep standing up during the show. Plus we were way in the back, the venue was way more crowded than when we saw KKB at the coffeehouse. Felt a little less romantic. But I did bump into my buddies john and travis there, that was weird. and my other friends ended up messaging me saying they were there too but didn’t bump into them. I was still happy I saw the show though, and it’s always great chilling with manu and christina and maya and pacos and oliver and rianne. I was actually supposed to switch shifts that day so I could go to another fet event on wednesday, but bailed so I could hang out with them. Despite being tired as balls I’d say it was worth.

OH MY GOD then I’m not sure if it was this monday or the previous one. But I met this thick Chris Pratt looking welsh guy at the local Fet mixer (slosh night). He kept complimenting me and said if I wanted to fool around I should let him know. Well the night rolled around and my friend had tried to introduce me to this girl who wanted to do pet play but I really didn’t hit things off with her, and was talking to this chris pratt guy about his life traveling the world and also anime. So I took him home to his hotel room, and we tried to arrange for a girl to come play with us too. Unfortunately she flaked so we sat there drinking some rum together and reminiscing on our lives and sharing stories. We decided to get some food and then start fooling around, but right then he got a call that his brother died and he’d have to change his travel plans for the week to make it to the funeral. Pretty tragic. We kissed goodbye and that was that. Guy made bannnkkkk though, I probably would’ve been a boy toy for that kinda cash lmfaoooo. It wasn’t like that. But it could have been. Who fucking knows, man.

That week my fet friend Ann came out to do karaoke with me, too. We don’t have a thing, yet. But we talk once in a while. I haven’t seen her in a minute but she’s into nerdy shit. Turns out there’s a Lot of overlap with nerdy and fet. Which is amazing for me. But Ann joined me and Terri and our friend Matt and Skyler and Jacob and Caitlin are usually there and a lot of times our buddy Jonas from emo karaoke comes too so I’ve got a great fucking posse starting to build up. Karaoke is sick. It’s like my home.

But the next weekend was a fetish fashion show, and my second play party.

For the fashion show Lyn and I had been talking about dressing up to compete, but she ended up having her surgery and couldn’t go. I still was ready to go with my kitty outfit that I had given a test run at the hangar a week before, so I was ready to rock it. Tbh I was kinda nervous. It would have helped if I found out I was the only one competing in my category, but I just wanted to make sure I looked beautiful and shit. Did the best job I’ve ever done putting on eyeliner, I’m getting a lot better lol. Actually got some compliments from the host on it. And a whole bunch of my first fet friends were there to see me!

Sidebar - I came out of the closet as bi on national coming out day on oct 11. Figured it wouldn’t matter too much, but I really wanted to. I’ve identified as bi for a long time, and I’ve been telling people in person for years, but idk I just really wanted to be public about it.

It hasn’t been a relief per se, but it definitely has made me the subtlest bit more comfortable with picturing myself in gay situations. Like there was this cute guy at the fashion show who got tied up in rope and the way the rope tied around his cock made it look huge and he was this cute blonde and I kinda imagined making out with him for a while. lolol. I think honestly it was because of my situation the week or two before with welsh chris pratt, like I just wanted to be able to DO these things without people questioning like “is this who you are?” well yes, yes it is and has been for a bit so hrmph. Of course nobody was ever questioning if it was who I am because I always introduce myself as bi, but the imaginary people living in my head definitely question.

The play party that night was divine though. It was newbie oriented, so you could only do things with people if you had someone experienced involved to help show you how to do things right. I bottomed an impact scene for the first time to see how it felt, my friend summer, one of the people I carpooled over with, slapped me around with a bunch of toys. I watched a lot of scenes, my buddy Gerald gave a tutorial on all the different impact toys and how to use them and what you should be looking into when you buy them. I did some wax play with summer and painted on one of the most gorgeous girls I’d ever seen with latex paint with her boyfriend and one of the hosts of the party. Gave her some cute leopard spots and she loved them :3 Me and my friends that I carpooled with skinny dipped in the “hot” tub. Ann later told me that she’s dubbed it the Tepid Tub. It’s not great. LOL but I was stubborn and sat out there for a while with everyone. Still always love to be naked in water, though I would’ve liked it more if it were a better temperature. And I met a bunch more people as always! I started talking to this girl Mariah there. She invited me to cuddle on her lap after my impact scene and I instantly jumped at the opportunity and ended up getting her number and we might hang out sometime. (LOL I’m not fucking kidding I’m really trying to get a polycule going, this is gonna be the hypest thing ever if I actually get rolling.) I had a blast at that party though, and I’m really pumped to go back this weekend. Should be a hell of a good time.

