#come get ya sausage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nkogneatho · 1 year

Text

"𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔" - 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐍

—cw: gn!reader, tooth rotting fluff, smoking in geto's, suggestive

—wc: 1k+ #Tip me here

—a/n: Tell me what your favorite one. Scn=scenarios. not proofread.

#mlist #whoreclub #liawot smau #taglist

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru has a very strong obsession with sweet things. You were surprised how your boyfriend not had diabetes yet.

"Aren't you worried that your teeth might fall off?" you questioned him, as soon as you came out of the sweet shop with a white polythin bag in your hand. You went to buy him the mochi he likes so much, as a result of losing your bet.

"Don't worry. You know I am the strongest. So is my teeth, baby" You rolled your eyes at the comment. It was annoying enough that you lost the bet, and he was now just getting on your nerves acting like a hotshot. Your mind couldn't help but wonder how he would act if you mess with him. Taking a step forward to the sidewalk, you left your boyfriend behind. He followed you like a puppy as he always does. Toru noticed the noise of plastic wrapper. When he skipped two steps ahead to face you, what he saw was you chewing his desert.

"Hey!" he frowned cutely.

"Quite tasty," a subtle smile on your face, internally laughing at his reaction. Oh but you were stupid. You really thought he would let this go? Your boyfriend scanned you for a minute and then—

*kiss*

He caught your lips, tasting the faint relish of the chocolate syrup on your lips. He pulled back after a few seconds, leaving your body stunned on the sidewalk.

"You were right, baby. It is quite tasty." You were taken aback. You never new your first kiss with him would be like this.

"Toru wha—"

"In fact, I love it. I think I wanna taste more." You couldn't help but blush at the suggestion.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto never shared his cigarettes with anyone. But with you, it was different.

"Ugh, this is the worst," you groan in frustration.

"Chill out. You can cover it up by the next month," suguru comforted you. He lit up the cig and took a whiff.

"But how can they just ignore all my presentations? I think they were pretty amazing. Don't you think they were amazing?" you looked at him in hopes he'll take your side. He did.

"Okay first of all, it was surreal, sweetheart. And second of all, forget about it because your lovely lovely boyfriend is here," you laugh to which he shoots you a confused look. "What? am I not lovely?" He probably didn't get that you were laughing because how cute he sounded. Not because he wasn't lovely. He was. He was the loveliest matter of fact. Suguru pouts and looks away, taking another drag.

"ah fuck it. Gimme that." You take the cig from his hand. You can feel the tip slightly wet. "We are indirectly kissing haha," you laugh, eyes closed to smoke it. When your hands fall down with cig, you could feel a body moving closer, and a set of lips locking with yours. The bitter-cold taste of mint tobacco flavor on your tongue. When you opened your eyes, Suguru had already taken the cigarette from your hand, which completely when unnoticed by you. Maybe you were too busy feeling his lips.

"Indirect kiss, my ass. I want to kiss you directly. Ya got that?" He is adorable, getting pressed over some unserious thing you said.

"Got it. My lovely boyfriend.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

Toji was straight forward. He didn't like beating around the bush. But when it came to you, he suddenly became a highschool teenage girl from a rom com who's so nervous that she unknowingly comes off mean to her love interest.

You found it adorable. The little things he did subconsciously that you found so adorable. You remember once you told him how you found sausages cut in octopus shape cute. So now you caught him making the same cuts, while he cooks breakfast for you, in his apartment.

"Wow. A grown scary looking man making cute shaped breakfast. Aren't you too old for that?"

"Shut up, babe. Ya know they're f'you. D'ya want me to poison them?" He shot a glare to you.

"Meanie," you frowned. You took a step to the stove, watching the sunny side up egg turning into an eclipse in the pan. "Uhm, Chef Toji," you called. "Your eggs are burning." You watched him place the knife on the chopping board, hastily rushing over towards the stove, turning it off. Toji sighed. But he heard someone laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Aw, aren't you a adorable little thing," you wiped away the tear from all the laugh. "It's hard to believe you're an assassin." You looked over at the counter with the octopus sausages, so perfectly cut. "Only good with blades, are you?"

The smile on your face slowly started fading as you found the big hunky man moving closer and close to you until there was no step for you to take back. Until your back hit the wooden cupboard. Toji ran his emerald iris on your lips. But before you could hide them away from him, biting it in, he captured them. Toji pushed his tongue past your lips, making your legs jelly.

"Not just blades, 'm also good with ma' lips." The attitude you had earlier, evaporated all of a sudden. Toji leaned to your side. "Wanna see what else 'm awesome at?" he whispered in your ears, totally making you lose your usual smug self.

