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redhead-batgal · 5 months

Note

I hope you do oh miss believer part 3 sometime soon! It’s ok if you’re not feeling that story anymore tho <3

Type: Fic

Part One: Here, Part Two: Here

Pairing: Fem! Vigilante! And Meta! Reader x Damian Wayne/ Robin

Content: Violence, language, flash backs, depressive thoughts, angst, and aged up Damian/reader to 16/17 yrs old

Word Count: 2,573

(P.S: Soooo I can try to write a reaction of the bat fam to the end of part one, or I can write the next part of this one next time. Let me know what y'all want in the comments please! also get ready for some fun angsty angsty times)

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There are many things in this world that seem unnatural. Paradoxes or impossibilities. People tend to fear the unnatural, to ostracize it and even harm it. Regardless of whether or not said impossible and unnatural thing is living- regardless of if it's human.

To humanity, unnatural things were to be feared and destroyed. They were threats, in a way, to the "peaceful" society that had been created through blood shed and inequality. A society that has classes and impoverished people that kept growing and growing; saw things they deemed unnatural not worthy of life. Why is that? Why does such a society fear so greatly the unnatural, the unknown and impossible?

It seemed to you that they feared the unnatural because the power of mystery gave it. Because what they do not know, they cannot control. And if they can't control something, it cannot be a part of society. Which unfortunately meant you were left on your own; fighting to survive against an environment that deemed you a danger. Even more unfortunately, for society at least, you had bad habit of becoming everything everyone feared you'd be.

An unnatural danger, set on destroy the society that cast it out.

How very, very natural, right?

You could still remember the very first time someone deemed you unnatural- unworthy of comfort in this shitty shitty world.

You must have been no older then six, out scrounging on the streets for pity coin you could use to help your parents out. A rattied hat made from old newspaper by your side as you made your misty and small illusions appear. Desperate for anyone to take an interest. Unsurprisingly, the person who did was anything but kind and far from merciful.

The small boy had shouted at you, laughed, sneered and beaten you to a bloodied pulp. Stealing all of the meager change you had managed to earn as he called you a witch over his shoulder bolting away.

While this was your first actual encounter with such people, you were not surprised. Your mother had warned you of such people.

"Vicious monsters," She had said beginning to explain why you had to be careful in the world, "they like to prey upon those they deem weaker, those who they think are unnatural and strange."

She shook her head as she continued to knit, though somewhat sloppily, "They don't like people who they can't control, they don't like that you're different."

You looked up at her with wide eyes as you tilted your head and she paused. She let out a soft sigh before setting down her knitting and pulling you into her arms.

"My sweet little miss believer, this world is going to be cruel to you simply because you exist. There's nothing your father or I can do to stop it other then pulling you in close like this and letting you know they are wrong."

She rested your head against her chest as she began to rock slightly squeezing you in her arms as she softly began to hum.

"They are wrong because you are a darling gem. A wise and wonderful girl who should not let the world push you down."

Cupping your face in her hands she smiled, tears lining her eyes, "You are my little miss believer, you know many things and have such faith. Do not allow these people to cause you to lose that faith. Faith in your father and I, faith in humanity, faith in your own skills or just merely faith in yourself."

Her words rang far too deep into the truth. Scars, both physical and emotions covered your body the older you got. But you still had your mother and father there, to nurse your spirit back to its brightness... until you didn't anymore.

The night was dark and growing colder and colder by the minute. Your father had disappeared merely a week before and you did not plan on letting him stay gone without answers.

Lurking around the usual street corners you heard the crackling of thunder and through the dense musty smell of Gotham's streets, you could smell rain. Sweet and clear, dancing in the clouds yearning to be released. Pulling your jacket in closer, you slipped down an alleyway, hoping to find answers and remain unseen. After all you had a reputation for causing trouble amongst the rouges and criminals, and tonight was the last night you needed trouble to catch you once again.

Though you had not heard of any rogues causing any chaos, you knew better then to trust the night would remain silent. It's current silence sent shivers down your spine. Silence was a deadly tool, used to confused and trick the naive into false senses of security. It was a tool you yourself had used and yet- something about tonight's silence made you on edge.

Looking around you almost sensed danger as the hairs on your arms stood on edge. Your heart racing as the silence screamed into your mind. Just as you had settled with yourself to finally venture home, a hand clamped down on your shoulder.

A shriek of sorts almost escaped you and you turned to find your fuming mother.

"Y/n! I thought I told you to be home before eleven?"

Though startled you merely blinked, allowing your mother to drag you back down the alleyway, towards the way home. Your heart hammered in your chest. Regardless of all your broken promises to come home on time, your mother had never- ever come out looking for you.

"Mom," You said, finally finding your voice, "what are you doing out here?!"

Your mother froze tilting her head a scowl of sorts on her face with dropped almost instantly. She let go of your hand and slowed to a stop, looking you over she sighed, taking a moment to tuck your hair behind your ear.

"I was worried, I heard that one of the nastier rouges was out tonight and I didn't want you to be out."

At first a wave of warmth washed over you. It, however, turned icy cold as you processed the rest of your mother's sentence.

'One of the nastier rouges'

Your heart skipped a beat and you grasped onto your mother's hand. Swallowing you met her gaze and forced a slow breath out.

"Mom, which one did you hear was out?"

It took her a moment to reply, as her brow furrowed, and she squeezed your hand.

"The Joker."

Your heart actually stopped, you struggled to breath as news reports and alley whispers raced over your mind.

"I heard that the bats pissed joker off so he's shooting for a big one this time."

"I heard that he lost Batman's attention and wants it back."

"Well, I heard that he's finally sick of his cat and mouse game and plans on taking as many civilians as possible with him when he goes."

Finally breathing again, you pulled your mother forward. Heart racing as your mind screamed to run. Your legs began to pump, your mother stumbling to keep up behind you her soft protests barely catching your ears.

"Shit- oh shit, mom we've gotta go."

You had just come up on a corner, knowing once you went down the alley just by here, you'd be two blocks from your complex. It didn't help though, your heart hammered to quickly you could hear your own heartbeat without even thinking about it.

"What? Honey," Your mom began shaking her head and causing you to stop, "it's fine we're almost home and-"

Your mouth began moving before you could stop yourself and you began pulling her again, finally rounding the corner, "No mom you don't understand this guy has been amping up his attacks recently and-"

Just as you did you came face to face with a goon in white makeup and a sinister red smile. He raised something strange, and time seemed to slow as you heard him pressing on a trigger.

