#christian humor

[jessi4branchifer]

Christian Families Watching TBT Be Like-

John Dory: says God's name in vain a BAZILLION TIMES (no it was like twice lol)

Christians: 😱WUT KINDA CRAP WE WATCHIN'?!!

~~

Spruce: singing 🎵On The Floor, Let's Do This, No More Talkin'🎵

Christians: 😱WAIT I THOUGHT THIS WAS PG!!!

~~

Branch And Poppy: hold hands

Christians: 😱DUDE THEY'VE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR LIKE ONE MONTH SLOW DOWN-

~~

Bridget: singing 🎵As Good As Hellllll...🎵

Christians: 😱OH NO THEY DIDN'T- they just said the H-word😲

~~

Bruce: This is Brandy, my wife and business partner. She is my soulmate. My very tall soulmate.

Christians: NO THATS JESUS-

~~

Bridget: Ooo, so hot!

Christians: 😱THEY SAID THE OTHER H-WORD

~~

Branch: Oof, I love how you say HVAC

Christians: 🤨WAIT- WUT...HUH?..WHAT HE HINTIN' AT HERE I DON'T- he likes bad girls maybe?!... 😱

~~

Branch: ...so we don't get our cupcakes sliced in two

Christians: ....😐I can't with this movie anymore.😑

~~

Branch and Poppy: kiss

Christians: 😱WHOA HOLD UP THEY'RE ONLY TWENTY THEIR BRAINS HAVEN'T EVEN FULLY DEVELOPED YET THEY CAN'T KISS PEOPLE-

guys this is a joke and a joke only- me and my family's Christian and we don't do this lol, I just thought it was funny -@jessi4branchifer

#trolls band together #trolls 3 #brozone #trolls branch #dreamworks trolls #trolls poppy #john dory trolls #broppy #trolls clay #humor #christian humor #christian family #this is a joke #not accurate

[oliviartist]

#christblr #chrumblr #✝️umblr #christianity #christian humor #christians #easter memes #happy easter #christian memes

[tradflowr]

I remind myself of these 4 things every morning:

1. Women should always aim to be refined, polite, and well-spoken.

2. Arch your spine and your shoulders back. This is good posture.

3. A lady should not swear, and gossip is a sin. Remember those two things always.

4. Humility is one of the most attractive traits a woman can have.

#traditional gender roles #traditional relationships #christian #motherhood #trad #tradblr #tradfem #traditional family #traditional femininity #housewife #god is my refuge #as god intended #bible study #christian humor #faith in god #god willing #faith #godly life #slow living

[tomicscomics]

06/30/2023

JUNE OF ARC concludes in a harrowing finale!

I really enjoyed drawing St. Joan of Arc cartoons this month, so thank you all for humoring me!

If you enjoyed them too, maybe we'll do it again next year.  We've only scratched the surface of her amazing story!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Camp-followers were women who followed armies around to make money off the soldiers when they stopped for the day.  They were prostitutes with bad prosti-'tudes, man.  Other people might follow the camps for good reasons (like cooks and priests), but not these ladies. 2. This cartoon is based on witness testimonies from those closest to Joan.  According to them, her response to camp-followers was absolute.  She kicked out any harlots she found, sometimes with gentle admonitions, and other times with the flat of her sword. 3. I've heard some people question Joan by saying, "She's not very Christian.  Jesus WELCOMED prostitutes."  Yes, Jesus welcomed prostitutes.  REPENTANT prostitutes, who He forgave and then told, "Go and sin no more."  He had a very different reaction to the money-changers in the temple.  They disrespected His Father's presence, so He chased them off with a homemade whip.  Joan's mission was to guide her army in God's Name.  She worked hard to make her men go to Mass, receive the sacraments, and adopt behavior befitting servants of God.  Like the money-changers, the prostitutes mocked God's presence by their actions and intentions.  So, like Jesus, Joan drove them out.  Her only fault was not knowing how to fashion a whip of her own, to make the parallel more plain for her SLANDEROUS, PULING critics! 4. "This is a wholesome Christian war-camp!" is a play on the well-aged meme of Christian Minecraft servers, where you can't swear or post naughty things. 5. "I'll make you marry the next man I find you with!" is an actual threat Joan used, according to one witness during her Rehabilitation Trial. 6. "Walloping" is a good word.  Catch me outside. 7. I like drawing Joan and La Hire next to each other because she's so tiny.

