Tumgik
#clueless bastard
nikoisme · 5 months
Note
Is your kitty cat a polite lil fella? Who patiently waits for his food and has good table manners? Or is he a sassy lil guy? Who wreaks havoc upon the people at the slightest inconvenience, whose attitude is immeasurable?
Or is he a kitty "of many ways"?
Oh she's a kitty of many ways for sure.
(slightly lengthy post because I like talking about my cat whoops)
She doesn't like to be bothered most of the time. She likes only a select few people,, and even those people are sometimes afraid to approach her. It's almost like she has a resting bitch face - everyone tells me she looks at them like she will murder them. And I'm like "oh don't worry she looks at everyone like that." She is an absolute unit - not in a way that she's overweight - she's just really muscly and fluffy. Sometimes she will see me and be like "oh my god it's youuu :DD" and then she will stop and go "oh it's you 😒" before walking away. But she does like attention,, except ONLY when she wants it. and she will physically demand it if you don't give it to her immediately. Just today she started meowing at me because she wanted to sit in my lap. When I bent over to pick her up she started screaming at me in protest. So I moved away having decided that she probably didn't want to hang out after all. But then she started meowing at me again - turns out she wanted to jump in my lap BY HERSELF. WOW.
I taught her to sit when I tell her to,, so I practice some table manners before giving her food. She does pretty nicely,, but sometimes she will climb up just to knock it down. And then of course she goes mrrp. So.
The funny thing is that since I taught her to sit using food - which is something she always wants - I guess her thought process now is "sit = food. food = what i want. sit = get what you want". So she does it CONSTANTLY. when she wants to enter somewhere, when she wants to be pet, etc. she makes a whole show of walking in front of me and getting my attention - and then sitting down and looking back and forth between me and the thing she wants.
Honestly depends on the day really. Sometimes she will be all friendly and sweet, and sometimes you can't even look in her direction. But I still love her very very much hahah <33
She's a calico cat by the way. Hope that explains something.
10 notes · View notes
hybridreviews · 4 months
Text
Anime Discovery and Time of the Season present: THE TOP 30 BEST ANIME OF 2023!!!
Here we are. This year, I have added 5 more spots of the top anime spots. Despite me saying that 2023 is a weird year for… well, everything, this year for anime is always changing for me. Like, in the 2020s, I have been liking more and more romantic comedy anime and occasionally, the odd duck here and there and the latter is always my go-to pick on something interesting (like Appare-Ranman! In…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
2 notes · View notes
femmegalatea · 6 months
Text
cupid andrew OH MY GOD CUPID ANDREW!!! HES A HOPELESS ROMANTIC AND WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE! BE LOVED! BUT THAT LANDS HIM IN TROUBLE!!!!
2 notes · View notes
Note
First of all let me apologise in advance for being a clueless bastard.
But what in the living hellsite is a blorbo?
6 notes · View notes
b3crew · 11 months
Text
REVIEW | "My Clueless First Friend" | B3 - Boston Bastard Brigade
Tumblr media
Even when watching a sad film or TV series, I rarely ever cry. Yet there I was, with tears running down my cheek as I watched My Clueless First Friend, the latest series from Studio Signpost (formerly Pierrot Plus). Based on the manga by Taku Kawamura, the anime showcases a down-to-earth take on bullying, with one simple premise: what if the most bullied kid in school finally made a friend? The end result is something that’s not just magical, but has the potential to be life-changing.
The bullied kid is fifth grader Akane Nishimura (Konomi Kohara), who is teased for her goth-like looks. Every student there calls her “Grim Reaper”, and says that hanging out with her will give anyone a curse. That’s when transfer student Taiyou Takada (Shizuka Ishigami) enters her life. Not only is Taiyou not afraid to talk to Akane, but he thinks people calling her “Grim Reaper” is the coolest thing ever.
Tumblr media
From there, Akane finds herself with her very first friend. Taiyou is in awe of Akane, with him constantly asking her questions about her “Grim Reaper” powers. Akane does her best to brush it off, but Taiyou manages to make the girl fluster with the level of positivity he spouts from his mouth. Even as other students like Kitagawa (Kohei Amasaki) and Kasahara (Waianae Maruoka) warn Taiyou that hanging with Akane will leave him cursed, Taiyou welcomes the chance to gain such curses, as it’ll bring him closer to Akane and her “coolness”.
Although it’s called My Clueless First Friend, Taiyou may actually be on the ball when it comes to Akane’s treatment by others. He often calls their bluff when they bully her, with a power that only a Reverse Uno card normally dishes out. From saying that he’ll gladly eat Kitagawa’s servings of the stew Akane helped make to twisting Kasahara’s words into making her cruelty sound more positive, Taiyou manages to find a way to keep Akane’s head held high during their time in class. There’s even a moment where he gets Kitagawa to admit that Akane’s a normal girl, to which Taiyou asks: “Well how come you’re treating her so differently?”
Tumblr media
Click here to read the rest of the review!
2 notes · View notes
royalreef · 1 year
Text
@bluemoonmuses​ replied to your post:
NOTHING MIRI GO BACK TO BED. IT'S JUST SOME LANDFOLK SLANG DW- 
Tumblr media
       “What kind of landfolk slang? What does it mean?” It’s too late, she’s already out of bed and wondering what all the fuss is about.
3 notes · View notes
yellowistheraddest · 1 year
Text
going to bed, don't think ill draw tomorrow as my anxiety is telling me that its about time to start preparing for my finals
3 notes · View notes
thechosenanubis · 8 months
Text
Why are the villains always the funniest characters to write? Honestly I'm having a blast.
Like they're evil, manipulative and self-serving , but by God if they aren't hilarious.
1 note · View note
riidethesun · 1 year
Text
Would be~hind your back be preferable~?
