my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.
i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged
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if the pain isn't my fault then why do I feel guilty?
(society has led you to believe you are a burden for needing help)
I want to love my body but some days I hate it
(your body is trying its best to keep you going, but I understand why you feel that way)
I want to pause everything, I don't want to feel like this anymore
(me too. maybe we could just sit together for awhile?)
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why aren't ramps the standard? they're so much easier to walk up, like why did society just keep choosing stairs when ramps benefit like everyone?
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Tremors: a zine about being an artist with chronic shaky hands!
hello !! I’m atomic, and we’re an artist with a mild hand/limb tremor, so what better thing to do then make a zine about it 👀
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but seriously, i can't believe how far i've gone. and how i should be really proud of myself.
11 years of never-ending pain, of learning how to ignore and endure it, how to look and act "normal".
then my first shitty canes (they're pretty but completely unusable). first steps. first shame. how i was afraid to show up at work with it.
after that, i ordered a custom cane. and then another one. i decorated them. made them vibing. i started taking it to work, still afraid to use it around my colleagues.
then i got three house canes (first and second ones got chewed by my beloved dog lol) and started using it at home as well.
and now i use it everywhere i go. when i walk my dog, when i go to my lunch break on work, when i get around my apartment.
i got forearm crutches and learned how to use them. i decorated them too! they're yellow, covered in flowers stickers.
today i started saving up for my future rollator. i believe i'll be able to actually order it by june.
it all happened too fast, i still have impostor syndrome, i still feel self-conscious, like i'm not actually disabled and don't belong to cpunk communtiy and i'm a faker etc etc etc... but one thing happened: i improved my life. (even if i'm a faker lol) i got less pain every day, less fatigue, i stopped being ashamed at least of my canes.
my best friend was a big part of this journey, without her support i'd never get here. love her so much.
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something that isn’t talked about enough with chronic illness is knowing that going to your appointments and doing your exercises and all that will help but being in too much pain or too fatigued to go, so your just stuck in this constant cycle of knowing what you need to do to get better but not being able to do it because your sick
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I love how I will wake up from a nightmare and then not be able to move much from the bed that day. Really adds a level of helplessness and panic in this 'struggle for survival' type life.
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people with chronic pain will go “ why can’t I sleep well? Why am I crying for no reason? Why am I getting frustrated easily ?” Not yet realizing their pain got worse
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