"Y/N!" Your mother's shout echoed in your ears as she shoved you to the side.

You tumbled towards the ground screams ripping from you as you watched a fine mist encompass her entire face, "MOM NO!"

The mist faded as a blurry figure slammed the goon into the ground. Your mother slumped slightly as you darted to her side, her body shook, and you looked her over trying to find any damage only to hear a bone chilling sound.

"Ha-ha-ha."

You trembled as your mother raised her head, a large sinisterly familiar smile on her face.

"Mommy? Mommy, no. Please, no. NO!"

A jolt of sorts raced through you as you opened your eyes. A bright light slamming straight into them and sending spots racing across your vision.

"Aw, look," A mocking voice began, "our little Houdini's finally awake."

A piercing ache began at the base of your skull as you forced yourself to sit up. Faintly recalling your last moments, as rain poured down and you made the choice to finally let go.

Blinking you pressed a hand to your face, a sloshing of sorts following you as you found yourself immersed in a small pool of greenish water. Wincing you tried to look around the room- to understand where you were and what was going on.

Your eyes slowly adjusted, revealing that you were in a small cavern of sorts. A woman in a strange outfit stood nearby as a man in a dark clothing loomed over you. You watched as the woman motioned at someone just beyond your view muttering things you could not here.

"Hello there little one," the man began capturing your attention, "I am glad to see you're awake."

You swallowed feeling the headache fade slightly as you shifted. These people and this place did not seem familiar. You too a slow breath looking down to see your own hands and body before looking back up.

"Who are you?" You whispered, your voice cracking, throat dry and aching.

The man smiled, but something about it made you uneasy. He merely stared at you, replying, "A doctor of sorts."

You paused furrowing your brow, "So I'm not dead?"

The man- doctor- whatever he was laughed as he took a step back. Making temporary eye contact with the woman behind him. She had an odd look about her and you could have sworn you spotted a cat like mask before the man captured your attention again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," You replied wincing again as you stepped out of the pool rising to your feet, "is that normal?"

He tilted his head, "In a sense yes."

His short responses had your mind racing, he was being so vague and something- something about all of this just seemed off.

"Uh okay. Then is fine to assume I'll get better right?"

The man nodded as the woman smiled at you. You narrowed still not entirely understanding what was going on or what had happened. You were sure that the fall would have kill you and- and you could still remember the impact.

"Wha-" You began as a wave of defenseness washed over you, "what is going on?"

"Whatever do you mean little Houdini?" The woman asked her eyes glinting.

"Who are you? Where am I? How am I still alive? And what the fuck happened?"

Your demand echoed in the cave like chamber causing the woman to smile even more. She even began to laugh and the man stepped in-between the two of you.

"Just please calm yourself, Y/N L/N. All will be explained soon."

You locked your jaw, a buzzing of sorts climbing up your chest as you began to grind your teeth. Tingles raced across your hand, a tell tale sign your body yearned to release some engery. To produce the false images and twist the illusions into exsistance.

"When?"

The man paused before the sound of footsteps approached. He went still and so did the woman behind him. A wave of fury rose up in your chest, were you such a fuck up you even fucked up dying? Was it possible that something else was going on? Regardless of your current internal turmoil you needed answers.

"Would someone please answer my fucking questions?!"

Just as your frustrated shout escaped a new woman walked into the room. she breezed past the first and stopped right in front of you. Allowing you to get a good look of her and a better grasp of the situation. She was dressed in a green and gold trimmed dress, her dark brown hair spilling around her face, dark skin and sharp bone structure that screamed Arabic descent. And her eyes, her bright- familiar green eyes stared at you with a curious gaze.

"I would be happy to, Y/N."

Something about her- whether be her eyes, her voice or face- something seemed familiar- so familiar you let your guard down.

"Where am I?"

The woman smiled, "Safe in my home."

It wasn't entirely a bad answer, but once again a vague one. And despite your concerns on where you were at you had to know one thing.

"How did I survive that fall? I just can't wrap my head around it."

The woman went still before she softly laughed moving a bit closer to you, "You didn't."

You froze as you answer caused your breath to stop, "What?"

"You didn't survive. In fact, that fall killed you, you died."

"But- wha- how? Am, am I dead?"

"Not anymore, but you were."

"I was- what do you mean I was dead? How can that be possible?"

The woman's smile deepened, and she took a step even closer, "You're not asking the right questions."

Grinding your teeth, you met her gaze and raised your chin frustration and desperation climbing up your throat, "Fine, who are you then?"

"Much better, I am Talia."

Something about that name set off warning bells in your head and your stiffened, allowing your guard to rise as you eyed the woman.

"Where am I? I want specifics."

"The league."

Your blood went cold as a realization began to dawn on you, "The league?"

"Yes, the league; assassins, shadows, what have you. You, are at one of the bases for the League."

"And- and-"

"I am Talia Al Ghul, and I brought you back to life."

You went still as everything began to click into place. The green water, the man and woman nearby, the vagueness- how you are alive, and you looked at Talia swallowing. The familiarity. This was Damian's mother, the person who you died trying to run from.

"You brought me back with the pit?" You whispered your voice trembling and cracking.

"Unbeknown to my beloved, son and the rest of his rabble, yes... so any more questions?"

You swallowed as your world began to scream and burn as it crashed down. They- they thought- no they knew you had died and- and no one would come save you this time. You were on your own you were alone.

You shook your head, refusing to let your voice tremble, "No."

"Good, because I have a lot of work for you..." Talia paused looking over her shoulder to the other woman, "what did cheshire call you? Ah, yes. Little Houdini."

Digging your nails into your palm you tried to calm your breathing as Talia tucked your hair behind your ear smiling.

"Let's get to work my Little Houdini."

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @krswrites @thefallingstarlights @masset-fotia @rrowwii @ssak-i @legendarylearner18

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kittymaine · 6 months

Text

Two Weeks Notice Ch. 4

Summary: Jason attends a Christmas party.

It took weeks to recover from what was thankfully only a concussion and a lot of stitches.