0 notes
prince-liest · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
More thoughts on Alastor and why I don't think he's actually outdated:
I totally understand why many thoughts are going in the direction of him disliking Vox and TV as a whole because it is the technology that more or less replaced radio in the public eye, but I also think that we (so far, as of episode 4) have never really been given any evidence that he dislikes TV on principle rather than because he dislikes Vox and Vox is TV. Like, yes, he maintains a very dated aesthetic and does things like call TV "picture shows."
But also.
He throws around phrases like, "And now he's pissy, that's the tea!" and speaks with a permanent transatlantic accent (commonly used for TV and radio during his era but not actually naturally-occuring) at literally all times. This guy is not clueless - he's putting on airs. He knows modern lingo and he uses it comfortably and naturally.
There's a fanfic that, to save my life, I cannot remember the name of, where Angel Dust asks Alastor something to the tune of, "So what I'm getting out of this conversation is that you know it's called a cell phone and you just talk like you've never seen one on purpose?" and Alastor responds with, "Naturally!" that I think hit the nail on the head.
Especially when Alastor's anachronisms are so pointed. He calls Vox's TV show a "video podcast," which, 1) a podcast is a pretty modern term for him to know, originating at some point in the early 2000s and 2) deliberately reframes Vox's entire thing in terms of an audio format. It's not television. It's a podcast (a form of audio media that originated in the desire to download online radio broadcasts) with some video tacked on, he guesses.
Anyway, the tl;dr is that while I'm sure Alastor prefers his own era, I don't think Alastor is actually outdated, I think he's being fucking annoying on purpose.
Look at him. Look at his smug knifecat face. Bastardous. I love him.
ETA: The fanfic I mentioned is Anguish of the Marrow!
2K notes · View notes
letterlitter · 20 days
Text
Pacify Her
Lando Norris x reader
•Tags: smut, toxic Lando, hate-fuck, makeup sex
•Loosely based on a song by Melanie Martinez with the same title.
•Wordcount: 1.6k
Tumblr media
It was unbearable how Lando squeezed this new girl's thigh and whispered in her ear. You knew it was to make you jealous, he was a tease even more when you two were in a relationship. You had really bad arguments that let to the decision of splitting, but since you didn't want to break up the friend group, you agreed to just say the relationship ended on good terms and decided to be friends which was a total lie and both of you knew it.
Now, only a couple months after everything, Lando had shown up with a new "girlfriend" which drove you absolutely mad how uncouth he could be. Bringing this girl in your group out of the blue fully knowing that neither you nor himself had moved on from that deep, long term thing you had.
She looked at you like she wanted to be your friend and get your validation so bad. You didn't know if Lando had told her you were his ex. He didn't even dare mention it when he was introducing her. You automatically hated her, although her big brown eyes seemed lovely and innocent. She didn't have a clue what she had gotten herself into. You pitied her cluelessness.
You noticed Lando's griny glances at you, he kept making sure you were looking before each kiss he left on her cheek. The bastard had all his moves coordinated and planned but you had been with him for too long not to see right through his facade.
You were at your limit, who was he to inflict this hurt on you after all that he had done?
Rage made your body dense as you walked towards Lando's house the night after, when you made sure nobody else was with him. His Friday nights had always been free on purpose to sleep until noon, game, and sleep again. You remember trying to wake him up for lunch and he was dead asleep because he had stayed awake to play with friends.
You rang and he buzzed the door open without asking. Walking towards the stairs you noticed the rose garden you had planted in a corner. The thought of Lando's face after a thorn had poked him in the arm and how he treated the flowers as his enemies forced your lips into a fainted smile. You hated that his memories made you happy. You hated it was him you had those memories with.
You pushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on why you were here. Lando opened the door, a confused look on his face, "y/n? What is it why are you here?"
"We need to talk." And you stormed in.
"Please come in, make yourself comfortable." The sarcasm in his voice was familiar, and now that you weren't in love with him, infuriating.
"Want to talk about what?"
"About how you're being such an asshole."
"Excuse me?"
"Don't act like this Lando I know you did those things on purpose."
"Damn I don't know what you're talking about." He kept his sarcastic tone. You hated it.
You pushed his chest back in anger, "stop playing with me. You know damn well this girl you keep bringing is just a doll to mess with my head."
Lando smiled as if he had been expecting these words from you.
"This is way too low, even for you Lando."
"Everyone thinks we're friends, why can't friends introduce their new girlfriends to their other friends?"
"I'm not everyone. I know this is a lie stop trying to make it sound casual."
"What do you expect me to do? Stay single until you're over me?"
"Yes!" The loud sound that exited your mouth surprised you as it did Lando. You never planned to sound weak or needy. You just wanted to get closure, "look. I'm not trying to control your life or whatever, but what you're doing to make me jealous is messy and fucking pathetic. Fix it. Goodbye." And you started walking towards the door.
"Well did it work?" Lando's voice stopped you. He sounded sort of genuine for the first time in months.
You kept silent and still, wondering what to answer. Turning around to face him you said, "well do you love her?"
"Of course I do. She's very real."
You took one step closer, "stop lying."
Lando took a step closer to you, "stop being jealous."
You took one more step, "she looks way too innocent for you. I pity her."
Lando took another step , "I can teach her."
-"Funny."
-"I know."
-"You're insufferable."
-"I know."
Silence.
Now you were only one step away from eachother. Only one breath. You were mad at him and the tension felt heavy in the air as the sun was halfway set. His eyes looked crazy blue in the last golden rays of sunshine coming in fron his big windows. His face stingy and lips so soft it made you even more angry at him.
Your self control was getting shaky and you felt it shatter when Lando swinged his arms up to hold your face to kiss you deeply on the lips.
You squeezed your hand on his arm in protest to rip him off of you before it was too late but he was desperate.
He kept kissing you harder and harder like you gave him air to breathe.
