Tumgik
#come and judge my music taste
cryleigh · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Made a pav playlist
78 notes · View notes
newty · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
🌙 a teredio playlist
also i totally grabbed those words in the edit from meditation by richard aldington go read his poem here.
anyway. some selected Thoughts:
canta per me - Yuki Kajiura
The life of the love beloved in my heart oh be happy, you, my soul sing farewell
strong voice and strong violin. it has a proud tone even through what it asks, but it's also asking bc it won't say goodbye itself.
Before We Drift Away - Nothing but Thieves
And as we sing this familiar song I thought I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone Will it flow into the river Or will it go to waste?
the uncertainty that separation/death is going to happen but with no idea how or when. use of the ocean bc sanbrequois shoreline but also the funerial river in twinside
Free If We Want It - Nothing but Thieves
I walk beside myself To see what's left Of you and me And what it means If it goes wrong (don't look back) At least it was real
reflection on a past that feels meaningless but still had a loved one in it. having the ability to move on but also the choice to continue as things are. but mostly just let that shit go and keep going
see also: stand by me - florence + the machine / tsuki o miteita - kenshi yonezu / let the starts fall down - yuki kajiura / walking the wire - imagine dragons / dance me to the end of love - douglas dare
---DION
Pianissimo - Agent Fresco
Could this be All there is Will this shame have a name Only for this night Calm me for this night Oh this shame has a name
dread, uncertainty, danger, desperation. shame is the name of the love that doesn't speak. relying on smth once and then needing it again and again.
Pyre - Agent Fresco
We both belong to longings of past Can you see the pyre below? We both belong to longings of wrath Can you feel the fire grow? Loneliness has only shown me I can't let you go
pairs w pianissimo. the expectation of punishment and the tone of danger. having no time and finding extensions of smth by carrying it in the body, even if it hurts or it's haunting.
IL DONO DELLA VITA - Måneskin
The sound of your ugly laughter Has opened the way for me to the right path I breathe in clean air And I let it kill me But my heart still beats A light that rips through the ground
defying the ppl who are guiding you by doing what they want and not being destroyed by it. part of me thinks this one is a bit too self aware for dion tho LOL
Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Today, of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
i mean. achilles. convincing someone who did great things that they're worthy of more than nothing and death. the length and how many pleas it takes to finish, but achilles' choice is still left unanswered.
also see: the dragon sups - takeharu ishimoto / too much is never enough - florence + the machine / never let me go - florence + the machine / rest up, ignis - yasunori mitsuda / wait for me - agent fresco
---Terence
The Driver - Måneskin
Bare your soul 'till it's naked Bite my lip 'till you break it If you're gonna set fire to the night Baby, let me be the lighter If there's nowhere to go when you wanna go wild I wanna be the driver
enabler terence!!! also lot of feelings abt power. speaker is ordering the subject to rule over them. the subject is the one doing things, but the speaker is a necessary part to all of them. a driver is in charge of the vehicle but not the destination
De Selby (Part 2) - Hozier
What you live in Darling, it finds a way to live in you I wanna run against the world that's turning Let all time slow, let all light go I wanna kill the lights
aka 'terence doesnt actually show any resentment for bahamut for cursing dion into this bs life but for the next 3 minutes 47 seconds he does.' and hes gonna go against the world if dion wants it done
I, Carrion - Hozier
I do not have wings, love, I never will Soarin' over a world you are carryin' If these heights should bring my fall Let me be your own If I should fall, on that day I only pray, don't fall away from me
laughs in dragoons in the sky and bolting straight back down to earth. also bahamut holding the earth. also god this is so saccharine i almost hate it
also see: lover, please stay - nothing but thieves / ghastly medley acoustic - masashi hamauzu / shield of the king - keiichi okabe / the battle is to the strong - kajiura yuki / francesca - hozier / umi to sanshouu - kenshi yonezu / keep me in the open - gang of youths
also terence & kihel tagteam times are the beginning - one ok rock / blood upon the snow - hozier / lost in the snow - yoshitaka suzuki / tendou-sama is smiling - KOKIA / my hands - leona lewis
18 notes · View notes
july-19th-club · 8 months
Text
WHO! will go to crawford county fair with me either friday night or saturday . none of you live here so obviously nobody but if you did you'd go to the crawford county fair . right?
24 notes · View notes
sugarsnappeases · 2 months
Text
some person i’ve never seen before in my life just came into my kitchen to like put something in the freezer and they were giving me kinda weird looks and i was like ‘okay, rude. i’m literally just tryna eat my scrambled eggs’ but i just had the realisation that the weird looks might’ve been bc i was playing this ten minute instrumental banger of a song like through my speaker quite loudly
3 notes · View notes
chalkeater · 10 months
Text
Im thinking about how some people (ive seen) have this mild hint of Snobbiness when it comes to whether or not you save each song individually like The Old Days (I used to do that) . You download the song + edit the artist name + add a song image… but have you considered that. If you have any form of disability with your hands that its time conuming epecially if you’re just starting and have 500+ songs of backlog? Also even if youre able bodied its just so time consuming and i cant squeeze in the time to download and sort 500+ music if i have more important things to do
8 notes · View notes
higaneion · 1 year
Text
songs that remind me of lilina
hwaa - (g)i-dle
the wind that’s blowing cold, the heart that’s covered in white snow, morning comes to melt them all… burn burn
ditto - newjeans
i got no time to lose…i’ve got nothing to lose, i like you ra-ta-ta-ta my heart echoes
good parts (when the quality is bad but i am) - le sserafim
i just want to love myself in good times and bad times; it’s okay to make mistakes, find the good parts
dandelions - ruth b
i’m in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you’d be mine
enchanted - taylor swift
all i can say is, it was enchanting to meet you
loyal brave true - christina aguilera (from mulan live adaptation)
war is not freedom. over my shoulder, i see a clearer view
entrancing - siyeon solo (instrumental)
cantabile - wjsn (piano cover)
8 notes · View notes
dilftraviskonecny · 1 year
Text
Concerts I went to last year:
Feb. 25th: Eric Nam
July 10th: 5sos
Sep. 3rd: Harry Styles
Sep. 6th: Seventeen
Concert lineup this year so far:
May 13th: Taylor Swift
4 notes · View notes
Text
being sad and listening to desperate measures about the trade
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
hikari-ni-naritai · 1 year
Note
Hey! You love pop music right
Damn I guess you anonymously forgot that I haven't listened to the radio since 2010 (except the local jazz station) and have existed in my own increasingly bizarre echo chamber of music for 12 years. Please forget something else next time! This one is important to remember 💙🙏
4 notes · View notes
philharmonica · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
my february last.fm stats
1 note · View note
elytrafemme · 2 years
Text
will u all still think i’m cool and sexy and awesome if i told u that halsey’s music fundamentally changed me and also is like 90% of what i’ve been listening to recently
5 notes · View notes
spaceytrash · 1 year
Text
I wanna be on the Costa Smeralda so bad this year ngl
1 note · View note
wooyoungiewritings · 5 months
Text
Mr. Popular - Seonghwa x Reader
Summary: After your best friend leaves you alone at the party, you find yourself in an unfortunate situation, until an unexpected savior comes to save the day. Seonghwa, the popular guy, ends up being your knight in shining armor, but he also happens to be the guy your best friend is currently crushing on. So what do you do, when you find yourself getting to know him and he makes you feel things you shouldn't?
Word count: 21.8K
Genre: Fluff, a bit angsty, S M U T
Warnings: smut, fem reader (fem pronouns), oral sex (f receiving), fingering, dirty talk, light choking, hair pulling, unprotected sex, edging (f), Hwa is very dominant hehhehehhe, lmk if I missed anything!
This is all for fun and is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way.
“You know who’s coming tonight?”
You look to your side and see a smirk on your best friend’s lips.
“Judging from the smirk on your lips, I’m guessing one of your boyfriends.” You roll your eyes jokingly and her hand smacks your arm.
“Boyfriends?!” She almost screams, and you send her a pair of eyes to tell her to quiet down. The poor taxi driver has driven you two all across town and has heard plenty of your conversations, and you’re starting to feel bad for him. “They’re not my boyfriends.. yet.” She smirks.
“How many do you plan on dating, huh?” You look out of the window, not recognizing the area. 
“Crushing on someone is not the same as dating them. Just because two of my favorite eye-candies are coming tonight, doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to both of them.”
“And who’s that?” You ask curiously. Last time you counted, she was crushing on 5 people from your school, a few of whom she has never spoken to.
“Mingi and Seonghwa.” She answers confidently. “And who I’ll be shooting my shot at tonight, all depends on who catches my eye first.” She shrugs, and you roll your eyes once again. Once again, you feel bad for the taxi driver, but when you see a house full of people, you know you’re finally at your destination. You pay for the cab before heading out, and the music from the house blasts loudly in every direction. 
Your best friend grabs you under the arm and drags you towards the party she got you both invited to. She was the social one of the two of you. She knew everyone, knew how to get her way, and was happily dragging you along with her. You on the other hand, mostly only agreed to come so she would keep inviting you to things. 
It’s hard to be as extroverted as her, but you got a taste of the popularity from her, and that was enough for you. You didn’t attend these parties quite often. They were alright, but you enjoyed your relaxing weekends even more. But it had been a while since your last party, so you decided tonight was the night.
People fill the yard outside, smoking and drinking, and you mentally prepare yourself for the party inside. As you enter through the front door, you’re welcomed by a vibrant atmosphere. Every room is filled with people laughing and dancing, and the bass from the music vibrates through the entire floor to your body. The smell of alcohol filling your nose, a group of guys screaming over a game of beer pong, and the sticky floor from spilled alcohol remind you why these parties aren’t your favorite way to spend your night. You look to your side and see your best friend scanning the room.
“You see something?” You ask, seeing as she squints her eyes in a certain direction.
“I’ve spotted my target for tonight.” She wriggles her brows with a smirk and you feel her let go of your arm. “A tall Mingi just went out to the backyard.” She lets completely go of you, but before she goes anywhere, you grab her hand again.
“Are you leaving me?” Panic is evident in your voice. You’ve been here for 15 seconds, and she’s already about to leave you for a guy.
“No! I’m just... Getting us something to drink... From the backyard...” Her excuse isn't getting her far, and your sigh lets her know how you feel about the situation. “I’ll just go talk to him really quick, okay? I’ll be back. Please?” She sends you her famous doe-eyes as she softly holds your hand.
“The eyes only work on guys, you know that,” You shake your head, looking at the door Mingi just went through. Your gaze meets her eyes again, and another deep sigh leaves you. “Go.. Before I change my mind.” Your words have her jumping, and she quickly kisses you on the cheek before making her way toward the door that leads to the backyard and a certain Mingi. 
A sigh escapes between your lips as you look around at the party in this unfamiliar house. Your eyes try to scan after someone you can hang out with while your friend shoots her shot, but it only leaves you unsatisfied. You recognize a few people, but not anyone you’d categorize as your friends. A group of guys runs past you, nearly running into your still-standing frame, before they exit the door filled with drunken laughs.  
Your introverted side is really kicking your ass right now. 
You find your phone in your pocket, trying your best to look busy and fail to see the eyes watching you from across the room. Eyes that belong to someone who doesn’t see you at these parties very often, and is too busy people watching, compared to his friends around him who have their own conversation going. He takes a sip of his drink as his eyes stay on you. He wonders why you’re all by yourself, or if you’re waiting for someone. 
“Don’t you think, Hwa?” Wooyoung asks as San laughs, but Seonghwa hasn’t heard a word of their conversation.
“Sure.” He simply responds and looks at you again. A loud group of guys snatch his attention from you. They’ve been loud the entire night, and he’s honestly not a fan of this group of guys. They’re from another college and are always at these parties where they tend to make a fool of themselves. The group of guys are standing around a small table filled with bottles of alcohol, and a few of them point in a specific direction. Seonghwa’s eyes follow their pointing and he realizes they’re talking about you. 
This catches his attention even more, and he keeps his eyes on the group of guys as he watches them make a drink, and one of them heads in your direction, two drinks in hand. 
“Hey, you look a bit lost?” A voice steals the focus from your phone, and you look up to see a guy with two drinks in his hands.
“Oh, I just barely know anyone here.” You say, putting away your phone. 
“Then let me accompany you, I’m Daniel! Nice to meet you,” He holds out a hand for you to shake. He has a friendly smile on his lips, so you shake his hand and introduce yourself. “You came here alone?” He asks.
“No, I came with someone else but I kinda lost them. So I just decided to stay here... they’ll come back... Hopefully.” You honestly don’t know when your best friend will be back. She’s done this a few times before, and she can be back in 5 minutes or 3 hours. 
“Well, lucky for you, I happen to be alone as well. Can I join you?” He sends you another smile. His voice is courteous and accommodating, and he’s the only one who has talked to you, so you decide to let your inner extrovert shine.
“Sure.” You shrug.
“Cool. I also happen to carry an extra drink with me... Are you up for a game?” He lifts a brow daringly, and it turns on a fire in you. You may not know this guy, or be the biggest fan of drinking games, but you feel tempted to accept. 
“It depends.” There’s a skepticism evident in your voice.
“Whoever chucks the fastest, gets to make the other one a drink, and they have to drink it. Deal?” He holds out one of the drinks for you. The orange color of the drink makes it look fruity, and you’re tempted to lose yourself for once. 
Have fun, be open, meet people. 
“Deal” You grab the drink.
A smile spreads on his lips and he holds out his drink to cheer with you. You bump your drink with his and slowly get ready for this small challenge he gave you. Your hand brings the drink to your lips, and you get ready to chuck while Daniel starts a countdown. 
“Alright, ready? 3..2..1..”
“There you are!” An unknown voice interrupts just as you’re about to drink. You and Daniel both stop and look at the owner of the voice, and you freeze when you see a tall figure next to you. “Sorry, I took so long, Angel. You’re already starting without me?” Seonghwa asks before he grabs the drink from your hand. You’re completely frozen in your spot as you watch Seonghwa take a sip of the drink and make a disgusted face. “Oh, babe, you don’t like this... Remember that drink you tasted a few weeks ago? It tastes exactly like that,” Seonghwa pours out the drink in an empty bowl on the table next to you. His scent wraps around you like a warm hug, when he relaxes his arm around your shoulders and shifts his gaze to Daniel. “And who do we have here?”