Sunday I went out and did a How To Kink Good roundtable discussion, primarily focusing on consent and some issues surrounding it.

I. LOVE. how much of the BDSM community revolves around consent. Everything you do has to be talked out before and after. What you want to have happen during the scene and after the scene. What kind of things you want to happen and what should not happen. It’s more than just safewords, you basically know Everything you’re going to do before you go in. Really cool stuff.

I think beforehand I played a magic tournament, and so then I think after the fet talk I had nothing to do and hung out with Jill or something as normal.

Also somewhere around here I’ve started playing some basketball. I’m actually finally working on not shooting like a moron. Won some games of 2v2 and horse with the gang when they’re trying to play. I’m actually being a little sporty on top of all this weirdness and I’m still trying to run at least twice a week. Sometimes 3. Though this week I was def lazy and only did 1. Ah well I’ll get back into the groove and shave off the last 15 pounds I want off eventually.

For now everyone is calling me beautiful and I feel beautiful and fun and I’m meeting people and it’s all so great. Everything is wonderful. I love everything I’m doing and it’s all so fascinating and weird and feels unique as fuck lol. Just when I thought I couldn’t get any weirder I definitely took another great big leap 😂

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hell-jordan · 7 years

Text

85 q’s game

tagged by @lenomcakes

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I tag: anyone who wants to do this... legit believe all my mutuals think I deleted or died

the last

01. drink: water

02. phone call: my dad lmao

03. text message: ummm idk I think my friend... I'm bad at responding so it just feels like I haven’t gotten any texts from anyone new

04. song you listened to: under pressure - queen & david bowie

05. time you cried: pfff a couple weeks ago bc my family was throwing major dysfunction my way while I was already in a really bad mental state... werk

06. dated someone twice: I've held out on romantic anything bc my school was full of stuck up twinks and I literally did nothing else in hs but focus on getting into college

07. kissed someone and regretted it: eh

08. been cheated on: no but i would live to have it happen one time so I can play up the drama of it all

09. lost someone special: eh not really.

10. been depressed: HA!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I've never had the nerve to get drunk bc my parents are so strict on that shit and it’s not worth whatever hell they got in store for me

3 favourite colours

12. violet

13. pink

14. blue

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: ummm yeah I have actually! which is nice.

16. fallen out of love: ... don’t you have to like... fall in love.... to do this?

17. laughed until you cried: I've almost suffocated while laughing too hard so close enough

18. found out someone was talking about you: no... but I know there are some ppl who talk shit abt me but I'm a gemini so I can handle it... also I'm quite literally over anything from high school already

19. met someone who changed you: ummm yeah kinda. I've had some amazing teachers and friends... and like they’ve always inspired me to do better or have made me look at what I do in a new light which has actually really helped me get to where I'm at now so... yeah! I'm really grateful for them.

