Tlh crack au pt.1
Not everything in the memes are in this part
Disclaimer: I got surgery last month and was high on anesthesia when I wrote this so this was literally written by someone who was high. There are a lot of sex(mentioned) and alcohol present, also there is a self harm mention but it's brief
If you have any questions about this fic I will try my best to answer it, I might not know though bc I have no idea what my high self's plan with this was
Thank you to my beta reader(sorry for putting you through this Skye-) and to Nad and Jaimie, I appreciated your reactions <333
All that said, please enjoy and don't take any of this seriously!!
A rap of knocks came from the dorm room door, Lucie groaned and pulled away from her parabatai, or she called it, her paraba-tie-me-up. “Go away asshole, we're busy.”
“Don’t wanna hear about my recent ‘appointment’ with Jesse?” The voice of the girl’s best friend, Matthew answered.
Cordelia got up and opened the door, “sorry babes, you know you can just walk in right?”
“We all know what happens when I don’t knock on y’all’s door at 2am.” He winked.
“And we all know you had a great time being cuddled by two hot girls while sipping auntie Tessa’s margarita recipe.”
“Fair point, Red.”
The tall girl crossed her arms over her chest. “As if I’m ever wrong, bottom bitch.”
The three of them burst out laughing as they went to sit on the pull out sofa. Lucie had put on Mama Mia while they were ‘arguing’, I mean, what better movie to watch as your best friend talks about his sex life.
“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” A semi deep voice said from the doorway, a slight Parisian accent still present after coming back from Paris a year prior. “Matthew’s getting dick and I’m still single? That’s racist.” Alastair rolled his eyes and held up his hand in a stop motion as he closed the door and set his things down on the table.
“What about that guy in your music theory class?” Lucie asked.
“Ugh I can’t date him.”
“Why not?” Matthew asked. “You said he’s tall, nice, and smart, what more does someone getting over a break up look for?”
“He’s related to Lucie.”
“Thomas!?” The three of them yelled.
Alasatir rolled his eyes, “no I mean James, of course I mean Thomas!”
“He’s been in love with you for like ever,” Matthew said, “and now you like him back!”
“Besides,” Cordelia took a sip of her drink, “you know what they say about tall guys.”
Lucie gagged over the side of the makeshift bed while Matthew nodded.
“It’s true, why do you think I only date guys over six feet.”
“Because you’re shallow.” Alastair deadpanned.
“Ow, true, but still ow.”
After finishing Mama Mia and Into the Woods, while making fun of James Cordan the whole time, the four fell asleep. The next day was hectic, without hangovers thanks to Alastair making them drink water before sleeping and right when they woke up, they glared at him the entire time while walking to Alastair and Cordelia’s mom’s coffee shop.
“You know you and James have patrol tonight with Jesse, right?” Thomas said as Matthew sat down at their usual table in the shop.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Matthew waved his hand dismissively. “I know Jamie will protect me if I get distracted.”
James looked up from his computer, his morning glasses falling down his nose just a bit. “Huh?”
“You should be a good husband and listen to me more.”
“We’re not married, Math, we’re parabatai.”
“Same thing bitch, just different shapes.” He took a huge sip of Christopher’s coffee, which literally is 5 shots of espresso and 7 teaspoons of sugar. “Oh Tommy, Alastair’s simping for you.”
Thomas stopped writing in his journal for a moment, “uh cool I guess?”
The boys stopped what they were doing, even Christopher, and stared at him, shocked.
“What the fuck did you just say Thomas-” The purple eyed scientist said.
“I just,” Thomas shrugged, “don’t really care..”
Matthew tilted his head and slightly poked his tongue into the inside of his cheek before yelling, “Genie!”
“What’s up kiddies?” The waitress asked when they showed up to their table.
“Tom just said he doesn’t care that Alastair likes him.” James said slowly, still processing the information.
Genie made a concerned face and reached over Matthew to put their hands on Thomas’ cheeks and forehead, “well you’re not sick.. maybe it’s psychological.. I’ll ask Barbs to stop by later.”
Thomas rolled his eyes, “guys come on, I’m just.. not into him anymore.”
“Tommy,” his sibling started slowly, “roll up your sleeves.”
“No if, ands, or buts Tommy, we saw this with Matty back in high school, I’m taking no chances.”
Thomas rolled up his sleeves, the only marks being old runes and a couple of surgical scars. “I’m fine. People get over crushes all the time.”
“You know they aren’t going to buy the fact that you just got over me.” Alastair said, burying his face into Thomas’ neck.
“Don’t care. More time I get you to myself, the better.”
“I’m not a possession.” He looked up at his boyfriend with a blank expression.
