Tumgik
#cockblocking chronicles
ras3quin · 10 months
Text
Random thing-
Is anyone talking about the M confession scene? Like yo- you were this close 👌 to confessing to M and got interrupted.
All I got to say is that for Robyn, they died inside that day.
54 notes · View notes
paintinkwords99 · 3 months
Text
Okay Holiday Magic is the cutest thing ever! Watch me play this game a thousand times over just because I desperately want to spend more time with the vampires
11 notes · View notes
kazoo-the-demjin · 1 year
Text
just thinking about how nina is all quiet, contemplative and looks mildly disturbed ever since she saw alina use merzost like just saying it's very weird and concerning ehehehe
12 notes · View notes
gimmethatagustd · 2 years
Note
listen. oh queen of life-ruining banter. i come to you on my knees because i require frenemies hatefucking with tae. featuring all the banter. and him being a menace. no this is not self-indulgent at all wdym sdlfjsldkfj - congrats again on your milestone :')))
WANNA FUCK ON CAMERA | KTH
Tumblr media
You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s hipster, wannabe-photographer ass. You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s stupid smile and stupid jokes and stupid way of getting under your skin and sticking in your brain.  
» pairing: taehyung x reader
» genre: BTS | 18+ | frenemies to lovers | smut
» wc/date: 3.3k | July 2022
» warnings: fingering | nudes (ig??) | unprotected vaginal sex | spit | tae is annoying
» notes: I’M SO SORRY THIS ENDED UP JUST BEING A FULL FUCKING PWP ONE SHOT KJDKFHS also i def didn’t proofread this enough so sorry 🥴
» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅
» what was jai listening to? camera - dj drama ft. 1st fkl, lil uzi vert, mac miller, & post malone
Tumblr media
The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist
Tumblr media
If Kim Taehyung placed his grimy hands on the small of your back one more time you were quite literally going to rip them off. 
“Babe, we didn’t take a picture together yet.” Before you could react, there was a bright flash of light that formed black holes in your vision. A sleek film camera was the culprit. Not unfamiliar, you’d fallen victim to Taehyung’s “artistic endeavors” on more than one occasion. 
“Babe?” 
Your spotty eyes grew wide as you quickly turned back to the large man stuck in between you and Taehyung. You’d caged him into the corner of the living room away from the rest of the bustling bodies crowding the apartment you shared with Hoseok. From the moment your roommate introduced you to Namjoon at the start of the party, you were on a mission to get a good grip of his head in between your thighs. 
“No, no, no,” you shook your head, waving your arms in an “X” to ward off Taehyung’s evil. “We are not like that, at all. Gross, no. I don’t even know why he’s over here.” You hissed that last part with gritted teeth and shoved an elbow into Taehyung’s ribs. 
“We came to this party together, babe. What are you talking about?” Taehyung’s mouth morphed into a deep pout. Your’s, on the other hand, hung open like a fish. 
“Excuse me? This is my fucking apartment!”
You watched with growing frustration as Taehyung’s pout curved into a sweet smile. He was an abscess aching your teeth.  “Babe, you’re so cute when you joke around.” 
“Ummm… I think I’m going to go.” 
You both turned to look at the large man stuck in between you. He avoided both of your gazes; instead, his gentle eyes searched the depths of the room, looking for a way out. 
“Namjoon, wait,” You reached out to grab his forearm, “Just ignore him, he’s an idiot.” 
Namjoon gave you a soft, tight smile. “It’s okay, I don’t want to bother you.” He didn’t give you a second glance once he disappeared deeper into the apartment. 
You spun around on your heel and jabbed your finger against Taehyung’s chest. “Listen here, TaTa. If you don’t stop cockblocking me all fucking night, I swear to God.” 
“You swear to God what? What are you going to do?” Taehyung cocked his head to one side and you hated how hot it was to watch his bottom lip disappear between his teeth. He raised his eyebrows at you, tilting his head back a bit so he looked at you down the sharp bridge of his cute little freckled nose. 
He knew you wouldn’t do anything. There was nothing for you to do. 
He was such a piece of shit. 
“Why did Hobi invite you,” you muttered, pushing past Taehyung. You made very little ground before he was snatching your wrist in his large hands. “Can you please leave me alone? I’m not drunk enough for your shit right now.” 
“Let me get my beautiful model a drink, then.” 
“You are the most arrogant, conceited, cockiest person I have ever met in my entire life.” The grin that bloomed across his face was the exact opposite of what you wanted to see, but everything your body was being pulled towards. 
“Thank you.” 
With a huff, you shook your hand from Taehyung’s grip and continued swimming your way through the sea of people trashing your apartment. Leave it to Hobi to throw a massive party to celebrate “the beginning of his birthday month” without bothering to ask you. When he knew you hated most of his friends, Kim Taehyung in particular. How he’d managed to wiggle his way into your friend group was beyond you. Probably because he was hot, and hot people could get away with everything. 
Well, you didn’t think he was hot, obviously. Other people did. Not you. Nope. 
