chronic illness is when “fuck my knee is out of place. but too tired to move.”
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Much love to you all💜
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As the work/school day goes on...
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Hello friends!! I wanted to tell you all about an event I'm taking part in called the Virtual Sick and Disabled Zine + Craft Fair!! It's kind of like a virtual artist alley made up exclusively of sick & disabled artists!!
There's a TON of super cool art & zines relating to Soo many different things, you're bound to find something you like!! There are also live tabler sessions to learn more about some of the artists taking part in the event, and some workshops too!! Check it out if you can & support some disabled artists!!! Or reblog to spread the word!! ✨
Below is a random assortment of things from my & my partners table (Sad Clown Club)!! You can check it out here, we have prints, stickers, handmade jewlery, mobility aid accessories, & more!!! We are trying to make a living off our art right now since we are unable to work, so your support means the world!! Thanks for reading!!! 🤡💕
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HTM, ableist public transportation company
I want to talk about public transportation, specifically about the busses from the company HTM. HTM is the public transportation company of The Hague, which is where I live.
Something you should know about me; I use a walker. Fibro causes such intense pain in my legs, that I need a walker to get around. On days that I'm in less pain, I use a cane. But I always have some type of mobility aid. HTM has never, ever been accomodating to me.
I'll start with an incident of a few weeks ago. I was using my cane and got on the bus. Before I could sit down, the bus driver started driving with full speed. This caused me to fall and hit my knee. I texted my partner about this, and he immediately went to the bus stop I was getting off so he could to talk to my bus driver for me. He angriliy asked her why she didn't wait for me to sit down. Because now I was in a lot of pain because she caused me to fall. Her response was: "Well if she's in so much pain, you should be taking care of her instead of talking to me." We filed a complaint, but nothing came of it.
Another time, the bus driver just didn't let me get off the bus. I had to get off at the next stop, and had to wait 30 minutes for the bus so I could go back to my stop. Filed in a complaint, HTM gave me some story about how the bus driver is only allowed to stop at a designated bus stop and not anywhere else. I think they might have gotten my complaint confused with someone else's. I replied to them that I wasn't talking about that at all. Never got a response.
Today consisted of 2 incidents. I got on the bus today with my walker. Important to know: every HTM bus I have ever used, has an area designated for wheelchairs, walkers and buggies. Right next to that area, are 4 seats for disabled, elderly and/or pregnant people. I walk towards the area for my walker, but before I can put it on the breaks, the bus starts driving at full speed. 2 people are somehow claiming all 4 of the special needs seats, and aren't making any room for me. I was forced to STAND, because I cannot walk in a moving bus and the only seats near me weren't being made available to me.
The second incident: this was on the way back home. I was getting off the bus. Because of my walker, I'm a little slower. Especially because there is a very big gap between the bus and the bus stop. While I was carrying the walker out of the door, the bus driver tried to close the doors on me! I pushed them back open and waited a few seconds before I continued with getting off the bus.
I just can't believe how HTM keeps getting away with this ableism. It's always this particular company that gives me grief. So I am done with filing complaints and getting the same response over and over again. I am sharing this everywhere I can. I don't think the people at HTM's customer service understand how degrading this behaviour is. So I am done. This is what it feels like.
I am asking anyone to please share this post. Either be reblogging here on tumblr, sending it to your friends and or/family or sharing the link on a different social media platform you use. Enough is enough, it's time HTM faces the consequences.
(Image used below belongs to HTM)
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Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.
It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.
You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.
You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.
You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence
You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.
You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.
You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.
You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.
Faking is a conscious choice.
You cannot do it by accident.
If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.
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even "mild" chronic pain can suck. really bad. your body just aches constantly and even though it's minor, it can eat away at you. please take your pain seriously no matter how bad you think it is. no one deserves to endure it if it's not something that can be treated or mitigated.
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it is not morally wrong to not be able to work, go to school, do heavy labor, walk long distances, or even walk at all. you haven’t done anything wrong, and you can’t help having these problems with your body. able-bodied people need to stop assigning moral value to things many disabled people cannot do. you are not a bad person for having limits, or for knowing and respecting them.
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Dr. : do you experience any of these (Covid) symptoms?
Chronically ill people:
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Even better if you relaxolotl with some snaxolotl.
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my body’s check engine light is on
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Wound from the Mouth of a Wound, ‘Before the Not-Child’s Not-Howl’ by Torrin A. Greathouse
[ID: I search for beauty / in the world as if I were new. / Gather it in fistfuls. Tongue the sun / -light. Teeth against the buttermilk moon.]
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When my doctor runs out of ideas...
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Shout out to disabled people who cant use reusable/waste free products.
You aren’t a bad person for needing one time use products.
I know people made disabled folks feel bad when the whole plastic straw thing was going on but those people are wrong. You aren’t the cause of the damage being done to the environment, you aren’t a bad person, your individual needs are completely understandable.
It’s billionaires and huge companies causing issues, not you needing to manage your disability.
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fun fact: not being able to remember information about people, no matter how much you are shamed for it, does not make you a bad person. you weren't just "not paying attention", you forgot because forgetting is a natural process and sometimes your brain dumps the wrong things out. forgetting does NOT make you a bad person!! especially if you have disorders that give you memory loss!! also, chronic fatigue really does fuck up your memory, and people who say "oh you must not care because you forgot" have no idea what you're going through!! it's an asshole thing to say and you are NOT at fault for not remembering.
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There are no rules on when to be productive.
If you cannot function in the morning
You can do your work, homework, chores, etc. at 3am
You can go grocery shopping at 11:29pm on a thursday
You can shower, make your bed, brush your teeth at 3pm
You can write an essay in your bed at 9pm and go to bed at 1am
Don't force yourself to wake up at 5am to be productive and then think the day's ruined when you wake at noon
Doing something in a weird way is still doing something
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People: you can't have x medical condition! You already have y medical condition
Science: medical conditions get lonely so they like to keep buddies. Have fun collecting them all! Muahaha!!!
Me crying: but they aren't Pokémon
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