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marvelwitchergilmore · 1 year

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Durazno

Summary: Javier Pena x Fe!OC/Reader (Last Name: Becker) -> When you get a call at work, you try your best to hide your emotions but in the end, Javier is there for you.

Warning: Doesn't exactly follow the plot of Narcos, swearing, narcos-level violence mentioned, fluff, angst, Durazno is Peach in Spanish (according to Google Translate)

Every day was a new case, or, at least, that was what it felt like.

Someone would call with a tip on someone and someone would go and investigate it - see if it was worth while and what they would want in exchange. Usually, it was cash. Sometimes it would be a visa and on the rare occasion, it would be nothing. They’d either just want to be kept secret or have the cops do their job and promise they’ll put whoever behind bars when the time came.

But the call you received today was not one of those calls.

Peña was out on a break whilst Murphy was sat at his desk, smoking, waiting for Peña to get back with their food.

Your desk was just across from where Peña and Murphy’s was. Only, while they sat face to face, you sat on your own with clear view of Peña.

You had just come back from the copy room, dropping off the extra case paperwork by the boys’ desk, when your phone rang.

At first you looked around confused until you realised it was your phone and with stratigic moves, your crossed the room wordlessly before picking it up.

“Becker,” you answered.

Murphy watched you for a second before looking back to his files. In all honesty, he did try and listen to what was being said but you spoke so quietly that it would take a genius at lip reading to know what you said.

Something you had learnt quickly after joining the DEA was that nothing was secret. Nobody could afford it to be. So, you had learnt to speak quietly, quickly and clearly enough to know no one in the office could hear you and it swiftly became a private conversation between just you and the caller.

But it wasn’t until Peña came in that Murphy looked up. His partner tossed him his sandwich before making his way to his desk, only, once he reached the bottom of the stairs, Peña stalled in his tracks.

The conversation came to a quick end and you slammed the receiver down harsher than you had meant.

Within seconds you had opened your desk draw, placed your firearm by your side and strides towards your jacket that hung on the hook.

“Where are you going?” Peña asked.

You didn’t even look in his direction of Murphy’s. Your eyes were fixed on the doors ahead.

Part of you knew if you even thought about looking at Peña, he’d know more than what you wished even yourself to know.

“Out.”

Within seconds, you were out of the door and slipping into your car before tearing down the road.

Peña and Murphy had been having a slow day, mostly filled with typing and filing paperwork. You had been gone for hours, more than you had ever been gone and Peña hated that it worried him.

Those worries were not eased, either, when two high ranking military officers walked into the office looking for you.

Both Peña and Murphy had tried their best to find out the reason why they were looking for you - they could only both hope you hadn’t done something reckless or stupid. But no one was saying anything. Not even anyone in the office knew. And sometimes it felt like they knew anything and everything.

Peña had tried calling you but there had been no answer. He even called round your usual places looking for you - your apartment, the market stalls, the small cafe that him and yourself had found a while back when trying to avoid the hot sun of Columbia.

But you were nowhere to be found.

Until, nearly 12 hours after leaving, you turned up.

Your jacket was now draped over your arm, the baby hairs by your neck had curled due to the sweat from the heat outside.

Both Peña and Murphy had been glad they’d been stuck inside. There was less chance of dying from heat stroke. Even if they were bored out of their minds.

You had pulled your hair back into a messy ponytail but it didn’t stop the shorter hairs from framing your face.

You removed the sunglasses as you came down the step, watching as the two officers stood.

“Agent Becker?”

“That’s me.”

“We need to talk.”

You shared a look with the two men - maybe they already knew that you knew. After all, this was mandatory, coming to tell the family, wasn’t it?

You showed no other emotion on your face before you directed the two men into an empty office where they sat and you opted to stand. If you turned around, you’d face them and anyone would could see in through the windows. So, you kept your back to the two men and the window, whilst looking out the window in front of you and onto the streets below.

It was like you could feel Peña’s eyes on you the whole time. You didn’t even have to look back.

The only reason why you didn’t shut the shutters fully was because one; they were broken anyway, and two; it would only raise more suspicion. You didn’t need the office gossiping about your life. You were already one of the only females in the office who was an actual agent. You didn’t want more judgement or gossip.

You listened to the officers words as they told you the news you had already found out.

Of course, no official higher than a CSI or Coroner would know that you already knew. The call had come from a friend who wasn’t too far from the place. They thought it was better you found out of your own, rather than through some military official.