—Reblog for part 2 🤍 :)

Tags: @eros-lives @milophiliac @denji-star @bbytamaki @thebrokenkitkat @his-saiko @loml-riri @aztecbrujeria @mwagii @kitashousewife @sugies @mrsackermannx @lilitudemon @wobblewobble822 @tohokuu

#jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #toji x reader #gojo fluff #geto fluff #toji fluff #jjk drabbles #jjk scenarios #gojo x y/n #geto x y/n #toji x y/n

2K notes · View notes

southernbluebellereader · 4 months

Text

Peach Pie and Cream

Jack Reacher x F! Southern Waitress Reader (Amazon TV show, Alan Ritchson)

Warning: Some fighting, suggestive descriptions, cutesy

Summary: Our giant man Reacher meets a charming young waitress :) and takes care of people ;)

Word Count: ~2,115 words

A/N: There will be a part 2 eventually lol

Master List - Tag List Sign-Up (tags at the bottom)

“What can I get you, sugar?”

God, the way she called him “Sugar” practically dripped from her lip-gloss covered lips like hot honey. Her breasts threatening to spill out of her lacy unpadded bra - it’s dark color barely showing through her low-cut white top.

He knew not to look, he shouldn’t, he couldn’t.

But one peek wouldn’t hurt.

It wasn’t even seven-thirty in the morning when she’d walked over to him with a pen and a little notepad.

Reacher sat up, his body erect as she spoke so sweetly to him. His eyes quickly glanced at her bosom, then made eye contact with her, showing a crooked smile, “Good morning, what are your specials?”

Y/N gave him a small smile as she caught the flicker in his eyes as he lifted them to meet yours. “Our breakfast specials include the garlic biscuit sliders with chicken, sausage, or ham…” She leaned over slightly and pointed on the menu on the table at the various specials.

Y/N’s perfume smelled so sweet. Hints of peaches and vanilla.

No. He can’t be distracted. He had to meet Neagly later.

He smiled as he looked back up at her, he didn’t hear half of what Y/N just said about the menu, just glancing at the worn out name tag that said her name. Her cheeks blushed slightly as he looked at her, the two of them were rather close.

Smiling at her, he asked, “I’ll have the garlic biscuit with the sausage special. Can I get extra bacon and a slice of your peach pie?”

“Yes, sir, you can. You want ice tea or coffee to drink?”

“Coffee is fine. Just black.”

She quickly glanced down at his large and firm chest and then back up at his eyes. He smirked even more.

Y/N bit her lower lip and then stood upright, writing his order down, “Sure thing, honey. I’ll be right back in a few.”

And those few minutes took an eternity. Reacher’s thighs began to itch as he watched her walk back to the back counter, leaning over so she could give the chef his order through the heating lamps, blushing in playful annoyance, with the cook winking and pursed lips, making kissing noises at her until she rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head.

He barely knew her but the sight of the cook irritated him. That’s no way to treat you - even if it was banter between coworkers. He’d been in town for merely a few hours.

He tried to look away. He really did. But the way her hips swayed and her chest moved, her apron tight and snug around her waist, her soft body spilling out from the sides of the apron and the top of her jeans. Every time she stood by a table to take an order, she always shifted her weight to her left, her left hip pushing out of the top of her jeans.

He always liked a full woman.

Chuckling to himself, he turned slightly to keep himself from boring holes on her ass. He glanced out the window but was thankfully disturbed by the smell of her and the food he ordered.

“Here we got today’s special with extra bacon and a cup o’joe, hot and ready just for you, honey. I’m all out of peach pie but I got one coming out of the oven any secon’ now. You want some ice cream with that pie?” She laid his food down gently, he gave you a grin and thanked you, “Careful, plate’s hot, honey.”

“Ice cream would hurt my teeth but I’ll take it since you suggested it.” Reacher caught her blush.

“I’ll make a note of it. Enjoy your food and let me know if ya need anything, ok?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He chuckled and picked up his utensils.

She winked at him and walked away, picking up a pot of coffee to replenish cups of other patrons and swatting away advances from men in their sixties on her way back to the back counter.

After a while, Y/N walked back with a plate of peach pie covered in a large scoop of vanilla ice cream and placed it in front of him.

“One large piece of fresh peach pie with a heaping scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream for the gentleman,” She said cheerfully and replenished his coffee.

He couldn’t help but smile at her, “Why on earth would you work here?” He asked bluntly, but with a soft chuckle at the end.