You hated this. You hated the way his body pulled you in and you hated how it felt so good. He knew his way with you. Every single button, all the nooks and crannies.
You finally eased into the kiss, letting go of Lando's hoodie that was balled up in your fist and started to kiss him back.
His hands unzipped your sweatshirt and pulled it off your arms as soon as he felt that you wanted this as well. You let him. He slipped his hand under your tshirt, pinching your belly, messaging your back.
You let out a heavy exhale.
"I missed you." He whispered into your mouth, putting his lips on yours before you could say anything back.
Lando's hands moved down to your jeans but you held onto his hand to prevent him from going on. He stopped kissing you.
It was all too much for you and you hated him for being so good at this. You stared dead into his eyes, knowing full well that you were helpless, and said, "you fucking bastard."
He giggled when you pressed your debating lips on his again.
You let him kiss your lips, your neck, your collarbone, your breasts, your belly. You let him get down on his knees for you, between your legs.
His wet tongue on you made you jump in a surprising pleasure. The tip of his tongue moving in circular motions, in search of the place that made you moan the loudest. You tried fighting the sensation but failed miserably when he raised his finger to your entrance, messaging and warning about what's to come.
The moan that left your lips after he pushed his finger inside you was involuntary. You could feel Lando smiling on your pussy with the sound. He kept moving his tongue with your hand in his curls; pumping his finger and pulling moans out of you until you felt like you could take it no more. That's when Lando pulled his now soaked finger out and stood up, Leaving you clenching around nothing.
He faced you again to continue his kisses; you could taste yourself on his lips as he took off your tshirt and your bra, leaving you completely naked in the middle of the house. He looked at you once more before taking off his own hoodie you've been pulling on to get rid of since the start, he turned you around and got closer. His bulge rubbing against your butt from under his sweatpants.
"You're so pretty." He whispered into your ear, "wait here okay?"
You turned around to see him almost run to his bedroom to get condoms and you got a chance to take a look at his smooth, tan skin as he walked back.
Lando kissed you shoulder and your back as he slowly bent you over the handle of the couch. Messaging your body as he bent on you to let you feel his skin, his pants were off, your could feel his hard dick against the back of your leg. He adjusted himself on you and pushed in. You weren't hesitant to moan anymore. His length inside you was a familiar sensation of pleasure after this long. He was all you needed.
Lando started pumping deeper into you, making you feel fully stretched. You could hear his little groans and exhales when he grabbed your neck to make you arch your back more, pulling your head towards his mouth. "I bet nobody fucked you like this since I was gone." And he started moving faster. You pushed back your body into his, blurring the lines infront of your eyes.
You came within seconds after that.
He pulled out of you. You turned around quickly, grabbed his shoulders and lead him to the couch to sit down.
"Could you ever teach her this?"
And you climbed on top of him, each leg on each side. Leading his still erect dick to your hole and pushing down on him. Lando threw his head back with a moan. You took his hands and put them on your ass. He squeezed his hands with every movement you made.
You started kissing under his ear, where you knew he was sensitive. Moans started turning into whimpers and he started pushing up his legs towards you. You both moved faster as you reached your high. You nails dug into Lando's shoulder and his hands tight around your back when you both came and you collapsed into his arms.
****
"What a stupid decision." You said through your panting and you both giggled since you knew you were going to make more.
Tumblr media
(This is the first time I'm posting a smut one shot online sorry if it's short or lacking♡)
905 notes · View notes
229zmi · 2 months
Text
BLIND DATE
Tumblr media
Kuroo Tetsurō/Reader | 1.1k words, fluff, reader is a little clueless at first, based off of this tiktok
Tumblr media
“I’m sorry, what? Could you— sorry, could you repeat that?”
At the sound of Kuroo’s cackles echoing throughout the study room (that you had booked for yourself, and then he decided to invade it after spotting you through the window), you shake your head, feeling the regret creep up your neck like smoke rising from flames. Still, he continues to offer half-assed apologies in between abrupt laughs, as if that’ll soothe your embarrassment in any way.
“You heard me the first time.” You scowl when he opens his mouth to deny it, feigning cluelessness with a dumbfounded look on his face. “And your sense of humour sucks by the way. It wasn’t that funny.”
“But it is. You really want me, out of all the people, to set you up with someone?” He grins, twirling a pen around his fingers. Inwardly, you wish for the pen to suddenly fly out of control, for him to finally have a moment of failure that will eventually spiral into his downfall in the hopefully near future (a few seconds from now), but it never happens.
“Just one date,” you say, with venom preemptively hanging from the tip of your tongue in case you need to further defend yourself.
However, he surprises you when all he does is lean back in his chair instead of bursting into a fit of laughter again. His eyebrows furrow in thought, and the pen stills in his hand; he sets it down atop his notebook.
“I know someone who has a small crush on you,” he tells you after a beat. You straighten at the newfound information, suddenly interested.
“Really? Are they a friend of yours? Who is it?”
Kuroo — that bastard — shakes his head, now sporting a smug smile as he crosses his arms. “That’s classified information, I’m afraid.”
You groan. “You can’t just say that and not tell me who it is! C’mon, can you at least give me a hint?”
“Sure. What kind of hint?”
Your question hurtles toward him at lightning speed, only half-joking. “Are they rich?”
Waving his finger disapprovingly, he reprimands you, “Such a shallow question. I’m disappointed in you.”
“Yeah, well, are they?”
“Can’t say he is. He’s a college student, same university and year as us,” he says, and you act devastated over the news, slapping a dramatic hand over your chest. It’s too bad your dreams of becoming someone’s sugar baby have been crushed so tragically like this, though you suppose there are other important factors to consider as well.
“Is he—?”
“Hey, you said a hint, not multiple hints.”
“Oh, shut it. Is he hot?”
“Very,” he confirms, so quickly that it’s almost suspicious. You eye him warily, to which he shrugs. “What? Birds of a feather flock together, or something like that.”