20. found out who your friends are: yeah lmao. but I've known who my real friends are for a good while. I have really good intuition and also I'm a gemini so I can play both sides of the card and find out who the real rats are when I meet them. perks

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: pffffff one as a joke but not for reals which is a nice thought to have

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: too many lmao like almost all... but tbh I hate Facebook I only go on there for college updates

23. do you have any pets: nah

24. do you want to change your name: ummm no not really. I've found a comfortable home switching between being called Andre and Andy so I've just accepted my fate

25. what did you do for your last birthday: oh god I ringed in my adulthood by watching guardians of the galaxy vol 2 and it was actually the worst... I just wanted to see Chris Pratt bc I think he’s hot.... and I think I went to Disneyland for a bit but it was pretty low-key

26. what time did you wake up: 9 am today I had my voice lesson so I was forced

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: oh my god I completed an overdue childhood wish w/ m sister and we finished the original lego Star Wars game to 100% .... which we never did as kids so yeah. then we watched they live

28. name something you can’t wait for: moving to NYC on the 25th! I'm going bi coastal bitches. ALSO LADY GAGA THIS WEDNESDAY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: lmao she gives me a house to live in so like an hour ago before she went to bed

31. what are you listening to right now: video killed the radio star... I'm listening to a fucking 80′s spottily mix alksjdf;lj

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: ya.... he fucking sucked too

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ummm the fact that a lot of things are going right in my life but I'm still fucking depressed and feel unfulfilled.. also the

34. most visited website: twitter... and gmail oddly... because college won’t let me live yet

35. hair color: brown

36. long or short hair: short

37. do you have a crush on someone: yeah my future country boy living in the city who’s gonna be my boyfriend... whenever I find him

38. what do you like about yourself: ummm my height. also my voice bc it makes me feel like I'm talented at something

39. piercings: nah

40. blood type: ehhh idk

41. nickname: andy

42. relationship status: single

43. zodiac: gemini so I'm two faced

44. pronouns: he/him

45. favourite tv show: I really don’t have one... I've been rewatching 30 rock lately though so that’s kept me gagged for a good while

46. tattoos: none rn... but if I got one it would be small and not in a well seen place... idk how musical theatre is abt that stuff so I'll keep it minimal if I ever did

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: nope

50. sport: jesus I used to do karate and baseball as a kid but I fucking hated baseball bc the men were all straight and me being a lil gay boy was like eh. ... I dance now tho which is p much the closest thing I have to a sport now and it’s just as exhausting as one so yeah

51. vacation: paris would be great

52. pair of trainers: lmao what

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: I'm not eating bc it’s 2 am and I already ate way too much today

54. drinking: I always love water. cold water esp... Diet Coke but I'm trying to limit it bc my teeth

55. I’m about to: idk watch a movie. post this... it’s 2 am so not much

56. waiting for: lady gaga on Wednesday. and college at the end of the month

57. want: money... attention... fame.... idk the usual things an actor wants

58. get married: yeah. but he needs to be hot and rich.

59. career: well... I'm trying to be an actor... musical theatre actor specifically... and I'm studying that in New York so I'm hoping 4 the best... bc umm I don't want to get me and my parents in debt for nothing.

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs... kisses are exhausting

61. lips or eyes: lips... lmao eyes are too intense sometimes

62. shorter or taller: I'm already like 6′1 so taller isn’t the worst but lmao it’s hard to trust ppl taller than you so shorter I guess.... it doesn’t really matter 2 me tbh

63. older or younger: ummm older I guess... I turned 18 like a couple months ago so younger isn’t really like an option... and like tbh I like ppl to be a bit more mature than a fucking high boy

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms... always... my dream man is Chris Evans and a good part of it is his arms

65. hookup or relationship: relationship... hookups are... not satisfying ever. I just want to feel loved LMAO

66. troublemaker or hesitant: eh I don’t give a fuck tbh if I ever develop an opinion on this I'll make sure to answer that some other time

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: lfkjassfdkl yeah but as a joke.. and some other times I don’t count lmao

68. drank hard liquor: my friend brought this fucking thermal cup to school and it had some fucking shit in it that I took a sip from but it was 8am and I was too tired so I never fucking asked what exactly it was??? but the shit burned so maybe???

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah.... broke my glasses too!

70. turned someone down: pffff “does Grindr count” what kinda tea

71. sex on the first date: ummm I haven’t dated anyone but probably not.

