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#christmas meme
rpsourcedmemes · 9 months ago
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Send 🌿 to meet my muse under the mistletoe
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buff-muffin · 9 months ago
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This was such a weird Christmas photo I couldn’t resist. I got lazier as it went on but it only makes it funnier.
Ink-@myebi error-@loverofpiggies Paperjam-@7goodangel gradient-@roseworks / @askcomboclub
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angelprompts · 9 months ago
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holiday inbox memes   ♡   a series of symbol prompts that could be used during the christmas holidays.  feel free to change anything as needed.  happy writing!
my muse  =  the receiver's muse, your muse  =  the asker’s muse
[ 🎄 ]    for our muses to decorate their tree together
[ 🎁 ]    to give my muse a gift  -  bonus if you include what the gift is 
[ 🥛🍪 ]    to catch my muse eating / drinking the goodies left for “santa”
[ 🌟 ]    to show my muse that your muse put a photo of my muse on the top of the tree instead of a star/angel
[ ❄️]    to throw a snowball at my muse
[ ✨ ]    for our muses to drive around and look at the christmas lights
[ 🍴 ]    to invite my muse to your muse’s house for a feast
[ 🕺 ]    to ask my muse to dance to christmas music
[ 😘 ]    for your muse to dangle a mistletoe above our muses
[ 🍪 ]    for our muses bake christmas-themed sugar cookies
[ ❗❓ ]    to catch my muse trying to peek at one of their presents
[ 🤢 ]    for my muse to eat the poorly-made cookie that your muse baked
[ 🎶 ]    for your muse to spontaneously start caroling for my muse
[ 😬 ]    for our muses to go last minute shopping
[ 📜 ]    to ask my muse if they think they’re on the naughty or nice list
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a-single-tulip · a year ago
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If you don't love me at my
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Then you don't deserve me at my
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vindctvewrites · a year ago
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*♡ ˙ ˖ ✧・゚  —  holiday ask meme  !  —  ・゚✧ ˖ ˙ ♡ *
send  🎄 for  our  muses  to  decorate  the  christmas  tree  together .
send  🌿  for  our  muses  to  be  caught  under  mistletoe .
send  ⛄️  for  our  muses  to  build  a  snowman  together .
send  ❄️  for  our  muses  to  be  caught  indoors  due  to  a  snowstorm .
send  🛩  for  your muse  to  surprise  mine  by  making  it  home  for  the  holidays .
send  🍪  for  our  muses  to  bake  cookies  for  santa  together .
send  🎁  for  my  muse  to  try  &  guess  what  yours  got  them  for  christmas .
send  🙈  for  our  muses  to  stay  up  waiting  for  santa .
send  🥶️ for  our  muses  to  warm  up  by  cuddling  close  to  a  fire .
send  💝 for  my  muse  to  give  yours  a  handmade  gift .
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short--insomniacs · a year ago
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december 24th, 9 PM, eastern standard time. from here on in, i shoot without a script....
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acurvypixie · 9 months ago
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😂😂😂😂
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roleplaymemeworld · a year ago
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CHRISTMAS STARTERS
“Where has all the eggnog gone?”
“Do you want to decorate a ginger bread house with me?”
“The older I get, the more I understand the Grinch.”
“I bought matching Christmas pajamas for us!”
“I have wrapped like 200 presents and I am still not done.”
“I think the cat just ate some tinsel off the tree.”
“This is our first Christmas together and I want it to be special.”
“We can add a special ornament to the collection each year. This year's is for our future baby.”
“Can you help me put the star on top of the tree?”
“What do you want for Christmas?”
“Is this an ugly Christmas sweater kind of party, or do I have to wear pants?”
“Everyone is drunk on rum and unwrapping the wrong presents.”
“If I have to bake one more cookie, I am going to scream.”
“You have sprinkles in your hair.”
“Did you know that candy canes don't actually taste as magical as they look?”
“Let's go for a walk and look at Christmas lights!”
“What did you get [ insert name ] for Christmas? I have no idea!”
“Is your family coming over for Christmas?”
“Can you help me set the table? The guests will be here soon.”
“It's snowing on Christmas!”
“Can we make hot cocoa and watch a Christmas movie together?”
“Please hang up the stockings for the kids, so I can fill them.”
“Go ask mommy/daddy for a glass of milk for Santa.”
“You're my best Christmas present this year.”
“I think the roast is burning in the oven and grandma is already drunk.”
“How about Christmas in a cabin in the mountains this year?”
“We should do a Secret Santa with the others!”
“TURN OFF THE RADIO, LAST CHRISTMAS IS PLAYING!”
“I'm Scrooge and I expect to be visited by a couple of ghosts tonight.”
“I'm glad we get to spend Christmas together this year.”
“No one should be alone on Christmas!”
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kipsrph · 9 months ago
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Headernotes:
- THIS IS A LONG POST! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove - Feel free to change pronouns to match - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3
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“(Name), can you explain again what we're doing?”
We're kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...to embrace the majesty of the winter landscape...and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“We're not driving all the way here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?”
“Some jackass is riding my tail.”
“(Name)! Don't provoke them!”
“Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.”
“Eat my road grit, liver lips!”
“(Name), stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!”
“Will you just take it easy, (Name)? I'm in complete control.”
“(Name), we're stuck under a truck!”
“Do you think I don't know that?”