Daniel narrows his eyes in Seonghwa’s direction, but Seonghwa doesn’t seem intimidated in the slightest.  
“Daniel,” He answers coldly. "Who are you?"
“Let’s get you something good to drink.” Seonghwa looks down at you with a smile and completely ignores Daniel's question and presence. Seonghwa's black hair falls down in front of his eyes as he looks down at you, and you’re lost for words. You’ve never spoken to Seonghwa before, only seen him in class or whenever your best friend wanted to show pictures of him, but being this close to him so suddenly, seeing his sharp features up close, sends a quick rush of warmth throughout your body. 
Seonghwa definitely caught your eye at times. He and his friends were some of the popular guys on campus, and most people knew who they were. Hence, they were always at the parties. But Seonghwa seemed like one of the more “friendly” ones. He wasn’t as intimidating as some of the others in his group and generally gave you the best impression. And seeing him up close like this, you see why so many girls were crushing on him.
Seonghwa grabs your hand and wedges himself through the crowd and into the empty kitchen, leaving Daniel alone. The loud music quiets down to a less deafening volume, yet the loud voices from people are still evident from around the house. Alcohol, empty cups, and chips are lined up on the kitchen island, and he lets go of your hand before you watch him as he starts mixing two drinks.
“What just happened?” Is all you finally manage to say as Seonghwa locks his focus on the drinks.
“He and his friends.. bad news.” He explains and you watch him pour alcohol and soda into the cups. His black slightly curly hair falls down on his face again, and together with his big black sweater, he gives a relaxed vibe, despite being in the chaotic household.
“Really? He seemed cool.” You don’t know much about these parties, but Daniel seemed nice, and not like “bad news” as Seonghwa called him.
“Yeah, they do until they get you drunk and take advantage of you.” His words make it sound like this has happened before. He doesn’t keep his eyes on you much, too focused on making the drinks as he takes a quick sip of one of them. He doesn’t look fully satisfied and continues to mix some more soda into the cups.
“Do you know him?” You ask.
“I know about him, but I saw him approach you and the way he spoke to you.” He grabs a spoon and uses it to mix the liquids in the cups. His words have you tilting your head slightly.
“You were watching me?” You ask, narrowing your eyes jokingly at him. Seonghwa smiles to himself, avoiding your eyes, and keeps his gaze on the drinks. 
“Here..“ He hands out one of the cups to you, ignoring your question. He finally looks into your eyes and the big brown eyes lock with yours as you take the drink. “He and his friends had hidden the taste of alcohol so you would get drunk quicker,” He explains before taking a quick sip of his cup. “Never take drinks from strangers.” 
“Kinda suspicious saying that after handing me a drink, don’t you think?” You ask, lifting the cup to your lips. You let the liquid make its way into your mouth, and you're instantly impressed with the flavor. It doesn’t taste a lot like alcohol, but you also noticed how much soda Seonghwa added to the drinks compared to the amount of alcohol. 
Seonghwa sends you a warm smile. “I’m Seonghwa.” He says.
“I know.” You say before telling him your name in return.
“I know. We have class together.” His words leave you slightly speechless. Never had you noticed his eyes on you or heard your name escape through his lips. Sitting at the other end of the classroom, not being part of the same friend groups, never sharing a conversation. It honestly made sense if he didn’t have any idea of your existence. 
“I didn’t think you had noticed me,” You say quietly, trying to hide your blushing cheeks. His soft piercing eyes had a bigger effect on you than you cared to admit. “In a class with 95 other students, I feel like it’s pretty easy to blend in.” 
He shakes his head. “Nah, I see you in class..” The way his eyes continue to show warmth and friendliness, despite never looking into them for this long, have your knees softening. “You have a very innocent face. Like an angel,” His words make you forget everything for a second, never having heard that compliment before. “But I usually see you with this other girl, I think I saw a glimpse of her and Mingi tonight.” 
Hearing how your best friend successfully made a move on Mingi, somehow makes you feel a little better for her leaving you. At least her plan worked.
“Speaking of her..” You start, looking at your cup. “What do you think of her?” Your curiosity got the best of you. Talking to Seonghwa, one of her many crushes, could open your chances of being a wonderful wingman for your friend.
A wrinkle formed between Seonghwa’s brows as he tried reading where this conversation was heading. His skepticism of the topic held him back from answering, so you decided to expose your friend.
“My friend has a little crush on you. That’s why I’m asking.” You shrug, and Seonghwa let out an awkward laugh.
“Oh... I haven’t spoken with her enough to have an opinion. She seems nice though.” It didn’t seem like he was ecstatic at the information about your friend’s crush on him. But Seonghwa seemed like the guy to get confessions from girls a few times a week, so this probably wasn’t new to him.
“I’m just saying... If you want to shoot your shot with her, she won't decline.” You’re working your hardest, trying to be the best wingman for your friend. If only she knew that you were spending your time talking to her crush about her, while she was shootig her shot at someone else.
Seonghwa seem to have the same train of thought. 
"Are you trying to set me up with your friend while she's visibly trying to hook up with my friend?" There's a smile on his lips, slight confusion evident in his voice.
"Look, I'm just trynna be a good wingman here." You hold up your hands like you're innocent, earning a chuckle from Seonghwa.
“Well, maybe... But I’m kinda busy tonight trying to save this girl from some creep trying to get her drunk at this party.” A smirk formed on Seonghwa’s lips and the urge to roll your eyes rushed over you. 
His brown eyes were slightly hidden by his black hair, and as much as you hated to admit it, you felt intrigued by him. He had a certain charm and friendliness that made you addicted to his presence, and despite only talking for a short amount of time, you’re already more than comfortable around him.
“You don’t think I’m able to take care of myself?” You ask teasingly.
“Oh, I know you can take care of yourself. But when you see a blind person crossing the street, you still offer help, even though they know how to walk by themselves.” His anecdote had you smiling. He lifts his cup slightly in your direction, still with a smirk decorating his lips. “Cheers, angel face.” His smirk hides behind his cup as he keeps his eyes on you. Never did you think your best friend’s crush would be your savior of the night, but you find yourself more comfortable with him than anyone else at this party so far.
You both lift each of your cups to your mouth, and you taste the sweet taste on your tongue. Seonghwa’s eyes linger on you while he also takes a sip, and you’re glad you can blame the warmth in your cheeks on the alcohol. 
The two of you start various conversations in the middle of the kitchen, barely noticing the people around you, and you use this time to try and get to know Seonghwa. He's making you laugh, telling you stories about previous parties, and telling you about his friend group. You try opening up to him as well, but you realize how his life is much more exciting than yours. But Seonghwa is very accommodating and asks multiple questions about you, making you feel welcome. 
It makes you feel better, having someone to talk to in this crowded house of strangers, but as you're about to say something, a presence enters the kitchen, stealing Seonghwa’s attention from you.
“Seonghwa! I’ve been looking for you!” The female voice bursts out, and you look at the doorway to see a beautiful girl walking towards Seonghwa. Instantly, your confidence falls to the ground, as the popular girl steals the popular guy from you. 
You watch as she walks past you, barely paying you any attention as she steps in front of you so she can talk to Seonghwa. Your feet take a few steps back, allowing her the space she needs. Seonghwa notices how you move away and he looks down at the intruder. 
“Oh, sorry, can I talk to you in a minute? I have-”
“You said that before too!” The girl interrupts, and you meet Seonghwa’s apologetic eyes. You know you’re not usually a part of this environment, and the people used to these parties probably know each other in a way you don’t. You send Seonghwa a smile and take a few steps toward the doorway.
“It’s fine, I have to find my friend... Thank you for this.” You hold up the drink before making your way out of the kitchen. You ignore the small crack in your heart as you walk away, actually not wanting to stop your conversation with Seonghwa. You’re thankful for him saving you, but you don’t want to hold him back from talking to his friends at the party. You decide not to look back at Seonghwa as you make your way through the crowd. What you don’t see is Seonghwa’s locked gaze on you as you walk away, barely listening to the girl in front of him. 
You choose to look after your friend, deciding on her behalf that she has spent enough time with Mingi. What you didn’t expect, was to search for her everywhere for what felt like hours. You even ended up searching for Mingi, but both of them seemed gone like the wind. Going around the crowded house multiple times, trying to find a familiar face was an impossible mission. The thought of leaving did cross your mind, but you were in an unfamiliar neighborhood all the way across town. Getting a cab would be expensive as hell, and since you expected to share a cap with your friend, you weren’t keen on the idea of paying twice as much for a ride home. You therefore decide to stay, hopefully finding your best friend sooner or later.
The softness of the couch felt like a reward as you sat down amid the crowd, relaxing your legs. You wrote a mental note to yourself to never let your friend leave you in the middle of a party where you know literally zero people. 
The couch gets another visitor, and you look to your side to see a smile in your direction.
“Guess you didn’t find your friend?” Seonghwa asks, earning a shake of your head.
“Nope. She’s literally gone with the wind.” You lean further back on the couch when Seonghwa hands out a cup for you.
“No thank you, I don’t feel like drinking anymore.” 
“Good thing it’s water then. I figured you weren’t in the mood for alcohol.” He sends you a warm smile, and you see the clear liquid in the cup. 
You always saw Seonghwa as the friendly type, but he also seemed kind, funny, and thoughtful. He’s like your knight in shining armor tonight, saving you from the villains, who happen to be drunk frat guys. 
“You know, a guy once told me to never take drinks from strangers, so I don’t think I can accept this.” Despite being in a bad mood, you still find the energy to tease Seonghwa, and he responds by rolling his eyes with a smile.
“Good thing I’m not a stranger then, but a guy from your class slash guy who saved you from getting too drunk slash your best friend’s crush.” He extends his arm with the cup for you to take, and you chuckle as you accept the water. Him addressing himself as “your best friend’s crush” kicks you in the head, as you didn’t expect to suddenly feel a certain type of way about that title.
If your best friend hadn’t been crushing on Seonghwa for months, you would have allowed the caged butterflies in your stomach to break free, but you couldn’t. You’re not a bad friend.
“Good point. Thank you.” 
“What have you been doing all night? besides talking to creepy frat guys and sitting here?” Seonghwa keeps his soft eyes on you, and a deep sigh leaves between your lips. Is now the time you break to Seonghwa what you’ve been doing all night, or should you make it sound like you had the time of your life?
You decide on the first one.
“Oh, I had one hell of a night. I spent 25 minutes on the bathroom floor upstairs because I didn’t know where else to go. It has underfloor heating if that sounds tempting.” You take a sip of the water, letting the cold freshness hit you. 
“Wow, I kinda wish that was me.” He jokingly replies.
“I have something better... someone spilled this weird green substance all over my arm, which probably completely ruined my shirt. Then I walked around the house six times, went outside to get some air, and now I’m here.” You look to see his brown eyes full of amusement looking back at you, and him trying his best to hide the smile on his lips.
“You’re right, that is better.” He says, and you can’t help but chuckle at the way your night has been so far. 
Your eyes travel around the crowd, and they instantly dwell on the girl who interrupted your conversation with Seonghwa earlier. She’s standing in the crowd, surrounded by her friends, but her eyes are locked on Seonghwa. It’s obvious to you that she’s trying to get his attention, and seeing how popular Seonghwa is amongst the girls, you’re reminded of how different the two of you are.
He likes to party, he’s popular, and all the girls in school love him because of his handsome looks and welcoming personality... On the other hand, you barely know anyone, like to stay home to watch a movie by yourself, and have not once had any romantic interaction with any guy from your school.
“You seem quite popular,” You say quietly, feeling Seonghwa’s eyes on you for more context. You point to the girl on the dance floor, and as he lays his eyes on the girl, she sends him a small wave. You can’t help but look at Seonghwa to see his reaction, but he simply sends her a smile in return. Your eyes flicker between them for a moment. “Don’t let me hold you back if you wanna talk to her.”
“Hey, can I show you something?” He suddenly asks, changing the subject. His gaze goes back to you, and you look at him with squinted eyes.
“I hate these questions. It can either be a wart on the ass, a beautiful sunset, or anything in between.” Your words have him almost breaking into a laugh, but he tries his best to keep his cool.
“If I promise it isn’t a wart on my ass, will you come with me?” He asks with a raised brow. 
“I’m not sure.” 
“Suit yourself then.” He stands up from the couch like he knows you'll get up to follow him. And without looking back at you, he senses your presence behind him, and he takes you to the first floor. The crowd is much thinner up here, easier to talk.
“Alright, wait here..” He turns around to you, and you look at him patiently as he sends you a warm smile. His tall frame walks past you and heads downstairs once again, and you stand patiently in the hallway. 
What you see up here, isn’t surprising to you. Couples enter the first floor, hand in hand, find themselves in an empty room, and lock the door behind them immediately after. It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s happening behind the door, and a slight worry washes over you. What does Seonghwa want up here? Is he actually like the boys you hear about, who messes with girls at parties and leaves them right after? When is he coming back? 
And you have plenty of time to think those things through because after 25 minutes, Seonghwa is still nowhere to be seen. You’re left in the hallway, couples entering and exiting the different rooms, and you’re still leaning up against the wall Seonghwa left you at. Deciding you’ve waited enough, your feet start to move.
You decide to walk downstairs again, not knowing what to expect when he left you in the empty hallway. But when you see him talking and laughing with that girl from earlier in the middle of the crowd, you feel stupid for waiting so long.
Seonghwa is popular, and girls love him. You understand why they do, so you can’t even blame him for constantly being busy talking to people. The thoughts are quickly pushed out of your head, as you make your way upstairs again and lock yourself into the bathroom for the second time tonight. 
You don’t know how much time you spend in the bathroom, only sitting on the heated floor in your own company as you wait for a cab to arrive and take you home. You’ve decided you’d rather pay for the expensive ride home than be all alone at this party. After receiving a message that the cab is near, you open the door and surprise hits you when you see who waits on the other side. 
