Exactly half an hour later, you walked into the reading room and sat down on one of the large lounges, but Tommy was nowhere to be seen until, eventually, you heard a noise coming from one of the doors.
Turning towards the sound, you saw Tommy entering the reading room, holding a cake with a single-lit birthday candle on it.
“I had Frances pick it up earlier today and intended to have my brother give it to you but, since he is not here and it is already late, I am taking it upon myself to wish you a happy birthday instead” Tommy said and you were somewhat surprised by his gesture since both, your father and your husband Finn had forgotten about your birthday.
"Tommy, you didn't have to do this” you said, cheeks blushing red.
"It’s fine Y/N. Go on make a wish, eh" he said staring at you intently. Closing your eyes, you did what you were told and, when you opened them, you gazed up at Tommy and blew out the candle.
"So, what did you wish for Love?" he asked.
"I am not supposed to say until it comes through Tommy, don't you know how wishes work?" you ask all innocent.
"Of course I do, Love” Tommy chuckled before handing you a glass of whiskey. “But, I am also known to be a man with great influence and money and may be able to make your wish come true the old-fashioned way if you tell me what you have wished for” Tommy then winked and your cheeks began to blush again.
“Not this wish, Tommy. It cannot be bought with money nor will influence help you in fulfilling it” you then said.
“I am intrigued now, Love. It would be impolite not to tell me now” Tommy said and you gasped and nodded with some embarrassment. Saying no to Thomas Shelby was difficult and you took a deep breath before telling him what you had wished for.
“I wished for another kiss” you then stammered out.
“Another kiss? From whom? Your husband?” Tommy said with a hint of sarcasm as he was sipping on his Whiskey.
“Not from my husband, Tommy…from you” you said nervously, causing Tommy to gasp.
“From me, eh?” he asked somewhat surprised before sighing deeply, causing you to nod and, just as you did, he nodded as well and caressed your face with one of his thumbs.
Without saying anything, Tommy leaned towards you and pressed his lips onto yours and you parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to explore yours.
The kiss was passionate and Tommy caressed your face as your soft lips pressed and moved against each other for what seemed like an eternity.
Then, eventually, Tommy pulled away from you carefully and his deep blue eyes gazed into yours.
“Are you sure a kiss is all you want?” Tommy then asked while his hand was still caressing your face and you nervously began to shake your head while looking down at your hands, holding onto the glass of whiskey.
“I know it’s wrong Tommy, I am sorry…but I want to be with you…” you stammered out and Tommy interrupted you quickly when he noticed how nervous you were.
“You want to be with me how?’ he smirked, making you blush even more. ‘I need you to say it’ he then said and you began to stammer again.
‘I want to…uhm…feel you’ you said, biting your lips nervously, causing Tommy to chuckle.
‘Feel me, eh?’ Tommy laughed, thinking that your shyness and nervousness was sweet and, without saying anything else, you nodded again.
“So, you want me to fuck you?” Tommy then asked bluntly, causing you to gulp and nod once more before huffing out a quiet ‘yes’ and your reaction was answer enough for him.
“Well, that’s some wish Love” Tommy then chuckled before standing up and reaching for your hand.
“What are you doing?” you asked somewhat surprised.
“Making your wish come true” Tommy said with a cheeky smile before leading you upstairs to his bedroom.
As soon as the bedroom door closed behind you both, he smashed his lips on to yours again and, as if you were being moved by marionettes, you began to slowly dance in small circles around the room.
Nibbling and pulling, he sipped from your lips with so much passion that your legs began to tremble and you stumbled over your own feet in nervousness.
"Are you alright, Love?" Tommy asked with some amusement as he held you tight.
“Yes, I am fine, just a bit flustered. I want this. But we shouldn’t be doing this” you responded.
"Probably not. Do you want to stop?" Tommy then asked and, of course, you didn’t want to.
“No Tommy” you gasped and Tommy was quick to guide you onto the bed and, within moments, you found yourself beneath him while he kissed you passionately.
After a while, however, he began to notice that your apprehension had grown and more nervousness had set in within your system.
“Am I moving too fast for you?" he asked, caressing your face and you shook your head in response.
“No, it’s just that I have never done this before” you admitted.
“You never had sex?” Tommy asked stunned and you nodded.
“Not even once? I mean, you’ve been married for a year…” he then said rather surprised and you shook your head nervously.
“No, I am a virgin Tommy” you explained, causing him to sigh before letting go off you.
“I am not the kind of man you would want your first time to be with Love, trust me” Tommy then said but you pulled him close again.
“Please Tommy” you said and you could see that Tommy was torn about the situation.
“Fuck” Tommy said eventually before he nodded and pressed his lips back onto yours in a haste.