By the time they finished speaking, you turned back to them and thanked them for coming to you, to which they nodded with solem looks before replacing their hats and making their way out of the office.

They bid good evening to Peña and Murphy who only looked back to where you stood in the office, your attention fixed on the people outside.

You and Peña, from first meeting, had a connection. It was what made you great partners when working. You knew what the other was think or doing before it was said aloud.

Which was why you knew he was stood by the office door before he even opened his mouth.

“I’m good, Peña. Everything’s good.”

“Are you sure?”

You turned around once you knew that any tears that wished to make their way out were fully gone.

“I’m sure.”

Quickly, you made your way out of the door causing Peña to move back, but as you grabbed your jacket, Peña was by your side again.

“Becker-“ You moved away quickly.

“Tell Messina I’ll be back in tomorrow.”

Standing with his hands on his hips and a worried expression on his face, he called out to you again, but this time, with one foot on the step, you turned around.

“Durazno,” Peña hadn��t meant to say it too loud. After all, the story behind it was one just between the two of you. Maybe if others paid attention, they’d realise why, but it was something only he called you.

He didn’t have to say anything else. Just the look on his face was enough.

“Honestly, Javi.” You said in a slightly softer tone than before. “I’m good. Everything’s fine.”

All he could do is watch you walk away. By the time he returned to his desk, Steve’s eyes hadn’t left him once.

He’d heard Peña call you by that name a few times over the last year or so. Often it was only said late at night when no one was really in the office, or when Peña wanted information that you wouldn’t share with him - even when you wanted to. But whenever he said it, it was always affectionate.

“Do you think she’ll tell us?”

Peña pulled his chair in and folded his hands, scratching his brow, “I don’t know.”

You could be stubborn at times, Peña knew that. Whenever it came to something personal that you shouldn’t be dealing with alone, you were even more so. Peña knew that, too.

But it wouldn’t be too long until he found out the truth.

It took around a week before the papers would publish the names of those who had died in a shoot out.

There was always plenty of crime in Columbia so when Murphy was flicking through the paper, he didn’t take much heed to the crimes that had happened or else he’d never be calm.

After 20 minutes of reading, he threw the paper down.

“Fucking assholes. Three military boys dead in a stone cold shoot out about 2 hours out. Fuck.”

Pena, holding his cigarette between his lips, picked up the paper and fanned it out.

“Page 5.” Steve told him.

Flicking through, Peña eventually found it and when he did, it felt like the world finally levelled out.

Steve looked over after a few minutes of silence. Peña’s eyes were fixed on one name in particular.

“What? What is it?” Murphy asked.

That was when Peña looked up since you had hopped down the steps of the office and towards your desk.

You were busy with work so hadn’t spotted Peña’s eyes fixed on you as you moved about.

“Nothing.” Peña answered, tossing the paper back down. “Nothing.”

Thankfully, Peña’s phone rang with a tip on someone.

You still hadn’t mentioned anything. Maybe you would now that the article was out. But in all honesty, you were praying that Peña didn’t see the article. He was the only one who knew to link your name to one of the officers in the article.

And your chances were good since it wasn’t often he bought a paper.

But when you saw the paper on Murphy’s desk, you could only pray he hadn’t see in - or had forgotten.

But this was Peña.

When it came to you, he forgot nothing.

You thought you had gotten away with it, for a while at least.

When it came to personal things, you didn’t like talking about them much. You believed you’d be better at your job if you just ignored the feelings. Yeah, maybe feel sad once in a while, or angry. But you didn’t have that luxury of knowing that your anger would be accepted…by anyone.

You lose track of a CI, having no idea if they’re dead or not? Keep your emotions buried. You lose a partner on the job even though you had told your boss it wasn’t safe to split up? You bottle up any anger you have and take it out on the gun range.

By the time night fell, you found yourself swamped in work. It was only when Messina came out from her office and told you to go home that you realised how late it was.

“You are allowed to grieve, Becker.” She told you. “We all know what it’s like to lose someone. Nobody would judge you for taking a few days.”

Your voice was quiet when you spoke. You’d barely said anything all day, it was like you had only just woke up when you talked aloud.

“Thank you, Boss. But…”

You didn’t quite know what to say. Any family you had talked to was angry. Angry that he had died. Angry that he had joined the military in the first place. Angry that you hadn’t looked after him better.