Seonghwa, breathing heavily like he had been running around, is leaning against the door frames, trapping you inside the bathroom. A sight of relief flashes through his eyes when he sees you, and you’re taken aback by his tall frame in front of you.
“How’d you know I was here?” You ask.
“Underfloor heating.” He simply replies, and you mentally curse at yourself for exposing your hiding place earlier. “I’ve been looking for you, why did you go?”
You take a moment to figure out how to answer, not wanting to make it sound like you're mad, because honestly, you're not. You're just tired of running around, searching for people when you'd rather be home.
“Well... you left me standing alone for 25 minutes and then I saw you downstairs talking to your friends, so I just decided to go.” The awkward smile on your lips sums up the emotions you're feeling. "It's fine though, don't worry about it."
Seonghwa’s shoulders fall and regret washes over him.
“I didn’t-..” He stops mid-sentence and looks around before making his way into the bathroom with you and locking the door behind him. The two of you are now completely alone, separating yourself from the party and blasting music downstairs. “Shit, sorry.. Hey, I didn’t mean to leave you like that. I was gonna show you the balcony but I needed the keys from one of the guys here, but then my friend Wooyoung got in a fight and this girl from before wouldn’t let me leave alone and then-”
“Seonghwa, it’s okay, you really don’t have to explain..” You interrupt Seonghwa before he loses his own breath. “You’re at a party and you should enjoy yourself with all of your friends. I promise you don’t have to feel bad, the two of us aren’t even friends. I just called a cap anyway so I’m going home.”
“Home? Where do you live?”
You tell him your address and his brows nearly shoot up in the ceiling. 
“You know how expensive a cab is gonna be from here? It’s all the way across town.” He says as if you weren’t perfectly aware of the situation.
“I don’t have much choice.” You shrug.
“You can stay?” 
“And be surrounded by strangers with no one to talk to besides creepy dudes who tryna get me drunk? No, thank you.” You scoff at the idea of staying, already surprised you aren’t home in your bed already. As much as you hate to admit it, Seonghwa was the reason why you stayed even longer, but you not knowing anyone at the party, isn't his responsibility. He should have fun with his friends. Not be your babysitter.
“Well, I’m coming with you then.” His words shoot out of his mouth and hit you like a bullet. You did not expect this answer, but you shake your head in response to him.
“No, don’t. You seem to have a great time here, and I can take a cap myself.” 
“I know you can, but I’ll have to take a cap later eventually and I don’t wanna pay all of that money. This way, we’ll split.” His reasoning does make sense, but you still feel like you’re robbing him from having fun at the party.
“Are you sure? I don’t want-”
“Come on, stop trying to convince me otherwise. Let’s just go.” Before you get to say anything, Seonghwa grabs your hand, locks your fingers with his, and opens the bathroom door. You try to ignore the way your hand feels in his, as he makes his way downstairs with you behind him, his large frame shielding you from the people in the crowd. He makes sure to look back at you, ensuring himself he isn’t losing you out of his sight again, already feeling terrible for leaving you like he did.
As he finally sees the front door, he abruptly stops when he notices the group by the exit. Your body almost crashes into his, but he’s quick to turn around and stop you. Worry flashes in his eyes, and you suddenly have no idea what to expect, but he’s quick to notice the way his action affects you and informs you of the situation.
“Alright, don’t look, but the guy, Daniel, from earlier and his friends are standing by the door... I really don’t trust them so just stay behind me. Okay?” He tries his best not to worry you, but you see the way his eyes look and you’re not certain of the situation. But despite the growing knot in your stomach, you nod before he turns around and makes his way to the front door. 
You try your best to do as Seonghwa said and stay close to him, and you have a slight hope that the group of guys won’t notice you and Seonghwa leaving, but it quickly falls to the ground when Daniel steps in front of Seonghwa. Your body hides behind Seonghwa as he just stares Daniel straight in the eyes, waiting for him to let you guys through the door.
“Hey, sorry to bother you two again, but I didn't get your name earlier.. Haven’t I seen you before?” Daniel questions, obviously trying to provoke Seonghwa in some way.
“I don’t know, your face doesn’t seem recognizable.” Seonghwa responds, only stirring the pot, trying to annoy Daniel. A scoff leaves Daniel, and you feel the knot in your stomach grow. You really want to get out of here, as you don’t feel safe around this Daniel-guy. 
You squeeze Seonghwa’s hand in yours, trying to get his attention. “Seonghwa-”
“Ohhhh, now I know! You’re the Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa, the one who is friends with San and Wooyoung!” Daniel shouts, interrupting you. You notice how people have started gathering around you like they’re waiting for something to happen. This only makes you even more nervous about the situation, and Seonghwa instantly notices your reaction to the crowd around you.
“Listen, if you have anything going on with them, it’s not my problem. Just let us get out of here.” Seonghwa’s words are soft like he doesn’t want to make the situation worse. 
“Of course... Can you just give this to your friends then?” Daniel holds out a closed fist, waiting for Seonghwa to hold out his hand. But before Seonghwa gets to react, Daniel swings his arm and a punch is thrown at Seonghwa’s face. A loud gasp flies out of your mouth, and your free hand covers your mouth in shock. Your heart is beating faster than ever, almost messing up your breathing.
Seonghwa’s body turns, and he hunches over from the hit. His free hand goes to his mouth, where the salty, metallic taste of blood hits him. 
“Tell your friends I said hi.” Daniel takes a step forward, hunching down close to Seonghwa as he speaks hushed to Seonghwa only. “I know the people around you, Seonghwa... I’ve seen your little girlfriend now too, so don’t fuck with me.” Daniel bites before making his way through the big crowd of people, now surrounding you. Seonghwa removes his hand to see blood coming from his lip, and for a split second, he almost loses his cool. 
Daniel's friends follow him, a few of them knocking their shoulders into Seonghwa purposefully, before they all disappear into the crowd. Whispers from the staring eyes surrounding you start, and Seonghwa stands up straight before heading in the direction Daniel went. As he takes the first step, he feels a pull from his hand, and when he turns around, his heart almost breaks.
You stand before him, tears forming in your eyes, silently begging him not to go after the group. Everything stops when he sees the look in your eyes. You look scared, concerned, worried. It breaks his heart in a way he never expected, so he squeezes your hand, still in his, and looks you soft in the eyes.
“Let’s go.” He says before dragging you with him out of the house, leaving the chaotic scene. The cap is outside waiting for you, and Seonghwa helps you inside before getting in the cap himself. He tells the driver your address, remembering from when you told him before and he looks at you concerned. “Hey, are you okay?”
Your gaze shoots at him, slightly confused with his question. “Am I okay? You just got punched in the face.”
“I’m fine... But you’re crying.” 
You hadn’t noticed your tears before he mentioned it, and you rub your eyes, removing the evidence. The sight of Seonghwa getting punched in the face replays in your head.
“It looked scary... Seeing you being punched like that.” You don’t know what to say, looking down at your hands, resting on your lap. You feel the rush of guilt over you for having Seonghwa interact with Daniel tonight because of you. 
“I’ll just put some ice on it when I get home. It’ll probably bruise a little, but that’s all.” He tries searching for your gaze, but you keep avoiding him.
A silence fills the car, the only sound coming from the low radio in the cap. The streetlights pass you as you’re on your way home. After hours of being in the house with loud music, it should feel relieving to sit in the silence of the car. But your mind is running wild, thoughts louder than any music.
Seonghwa is about to open his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.
“You do this a lot? Get into fights? If I hadn’t pulled you back I’m scared you would’ve gotten into a real fight.” You finally get the courage to look at him, and he immediately shakes his head.
“No... I would’ve told him to leave us alone. Leave you alone.” He replies softly, but you still have questions flooding your mind.
“Why did he want to fight? Are your friends.. dangerous?” 
Seonghwa seems taken aback by your questions and shakes his head again.
“Noo, no no, not at all! San and Wooyoung just like to pull pranks on people, and some people take their pranks a little more seriously than they intend to.” Seonghwa begins explaining, not wanting to hide anything from you. “Remember the fight I told you Wooyoung got in earlier? It was with one of the guys from Daniel's friend group, and I guess Daniel and his friends are some of those people who take their pranks a little too personally.” He tries reading the look on your face, but the cap is dark, only lit up by the streetlights outside. But the silence coming from you is enough for him to know how you feel. “I’ll talk to San tomorrow and make sure this won’t happen again. I’m sorry you had to see that.”
A heavy sigh escapes Seonghwa as he runs his fingers through his hair, the weighing feeling on his shoulders feels unbearable as the night escalated from the beginning. From the moment he saw you, he felt like he needed to protect you. Step in and make you feel safe and comfortable at the party. But as he kept talking to you, he found himself not wanting to go from you. But he kept doing so. He kept messing it up for himself, and he couldn’t stop mentally cursing at himself for doing this to you. For ruining your night, when all you deserved was a simple friend to hang out with.
He’s about to open his mouth and apologize for making your night shitty, but your words stop him.
“Please let me help you with your lip, you need to get some ice on that. That’s the least I can do.”
Confusion hits him, not sure he heard you right.
“What do you mean? This didn’t happen because of you.” He points at his mouth, blood still visible from the busted lip.
“But I feel like if I hadn’t talked to him, you wouldn’t have had to step in and save me from getting dead drunk. Please, I really want to help, you can also sleep on the couch if you wanna stay over. I have a pretty good couch if I do say so myself.” 
Seonghwa doesn’t know what to say. His eyes just soften even more at the sight of you blaming yourself for something out of your control. 
“But-”
“Seonghwa.” You insist again, not backing down. The guilt is taking up most of the space in your stomach, so you need him to accept your offer. He looks at you for a moment, trying to see who of the two of you backs down first. But a deep sigh leaves between Seonghwa’s lips as he realizes how stubborn you are.
“Sure.”
Silence surrounds the both of you for the rest of the ride to your apartment complex, and you feel him follow you as you exit the cap and make your way to your apartment. None of you said a word to the other in the elevator to your floor, both exhausted from the chaotic night. You unlock your front door as he awaits behind you, and he takes in the sight of your home when you both enter.
“Just... act like you’re home, you can get comfortable on the couch while I find something for your lip.” You throw your keys and purse on the small table in the hallway, before disappearing into the kitchen. 
Seonghwa slowly makes his way further into your apartment while you find what’s necessary. You find some frozen peas in your freezer and wrap the bag in a towel so I won’t be too cold on his lip. Having Seonghwa in your apartment was definitely not something you ever expected to happen, but your mind is running on survival mode after the chaotic night. You also find some vaseline for the wound, along with some saltwater. 
As you enter the living room, Seonghwa is studying the pictures decorating your wall. His relaxed figure, hands resting in his front pockets as he studies the pictures with a small smile. 
He seems too focused on the decor in your apartment to notice your presence. “Seonghwa,” You say and he turns around, immediately looking at you with the cleaning kit you’ve gathered. “Couch.” 
“Yes, boss.” Despite the weird tension from the fight, he still manages to tease you as you both get comfortable on the couch. You turn on a small lamp behind the couch to get a better view of his wound, and you start rinsing his lip with the saltwater. 
He winces at the touch, and you look apologetic at him as you continue to remove the dried blood from his lip. You try to make it quick, not wanting him to be in more pain, and quickly put pressure on the lip with the frozen peas. 
“Hold this.” You say.
Seonghwa goes to grab the bag and his large hand covers yours while doing so. You can’t help but notice how small your hand is compared to his, and the warmth from his adds a significant contrast to the frozen peas, freezing in your palm. Shocked by the feeling he gives you, you pull your hand away, leaving him to hold the peas alone against his lip.
“It feels nice,” His voice gets deeper as he relaxes on your couch and leans back. “You really are an angel, aren't you?” There's a teasing in his voice, but the words have a bigger chokehold on you than you would like to admit. 
Seonghwa’s eyes close, and you take this opportunity to really study his features, and the first thing you notice is how incredibly handsome he is. His black hair looks more messy compared to the beginning of the night, now constantly resting before his eyes. He hasn’t done anything to fix it for a while, and a part of you wants to remove it, but the messy look suits him better than ever. 
He looks so soft relaxing against the pillows on your couch, the light behind you perfectly highlighting certain parts of his face. His lips are slightly parted, long eyelashes resting on the top of his cheekbones and his breathing gets softer the more relaxed he is. 
Before you catch yourself doing something you might regret, you shake your head to yourself and look away from him.
“Thank you for helping me tonight. My impression of you has only gotten better.” You say, breaking the silence. Tonight’s party left you with a weird feeling, but if it hadn’t been for Seonghwa, you wouldn’t even imagine what would have happened to you.
His eyes open, instantly focusing on you with a soft look. 
“Did you have a bad impression of me before?” He asks curiously. 
“No, not at all. Tonight just confirmed that you don’t fit into the popular-asshole-category. More the popular-nice-guy-category.” Your shoulders lift to a shrug, and your eyes lock in the dimmed light. You notice a flash of something unknown in his eyes as the words leave your mouth. He gets silent once again, looking away from you before taking a deep breath.
“I don’t see myself as popular thought.” He admits. You suddenly wish he could see himself from your perspective. This man was the blueprint of the perfect, popular guy. Has many friends, is nice, is invited to all the parties, everyone knows him. Not to forget all the girls searching for his attention. 
“Are you serious? The amount of girls I saw drooling over you tonight, is actually insane.” 
“Yeah, but they just want me to fuck them,” His eyes shoot back at you. “It’s only superficial from their side.” 
You’re taken aback by the way this conversation is going, not knowing how to respond. There’s a subtle hint of hurt in his voice, but also acceptance. Like this is just the way it is. 
“Sounds like you’ve got some experience with that.” You say.
“Mhm.. That’s how it is with these people,” He shrugs, still relaxing against the big cushions on the couch, letting his eyes travel away from you to gather his thoughts. “You party at the same house, with the same people with the same mindset, every weekend. Maybe, you find someone interesting, take them to an empty room, and you fuck each other. Then you walk out of there and don’t talk until the next party, where you fuck again. These people want to feel love, but they don’t actually want it.” 