“How can my brother not be attracted to you, eh? Look at you, you are fucking beautiful” he then said, causing you to smile and, at this moment, his expression became almost sinister. The quiet Tommy was gone and you knew that you had just given him a challenge.
He wanted to pleasure you, making sure that you would never forget this night and, whilst you were a little scared, you were also a lot turned on.
Tommy slowly pushed your dress down to your ankles and then lifted you out of it. You stared up into his eyes and licked your suddenly dried lips. Your breasts were pressed against him, and you were now lying there only in your underwear.
“You're wearing too much clothing Tommy” you realised when you gazed at him on top of you.
"Not for what I am about to do Y/N" he said, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around so that you were on all fours on the bed.
"Put your hands on the bedhead" he demanded in a dangerous tone. Looking over your shoulder you saw him looking at your ass longingly, as his breathing escalated.
You were ready to do just about anything he asked you to do and placed both of your hands on the bedhead and awaited his command.
After he got rid of his vest, leaving him wearing only his shirt and pants, he kneeled up behind you and pressed his fabric covered cock against your backside as his hands came up and took your breasts, kneading them as he gently pushed against you.
The feel of his hard length against your ass was making you crazy. His fingers spread apart and took your nipples between them, pinching a little which caused you to intake your breath and lift your ass in the air higher.
"Oh, that feels amazing Tommy” you moaned as he began to kiss your neck and shoulders at the same time.
"Mmmm, pinch them harder Tommy" you eventually demanded as your sense of speech left your body. What was left was only feelings. And you felt yourself getting wetter than you had ever been before.
Your thong was soaked through, and you rubbed your ass against his cock, begging him to touch your pussy.
"You are gorgeous Y/N” Tommy said as his hand slid down your body and stopped at your hips, while the other hand continued going around your hips to your stomach then down into your panties. His fingers gently glide over and circled your awaiting clit.
"Oh God, Tommy” you moaned as you were opening your legs and you pushed yourself into his hardened cock.
"That's it Y/N, spread your legs nice and wide for me” Tommy then groaned into your ear.
He used your movement as a rhythm and gently slid a finger in and out of you, making you tremble. Your body was melting into him, and you were about to collapse onto the bed as he continued his teasing for at least ten or fifteen minutes before adding another finger.
“Does that hurt?” Tommy asked as he carefully inserted the second finger into you.
“A little, but don’t stop…please” you moaned and he didn’t stop, thrusting in and out of you with his fingers gently, warming you up.
Eventually, after another ten minutes or so, his fingers slid out of your panties, and you almost cried with the emptiness he left behind. He grabbed your hips with both hands and pushed into your ass, groaning out with ecstasy.
"Fuck, Y/N, you're making me lose my mind" he groaned as, without any warning, he spun you around and you almost fell with the suddenness of his heated action.
You quickly grabbed him as he caught you and you clung to his shoulders breathing heavily. His mouth came crashing down onto yours and the passionate kiss that followed set your body on fire. His hands were everywhere while his tongue swirled in your mouth. Your passion was on the edge of explosion. He growled and held your face, turning your head so he could deepen the kiss.
He tasted of whiskey and cigar, those flavors made you moan into his mouth before he pulled back and stood up in front of the bed in order to take off his shirt.
When you opened your eyes, you saw him slowly unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a well-toned body and some tattoos.
"Fuck Tommy, you are gorgeous” you said. He smiled devilishly as his suit pants followed by his briefs as they dropped to the floor. You covered your eyes feigning shock but made sure to peek through your fingers.
His cock was as impressive as the rest of his body. Without another word, he unhurriedly climbed onto the bed. He leaned in and began kissing your neck, licking and sucking until you were certain that he left a mark.
Then he sat up and winked at you and you wondered what would be next.
‘What are you going to do now Tommy?’ you asked nervously as he grinned at you.
‘Now, I am going to make you cum so fucking hard’ he said as he flung one of your legs over his body, straddling your hips as he pulled you down on the bed and made you spread your legs widely.
‘Look at you, you are so fucking wet already’ Tommy groaned as he admired your pussy from a much closer distance and you couldn’t help but blush. What on earth was he doing with his face so close to your most intimate body part, you wondered.
To your surprise, Tommy then leaned in and rested his face just above your soaked pussy.
‘Tommy, what are you…?’ you asked with a mix of genuine concern and excitement in your voice but, before you could finish your question, Tommy dived into your pussy, lapping up your juices.
‘Oh my god’ you moaned loudly as Tommy began to pleasure you with his tongue, running it through your slit before he began to lick and suck on your clit, which was already over-sensitive from all his teasing.
You moaned loudly at every lick and Tommy’s tongue was relentless.