Messina nodded. “Talk to Peña.”

Messina knew you two were close. Sometimes it felt like the two of you were more attached by the hip than Murphy and Peña were.

“I-,” you paused and looked down to your papers for a moment. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Talk to Peña.” She repeated. “You should at least tell someone about him. Have a drink, share a couple of memories. Grieve.”

You could do nothing but nod.

“Go home, Becker. Get some rest.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

It took a little longer than 10 minutes but eventually you made your way outside and to your car.

His funeral would be back in the states in a couple of days. Maybe you’d grieve then.

Your drive home was silent. Usually, you’d play some kind of music to bide your time. But not tonight. Tonight the drive was completely silent. There was no noise apart from the rumbling of your car engine.

But the moment you pulled up outside your apartment block, you took a few minutes.

You couldn’t get out just yet. You needed to breath.

Slowly, you rested your head on your steering wheel and it’s listened to the noise outside. Someone was having a party a couple blocks away. You wondered what they were celebrating. Life? A wedding? An engagement? Promotion? Just because?

Soon, you found your body switching to auto pilot.

You climbed out of your car, shutting the door behind you. You reached into the back and grabbed your bag before shutting the door again and locking your car.

That was when you looked up to the steps of your building.

Peña slowly stood when he knew you’d spotted him.

How long had he been there?

“A short while.”

So you had said the question aloud.

You walked around your car and towards the steps and door of your apartment.

“How precise.” You mocked.

“Well, I am known for my transparency.”

That made you smile a little as you slipped your key into the lock.

Peña followed you inside, you locking the door behind him.

“What are you doing here, Peña?”

“I got worried.”

“Like I told you last week, everything is good.” You breezed past him and into your sitting room/kitchen, dropping your bag by the sofa.

“I know about the shootings.”

Well, there went your chance of hope that he didn’t know.

“I’m fine, Javi.”

“But you’re not.”

“How would you know what I’m feeling? You’re not me.”

“You’re right,” Javier said, defeatedly. “But I know you, maybe better than you think. Durazno, por favor.”

You couldn’t look at him. Not yet, anyway. You just rested your hands on your kitchen counter where the bottle of fresh orange juice you’d just grabbed from your fridge was dripping condensation.

“I can’t, Javi. Not right now.”

“Okay.” He agreed.

Removing his hands from his hips, he paced on the spot for a moment. Part of him wanted to hug you. The other wanted to leave you alone knowing you’d come and find him when you were ready to talk.

“Do you want— do you want me to-“

Neither of you really knew what the end of the sentence was going to be. Stay? Hold you? Leave? Make food? He knew you’d probably not eaten in a while since you’d been swimming in paper work all day.

“I’ll be okay, Javi.” You looked at him over your shoulder now. He could see where the tears in your eyes wanted to show but you were still fighting them off. “I promise.”

Javi looked at you and his heart broke.

For as long as he’d known you, you’d been tough. Tougher than any agent he’d ever known. Even in cases where he could no longer look, you went in for him. You dealt with the tough cases, you kept your emotions at bay as best you could.

He’d known you so long, he knew by the amount of holes in your targets how much you were really feeling.

But no one else did.

Peña was always there for you, even during the times you didn’t want him to be.

He knew you.

And you knew him.

That was how you knew from just the look in his eyes and the slight shift in his body language when he was looking at you that his heart was breaking, and watching yours break, broke his all the more.

You managed to pull yourself together for a few minutes, turning around and folding your arms across your body with a small, forced smile.

“Go home, Javi. It’s late.”

“Alright.” Javi moved after a couple of seconds, rubbing his mustashe and looking around him. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“Bye.” You’re voice came out faint as you watched him walk away.

The next few days were filled with longing and worried looks from Peña. He was watching your every move.

And in all honesty, was so Messina.

That was why she pulled Javier into her office when you had taken your lunch break.

“I need you to go with her back to the states.”

“Boss?”

Claudia intertwined her fingers and layer them on the desk.

“You and Becker are attached by the hip and since I’m the only one who can see the worry in your eyes every time you look in her general direction, I take it you know.”

Peña nodded.

“We both know that people grieve in their own ways but we also know Becker is one of the best agents on this team. I need to know that she’ll be fit to come back to work here with at least a little emotion attached.”

“What about my cases?”