After things had settled down, Jason's doctor at the field hospital had explained his injuries to him in detail. They had been worried about brain damage, since Jason had only barely been able to hold onto consciousness during the flight from the ship to the field hospital, but luckily it had just been a very severe concussion. There was a lot of medical jargon that Jason honestly didn't particularly understand thrown around, but it was his understanding that he had dodged a bullet. The skin on the back of his head had been split open and needed a lot of stitches. The same was true of his back and chest. His back must have bashed onto some kind of sharp metal that bruised his ribs and left a deep gash right across the middle. The front of his torso had been peppered with shrapnel from the explosion.

It made for a lot of time recuperating in Bizarro's floating fortress. The concussion meant that he couldn't handle a lot of noise or light, and the stitches all over his torso meant that he could barely move without risking pulling a stitch. It meant a boring and long recovery of lying on the couch and then lying in bed and then lying on the floor and trying not to be too much of a bad patient.

Dick had filled in the rest of what the Doctor skipped over. Apparently, their wild suicide mission had been a rousing success. The grenade he threw at the mothership engine damaged it badly enough that all their shields dropped at once, but not so badly that it fell out of the sky and into the ocean off the coast of New Jersey. This allowed the Justice League to quickly infiltrate the mothership and take control of it.

Which is when they found Jason unconscious in the engine room, being cared for by a panicked Damian. Dick told him that Wonder Woman had carried him into the emergency triage, a visibly upset Robin fast on her heels. It was incredibly embarrassing to imagine Wonder Woman, probably the most impressive woman on the planet and a literal goddess, carrying his bleeding unconscious ass back to their temporary camp. But, it was Damian he was having trouble getting over. He knew Damian wasn't really the apathetic cold-blooded killer he presented to most people, but it still was a big deal for him to be upset enough to show it in public.

So, all in all, Jason was discharged from the triage tent and advised to follow up with his general practitioner. Which was all well and good for a normal civilian, but Jason didn’t even exist legally let alone have a regular doctor, so he just went home to sleep it off as best as he could.

Bizarro was a peach, because of course he was. He would fetch Jason his phone or the remote and could make him endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without getting frustrated. But, it was Artemis who always did the bulk of the care taking whenever he was injured. It always surprised him, even though it happened every time he got hurt. There was always a lot of muttering about how 'in Bana Migdahl, the healers would never dishonor a warrior by sending her home before she was fit for duty', but she still patiently moved him from bed to couch each day and helped him to the bathroom when crawling was his only hope of getting there by himself. She would head down to Gotham and pick them all up take out multiple times a day if needed. Not to mention all the constant changing and checking of bandages. She treated wound maintenance the same as weapon maintenance, and never let Jason slack on medications or changing bandages or washing.

While he was recovering, he was in constant contact with the other bats, which he found more than a little surprising. It took him a while to notice it, since he couldn’t stand looking at his phone screen for the first week or so, but Barbara must have given his cell number out to everyone. He was getting phone calls from Dick, text messages from Steph and Cass and even Damian. Even Kate texted him once to make sure he was okay, since no one had seen him since before the invasion. It was sweet of her, considering that Jason had thought she was more likely to arrest him than worry about him. Bizarro obligingly would read the text messages out loud in his halting, rumbling voice and then carefully tap out simple responses for Jason.

Recovery was slow-going, even with all the bats texting him and Artemis and Bizarro there to keep him company. Jason listened to an obscene amount of audiobooks and podcasts and not a lot else for almost two months before he finally got cleared for duty right around Christmas.

Gotham was cold and wet the first night he went out, because of course it was. It had snowed weeks ago and piles of filthy snow were piled in every corner, frozen solid and disgustingly dirty. Strings of colorful lights blinked from around apartment windows and strung around shop doorways. The roofs were icy and dangerous, glittering with thin layers of almost invisible ice.

Jason was paired up with Steph the first night, but it was cold as shit and Jason was out of shape after weeks of lying around and trying not to shake his brains up too much or pop any stitches. They only patrolled for an hour before giving up and picking up some coffee to sip from on top of Monarch Theater while they looked down at the streets below.

“So, you’re coming to the party, right?” Steph burst out when Jason was halfway through his coffee.

He turned to look at her with raised eyebrows that she unfortunately wouldn’t see under his domino mask. “Have you been stewing on that one all night?” he asked.

Steph fidgeted a little with her gloves, but didn’t answer.

The party she was talking about was a Christmas party Babs and Dick had organized at the Clock Tower. Bizarro had painstakingly read out Babs’ very kind and heartfelt invitation weeks ago when Jason had still been struggling to look at his phone screen for more than a few seconds at a time, but he had never gotten around to answering her one way or another. The longer it took him to answer, the less he knew what he should say.

Based on what he saw people talking about in the group chat, it was going to be a pretty big party. All the Gotham vigilantes (except for the Bat himself) were going, including a fair few out-of-towners. Damian was staying with the Kents for the time being, so Jon and Lois were going to come along to escort him to the party. Leslie had agreed to come, along with the sibling pair Harper and Cullen Row, who apparently had briefly been involved in the vigilante life. Someone had dug Jean-Paul out from whatever rock he had been living under and extracted a promise from him to attend. It sure sounded like it was going to be quite the shindig. But, that just made Jason even more unsure if it was the right thing to attend.

“Babs invited me,” Jason eventually said. It was true, and it didn’t commit him to one answer or another.

“I know,” Steph replied. “She told us she would, and she asked us not to bug you about it, so we didn’t!” she said, getting louder and talking faster as she talked “But, I know that everyone wants you to be there, so, you know. I just really hope you come,” she finished, muttering into her waxed paper coffee cup.

Jason felt incredibly uncomfortable, but it was hard to put his finger on why exactly. People wanted him at this Christmas party, and that felt like something he should be happy about, regardless of whether he intended to go or not. So, why did he feel like shit instead?

“You guys don’t want me at your party,” Jason said hesitantly, grinning at Steph and elbowing her a little in the side, enough to get a dirty look from her. “I’m the dangerous loose canon, remember? I’m sure half the people there would sooner eat shit than wish me Merry Christmas.”

“Fuck them, then,” Steph said viciously, surprising Jason. “If they don’t want you there, then we don’t want them there. That’s it,” she spit.

“Come on, Steph,” Jason sighed. “I’m not worth all that. If people don’t like me, I’m sure they have more than enough good reason.”

“I’m serious,” she said defiantly.

