Red Ties
Chapter 36
Mary, a sweet Christian girl living in the city of Brooklyn as a nurse had a simple life. She loved her work, her friends and attending church every Sunday and helping Reverend McCarthy. Her life was nothing out of the ordinary. However, it all changed one day when she bumps into the intriguing and intimidating James Barnes, Brooklyn’s notorious mafia boss and is introduced to a world of guns, lust and dominance.
Warnings: BDSM, Dom/Sub, Mafia, Violence, Gang, SMUT, Sex, Possessive Bucky, Overprotectiveness, Bondage, Sexual Themes, Dark Themes, Guns, Drugs, Gang Violence
Sunday came sooner than Mary would have liked. The dread of going to church knowing that Reverend McCarthy would be standing at the podium, giving a speech to his congregation on something that he himself might not believe in. Was he a true worshipper, someone devoting his life to God, or was he just a fake? She had so many mixed feelings about it and him that for the first time in all her life of going to church, even when she was just a couple weeks old, she missed it.
She would normally leave early to attend the early service; however, at nine o'clock, she was downstairs in James's kitchen, her dressing robe tied tightly around her waist, and stirring a cup of tea. To James's surprise, as he walked in, fastening the last button on his shirt cuff, he stopped mid-step as he saw her there and furrowed his brows.
"Shouldn't you be at church?" he asked as he came to stand beside her, tilting his head in confusion. Mary gave a sweet smile, almost fake, as she happily chucked the spoon under the tap to give it a quick rinse.
"No," she said simply, and James gave a short chuckle, a nervous one, as Mary scuffled about the kitchen.
"It is Sunday, right?" He asked as if he were going crazy, and she nodded.
"Yeah," she shrugged.
"Are you going to a later service?" he asked, and she shook her head no. Okay, this was getting werid, he thought. But after everything that had happened over the last couple of days, he shouldn't have expected less. Even after their morning debrief of the night before, Mary wasn't in the mood for church or to see John.
"But you always go to church on Sundays," he said as if he were hinting at her to go. First the drinking and now skipping chuch, James was beginning to think someone had swapped Mary for a different one.
"I know," she shurgged again, and he sighed softly. He had managed to dogde the bullet on this one for once, giving his sincere apologies to her and hoping she would forgive him. Mary was beginning to understand that no matter how much she wanted to distance herself from this dangerous side of James, it would keep crawling back. Her faith wasn't strong enough to keep her at a safe distance, but even now she was beginning to question that herself. Had John just been a big fat lier to her all this time?
But leaving James seemed to be harder than following what she knew was morally right. Her love for him was stronger than she thought, and at this point, she had broken so many of her own rules that she was ready to throw them all out the window. Why the fuck not? She might as well start going out every night and partying. If she texted Anya for a night out, her head would literally explode, and she'd be over faster than a cheetah could catch its dinner.
James was right; it wasn't his place to defend or speak for John. They were two people of their own, and although both of them were involved, it was John who needed to explain himself. For once, James was secretly glad he wasn't on the firing line.
"Look, I know you're mad at John, but maybe you should give him a chance to explain. It's not like you to not go to church," he said.
"Well, I've already broken three rules so far, so I might as well throw it all out the window," she said in an almost too cheery voice.
"He's been your family friend and reverend for years; are you really going to throw that all away without giving him a chance to speak?" That was rich coming from James, and he almost sheilded himself, ready for the blow. but it never came as Mary picked up her tea and padded past him.
"What's there to talk about? He's obviously involved in that side; you said so yesterday, and if that's who he is, then I don't need him to explain." James followed her upstairs, rushing up to stop her in her tracks as she placed her tea on the side and went for the shower. He took her hands in his, covering them entirely, and looked down into her eyes.
"Please just give him a chance to explain. He's been your reverend for years, but that doesn't mean he was faking it. Everyone has their reasons, and it wouldn't be fair for you to not let him explain. You let me explain, and I know that you love him dearly. You can't throw years of your faith out the window without letting someone give their reasons; that wouldn't be the Christian thing to do.".
