Reminders this Sexual Assault Awareness Month that your assault(s) are valid even if:
Your loved ones don’t believe you
Your assaulter was your lover/partner
You “didn’t fight back”
You were intoxicated
You originally consented
You had consensual sex with them in the past
You waited to speak out
You’ve never spoken out
You didn’t realize it was assault until later in life
You didn’t speak out until later in life
You didn’t go to police
You still haven’t told anyone
You were a child
You were a teenager
You were an adult
You both were children
You were wearing “provocative” clothes
You flirted with them
You pretended to like it
Penetration wasn’t involved
You “gave up” on fighting
You’re scared to tell someone
You can’t talk about it
You can talk about it, but don’t want to
The police didn’t believe you
Your “friends” didn’t/don’t believe you
You still had consensual sex with them after it happened
You never developed any mental illness/trauma-related symptoms from it
The person(s) stopped
The person(s) apologized
You thought it was consensual at the time
No one else was assaulted by them
You initiated the encounter
You orgasmed
You showed signs of arousal
You never were given an apology
Your assaulter refuses to say it was assault
Your assaulter was a family member
Your assaulter was a friend
You feel like it was your fault
You feel like you could’ve stopped it
You’re a girl
You’re a boy
You’re trans
You’re nonbinary, gender-fluid, etc.
You were bigger than them
You were stronger than them
If it was “only” once
If it happened multiple times
If you didn’t act on a bad feeling before the assault happened
If you could have escaped
If speaking out will “ruin their life”
If “it was just a mistake”
If you were warned
If it was an affair
If they were never punished
If they were punished, but it doesn’t feel like enough
There is no right or wrong way to be assaulted. There is no real or fake way to be assaulted. There is no type of assault that “isn’t that bad.” There is no assault that is your fault. You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t okay. I believe you. I believe in you.
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I am sitting down in the shower
It is this dirty type of clean
That keeps me trapped in here for hours
Still, I scrub and scrub until my body bleeds
Convince myself I am coming clean
Forget and ignore who I used to be
That kid is never coming back
Bathtub - The Front Bottoms.
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the way sibling abuse is erased constantly and treated as "normal"... to all my fellow survivors of sibling abuse: I see you. You didn't and don't deserve this. You shouldn't have been made to feel unsafe in your own home. You shouldn't have to feel like people laugh about your abuse. You shouldn't feel like you're not allowed to talk about it. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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sometimes you need to whatever yourself through the beggining of your recovery.
I've been talking to my therapist about recovery lately, here are some thoughts.
i had to face a challenge today:
I've got a choice. I send the message to this nutritionist and begin my recovery or i say 'fuck it' because i know it will stay the same.
Then, suddenly, something clicked: people usually tell you that you've got to be ready or you gotta want to be better to start your recovery.
But the thing is: i think this is some sort of lie. That's why so many people can't relate and feel hopeless. Because when you hit rock bottom, you don't want to get better. Because getting better means getting out of this horrifying "comfort zone" bubble your brain has created. Anything outside your daily horror will sound uninteresting and maybe scary to your brain. We do it unconsciously.
I thought about it. I didn't want to fucking message the nutritionist.
I tried to not overthink it and quickly sent the message. I thought to myself whatever.
I didn't want to do it. But i did it. Baby steps.
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Fawning
It makes me nauseous knowing that I was unable to say "no" or that during the abuse I was fawning
I didn't want to do those things ,my body became a puppet to lessen the hurt
I didn't consent!!!!!
I people please a lot ...my family always says I'm a good" helper " ..... it makes me feel disgusting and gross .....
I hide and repress myself so my family will like me ....so I won't be alone but I'm constantly lonely anyways
I didn't want him to do those things to me ......I didn't want to do those actions but I'm just a puppet...only here to please and help others
I didn't consent
I didn't consent
I didn't consent
I didn't consent
I laid there silent and unmoving or I did what he asked out of fear that it would be worse .........
I don't want to be a helper anymore....it hurts it hurts!!!!!
Please someone rescue me !!!
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