Jason didn’t know what to say to that. He turned back around to look out at the quiet street below. A group of twenty-somethings clustered outside the theater’s back door, likely a bunch of actors just out of rehearsal. Their breaths rose in clouds of white around their heads, sounds of laughter and rapid talking echoing off the alley walls and back up to him.

“It’s been over a year since Tim left, you know,” Steph said quietly.

“I know,” Jason replied.

“We all felt like shit on the anniversary, you know?” she continued. “I mean, not only were you hidden away with your real friends recuperating where none of us could chec on you, but Damian was out of Gotham staying with the Kents in Metropolis. And then the anniversary comes around and like?” she stopped to sniff a little. “Like, he’s really not coming back, huh?” she tried to make her voice sound chipper, but it was thick with unshed tears.

“Steph,” Jason sighed.

“No, it's okay. I mean, I know it’s not all about me,” she laughed wetly. “Like, trust me, I get that. But, he was my best friend for years, you know? And I had a lot of feelings for him. Some were good and some were bad, but they were all big emotions. I know sometimes that was too much for him. And that’s fair. I know I’m kind of a lot for a lot of people. But, I just,” she stumbled and went to rub her nose on her nose on her sleeve before remembering she was wearing tough reinforced gloves and instead switched to wiping with the end of her cape. “I just miss him, you know? I wish I could talk to him about all this stuff that’s happened. I just miss my friend.”

“I’m sorry, Steph,” Jason said somberly. Hesitantly, he put his hand on Steph’s shoulder, and she sniffed again before giving him a wet smile.

“You know, I used to think you were a Grade A asshole?” she said with a smile.

“Oh jeez, did you?” Jason joked back with a toothy smile. “Whatever gave you that idea?” he teased.

“Shut up, ass,” she snorted, elbowing him a lot harder than he had elbowed her. “I’m trying to say I was wrong!”

“Mm, I don’t know about that,” Jason said with a doubtful wrinkle of his brow.

“You know, a lot of people treat Damian like he can handle anything. He sure acts like he can handle anything. But, Babs pulled the audio from Damian’s comm and I know that you tried to look out for him on Halloween,” Steph said with a pointed look.

“Any of you would have done that,” Jason dismissed.

“Yeah, we would have. We understand Damian better than most. Maybe you just fit in with us better than you think you do,” Steph said with an arched brow.

“Watching out for a literal child doesn’t disqualify you from being an asshole,” Jason muttered, taking a sip of his coffee and grimacing when it was cold.

“And, I heard you made up with everyone’s favorite big brother, too,” Steph added smugly.

“He’s not that bad,” Jason sighed.

“And, you’ve been like Oracle’s errand boy, checking up on us and doing odd jobs whenever she asks for it,” Steph sang.

“She’s spread thin! She needs the help!” Jason protested.

“I’m just saying!” Steph exclaimed, meeting Jason’s loudness. “That you’re nothing like the person that everyone told me you were. When I was Spoiler, I can’t tell you how many people told me the story about the Robin that died,” she said with a twist to her mouth like she had just tasted something sour. “It sounded so cliché that I really didn’t even believe you actually existed until you came back to life. I mean, it just felt too convenient for B to have this story handy whenever I stepped out of line. And then you came back and came after Tim and broke the Joker out of Arkham!”

Jason froze, his stomach twisting into knots at the direction the conversation had suddenly taken. He knew he had no right to react badly to a recounting of his own actions. He had really done those things after all, all explanations aside, he had really hurt Tim and really broken the Joker out of a secure mental facility. Still, having it all said so casually made his dinner threaten to come back up.

“But, you know, I died too,” Steph said quietly. “I did a bunch of stuff I wasn’t proud of and got into a lot of trouble, and things didn’t turn out okay for me. I died on the operating table. It was pure luck that the doc was able to bring me back. And, you know,” here Steph stopped and turned serious eyes on Jason. “I was mad as hell for a long time. And, I wasn’t just mad at Black Mask. I was mad at B. Mad as hell.”

Jason felt frozen. He couldn’t breathe or speak.

“Black Mask was only doing exactly what he always did. He was a sadistic, evil asshole. He destroys everyone who gets in his way, and I was no exception. I could hate Sionis for what he did to me, but I didn’t feel betrayed by him. It was B who betrayed me,” she said fiercely.

“He was the one who put me in the Robin suit. He was the one who threw me out on the streets and then did nothing to protect me! And then when I died, he turned me into a cautionary tale, just like you. I was the bad Robin, the Robin that didn’t listen, I was what happened to ill prepared heroes who thought they were untouchable,” Steph spat. “Except, I came back after only a few months, and he still didn’t stop telling my story to anyone who would listen. So, I hated him with everything in me.” She sighed and turned back to the quiet street. The people had gone back inside the theater and the only sound was the sound of cars driving down wet streets.

“And, I don’t know why I didn’t think about you. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that I wasn’t unique. You had gone through the exact same shit as me. It wasn’t until this year and all the shit that’s happened that I really thought about it, and it’s like? Wow, it’s so obvious now! I really just believed all those stories, even when I knew he had told the exact same stories about me!”

Steph paused and looked at Jason again, her eyes a little less serious. Jason just looked at her, totally frozen. She had really just rearranged his heart on a frigid roof in the Bowery without lifting a finger

“Anyway, I’m trying to say that if you’re invited, it’s because we want you there. You showed up for us this past year, and that means something to all of us. So, come to our stupid party. We want you there.”

“Well, shit,” Jason sighed, something old untying itself in his chest as he breathed out. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “How the fuck am I supposed to say no to that?”

Steph laughed and tapped the edge of her coffee cup against Jason’s with a triumphant grin.

“Easy,” she said. “You don’t!”

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Jason went to the party.

Something in his gut still rebelled at the idea, but his talk with Steph stuck with him. Those people were his people. They had stood by him the past year, when it would have been a lot easier for them to just ignore him. The least he could do was show up at their silly holiday get together with a crock pot full of turkey chili as a peace offering.

