The many variants of Star-Lord
Lego Star-Lord 2.0
Pixar Elf Star-Lord
Quirky Shoeshiner Terran Star-Lord
Big Fat Meanie Western Thug Star-Lord
Alien Apocalypse Star-Lord
And last but certainly not least, drum roll please
Nintendo Plumber Boi Star-Lord
Let's face it... Star-Lord has more variants than Loki lolz!!! 🤣🤣🤣
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Okay but like.
Does anyone else have the sneaking suspicion that they cast Chris Pratt as Mario because they KNEW it's a stupid casting choice and that the internet would 100% blow it up as a meme, therefore guaranteeing free advertising for the movie.
Like, I get the feeling companies have figured out that if they make dumb decisions for their products, the internet will do all of the marketing for them by turning it into a meme, and that is kind of terrifying.
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See, I've seen a lot of people, when talking about the whole Chris Pratt Mario situation, say that obviously they had to replace Charles Martinet with a different actor. Sure, yeah, Charles has been voicing Mario AND Luigi AND Wario AND Waluigi AND a multitude of other voices in the series since the early 90s, but he only records a few lines per game, there's no way he could record two hours worth of dialogue in his Mario voice. And this reasoning is just beyond stupid to me! It literally does not make any sense at all!
I've had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Martinet before. He comes to anime and pop culture conventions in my state fairly often. I've heard him, in person, tell the story of how he got the part of Mario back in 1990. He crashed the audition. He heard about the audition from someone else and decided at the last minute to show up unannounced and ask if he could read for the part. They said "sure" and told him he was going to be an Italian plumber from Brooklyn New York. So he came up with a voice on the spot for Mario (meaning it had to be something that was fairly easy for him to do, that he didn't need a lot of prep or practice for) and just talked. He just talked and talked and talked. He talked for five or ten minutes and then paused and asked the people he was auditioning for if they wanted him to stop. They said "no, this is great, keep going!" So he kept talking, and he talked for so long in his Mario voice that they ran out of film for their camera. And he was the only person who had auditioned that day that could do that! He was the only person who could talk long enough during the audition that they felt good about it! They literally called Nintendo HQ while he was still in the building and gave him the job immediately!
This is a story he likes to tell a lot. It's on his wikipedia page. There are videos of him telling this story at conventions and interviews and whatnot. Look it up.
Now, naysayers may also say "But oh, that was 30 years ago, there's no way he could sustain his voice for that long I mean imagine the toll it must take on his vocal chords." And THAT baffles me even more because what the hell do you think a VOICE ACTOR is??? You think the MARIO voice is a strain on the vocal chords? What about Donald Duck? Donald Duck's original voice actor Clarence Nash voiced the character for 51 YEARS. His current voice actor, Tony Anselmo, has been voicing him since 1985 (and I've met him too, by the way. He autographed my Ducktales box set!). That's what voice actors DO. They train their voices, learn how to take care of them, so that they can keep voicing their beloved characters for 50+ years. And especially when it comes to someone like Donald Duck, or Porky Pig, or Mario, their original voice actor brings so much of their personality and character to life. Most voice actors who have been around that long, voicing the same character for that long, get a lot of say in what happens to the character--what is seen as being "in character" versus totally unbelievable. And they take so much damn pride in their work.
So yeah, to not have even considered Charles Martinet for the character whose voice he originated is literally nothing but disrespect and the stupidest choice they could have made for the movie, especially casting not even another voice actor but CRISP RAT, and that's a hill I'll happily die on.
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The only time I will acknowledge Chris Pratt Mario is this post, in which I officially state my refusal to acknowledge Chris Pratt Mario, the Illumination Mario movie starring Chris Pratt Mario, or any of the other casting choices for the Chris Pratt Mario movie
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