‘Oh god Tommy, fuck this feels good’ you moaned rocking your hips back and forth as Tommy was burying his tongue deeper into your pussy, twisting and turning it with every lick.
He was sending you into pure ecstasy and you soon arched your back and clutched the bedsheets.
‘Fuck, oh my god’ you eventually screamed, not knowing what was happening to your body as you came. Your body was jerking violently from your orgasm and Tommy held you down until you could not take anymore.
Eventually, when you came down from your high, he let go of you and kissed a trail up your body until he reached your mouth, making you taste yourself.
‘You taste so fucking good’ Tommy then groaned after he pulled away from your lips and you were still panting. Finally, you knew what this was all about, the pleasure and the feeling of your first ever orgasm.
After Tommy allowed you some time to recover, kissing and caressing you, he moved on top of you. You bit your lower lip and gazed at him from under your eyelids. Your gaze was heavy with desire.
‘Are you ready?’ he then asked gently as he lined himself up with your entrance while his piercing blue eyes starred into yours.
‘Yes Tommy’ you moaned and, with his rigid cock in his hand, he began moving it back and forth along your pussy lips until he pushed the tip inside of you before pulling it out. You tensed up from the slight sting that you received.
‘Relax Love, don’t tense’ he said as he leaned into you. He then went in for another small thrust. His cock felt so hot and stiff and he let out a loud groan.
Sliding both of his hands below your ass, he drew you closer to him and squeezed your softness.
“Relax Love, I will do my best not to hurt you” he said again and you nodded before his cock dipped inside you just a little further than before.
He then took his fingers and brought them to his mouth sucking on them a little, then he placed them between your legs gliding his wet fingers on your swollen clit.
He moved his fingers in a circular motion slowly at first, then faster until you were screaming from the magic that he gave to you. He was very gentle as he thrusted in and out of your pussy, but never pushed all of his lengths into you, which drove you insane. Your pussy was slick now as you felt him flicking your clit faster and faster until you were about to come again.
“Fuck Tommy…I need you inside me, all of you” you moaned.
"Patience Y/N” he said as he took your legs and wrapped them around his torso bringing me you closer to him. This movement caused his cock to slip a little further into you until he could feel your barrier.
Tommy sighed and you nodded, knowing what would be next as he pressed his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss just before, with one thrust, his cock slammed through your barrier, burying himself to the hilt.
You screamed out from the pain as you began to hyperventilate and Tommy stopped moving for a moment.
“It’s okay Love, we can stop” Tommy said, calming you down with kisses and gentle caresses but you shook your head.
“No don’t stop” you said as the pain subsided and Tommy began to move at a slow and steady pace, picking up speed and going faster and harder.
Between the thrusting, you shared several soft and passionate kisses and the initial uncomfortableness soon turned into absolute bliss, a bliss that went on and on for at least thirty minutes as Tommy made love to you gently and passionately, slowing down every time he felt that you were getting close.
"That feels so good Tommy, don't stop" you eventually begged while wiggling your hips until your body began to shake and quiver. There was no holding back now and Tommy knew and, this time, he didn’t slow down.
“Oh my god, yes…fuck” you moaned as another orgasm began to wash over you in no time and you got a bit light-headed from the intensity and force from the climax that he gave you.
‘That’s it Love, come all over my cock’ he groaned as he put both of his hands on either side of your head as he began to slam into your wet and slippery pussy.
You could feel the difference in his movements as he was about to cum and, with one loud groan, he thrusted into you until his movement stopped.
‘Jesus Y/N, fuck’ you heard him shudder as you felt a sudden warmness within you and he filled you with rope after rope of his cum. Then he collapsed on your chest, groaning into your hair.
“That was amazing Tommy” you huffed out as he pulled out and rolled onto his back staring at you as you tried to catch your breath.
"Does it hurt? Was I too forceful?" he asked you in a worried voice but you shook your head.
“No, it was perfect” you said as you leaned into him and kissed his lips. Your tongues quickly found their rhythm and began a slow dance. He gently ran his fingers through your hair and caressed your face while you stroked the muscles on his ribs and stomach feeling their strength.
Then, you slowly inched your way lower in an unhurried exploration of his body and your mouth found its way on his stomach and his fingers were now running through your hair.
Working your way down to his pelvis, you kissed each bone gaining a small gasp from him. Then you slowly dragged your tongue along the length of his hard cock.
“What are you doing?” he groaned in surprise as he placed one hand behind his head while the other gripped his hardened member.
“What I saw one of the maids do to you the other night” you said, thinking that it was only fair if you returned the favour and Tommy let out a groan in approval.
Within no time, you wrapped your mouth around his hard member just as you witnessed the other night.