#joan #st joan #joan of arc #st joan of arc #jeanne darc #st jeanne darc #catholic #christian #medieval #france #armagnac #orleans #wholesome #cartoon #comic #catholic memes #christian memes #catholic humor #christian humor #la hire #wholesome christian war camp

[dunnuhbruh]

Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return is just yolo for Catholics

#haha #funny #yolo #yolo i guess #catholic #catholocism #catholic humor #ex christian #ex catholic #ex Catholic humor #christianity #Christian #christian humor

[crazycatsiren]

"Don't use the Lord's name in vain!"

The Lord doesn't give a flying fuck, Beth. Or he would've said something to me decades ago. Jesus Fucking Christ.

#shitpost #religious ramblings #religions #catholicism #christian humor #but it's true

[donnadarling]

Compassionate Lord, I beseech Ye to cause my executive to function. Amen.

#daily prayer of the ADHD experiencer #darling thoughts #christian humor

[christian-culture-is]

christian culture is wondering if someone wearing cross imagery is christian, goth, or both.

#christblr #chrumblr #christian humor #Christian culture #✝️umblr #✝️

[stardust948]

Judas: For the last time, your is possessive and you're is a combination of you are.

Simon Peter: My fire.

John: My one desire.

Zee: Believe when I say.

All three: I WANT IT THAT WAY!

Judas: Jesus they're doing it again!

Jesus, getting ready to sing:

#the chosen #the chosen tv series #source: tumblr #the chosen incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #christianity #christian humor

[arcadialedger]

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

No I’m not kidding. Anne became God, Luz was resurrected from the dead the night before Easter Sunday and Molly is literally a ghost.

#disney #disney animation #amphibia #the owl house #the ghost and molly mcgee #toh #tgamm #holy trinity #christian humor #fandom #animation #the arcadia ledger

[oliviartist]

I have once again bestowed upon ye memes

#chrumblr #christblr #christian humor #christians #Memes #Christian #Christianity #✝️umblr #✝️ #Jesus #judas #peter #veggitales #the chosen

[tradflowr]

Today’s devotional is special — my mother was raced into the hospital last night and is currently in emergency surgery. Prayers for her recovery are greatly appreciated. Her name is Emma 🤍✝️

#prayer request #traditional gender roles #traditional relationships #christian #motherhood #tradfem #trad #housewife #tradblr #traditional family #traditional femininity #god is my refuge #godly life #jesussaves #answered asks #as god intended #bible study #christian humor #christianity #faith #faith in god

[tomicscomics]

04/09/2023

Peter has a breakdown.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In John's Gospel, John refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved", which makes it sound like Jesus didn't love the others.  I doubt that implication is intended, but I can't help characterizing him as a bit full of himself because of it.  In the story this is based on, John talks about him and Peter running to Jesus's tomb.  He makes sure to mention he got there before Peter, but that he let Peter go in first, so he's more athletic than (but still very courteous to) his crusty elders.  The story sounds like John is bragging or subtly insulting Peter for being slow, so in this cartoon, I've dialed those implications up to 11.  Perhaps this is an earlier draft of John's Gospel... before Peter gave him an editorial review.

#st peter #st john #peter #john #gospel #mary magdalene #easter #bible #catholic #christian #catholic humor #christian humor #catholic art #christian art #HE IS RISEN

[southsidewrites]

as a chronically single christian, I can safely say that Valentine's Day being on Ash Wednesday may just be the most depressing coincidence in history.

"remember you're dust and single as fuck, bro."

#like lol remember your death #your death alone #add in the fact that I am at peak job stress right now #and it just gets worse #I may never recover #becca rambles #ash wednesday #christian humor

[crazycatsiren]

Jesus was the first Christian wizard and you can't change my mind on this.

#shitpost #religious humor #christian humor #catholicism #religions #christian witch

[barbelo-babe]

Dionysus vs Jesus

#christian memes #christianity #religious memes #christian humor #pagan memes #paganism #greek mythology #classical mythology #mythology memes