The way he talks about the parties sounds similar to how your best friend describes them. She loves the chaotic energy it brings, how people are kind of the same, looking for the same thing. But Seonghwa’s description doesn’t sound as appealing as when she talks about it. And it all reminds you again, why you aren’t going to these parties every weekend.
“Do you want it?” You ask. “Love?”
“I want it with the right person,” He still looks away from you, letting out his thoughts. “I used to like this environment. Going to parties, having girls throw themselves at me, feeling like I could get whatever I wanted without having to make an effort. It made me feel.. powerful. But I also started to feel used. Like I wasn’t more than a good fuck to them.”
He then looks back at you, and you now understand where the hurt in his voice came from. 
Never had you expected this about Seonghwa, he always seemed like he thrived in the popularity and the benefits that came with it. 
But maybe he was right. It is all superficial.
“Well, not to be that person, but I feel like they’re missing out if they don’t get to know you.” You send him a smile, trying your best to light the mood with the truth in your words. 
“And you say that like you know me.” His lips tug into a smirk.
“I feel like I’m starting to have a pretty good idea of who you are.”
“And who am I?”
You take a moment to think, considering the pros and cons of telling him.
“I don’t wanna say, in case I’m wrong and it bites me in the ass.” Your words leave him smiling. This side of Seonghwa is the purest you’ve seen so far. 
In class, he’s usually very talkative and once again, popular. But this Seonghwa, who’s opening up to you like you’ve known each other for years, has a depth you have never seen in him. And the more you get to know him, the less you understand how someone can sleep with him and not feel the need to know him for him. 
Just by the conversations you’ve shared tonight, you’re intrigued by his welcoming personality, his need to protect the ones around him, and his warm smile. 
You look away from his eyes and down to the frozen bag of peas, still pressed against his lip. “How does your lip feel?”
“Swollen. Is it?” He removes the bag and turns his head so you can get a better view of the busted lip. The light from the lamp behind you doesn’t really do its justice, and only creates shadows from your heads instead. 
“Turn your head to the light,” You guide him, and he turns again but it doesn’t help. “Here, let me.” 
You gently grab a hold of his face and scoop closer to him as you turn his head. The light perfectly shows you the condition of his lip, and you do your best to see any swelling. But the more you look at his lips, you can’t seem to look away. 
They’re slightly parted, and as he gently relaxes in your hands, you can’t help but realize how perfect they look. The color, the shape. Everything comes together, and you suddenly wonder how it would be to be kissed by those lips. How soft of a kiss he would leave on your lips, or how they could leave traces of kisses down your skin. All while speaking with the mildness in his voice, and the gentle touch from his fingers travel over you.
You suddenly realize where your thoughts were taking you, and you look up to his eyes, to see him stare back at you. 
Heart pounding hard against your chest, you let go of his face and scoop away from him on the couch.
“Uhm, it looks okay, just make sure to put on the Vaseline and you’ll be good,” You stand up from the couch and point to the blankets next to him. “There are blankets and pillows on the couch, so make yourself at home, and if you need anything just knock on my door.” You rub your palms on your hips, trying to get rid of the sweatiness.
Seonghwa looks up at you from the couch, sending you a smile.
“Alright. Thank you.” 
Not knowing what to do and mentally cursing yourself for having those thoughts about him, you quickly make your way to your bedroom. 
“Goodnight, Seonghwa.” 
“Goodnight, angel.”
***
Nervous to open the door from your bedroom, you take a deep breath before pulling down the handle. Silence rings in the hallway leading to the living room where Seonghwa slept for the night. 
Your roaming mind had Seonghwa as the main character in your thoughts the entire night. After getting closer to each other last night, you had no idea how to behave normally in the morning. But you slowly made your way down the hallway, towards the living room, expecting to see Seonghwa on the couch. But when you peek your head out, afraid to wake him up in case he is still sleeping, you see an empty couch, blankets nicely folded and pillows perfectly lined up. 
Your brows come together in question at the sight, but you quickly notice what awaits you on the small table by the couch. You step closer to see a coffee and a small brown bag with a sticky note attached to it. 
Confusion speaks for itself when you grab the sticky note from the bag and look around the living room before reading.
Good morning! Hope you slept well! :) My boss called me.. Someone called in sick and  they needed one asap, so I had to step in.. Sorry to leave out of the blue, but I made a quick  run to the cafe on the corner and bought you some breakfast as a thank you for the help last night! 
Have a good day, angel
A smile creeps up on your lips as you read the note. Curiosity washes over you and you open the small brown bag, to find a bun and a chocolate muffin waiting for you. You look at the iced coffee, still cold with ice slowly melting, indicating he didn’t leave a long time ago. 
Once again, you feel a warmth in your body, and you slowly allow the caged butterflies to escape. 
***
New week, same school day, same seat. Nothing feels different when you sit in your classroom, on Monday morning, waiting for the day to start. You’ve gathered the things you need for the first class, writing some notes in your notebook when you feel a presence looking at you.
“Hi...” Your best friend says, looking guilty. 
You haven’t spoken to her since she left you at the party, and you would lie if you said you weren’t a little disappointed in her for ditching you the way she did.
You simply give her a cold smile and look back down at your notes. She knows you well, and you’re not furious with her - she knows that. It takes a lot for you to get actually angry at people, but she deserved the cold shoulder for a bit
“I’m so sorry for disappearing at the party,” She sits down on the chair next to you. “Really, that was so shitty of me.”
“Yes, it was.”
“I promise it won’t happen again.” Her whole body is turned towards you as you are silently giving her the side-eye, but as mad as you try to be, you can’t. You genuinely want to show her how disappointed you are, but if she hadn’t left you at the party, you wouldn’t have spoken to Seonghwa in the first place. Her crush. So not saying you’re happy she left you, but you definitely see the positive in this situation, which in this case happens to be a dark-haired boy with a busted lip. 
“Hm..” You respond, looking back in your notes. 
You feel her eyes on you for a moment, before she leans forward and whispers in your ear.
“Mingi and I really had fun though, he’s so sweet.” The smile is evident in her voice, and you finally turn your head to look at her.
“Well, I’m glad ditching me had its benefits.” Your words seem to finally get her to understand the situation, and she takes a moment to read your eyes and feel the disappointment.
“I’m sorry.. Really.” Her voice softens, filled with genuine guilt and you send her a broken smile.
“It’s fine.”
You both exchange warm looks before she unpacks and you both silently decide to move on.
“Did you have fun at the party, though? Did you talk to anyone?” She asks, back to normal like nothing happened. 
You freeze for a moment, deciding if you should lie or tell the truth. You still hadn’t decided if you should ever tell her that you had her crush staying over at your place and that he happened to be your knight in shining armor. You know she’s been crushing on a few guys from school, some more than others, but you also know that Seonghwa is one of her favorites. Multiple times, she has opened up about how bad she wants him and that he’s, quote on quote; “Made for her”. If you tell her the situation, you’re scared she’ll get mad at you for breaking the girl code. 
Your friend’s crush is off limits.
You know you haven’t done anything wrong, and nothing happened between you and Seonghwa, so you decide there's no need for her to know about anything.
“I talked to a few here and there.” Is all you say about the situation.
“How did you get home? Did you take a cab by yourself? I hope it wasn’t too expensive.” 
Once again, you take a moment to figure out what to answer, without saying her crush actually paid for the shared ride home to your apartment.
“I shared a cap with someone who was going the same way as me.” You respond, hoping she won’t ask further, but you quickly notice she’s barely listening.
“He’s so fucking hot...” She mumbles, and your eyes search for whoever her gaze is locked on, but you quickly realize when you see who enters the room. 
Seonghwa is walking into the classroom with his bag hanging on his shoulder and messy black wavy hair. He’s wearing a shaded blue denim jacket with a white tee underneath and black loose jeans. He looks so put together, even if he isn’t even trying, and for the first time since you started school, you’ve become one of those girls who stare at him when he enters the class. 
You expect him to sit at his usual seat on the other side of the room, but he confidently walks past it and towards your side. This catches your attention even more, leaving you and your best friend in awe as you see him walk closer to you. 
Seonghwa finds a seat a few seats in front of you, and as he swings the bag of his shoulder, his eyes meet yours. 
They’re warm and he locks his gaze on you while a smile creeps up on his lips. You can’t help but smile back like you’re both silently saying hello to each other through your eyes. This is the first time you’ve made eye contact with Seonghwa in class, and you can’t seem to look away while he smiles at you. 
But trying not to be too obvious, you force yourself to look away before he sits down, and your gaze goes to the notebook in front of you.
“Did you see that?” You hear your best friend say.
“What?”
“He smiled at me.” Your eyes shoot to her, confused to see her stare at Seonghwa who now sits down in his seat, back facing you. Not being able to open your mouth and tell her that he was actually smiling at you, you bite your words and start scribbling on your notebook.
“Oh.. I didn’t see.”
“Did you hear he got into a fight at the party?” She leans towards you, ready to start gossiping. 
A fight. The party. Daniel.
In panic, you shake your head and pretend you didn’t witness it, front row.
“Shit, I hoped you had seen it so you could tell me the details. But people say it was about a girl.” 
“What?”
People? Are people talking? About you? And Seonghwa?
“I know, that’s what I said. A girl was with him when it happened but they apparently left right after. They don’t know who she is, probably just someone’s plus one.” She shrugs and starts scribbling something in her own notebook.
You feel horrible knowing the exact situation, and not being able to tell your best friend the details. But one of the reasons you also hated these parties was the drama. The newest gossip after a spicy weekend. People always had something to say, and you didn’t want to be the next hot topic.
“What about you and Mingi, though? You’re gonna start seeing him?” You look at her, trying to change the subject. It seems to work because your best friend just shrugs as she looks unbothered by the whole situation. 
“Nah, you know how I am. I’m not looking for anything serious, I like to have my options open.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, and Seonghwa's words replay in your mind. 
Maybe, you find someone interesting, take them to an empty room, and you fuck each other. Then you walk out of there and don’t talk until the next party, where you fuck again. These people want to feel love, but they don’t actually want it.
It leaves another taste in your mouth when you know how Seonghwa has opened up to you about how he feels, about going to these parties. 
But I also started to feel used. Like I wasn’t more than a good fuck to them.
You had a certain respect for your best friend for doing whatever she wanted, but you also found Seonghwa’s feelings valid. There had to be a downside to the popularity and girls wanting to sleep with you without attachments. 
Your thoughts about Saturday's events are slowly replaced when class starts, and the focus is on the teacher in front of the whiteboard. Class goes by rather quickly, and students then leave the classroom to go to the next one. Having to exchange the books for the new class, you make your way to your locker, after agreeing to meet your best friend at the classroom.
You’re in your own world when a tall frame suddenly stands beside you. 
“Hey.” Seonghwa’s warm voice slightly surprises you. This is the first time you’ve spoken in school, and somehow, it almost feels illegal.
“Oh... Hi.”
“I just wanted to apologize for disappearing yesterday without saying goodbye. I just didn’t want to wake you up.” You can see the clear guilt in his eyes, and you immediately shake your head as you grab the new books from your locker. 
“Don’t worry about it, It’s totally fine. I appreciated the breakfast though.” 
He somehow seems taller today, looking down at you. His sharp features look as perfect as they did on Saturday, his eyes looking like the entire universe could fit into them. 
“Yeah, I thought I had to thank you in some way for letting me stay the night. And for taking care of my lip.” 
You notice the dark mark on his lip as he talks, the wound already healing. 
“I think my frozen peas did most of the work, but you’re welcome. Does it hurt?” You still can’t help but feel a little guilty for him getting punched in the face, but you’re glad to see it heal this fast.
“No, it’s only a bit bruised, but I’ll be as good as new in a few days. Will I see you at the party on Friday?” He relaxes with his hands in his pockets as he leans up against the lockers.
You realize again how he has this typical popular-boy-charm. He looks cool and could make anyone believe he could have the world in his hands if he wanted to. 
“Uhm.. I don’t usually party multiple weekends in a row.”
“I know, that’s why I’m asking.”
He’s quick with his words, and he doesn’t hide the smirk on his bruised lip as he smiles at you. You take a moment to think.
“I have to work, so I can’t.” You excuse, while actually telling the truth. 
“Oh, where do you work?” A small wrinkle forms between his brows.
“At the mall, I have a closing shift... But I hope you’ll have fun at the party though. As much as I appreciate you keeping me company last Saturday, I think it’s good you get to spend time with your friends instead of taking care of me, who apparently doesn’t know how to take care of myself.” You laugh at yourself, trying to make light of the situation, and before Seonghwa can answer, someone snatches his attention. 
“Hwa!” Seonghwa’s friend group all stare at the two of you talking, some of them indicating him to come as they are headed to class. 
“l have to go.. I’ll see you around?” He slowly backs away and doesn’t turn around until you nod and he sends a smile in your direction, as he runs after his friends.
***
Another sigh leaves you as you look away from the words written in your book. You don't know how long your eyes have been going over the same sentence, trying to get the words to stick to your brain, but it’s simply impossible at this point. 
Your eyes travel around the library from your seat, looking at the multiple other students here to expand their knowledge. The old books decorating the walls around you help with concentration, almost as if you feel bad for not studying while they’re watching. 
You take off your headphones, needing a break from studying when a conversation from the other side of the shelf steals your focus. 
“Girl, come on. Are you really surprised at this point? Have you seen him?.” A female voice says. 
“Right, I hooked up with him once and I swear I couldn’t walk normally for days.” Another voice says. 
The typical drama flooding around wasn’t new, especially not in the library. People seem to think it's the perfect place to sit in silence and gossip, clearly not aware that everyone else hears the conversation as well. You weren’t in the mood to hear someone talk like this about someone else, and you had been studying for a few hours already. Deciding this is your cue to leave, you start to pack your things while the gossiping continues on the other side. 
“Am I right? Who would’ve thought that nice personality held back a demon in Seonghwa.“
You immediately freeze when you hear Seonghwa’s name in the conversation. Were they talking about him?
“For real! Without a doubt the best guy I've been with. I mean have you seen his hands?” 