“Yeah, okay. So he’s butt-ugly, then, by association with you.” At that, Kuroo kicks your knee as you snicker to yourself.
“You know that by saying that, you’re also calling yourself butt-ugly. Plus, I’m doing you a grand favour, and this is what I get in return?” A long sigh escapes him. “Absolutely nothing but insults. Unbelievable.”
“You’re such a baby.”
“Nothing but insults,” he repeats.
You roll your eyes. There’s no winning with him. “Fine, then. I’ll lend you my old statistics textbook. You’re taking Intro to Stats next semester, right?”
“Yup.” He smiles, and you know you’ve got yourself a deal. “I’ll text you the location and time as soon as possible.”
Tumblr media
Disappointingly enough, your date is late.
Kuroo, however, is right on time.
You narrow your eyes at him, glancing at the outfit he’s got on. You’re used to him wearing sweatpants and hoodies with holes in the sleeves every time you see him, but today, he’s put something unusually nice on, although you’re not entirely sure why. You’re also not sure why he’s here, outside of the café and at the exact time he told you your date had agreed to meet you.
“Where’s my date?” you ask before looking around for the umpteenth time to check if he’s arrived yet. However, your movement is stopped when Kuroo gently places a hand under your chin, guiding your focus back to him.
A sly grin reveals itself; his hazel eyes twinkle beneath the glow of the café’s hanging fairy lights.
“Right here. I’m your date.”
You frown, still puzzled. “What? But you said a few days ago, you were gonna set me up with someone who—“
Wait a minute.
Oh, you realise.
Then, you shut your eyes tightly, turning away from him.
“What are you doing?” There’s a slight chuckle in his voice that he doesn’t even attempt to hide, obviously entertained by your actions. He steps to the side to see your face, but you turn away again. “Hey, is my hair really that ugly? I tried combing it down like a gazillion times this morning, I swear.”
“No, just—” You stick your arm out, and Kuroo holds onto it awkwardly, both concerned for you and unsure of what he’s supposed to do. “Pinch me, please. I think I’m dreaming.”
“Oh. You’re not dreaming,” he assures you, opting to instead rest his hands on your shoulders, yet it’s pointless in getting you to look at him. Stubborn as always, he thinks fondly.
“That’s exactly what someone in my dreams would say.”
“Ah, I see. So, I’m the man of your dreams?”
Bingo. Picturing himself doing a victory dance in his head, Kuroo watches you open your eyes to glare at him for his remark. His celebration is short-lived, though, because in a matter of seconds, you’re quick to point out, “You’re blushing.”
Rubbing a hand over his cheek as if to erase the pinkish hue, he denies the observation. “I’m not.”
“You are.” You feel all giddy inside, with your heart feeling like it’s about to leap out of your chest, walk inside the café, and buy a cup of coffee. You’re worried a gooey mess of feelings is what’s going to spill onto the pavement if you so much as speak too quickly, so your question comes out tentative, like a butterfly’s wings fluttering in the wind, “And… you like me?”
That, he cannot deny. But there’s a poor attempt at it anyway. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I said a small crush.”
“Really?”
“Really.” A pause. Then, he adds sheepishly, “Well, maybe it’s a little more than that.”
Your expression breaks into a grin at the confession, but before you can tease him any more for the blush that has now spread to the back of his neck, he pulls the door to the café open and uses his free hand to gesture towards the interior, bowing his head slightly.
“For my lovely date,” he says, looking up just to wink at you. Whether this is actually to charm you or just to distract you from his embarrassment, you can’t tell.
Nevertheless, as cheesy as it is, you decide to play along, intertwining your fingers through his and extending your gratitude to him for his chivalrous act before pulling him along as you head inside.
Tumblr media
notes: another kuroo fic 4 the Kuroo kissers ♥︎ tumblr user @kyoghurts i hope u like it teehee
494 notes · View notes
lowkeyremi · 1 month
Text
"I'M PREGNANT"
How they react when you tell them you're pregnant ! ft. gojo, geto, choso, toji, and nanami (fem reader)
content: no curse!au, fluff, slightly suggestive, mentions of infertility (choso), mentions of a miscarriage, established relationship (marriage + dating), children, families.
Tumblr media
Gojo Satoru
Upon arriving home from another stressful day of work, Satoru looks around for his loving, beautiful, awesomest (his words not yours), girlfriend.
"UGHH I had a HORRIBLE day today. Baby, where are you so I can tell you all about it?!!" He takes note of how most of the lights are off and he can't smell dinner. Even on your worst work days you always make dinner, so there are two things Satoru can think of off the top of his head. A. You're out with friends and forgot to tell him or, B. Something is really wrong and you're hiding from him.
His stomach drops at the idea of option B, and as much as he'd like to eliminate that option it is very possible.
"[name]? Where are you?" He asks loud enough for you to hear it from your shared bathroom. You stare silently at the three positive pregnancy tests on the floor next to you. You know it's only a matter of time before he figures it out because he's used your real name instead of a pet name.
"If you're cheating on me then don't worry. I'll only kill the bastard who dared to make a move on you." If you weren't so stressed from your current situation you might have laughed at the fact that Satoru is a clueless idiot. Why would you cheat on him?
He starts walking deeper into the apartment. Into your room, you note, because you can hear his soft footsteps.
"Tell the coward to come out, babe. I bet he's in there with you fearing for his life right now." His voice sounds deadly but you know deep inside he's probably devastated thinking you've cheated on him.
"It's just me 'Toru. I.. I um. I need a minute." He shuffles outside of the door. If you're correct he's probably pressing his ear to the door to listen for another man's voice.
"I'm unlocking the door." He says, and fuck, you forgot that there's that little key at the top of the door to unlock it.