“Go deeper baby, you're doing so well," he growled but his growl was cut short when you lifted your body over him and took his entire length down your throat letting your tongue wrap around him. You slid your mouth up and down his cock until it reached the back of your throat and you played with his balls while the other hand gently twisted his nipples, one at a time.
"Oh god Y/N" he groaned as his hips rose to meet your mouth in violent thrusts. When he felt full to bursting and your mouth was slick with saliva, you took his cock out of your mouth, leaving your hand in its place to slowly stroke him.
“Can I put it back into my pussy? I am still so…I don’t know…I want you again” you stammered, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen.
“By all means Love, take what you need” Tommy growled excitedly before pulling you on top of him.
Moving forward you placed one leg on either side of his body. Then, you took his cock in your hand and guided it into your wet and slippery pussy. Tommy threw his head back with his eyes closed as you lowered yourself inch by inch onto his hard cock until he was buried inside your pussy.
Slowly you began to roll your hips onto his cock until he reached up to hold your hips.
“Stay still Love” he instructed as he began thrusting into you with a force you had never dreamed was possible.
“Tommy, oh fuck, it feels so good" you shouted as tears streamed down your face and you leaned over and held his chest for balance.
“You are so fucking tight Love, I never want to stop fucking you” Tommy groaned in response as you arched your back and lifted your ass of him some more until only the head of his cock was inside you. You rolled your hips teasing the head of his cock.
“Stop teasing Love…fuck” Tommy eventually groaned as he was unable to endure your torture any longer and he grabbed your hips and pulled you back down so that he was sheathed inside your heated cave.
The feeling of his hands on your hips as he filled you up caused an explosion of pleasure to erupt throughout your body. Another orgasm hit you and let out a loud moan and dug your nails into his chest, rocking and rotating your hips in a frenzy. Your bodies seemed to fit perfectly together. Leaning forward to kiss him deeply, he took that opportunity to grab your ass and thrust into you at full speed. You whimpered at the intensity this caused, as your bodies were now clapping together like hands.
“Cum for me Tommy” you moaned as you began to roll your hips faster on his cock. You reached behind yourself to cup his already tightening balls and he thrusted into you once more as his orgasmic explosion hit him at full force, rocking your bodies to the point where you were thrown forward onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist and ground his cock into your pussy.
Feeling more of his cum shooting inside of you and hearing his groans sent you over the edge and into your very own climax once again. You screamed and you felt as if you were losing control over your body. Your pussy gripped his cock in an attempt to keep all of him inside of you as you collapsed on top of him.
“Jesus Y/N” Tommy huffed out eventually, still panting himself and then you let him slip out of you before collapsing by his side.
For a while, you were laying there silently in your thoughts until you felt him kiss your forehead. You sat up and looked at him as he smiled deviously.
“Satisfied?” he asked, referring to the wish you made earlier that night.
“Absolutely” you then said.
“And I haven’t even given you your actual birthday present yet Love” Tommy then said as he stood up and walked over to where his jacket was hanging up.
From his pocket, he retrieved a small key and handed it to you after he climbed back into bed and lit himself a cigarette.
‘What is this, Tommy?’ you asked, snatching the cigarette from him and forcing him to light himself another.
‘The keys to your new house. It’s just outside Birmingham with lots of land and some staples for some horses’ he explained and your eyes widened.
‘I thought you needed Finn to stay in London?’ you asked somewhat surprised.
‘That’s right. I need Finn to stay in London, but you can stay wherever you want. If you decide to stay here, no one will force you to live your husband. It won’t be like your life in Boston where you had to share your home with my brother. Finn will be registered at your Birmingham address but he will travel for work to London quite frequently. I have already purchased him an apartment there’ Tommy then explained, sending a smile across your face.
‘Okay, that sounds reasonable. I have one condition though’ you said.
‘And what condition might that be, eh?’ Tommy asked.
‘That you visit me and fuck me senseless at least once per week’ you winked, causing Tommy to laugh.
‘Just once a week Love?’ Tommy chuckled before kissing you passionately and wrapping you up in his arms.
Pairing- Cillian Murphy and Reader -Not based on his Real Life
Warning- I am not a midwife, I go on my own experience.
That afternoon, you were both sitting in the waiting room. It was a private clinic, but busy for a Saturday. You were still feeling terrible, barely managed to get yourself dressed. You’d forced yourself to brush your hair and put a bit of make up on.
Opting for a midi dress, you’re bump evident in the style you wore. As usual, it was full of couples. Looking around, Cillian felt guilty you were going to come on your own. “Is it always this busy? With couples?” He whispered to you.
“Yeah, I’m the whore of the clinic,” you joked. He instantly frowned at you, “No you’re not,” Shoving him with your shoulder, you laughed, “I’m just kidding,” He had been to as many appointments as he could with Cian. But he knew this was all new to you.