“Do not follow me.” You threw the command over your shoulder, praying to the lord that he would grow a brain and listen to you. Breaking free of the last throng of people, you walked the hallway until you got to your bedroom, Taehyung hot on your heels. You tried to slam your bedroom door shut but Taehyung had the toe of his boot wedged in the doorframe. He wrapped a hand around the edge of the door and pried it open just enough to slip his lithe body inside. The click of him locking the door made your spine shudder. 
“You’re so fucking stupid, Kim. Why don’t you go find someone to suck your dick and keep your nose out of my business? I’ll even let you use my bathroom.” Arms crossed against your chest. Chin jutted out. 
Taehyung snickered, keeping his focus on wiping away a smudge mark on the surface of his camera lens. “Bothering you gives me infinite more pleasure, believe it or not.” He looked up to meet your gaze. “And you know how much I love chasing pleasure.” 
By this point your anger was hardly well-contained. As you flipped through every scenario in your head you were finding fewer options to get him out of here. Murder may have been the only option, actually. 
“God I love how hot you look when you’re pissed.” Taehyung had the audacity to sit down on the edge of your bed, his long legs spreading like the space-hogging man that he was. 
“Take a fucking picture then. It’ll last longer.” 
“Ooh, you’re so clever, so edgy.” Despite his taunts, he did what you said, quickly snapping another picture of you. You flipped him off. “Glad you’ve finally agreed to model for me. How do you feel about nudes?” 
“Get the fuck out of here.” 
“Not even just a topless one?” 
“I would never, in a million years, even if my life depended on it, get any amount of naked in front of you.” 
“That sounds like a fun challenge, doesn’t it?” He got up from your bed, leaving the camera to rest on your fluffy comforter. His amber eyes dropped to watch your lips, the edges of his own lips curling slightly when you backed up against your dresser. A bottle of hair product tipped over and rolled off the dresser, thudding against the floor. 
“It’s not a challenge, Taehyung. It’s merely a fact.” 
“Look at what you’re wearing. You’re already halfway there.” Taehyung shrugged. He ran his index finger along the skin of your midriff exposed by your crop top. Reaching your belly button, he dragged his finger downwards until he landed on the zipper of your shorts. “Don’t act like you’re not desperate. The way you were hanging all over that guy said enough.” 
“Fuck off,” you said in an exhale. You made no effort to push him out of the way; this was one of many mistakes. 
“Hmm…” You practically felt the baritone vibration of Taehyung contemplating your comment, the hum rumbling from his throat. “Okay.” He took a step back and sunk onto your bed with his camera resting beside him. 
“What do you mean, okay?” You closed the gap he’d created and stared down at him with your hands on your hips. “You can��t just say okay.” 
The tiniest of smirks lifted the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, but he held it in as best he could. Controlling his eyes was another thing; he let his gaze travel the length of your body. “Am I not giving you what you wanted?” 
“Well, yes.” 
“Then what’s the problem?” 
You opened your mouth, but immediately snapped it shut. Taehyung leaned back on his palms with his broad chest on display and his legs spread. How had you ended up standing between them? He tilted his head up slightly jutting his chin out at you while his eyes continued to examine you. Dissect you. His gaze felt razor sharp on your searing skin. 
“Just admit it. You want me. It’s obvious how I affect you.” You felt your stomach flip as Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair, though a few curls decided to bounce back over his forehead. “One simple kiss and you’d be begging for me.” 
You absolutely did not want him. Had you thought about what those piercing eyes would look like from between your thighs? Maybe. But who hadn’t?! It was a natural consequence of being “friends” with Taehyung.
“You’re an idiot.” Another glare was shot his way when the stupid smirk returned. 
“Prove it then. Prove you don’t care.” 
If there was anything you hated more than this idiot, it was being doubted. Fuck this guy for wasting your time, invading your space, and then insulting you in your own house. 
“If you tell anyone about this I’ll cut your balls off,” you hissed. 
“I’m so scared,” Taehyung said with a lick of his lips. You wanted to smack that mischievous glint out of his eyes. Hell, you should have. But instead you were determined to knock him off his high horse. If you weren’t going to get into a physical altercation, you were going to fuck up his ego. 
Shoving Taehyung backwards so he was once again leaning on his palms, you climbed into his lap with your hands gripping his shoulders. Before he could say anything else stupid, you brought your lips to his and tried not think about how many things had been in his mouth. 
It was clear that Taehyung was trying to prove a point because he immediately began to devour you. His hands flew up to grip your ass to pull you tight against him, making your hands slide forward so you now had your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Biting down on your bottom lip he coaxed your mouth open to slip his tongue inside. You shivered at the taste of him, sweet like the grapefruit soju he’d been drinking. Distracted by him licking at your mouth, you gasped when you felt Taehyung buck into you. He forced your hips to rock against him and spread your thighs even further apart as you straddled him. 
Eventually Taehyung broke the kiss and you welcomed the opportunity to breathe. His lips ghosted yours, the two of you panting heavily against each other’s mouths. He kept a firm hold of your ass while he guided you to continue grinding against the growing bulge in his jeans. Every drag of his zipper against your core provided enough friction to alert you that you were soaked through your underwear. All because of a guy you’d swore you weren’t affected by. 