73. had your heart broken: no lmao. have been a lil heart sore abt somethings sometimes... yeah. but you know build a bridge and get over it I guess

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: umm not really. not too many people I'm close to have died

76. fallen for a friend: ehhh I avoid this. also most of my friends are legit straight girls so I kind of never have to worry about it.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: no lmao. trust and believe I never give that impression

78. miracles: ya... only bc sometimes the things that happen to me are too good to be anything but pure chance

79. love at first sight: yeah I'd like to think so... Never had it but i think it’s out there somewhere

80. santa claus: lmao yeah sure as long as I keep getting presents from her

81. kiss on the first date: yeah but only if it’s like a special date

82. angels: where r they when I need them!

OTHER:

84. eye colour: brown.... it’s actually a lighter shade of brown than some of my family

85. favourite movie: kill bill... but I despise Quentin Tarantino’s trash ass so know that!

#tagged in #this killed like half an hour thank u alex

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internet-content · 7 years

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Ok I'm actually really excited to hear that you didn't like Jurassic world because I didn't either and I want to have a more articulate and informed way to tell ppl why I don't like it other than the "unnecessary and forced romance" point and "it just lost the magic" I was just super disappointed w it and I want to hear more abt your opinion on it. Sorry if this is kind of rambling btw

no worries! for those of you who did not read the tags on this post a couple nights ago, I said: #I did my capstone on this!!#jp is so explicitly and awesomely feminist#(even though it only has 1 human female character)#the other part of my capstone was that jurassic world is shit garbage its shit it sucks and I fucking hate it

first off I want to correct myself, I said that sattler was the only human female but HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT LEX

these are the bullet points of my 14-page senior project (you asked for it):

jurassic park subverts the male gaze (the dinos do basically all of their murdering when they’re unseen or partially obscured, esp. in the “clever girl” scene; this could be down to spielberg’s famous “less is more” approach to monsters to enhance their effect but still)

this one’s a little more of a stretch but isla nublar, the dinosaurs, and nature in general are all coded as female in the context of the film, and humanity as a whole is coded as male. humanity (who is attempting to impose restrictions on the island and life itself by putting up cages and commercializing everything) is inarguably completely and utterly defeated by the dinosaurs and the island, the protagonists barely get away with their lives and hammond is the only jurassic park employee to see the end of the movie. (female-coded) life finds a way. asshole

also the female characters (ellie and of course LEX) are hugely expanded from the novel (where lex was a whiny younger sister stereotype with no redeeming traits) and ellie probably takes more direct action towards saving the humans than any other character. not to mention that most of the heroic male characters are killed, injured, or too old to contribute anything of value (looking @ you hammond, whose masculine god-playing was the cause of this whole shitstorm in the first place; “dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth”). also the book ends with the island getting firebombed and all the dinosaurs fucking dead but spielberg wasn’t having it

jurassic world is on the other hand a rampaging sexist dumpster fire which specifically subverts most of jp’s feminist ideas. owen is in charge of the raptors, when they defy him they are killed (this is the movie where a velociraptor is unceremoniously blown the fuck up for daring to violate her master’s control, in a moment that is an echo and inversion of the “clever girl” scene, i’m pretty sure that prior to this the only thing capable of killing raptors was the t-rex)

claire fucking dearing. hhhh. I won’t go into detail about everything (you can go through my sources at the bottom if you want) but this character is constantly belittled for…basically everything she does, no matter what (even when she saves the kids’ lives they want to chill with chris pratt like fuck no he’s a dick in this movie) but ESPECIALLY egregious is how much everybody (her sister, owen, the kids) wants her to be a fucking mom, she’s “defrosting ice queen” personified but it’s like the movie wants her to be defrosted through sheer brute force (alan grant was forced into a paternal role in jp but that was due to circumstance, not so much his brother on the phone weeping and begging him to quit his dumb job and focus on the important things like babies) she’s basically on the verge of tears this whole movie and it’s not hard to see why, it’s really uncomfortable to watch it while paying attention to how the other characters treat her. the 3.5 inch heels aren’t even worth mentioning tbh. oh also there’s also a moment where owen is pressuring her to prove that she’s worthwhile in a survival situation (my paper was called “sexism in survival situations” after the scene in jp) and she does so by…removing her top. hhhhhh I could go on but there’s more than just this one fucking character wrong with this movie