“Y/n Y/L/n,” the midwife called. You both stood up, Cillian took your hand and headed towards her. You could see the looks as people recognised him. He was oblivious. She led you into the room and sat down. “Ah, is this Daddy?” She asked, she was an older lady, clearly experienced though.
“Yes, I’m Daddy,” he said, shaking her hand. "Nice to see you here today, Daddy," She wrote in her notes, “Right, we will take blood, check your blood pressure, ok my love?” You nodded, feeling nauseous again. “You don’t look good today, no colour in your cheeks,” she commented.
“She’s been really sick, hasn’t kept anything down. Not even water,” he explained. “Right, well you are in the right place, my love. Go and do me a wee wee, can’t have you getting dehydrated for baby,” She waved her hand for you to go. Handing you a tube to pee in.
As you stood up, you lost your balance. Cillian caught you, “Low blood sugar, go on, off you go. Daddy can help you,” she had clearly dealt with this a thousand times. She didn't even blink, as she wrote in her notes.
Leading you into the bathroom, you sat on the toilet. “I can’t go with you listening, Cill,” you complained. He chuckled, trying to hide his humour. “You’ve done more explicit acts in front of me,” he raised his eyebrow. “Shh! She might hear you!” You chastised him.
“Turn around at least,” you asked. Finally managing to pee, you made your way back to the midwife. “Right, mmm, ok, it seems there are ketones in your urine. That could be lack of food, so low blood sugar. You are dehydrated, we need to check your blood for anaemia too,”
“I'm ok though? She’s ok?” You asked panicked. “Jump on the bed, we will listen in to baby and make sure,” she advised. Cillian looked worried, taking your hand. He helped you onto the surgical bed. Having to lift up your dress, she poured gel on your tummy and listened to the heart.
“Strong girl in there, Mummy and Daddy,” she smiled. You breathed a sigh of relief. Cillian looked emotional, “Wow, is that her?” He asked, amazed. "Certainly is, sounds like a train, she quite happy," she reassured. He helped you up from the bed, kissing your cheek as he did. A look of awe on his face.
“Right, mummy needs to rest, get fluids in. Or you will be admitted to the EPU,” You had no idea what she was talking about. “Early Pregnancy Unit, my love,” she explained. "I will let them know, pop in to see them tomorrow. They can check you again,"
“I can’t be admitted there. I have to work Monday.” You told her. “You won’t be working like this, you have to think of baby. Doesn’t she Daddy?” She said sternly. "I will take care of her, make sure she gets checked again." Cillian said.
"I'm going to be sick," you said, she quickly handed you a cardboard bed pan. "Oh, my little love. These days will pass just try to remember that," She handed Cillian all of the information he needed.
"Anything changes, ring the EPU straight away. Try to get fluids in within the next few hours. Go there at 10 in the morning for another check up," He thanked her leading you out, with the bed pan. The whole waiting room was staring at you. "Don't tell me none of you ever get sick!" you snapped, storming out. Cillian held his humour in as he followed you out.
He had never seen you lose your temper. Storming ahead of him, to the car he chuckled to himself. His began to ring, it was Sian, six times this morning. He knew he would have to speak to her. But, he couldn't leave you like this. He pressed the button for the car to open, opening the door you climbed in.
Arms folded, staring straight ahead. "You ok?" he asked as he got in, starting the engine. "Oh yeah, I am great never been better!" you snapped at him. "Is it about the hospital?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.
"I will be fine, if I keep something down, I have to go to work Cill," He sighed, "You have to think of yourself and the baby, Y/n, that's more important," You didn't answer, he decided to let you cool off, as he drove you home.
I came out here to apologise. You know. I find myself, at the midpoint of my life, in a dark wood, and now I’m here, in the forest of my mind, and every tree is shame, every living thing is a reprimand, and I realise, I must speak freely now, before I lose you.
Jonathan Crane during the time he was still a teacher getting to know a girl who has some mental disorder and getting fascinated by the way she deals with her problems (don’t even know if this makes sense, and if it doesn’t you can do only something for Crane, babe), pretty please? For the moodboard thing.
she's clinging to the nearest passer-by – she's lost control
jonathan crane definitely maintains professionalism with all his students. especially the ones that are peculiar as her.
Before you knew what was happening, you could hear Denise yell from the distance as blood streamed down from your arm.
You were still so numb from the medication and the anaesthesia that it took you at least a minute to register that your father had attacked Cillian soon after he saw you two being intimate with each other and, in the process of it, he had torn the canula from your arm accidentally.
While Cillian was pushing your father away from you, Denise called one of the nurses who attended your injuries and it was obvious to you that your father was furious.