The reminder of why this was even fucking happening made you let go of Taehyung’s shoulders and lean back slightly. What the fuck. 
“You did that way too eagerly,” he snickered once you pulled away.
“Shut up.” You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair to tug it out of annoyance because apparently Taehyung tore down your maturity level to that of an elementary student. The moan that came out of his mouth made you freeze. He stared into your eyes with his soft lips parted and all you could hear was his erratic breathing and the pounding of your heart in your head. “Looks like you’re affected by me.”
As if you weren’t an absolute mess in your pants right now. But he didn’t need to know that. 
“I never said I wasn’t.” The intensity of his gaze was too much for you, but looking away felt like surrendering. “Are you going to admit defeat now?” 
“You’re insane,” you scoffed, determined to hold his gaze. 
Taehyung broke first. He let go of your waist and brought his hand forward to press his thumb hard against your clit through your shorts. You instinctively tightened your hold on his hair, tugging slightly. The action pulled another moan out of Taehyung and it was impossible for you to hide the way you grinded against his hand. 
“You want me. Just admit it.” 
“No,” you snapped. Taehyung raised his eyebrows as though he was shocked by your determination. You were not giving in, no matter what your body wanted. 
Even if he pulled down the zipper of your shorts. Even if he tugged on the waistband of your underwear. Even if he squeezed his hand inside your underwear to drag his fingers through your arousal. 
“Admit it.” 
Your breath hitched when you heard the wet squelch of Taehyung teasing your entrance and rolling his fingers against your clit. You couldn’t speak for fear a moan instead of words might fall out of your mouth, so you merely shook your head. 
Wrapping his other arm around your waist, Taehyung bucked into you at the same time he slipped two fingers inside of you. The force with which you bit your bottom lip to keep quiet was enough to shoot pain through your nerves. Seeing you like that and feeling your thighs tremble against his told Taehyung everything he needed to know. 
But he wanted you to say it. 
“Come on, Y/N,” he cooed a soft whisper in your ear. He curled his fingers, pressing your front wall until he found the spot that made you dig your nails into his biceps. “Just admit it and I’ll give you what you want.” 
He quickened his pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you with enough force to rock you back and forth in his lap, all the while his dark eyes locked on yours. 
“You’re a piece of shit,” you attempted to hiss but your voice broke into a loud whimper. Taehyung grinned and gave you one final thrust into your g-spot before he watched you arch into him, eyes closed and head thrown back as you moaned his name. He leaned back slightly to give him the perfect angle to snatch up his camera. You thought the bright light was probably the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt in your life quite literally making you blind, but your pleasure quickly turned into a pterodactyl screech. 
“KIM TAEHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK!” You lunged for the camera, but he held it above your head and your legs were still too shaky to do much of anything. “Did you just fucking take a picture of me while I… while I…” You beat against his chest. 
“You looked too good not to immortalize the moment,” Satan himself said with a laugh, absorbing your punches with the cockiness of the most horrible person in the world. “If you want to try for a better shot, I still have five photos left on this film.” 
“I’m going to fucking murder you.” 
“Sure, you can murder me. I’ll die happy now.” You felt weak in the knees once again when Taehyung popped his fingers, wet with your cum, into his mouth to suck clean. “Or you could admit that you want me and I’ll split you open the way you deserve.” 
Fuck. 
You were in big trouble. 
Taehyung’s cocky grin disappeared as you eased back down into his lap, replaced with a look of determined lust that clouded his lidded eyes. At this point, it wasn’t about admitting that he turned you on or that you wanted him. At this point, you needed him. 
“Say it and I’m yours,” he whispered. Goosebumps bloomed across your skin as he ran his hands up your sides, pushing your crop top up as he went. You lifted your arms to allow him to pull it off of you. He sucked his teeth when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra and immediately brought his mouth to your nipple. You let out a soft moan when Taehyung flicked his tongue against it, swirling a circle until it was erect and he was satisfied enough to move to the other. 
“Fuck you, Taehyung.” You clawed at his t-shirt, less gentle in your approach as you ripped it over his head. Next your fingers flew to unbutton his jeans. “I admit it, okay? Are you happy now?” Frustration made your movements frantic and you tugged Taehyung’s pants down as hard as you could, barely giving him time to maneuver around you to lift his hips. 
“Admit what?” He planted a hot kiss against your throat to muffle the deep moan that rumbled in his throat when you finally held his cock in your hand. 
“I need you, fuck!” You shimmied out of your shorts and shoved Taehyung onto his back. “Why are you such a fucking dick?” 
You grabbed his cock a bit too aggressively and Taehyung briefly watched his life flash before his eyes. Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. Though he quickly got over it, hips bucking into your hand while he watched you spit on the tip and let it run down his shaft, slow and sweet. 
“Took you long enou-” Taehyung gasped when you rubbed his cock along your pussy, quickly coating him so you could sink onto his cock until your clit rubbed against his abdomen when you leaned forward. The stretch was enough that you probably should have eased yourself onto him a bit slower to avoid the head of his cock piercing your cervix the way it had, but at this point you were too pissed off to give a shit. He lifted his head to watch you roll your hips on him, the twisting sensation making his cock pulse inside you. 