Your thoughts immediately go to the thought of Seonghwa’s hands, how his hand covered yours when holding the bag of peas on his lip. How big they were, slender fingers making everything he does look so elegant.
Feeling a weird sensation in your stomach from this information, you decide to speed up and get out of the library before you hear another word. 
The heat in your cheeks turns into a light shade of pink as you step outside, deciding to make your way home. In need of fresh air, you let your legs guide you toward your apartment complex.
Overhearing those girls’ conversation about Seonghwa left you with thoughts you didn’t know existed in your mind. Seonghwa had been nothing but nice to you since the party, and of course, you agreed that he was beyond handsome. But after hearing what they had to say about him, only enhanced the number of thoughts about him.
I hooked up with him once and I swear I couldn’t walk normally for days.
Shaking the thoughts out of your head, you decide to walk the rest of the way home, in desperate need of fresh air.
***
You didn’t think a week could go this slow. School was as boring as ever, and every day looked the same. Except, the new ‘same’ was that Seongwha and you had small interactions during the week. A smile here and there, a wave when seeing each other, and small talk by the lockers. 
You had a feeling that Seonghwa knew you didn’t want your best friend to ask you about your growing friendship with him, so he only came to talk whenever you were alone. It wasn’t that you were trying to hide the fact that you and Seonghwa were slowly becoming friends, but you knew she would question you if she knew. She would ask questions about every single thing about him, all in hopes that you would help her hook up with him, and you simply weren't interested in that.
Seonghwa was becoming a friend of yours, a friendship you never expected to happen, but you didn’t mind it in the slightest. 
But that doesn't mean your mind hasn’t drifted to the conversation you overheard in the library. 
When talking to Seonghwa, you’ve caught yourself looking awfully much at his hands. Or when he was sitting in class, you’d admire him a little more than you’d like to admit. 
You didn’t think it meant anything, but you definitely didn’t plan on sharing those thoughts with anyone either.
It’s finally Friday, and you’re closing off at your closing shift. The mall closed at eight, but you had to make sure everything was ready for the morning shift, so you walked out around 8:30. Not having anything to do after work, you took your sweet time finishing up. Your fingers tapped your phone screen, trying to find the perfect song in your headphones as you made your way out of the mall and towards the bus stop. The chilly late summer night air hit you as you stepped outside, finally finding a song you’re satisfied with. 
You look up but immediately stop in your tracks. 
On a bench, outside the mall in front of the parking lot, Seonghwa is sitting by himself, fiddling with his fingers. There’s not a single person in sight, making Seonghwa stand out. Your brows shoot together in confusion as you watch him. He’s in his own world and you slowly make your way towards him. 
The sound of your feet against the concrete makes his head shoot up and his gaze direct at you. A smile tugs on his lips, and he lifts his hand to send you a wave.
“What are you doing here?” You ask him, stopping a few meters away from him.
“I’m waiting for you to get off work.” He stands up from the bench before taking a few steps towards you.
You notice how the scrape on his lip is practically gone already.
“I thought you were going to the party.”
“I was. Was there for 10 minutes, realized it was boring as hell, drove home, and waited for the mall to close so I could pick you up.” He makes it sound like it was the most normal thing for him to do.
“You really didn’t have to.”
“I know,” Seonghwa sends you a smile and starts walking towards his black car, parked only a few meters away. “Come on, just accept my offer and let me give you a ride home, it’s late and it’s dark,” He opens the door to the passenger seat and looks at you, frozen in your place. “I won’t bite, I promise.”
You eventually get in his car, and he’s quick to get in the driver’s seat. You immediately notice the car is neat, and clean and smells like Seonghwa. He turns on the car and starts driving towards the parking lot exit.
“Have you eaten?” He asks, eyes still on the road.
“I had a snack.”
“A snack? Come on, a snack won’t do it.” He drives onto the main road, in the direction of your apartment.
“I’ll eat when I get home.” You roll your eyes at him teasingly.
“I know a good place, I hope you’re up for trying for the best milkshake in your life.” He makes a u-turn and you’re suddenly headed towards an unknown location. 
“Seonghwa.” You look at him, a hint of seriousness in your voice. It isn’t that you have anything better to do, but you aren’t mentally prepared to hang out with him. You don’t feel like you look your best, and you don’t want to steal his time.
“What?” He flickers his gaze from you to the road. His boba-looking black eyes meet yours for a second before looking straight ahead, and when you quickly notice the glimpse in them, it’s like you can’t say no to him. He looks so full of excitement, that you swallow your words and send him a smile.
“Nothing.”
Seonghwa drove you both to a diner, a little outside of town. You’ve never been here before, but the neon sign and the old-school 60’s aesthetic left an evident impression on you. Seonghwa opens the door for you, and you’re immediately hit with the feeling that you just stepped into the movie 'Grease'. 
You’re met with black and white checkered floor, red booths, and a jukebox in the corner. Seonghwa’s excitement is through the roof as he guides you towards one of the booths further down the diner, with his hand on the small of your back.
You try your best not to pay too much attention to how his touch makes you feel, and quickly focus on something else. You sit down across from each other, the two of you being the only ones there, except the elderly gentleman in the corner, reading a paper. 
You’re reading the menu when a waitress comes over, and you immediately notice the way she looks at Seonghwa.
“Hi, welcome.” Her flirtatious voice speaks. She has bright red lips, a dress that covers just the top of her thigh, and an apron tied around her waist, making her curves more visible. 
“Hi.” Seonghwa smiles, taking his focus from the menu to the waitress.
“What can I get for you?” 
“Can I have the medium cheeseburger menu, please?” Seonghwa asks as he points to the menu. 
“Of course.” She responds as she writes down his order on her notepad. You wait until it’s your turn to order, but as silence surrounds you and you notice how she’s just staring at you, you come to your senses. 
“Uhm.. I’ll just have the small fry menu, thank you.” 
She writes down your order in silence, and you feel awkward, sitting across Seonghwa as this waitress barely notices you.
“Would you like,” The waitress looks Seonghwa up and down. “Anything else?”
A part of you wants to laugh at the scene playing in front of your eyes, watching Seonghwa and this waitress flirt with each other. Seonghwa scans the menu card like he doesn’t know it front to back.
“Do you still have the chocolate milkshake with the drizzle and strawberries on top?” He asks, looking up at the waitress.
“No, we don’t actually..” She shakes her head for a second but takes a short moment to think before speaking up again. “Not officially, at least, but I can make it for you anyway? It’ll be our secret.” She bites her bottom lip and for some reason, you have to fight everything in you not to roll your eyes and scoff. 
“Really? That would be amazing.” Seonghwa responds, handing her your menus.
“Anytime.. Let me know if I can help you with anything else. Can I ask what your name is?”
“I’m Seonghwa.”
“I’ll be right back with your milkshake, Seonghwa.” She sends her last smile before disappearing into the kitchen. Seonghwa looks at you satisfied, not realizing how his conversation looked to everyone but him and the waitress.
“I see why you like coming here.” You say.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” You mumble and look away, out the window. There’s a huge neon sign with the diner’s logo on the parking lot, shining through the windows. The low music from the jukebox is playing 60’s instrumentals, making sure to give the customers the full diner experience. 
“Because she flirted with me?” You look at him to see his smirk. He’s staring intensely at you, slightly enjoying seeing the way you try to avoid his eyes. You respond with a nod and a “mhm.”
“Did I flirt back?” He asks, squinting his eyes at you. There’s a small hint of jealousy in your stomach as you talk about this, him talking with this girl who’s obviously very into him, but you obviously don’t let that side of you out. 
“I don’t know how you are when you flirt.” You shrug. 
“Are you sure?” lifting an eyebrow at you. You want to say yes, but the way he’s looking at you, makes you doubt everything you know. Your silence is enough of an answer for Seonghwa, and he rolls his eyes. “To answer my own question; no, I didn’t flirt with her. I’m surprised you couldn’t tell.” 
“I haven’t known you for long, how should I know?” You almost want to laugh at how ridiculous this conversation seems.
“You don’t have to know me for long to know.” His words shut you up, and you stare at him, sitting confidently on the other side of the booth. The way he’s in some blatantly obvious way flirting with you, somehow makes you doubt everything. It’s like you can’t wrap your head around the fact that he’s so forward with his words. You don’t get to say more before the waitress comes back and places a chocolate milkshake on the table. 
“Here’s your milkshake, Seonghwa. Your food will be ready in 10 minutes, let me know if I can do anything else for you.” She sends him a warm smile again, not once acknowledging your presence. 
“Thank you,” He smiles back at her when she walks away, and immediately leans over the table to lower his voice as he speaks. “I didn’t even know she worked here. I’m usually assisted by my friend Barbara, running on her 68th year. The reason why I like coming here is because of this heavenly milkshake I just ordered for us. They only have it once in a while, but if you’re with me, you can get it all the time.” He leans back in the booth, looking more confident than ever.
“Must be nice having pretty privilege when it comes to milkshakes.” You tease, and he looks up at you, trying to hide his laugh.
“I don’t know what I think about your cocky attitude when I’m taking you out to dinner and picking you up from work.”
“I didn’t ask you to do either of those things.”
“No, you didn’t. And yet you still claim you don’t know how I flirt,” He pushes the milkshake closer to you, as you stare at him, not knowing how to react to his words. “Here, try it. Try it and tell me it’s not the best thing you’ve ever tasted on your tongue.”
You squint your eyes at him, before dragging the chocolate milkshake closer to you. It’s tall, has the perfect color of a chocolate milkshake, has a mix of different drizzles, and has three bright red strawberries decorated on top. You lean forward to take a sip from the straw, and an overwhelming flavor bursts in your mouth.
“Oh, it’s good.” You admit.
“I know, right? All thanks to my pretty privilege.”
You and Seonghwa spend more time at the diner than you thought you would, talking about everything and nothing. During the hours across from each other in the red booth, you ended up realizing that this was the best way you could spend the night.
You were now in the car on the way home, and summer rain had started pouring against the windows. Pools of water decorate the streets, mirroring the light from the street lamps.
“So,” You start, looking at Seonghwa from the passenger seat. “You’re giving parties a new chance tomorrow?” You’re not searching for a specific answer, but after he opened up to you last weekend, you’re curious about him going to the parties.
“I’m not sure. The guys and I are talking about having a small get-together, just the few of us. You should come, bring your friend too.” He says, looking relaxed as he drives you home. 
“I don’t know.. These social things still intimidate me.” You don’t see yourself going to any of these parties for a while. 
“It’s more lowkey than the parties, I swear.” He sends you a smile and hands you his phone from the center console. “Put your number in my phone, I’ll text you the details if you decide to come.” 
You slowly grab his phone from his hand, surprised by how relaxed he seems. It’s already unlocked, and you’re about to make a new contact when his phone suddenly rings. The caller ID is a girl's name, and you freeze, not knowing what to do.
“Oh.. Someone’s calling.” You say, showing Seonghwa the screen.
“Just press ignore.” He answers quickly.
“Are you sure?”
He nods as he keeps his focus on the road, driving through the puddles on the road. You continue where you left off, adding your number, but the girl’s name appears on the screen again as another call goes in. 
The fact that a girl is calling him, shortly throws you off. It’s probably not new for him to have girls hit him up constantly, but it makes you feel awkward.
Seonghwa notices how you freeze with the phone in your hands. The car stops at a red light, and you hand him the phone while it’s still calling. You try not to snoop too much, but you can’t help but watch from the side of your eye, what he does. He ignores the call again, goes to the girl’s contact, and blocks the number, before handing you the phone again. 
“There.” He says.
You finish adding your number to his contacts, saving it under your name, just as another call goes in. This time from Wooyoung, as the screen reads.
“Now Wooyoung is calling.” You show Seonghwa the screen and he makes an annoyed sound.
“You gotta be kidding me..” He gently grabs the phone from your hand, answers the call, and puts it on speaker before placing the phone on the center console. “What?” He asks into the phone.
“Where the fuck are you?” Wooyoung’s voice almost sounds panicked.
“I left.”
“What? Bro, you need to come back. ‘You know who’ keeps asking for you and I’m about to lose my fucking mind.” Wooyoung explains, but Seonghwa’s face doesn’t show a care in the world, as the light turns green.
“Not my problem, I’m not coming back.”
“Why? Where are you?” Wooyoung’s question hangs in the air for a moment before Seonghwa sighs deeply.
“At your mom's, see you tomorrow.”
“WHAT DO YOU-” Wooyoung’s voice is cut short when Seonghwa ends the call. The childish behavior they seem to have makes you hold back a laugh. You haven’t spoken to Wooyoung before, only knowing him as one of the popular guys, but what you’ve gathered about him so far, really sums up a chaotic personality.
“And that’s how you deal with that. Did you put your number in?” Seonghwa asks, glancing at you as he holds out his phone with a smile. It's dark outside, but his teeth still shine so brightly when he’s smiling. His entire face lights up when he smiles, making the darkness brighter.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” 
The drive home is quick from that point on, and Seonghwa offers to follow you to the door but to save him from getting drenched, you convince him not to. You’re quick to run inside to hide yourself from the rain, managing to get inside without getting soaked. 
In your own world, you get ready to sleep. It’s gotten late, and you’re exhausted from school, work, and late dinner with Seonghwa.
You get under your covers, ready to lay with your phone for a while before actually getting some sleep when your lips curl into a smile from a received text.  
Unknown Goodnight, Angel
It takes you no time to figure out who sent the message, and you reply as the butterflies slowly spread throughout your body.
You Goodnight, Hwa
***
You have no idea what you’re doing. You promised yourself a relaxed weekend, without any parties or anything close to it, and you kept that promise for the most part! You had initially texted Seonghwa that you wouldn’t come to the get-together, but thanked him for inviting you.
Partially because telling your friend that Seonghwa invited you, would indicate you and Seonghwa had contact, and you weren’t ready for that conversation with your best friend yet. But you didn’t expect your best friend to hit you up Saturday evening, inviting you to a small get-together at Mingi’s place. 
