#chronic pain posting

[visgrapplinghooks]

I think… there's a certain part of the human brain that craves attention when we are suffering. Deep down, we all want people to take care of us when we feel sick. Like when we're kids and our parents would feed us and and dote on us. Especially when your parents were otherwise… not good to you, being ill was the one time you got positive attention and compassion.

With chronic pain and illness, you don't tune out that desire to be doted on and loved in times of suffering. You force yourself to ignore that need because you think it'll never be fulfilled by the people around you. Where's my mom to make me soup when I'm sick or check my temperature? Where's my friends to drop by just to see how I'm doing?

And I think I'm often caught between wanting support from the people around me and not wanting to feel like a burden. Then I avoid reaching out to get support and then feel resentment towards others for not giving me the support and attention I wanted deep down.

I'm not entirely blameless in my social frustrations related to my chronic pain, but I do think there's something to be said about how devastatingly isolating it can feel to be a person with chronic pain/disability/illness and know that you will never get your needs from others fully fulfilled to the extent you want. Learning to find that balance of tempering your expectations, fulfilling your own needs, and communicating to your support system what specifically you need. At least... I hope that's something I can learn as a skill over time.

A stable and proactive social support system is one of the most important things a chronically pained person can have, I think.

#chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronically fatigued #chronic disability #disability #disabled #disabilities #actually disabled #chronic pain posting #spoonie #fibromyalgia

[moominpapa]

i wish i could live a day not in pain. im 18. i shouldn’t have the body of a 90 year old.

#fibromyalgia #chronic pain posting

[eversio]

God. I took yesterday fully off rather than just working from home because I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest. My body rewarded me with feeling even worse, not being able to sleep at all, and now I will likely have to take today off too. And just like that, that’s all of my sick time gone after I spent 2 months building it back up. I am so fucking tired of living in this body!!!!

#personal #chronic pain posting #times like these really do have me wanting to deactivate my almonds #I feel like I can never win no matter what I do #fibromyalgia

[what-immortal-hand-or-eye]

my hands hurt. my muscles hurt. my head hurts. i feel nauseated. very bad pain day.

#personal notes #chronic pain posting

[futchgunk]

cw: blood

so i threw uup blood when i got home last night and it wasnt dark red it was light and it only happened when i was retching and not when i was spitting or rinsing. best case scenario is an esophageal tear, and worst case is something worse. im gonna take another day off so i rest and transmute my mental from fragile porcelain to something steeled and immutable again. i want to believe this is a mere blip. i am someone who loves our body very much and we resonate with it very strongly so it feels humiliating and even shameful to know that something is happening to it because of our actions (or lackthereof). i have a deep distrust of the medical community, yet if this happens again, i have to seek medical attention before it progresses. i dont think we would ever forgive me if my neglect caused us harm.

irl mutuals this is a chronicpainpost abt last nigght im okay and tired. i feel like a sponge w/ too much water in it only bc i had been obsessing about hanging out for like 10days b4 the gig so i was rly looking forward 2 hanging out :':':':'). im so excited for this lil teaparty its gonna b a dream come true ::::)

#chronic pain posting

[oddestishottest]

I want to cut myself every day

But I don't

Body balloons in the stagnance

Like a mushroom

Life from death, damp, in the dark

Nothing that would call to a passerby

Underfoot

Soft

Wasting away

Hate myself so much that it takes every ounce of strength I have not to cut myself off

As I take up more space

Nobody ever warned me that growth was this ugly

Dying while so alone, so alive

In the chrysalis, a mess of skin and bones

And ugly mess of what I once was

Forgot where I'm going, forgot where I've been

Chrysalis

Please protect me from the pain somehow

Because wings are out of the reach of my imagination

Dying while so alive, so alone

Locked away

Wasn't even my choice

I'm the compost of my own mistakes

I don't think I have this figured out

I hope something does

Is that God?

Is God the chrysalis?

Or the death inside?

Cause dying never gets the credit it deserves

Everybody ignores the primordial ooze that came before

Everyone cheers on the butterfly

-Chrysalis

#personal #stream of consciousness #body dysmorphia #chronic pain posting #tw self h4rm #poetry #writing #chrysalis #this took me all of one minute but it somehow finally allowed me to cry #i hate crying and i hate my body and i hate being in so much fucking pain all the time

[templeofshame]

Going camping with chronic pain for the first time this weekend and realizing most of my methods for mitigating pain require electricity or are unwieldy to pack, and even my pt exercises kinda require private space with a floor and a wall. There is some indoor space so that might be ok but I don't think I can expect a microwave or freezer so, uh... wish me and my air mattress and my back luck!

#i should be able to take my posture vest #and of course digestive sludge #which i guess is a different chronic issue #chronic pain posting

[likhopinetree]

chronic pain. that's it that's the post

#chronic pain is a bitch #like how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #i can't even sit on chair in the office like a human being #chronic pain posting #chronically ill #more like chronically chill

[alren-ki]

That Ability sure can Dis.

#chronic pain posting #Ren ain't abled

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

ow

#chronic pain posting #cats.txt

[theghostinthemargins]

ow ow ow ow ow

#chronic pain posting #no idea why I’m posting this actually #I’m having a perfectly nice day apart from the agony #but OW

[eversio]

Pain level today: fantasizing about removing body parts

#personal #fibromyalgia #chronic pain posting

[criminalizegolf]

By far the FUNNIEST part of chronic pain is people constantly telling me that they couldn't live "like that" because, I mean, it's not like I've got another option?

The second funniest part is that I have absolutely no concept of a relative pain scale for any other part of my body which causes me to unknowingly ignore serious injuries

#canadian healthcare-core #medically assisted death for the constant owies :( #chronic pain posting

[what-immortal-hand-or-eye]

Me: why am i so tired and achy today (moreso than usual)

Me: (remembers that I have fuckbody syndrome and there’s a massive storm system moving through)

Me: riiiiight

#personal notes #chronic pain posting

[futchgunk]

just a bunch of bile

#in bed for 6 hours #just to summon sheer will #chronic pain posting

[soupgalaxy]

woke up and my spine feels like it’s on fire. i usually wake up with back pain but i can usually stretch/pop it and it feels better but i am extremely stiff and don’t know what to do. it might be because i am staying with my parents and my mattress at their house is extra firm for some reason (the one at my apartment has a 3-inch memory foam topper so i’m more used to that) but i was just here for thanksgiving and this didn’t happen? i’m not sure what to do i tried to sit at my desk and work because i have a paper to turn in today but it hurt so bad i just laid back down. i love having back issues at 21 /s it’s so great /s i definitely don’t feel like i’m 65 years old /s

#rambling #chronic pain posting