“Holy fuck.” Taehyung dropped his head back onto the mattress and dug his fingers into the sheets as you began to fuck yourself on him. Sure, he’d promised to fuck you good, but you had absolutely no patience for whatever he was willing to give you. You picked up the pace, one hand squeezing his shoulder for support while the other dragged your nails down the length of his chest. You may have dug into him a bit deeper than you needed to, but the red streaks you left on his skin were more than satisfying. 
“Don’t even think about taking a picture of this,” you muttered through clenched teeth. That sweet, hot buildup of pleasure rippling through your abdomen was starting to get more and more unbearable, but you needed to know that the little creep wasn’t going to ruin a good orgasm for you by playing paparazzi again. 
Taehyung whimpered, shaking his head frantically. “I swear, oh fuck. I s-swear I won’t.” 
His babbling was both pathetic and cute, and you prayed he didn’t bust a nut before you got to. To have Kim Taehyung writhing beneath you with that tight little waist and bulging biceps, all to have him cum first?? No fucking way. 
“Good boy,” you snickered and Taehyung practically lost it right there. 
“You’re insane,” he huffed, closing his eyes once he felt you tighten around him. “Fucking insane.” 
You wanted to bitch him out some more because you definitely weren’t the insane one here, as if he hadn’t toyed with you only to immediately give in once you gave him a taste of his own medicine. But you let it go as you felt that sweet buildup in you finally snap. “Fuck, Taehyung,” you moaned, feeling his hands come up to grab your waist to guide you on top of him as he fucked you through your orgasm and your movements began to falter. Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to finally reach his release; you weren’t interested in overstimulation after the sweaty, horny mess he’d made of you. 
Leaning your forehead into his shoulder, you let your body go limp on top of Taehyung as the two of you caught your breath. 
“Don’t fuck with me anymore,” you threatened, though the post-orgasm shakiness of your voice didn’t make you sound very convincing. 
“I can fuck you again, though, right?” 
You lifted your head to see that fucking grin again and groaned, dropping your face into his neck again. “Maybe.” 
“Are you down for nudes next time?” 
“Don’t fucking push your luck, dickhead.” Your body jiggled as Taehyung laughed. There was the cocky Taehyung once again, the one you oh so loved. Something told you if there was a next time you wouldn’t have it so easy. 
Tumblr media
The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist
Tumblr media
all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & ao3
do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work
2K notes · View notes
raccoon-eyed-rebel · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
Check
Tumblr media
Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Tumblr media
Pairing: barista!Mike (Hellraiser) x reader (you)
Summary: Mike's friends show up to invite you to a party - they have horrible timing.
Word count: 2.1k
Warnings: Fluff. More fluff. Then some more fluff. Shenanigans. Cats. Mention of animal abuse. Mention of a strange situation involving someone's bro kissing his bro's mom. Yep.
A/N: Hello, and a very warm welcome to the next installment of the Cockblocking Chronicles! In this episode we have... no sex! Unsurprisingly. Also we have some... cockblocking. And a lovely little guest appearance of some of our favorites - and maybe some less favorites - and THE TURTLES!
If you like this fic, please let me know 🥰 and reblog so that others may see it too! <3
Tumblr media
@deandoesthingstome @ellethespaceunicorn @sillyrabbit81 @peyton-warren @summersong69 @mayloma @livisss @geralts-yenn @ylva-syverson
Tumblr media
“Hey, Mikey! Is this the new girl?” You shriek at the sound of the unfamiliar voice and scramble to get under the covers without flashing whoever is behind you.
“I hope so, otherwise he’s got some explaining to do! Hey, when were you going to introduce us?” someone else says.
“We’ll let you two get dressed. Boys, coffee?” The three guys laugh and leave the room.
“Sy, Will and Evan. In that order. Not that it matters now, because I’m going to kill them...” Mike snarls through gritted teeth. He lets his head hang on your shoulder, relaxing a little now that he knows his friends are really gone.
“We can’t catch a break, can we?” Your voice finally – after all those weeks – betrays you, and Mike’s grin lets you know that he heard. So now he knows; you want him just as bad as he wants you.
“Apparently not...”
“You’re all dead to me,” Mike says as he walks into the kitchen, dragging you along behind him.
“Does he sound frustrated to you?” Will asks the others, who laugh. “He sounds frustrated to me…”
“I am frustrated, for fuck’s sake! I’ve been trying to nail her for weeks!” The kitchen goes quiet, and the guys just stare at Mike – except for Sy, who actually facepalms. “Probably shouldn’t have phrased it that way...”
“Ya think?!” you say as you smack Mike in the back of the head as hard as you can. But even you have to admit... “He’s not exactly wrong, though.”
The guys look at you as if you just told them the earth is flat – even Mike.
“Listen, this guy has been striking out since the very first date,” you continue, laughing when you see Mike’s face morph into a pout. “First it was cats, a week later parents, then he got grounded for three weeks, then it was a cop, now you guys… Cut him some slack.”
“Cop?” Evan asks, unable to hide his laughter.