Fuck, he was right. She hated that he was right. Deep down, she knew this: she knew she couldn't give up years of trust and faith in her god and her reverend without letting them take their side. She was just trying to avoid it. To avoid having to talk yet again about this dangerous world she didn't understand. Trying to avoid John's wisdom and sense and knowing he could turn any situation into a positive. These men and their ways.
Mary sighed, finally giving up this attitude that she wasn't bothered by all this because she was. Not being at church right now was killing her, and why should she punish God when he had done nothing wrong?
"I don't even know what to say, though. He's like a second father to me. Since being in this city, he's the only person I could go to with my problems and fears and not be judged by them. After all these years, it feels like it's blown up in front of my face," she admitted, and James softened, shortening his stance slightly.
"Well, maybe don't say and just listen first. You can be angry at me; in fact, I would rather you'd be angry at me, but not him." The fact that James was willing to let the girl he loved take her frustration and anger out on him meant more to her now than it would have been if he said that a couple weeks ago. She knew she needed to give John a chance, but she had hoped it hadn't come so soon.
The congregation left with smiles and chatter, and the church fell to an eerie silence. John quickly picked up the tattered bibles, stabbing them in his strong arms as he reached the front, dropping them with a heavy thump on the floor to neatly pack away later. It was hot, and he was dying to get out of his robe. The small pattern of shoes alerted him, and he assumed it was one of his parishioners, but as he turned, he went rigid as he met the slightly darkened eyes of Mary.
"Mary," he spoke with surprise as she stood a few feet away from him, clutching her hands in front of her and shuffled about on her feet. She tried to place a stoic look on her face but failed miserably.
"Hi," she murmured, and John took a deep breath. He himself had hoped this day wouldn't have come so soon. He was dreading the day would come and hoped it never would, and now it was here, staring him in the face—one he couldn't ignore.
"Can we go to my office?" He wanted to say it would be more appropriate to talk in there, but after the events of two days ago, he held back that fact, and Mary simply nodded, following him in. The office was boiling, and he excused himself as he peeled off his white robe and hung it on a hook on the wall.
"I'm sure you have a lot of questions," he said as he sat in his office chair slowly, clasping his hands together on the desk. Mary distracted herself by tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I do," she said softly, but she wasn't sure which one to start with. Silence fell between the both of them, and John cut through it with a deep sigh.
"I don't blame you for hating me if you do or judging me. But if there is one thing I ask of you, it is to listen. I don't expect you to forgive me so easily; I would never ask that of someone or even forgive me at all if you didn't want to. I have my past, one that I cannot ignore or run from, and if I could have told you in better circumstances, I would have," he admitted.
"What would you have told me?" he asked.
"I would have told you who I am and where I come from. It's not easy when you're born into this life; you can't hide from it or run away from it, no matter what you do. Even becoming a reverend didn't mean I'd be free of this life. I hate to use this phrase, but it's in my blood." He slightly chuckled, but Mary didn't respond; she just listened.
"When I was twelve, my father sat me down and told me that he was the head of an organised crime gang here in Manhattan. I didn't quite understand it then and thought it was all fiction, like those mobster movies you see. At the age of sixteen, I witnessed my first murder. He deserved it, of course, but at that age, you can't quite know how you're going to react."
"From there, I realised who my family was and who I was going to be as I grew older. I wanted to hide, I wanted to run, and I didn't want to believe I was destined for this life. My family was heavily religious, despite our actions. We attended church every Sunday as a normal family, or what people thought was a normal family, and I knew I couldn't give up my faith; I could never".
"I said to my father that if he wants me to be in this life, then he would have to accept my choice to join the church. I think back then I secretly hoped it would give me a way out, but I was surprised to see my father just nod and say, "Okay."
"So I joined the church, became a reverend, and carried on with what was going to come. I've done things that are shameful, and I wish I could say I'm ashamed of them, but I'm not. I never once faked my faith or my love for you or anyone else in the congregation. I want you to know that.".
