#ciperlax

[her-name-is-suicide]

Being on anti depressment is weird because.. I feel so weird that I've been feeling so okay that I almost make it seem like I'm just numb and stupid but actually I'm not, I've been feeling sad and I've been feeling very happy. Like Ive been feeling all of the emotions but I'm so not used to being at a normal mental space that I almost feel like I'm dreaming and it's a really weird and big adjustment. I know this can sound weird like "being normal is so hard" but im like.. I feel like Im losing this huge part of myself that made my brain intresting to me although I know im not and I know my depression and anxiety are the most boring stuff about me obviously but like with me between myself feeling normal is so boring and like weird and yesterday I even thought maybe I should take a break from the pills to have a mental breakdown and feel like me again but obviously I won't do it and don't really want to do it.

I just think i need a few months of adjusting and discovering who I am day to day without anxiety and without depression and then i can start thinking and working on other thinking patterns and how to utilize this happiness..

P.S I haven't cried in awhile and that's weird

#Depression #Anxiety #Numb #Mental health #Ciperlax #Anti depressment #Mental meds