After she sent you the information, you immediately realized it was the same information Seonghwa had given you. This changed something, the fear of missing out suddenly hit you. Therefore, at the last second, you decided to accept your best friend's offer and join her at Mingi’s, but promising yourself not to drink too much. 
“Come on in!” Mingi says as he opens the door further. When stepping through the front door, you hear music and voices from further into the apartment. Mingi’s apartment is bigger than you thought, as you expected a small dorm, but are instead met with a rather big apartment. The decor is very minimal, the most he’s done is plastering a few posters up here and there. You feel a flip in your stomach at the thought of seeing Seonghwa in a few seconds but you quickly push the thought away when your best friend grabs your arm and drags you into the living room.
You’re met with four guys sitting in the living room, and your eyes immediately notice Seonghwa. He’s leaning back on the couch, a slight tug on his lips from listening to the conversation before him, and in a black hoodie with baggy jeans.
His eyes travel to you, a flash of something apparent in them for a second and slight confusion written on his face. The confusion is quickly replaced by a smile spreading on his lips, probably still a little confused by seeing you since you texted him you weren’t coming. 
You feel his eyes on you as you look around to see the other guys, San sharing the couch with Seonghwa and Wooyoung sitting by Seonghwa’s legs on the floor. Mingi sits down on the floor as well, inviting you and your best friend to get comfortable too.
“Do you guys wanna sit on the couch?” San asks, about to get up, but your best friend quickly speaks up.
“No, that’s fine!” She sits down next to Mingi (shocking, you think), and you join her on the other side of on floor. You knew she and Mingi hooked up last weekend.
And you couldn’t help but hope she would leave her attention on him and forget about Seonghwa for the night.
You try not to make it too obvious how bad your eyes want to go to Seonghwa, but you eventually succumb and look at him, surprised to see him with his gaze already locked on you. 
You haven’t heard him say a word yet, yet you know everything his gaze is saying.
You came anyways? 
You shrug with a smile, and look away, trying not to make the heat in your cheeks too apparent. 
Alcohol is gathered in the middle of the circle, San opens a six-pack of beers before handing a can to Seonghwa, but Wooyoung is quick to snatch it.
“Seonghwa is not drinking tonight, he’s being a bore.” He says, cracking open the beer before taking a sip. He almost spills as Seonghwa kicks him in the back, wiping the beer away from his chin.
“If I wasn’t a bore, you wouldn’t be sipping on those beers. I had to drive to a place 25 minutes away because you forgot to buy some.” Seonghwa shakes his head, slightly annoyed with the younger.
“You’re right, thanks mommy.” Wooyoung sends Seonghwa a loving smile, but Seongwha only responds by rolling his eyes. 
The decision you’ve made not to get too drunk seems like a good idea as the night escalates and more beers are opened. The volume in the group gets louder as more alcohol is consumed and laughs are shared over silly topics. This all eventually ended with the group deciding to play various drinking games, which you silently participated in. 
It was obvious that you were the newest addition to the group, not knowing them all very well. And that really showed when they decided to play ‘who’s most likely to’. An explicit version, at that.
“Who’s most likely to sleep with a teacher?” Mingi asks, looking around at everyone before starting the countdown. “3..2..1..”
There's silence as everyone, besides you, points around, and everyone points at San. The man looks down looking embarrassed, even pointing at himself.
“She was 27 at the time. Only 6 years older than me, it isn’t that big of a deal.” San explains before taking a sip of his beer.
“She was still a teacher.” Wooyoung comments.
“Substitute. The key word is substitute.” San eyes Wooyoung who only starts a small discussion about the situation, leaving you to observe the two. A smile creeps up on your lips at the conversation before you, but you can't help but look at the person directly across from you, meeting Seonghwa’s eyes again. 
Looking at him was like excluding the rest of the world for a moment. His lips curled into a subtle smile, only keeping his focus on you and ignoring the bickering from his two friends. Hoping no one notices the way you look at each other, you look away, taking a sip from your first beer. 
The game eventually moves on, San having to pick the next ‘most likely to’.
“Who’s most likely to be the best fuck?” He asks, a smile creeping up on his lips as he gets ready to count down. “3..2..1..” 
The majority of fingers point at Seonghwa, him sitting relaxed on the couch, only watching the game unfold. There’s a short silence around the group before Wooyoung speaks up.
“There’s a reason why at least 5 girls flirt with him at every party. They all want a piece of that Seongwhanger.” 
“Don’t ever call it that.” Seonghwa snaps, looking at his friend by his legs.
“Am I wrong though?” Wooyoung laughs.
You only watch as the others add to the conversation while you drift into your own thoughts. You’re reminded of the conversation you overheard in the library, those girls talking about their encounters with Seonghwa in the.. bedroom.
Having Seonghwa’s best friends knowing about his abilities when it comes to sex, as well as those random girls, would mean it must be a thing people knew. Somehow, you had just missed that information. 
“I’m intrigued.. Why do you guys think Seonghwa is most likely?” Your best friend asks, looking around at the guys. 
“If you knew the screams I’ve heard from the girls he’s fucked. That alone tells me everything I need to know.” Wooyoung answered.
You suddenly enter a topic you had not prepared yourself for, and that results in you feeling restless. The thought of Seonghwa fucking hard, has your mind playing a dangerous game with you. You don’t know where to look, where to keep your hands, how to breathe. 
Whenever your eyes landed on Seonghwa, all you saw was him. 
Naked. On top of you.
“I spoke to a girl he fucked once. She told me she saw heaven and hell at the same time.” San adds.
“Guys..” Seonghwa tries to stop the conversation, or at least make it less explicit, but the others don't seem to follow along. 
“Come on, Hwa. It isn’t something to be embarrassed about, own it!” Wooyoung hits Seonghwa’s leg in an accepting manner.
“I am, but in respect for the girls... Let’s not.”
Wooyoung clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shaking his head. “You know how they brag about it, they want to be talked about after. They all wanna be a part of the Seongweenie club”
“Stop!” Seonghwa’s eyes grow big at Wooyoung’s constant name-calling.
Your best friend laughs next to you, enjoying this conversation more than anyone else. You try to look at Seonghwa again, but when his eyes meet yours, you instantly look away. It’s like you can’t look at him and not have your thoughts stray to less innocent territories. You finish your beer, feeling slightly grateful for the way it leaves you feeling.
“You guys are embarrassing, why do you know these things about each other?” Your best friend asks as her laugh dies down, curious about this conversation. San looks at her, scooting away from Seonghwa on the couch so he can speak at a lower volume like Seonghwa wouldn’t hear him.
“Because at this point, it’s common knowledge. I don’t want it to sound weird, but I’ve heard a lot from the girls he's been with. The things this man does,” San points over his shoulder at Seonghwa. “Don’t let his nice persona fool you guys.”
“The thing is, Seonghwa is just way too humble about it.” Mingi adds, shrugging. 
Your eyes quickly travel to Seonghwa, looking defeated, before Wooyoung steals your focus as he stands up. 
“I’m just surprised you’re not bragging about it more. If I were you, I would be telling everyone about my Shlonghwa.” 
Wooyoung barely finishes his sentence before Seonghwa runs after Wooyoung out of the living room and they disappear in the hallway. All you hear is Wooyoung's muffled laugh, as you hear him run, and you finally take a moment to breathe, now that Seonghwa isn’t in your eyesight. 
Another topic is suddenly going on amongst the rest of you, but you can’t seem to move on from the information you just got. 
She told me she saw heaven and hell at the same time.
Your brain keeps going over and over the words from Seonghwa’s friends. You didn’t expect to ever hear these things about him, and it honestly shocks you a bit. You knew he was popular amongst the girls, but you thought it came from how nice he was (as well as incredibly handsome). But now, knowing many of them want to sleep with him because, like Wooyoung said, “they brag about it, they want to be talked about after”, only adds to your thoughts. 
The conversation you shared with Seonghwa after the last party, suddenly made even more sense to you. Even Seonghwa’s friends knew how many girls were wondering how it would be to sleep with him. 
And so you feel an incredible guilt for wondering the same.
How his hands would run down your body, lips tracing kisses all over you as he has his way with you.
“I’ll be right back.” Your best friend wakes you from your thoughts before she disappears into the hallway. Wanting to remove the thoughts about Seonghwa from your brain, you try to focus on the conversation between San and Mingi, but it doesn’t help at all. 
Shaking the empty can of beer, you are in desperate need of something to help with your dry mouth. You excuse yourself as you stand up, decide to get some water instead of beer, and make your way to the kitchen. 
You manage to find the kitchen without any help, but your body immediately backtracks when you see who’s in there, and you hide behind the wall before they see you. Your best friend is laughing as she jokingly hits Seonghwa on the chest. His smile grows on his face before continuing whatever conversation they were having. 
Not wanting to snoop or hear your best friend flirt with Seonghwa, you quickly make your way back to the living room. Your hands reach for another beer, and you take a huge sip of it to quench your thirst and with a small mission to forget what you just saw in the kitchen. 
You didn’t like Seonghwa. Of course not, right? He was just becoming a good friend, and your best friend has been crushing on Seonghwa for almost a year. If she managed to finally get him, that would be great! You’d be happy for her. 
On the outside.
But on the inside, you’d be less excited. 
You hate admitting it, but Seonghwa has been running in your mind 24/7 ever since the party. You finally understood why your best friend was into him. Why every girl was into him. You’d be blind if you didn’t see how perfect he was, how kind, thoughtful, and funny he is. And that’s just Seonghwa. That is how he is. And he’s much more than that.
Needing a moment for yourself, you manage to find the bathroom to breathe. This get-together was turning into something you didn’t expect. How can you feel so many emotions all at once? Seonghwa was already living in your mind rent-free, and now that his friends suddenly exposed how his intimate side is, you have no space in your brain left. 
You look at yourself in the mirror, and you’re immediately reminded of San’s words.
The things this man does... don’t let his nice persona fool you guys.
Your mind once again goes to forbidden places. How he looked that night of the party. How his messy hair would be even messier after you would run your fingers through it. How it would fall down in his face while he’s being on top of you. Sweat starting to form on his forehead. His deep voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Skin against skin as he fastens the speed.
Cursing at yourself at the thoughts, you decide being alone isn’t helping. At this point, Seonghwa is tattooed in your mind and there’s nothing you can do about it. 
You open the door and step into the hallway, when you’re suddenly standing in front of the man in your mind.
“Hey, angel.” Seonghwa stops in his tracks, sharing his first words with you for the night. 
“Hi.” You nearly whisper. 
Your focus is turned to Wooyoung, who has to pass the two of you in the hallway, and you notice the way Seonghwa sends him a glare. Wooyoung laughs as he quickly sprints past Seonghwa, afraid that Seonghwa will reach out for him. He disappears into the living room, leaving you and Seonghwa alone in the hallway.
“He’s annoying, you’ll get used to it.” Seonghwa’s eyes meet yours again. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” 
Trying not to focus too much on the thoughts in your brain, involving Seonghwa in a less innocent setting, you do your best to act normal.
“I guess FOMO got the best of me.” You shrug, starting to play with the sleeves of your shirt.
“I’m glad you came,” His eyes curl as he sends you a smile, and your mouth starts to dry again. You shift your gaze away from him, not being able to look him in the eyes for too long. “You want a ride home later?”
Your eyes flicker for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.
“Oh, uhm.. I don’t know, I have to talk to my friend and ask her if we’re sharing a cap.”
“You’re not. She’s staying here.” He responds rather quickly, leaving you slightly confused.
“How do you know?”
“The way Mingi is looking at her... I know.” He can’t seem to hide the smirk on his lips. He seems confident as he rests his hands in the pockets of his loose jeans, but you’re not convinced.
“But maybe she would like to stay with you tonight?” Your words make his brows shoot together. “She’s been talking about you for a long time, you know.” You look away from him again, eyes focused on your fingers playing with the ends of your sleeves.
“Still trying to wingman me with your friend?” You can hear the smirk on his lips.
“She likes you.” Is the only thing you say, leaving a silence between you and Seonghwa. He scoffs shortly, pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he smirks.
“I’ll drive you home later.” He says.
“You don’t-”
“Have to, I know. At this point, just accept it.” He sends you a smile before making his way back into the living room. Like a duckling to its mother, you follow behind him, him leading the way. The rest of the group is already back in the circle, and you quietly sit down while Seonghwa takes his seat back on the couch, making sure to whack Wooyoung on the back of the head first. 
The rest of the night, you’re quietly sipping on your second beer, not wanting alcohol to get too involved in the way you’re thinking. The rest of the group decided to continue various games and explicit conversation topics, thankfully leaving Seonghwa’s name out of most of them. 
You notice his gaze on you multiple times, but you immediately avert your eyes, not being able to look into his piercing ones. A part of you couldn’t wait to get home, but the fact that Seonghwa had insisted on driving you home, made your heart pound faster against your chest. The thought of being alone with him seemed dangerous, afraid you’d do something you would regret.
The get-together eventually came to an end, and just like Seonghwa had predicted, your best friend decided to stay at Mingi’s place. 
The door to the driver's seat closed, and Seonghwa put on his seatbelt before turning on the car.
“Ready?” He asks, looking at you.
“Mhm..” You nod, looking at your hands resting in your lap. Seonghwa keeps his gaze on you for a moment, trying his best to read you to the best of his abilities. 
“You’re awfully quiet tonight. Something going on in that pretty head of yours?” His words make your stomach flip, but you push the feeling away as quickly as you can.
“No.. Just tired, I guess.” You try sending him a smile, thankful for the dimmed light surrounding you, making it harder to see his handsome features.
Seonghwa tries to ignore the feeling he gets when he can tell that you are obviously lying to him. He turns on the car and drives off to your apartment complex. The quiet music plays in the background, making the silence between you less noticeable.
Your eyes follow the trees and street lamps as you drive by, intentionally keeping your gaze in the other direction from Seonghwa. A small tapping sound following the music catches your attention, and you look down at the gearshift to see Seonghwa’s fingers around the shift. Their tapping follows the beat of the song on the radio, momentarily hypnotizing you. 