“Yep. Got busted fooling around in the Camry,” Mike sighs. It’s no use lying, these guys know him well enough by now.
“Don’t you fuckin’ da-argh!” Sy interrupts your conversation with his exclamation of terror. When you look around, you see him sitting at the kitchen table, with Big Sy in his lap, who is purring contently.
“That’s hardly the massacre I was promised, Mike,” you joke as you watch the rather peaceful scene in front of you. The boys laugh at your words.
“Well, I ain’t gonna volunteer to show ya,” Sy says. The drawl in his voice is subtle but present. He’s not from around here, though you couldn’t put your finger on what part of the south he’d be from, exactly. “Someone hand me my coffee.”
You watch as Evan hands him the cup sort of carefully, never taking his eyes off Big Sy, who gives him a death glare from Real Sy’s lap.
“Mikey’s is the meanest,” Will clarifies without you ever asking. “He will swipe at just about anyone – except Mike – when he gets the idea we’re even so much as thinking about touching him. He’s completely okay with it when Sy’s not here, though.”
“Ours will let us take them off his lap, at least,” Evan adds as he bends down to pick up Nova. “Hello little attention seeker.”
“Forgive my frustration,” Mike chuckles, “but what are you fuckers even doing here?”
“Michael, language!” you hear right before the front door closes. Not long after, his mom walks into the kitchen holding heavy-looking bags of groceries.
“Ma’am, let me help you with… Motherf-!” Sy’s attempt to get up to help Mikey’s mom doesn’t go over well with Big Sy, who apparently digs all of his pointy little nails into Sy’s thighs before finally jumping off his lap.
“That’s what you get for still calling me ‘ma’am’ after all this time, Sy,” Mike’s mom laughs. “Are you okay?”
“Yes ma’am,” Sy answers with a grin as he takes one of the bags from her. The boys seem to feel perfectly at home here, because when they help Mike and his mom put the groceries away, they don’t even have to ask where things go – you, on the other hand, are standing around, feeling particularly useless.
“Sweetcheeks,” Mike suddenly says – much to the amusement of his friends, “can you grab Nova?” The furry projectile is trying to make her way into the fridge, which anyone would know to be a terrible place for a cat, only she doesn’t seem convinced of that at all.
“Come here, single brain cell, I’ll give you all the cuddles you so crave,” you coo as you pull her off the shelf she’s managed to crawl onto.
“Even if you didn’t have to work, eat, sleep, pee or breathe for a single second of your life, that would still be impossible,” Will says as he gently nudges Nyx out of the way with his foot. Soon, all the cats come running to the kitchen, gathering around Evan’s feet – even the ones that were nowhere near the kitchen to begin with.
“Let me guess,” you say as you watch Nyx and Larry trying to get into the cupboard Evan just opened, “that’s where their food comes from?”
One look into the cabinet proves you’re right, but Mike confirms it nonetheless: “Part of it. Just the canned food, wet food, dried fish, some kibble. The rest is either in the fridge or the freezer. I swear these cats eat better than I do – Tiger what the fuck?” He looks down at the cat that’s currently climbing his jeans.
“Mike!” The guys – and you – laugh when his mom smacks him in the back of his head. “Language!”
“Why are you always getting me in trouble? You’re not even mine!” he says as he grabs Tiger, who immediately jumps out of his arms.
“Wait, some of them are yours?” you ask, still cuddling Nova.
“Yeah,” Mike answers with a nod to Nova, “that one, Big Sy and Nyx are mine. The dorm allowed pets, but I didn’t take them with me. It was way too small. I was here every other day to check on them, though. Drove my mom nuts.”
“And now he lives here again,” she sighs as she makes herself a cup of coffee. “Let me interrupt this lovely conversation by asking you three–“ She gestures at Will, Evan and Sy “- why you are in my kitchen.”
“We stopped by to ask if Mike was joining us tonight at the lake, we’re staying in Will’s dad’s house – your girl is invited, by the way – and these two wanted to see how the kittens were doing,” Sy answers, nodding to Will and Evan at the kitten part.
“And you don’t want to know how the turtles are doing?” Mike’s mom replies in a way that’s somehow suggestive of something you can’t put your finger on.
“I came here to help you with the groceries,” Sy answers with a wink. From the corner of your eye, you see Mike gritting his teeth.
“Turtles are upstairs, if you three would come with me,” he says, ignoring you completely for a moment. “Oh, shit. Eh. I meant four, sorry Sweetcheeks.” Always nice to know where you stand.
As soon as Mike closes the door to his bedroom, he’s at Sy’s throat. “You need to stop flirting with my mom, because one of these days I’m gonna fucking punch your lights out, okay?”
“Alright, ease up, Mike,” Sy says, grabbing Mike’s arm and twisting it, forcing him to turn away. He’s on the ground in no time. “First off, I would love to see you try. Second; you know we only do it because it riles you the fuck up, right?”
“Let me go, you dick,” Mike grunts, turning back around as soon as Sy takes his hands off him. “Promise me you told me everything.”