He got there a little bit early because he brought food and felt it was only fair to help set up his own crock pot and any other bits that needed to be set up. He needn't have bothered, though. As soon as he got there, it was apparent that Barbara and Dick had everything well in hand. And Alfred, who Jason saw and then immediately tried his best not to make eye contact with. It had never occurred to him that Alfred himself would attend, but he had no idea why he had thought that. Alfred might have been Bruce’s adoptive father for all intents and purposes, but he didn’t always stick with Bruce. Hell, he didn’t even agree with him most of the time. And Alfred had always loved kids, and had loved Dick and Jason in all of Jason’s memories of him. Jason couldn’t see that changing with the kids that came after him. Of course, Alfred would have to help them set up their extended family holiday party.

Jason stepped into the clock tower’s top room. It had been cleared out, all of Babs’ monitors and humming towers shoved against the walls for the time being. Jason accidentally made eye contact with Alfred for the barest of seconds before immediately turning to Steph and starting to chatter manically. He could tell from the raised eyebrow that he was talking way too loud and way too fast, but she was good enough to go along with it.

Luckily for Jason, if Alfred noticed his obvious avoidance tactic, he at least honored it and stayed near the fold out table where he was fussing with various warmer plates and trays of cookies.

He didn’t have to make small talk for long before everyone else started to show it. And once they started to show up, Jason was kind of stunned by just how many people there were.

All the core group of Gotham vigilantes were there. Barbara, Dick, Steph and Cass were all there before anyone else had gotten there (along with Alfred). The wider group of vigilantes in the city also showed up: Luke Fox, Kate Kane, Jean-Paul Valley, Jason Blood, Harper and Cullen Row, Helena Bertinelli, and even Selina Kyle. Beyond that, people from the Justice League even made appearances. Black Canary and J’onn J’onnz (although it was hard to be sure since he looked like a very bland businessman, but Jason assumed that was him) came in together and seemed to know everyone by name.

By the time that the party was really in motion and everyone was talking and mingling, and low classy music was playing over Bluetooth speakers, Jason was feeling more than a little out of place. It didn’t help that he couldn’t remember the last time he was in the same room with that many people, but if he had to make a guess, it was probably before he died. He wasn’t sure how to stand or where to put his hands that it wouldn’t look awkward, and he wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but judging by the weird looks people gave him when they chanced eye contact, it was probably not exactly inviting.

It must have been pretty clear that he was not doing great, because he seemed to have at least one bat stuck to him all night. In any other situation, that would have been frustrating, but Jason couldn’t help but feel grateful for the assist.

Steph stuck with him initially. She was easy to talk to and seemed to pick up on his queues quickly and easily. It was like they spoke the same language, and she seemed to understand what he needed without him having to say a thing.

Once people really started to show up, she tapped out for Babs, who seemed to enjoy pulling him over into a corner so that he could stand over her while they both avoided greeting the people just arriving.

“I feel like I’m being used,” Jason muttered into the red solo cup she had passed him before she had dragged him off. He had counted five people by that point that had seen Babs, started to walk toward her and then noticed Jason standing just behind her and instead turned off toward the snack table.

“You’ve got to pay me back for all the free intel sometime,” she said with a smug grin tossed over a shoulder.

Jason snorted into his cup to hide his pleased expression.

After most of the guests had arrived and had been greeted and loaded up with paper plates full of food and snacks, Dick tagged a reluctant Babs out. She made a disgusted face as she rolled off to make small talk, but Jason took notice that her smile looked genuine when she pulled up between Dinah and Selina’s chairs to chat.

“Doing okay?” Dick asked, nudging Jason’s shoulder with his own as they leaned against the exposed brick wall.

“Yeah, fine,” Jason answered back. His red solo cup had long ago been emptied, but Alfred was still hovering near the snack table, so Jason would make do with just the one cup of mulled wine. He tapped his plastic cup against the brick rhythmically.

“I’m really glad you came tonight,” Dick said, tipping forward to try and catch Jason’s eye. When Jason did glance over at him, the warmth and affection in Dick’s face were definitely too much to handle when he was already feeling a little overwhelmed. He had to look away quickly.

“Yeah, well,” Jason coughed. He felt his neck flush red at the hoarse quality of his voice. “I think Steph would have cut me down at the knees if I didn’t.”

Dick let out a bark of a laugh, his smile so big his sharp white canines flashed in the colorful lights strung along the ceiling beams. “Ha, yeah! That sounds like her. I’m glad we can count on her to push you around when all else fails.”

Just then, Wally West, Garfield Logan and Victor Stone stepped through the door, followed by two people Jason definitely hadn’t expected to see.

“JASON!” Kori shouted, startling half the room when she flew up and over everyone’s heads to reach him where he was standing in the corner and swoop him into a big hug. Jason’s flush climbed from his neck all the way up to his ears at all the eyes turned toward him.

“Shit, Kori, what-?” Jason stuttered out.

“WE DIDN’T KNOW YOU WOULD BE HERE!” Kori shouted right into his ear, her understanding of acceptable volume levels no different from when he had known her.

Everybody was looking at them, from what little that Jason could see of the rest of the room beyond Kori’s hair. He sort of wanted to burrow into her and disappear. She would have loved that, but Jason’s pride wouldn’t let him.

“Wally!” Dick shouted happily, being similarly squeezed by his own red head just to Jason’s right.

“RICHARD!” Kori shouted before abandoning Jason to attach herself to the side of Wally and Dick’s hug. All three of them broke out in delighted laughter, while Jason was left floundering under the stares of what felt like every single person in the cape community.

“Roy!” Roy Harper yelled sarcastically as he ambled up to Jason at a much slower pace. Jason immediately relaxed and opened his arms to pull Roy into a much less smothering hug.

“Shit, man! Am I glad to see you,” Jason sighed.

Roy laughed and patted his back before stepping back. “Same to you!” he exclaimed. “I knew this was a bat party, but I didn’t know you would be here. To be honest, I didn’t think you guys were on good enough terms,” Roy said the last part in a lower volume.

“It’s, uh,” Jason floundered for an easy explanation, but didn’t find any, “It’s sort of a new development,” he said with a half-hearted shrug.

“Are we happy about this development?” Roy asked, moving in to put his arm around Jason’s shoulder so that he could ask this quietly in his ear.

“Reserving judgement for now, but I’m hopeful,” Jason said after a pause to think.

Roy nodded like he understood completely, and he probably did. Roy was supportive and nonjudgmental about whatever relationship Jason had or didn’t have with Bruce, and Jason was the same way about Roy’s whole thing with Oliver. It was both extremely weird and extremely gratifying to know someone who was in such a fucked up and yet incredibly similar situation to his own.