The car stops at a red light, and you find yourself not being able to take your eyes off his hands. You realize how pretty his hands are, even in the dimmed light. He’s wearing a silver ring around one of his long slender fingers, the veins in his hands more evident as he taps along to the song. They curl prettily around the gearshift, having your mind wander to places they shouldn’t.
What you don’t notice is Seonghwa’s focus on you. A smirk creeps up on his lips when he realizes how his fingers have you in a trance, wondering what suddenly made you so focused on his hands. 
As you catch yourself in the trance, you look away from his figers and out the window on your side. 
You’re too deep in your own thoughts to notice Seonghwa lean closer to you and reach out his arm at you. A sudden grip on your chin forces you to look at him, and you see him smirk with the red light from the stoplight decorating his face.
“What?” You ask to the best ability, still with his hand holding your face. He takes a moment to study your face, not saying a single word. A tiny crease forms in the middle of your forehead, waiting for him to say something. His smile only widens a bit, not letting you know what he’s thinking.
“Angel face..” He says softly as the light turns green and he lets go of your face before taking off. 
The rest of the way to your apartment is silent, except for the radio music and Seonghwa’s fingers tapping along. You finally see your apartment complex, and Seonghwa parks his car in the parking lot. Today, he follows you out of the car and towards your building. You’re a few steps ahead, not knowing what to say without accidentally saying something stupid. 
Your mind is playing games with you, but you decide not to let this awkwardness control you anymore. What would be appropriate to talk about after the information you’ve gotten about him today? Do you even need to talk about it? You’re friends, so it wouldn’t be weird to ask him to stay over again, would it?
You take a few steps up to the main entrance, holding onto the railing, when you finally open your mouth.
“Seonghwa?” You turn around on the stairs, looking at him a few steps under you. Seonghwa’s big eyes look up at you, looking innocent and pure.
“What's up?”
You lose all of your bravery and immediately decide to abort the mission. 
“Nothing,” You say, quickly moving on. “Thank you for driving me home. Goodnight.” You turn around again, about to head up the stairs to the entrance to your building when Seonghwa’s voice makes you halt.
“Wait.. Is everything good?” There’s a concern evident in his voice, and you send him a smile as you look down at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
He takes a moment to look at you a few steps up on the staircase, before taking a deep breath.
“Are we gonna address the situation or are you just gonna stay silent?” 
His words hit you like the fall from a roller coaster, making your stomach turn.
“Situation?” You ask. 
“How your behavior changed when we reached a certain conversation topic tonight?” 
You can’t read the tone in his voice, and his blank face doesn’t help either. You knew you had been exceptionally silent tonight, but you didn’t think he would notice. Suddenly, nervous that you’ve done something to make him mad, you feel your heart pound faster.
“What topic?” You ask nervously.
“How I fuck.”
You blink a few times, not expecting those words to escape his mouth. Mouth dry, heart pounding, and sweaty hands all have you quickly looking away from him, averting his gaze.
“There it is.. That look in your eye..” Seonghwa studies your face silently, taking two steps closer to you on the stairs. “You wanna know what that look tells me?” His voice drops an octave, and your stomach does another flip. 
He’s killing you.
“Mhm..” You gulp as you nod, too overwhelmed to use actual words, blushing like crazy.
“It tells me you aren’t as innocent as you may seem.” He takes another step up the stairs, now only two steps separating you. “That those big eyes are pretty good at hiding what goes on in your mind, but sometimes it slips out, and they expose your thoughts without you saying a word..” He takes the last step closer to you. Now, he’s the one looking down at you, and you freeze like a prey trapped by the lion. His scent is hugging around you, making you feel dizzy. His eyes study you carefully, knowing he has you figured out. He scoffs confidently. “Tell me.. and be honest with me..” He leans forward, making it impossible to look away from him. “Are you wondering how it would be if I fucked you?”
Nervous, scared to admit the thoughts you’ve had about him the entire night, your eyes flicker away from him. He leans back a bit, a smirk growing on his face as he knows he’s onto something.
“So that’s a yes,” He says, your heart skipping a beat. The fact that he can read you so well, without you having to say a single word, makes you even more tense. You wish he would end this suffering, and either let you go or press his lips against yours, but instead, he does something different. “I’m feeling generous tonight, so instead of letting you wonder any longer, I’ll just tell you what it’s like to be fucked by me,”
You finally find the courage to look into his eyes as he’s trapping you between him and the banister. The thought of what he’s about to tell you makes the heat between your legs unbearable. He takes a deep breath, letting you mentally prepare yourself before he speaks.
“I like to be in control. I like to have them under me or on all fours in front of me. I like wrapping my hand around their hair or around their throat, forcing them to look at me,” He moves his arm around you, and you feel a slight pull in your hair. Your breathing is ragged, trying to control yourself. “I also use my tongue to make them cum. Luckily I love to eat pussy, especially if it’s from a pretty girl. But the best is when their big, pretty eyes look up at me, begging to cum and I’ll get to control when they’re allowed to let go and feel the orgasm take over.” His voice is down to a whisper, and you can’t believe what is happening right now. You have to bite your lip not to scream for him to kiss you. A smile creeps up on his lips like he’s about to mock you. “But you’re an angel, right? A good girl. You wouldn’t let me do those things to you.”
“I would.” You instantly respond, whispering only for him to hear.
“Use your words, angel. What would you like me to do to you?” He lets go of the grip on your hair and instead removes some hair from your face in a caring manner. 
“Everything. Whatever you want.” You know you’re fully giving in to him, but you don’t care.
“Are you sure? I’m not sure you can handle it.” His thumb caresses your cheek.
“Try me,”
This changes something in Seonghwa’s eyes. His hand grabs the back of your head and his lips are on yours in a second. The feeling of his lips on you is like fireworks, and you can’t help but moan at the overwhelming sensation like you've been waiting for this forever. For the first time tonight, you finally feel like you can breathe. 
His tongue slips past your lips, and you surrender in his grasp. Seonghwa seems just as hungry for you and starts kissing along your jaw and down your neck. You instinctively throw your head back, granting him better access. He goes in like a vampire thirsty for blood, kissing your neck, probably leaving marks. He knows what he’s doing, he knows how to make someone feel good. That makes you impatient.
“Upstairs. Come with me upstairs?” You try your best to get your words out, and you feel him smiling against your neck.
“I thought you’d never ask.” 
You waste no time going inside, quickly pressing the doors for the elevator to arrive. You feel Seonghwa’s hand on the small of your back, and you have to fight everything in you not to jump on him immediately.
The elevator comes, Seonghwa guides you inside, and you press the button to your floor. Impatiently, you press the button multiple times, hoping that will make it go faster. 
The doors finally close, and not a split second goes by until Seonghwa has you pressed up against the wall of the elevator. His hands are on your body while kissing you down your neck and along your jaw. You want his lips on yours again, but when he starts sucking on the sweet spot on your neck, you feel your knees weaken. Fingers running through his black hair are everything you thought it would be. He continues moving his lips on your skin, leaving you thirsty for more. The elevator reaches your floor, and you quickly make your way to the apartment, Seonghwa trailing behind you. You find the keys to your apartment but fumble while trying to find the right one. While struggling, you feel Seonghwa stand close behind you, and it’s like the world is working against you.
“Patience, baby.” He grabs your waist and you feel his front against your back. A gasp at the feeling leaves between your lips, and he starts kissing your neck while you desperately try to unlock the door. 
After what feels like years of getting the door unlocked, you drag Seonghwa into your apartment, and just as you close the door, Seonghwa pushes you up against it. He grabs both of your hands and holds them above your head with one of his. 
“Am I terrible for wanting to drive you home, in hopes that this would happen?” He starts kissing your neck again, and you close your eyes at the way his tongue works on your skin.
“No.”
“Tell me, angel..” He moves further down and starts kissing your collarbones. “What was running through your mind tonight? And don’t lie to me.”
“I wondered.. what the others said.”
“What did they say?”
He makes it nearly impossible for you to speak as he continues kissing further down your chest. 
“Not to let your nice personality fool me... That you made someone.. see heaven and hell at the same time.” Your words have him standing up fully, letting go of the hold on your hands above your head and he’s back to look into your eyes.
“Baby.. I’ll drag the angel in you down to hell with me. Can I?” He moved some hair out of your face again, and you’re shocked with his way of changing style. He could be dragging his lips and tongue all over you one second, and making sure you look pretty the next.
“Uh huh..” You nod, and a smirk forms on his lips as he studies the features on your face.
“I’m gonna feel bad for ruining this angel face of yours,” His smirk grows into a smile. ”But you’re gonna look so perfect after.” His index finger runs down the side of your face, and you quickly start to feel yourself go crazy. Seonghwa’s lips hover just above yours, making you desperate.
“Kiss me.” Your words come out like a cry for help, not being able to long for his lips against yours anymore.
It’s like he’s enjoying seeing you fumble. He loves to hear you beg for his touch, his lips, him. 
He looks down at your parted lips and goes in. His soft lips press against yours, and instinctively, your body responds to him. His tongue slips past your lips, exploring your mouth, and you allow every move he makes. Hands cupping your face, yours decide to pull him closer. You need him as close as humanly possible.
Slowly, his hands travel down your body, testing the waters. Of course, he doesn’t want to do something you aren’t comfortable with, despite you verbally already telling him to do anything he wants with you. But little do you know. He has been thinking of this for a week straight, not being able to think of anything else but you under his touch. So trying not to rush this, wanting to enjoy every second, Seonghwa is taking his sweet time. 
The kiss deepens, and you feel his hands travel further downward until they rest on your ass. A light squeeze makes you pull him closer, and not wanting to waste any more time, his hands travel under your thighs to pull you up. You do a small jump before wrapping your legs around his waist, and you take the opportunity to kiss his neck. A small grunt escapes Seonghwa from your lips on his skin, as he makes his way to your bedroom with you wrapped around him. 
“Are you trying to drive me insane, angel?” He opens the door to your bedroom and you’re thrown on the bed a second later. Looking up at him from the mattress, you can’t wait for whatever is about to happen. The way he's looking at you, you know you’re in for something big.
Seonghwa crawls on top of you, leaving kisses all over your body on his way.
“You know how much I’ve been thinking about this?” His lips run over your chest as he unbuttons your shirt. “Last time I was in your apartment, after the party... You were looking at my lips like you were about to kiss me and I had to fight everything in me not to fuck you right then and there on the couch.” 
Your fingers run through his hair, reminded of the first night you spoke to Seonghwa.
“I’m a horrible friend.” You say, reminded by your best friend’s admiration for Seonghwa. You’re letting a moan escape your lips when he kisses your sweet spot, not wanting him to stop. His lips leave your skin and he hovers over you, his hands on each side of your head as he looks down at you. 
“Your best friend is fucking Mingi as we speak. Besides,” His lips softly press against yours in a gentle kiss. “I bet you’ve been thinking about me too, haven’t you, angel?” 
He had been the only thing in your head for a week, of course.
You nod, looking up at him. 
“Gosh, I wanna fuck you,” He smacks his lips against yours as his fingers open the rest of the buttons on your shirt. Shortly after, your bra is exposed, and a smile creeps up on Seonghwa’s lips. “So fucking beautiful.” 
He helps you out of your clothes, and suddenly you're fully exposed in front of him. Your cheeks redden as he looks all over your body, admiring every single curve of your skin. Quickly, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. His other hand is busy massaging the other, and you feel every part of you starting to become sensitive to his touch. 
Seonghwa slowly makes his way down, kissing you all the way until his head is right above your heat. He starts teasing you, placing light kisses on your thighs, purposely avoiding your pussy.
“Seonghwa, please.” You can’t stand waiting anymore. 
“I’ve been wanting to do this for longer than you could imagine. I’m taking my time, but I do enjoy hearing you beg.”
Before you get to say another word, Seonghwa dives in and directly starts licking you between your folds. He holds your legs open to get the best access, and you feel your eyes roll back in pleasure. His tongue finds your hole and goes slightly in, making your hands grab the sheets.
“You taste so sweet, baby, like fucking dessert.” He says against your pussy, before slowly dragging his tongue up along your slit, enjoying seeing you squirm.
“Please Hwa,” You manage to say when he starts sucking on your clit, swirling his tongue around it, knowing that if he keeps doing exactly this, you’ll be coming in just a few seconds. "Your tongue.. It feels so good."
Seonghwa smirks at your words but seems to notice how close you already are and slows down.
“You couldn't even look me in the eyes earlier... Like after you knew how I fuck, you became afraid of me. Did you, angel?”
“No.”
“Then why did you look away?”
“Because-” Your words are cut short when he fastens the speed of his tongue again. “I got shy.” A loud moan escapes your lips when your legs start to shake and he enters a finger in your hole, curling it upwards so it hits a specific spot.
“I’ll make you a promise... When I’m done with you, you’re gonna be begging me to fuck you from now on. No more hiding or looking away. Okay?” Seonghwa brings his tongue back on you as he starts pumping his finger in and out of you. A muffled moan escapes you as you bite your lip. “I said; okay?”
“Yes!”
“Good girl.” He adds another finger before the speed quickens once again, and you’re sure you’re about to cum at any moment.
“Seonghwa.. I’m-” 
“Not yet, angel,” He doesn’t change the speed he’s going, only making it harder for you to hold back the overwhelming sensation forming in your stomach. “You can hold it back a little more, can’t you?” 
You almost want to cry from the emotions you’re feeling, his tongue going in circles over your clit. The grip on your bed sheets tightens, and just before you’re about to give up and let the orgasm take over, everything stands still. Like you’re on a rollercoaster, seeing the big fall right in front of you, but you’re stuck at the top. You look down to see Seonghwa removing himself from you, and you throw your head back.
Your heart is pounding fast against your chest like you’ve been running a marathon, and you release the air you’ve been holding for so long. 
“You did so well, angel. I thought you were about to go against my words for a second,” He crawls back on top of you, and you see that he’s only in his boxers. You had been too focused on him eating you out, you didn’t see what else was going on around you. “You’re a good slut, aren’t you?” His finger travels down the side of your face in a caring manner. 
Never had someone called you ‘slut’ in this setting, but when it came from Seonghwa, it only made you even more turned on. Yet, he still finds a way to intimidate you with his words, and your eyes flicker away from him. 