But it wasn’t just Cillian he was angry with. He was also angry with you, calling you a slut again and causing Cillian to restraint him. Cillian wouldn’t let your father enter the room as he was worried that he would, once again, lose his temper and hit you.
‘You need to calm the fuck down’ Cillian said harshly as your father tried to fight him off.
‘You are a disgrace Murphy, taking advantage of her’ your father said angrily.
‘I am not taking advantage of her. She’s an adult, capable of making her own decisions. I didn’t force her to do anything and the sooner you realise this the better it will be for your relationship with her’ Cillian said calmly as he had no intention whatsoever to stand between you and your father.
‘She does what I tell her to do. She’s coming home with us’ your father then said as, despite all of this, your father was determined to take you back to Galway with him after you are being discharged.
‘Fat chance’ Denise huffed out as she walked past Cillian and your father to call security and it was, at this point, that your mother stepped in and calmed your father down.
‘Y/N can decide what she wants to do. It’s her choice and if she wants to stay with Cillian and Denise then that is up to her’ she said and Cillian nodded before he let go of your father.
Whilst Cillian didn’t hit back, he defended himself and he was prepared to defend you even in light of the black eye he had just received from your father.
As a father himself, he could understand why your father was upset but, reacting the way he did and usual does was never acceptable.
Luckily for you, the nurses were quick to stop your bleeding and the incident didn’t prevent you from being discharged that evening.
Regardless of this, you asked your father to leave. You didn’t want to be around him again unless and until he sought therapy for his anger issues and rage.
‘So, who am I discharging you to mam? You need supervision for the next 48 hours or otherwise you are required to stay in hospital overnight’ she said before she handed Cillian an icepack for his eye and he was just glad that the hospital staff was bound by confidentiality laws since this would have made an incredible news story.
‘Do you want to stay with me and Denise?’ Cillian asked and, of course, you nodded and smiled while your father was questioned by security and couldn’t interfere with your decision.
‘May I visit her tomorrow Cillian?’ your mother then asked, causing Cillian to nod.
‘Jesus, I can’t believe you are asking me for permission to see your daughter. That’s clearly not up to me’ Cillian chuckled since he had known your mother for many years and certainly didn’t have an issue with her visiting his house. It was just your father he had an issue with and didn’t want around you while he didn’t have his anger under control.
‘Just sort it out with Y/N, alright?’ Cillian then said and your mother nodded as she gave you a hug before joining your father and dragging him out of the hospital.
‘Now that was fun…’ Denise then said sarcastically as she returned to the room while Cillian was caressing your face once again, causing Denise to cringe.
‘Please don’t kiss when I am around’ she then said, sticking out her tongue in disgust before handing her father the discharge papers to sign.
When you got to Cillian’s house in the evening, he was quick to clear a comfortable spot for you on the lounge and helped you to lie down.
You grabbed the remote control and turned on Netflix while him and Denise prepared dinner. Whilst you felt terrible for not helping them, you knew that you couldn’t. You were still too unwell and drowsy and were thankful that they were both looking after you.
After dinner, Cillian snuggled up next to you on the lounge while Denise took the other lounge to herself and found a movie to watch.
‘So, uhm, just checking, what room am I going to sleep in?’ you eventually asked as it was getting late and Denise couldn’t help but roll her eyes when Cillian cocked an eyebrow.
‘Alright, the thought of you sharing a bed with my dad is just fucking weird, but I don’t mind. You guys do whatever you want’ Denise then said as she took another sip from her glass of wine.
‘Well, do you mind if I go to bed then? Because I am really tired’ you said, looking at Cillian as you did.
‘Of course not, I’ll be in soon’ he responded before pulling you close for a quick kiss which immediately caused Denise to choke on her wine.
Just as you excused yourself and made your way into Cillian’s bedroom, his phone rang, not once, not twice but three times after he failed to pick up.
Then Denise’s phone rang and she answered.
‘I need to talk to your father, right now!’ she heard her mother shout through the phone before handing her cell to Cillian.
‘I know what you are about to say, but I can’t fucking deal with it right now, okay?’ Cillian growled into the phone after he walked outside in order to talk to her privately.
‘You are out of your fucking mind Cillian. Your daughter’s friend, really? What is this, a midlife crisis?’ she shouted into the phone.
‘We are divorced and this is none of your business. I need you to back off, okay?’ Cillian responded, trying to remain calm but, what his ex-wife said next was something he couldn’t ignore.
‘Did you check social media? This is not about me. This is about Denise and Lucas and the shit they will have to deal with when people read about their father in this way. You need to end this Cillian’ she shouted before hanging up.
"I think we should go, Cillian, leave you all to it," Maria picked up her coat and bag, glaring at Orla for her to follow. "Don't leave on my account, I am the one being thrown out, over some ointment. Do you know the sacrifice I made to come here, Y/n?" Joan continued.