remember zara, the assistant who’s forced to do the mothering while claire goes and TRIES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN’T FUCKING DIE thus leaving her nephews to hang out for 4 HOURS AT MOST? (this unforgivable transgression is what prompts judy greer to call her up WEEPING) well you might remember that she lets one of these asshole kids out of her sight and they go on a……..guided tour in a bulletproof glass dome. and then endanger themselves by straying off the path into an area clearly marked as not for access. so I’m pretty sure zara weeps too as a result of this and then later on she is torn apart by like 20 different dinosaurs over the course of a full minute. and a lot of people already know this but it’s just so worth mentioning: this was the first time a woman had been killed onscreen, EVER, in a jurassic park movie. it lasted 60 goddamn seconds, twice as long as it took the main villain of jp (wayne newman’s character) to be killed. i mean. you can just imagine the filmmakers going “you know what? it’s time for a woman to die onscreen, i think that’s what the franchise needs” like

owen grady (chris pratt) really is a pervy piece of shit in this movie, constantly hitting on claire, esp bad since at the end they fucking make out for no goddamn reason. chris revealed in an interview that the first kiss with her after they fight the pterodactyls was unscripted, and a total surprise for bryce dallas howard (colin treverrow, the director, was also there and he confirmed this). I think there’s another interview where she addresses it and she didn’t seem to mind really so ymmv but that’s at least a little icky idk

this movie has more characters overall but the amount of female characters who contribute anything goes down from 2 to 1. it’s been over 20 years but we can’t have 2 women who push the plot forward, okay, whatever (the characters I’m not counting are the lady in the control room who literally friendzones nick miller and zara, who did nothing wrong and died too soon. i liked merlin. she should fire her agent)

god and there’s so much more wrong just with the structure of jurassic world, the characters, the cgi, the themes, everything about it just falls apart under even the smallest bit of scrutiny, I could turn this into a generic shitting-on-jurassic-world post but it’s already long enough

I might’ve gotten a little carried away but like… jurassic park honestly isn’t even in my top 10 favorite movies but I’m so angry about jurassic world. I really hope the person who sent me this anon actually follows me and I didn’t just write this for nothing lol. jurassic world is so bad. its so bad.

“sources” (these are mostly subjective movie reviews that I used to help me form my arguements, this whole post is basically subjective so who gives a shit): Chris Pratt/Colin Treverrow interview, Jurassic World’s Mother of a Problem, ‘Life Finds a Way’: Monstrous Maternities andthe Quantum Gaze in Jurassic Park and The Thirteenth Warrior (it’s ch. 1 in this doc), The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s SilliestCharacter, The Death of Zara Young, or: How I Learned toStop Worrying and Hate Jurassic World, Jurassic World Has A Serious Woman Problem

#Anonymous #its so easy burning jurassic world you should try it yourself #long post #oh and PS colin treverrow is directing star wars episode 9 :/ :/ :/ :/#which fucks me up every time i think about it

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kisekimegami · 7 years

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YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO REBLOG AN ASK MEME EVER AGAIN LOL i'm so sorry. 4, 6, 10, 11, 14, 23, 29, 35, 36, 41, 51 (this is very important what are you talking about), 61 (lmao), 71, 73 (to me, platonically, as sisters, forever), 76, 78, 79, 80, 82, 88, 94, 95, 96, 97.

hmpoMGG SO MANY N U M B E R S

4. i used to hate my last name bc it sounded weird, but i like my name!! its uncommon but sadly it doesn’t really sound right with any other last name than my current one lol i guess im not getting married ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. chill but wild

10. it ranges from “i just woke up and i didn’t feel like it” to “hey thats trendy and casual wow ur so hip 2k17″ like i really like chokers and oversized sweaters and all that trending stuff. it’s usually just really cozy though, like sweaters are my FAVORITE THING EVER :D