“Angel, are you getting shy again?” His finger travels down to your jaw before wrapping his hand around your throat. You’re completely under his spell as he leans down to whisper in your ear. “I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you, do you understand?”
Not being able to wait any longer, you impatiently nod as you’re biting your lip. 
“I can’t hear you, angel.” 
“Yes!” 
Seonghwa lets go of you before taking off his boxers, and your mouth starts to water when you see his cock pressed against his stomach. It’s bigger than you thought it would be, glistening with pre-cum.
“Get on your knees and turn towards the mirror.” He instructs, and your cheeks heat up from what is about to happen. You do as he says, your body turning against the full-body mirror facing your bed. You watch him through the mirror as he gets in bed and you feel his front against your back. His cock presses up against you, and you can’t wait to have it inside you, stretching you out.
You meet his eyes in the mirror and he sends you a smile as his hands travel on your body. “So fucking beautiful.” His lips leave kisses on your shoulder while he wraps his arm around you and runs a finger in between your folds. You respond with a muffled moan from how sensitive you are, and he slowly raises his finger to your mouth. You notice how glistening it is from how wet you are, and before you know it, Seonghwa has his fingers in your mouth.
The taste of yourself spreads on your tongue, only adding to your list of things you’ve never tried before, but are happy to do with Seonghwa.
“Have you been this wet since you heard how I fuck? You probably undressed me with your eyes while the others were around, wondering how I look as I fuck you stupid.” He removed his fingers from your mouth. “But no need to wait any longer, angel. You really think you can take it?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl.”
A second later, Seonghwa enters you and you almost fall forward if he hadn’t held onto you. His arm wraps around your waist, steadying you while you get used to the feeling of him inside you. Your hips are touching, skin against skin when he slowly starts to pull out before entering fully again. 
The feeling is overwhelming, and your head rolls back to rest on his shoulder. 
“Holy fuck, angel,” His speed slowly increases, and both of his hands go to grab your waist, holding your sturdy. "You make me want to keep you all to myself. So perfect around my cock, don't you think?" 
The sound of him fucking you quickly becomes the only thing in your mind, as you close your eyes to hold yourself from screaming.
He fastens the speed even more, and you let out a loud moan. One of his hands goes to your neck, and he slowly wraps his slender fingers around your throat to keep you in place.
“Open your eyes,” He demands and you do as he says, feeling his hips slam against yours. As soon as you open your eyes, you see yourself getting fucked by Seonghwa through the mirror. His eyes are so full of passion and lust as they keep their focus on you, while his dick pounds deep inside of you. You've never seen yourself while getting fucked, but you love the view of you and Seonghwa. “Do you see how beautiful you look with my cock inside you? So fucking obedient and good, you were made for me, angel.” 
Seonghwa lets go of your neck and a hard thrust has you falling forward, not being able to hold yourself up any longer. He continues to thrust deep inside you, grabbing the flesh on your hips so hard, it probably (hopefully) leaves marks tomorrow. 
You feel a tug in your hair, and you look up to see Seonghwa have his hand wrapped around your hair, forcing you to look into the mirror, and the sight turns you on to the fullest. Seonghwa is so deep inside of you, and you can’t help but look at how absolutely gorgeous he looks. His black, wavy hair is damp and a mess, sweat glistening on his chest, and a crease on his forehead from the passion he puts into fucking you. He grunts your name as he meets your eyes in the mirror, and you feel the thrusts deepen.
Your arms lose their strength and you fall down, face down, and ass up. This allows Seonghwa to lean over you, and you almost feel him deeper inside of you. He lets go of your hair and you feel his weight on you as he places kisses on your shoulders and your back as his cock works in and out of you. You moan his name into the bed, not being able to think of anything else but him railing into you.
“You take my cock so fucking good, just like the good little slut you are.”
His dominant side is so evident, that you’re wondering how he’s capable of hiding it normally. You didn’t ever think he’d be so controlling, but it turns you on seeing this nice guy turn into an absolute animal in bed. 
You suddenly understand what the girl from the library meant. With the way he's fucking you into the mattress, you're not sure how you're gonna be able to walk tomorrow.
You feel yourself clench around him, quickly feeling your orgasm approach once again. A moan escapes Seonghwa at the feeling and he knows you’re about to have your orgasm take over.
“I wanna see you while you come on my cock.” Seonghwa pulls out of you and rolls you over so you’re lying on your back. Your legs wrap around his waist as he enters you again, another moan about to leave your lips when he leans down to press his lips against yours. 
This takes you slightly by surprise, but in desperate need of his lips against yours, you wrap your arms around his shoulders. His hips start to move again, quickly picking up the speed to chase both of your orgasms. 
“Fuck, baby.. I feel you clench around my cock. Are you gonna cum?” He says, looking down at you.
“Y-Yes!” 
"I'll let you finish if you beg like a good girl."
He's killing you with his words, but you can't hold back anymore, You've been trying to hold back for so long, that you feel like you're going to pass out.
"Please, please!"
"Please what?" He keeps the speed, not going faster, not going slower.
"Please let me cum, Hwa!" You’re begging him to let you cum, not being able to hold back much longer. 
As if something changed in him, he quickly puts your legs on his shoulders, almost folding you in half. You feel him even deeper, hitting the perfect spot in your cunt.
“You’re going to cum on my cock, alright? You begged so obediently after all.” He smirks down at you as the pace of his thrust quickens, hitting the perfect spot every time. “Be a good girl and cum on my cock.” 
Shortly after, you feel the buildup in your entire lower region spread like wildfire throughout your entire body. Your toes curl, fingers grab the bed and your head rolls back in pleasure. An uninhibited release of control runs through your entire body and you clench around his cock. You've never felt this intensity of an orgasm before. Moaning Seonghwa’s name along with your orgasm taking over you, has him quickly feeling his orgasm approach as well. You look up at him, pleasure written all over your face.
“Holy shit, baby, I’m gonna cum if you keep looking at me like that.” 
“Cum inside me, please.” 
A smirk creeps up on Seonghwa’s lips. “Look at you, not so shy anymore, are we?” 
He fucks you hard and fast, looking down at you as you still feel your own orgasm. You moan once again, clenching around his cock and that’s enough to send Seonghwa over the edge. One last deep thrust has him emptying himself inside you, and you feel the warmth from his cum. His movements stop as he takes his time to feel his orgasm, closing his eyes in pleasure.
The sight in front of you leaves you addicted to him, so you start wiggling under him, trying to milk more cum out of him. His eyes open and he looks down at his cock inside of you, grinning as he lets you wiggle under him. He then slowly pulls out of you, enjoying the sight of his cum leaking out of you. He helps your legs down from his shoulders before slowly leaning forward to kiss you gently on your lips. 
His hand cups your cheek in a loving manner as the kiss deepens, but the kiss seems different from the others. This one is so full of care, protection, and softness. 
He pulls back, looking down at you in a way that wouldn’t make you believe he just railed you into next week.
“So… Was I too hard on you?” He asks with genuine nervousness in his voice. 
“No, you were perfect.” You smile, and he quickly looks relieved before he pecks your lips and gets comfortable in your bed.
“Come here, angel.” He opens his arms for you to lie down, and you immediately throw yourself into his arms. "Is it okay if I stay the night?" He asks softly as you wrap your arms around his stomach and he holds you close, resting his head on yours. 
"Honestly speaking, I think I'd be pretty pissed if you just left." You smile, getting comfortable in his arms. 
"I wouldn't dream of it." He kisses the top of your head, and you close your eyes, deciding to enjoy this moment with Seonghwa. “Goodnight, angel.”
You’re already half asleep, listening to the beating of his heart, wishing you could do this every night. 
(I’ve been thinking about writing a part 2 of this fic, let me know if that’s something you would like!)
2K notes · View notes
fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
Text
got mad over the fact that all the rottmnt character playlists r like. the same few songs over and over again so im making my own
1 note · View note
princessjojo-x · 4 months
Text
Moon Synastry
ignore the crossed out parts bc that’s just for me & my chart 😊
💝 moon conjunct moon - there is something abt one another that makes partners feel comfortable. both understand each other since they both express emotions the same way. but the strong empathy they feel for one another can cause them to get lost in the emotional torrent & lose sight of who the other truly is. partners pull on each others emotional strings, for better or worse. it can feel very emotionally exhausting & intense. partners may repeatedly dump all of their emotional baggage on to each other until both feel suffocated. partners may reflect each other's negative traits & partners may find that too overwhelming.
💝 moon conjunct sun - finding this person feels like finally coming home. i’ve noticed they tend to love each others cooking too. partners see parts of themselves in each other meaning they both understand each other but also judge each other. moon can become quite clingy of sun. if there’s other conjunctions or oppositions in the synastry chart too, it can be hard for partners to separate even if others to split them up.
💝 moon conjunct venus - partners may have matching love languages & similar value systems. venus will be uncontrollably obsessed & emotionally hooked to moons presence. rxship always ends on bad terms with feelings of bitterness or hatred. but somehow partners always come back to each other until they have learned their lesson. if they don’t return back to this rxship, both or at least one partner will always have the desire to do so bc of all the memories & love that existed between the two. regardless, the rxship will always be remembered by both partners bc it was deep & powerful, with a lot of understanding & magnetizing.
💝moon conjunct pluto - this can make you feel like the other is the ”only one” or the “first one” regarding something. for example a woman who has a bad rxship with men might meet a man, have this synastry with him & feel like he is the first man she ever felt safe around.
💝 moon conjunct lilith - emotional intensity, volatility from both (aries lilith or pisces moon)
💝 moon conjunct sun - one of the best compatibly aspects.
💝 moon conjunct pluto - obsession, imbalance of power, control (aries pluto or sagitarius moon)
💝 moon trine moon - you two just get each other. although you may have slightly different ways of expressing love, you still understand each other's love language to make this connection feel safe and warm. it's easy to share your feelings with each other and open up when you have this aspect and it's also so calming to be in this persons presence. they're the type of person that helps you sleep at night.
💝 moon trine venus - with this aspect you and the other person likely have similar interests and similar tastes.. especially music taste. the connection feels so smooth and the venus person understands exactly what brings the moon person comfort. there's also an endless amount of forgiveness which could be dangerous since the moon person would continue to forgive the venus person. this aspect could make it hard to establish boundaries with the other.
💝 moon square uranus - uranus will pop in & out of moons life. moon needs support & security but uranus has other intentions & isn’t concerned abt moon’s feelings. (cancer/capricorn uranus or taurus/scorpio moon)
💝 moon trine/sextile moon - creates an empathetic bond & both partners feel safe in each others presence; there’s a feeling of “being home” when you’re together. mutual feelings for each other & show it in similar ways. (leo, sagitarius, gemini, aquarius moon)
💝 moon quincunx moon - these rxships may feel fated. these are the partners you can’t help but be shaped by. even though it’s challenging to say the least, this duo tends to stick together for a longtime. (scorpio or virgo moon)
💝 moon opposite mars - codependency (libra mars or scorpio moon)
💝 moon opposite saturn - moon craves love & support but saturn is unable to provide. moon feels abandoned & will eventually distance themselves. saturn is usually very unaware of moon feelings. (libra saturn or sagittarius moon)
💝 moon conjunct neptune - marriage indicator (aquarius moon or aries neptune)
💝 moon square saturn - a lot of insecurity here, moon feels like their feelings are being invalidated & criticised by saturn (cancer/capricorn saturn or virgo/pisces moon)
💝 moon opposite moon - this can either be a perfect couple or a complete disaster. common aspect in marriages or long lasting rxships bc their emotional needs are more similar than they seemed. despite the small differences at the beginning, they understand eachother & treat each other with sweetness & delicacy. both may have similar ideas abt family life & their ideologies abt traditions. however, they have a somewhat different way of showing their emotions & finding comfort. despite this, one of the purest & sweetest expressions can arise.
💝 moon square moon - partners have an immediate emotional response to each other upon first impressions. despite the initial attraction, there’s an emotional disconnect. partners cannot understand each-others emotions which causes unnecessary misunderstandings & constant bickering. there’s many differences in how partners express their emotions & what they need to feel nurtured. despite the love they may share for one another, they view each other's ways of expression as incorrect. one or both feel deeply misunderstood or judged by the other. one will feel like their feelings are always being disregarded by the other. due to the continuous clashes resentment builds over time. partners can be overly involved in each others lives & overstep boundaries. since they likely have different maternal upbringings there may be conflict with each other's mothers or families. however, this difficult placement can be balanced or diluted if there’s further moon conjunctions present in the synastry chart (eg ‘venus conjunct moon’ or ‘sun conjunct moon’). for this partnership to survive effort needs to be made which shouldn’t be difficult if partners care abt each other. one has to come out of their comfort zone & go out of their way to make the other feel nurtured & satisfied. it takes a lot of acceptance, communication & regular check ins to work but unfortunately it rarely ever does. they may be worlds apart yet there is still a strong yearning for one another. work. (cancer/cap moon)
💝 moon square sun - drawn to each-other like magnets & attracted to each other due to opposite qualities. however, this can become a big problem in the long term bc those differences that once made you attracted can make you repulsed once the honey moon stage is over. to make this work partners need to compromise a lot (cancer/cap sun or moon)
💝 moon square mars - differences, tension & conflicts (cancer/cap mars or leo/aqua moon)
577 notes · View notes
verysium · 5 months
Note
PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹
😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.
Tumblr media
RIN
brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.
competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.
probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.
has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.
reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.
SAE
zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.
the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.
swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.
has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.
a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.
somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.
KAISER
alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.
has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.
insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.
lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.
"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.
does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.
NAGI
a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.
does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.
rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.
not loyal (need i say more.)
REO
second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.
acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.
"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.
NESS
touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.
probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.
delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.
ISAGI
a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.
solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)
has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.
says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.
BAROU
has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.
he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.
he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.
with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.
BACHIRA
this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.
one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.
has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.
SHIDOU
a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.
"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)
has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.
you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.
where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.
and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.
i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡
565 notes · View notes