“Well, I got bills to pay. Just like everyone else.” She chuckled. “You ain’t got no bills?”

God, he’d do anything to hear Y/N laugh again.

“No, I don’t.”

“No bills at all?” She shook your head slightly, smiling still, thinking he’s joking.

“I have no reason to lie.”

She stared at him, not quite sure if she actually believed him or not. Most of her customers told her a few wild things here and there. But no one around these parts looked quite like him.

He was a behemoth of a man standing taller than the green giant on a can of peas, bigger and more muscular than those lumberjacks on those Brawny paper towels. His one arm was probably the size of one of her soft and plush thighs that seemed to be restricted on those skinny jeans she’s wearing.

“Aight.” She chuckled again. Her name was called, and she glanced at a group of young men about your age who dog-whistled and hollered at her. Y/N turned back around to Reacher and forced a smile, “You enjoy your pie, sir, I’ll be back in a bit with your bill. Just holler if you need anything, yeah?”

“You know them?” Reacher suddenly turned serious. His attention was on those young men who banged on the table, demanding that she serve them.

“I-I’m sorry about them, I’ll tell them to quiet down in a minute. They’re just a little rowdy-“

“That’s not what I asked. Do you know them?” He asked again, looking up at her. Her demeanor changed. Embarrassment. She could pick out that pleather jacket out from a crowd.

Blushing slightly in embarrassment, she answered, “I know one of them… that one in the sport’s jacket. The rest are his little friends. But I’ll tell them to-“

Before she could finish, Reacher stood up from his seat, his mere size making you gasp. She hadn’t realized how large he actually was until he stood up, she hadn’t seen him when he first walked in.

“Sir- please you don’t have to talk to them, what are you doin-“

“Your name is Y/N?”

“Y-Yes…” she clutched the handle of the coffee pot to make sure she didn’t drop it. He glanced down at her and gave her a half-smirk, “Just go stay behind the counter and put the coffee back on the machine so it doesn’t get cold.”

Not knowing what to think, Y/N did what he asked, the other waitresses following suit, other customers either staying in their seats or moving away as they watched Reacher walk up to the group of rowdy young men who still tried to get your attention.

He grabbed a chair and sat it by the edge of the table and sat down. Even sitting down, his large body frame towered over them. He didn’t say anything at first but looked at them smugly for a moment as they all stared at him.

The main culprit looked like he had a vein about to pop out of his forehead, “Can I help you?”

“Any reason you need Y/N to help you?”

“She’s a waitress, and I’ve been trying to get her number for a hot minute - she works here, of course she’s going to serve us.” He scoffed.

“I don’t appreciate you calling her over like she’s a dog, Pleather.”

—

“This will just sting a little-“

“Y/N, I’m fine-“

“No you ain’t, Reacher. Your brow and your lip is all busted up and that one guy had a knife.” Y/N shook her head as she cleaned up his brow with some alcohol and then put a small bandage on his forehead.

Reacher smiled at her the whole time as he let her patch him up. She’d taken him off to the side. Moaning in the distance outside, incoherent cursing could be heard from the parking lot as the group of young men eventually stood up from the ground and made it back to their car. The main culprit was hanging out in the parking lot, looking through the window at Y/N and Reacher. He spit on the ground before finally going back to his car.

“But I’m serious, Reacher… you ain’t have to do that…” Once she finished, Y/N put the extra bandages back in the First Aid kit and looked at him with concern.

“Well, I did it anyway. And last I checked, you’re not a dog.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile and then patted his shoulder. “You’re sweet. Sorry about your pie, the ice cream is all melted. I’ll get you a new one.”

“You eat that new one, I’ll eat mine.” Reacher was not one to waste food if he could help it - especially when trouble seemed to follow him. Smiling softly, she nodded and patted his shoulder before going back behind the counter and cutting her own slice of pie as Reacher walked back to his seat, waiting and watching as Y/N walked back and sat opposite of him.

Like teenagers, they couldn’t keep eye contact while trying to eat their peach pie.

“That was some military fightin’ back there, Reacher? Is it ok if I call you Reacher?” Y/N managed to muster out, clearing his throat and looking up at him.

Chuckling softly, Reacher nodded, “Yeah, I was in for a while.” He paused for a moment, watching her eat. The stories she must’ve heard from people. The restaurant was quiet again. She looked up at him, giving him a small smile. “Jack is fine too.”