"Toru don't!" He unlocks the door pushing it open to reveal what's going on. It all happens too fast, you launch to try and close the door. In the process, one of the three tests gets kicked. His eyes draw to the moving object. They focus in on the test and he about falls to the ground.
"B-baby.. what are those?" The silence after his sentence is so loud that you could hear the busy city life outside of the bathroom window.
"You know what they are Satoru." He makes his way over to you embracing you so delicately like he'd break you if he squeezed any harder.
"Am I gonna be a daddy?" The question is whispered softly into your ear. Your tears fall landing on his shoulder.
"If you want to keep the baby, then yes." Ultimately it's not his choice, he knows that, but he also understands that this statement you've mentioned means you've already made your decision to keep the little baby forming inside of you.
"Fuck yeah I wanna keep it! Hope it looks like me so you have two adorably cute people to look at everyday. Also what the hell, my pull out game sucks!" He starts muttering to himself about how he could have sworn he hadn't cum inside of you recently.
All your anxiety subsides, and is replaced with faint annoyance when you roll your eyes.
"I'm having second thoughts." He doesn't realize you're joking because of how serious you look.
"Waittttttt I take it back!! The baby can look like you instead PLEASEEEEE PLEASEE KEEP IT." It's astonishing how your boyfriend can go from thinking you've cheated on him to being a sap in a matter of seconds.
Geto Suguru
"Sugu... can we go get some food?" This is the sixth night in a row you've asked this question. At first, Suguru just thought you had the munchies, but after observing you, he thinks there could be a different reason for your sudden change of behavior.
"It's 2:30 in the morning doll.." You sit up sleepily to check your phone and sure enough there are about two minutes until it's 2:30 am.
"How do you do that, Sugu?" He shrugs matching your previous actions.
"You seem to be having munchies every night? You getting enough to eat?" You nod meekly to answer his question. He suspects that you're pregnant but he's not sure how to bring it up.
"I have, but I dunno.. I've just been having these crazy food dreams that make me so hungry. I don't know where it's even coming from." He responds with a nod.
You take note of how he scratches the back of his neck, when he does that he's usually thinking.
"What's on your mind, Sugu?" He sighs inwardly as you get up out of bed to go make your latest craving: pork cutlet rice bowl with a fried egg on top. You didn't even really eat pork much but now you will destroy a pork cutlet bowl.
"I think you might be pregnant." You stop as soon as those words leave his mouth. The tension in the room rises as you try to find words to say.
"I- what? What makes you say that?"
"I mean think about it, last month I came inside of you like three or four times, which is enough to get you pregnant. On top of that you were testing out that new birth control since the other one was giving you weird side effects, and now you're craving pork. You don't even like pork." His reasoning makes since, but you're in denial right now.
"...That's a strong claim to make.... I mean what if it's just munchies?" He rubs his temple before getting out of the bed to join you in a hug.
"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying I think you are. If you are, you know I'll be there every step of the way with whatever decision you choose to make." He's so understanding, it's one of the many things you love about him.
For his sake you guys go out and buy a test for you to take. You took two of them, both showing a '+'.
"Well, it looks like you're gonna be a papa, Sugu." You say handing him the test, so he can see for himself.
"You're going to make an amazing mother, my love."
Kamo Choso
The both of you were clueless to the symptoms. He'd told you it's unlikely he'd ever get you pregnant because his sperm was tested, and he's very much infertile.
So, imagine his surprise when he sees a box of pregnancy tests under the bathroom sink while he's looking for a new tube of toothpaste.
You've already left for work so he'll wait for you to return to ask you about it.
He's excited, honestly. Choso has always wanted to start a little family with you, but he figured his infertility would stop that from happening. His doctor suggested adoption or a sperm donor. The two of you quickly ruled out the second option, it just didn't feel right to you guys.
The topic of adoption has been brought up here and there. You've both considered it deeply.
Choso can't sit still, he's off work today and the excitement within him will not fade away. All day long he's humming and practicing what he'll say to you when you get home. He even started looking at baby stuff.
When he hears the door unlock he's quick to act, greeting you at the door with kissing and smiles.
"Hey baby." His smile reaches his eyes, something it hasn't done in a little while.
"Hey, Cho. You seem to be in high spirits today."
"You're pregnant?" He blurts out the question without even thinking. Shit.. he was gonna try to ease into it.
"How'd you find out? Gosh did your stupid brother tell you? I was gonna surprise you!!" Confusion takes over your face when he gasps.
"You told Yuji before me? Baby.. how could you?" He's only half joking, he's a little bit sad, of course.
"I needed to tell someone!! I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were gonna be so excited." You pull him into a hug. He quickly reciprocates forgetting why he was even upset in the first place.
"Oh, I found out because the box of tests were under the sink."
"I probably should have hidden them better..."
Fushiguro Toji
Even though this is your second baby, telling him will never get any easier. When you'd told him about your first daughter he was indifferent about it. He'd go to great lengths to avoid you. Since you couldn't get through to him your only option was to call your step-son, Megumi.
He guessed that Toji was trying to figure out how to come to terms with being a father again. You had confronted your husband and he did admit to trying to understand the changes that would be made to your lives.
He said that his first daughter with you was his first and last child with you. You agreed with him because you only wanted a small little family. That was about three years ago. Here you are sitting on your bed looking at the test. Your daughter is playing on the floor with her toys.
"Mama, what wrong?" For her age she's quite perceptive. She must get that from Toji you think.
"Remember when you were telling Mama that you wanted a little sister or brother?" You'll break the news to her first. Her reaction will be the cuter and less stressful one.
"Mhm." Toji insisted on getting a bed frame that's somewhat high off the ground, so your little girl is standing right next to the bed waiting for you to pick her up.
Her deep green eyes stare deep into your soul as do your husband's eyes when he looks at you. She's sitting with her legs folded on your bed waiting for you to continue.