“Murphy has agreed to take them on.” she stated. “I’m risking letting two agents leave to ensure both come back, not just one. Do you understand, Agent Peña?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.”

Peña caught the next flight out from yours, but you wouldn’t know this until a few days later when he, like both an angel and devil, appeared by your side at the funeral.

Everyone else had began walking back to your childhood home where they would have the final drinks that would probably disappear into the late night as they remembered him.

But you had stayed.

Your dress covered your knees and the heels your aunt had chosen were beginning to hurt your feet. God, why did shoes have to hurt so much? Weren’t they made to protect your feet? Not kill them slowly in blinding pain?

But you didn’t have much time to think because you heard someone steadily approaching from behind. At first, you thought it was the minister. Isn’t this the part where he tells you some shit about life and it’s wonders and how death just continues that? Life and death, no matter what, it’s just one big journey?

God, you hoped not.

And your prayers were answered because the person who stood beside you was not a minister but it was someone who you trusted with your life completely.

But he wasn’t meant to be here.

“Javier.” You’re voice came out shocked and you began to look around you. “Is-“

“Relax,” he told you. “It’s just me. Thought you might like a friendly face.”

Once you recovered from the initial shock that he was in the states, stood beside you and not sat across from Murphy in Columbia where you thought he was, you gave a soft nod and smile before turning back to the dirt covered hole in the ground.

“For what it’s worth,” you said after a long time of silence, “I’m kinda glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

That was when he took your hand in his. He watched your hand intertwined with his for a moment but when he looked up, your gaze was fixed straight ahead.

“When we were kids…we’d play by the park, just down the street.”

Javi knew which one she meant. He’d passed it on the walk down to the church.

“A couple years ago, we came back here for my cousin’s wedding. It had gotten too loud for my liking so, I took a walk and about 30 minutes later, there he was, walking up the park path with two beer bottles in his hands. We just…we stayed out there until dad came looking for us. Mom was driving him so mad,” you laughed a little as you pictured it in your head. “Just…everything about the night reminded me of when we were teenagers and just…he was there for me, you know.” You couldn’t stop the small tears that began to fall. “I should have been there for him.”

“Hey, no. Don’t think like that.” Javier squires your hand and pulled you closer until you were facing him. With his other hand, he wiped away the escaped tears from your face.

“I don’t know what I’m meant to do. He was my brother, Javi. He was the only one who-” you said trying your hardest not to cry.

“You grieve,” Javier told you. Swiftly, he pulled you in for a hug, his hand resting in your hair at the back of your head. “You grieve him.” Peña repeated. “And you remember him.”

After that, you gripped onto him a little tighter.

Neither of you cared how long you stood there. You grieved for your brother and all the memories you shared. And Peña would have stood all day and night if he had to.

You deserved to grieve. You deserved to cry. You deserved to be able to remember your brother without any judgment from anyone.

Eventually, you pulled away from Javier and he wiped the last few tears away. You both gathered there would be more later, but in that moment you were exhausted.

“Come on,” Peña’s voice was soft and calm. Slowly, he peeled himself from you for a moment to remove his blazer before putting it over your shoulders, securing his arm in the same place as you both began to make your way back to your childhood home.

Everyone was either falling asleep on the sofa watching old reruns or they were outside, talking and laughing through the tears of old memories.

“Come on,” Peña spoke softly again.

On the way down to the house, he’d gotten you talking about family and about other things to help distract you.

Taking your hand, he led you upstairs. Your other hand remained attached to the bottom of his shirt as he climbed the stairs.

“Which way?”

You pointed down the hall and he continued into the bedroom, peeling back the covers and finding you some pajamas that you had packed.

“Can you stay with me?” You asked as he places the clothes on your lap.

He was crouched down now, his hands still on the clothing. Your body was on auto pilot once again. Your fingers tracing his, tears in your eyes once more. “Please.”

After a moment, Javier nodded.

10 minutes later, he climbed into bed with you and lay by your side.

You didn’t quite know why, but he calmed you. Everything about him calmed you. Even in the most stressful situations at work, he calmed you.

His hand was tracing your hair absentmindedly, and once he knew you had fallen asleep, he placed a soft kiss to your head.

A few hours passed and neither you or Peña had moved from the position you’d both fallen asleep in.