The party seemed to fly by after that. Jason was folded into the mini-party within a party of all the current and ex-teen titans, which gave him mixed feelings. On one hand, all of these people were in his age group, and he had briefly belonged to the Teen Titans before his death. So, in that way, he knew it made sense for Roy and Kori to pull him along to the big table commandeered by current and former titans. But, on the other hand, despite knowing or having met most of them, none of them had tried to contact him since his miraculous return from the dead and the attempts at small talk they made during the party were stilted at best. Jason on his part sat sandwiched between Kori and Roy, stealing food off their plates, while he let most of the conversation roll over him like water.

It felt like he had barely been at the table for half an hour when the door opened again and this time a windswept Clark Kent was stepping into the clock tower’s top floor, already stopping to apologize for being late to a mild looking Alfred while Lois, Jon and Damian dodged around him to enter the room.

Jason knew it was probably rude, but he couldn’t help but follow Damian with his eyes. Everyone had assured him that he was fine, but this was the first time Jason had seen him since the invasion on Halloween. As far as he could tell, he looked okay. He was moving normally, his face still stuck in a perpetual frown, though Jason figured that maybe the semi-permanent grooves between his eyebrows looked a little softer and the tension in his shoulders just a little less tight.

He didn’t get a chance to look at Damian for more than a few seconds before Damian’s eyes, which had been scanning the crowd, landed on him and firmed into a determined glare. Jon had been chattering excitedly to him about something, pointing at someone on the other side of the room, but Damian ignored him and started walking towards Jason like he was the only person in the room.

“Damian!” Dick shouted when he got close, jumping to his feet in excitement. Jason had a moment to wonder if it had been as long since Dick had seen Damian too, but only a moment before Damian had dodged around Dick without any acknowledgement to stand at perfect attention beside Jason’s chair.

“Todd,” Damian said stiffly.

“Hey, Damian,” Jason said a little awkwardly. He gave Dick an apologetic shrug over Damian’s shoulder, but he just smiled and sat down to rejoin a heated conversation between Vincent and Garfield.

Damian’s mouth twisted and Jason thought he was probably chewing on his tongue as he frowned down at him. Jason tried to look as patient and open as he could.

“About Halloween,” Damian started, sounding stiff and uncomfortable. His eyes glanced nervously at Kori and Roy. Roy was trying to pretend not to listen, but Kori’s glittery green eyes were raptly watching Damian. She had no concept that her attention might bother him at all, but judging by the way that his eyes danced around her without quite making eye contact, Jason felt confident that it was.

Damian hesitated, his mouth opening and then closing, his brow crumbling for a second before firming up again as he forced out, “I was hoping to tell you-. That is-”

“I have to hit the john,” Jason said, definitely way too loudly, judging by the way everyone’s eyes jumped to him as he stood to his full height. Damian’s mouth clicked shut, and he took a step back. “Come with me?” Jason added awkwardly, feeling like a fool, but also not caring all that much. It was better that everyone’s eyes be on him than Damian. He was an adult, so he could handle the attention for a few seconds.

Damian looked confused, but his chin dipped in a quick nod. Jason led the way out of the big room and down into the living area of the Clock Tower, just below the top floor. He could hear the sounds of someone using the bathroom already, but that wasn’t really his goal anyway. He made a detour into the living room and took a seat on the arm of the sofa. It was halfway through the party, so he wasn’t expecting anyone else to come through the door. At least here, Damian would have some privacy to say whatever he wanted to say.

“Okay, you can go,” Jason said with a sigh, enjoying being away from the party for a bit.

Damian didn’t stand at attention or hide his hands behind his back or make eye contact once they were in the living room. It should have been a sign that he felt more comfortable without the eyes of the rest of the hero community on him, but somehow Jason felt that wasn’t the case. When Damian wasn’t operating under pressure or extreme expectations, he looked a lot more like a lonely teenage boy than the snarling prince he presented to everyone else.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Damian directed to the tips of his snow boots, still wet with the slush lining the sidewalks outside.

“What?” Jason frowned. “You don’t owe me an apology, Damian,” Jason worked to gentle his voice from the snarl it wanted to come out as, but didn’t manage to smooth all his aggression out of it.

“I was the one that wanted to ignore orders and press all the way to the alien landing ship. I was the one who activated the teleportation pad. I was the one who wanted to push deeper into the mothership. And, I was the one who wanted to destroy the engine. Therefore, it is because of me that you incurred Father’s wrath,” Damian said. He enunciated every word so perfectly that Jason knew in his bones that these were things that Damian had repeated to himself over and over in the weeks since they had last seen each other.

“Damian,” Jason sighed. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face hard. He kept careful control over his breathing, trying to master the swirling mess of emotions tangling up in his head and chest. Jason hated that Damian was blaming himself for this. He hated that Damian even knew about it. He wondered who had told him. It was beyond inappropriate to talk about that kind of stuff in front of, regardless of how mature Damian tried to present himself. He was still just a kid, and Bruce was still his dad. Damian didn’t need to know all the dirty details of what was going on between Jason and Bruce.

But those were all considerations for later. Jason didn’t have time to sort through all that mess just then. Damian was in front of him, and Jason needed to clear the air before he worried about anything else.

Jason considered touching Damian to communicate his sincerity, but he remembered how complicated his own relationship was to touch at Damian’s age and decided against it. Instead, he leaned down to try and catch Damian’s eye and lowered his voice.

“Damian. Really listen to me, okay? Okay?” Jason repeated when Damian didn’t respond. Damian nodded just barely and Jason continued. “Nothing that Bruce does is your fault.” At this, Damian’s brow furrowed, and his mouth immediately popped open to reply. Jason was glad that at least he was making eye contact. “No, listen,” Jason cut him off before he could say anything. “Bruce is an adult and your guardian. That means it is his responsibility to control himself and his emotions. Not yours. And anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is wrong,” Jason emphasized, holding Damian’s eyes even when his expression crumpled from one of indignation to hurt.

“On top of that, you didn’t do anything wrong that day,” Jason added and earned himself Damian’s eyes again, his eyebrows rising in surprise. Jason started to tick things off on his fingers. “You were right that we were running out of ammo. Without it, neither of us would have been able to keep the aliens pinned on the beach. Activating the teleportation pad was an accident, you can’t be held responsible for that. If I had taken your place on the wall, it could have just as easily been me. You were right that we had the element of surprise and could disable their shields from the inside. And, unless my memory is going, I was the one with the bright idea to chuck a hand grenade at a mysterious alien engine.”