11. TUMBLR OR YOUTUBE or snapchat i have no idea i live my life through a scREEN

14. CANADA HANDS DOWN CANADA, VANCOUVER OR TORONTO EITHER OR TBH london is nice too i have lots of family there and it’s a chill city but omg CANADA UGHHH I LOVE IT

23. holy shit where do i begin hMMMMM um amusement park would be AWESOME i would love to ride rollercoasters all day and take aesthetic ferris wheel pictures and then after we can come home and cuddle and watch movies and eat popcorn OOOOH ALSO BAKING I LOVE BAKING WHA T A CUTE DATE THAT WOULD BE

29. i dont have one bc im perfect hHAAHA jk um hmm the worst thing… i accidentally stepped on my cats tail once and he ran away from me and i cried. oh also i shoplifted a webkinz once whoops

35. OOOOH THATS A TOUGHIE if we’re including youtubers THE DOLAN TWINS UGH THEY’RE ACTUALLY SO COOL i would love to be friends with them at least, like even just being their friend would make me very honored, umm i have a bunch of celebrities i look up to (mostly youtubers again whoop) but uhh lets see… i like all of the Chris’s (Evans, Pine, Pratt, Hemsworth, etcetcetec) also Ryan Gosling ugh what a cutie anD YOUNG LEONARDO DICAPRIO JEEZ IF HE STILL LOOKED LIKE THAT HIS FACE WOULD BE ALL OVER MY WALLS what sucks is that there’s really no celebrities my age so i mostly look up to them as friends or for lack of a better word “senpai’s” //cringes

36. Ferris Beuller’s Day Off has become a really big favorite w me recently, Guardians of the Galaxy, HTTYD 2, Summer Wars, Kimi no Na Wa, Aladdin, Zootopia, and The Boy And The Beast. I like movies a lot sorry :’)

41. OOHHH HOW CAN I PICK JUST 10 GAH GIMME A SEC

“Hurts Like Heaven” and “Strawberry Swing” by Coldplay

“Say It, Just Say It” and “Clean Light” by The Mowgli’s

“Happy” and “Ghosting” by Mother Mother

“All I Wanna Do” by Jay Park

“We Don’t Talk Anymore” QUEEN SELENA and Charlie Puth

all of the undertale ost just all of it

“I’m Still Here” John Rzeznik

theyre all really good song s you should listen :33

51. i think 10? i didn’t get anything under our “tree”(i dont celebrate and our tree at the time was just a fake decorative plant w christmas lights) and i was like to my dad “santa isnt real isnt he” and he was like “lol yup he fake”

61. YES AHAHAHAHAH ok so I was 4 and our car broke down and i really needed to pee so i got out of the car and did what needed to be done :’)

71. TEA 10000000000% YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND I LOVE TEA

73. i would love to someday :DD

76. black ahahaha um also red, maroon, yknow fall colors, olive green, etc etc. i have warm toned skin so i tend to gravitate to warmer colors

78. closed who sleeps w their door open wtf

79. hmMMM maybe idk i don’t doubt they’re real but idk for sure

80. people who talk about themselves too much omg that grinds my gears, like when someone goes on and on about themselves like “ok you need to get your head out of your ass pls” and also people who brag about themselves?? like just stop.. theres this guy ik and he thinks he’s the literal best at musical theatre but lowkey he’s garbage and no one likes him hhhHAH @stressedtrashcan knows who i’m talking about

82. cotton candy or mint!! or plain old vanilla but i looove cotton candy flavor

88. yea sure its relaxing

94. “I GOT GREENS BEANS POTATOES TOMATOES LAMBS YAMS MMM YOU NAAAME IT ” lolol jk uhh “If it's God who made us, why're we so damn cruel?” from Start Over by Abandoned Pools

95. WINTER WINTER WINTER

96. hmmm day i like the sun

97. milk is my favorite :)

omfg that took me like 2 minutes just to type up the numBERS and NOW IM FINISHED AND JEEEEEZ THAT TOOK SO LONG BUT AHAHAHAH I HAD A LOT OF FUN!!

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