"Right, I think we all need to calm down for tonight. I can drive you to a hotel Joan," he offered, trying to get in-between you both. "Sacrifice? You've never sacrificed anything,"
Cillian tried to move you away, he had just calmed you down once.
You just couldn't stand her acting so innocent. "It's not about the ointment and you know it isn't. You just couldn't help but bring it up, and push and push me, like you always do,"
"You don't like to talk about the past, Y/n. Anyway, I have moved on, why can't you?" Orla reached for her coat a look of pity on her face. She didn't know whether to leave, or stay and help diffuse the situation.
"I have moved on! And that's what you cant stand!" You pointed in her face. "Baby, please come on," Cillian tried again to get you away from her.
"You hate the fact I moved away, made a new life, have my own job, my own money. I got away from you. I have found a man I love, who treats me right, would never lay on a finger on me."
Your emotions were spilling over, "Would never let his own child witness what we did!" you screamed at her.
The whole room went silent. The only sound that could be heard was your heavy breathing. She was actually crying now, "I, I, don't know what you want me to say, Y/n. Do you want me to say I made the wrong choices?" Cillian put his arm around you, you were too angry to be comforted.
"I know I did, being with your father wasn't a choice. I was stuck. I know he would change, I knew we could all be a happy family." she shrugged, believing her own words.
You could see Maria edging towards the door, uncomfortable. "Oh yeah? How did that work out? Phil was as bad as him, is he still around? Do you see him at the pub?" All of your years of built up anger, were flowing out of you.
Your Mum sunk into the kitchen chair, the fight gone from her. You leant forward, holding your head. The pain was horrendous, it felt like when you had first woke up after the fall.
"That is enough, ok? Y/n, you need to go and lay down." He took your shoulders and led you upstairs. No words spoken, what could you say? You had blurted out your life story in front of him and his family. Helping you climb into bed, he tucked you in. Wiping a tear away from your face.
"Please, baby, you need to rest. Promise me? You are making yourself ill. Today will pass, I need you. I need you for the next fifty years, at least," He looked emotional, worried. You just stared at his face, no expression. Your body was shaking. Slowly, you closed your eyes, feeling him kiss your cheek. "I love you," he whispered as he left the room.
Standing in the hallway, he composed himself before heading back down. The kitchen was quiet, Joan sniffling. The woman had obviously had a hard life, and he did feel sorry for her. Maria was trying to comfort her, Orla had poured herself a drink.
He didn't know what to say. Orla cleared her throat, "Right, this is what is going to happen. Joan, I will pack you some clothes. You can come and stay with me tonight." She knew you and your Mum needed to be separated. "Cill, you try and get some sleep, first thing in the morning, call the Doctor have Y/n checked over,"
He nodded, he was worried about your mental health. Half an hour later, they were gone. He slowly made his way up to bed. You were asleep, climbing in, he wrapped his arms around you. Your body was still shaking. How the hell has this night happened? He thought to himself.
Next morning, he got up and went to make coffee. He called his own private Doctor, and arranged for him to come and check you. Slowly, he walked back upstairs, your eyes were open staring at the wall. "Y/n, I made you coffee, baby," You didn't respond, didn't blink, didn't move.
"I've got your painkillers, will you take them?" he tried, your eyes flickered to look up at him. "Here, try to sit up," Helping you up, your body felt floppy, the spark was gone from behind your eyes. He gave you the tablets and you flopped back down.
"How about I make us something to eat? I can do poached eggs? You like them, yeah?" Nothing, he felt like he was talking to Niall. Kissing your cheek he left the room to start breakfast.
As you rolled over, you spotted the packets of tablets. He had left two packets there with water. How easy it would be, you thought. Just to go to sleep, be at peace. No worries, no more troubles.
"I'm 2 weeks late... I haven't done a test or anything but I'm always regular as clockwork. Laura I've been on the pill for years, I don't want Daniel's baby!"
"Let's just do a test, let's confirm it, before we make any decisions okay?" She left the room and went into the bathroom, coming back with a box of pregnancy tests.
"Why do you have pregnancy tests?"
"Don't tell anyone but Pad and I have been trying for a while now," she smiled, handing Becky the box and telling her to go and take a test. "I'll make us some tea, yeah?" Becky nodded and did what she needed to do.
Laura was waiting downstairs, she didn't want to rush Becky but it had been nearly 20 minutes. She went upstairs and knocked on Becky's door. Silence. Slowly opening it, she found the room empty, and the window of her ground floor bedroom wide open. Two tests lay on the bed.