"Well.. you're going to have a little sibling." She springs up like a rocket, cheering in happiness.
"And when were you planning to tell me?" Your eyes quickly flicker over to the door frame which Toji is leaning against. There's a smug look on his face, nothing malice. Maybe he wants another one?
"Uh- Toji, baby, I was going to tell you soon. I just... Nami, my sweet girl? Can you go play with toys while mama and dad talk?" With ease she slides off your bed and walks out of your room.
Toji closes the door behind her ensuring she doesn't get nosy. "I didn't know how to tell you. You seemed really set on only having one.."
"I say stupid stuff all the time then change my mind. Do you really think I'd get mad at you for being pregnant? I'm the one who got you pregnant."
For once you don't know what to say.. you did think he'd be upset. Now that he's reassuring you all your anxiety washes away.
"I mean if it's another girl I might end it all." He's only joking, but you think another girl would be pretty funny.
"You're so stupid." He smirks at you, "You like it." Toji's not wrong, you do like it.
Nanami Kento
He could tell before you could. Everything started to add up when you complained about your back hurting, you hadn't mentioned period cramps in awhile and you seemed to be more clingy than Kento's ever seen you before.
It would make sense, he thinks. You'd gotten off of birth control last year and he stopped using condoms when you two got married. He wants kids more than you do, he believes. That want became more prominent after your first baby died three months into the pregnancy.
It would be cute to see you walk around with a round belly, complaining about little things like not being able to put your shoes on, or something of the sorts. He could once again experience that paternal feeling he felt awhile back.
"Honey, what're you daydreaming about now?" You ask joining him on the couch.
"Do you think you might be pregnant?" He asks suddenly taking you by surprise.
"I haven't really thought about it but it would make sense. The aches, cravings, yeah." If he were any normal man he'd get you a pregnancy test, but honey, this is Nanami Kento. You have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day.
When you arrive at your appointment with your husband the doctor has you pee in a little cup and he asks a bunch of boring but necessary questions.
On the drive home you notice Kento tapping the wheel to the tune of the song you're playing. He's never really liked your music tastes so he must really be excited.
"I can't wait to get the results." You nod in complete bliss. You're still trying to process the potential pregnancy. There was a time in the past; two months after you'd gotten off your birth control, you ended up pregnant but unfortunately your little baby passed away before being born.
There's hope in your heart that this baby is here to stay... a rainbow baby.
Within a few hours the doctor calls your husband telling him the results are positive. You're going to be a mother if this baby stays strong.
"We're going to be parents." He's so excited but he tries to contain his excitement.
"You're going to be a great daddy, Ken." He smiles dreamily at you. This is a dream come true to him. He couldn't think of anything better.
"I just know this is the one, Honey. We aren't going to lose this one." He tells you quietly with a little smile and you trust him. After all, Kento would never lie to you.
447 notes · View notes
stangalina · 7 months
Text
Jaskier is teaching at Oxenfurt over the winter and for the whole season he's consistently ill. Not bedridden, but woozy, a little stuffy. Slightly sickly but not enough to be any form of concerning, except for maybe how long it's been going on. Occasionally the symptoms ramp up, or change slightly, but it never renders him unable to function.
THEN, near the end of the winter, someone catches one of the "new hires" sneaking poison into Jaskiers food!
They arrest them for, you know, trying to poison a fucking viscount, but the attempted assassin isn't scared or silent when brought in for interrogation. They're LIVID.
They have been trying ALL BLOODY WINTER to poison this one guy. They have tried every single fucking poison under the goddamn sun and this man has just had the SNIFFLES as a result. They couldn't resort to attacking because that would leave a trace, so they just kept trying poison after poison in higher and higher dosages while getting more and more frustrated that this one flouncy drama queen refuses to die!
They demand answers from Jaskier. They know they're going to be sentenced to death, so they at the very least want to know how the FUCK he did it.
And Jaskier has no idea. Not a clue. Nada. Nothing. Genuinely clueless as to how he's apparently immune to every single poison in an assassins arsenal.
And then, suddenly while trying to fall asleep, it hits him.
He's immune to every single poison in an assassins arsenal.
The only way to become immune to poison is via repeated exposure. Small doses. Working your way up decimal by decimal. He hasn't been doing that.
So who has? Who in his life has access to his food, alchemic knowledge, and poison readily on hand? Who in his life cares enough to spend years slowly making him immune to every single type of poison that an assassin could possibly give him? Who has taken the effort and the time to sew this extra layer of protection into his bones without even telling him they were doing it?
Oh Geralt you sneaky bastard. You do care.
748 notes · View notes
thatfreshi · 8 months
Text
Out of Love (Astarion x reader)
Tw - death, vomiting, assisted suicide, sickness
Recommended Song: Past Hound - Adam Melchor
A couple of moons ago, you came down with a horrific illness. You and Astarion both don't know why, or how. You suspect foul play. After all, you didn't always make friends on your journeys. You wonder if perhaps you were poisoned, someone slipped something into a drink at the bar, changing the course of your life forever. The first month was like a bad flu, high fever, vomiting almost every day, barely able to eat. Over time though, your body started to ache. Astarion knew it was getting bad when you fell in the kitchen, breaking one of his favorite glasses. At first he was enraged, so angry that you could be so careless with one of his prized posessions. Then, he turned the corner and saw you lying on the floor, and quickly reverted his previous sentiments.
You don't remember exactly how long it's been. About two months in, Astarion told Shadowheart and Halsin to come over, realizing this was not going to go away on its own. They, tried, everything. Shadowheart went into a frenzy, reading up on everything she could, trying spells she had never cast before. Halsin got ahold of every other druid he knew in the city, to no avail. Everyone was clueless. The only thing they could determine is that this illness was man-made.
"So some bastard did try to finally get me, huh?"
You smile a little at your own comment, wincing at the pain it brings you. Astarion glares, not at you, but at the idea that someone would do this to you.