“I swear to god, nothing more happened than what we told you.” The promise sounds oddly solemn for… yeah, for what? You look at Will and Evan, who both shake their heads, then at Sy and Mike, who look at each other.
“He kissed my mom once,” Mike says with the single most disingenuous grin you’ve ever seen.  
“She kissed me,” Sy corrects him, with a hint of smugness on his face that Mike – luckily, probably – doesn’t notice. Inside your brain, it’s chaos. You’d absolutely pay to hear the whole story behind this, because how can it be anything but good. Do you blame Sy? Maybe not? He’s young and stupid, and Mike’s mom is a pretty attractive woman. But still… Kissing your friend’s mom?
The boys don’t seem prepared to tell you more about it now – Mike goes so far as telling you that he might tell you some other time, which also suggests he might never tell you at all, even after you insist you can’t drop a bomb like this on someone and then not tell them the whole story. Unfortunately, Mike – the fucking bastard – uses a distraction technique on you that’s absolutely foolproof: letting the turtles out of their pen.
Four weeks ago, the babies were unruly balls of floof, slowly waddling around on shaky little legs. Now, they’re fast. And absolutely no quieter than they were before, especially once the scratches on the outside of the bedroom door start.
You’d noticed it before; that door was in desperate need of replacement. Now, you understand why said door isn’t going to be replaced until the cats have actually scratched a hole all the way through it: because it would be pointless.
“It’s the second door,” Evan says as he sees you looking. At the same time, Mike pulls the door open and Big Sy, Nyx, Nova and Momo stroll in. Sy immediately finds Sy and begins walking in impatient circles around his ankles.
“They really want you to sit down so they can terrorize you, don’t they?” you ask him.
“Yep,” he says, “except when Mikey was still with his ex. He wouldn’t show up in any room where she was, so I was safe most of the time.” You don’t know why, but you shiver the moment Sy mentions Mike’s ex. Of course you knew you were hardly his first girlfriend, but you don’t like the reminder that there was someone before you. That said, the fact that one of his cats completely avoided her didn’t seem like a good sign.
Mike’s mom interrupts again, carrying a large plate of snacks into the room. “Please, stop talking about her, she was awful.”
You don’t even get the chance to ask if it was really that bad, because Mike looks at you with some form of guilt in his eyes. “Remember the – and I quote – horrible troll from the movies?” He sighs when you nod. “That was her. I was too blind to see it. And by that I mean – and I hate to have to admit it – she has massive tits and they made me fucking stupid. Never understood why Big Sy hated her that much. He’s not cuddly per se, but he’s alright around people. Well, a few months into dating her, I caught her when she kicked him off my bed. And I mean kicked.”
Without thinking – and with a look of sheer terror on your face – you reach out a hand to Big Sy, who’s contently purring in Sy’s lap. For a while, the red giant rubs his head against your hand, before getting up and walking over to you, lying down in your lap, begging for more attention. “Oh, God, sweet thing, who could ever kick you?” you say as you pet his head, and he even lets you give him belly rubs. It takes you a minute to realize the room has gone suspiciously quiet.
Mike – currently trying to keep three of the turtles from crawling on his head, while little Mikey has taken residence in the front pocket of his hoodie – looks at you completely stumped, as does (human) Sy. “He doesn’t do that,” Mike says as he points at the sprawled-out heap of red fur in your lap. “Ever.”
“I think this one passes the test, boys,” Sy laughs, finally breaking the strange tension in the room.
“With flying colors,” Mike says with a massive grin on his face.
31 notes · View notes
psychopomparia · 15 days
Text
society (genshin) doesn't want me to get albedo.
his rerun of 2022, i lost to mona (my first limited banner i pull)
chronicle fates mondstadt path for albedo, i lose to eula.
why...does he never want to come home...? why do mondstadt women cockblock me of albedo??
2 notes · View notes
messybstream · 1 year
Text
Chronicles of a Shitty Dungeon Master Pt. 1: Removing Player Agency
Got a new post where I describe how shitty of a #dungeonmaster I once was! Going to be part of a series~ Do y'all have a story of when you were cockblocked by a dm? Kills the vibe at the #tabletop.
Being a dungeon master is hard, y’all. You have to craft an interesting narrative (that, at any time, can be derailed by your players’ whims,) balance encounters, and spend hours crafting the best possible map. Of course, using a premade adventure path alleviates this quite a bit. There still needs to be a balance between player agency and interesting challenges that make it an exciting game. Of…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
1 note · View note
animeomegas · 2 years
Note
Hi dear, how are you? Hope you're having a good day/ night.
I don't know if you already have this in your new WIP or not but it was in the old one.
Do you mind reconsidering writing something for adopted brother Naruto, and cock block Sasuke. Where Naruto is actually really happy his older sibling is getting married and having kids when Sasuke is planning murder? You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but you said it's OK to resend something and I really hope you don't mind .
Anyway, have a good last month of 2021 and a good life, all the love.
(Hello, my lovely, I'm having a great day today actually! And I'd love to write this! Please enjoy and also, I hope you have a great December too 💓)
So, let's set the scene first.
So, you sibling-adopted Naruto when he was about six years old after you witnessed him, obviously starving, get kicked out of a supermarket.