“You’re short enough to be a teddy bear.”
Alastair stepped back and cracked his knuckles and his neck. “You’re over six feet above the ground, call me a teddy bear again and I’ll have my mom put you six feet under.”
“You’re not going to do it yourself?”
“I’m a pacifist and scared of blood, mama Risa is not the same.” Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Layla and I are positive she killed my dad, no clue why but we’re pretty sure.”
“Isn’t your dad still alive though?”
“Layla’s dad is, my dad isn’t. But shhhhh because Elias doesn’t know.”
Thomas smiled dumbly at him before drawing him in for a kiss, “I love you.”
“Love you too, dumbass.” Alastair hugged him. “‘m tired.”
“You want a massage and then a nap?” Alastair nodded.
“Hey Matthew.” Jesse mumbled.
“I missed you.” Jesse kissed the back of his neck.
“Jesseee,” Matthew whined. “Stop being domestic or I’m gonna fall in love with you.”
“That’s the plan baby.” Matthew rolled his eyes playfully.
Kamala knocked on her ex’s door. “Hey Genie.”
“Hey babes, you and Anna get into another fight.” She nodded. “Come on in, Mena and I were just about to order some takeout.”
“Thanks, I don’t mean to be a burden.” Kamala said, walking into the apartment.
“You’re not. You two are engaged, you’re bound to be stressed.”
“We’ve been talking about kids.”
“Oh shit.” Filomena said.
“Yeah.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “I want to adopt out of the foster system and kid one of those kids the same chance I had. Anna doesn’t know if he wants kids.”
Genie bent over and kissed the top of Kamala’s hair, “she wants kids, Kamala, but she knows if you guys have a kid, then it’s serious.”
“I know. And I don’t care if they want kids right now or not it’s her decision as well as mine, but I want to know if this will cause problems later. I don’t want to get married only to get divorced over something dumb like this only a couple years later.” Kamala rubbed her eyes, “I’m actually really tired.”
“Go to sleep.” Filomena smiled at her friend. “Come get us if you need a cuddle!”
Tagging: @ninacarstairss @styxdrawings @lifewouldbebetteronmars @thechangeling @shadowhuntertrash @angelwiththeblue-box @kitandtyarelife @phoenix-and-dragon @the-blackdale @i-love-all-books @arangiajoan @pjo-tsc-trc-otherthingstoo @the-enchanted-dreamer @i-am-church-the-cat @fortheloveofthecarstairs @queenlilith43 @imherongraystairstrash @adoravel-fenomeno @cant-think-of-anything @thehotfaeriethreesome @herondalesunsetcurve @theshadowhunter @sandersgrey @niastormbolastairkanejsambucky @ghafa-dale @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @corvid-idiot @shadowrunner2000 @haleylightwood @icycoolslushie @noah-herondale-lightwood @thepictureofsdr @the-wckd-powers @littlx-songbxrd @tentotea @totalbookmaniac @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @eugeniaslongsword @buttcrflys-rose @bookswitchcraftandcats @khaleesiofalicante @mf-means-matthew-fairchild @agnesandmina @writeordie365 @claradoesntevenknow @hardlymatters @wagnerthedragon @revvs-trash pls let me know if you want to be taken off the tag list!!
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Carstairs Siblings Frozen AU
Word count: 1,111
Part 2- coming soon
Frozen Heart Pt. 1
Born of cold and winter air//And mountain rain combining//This icy force, both foul and fair//Has a frozen harbor of mining//So cut through the heart//Cold and clear//Strike for love and//Strike for fear//See the beauty, sharp and clear//Split the ice apart//And break the frozen heart
It was a warm summer night in the Kingdom of Jahanshah. The young prince, Alastair, was sound asleep in his bed. Until his younger sister, Cordelia, the young princess woke him up by jumping on his bed.
“Dâdâsh, wake up!”
“Ughhhhh, Layla. Go back to sleep, please.”
“But I can’t! The sky is awake, so I’m awake! So, we must play!”
“Go play by yourself, Layla.”
“Do you wanna build a snowman?”
The young prince, opened his eyes, and gave his sister a knowing smile. Quietly, they left the room they shared and went down to the ballroom to build a snowman. How one might ask? Well, the young prince was born with powers. One may say it’s a blessing while others may say it’s a curse.
Once in the ballroom, he used his powers to create snow. The whole ordeal mesmerized Cordelia. Alastair had started building a snowman for Cordelia.
Once the snowman was done, Alastair changed his voice and said, “Hi, I’m Lucie, and I like warm hugs.”
Cordelia ran forward to hug Lucie and said, “I love you, Lucie! You shall be my best friend forever!”