“For Christ sake, I didn't do this on purpose!” 
“My toes are numb.”
“I can't feel my leg.”
“(Name), that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.”
“It's not going in our yard, (Name). It's going in our living room.”
“She'll see it later, (Name). Her eyes are frozen.”
“Hey, (Name)! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?”
“You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that.”
“I wasn't talking to you.”
“It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.”
“Did I tell you I talked to my mother?”
“They've decided they're coming for Christmas too.”
“You're forgetting how difficult it's gonna be having everybody in the house.”
“(Name), they're family. They're not strangers off the street.”
“Yeah. And about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs. And your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip.”
“I want to have Christmas here in our house. It means a lot to me. All my life I've wanted to have a big family Christmas.”
“The question is, what will you do with that bonus? Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.”
“Oh, my God, you're putting in a pool.”
“Layman's terms. None of that inside bullshit jargon nobody understands.”
“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.Happy Hanukkah.”
“Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if stores were less hooter--Hotter than they are.”
“You have your coat on.”
“There is a nip in the air though.”
“Can I take something out for you?”
“'Tis the season to be merry.”
“Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas!”
“Look at how big you've gotten!”
“They're not sleeping in my room. I'm gonna go crazy.”
“We're gonna have the best-looking house in town.”
“Come on, unravel these. You have to check every bulb. Got a little knot here. You work on that. I'll get the other box.”
“Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?”
“We're all making sacrifices, (Name).”
“Well, I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.”
“And why is the carpet all wet, (Name)?”
I don't know, (Name)!”
“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard, staring at the house in my pajamas.”
“Talk about pissing your money away.”
“Let's get in where it's warm.”
“Now, look, if you need any help...give me a holler. I'll be asleep.”
“Where the hell is that cold coming from?”
“I want to take off these clothes, sit with a glass of wine and kiss your body.”
“Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?”
“Do you honestly think I would check thousands of lights if the extension cord wasn't plugged in?”
“You deserve a home like this to spend Christmas in.”
“You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.”
“I hope this adds to your enjoyment of the holidays.”
“You got a kiss for me?”
“Better take a rain check on that. (pronouns) got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet.”
“We named him that because he's got this sinus condition.”
“You pet him and he'll love you till the day you die.”
“If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised then I am right now.”
“After that long drive, we could use a little private time together.”
“(Name), help me get some hot chocolate. It's cold.”
“A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning…”
“It's a crying shame the older kids couldn't make it.”
“She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook.”
“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“Oh, that there? That's an RV.”
“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I wait.”
“We're gonna fly down the hill with this stuff.”
“You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time (Name) revved up the microwave...I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour or so.”
“Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh?”
“What are you doing up, sweetheart?”
“You shouldn't use that word.”
“I don't think he should be nervous and you shouldn't be either. Because if you're good, Santa knows it. If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and you believe in your...Your dad. If you've been good all year round, Santa is gonna bring you something.”
“Well, I happen to know for a fact that Santa Claus is real. And in the next couple of days… somehow I'm gonna prove it to you.”
“It's good you came to stay with us.”
“I think you'd better go back to bed now.”
“Aren't you having any breakfast?”
“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air.
And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”
“It's a sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match near it.”
“Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!”
“In seven years he couldn't find a job?”
“(Name) and I want to help you give the kids a nice Christmas.”
“This isn't charity. It's family.”
“If you don't tell me what they want, I'll go out and get it on my own.”
“Is your house on fire, (Name)?”
“No, those are Christmas lights.”
“Don't throw me down, (Name).”
“Oh, that was fun. I love riding in cars.”
“Oh, dear. Did I break wind?”
“You shouldn't have brought presents.”
“This box is meowing.”
“(Name)? (pronoun) passed away 30 years ago.”
“They want you to say grace. The blessing!”
“I told you we put it in too early.”
“I heard on the news that a pilot spotted Santa's sled on its way from New York.”
“Is there anything else I can do for you, (Name)?”
“If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.”
“Look what you've done to my tree!”
“It was an ugly tree, anyway.”
“I'm sorry if I've been a little short with everyone lately.”
“...I didn't have enough in my account to cover the check.”
“I can't swim, (Name).”
“(Name), that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”
“If this isn't the biggest punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!”
“I wanna look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”
“He's got that crazed look in his eye.”
“Turn that thing off and get in the house!”
“Aren't you a bit sorry we didn't get a Christmas tree?”
“Well, where you gonna find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve?”
“Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk?”
“I didn't go berserk. I simply solved a problem.”
“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“I'm gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.”
“I'm going in with him.”
“You just march right over there and slug that creep in the face.”
“I can't just attack someone.”
“Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm
holiday emergency here.”
“We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye.”
“And when Santa squeezes his ass down that chimney tonight he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.”
“Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, (Name). We're at the threshold of hell!”
“You losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse.”
“Are you gonna recite The Night Before Christmas?”
“No. It's your house. It's your Christmas.”
“You about ready to do some kissing?”
“I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.”
“I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this.”
“If you wanna come in, you are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!”
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
“I did something I shouldn't have, and these people called me on it.”
“It's Santa Claus!”
“She thinks she sees Santa.”
“No, it's the Christmas star. And that's all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See, kids...it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.”
“That ain't the frigging Christmas star. It's a light on the sewage treatment plant.”
“Merry Christmas, honey.”
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