Jason used the hand he had been counting things off on to gesture at Damian. “All your decisions made perfect sense that day. Do I wish that someone other than you had made those connections and taken those risks? Of course. All those heroes were there and nobody thought to consider how the landing ships were funneling aliens onto shore without making a million trips! But, you did, and you stopped them. You’re a hero, Damian,” Jason said sincerely.

Damian’s eyes filmed over for a second, his face doing something complicated that sent a little shot of fear into Jason. He didn’t have the faintest idea what he would do if he actually made Damian cry. Probably run for the hills when the whole bat family came to put his head on a pike.

“I just want you to know that I’m not upset at you at all,” Jason hurried to add, his mouth moving before his brain had any input. “In fact, I couldn’t feel more differently from all those things you said. You really impressed me, Damian.”

Damian sniffed hard and rubbed the sleeve of his thick gray sweater over his eyes a few times, and Jason very carefully made his face blank and didn’t move, even though he was screaming a little in his head. It was hard to imagine that Damian had been that tore up over him, Jason Todd, the certified fuck-up of the family, getting shook around a bit by their mutual father figure. But, then, he had always suspected that Damian was softer than he or anyone else made him out to be, and he had dealt with a lot of shake ups in his life recently. He hoped that was all it was.

When Damian’s arm came down, he was back to looking haughty and disaffected, even if his eyes and nose were touched with pink.

“Of course, that’s to be expected,” Damian said, coughing a little when the words came out rough. “You have likely never worked with a true professional such as myself.”

“I’ve got to say, it was very refreshing,” Jason agreed with a wolfish grin that Damian returned with an uncertain upturning to the corners of his mouth.

“I am grateful that this matter has been resolved. Now, I must return to the party,” Damian said awkwardly, tucking his hands behind his back.

“Of course. I know everyone is anxious to see you,” Jason agreed, climbing to his feet and quickly popping his back.

“Hm,” Damian hummed his agreement and then practically teleported back up the stairs, leaving Jason to stand a little bewildered in the living room.

“So,” he said quietly to himself. “That happened.”

Jason returned to the party. He took notice of Jon and Damian disappearing up into the rafters together just as he stepped into the room, but everyone including Clark seemed to ignore it, so he did too. He was glad that Damian had Jon and that they were so close. Jason got the impression that Damian had never had a friend before Jon, so it was good that he could talk to him about all the crazy things in his life.

Jason returned to his seat between Roy and Kori and tried his best to ignore the stares of people watching him for any clue as to what he had just talked to Damian about. It was absolutely none of their business.

It was surprising to him how quickly the party chewed through his energy. It wasn’t like he had been looking forward to it or that he thought he would enjoy the party. But, he had to admit, it was a lot more pleasant than he had been expecting. Still, when he saw a few people making their way to the door, he was quick to take the opening to slip out himself. He bid a warm farewell to Roy and Kori, promising to talk more soon, and only a slightly less warm goodbye to the other titans. He made a point to say goodbye to Babs, Steph, Cass and even waved at Damian where he was still perched in the rafters and was surprised to receive a small wave back.

Jason gathered his crock pot and was giving it a quick rinse in the kitchen downstairs when he ran into the one person he was hoping he would make it through the night without having to make small talk to.

“Master Jason,” a mild British accent said from behind him just as he was wiping out his crock pot with a paper towel. Jason froze and couldn’t for the life of him imagine what he should do. He did feel guilty about avoiding him all night, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be confronted by Alfred any more than he had before.

Jason had nothing but good memories of Alfred Pennyworth. As much as the League of Assassins and the pit had twisted him up, Alfred was one thing they never touched. The League likely never bothered because they didn’t consider him important enough to spin. The pit didn’t seep into those memories because there were just no negative feelings associated with them. Alfred was a force of uncomplicated goodness in Jason’s early life. Even at his most angry, Jason had a hard time working up even a vague dislike of Alfred.

But, he didn’t have a hard time feeling hurt over him.

Alfred always stuck up for him with Bruce when he was a kid. He was always kind and warm to Jason, in his own uniquely British way. When Jason had been in the midst of being the absolute worst version of himself, he had to make sure he didn’t think about Alfred at all. The littlest thing that reminded him of the kind old man would send him into spirals of self-doubt and self-hatred that could stall him out for days.

But for all the high esteem that Jason held for him, Alfred had never tried to make contact with him. Not when he first came back, not when he was in prison, not even after he went straight and started living in Gotham full time. Surely it would have been no problem for Alfred to find Jason if he had wanted to. And Bruce wouldn’t have been able to stop him even if he wanted to. Alfred has never bent to what Bruce wanted, no matter how much of a fit he threw.

So, why had Alfred never come to see him? He’d never even given him a phone call, and Jason would never believe that Alfred couldn’t get a phone number if he needed it.

He had assumed it meant that Alfred didn’t forgive him for the terrible things he had done when he first came back to Gotham. Not that he blamed him. He probably wouldn’t have forgiven himself either if he was in the old man’s place.

Still. It didn’t make Jason want to share a room with him.

Jason opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was a croak, so he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Hey, Alf,” he said, trying to sound casual but still sounding strangled.

Jason remained staring forward blankly as the older man stepped carefully up behind him and reached into the sink from beside Jason. A clatter of dirty spoons banged into the stainless steel sink, and Jason controlled a flinch at the loud sound.

“I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see you tonight,” Alfred said, his voice sounding thick in a way that Jason had never heard before. Alfred was unshakable, Jason thought he must have been mistaken about what he had just heard. He turned on the hot water and started to clean the spoon with dish soap, his pressed white shirt rolled up to his elbows.

Jason turned to look down at Alfred, and Alfred turned to meet his eyes with perfect timing. His hazel eyes had more lines around them than Jason remembered when he was a boy. His hair was looking thinner and his hands more wrinkled. But, most of all, his eyes were filmed with real tears as he looked at Jason.

“You grew into a fine young man, quite in spite of everyone around you,” Alfred continued, his voice growing even thicker.