"Not funny my sweet."
It's now been four months. Astarion has tried his best to keep up with all the care you need, but it has turned both of your lives to shambles. Eventually he invited all your old companions over, to stay for a while, as they wanted to help with your illness. Despite the fact that he could barely stay awake at times, he would watch over you for hours on end, sometimes twenty at a time, until someone like Lae'zel dragged him out of your room to go lie down.
Gale has cooked every meal for all of you since you've gotten worse. He tries his best to make things from your childhood, things you'd find comforting. Shadowheart and Halsin continue to research your sickness, finding nothing. Wyll, Karlach, and Lae'zel take turns with Astarion, keeping watch over you, tending to your every need. At this point, you can barely get up most days, either from pain or lack of energy. Despite this, you can't ever sleep. If you do manage to drift off, it's for thirty minutes or so, and then you're jolted awake by some pain.
One day though, you're awoken by Astarion and Halsin arguing.
"I'm telling you Astarion, there is nothing I can do. Tav is going to pass. I don't know how soon, but I would start getting things in order."
He tries to hold back tears, to be good with his bedside manner, but it's almost impossible when Astarion keeps yelling back at him, desperate.
"Tav is not going to die. It's not time yet, you have to do something!"
"Please, Astarion. I don't want to fight with you. I know this is hard to hear, but it's over. There's nothing more we can do. There is no cure."
He tenses, ready to spit some nasty sentence about how he must be some great druid if he can't even heal people, but he refrains, wiping at his eyes. He storms off to his study, as all of your friends watch it unfold.
"I knew he was going to react like that."
Gale says sadly, looking down at the floor.
"I'll go take watch, give him some time."
And with that, Karlach comes into your room. You pretend to be asleep.
After a few agonizing hours, it's evening. Karlach brought you some soup that you couldn't bring yourself to even try eating. As the sun sets, Astarion is in the doorway, a grim look in his eyes. Without saying anything, Karlach takes her leave, giving him an understanding nod that you don't see.
When your lover makes his way to the bed, he lies down next to you, locking eyes with your tired gaze. It's as if you've been beaten twelve times over, the bags under your eyes have gotten so dark.
"Hello my sweet."
He smiles softly, trying to hide the sorrow, trying to shelter you from the news Halsin gave him.
"Hello my love."
You smile back, a little bit of pain and pressure in your face at the attempt.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
You snuggle into his side, trying not to move too much. He meets you halfway.
"I'm just... I'm so tired."
"I know darling... I know."
"No, Astarion. I'm tired of this."
"As am I. Shadowheart and Halsin are working steady as always, they'll find something."
You shake your head, a movement he can feel against his chest.
"No. No I... I heard."
You're exhausted, the air barely leaving your lungs.
"Heard what my dear?"
He's not good at playing dumb, the crack in his voice giving it all away. He hadn't thought about the argument, that you would've heard the two of them yelling about how you're going to die.
"What Halsin... what he told you."
And the tears well in his eyes instantly. He thought he wouldn't have to tell you, that he could keep this sacred thing going, that he could hold you without you needing to know it could all go away so quickly. You hear him sniffle, clearly trying to hold back.
"We don't know it's true Tav, they could still find something. They could be wrong."
His throat is coated in desperation, every word stabbing through your brain, trying to find something in you that believes him, even if he doesn't believe himself.
"They've been at it for months my love. I think it's over."
He grips you a little tighter, wishing for your existence, trying to hold the wind back from the embers of a long-gone flame. You both stay silent for a minute, as you try to work up the courage to ask him something. Something you're not even sure he'll say yes to, but you try.
"I want you to feed on me."
He scoffs, almost angrily.
"No my dear, not while you're sick. You need everything you can get.."
You shake a little, perhaps from the never-ending fever, or maybe from the fear, or the pain.
"No. I mean I want you to feed on me until I'm gone."
He tenses, shocked by your request.
"You... you what?"
You start to tear up, which only brings more pain.
"I'm just so tired Aster, and I've fought for so long. I want it to be over. I'm ready for it to be over, please."
You can barely make it through the end of your sentence without choking up.
"I can't do that, I- I won't!"
He sits up to look at you.
"You can't give up, not like this. There's still time, we still have time."
You reach out for his hand, and he obliges. As you squeeze you fingers into the back of his hand, you ask him one of the hardest questions he's ever had to answer.
"What, so you can watch me continue to suffer?"
He hadn't thought of it, that if this was horrific, how much worse could it get? How long was soon? Even Halsin didn't know how much time, not even an estimate, just... soon. He doubles down.
"No! So that, that maybe you can get better! That we can find the bastard that did this and make him cough up the cure. Maybe we can-"
"Astarion!"
You hadn't yelled for weeks, mustering up everything in your body to overpower his pleading voice. The tears continue to fall down his face, and he leans over, bringing your hand to his face.
"I can't Tav. I can't kill you. You're asking me to destroy the only thing I've ever loved, I-"
The thought of it makes him feel like throwing up, the thought of doing something like that to you. Forever ago he tried feasting on your blood in the middle of the night, long before you fell in love. And when you woke up to a strange man, a monster trying to steal your life force, you were kind. You let him drink from you, and every time he needed to after that.
"I love you so much, and I know you love me so much deeper than I could ever imagine, and I am asking you to do one last thing for me, out of love. I don't want to die to some unknown disease that's been ravaging my body, to pass in my sleep without so much as a thought. I want to die with you, right here, while everyone sleeps, where we can be alone one last time."
It's hard to argue with you, but Astarion feels as though ending your life is hardly an act of love. Mortal lives are already so fleeting, and yet you are asking him to cut it even shorter, to let you go. He meets your eyes again.
"Can I at least go slow?"
"As slow as you'd like."
You weakly smile, and he realizes there is no more considering your offer. This is what you want, and only he can give it to you.