Silecne fell again, and Mary took a deep breath, blowing through pouted lips.
"James said you and him have known each other for a while.".
"Yes, our family's knew each other. He and I have done business together, which I'm sure you don't want to hear.".
"Well, the more I don't want to hear about it, the more I do. It seems like I can't get away from it anymore than you can." She slightly smiled at the end, but it fell again.
"I wish I could have told you, Mary, but I was scared that I would lose you. Not just as a parishioner but as a dear friend. Your family has been with this church for so long, and if I could, I would have told you all sooner, but some things are meant to be left covered. We shouldn't all have to let our demons be known.".
"When I came to you about James, the first time he told me who he was, did he have any input?" She was scared to ask, but the faint flutter of John's eyes gave her the answer.
"He loves you so much he didn't want to lose you, and I guess selfishly he knew I could make you stay. But that's James for you; he does this to those he loves. He knew I could get you to give him another chance," he admitted, and Mary sighed. The pieces were all coming together.
"But I'll be honest, and this isn't me making this up. Over the years, I've become less involved in this life. Luckily, for us, getting older is a way out of it. I'm not as heavily involved as I used to be. James, it is a different story, and that is between both of you, but I only do business if necessary. James and I are old friends, friends with never-ending favours. I do hope one day I'll be able to retire and live in peace, but I don't think I am there yet.".
"So on Friday, was that a favour?" Mary asked, and John nodded.
"James said you didn't want to know the details," he clarified, and she nodded.
"I did, but it seems like it's getting harder for myself to not be involved.".
For a moment, Mary took everything in. She hadn't realised that despite growing up in a mob gang mafia family, whatever you want to call it, John didn't want this life for himself, and if he was going to be forced into it, he had his own rules about how to live it. Mafia and Christianity don't mix, but John proved the system wrong. And still, while Mary listened to his kind, nuturing voice, he made her accept him for who he is. It sounded like John didn't have much choice in the matter. One thing she couldn't quite understand about this life was that there seemed to be no escape.
But how could she understand that when she had never experienced how they lived and grew up?
"I promise you, Mary, that I will be here, as the reverend and devoted Christian that I am, any time of day, to listen and advise on what I can. And if you feel you can't come to me, I accept that fully, but I've given you my truth, my confession, if you will.".
"Are you sure you're not Catholic, then?" She joked, and he let out a laugh, strong but low, and the tension disappeared.
"I guess all I can ask for is your forgiveness," he asked softly, holding out his hands and his palms. Mary took a breath.
If reverend John McCarthy had told her months ago he was actually the son of a mobster family and had it running through his veins, she would have turned the corner as quick as she could and had never returned to this church again. But the last few months had changed her. Meeting James had changed her, and she had learned things she might not have wanted to learn. But this was life. No more fairy tale romance for her waiting on a horse to ride off into the sunset. There are no more love story plots to follow. The books and movies were all wrong. This isn't how life goes. It takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, one you can't seem to stop and get off at.
"I can't give up all my years of service to you and the church, not after everything that happened with mom and living here on my own. If you had asked me that a few months ago, I would have run out screaming, but I guess this is a life I'm going to have to learn and understand as well." She stood from the desk, John following in her footsteps, and she padded around, standing in front of him for a few seconds before reaching forward and wrapping herself in his arms.
He hugged her tightly, giving her a squeeze, and she sighed in relief. She felt cleansed. This dreaded conversation was over, and she hoped she wouldn't have to go through it again. even though she wasn't counting on it. Knowing here someone else she knew for years would now turn up and say, 'Oh yeah, I'm also apart of the mafia world'. but she'd worry about that when it comes to it.
Right now, she was just glad her reverend was back, and although it was going to be tricky to release any pent-up anger she had towardss James and his illegal doings towards John, he was still her reverend and always would be.
Chapter 37
Hey I hope you like this chapter, this one is a bit boring I think but going to move on to some juicy stuff now. I've just had some surgery so haven't been feeling the best but hoping to update at least once a day, let me know in the comments what you think
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