“Alf,” Jason choked out, any good he had done clearing his throat gone. His voice revealed to anyone listening just how close to tears he was.

Alfred put one soft worn hand on Jason’s neck and whispered “Oh, dear boy” and Jason collapsed into his arms like he was thirteen all over again.

The hug was so similar to what he remembered from his time in the manor. Alfred’s clothes smelled exactly like the particular blend of the laundry detergent he used on everyone’s clothes and his own old school aftershave and a faint whiff of cologne. His arms were still strong, if thin, where they wrapped around Jason’s shoulders. He still leaned his head against Jason’s while he cried. The only big difference was that Jason had to lean down to hug him instead of Alfred leaning down for him.

“Alfred, why-” Jason tried to ask, once it felt like the tears were drying up. But, he stumbled and couldn’t get the words out. He wanted to know why Alfred had never contacted him, never reached out, but it felt too dangerous. They had exchanged maybe twenty words. Couldn’t Jason savor the reunion a little before destroying everything?

Jason swallowed his words, but Alfred heard what he didn’t say anyway. Alfred was always excellent at hearing the words that went unsaid.

“I was a terrible old fool,” Alfred said fiercely. “I listened to the wrong people and trusted people I knew weren’t always trustworthy. But, those are excuses, and you don’t deserve excuses, my boy. You deserve an apology, and that’s the least I owe you. I’m so sorry, Jason.”

Jason sobbed out a gut punched, “Shit,” and then let himself collapse back onto Alfred’s shoulder again.

The tears were stronger the second time around, the kind of crying that felt like it was tearing your chest up from the inside out. He held Alfred tight, but tried to remember not to hold him too tight. He felt so much smaller than Jason remembered, and he couldn’t get over the difference it made.

At some point, Jason heard footsteps coming into the kitchen, but he couldn’t be fucked to pull himself together. Luckily, it was just Dick.

“Is he-?” Dick started to ask, his footsteps quickening as he approached Jason and Alfred.

“He’s alright,” Alfred said, his own voice tinged with tears. “Here we are, my boy. We’re quite alright, aren’t we?” Alfred asked, patting Jason on the back until he finally straightened up and tried to wipe his face off on his sleeve. Alfred offered him a handkerchief, and he gladly used that instead.

Dick stepped up on Jason’s other side and put a cautious hand on his shoulder.

“Master Dick, could you handle the rest of the cleanup? I have something to show master Jason out in the car,” Alfred asked.

“Sure thing, Alf,” Dick agreed easily. “You okay, big guy?” Dick asked, not letting go of Jason.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jason said, giving his nose one last trumpeting blow and then pocketing the handkerchief, so he could wash it and return it later. And, fuck, did Alfred do that on purpose? Selina could only aspire to be as subtle.

Dick clapped Jason on the shoulder and then moved off to the sink and started the process of washing all the serving spoons.

“Accompany me?” Alfred asked, holding out his elbow in a solicitous move that Jason was pretty sure only an English gentleman could unironically pull off.

“Lead the way,” Jason agreed nasally, still congested from all the crying. He put his hand in Alfred’s proffered elbow with a quirk of a smile at the whimsy of it.

Alfred tipped his head regally and then lead Jason out into the Clock tower living room and out the front door. They walked at a leisurely pace, Alfred’s hand resting on top of Jason’s where he held onto Alfred’s warm wool sweater. They walked down the stairs side by side and down into the cold, wet evening. Somehow it was both cold and humid, which was a nasty combination that Gotham always excelled at.

They walked together through the nearly empty streets for a little over a block until they reached a small parking lot squeezed in between two tall brick buildings. A classy black BMW sedan sat toward the back of the lot, and Alfred led them over to it.

“You are the only one that has seen Timothy since he left, though only from a distance, is that right?” Alfred asked as he used his key fob to unlock the car with a quiet clunk of gears.

“Uh, yeah, that’s right,” Jason said uncertainly. He hadn’t really thought about what Alfred might have in the car for him, but he hadn’t thought it would have anything to do with Tim.

“I have a bit of a confession to make,” Alfred said, pausing as he pulled the passenger door open. He turned to regard Jason with a mischievous tilt to his mouth. “You’ll have to keep it to yourself, as I haven’t told anyone yet.”

“Oh?” Jason asked, still feeling decidedly off center.

“Master Timothy and I have been sharing phone calls recently. Very pleasant ones. He seems to be doing very well, which I am exceedingly happy to hear. But, I worry that he is lonely out in the country by himself.”

Alfred, turned back to the car and pulled out a white bakers box secured with a shiny green and red ribbon. “I seem to recall that both you and Timothy were very fond of my almond cookies. I wonder if you could share these with him?”

Jason’s mouth dropped open, and it was only when Alfred curved an amused eyebrow at him that he snapped it shut.

“Are you serious? You want me to deliver him cookies?” he asked uncertainly.

“I want you to share them,” Alfred corrected him.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Alf, but I don’t think it’s a leap to say that I’m probably Tim’s least favorite person,” Jason said with a wry tilt of his mouth.

“I think there are an almost endless number of people who could say that and make a very good argument for it. Most of them were at the party we just left,” Alfred said in his most dry tone of voice. “I think the two of you have more in common than may be obvious at first glance.”

“You aren’t worried about what I’ll do to him all alone out in the wilderness?” Jason asked, taking the box just to avoid the awkwardness of watching Alfred hold it out for so long.

“I think you’ve proven many times over that you are not the monster that people try to make you out to be,” Alfred said in a quiet and sad voice.

Which just made the tears rush back to Jason’s eyes, so he cleared his voice and tucked the box under his arm.

“Okay, okay. Point made. Call me your delivery boy, then,” Jason said roughly.

“Excellent, my boy,” Alfred said and pressed a hand to Jason’s cheek in an unbearably fond gesture. Alfred swallowed roughly. “Do take care of yourself. And, give me a call whenever you feel the need. My personal number is in the box.”

With that, Alfred walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat and drove off into the wet Gotham night.

Jason looked down at the box in his hands in consternation.

He sighed.

“Guess I’m going to Pennsylvania. Fuck.”

#life down on the farm #two weeks notice #fanfiction #jason todd #red hood #stephanie brown #spoiler #batgirl #damian wayne #robin #alfred pennyworth #cliff hanger #sort of #but at least it's finished!!!#don't hate me lol #kittywrites

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