Throughout the night, they played and played. Cordelia started getting a little too hyper, causing Alastair to tell her to slow down. Cordelia wanted Alastair to use his powers to make little hills to jump on, but Cordelia was going too fast. She jumped and jumped and it was all getting too fast for the young prince. As faith would have it, Alastair hit Cordelia’s head with his powers.
Alastair called for his mother, “Mâmân!”
Queen Sona and her sister, Princess Risa, came rushing in!
“Alastair what happened?!”
“Risa, she’s ice cold. What do we do?”
“I know where to go.” Risa said.
Young Thomas was on his trusty sled, pulled by his reindeer, Oscar, heading home, when he noticed two horses. Both horses were ridden by people, but one was leaving an ice trail behind. Interesting. He thought to himself. Mama and Papa are going to kill me if I’m not home soon. In the end, he decided to follow the trail to see where it lead him.
“Risa, are we there yet? She’s getting colder.”
“Almost, Sona. Almost.”
Alastair was seated in front of his aunt as they rode through the forest. Where are we going? He looked over and saw his sister being held in their mother’s arms, he looked away. I’m sorry Layla. I’m so sorry.
Finally Risa stopped.
“We are here.”
Here, was an arena-like area, but made of rocks. Why are we here?
Risa announced herself, “We need help. My niece is hurt and only you are able to save her.”
“Please help her. Please help my baby,” Sona said.
Then abruptly everything started to rumble! All four of them huddled together for security and safety. The rocks started moving forward and then they appeared in front of them. They are rock trolls, Alastair thought excitedly.
Thomas looked in awe seeing the rock trolls appear, but what caught his eye the most was the boy there. They looked about the same age, he had black curly hair and brown skin. He couldn’t see his eyes though, but he was sure they were beautiful. Wow.
“It’s the queen. It’s the queen,” the rock trolls chanted.
Thomas froze. If the woman is the queen, that meant the boy is prince Alastair! With them must be princess Risa, the queen’s sister, and princess Cordelia, the queen’s second child.”
“What is going on?” He thought out loud.
He was startled by a voice next to him, “shhhhh I’m trying to listen!”
Thomas nearly jumped ten feet. He would have screamed if the rock troll didn’t cover his mouth.
“Hey! I said ‘shhhhh,’ don’t humans know what that means?”
Thomas stared at him wide eyed and said yes.
“Okay good! Oh, also I’m Buxton! You are?”
“I’m-I’m Thomas and this is my reindeer, Oscar.”
“Hi! You are now my best friends!” He hugged them both tightly. “Now let’s watch and listen! I wanna know why the queen is here!”
The leader of the Rock Trolls approached them and bowed. “Your highness, what is the problem?”
“My son, Alastair, has powers.” Sona explained quietly.
The leader of the rock looked over at Alastair, then back at the queen.
“Born or cursed,” he said, with kindness.
“Born,” the queen declared.
The leader looked again at Alastair and asked, “What happened, young prince?”
“We were playing and Layla was going too fast for me! I-I accidentally hit her with my powers!” Alastair said as tears ran down his face.
“Where did you hit her, your highness?” The troll leader’s voice was soft and gentle.
Alastair hesitated, “Her head.”
“Good. Good. The head can be easily healed. Give her to me. I shall be able to heal her, but I must change her memories.”
“What?” Aunt Risa said.
“My best advice to heal princess Cordelia is by taking away all of her knowledge of her brother’s powers. I’ll change the memories, but keep the fun,” he said as he showed them what he was doing. “She will live.”
His mother and aunt let out sighs of relief.
“So she won’t know I have powers anymore?”
“No, your highness. Your powers are quite powerful, and you must be careful. If you are not careful your powers will consume you till there is nothing left, but darkness and evil. If you learn how to use your powers properly though, then you’ll be only joy and light to this world. Be careful young prince. Your powers could be the life or death of you.”
Thomas watched as the royal family walked away. Well, he watched as Alastair walked away. He looked so sad. Thomas then heard the clock chime. It’s midnight! Mama and papa are definitely going to kill me! As he and Oscar left, he told Buxton he’ll come and visit him tomorrow and promise not to tell a soul. There is one soul though Thomas will tell. I can’t wait to tell Christopher what happened!
As they were leaving his aunt got down to eye level with him and said, “it’s time to start training.”
“Risa, he’s just a boy-“
“No, Sona. He needs to learn how to use his powers now! I don’t care what Elias says. Your son has an amazing gift, and he should embrace it,” she then smiled at him. “Then perhaps one day Layla will be able to know you again and you are then free to be yourself to her.”
Alastair looked at his mother then back at Risa.
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