Becky sat on the grass, staring at the headstone. A joint one for both her mum and dad alongside her grandparents. She sat in-between them, silently, hoping for a flash of hope it inspiration, some guidance maybe. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there, but the daylight was definitely starting to fade, and with it any heat in her shivering body.
She felt a blanket suddenly wrapping around her shoulders, a small kiss to the top of her head. Looking up, Cillian nodded at her, before backing away towards the bench around fifteen feet away from where she was sitting.
"Sit with me?" She asked, opening the blanket for him to sit behind her, his legs around her as she nestled into his chest. The large blanket wrapped around the two of them as he rocked her slowly back and forth. Her arms wrapped around his.
"How did you find me?"
"When I need to be alone, to think, I go to my grandmother's grave, just over there in the corner. Helps to refocus my mind. I remember you telling me that night we spent in Kerry that you did the same thing. I wanted to give you time, and space, but the darker it got, and colder, I can't have you both out here in this much longer."
"Laura told you?"
"Laura told me. And it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."
They sat together for a while, not saying anything.
"Ready to come home?" He asked.
"Well I can't have you living at Laura's carrying my baby, can I?"
"Listen, this is your choice okay. Totally your choice, it's your body. I'm just giving you an option. If you can't go through with it, I understand and I'll support you. However, if you wanted a plan B to consider, my home, and my heart, has room for both of you."
His words melted her. She wasn't expecting him to react this way.
"The baby might be Daniel's Cill.."
"The baby is mine. That's it. End of conversation on that front."
He'd ordered a Chinese takeaway which was quickly eaten and the empty cartons sitting on his coffee table, and Becky was laying on the sofa with a glass of non alcoholic wine, bought by Cillian on his way home from the cemetery.
Her feet resting in his lap as he rubbed her ankles.
"What do you want to do?" He asked, his heart in his throat.
"I wasn't planning on a baby.. it wasn't in my life plan. He always wanted one, but I kept taking the pill in secret, there was no way I could bring a child into that situation."
"Well, the situation has changed quite dramatically, hasn't it... But it doesn't change the fact that the baby might be his."
"We've already discussed this. There's no part of me that gives a shit about which dick made that baby." Becky nearly choked on her drink from laughing.
"That's one way of putting it I suppose!" He pulled her into his lap and held her waist, chuckling at his own joke.
"I'm serious though - no matter which of us put that baby in there, if you'll let me, I'd like to be the one to raise them. The one to show them how to walk, talk, ride a bike, play games, climb trees, kick a ball. What do you say?" His fingers stroked her stomach lightly, sending a warm feeling coursing through her.
"You want to raise a baby with me?"
"I'd love to raise this baby with you." He cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers. "You're going to look sexy as fuck pregnant too."
"Am I really? Even with stretchmarks and mood swings?" He laughed again.
"Even with all of that."
"I'm not convinced..." He raised an eyebrow at her, along with a sly smirk.
"Need to work on that, don't I..."
His lips met hers again, his hands roaming under her t shirt up to her breasts, moving to her back and unclipping her bra. Within seconds, both the t shirt and bra were removed, along with his, discarded in a pile on the floor next to the sofa.
Her hands began to unbuckle his belt, he hitched his hips up so they could be pushed down, adding to the pile on the floor. She climbed off him, standing in front of him. His hands on her waist, he leaned in and placed small kisses along her abdomen.
"My baby's in there..." He whispered, making her heart swell. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her leggings and pulled them down, her underwear falling with them. She stood in front of him now, completely bare as his eyes devoured her. His hands over her still flat stomach.
"Yep. I'm looking forward to watching this grow with my baby inside you." He hooked one of her legs over his shoulder and his head moved between her legs. His tongue licking against her folds gently, hitting the swollen bud with the tip of his tongue making her knees buckle under him. Cillian held her steady, her hands moving to his hair and tugging at it as her hips grinded against his mouth. It only took a few minutes for her body to start to shake, and he pushed two fingers deep inside to work alongside his tongue on her clit.
"Fuck... Cillian don't stop!" Her hips were moving hard against him - he just kept his tongue in place and allowed her to ride it, still pumping his fingers inside her. Her quick orgasm took her by surprise, everything feeling 10 times more sensitive than normal.
He moved her slowly to lie on her back on the couch, moving between her legs and entering her in one swift movement before she'd fully come down from her high. Her legs wrapped around his back as he pounded into her, the need in him overwhelming. Just imagining her round and full of his seed turned him on immensely, there was no holding him back. Her second orgasm flooded her moments before his, he came hard with a deep grunt, panting as he rode out the waves of his orgasm.
"I love you..." He breathed into her ear, making her bite her lip. Was it too soon? Probably. Did she care? Not a jot. Did she feel the same? The pause made Cillian wince, convinced he'd fucked it up.