And Naruto adores you more than anyone else in the whole world and he wants you to be happy.
He was a bit nervous when you started courting Itachi, because what if you replaced him?! But Itachi was so kind to him, and you promised that he was your number one priority always, and Naruto started to get excited for you.
Does this mean Naruto will have a brother-in-law? Nieces and nephews? A proper, big family???
He wants that so badly.
He tells you quite seriously that he would rather you focus on him while he's a genin, but once he starts going on dangerous and important missions as a chunin, you should start having pups because Naruto wants lots of nieces and nephews, believe it!
And no, he doesn't quite understand what he’s asking.
Itachi finds it cute.
The only downside for Naruto is that he'd be sorta kinda related to Sasuke teme if you and Itachi got married!
And Sasuke teme keeps trying to ruin everything on purpose!!
So yeah, Naruto and Sasuke are not on the same page at all.
I can just imagine them together at the Uchiha residence accompanying both of their siblings, and Naruto is laying on the floor, kicking his legs back and forth as he designs different wedding cakes for his big sibling because he wants to help with the wedding preparations! Meanwhile Sasuke is standing behind him on the phone with the police like 'I'd like to report someone trying to steal my brother's innocence, send help fast'.
Ironically enough, they are both amazing cockblocks.
Sasuke does it on purpose, but Naruto does it by mistake. Because he wants to go on the fun day trip too!! You're going to a hotel? That sounds fun!!
And while you and Itachi are more than happy to pick Sasuke up by the scruff of his neck like a misbehaving kitten and toss him out of the room, you both can't get angry when Naruto barges in because he just wants to show you his newest exam grade that you and Itachi helped him study for. He wants you to be proud of him and that earnest behaviour is just impossible to combat 😔
When Naruto and Sasuke get put on the same genin team, they always bring the sibling drama into the team.
Lowkey Sakura and Kakashi are invested though.
Sakura thinks the whole thing is romantic.
Kakashi thinks the whole thing is hilarious.
Shisui and Naruto get on like a house on fire and Naruto is able to persuade Shisui to stop helping Sasuke cockblock.
You and Itachi often bribe Naruto to get Sasuke out of the house lol.
Also, Naruto and Sasuke learn about sex ed at the same time.
Sasuke is horrified and throws a fuss about the disgusting things you're trying to do to his brother, embarrassing everyone in the nearby vicinity.
Naruto thinks the whole thing is a bit weird and he doesn't really want anything to do with it, but if that's what's going to give him a big family then he encourages his sibling completely.
When Itachi announces that he's pregnant... the reactions are mixed.
Naruto asks straight away if he can feel Itachi's tummy, even if he's not showing yet, and starts talking to his little nibling and telling them about how he's going to be hokage, believe it!
Sasuke looks very ill at first, and then he turns his attention to Itachi's alpha with murder in his eyes.
And as Itachi is busy answering Naruto's million questions (What's their name? Is it a boy or a girl? What's their secondary gender? Can I babysit them sometimes?) you have to deal with Sasuke on your own.
And believe me, Sasuke is out for blood.
He knows what parts you have to lose to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
When the baby is out and Itachi is somewhat stable after the birth, Sasuke and Naruto are allowed to come in and visit.
You have to intercept Naruto and calm him down for a bit first, because he's practically vibrating on the spot he's so excited.
But when he's calmed down, he very gently strokes his thumb over the pup's little chubby cheeks, completely amazed. He will cry if the pup grabs a hold of one of his fingers.
And then he immediately ruins the moment by asking Itachi how on earth the pup managed to fit out of him. Itachi just laughs, still completely exhausted, and says that it wasn't easy. Naruto's eyes just track from the pup, to Itachi's stomach, to Itachi's crotch area, eyes squinted like he's trying to solve a puzzle lol.
Sasuke feels a bit uncomfortable when he meets his nibling for the first time. They're so... small. And delicate. He forgets for a moment how this all came to be, focusing on the pup. Itachi doesn't let either of them hold the pup for a couple of months, but he does encourage Sasuke to hold the pup's hand, which Sasuke does.
It was one of the first times you'd seen Sasuke and Naruto in the same room, focused on the same thing, without any sort of fighting or banter.
And about five years down the road, Naruto and Sasuke make the most hilariously chaotic babysitting duo.
"You're so beautiful," you whispered, gently tugging Itachi's hair free from his hairband, letting the strands fall loose around his face. "I know I've been working a lot recently, so let me make it up to you."
You joined your lips together, hands already sliding up Itachi's shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin under your hands. Itachi's breath caught audibly in his throat.
"Keep going," Itachi murmured, tugging your hands further down and encouraging you to slip them into his waistband.
Suddenly, your bedroom door swung open with a bang, making both you and Itachi flinch and jump away from each other immediately. 
You could see the silhouette of Naruto standing in the door, Sasuke awkwardly trailing behind him. Naruto called your name in a broken voice, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. All arousal was immediately killed and you opened your arms up, allowing Naruto to run into your embrace. 
“Oh dear, what’s wrong?” you asked, stroking Naruto’s hair. 
