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#college memes

Aries: “You heathen infidels.”

Leo: “This play is 2500 years old, which is only about ten or twenty years older than I am.”

Cancer: “It’s one of those German words that doesn’t translate well into English, like all of them.”

Pisces: “No two people can do their project on the same plant, so if you all want to do cannabis, you’re out of luck.”

Scorpio: “There’s 36 goats out there right now that have this power.”

Taurus: (on Roman leather armor) “It’s good on the slashing. Not so good on the stabby.”

Sagittarius: “Satyrs are kind of… terminally horny.”

Gemini: “I could probably talk all day about Sappho. I won’t, but I just want you to know I have that option.”

Virgo: “Artisan cheese… I love artisan cheese.”

Libra: “I can’t figure out what this ‘TikTok’ is.”

Capricorn: “See these walls? They’re damn good walls.”

Aquarius: “This was the original bromance by the way.”

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What if… what if we were both on the same google doc in our college course’s shared drive… and our cursors touched??? Just kidding… unless?

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My mom sent me this today:


My response:

“Considering the butterfly effect and multidimensional superpositions if your canoe loses a wheel the quantity of pancake mix used to re-shingle your roof would be directly proportional to the increase in entropy from the baseline of a fully functional canoe at 2 miles per hour to a canoe with one less wheel at an undefined speed. Now with this in mind, the definition of "river” must be questioned as both metaphysical rivers, metaphorical rivers, and rivers which flow through all have different rheological properties. In the case of a metaphysical river, the amount of pancake mix would equal 5 seeing as there will be an increase in friction by a factor of 7 ghosts. Metaphorical rivers will require no pancake mix, as the issue of the canoe was an existential symbol of life and the apparent randomness of the universe. And lastly in the case of a river which flow through, the canoe is a solid waste unit and the quantity of pancake mix would not be effected by the resultant underwear streak, only the rate of digestion.“

I think I should take this as a sign that Graduate School is hitting a little weird…

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