It had been your dad, Frank, to open the door. He’d been woken by his wife, telling him to go to be before he got a bad back again for falling asleep on the recliner. He’d asked for you and she told him that she hadn’t see you in hours. Last she knew, some guy was approaching you as the service was wrapping up.

He was careful when opening the door and when he saw you covered and wrapped securely in the arms of the stranger, he then realised who the stranger was.

He’d heard the stories of a certain Co-worker. The same man you’d met years ago on a work trip.

In most recent months, he’d come to know one Javier Peña even if Peña didn’t have a clue who Frank was. Although, Frank could guess since he seemed to know about his son and your brother, he had a pretty good idea that Peña knew who the main people in the family were.

Softly, he shut the door behind him.

Tomorrow could wait for questions. Tonight, everyone needed rest.

When tomorrow finally came, you woke before Javi which was something. Sometimes it felt like he was up at the crack of dawn to beat the roosters.

But not this morning.

Carefully, you removed yourself from his grip, slipped out of bed, and headed into the en-suit bathroom. You didn’t fully close the door knowing the sound of a lock would wake Peña in an instant.

For a few moments, you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

Your eyes were less puffy, but sleep still remained in the corners. Your hair floated around your face and with the t-shirt you wore, your skin seemed like it was fading.

So, running the tap, you quickly splashed your face with water before turning the tap off and drying your skin.

By the time you finished, you just stood there for a few moments. It felt like everything was on a slant whilst also being grounded.

You’d lost people before, like this. But it…it never felt this way.

The moment you heard Isabella’s voice on the other end of the phone and what she was saying, it felt like your world was spinning g and you was doing everything you could just to keep it still and let you move.

Your eyes had been fixed on the office door and by the time you arrived, there were soldiers everywhere and CSI cleaning up the bodies.

People were yelling and taking statements about what had happened. Meanwhile, you could see the outline of three bodies in body bags on top of gurneys. And your eyes focused in on one.

In all honesty, the looked the same. But, for some reason, you focused on the second one. You just knew.

You quickly flashed your badge to get past the guards and flashed it to the CSI that was taking pictures.

If Javi or anyone else had been there, they probably would have told you not to look. You didn’t need to see your brother in that state.

But you needed to know.

The words came out of you quietly as you signaled to the bag. The Coroner opened it up and…you didn’t know where to put yourself.

There he was, three bullet hole in his chest.

“Do they know if it was a targeted attack?” You asked before repeating it in Spanish.

The consensus was no. In fact, your brother has been trying to save a baby from getting caught in the cross fire. Some kind of family feud in the middle of the street and a baby in its carrier had been pushed into the road.

Your brother had died to save a child.

He would forever be known as a hero.

Always.

You found yourself slipping from the memory as you felt a hand touch the top of your arm. That was when you saw Javi.

“Hey, you-“

You nodded quickly. “I’m okay.”

“Hey, wait.”

“What?” You quickly turned back, Javi taking your hand in his.

You both stood close to one another, your eyes searching his wondering what he wanted to say whilst his just stayed fixed on you. There was still that look of longing in his eyes.

He wanted to ask you a million questions and in his head, he was. But out loud, he spoke softly and said one thing with a smile.

“Good morning,”

You couldn’t help but smile back. “Good morning.”

Sentences were spoken wordlessly between you until finally you could hear clattering downstairs from your mom being up and making breakfast.

“We’d better-“

“Yep.”

Neither of you got dressed too much. Peña had changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel whilst you remained in your pjs top, just shoving on a pair of shorts in place of your joggers.

“Have you seen-“

You didn’t have to finish your sentence as Peña was already passing you a bobble as you scooped your hair up.

“Thanks.”

By the time you both made it downstairs, you took the pans from your mother. She wasn’t in any state to be doing anything, never mind cooking breakfast.

“No, I have to- I have to do this.”

You stood your ground. “Mom. Go and sit down. Dad’s in the living room. Go.”

Eventually, your mom gave in.

Usually, you were both as stubborn as one another and it would have been your brother who would have become the mediator between you both. A single word from him and your mom would melt. She’d go and sit down and be singing his praises.

In the kitchen, Javi helped you cook breakfast for your family.

One day, it would get easier. It would be something you’d always hold in your heart but not so much in your head.

But having Peña by your side, it was less tense. Less like a weight on your shoulders that you couldn’t show anyone because your knew it was safe. You knew it was safe to fall if you couldn’t take it anymore because Peña would be there to catch you.

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