“I had a nightmare that you said you didn’t want me anymore,” Naruto sniffled pitifully. He nuzzled his face aggressively into your neck. 
“I’ll always want you, Naruto,” you promised, already moving him so that he was underneath the covers with you. “I love you more than anything else in this world. Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
Naruto nodded and snuggled down. You looked back at Itachi and mouthed ‘sorry’ but Itachi waved it off. Naruto was upset. He should be your priority right now. Itachi’s priority was his brother, who was currently grinning in the dim bedroom light. Itachi narrowed his eyes. 
“And what are you doing here, Sasuke?” 
Sasuke blinked and smiled. 
“I also had a nightmare, can I sleep in here too?”
Itachi didn’t buy it for even a second. But he also didn’t want his brother to turn his frustrations onto Naruto if he thought they were being treated differently. Nothing was going to happen tonight anyway. Itachi sighed and wordlessly lifted up the blanket, Sasuke immediately scooting in and making himself comfortable. 
The bed was cramped. Two adults and two 11 year-olds was more than the bed was designed to house... Oh well, it would be fine for one night. 
514 notes · View notes
blackandwhitemotley · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
51 notes · View notes
Text
Let 👏 The 👏 Detective 👏 Say 👏 Fuck 👏
27 notes · View notes
fillianore-moved · 4 years
Text
cannot believe i left mason’s route for last because i thought it would be the least interesting romance but now here i am in absolute shambles!!
15 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
464 notes · View notes
blckthrns · 5 years
Text
sebastian in cols is the biggest cockblocker
18 notes · View notes
ceasestofunction · 6 years
Text
So... is shipping Amberle and Eretria going to be just as angsty/queerbaity as shipping Supercorp?
94 notes · View notes
itoshit · 3 years
Note
Now sat between Mikey and you I was rigid. My cock was still painfully hard and unfortunately I couldn't even take care of it.
At that moment I hated Mikey so much. I was finally able to decipher my complicated feelings and was even ready to face and confront them. What was he even doing here in the first place?
'Hey Ken-chin, why is your hair undone though??'
Silence between us, I bit my lip.
'Vee... she wanted to see how much my hair has grown'
'Aah, and that's alo why you have a big scratch on the neck? Fuck Vee be careful next time with your nails or you'll rip Ken-chin head off his body!'
Touching the tender skin I noticed some sensitivity indeed.
Probably when I was between your legs.
The problem was that as soon as I had the reflexion in mind, lewd images came up too. Scenarios playing inside my head I had to focuse again and quickly.
But now that I knew how your moans sounded, how your body squirmed under my touch and how good you tasted, it was hard.
'I, I have to go the toilets real quick, coming back'
Fuck I needed to cum.
Head resting on the bathroom's wooden door, I unzipped my pants and stroke my cock fast, brushing my reddening tip with my thumb.
'Sbeen a long time since I found myself that hard.
Biting my lip at the image of your body I kept my voice low, grunting in my arm.
'Fuck Vee baby nghh'
Pumping my cock quicker than before I imagined your small hand instead.
You were so small compared to me. I wanted to destroy you.
What would it feel to have your mouth around my dick too? I was going insane and finally, finally, I came.
Biting the flesh of my arm to prevent my moan to be too loud, I washed my hands in the sink and put my pants back.
-Draken
He wanted that pussy😠
in my bathroom? had he no SHAME?!!
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when Mikey believed Ken’s lie so easily. I felt a little bad, wincing at the marks on his neck— marks I left. It was bad enough that he had cheated on Emma with me, but I had gone and left traces of it, practically bragging about it in a big Fuck you! to Emma.
The movie goes by in a blur. I can’t focus on it because I keep thinking about what just happened, and Ken looks just as lost as I probably did whenever I chanced a look at him. Mikey was the only one interested in its plot, wolfing down the takoyaki and dorayaki he brought. The ones we were supposed to share.
When Ken gets up abruptly in the middle of the movie to use the bathroom, I immediately notice why, eyes instantly locking onto his straining erection. Looking away fast, I ignore the heat burning through me. I felt worse now. He cheated and he didn’t even get the full benefit of it.
He came out just as the final scene concluded, white credits rolling onto the black screen. Mikey stands up and stretches, yawning whilst his bones popped.
I guess I should head out now, he says.
Sure you don’t wanna stay over? I ask because it was pretty late. A little over 1 in the morning.
Nah, I don’t wanna worry Gramps and Emma. What about you, Ken-chin? You leaving too?
The question’s a good one. Awaiting Ken’s answer I turn my head to him. Usually, when we stayed at the other’s house too late we just decided to crash there, holding a spontaneous sleepover in the process. But now I don’t think I could trust us being in the same room without jumping the other’s bones.
If I answered for him, said no, it would reveal something’s up, especially after we all just sat through an entire movie together (most of it, in Ken’s case).
The choice was up to Ken. I just didn’t know which one he’d make.
0 notes
etuwubrutus · 2 years
Text
choosing the mason/morgan route in the wayhaven chronicles is subjecting yourself to constant cockblocking for two entire books
12 notes · View notes