"Okay."
He leans down to kiss you, slowly making his way to your throat, hesitating at first.
"I love you more than you'll ever know."
No pet names, no antics, no fluff. It's the first time you think he's ever said something so serious about how in love with you he is.
"I love you too Astarion."
And it's rare that you ever call each other by your first names. He shivers a little, saying you love 'Astarion' and not 'your sweet' or 'your love.' With your declarations out of the way, he pierces your skin with his fangs, slower than usual. Feeding from you is almost always a rabid act, desperate, feral. He's reserved, savoring every moment, knowing this is it, the last time he'll taste your blood, the last time he'll hold you in his arms, the last time you'll lie in this bed together. When the cold subsides and the numbness takes over, you're at peace for the first time in a long time. All you feel is the slow lapping of your blood, and his grasp tight around you. It feels like forever to you, but moments for him. As the flowing river becomes smaller, the tiniest drops coming out of your neck, he feels your body start to go limp, your skin start to get cold. He fulfills your request despite how much he's hurting, and he drinks until there is nothing left, until you're gone.
A wail echoes through the house, waking up your companions as they rush to see what's happened. As Shadowheart is the first to reach the doorway, she sees Astarion clutching your body, sobbing hysterically. She gets up next to him, clamoring on, asking what happened. He can barely speak, and the rest watch in silence.
"Tav- I- I had to- they wanted me to-"
Guilt-ridden, terrified of what he's done despite you pleading with him minutes ago, Astarion can only stutter the same phrases over and over again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I- I didn't want to- please."
"Hey, it's okay. Astarion. Astarion?"
Shadowheart notices the blood all over his mouth and the sheets, and the two perfect pin pricks in your neck, realizing what he's done. Astarion looks up for a moment, still clutching your dead body in his hands. And then, he points at Halsin.
"YOU. You fool, Tav heard us, they heard what you said. They gave up because of you. I had to kill them because of you..."
He starts to sob again, losing the rage, overcome with a sorrow that is inexplainable. Halsin only stays silent, knowing these are words of grief and not truth.
"Get out."
Halsin starts to step aside, believing the comment to be about him. When no one else moves, Astarion's eyes dart across the room at everyone, almost manic.
"Get out, all of you. GET OUT."
"Astarion, you can't-"
Gale is cut off by what is such a guttural scream, he can hardly believe it came from the vampire.
"LEAVE."
He comes back to your body, sobbing into flesh that no longer feels.
"Just please leave me alone..."
Shadowheart quietly gets off the bed, ushering everyone out of the room, softly closing the door behind her. Astarion can barely hear the murmurs outside the bedroom door, as he begins muttering to your lifeless corpse.
"I'm so sorry my dear... I'm so sorry. I should've done more, I should've told you to stay, I-"
He can't find the words, relentlessly blaming himself for your choice, wondering if there was any way to get around this. His mind wanders to that first month, when you dropped his wine glass, how he yelled from the other room, how he scolded you for being careless with his things, and he realizes how stupid life is. Nothing matters, a wine glass doesn't matter, you matter. And you were the only thing that ever mattered.
Hours go by, and dusk turns to dawn. Eventually, Gale comes back to the door, knocking softly.
"I'm coming in."
He's met with Astarion still, lying with your body, the blood crusted on the sheets, and his bloodshot eyes. It's as if he barely moved.
"I think... I think it's time."
While Gale wishes that Astarion could stay by your side forever, he knows your corpse will start to change soon, to become worse and worse as the hours pass by. It takes him forever to pry your lover from your side, eventually leading him to the living room, where he lies on the sofa, curled up, as Halsin begins to prepare your body.
644 notes · View notes
mysouleaten · 1 month
Text
so embarrassing...
Tumblr media
baji x fem!reader
summary ... baji pointed out his crush to toman but told them not to look.. but they all looked anyway and now he's trying to speed walk away out of embarrassment
warnings ... fluff, toman embarrassing baji in front of his crush, cursing, reader is sort of clueless...
an... some sweet fluff <3 cuz that post gave me some motivation lol
Tumblr media
baji heard your laugh and his head turned toward the direction of the sweet sound
he didn't realize how his face relaxed and he showed a soft smile with his fangs poking out
but kazutora noticed baji's soft demeanor and how he slowed down his pace to look at something.. or someone?
kazutora came up to baji and swung his arm over baji's shoulder "what cha looking a baji? cute girls caught your eye?" kazutora giggled
"huh? nun ya business.." baji replies
"aw come on! I wont judge! is it the blondie or the one with the long hair?-" "..its none of them.. its the one with the [hair color] hair.."
"hmmm?.." kazutora humms and looks around to find the girl baji was talking about
"hey! what you two doing? we gotta go!" draken yells from behind them
kazutora waves them over "baji's looking at a cute girl!"
"hmm? is that so? how does she look like?" mikey and the rest stop behind kazutora and baji
"yeah baji point her out for us" mitsuya cheekily smiles
"ughh.. just don't look.... so obvious, k?" baji gruffed out, they all laughed and 'agreed'
baji pointed at the girl with [hair color] hair and a white backpack with cute animal charms
"oh WOW!" mikey exclaimed with a bright cheeky smile on his face and baji whipped his head around to face mikey with a heated glare ready to mouth off
but before he could cuss mikey out, he saw you looking over at his group with a confused look and then realized baji was with the said group and happily waved your hand with a bright smile on your pretty face..
baji's face heated up tremendously in embarrassment--from mikey's loud mouth-- and your happy smile
baji ducked his head down to hide his face and fastened his pace away from toman... 'bastards..'
toman continued to watch you--your head tilted to the side with confusion--as they started to walk to follow baji and tease him later on about the cute girl he had a crush on...
Tumblr media
i needed to reupload this because it wasn't showing up in the tags :((
373 notes · View notes