“Jack? That’s your first name?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Jack Reacher.” She said. She was quiet for a second as she examined him. Taking in his appearance. Committing him to memory. She sucked the inside of her cheek as she tilted her head. Savoring his name, as if she took a bite of him like she did that pie. The sweetness in her voice dripping from her lips as she said his whole name. Sweeter than the half-eaten peach pies sitting before them.

“I like it. Hard to forget a name like that. It’s different. You stayin’ here long, Jack?” She scooped the last bit of pie and placed the spoon face down on her tongue, sucking off whatever peach pie remnants were left on the spoon before placing the spoon on her plate.

Very few people’s opinions mattered to Reacher, he barely knew Y/N but it made him smile when she said his name and that she liked his name. It gave him an unusual feeling. Couldn’t help but wonder what peach pie would taste like when it’s on her tongue.

“Just passing through.” He leaned back once he finished his slice of pie, admiring the woman in front of him. Her lipgloss still glistened. Her eyes sparkled. Her breasts barely contained in her bra.

“That’s unfortunate. I would’ve loved to see you again, Jack.” She smiled when she took notice of him admiring her. It was a different type of admiration. “Can I call you?”

“Don’t have a phone.”

“Can I send you a letter?”

“Don’t have an address.”

“Well, damn, how will I talk to you and get to know you when you leave? Will this be the last I see of Jack Reacher, the man who saved my life?”

“I’ll come back tonight.” Reacher chuckled, smirking at her.

Y/N chuckled and then leaned forward slightly, resting her forearms on the table, making the softness in her breasts very obvious as they pressed up. “Is that so? Well, would you like me to tell you the dinner specials now or later?”

“What time to do you get off?”

“After dinner tonight. Would you like to join me for dinner?”

“I should be asking you that.” Reacher mirrored her actions, leaning forward, his massive arms made of military grade steel rested on the table. Their faces were mere inches apart.

“Well, I asked first.”

Reacher wasn’t one to pursue women. But Y/N? From the little time he got to interact with her, he might hang around this little country town a little while longer.

TAG LIST

@redpool @mykneeshurt

#Jack Reacher #alan ritchson #jack reacher x reader #jack reacher fanfic #jack reacher fan fiction #jack reacher Alan ritchson #jack reacher headcanons #jack reacher amazon #jack reacher amazon prime #reacher #reacher x reader #reacher amazon

784 notes · View notes

pedge-page · 2 months

Text

Joel Miller x F!Reader - Piss Kink #4

if you're feeling bold, can be read with more Piss kink #1, #2, #3, or alone.

Summary: Joel entices you home with a uniquely fun hommade toy that he's been edging himself with.

Warnings: pisskink! , pill-filled condom, sending nudes ish, nipple play, sub!Joel returns!, male masturbation, mirror masturbation, assisted masturbation, overstimulation, degrading lanauge towards Joel, this one is all about Joel

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Work fucking sucks when you’re horny as shit.

While you rot away at a desk 5 days a week, from 9-5 with limited days off, you get a bit envious of Joel’s flexible schedule where he can pick his own contracts, his own projects, and work his own hours at his own fee.

Must be nice to be a solid brick wall of meat.

And he doesn’t make it any better. Having your phone buzz off at your desk literally every 5 seconds with pictures of his scruffy head waking up at 9:57am, his homemade sausage links and pancakes, his feet propped up on the coffee table while sipping away your coffee in your mug that you forgot because you were running late!

You: Fuck off, lazy ass

Joel: come home and I’ll fuck your ass all day :P

You: do you have any real plans today other than being a little shit?

There’s 15 minutes of silence from his end. Enough that you’re pretty far into a project you couldn’t get off the ground, until there’s a new chime vibrating from your phone.

Joel: video attachment

You bite your lips, hovering over the file icon. This could be just another “Joel enjoying his day off” …

or a “Joel enjoying his day off.”

Not risking it, you run to the bathroom and lock yourself in the stall.

The video plays, and you can make out Joel’s big fat blurry fingers blocking half the camera as he angles the phone on the sink vanity, facing himself in the mirror focus sense. He backs away, and unzips his jeans. His cock is only half hard, but that doesn’t deter him from pumping it lazily in his hand, digging in the drawer off camera looking for something.

It’s not until he’s ripping off a condom with his teeth that you’re very intrigued.

“Got a present for ya when you come home,” he smirks into the camera.

He rolls the plastic over his much harder cock now, pulling it tight all the way to the base, stretching it over his thick length.

Joel’s not one to use condoms, so this is—new.

He’s breathing hard, chest rising and falling as he pumps his dick with short jerks. His thumb teases over the clear covered tip. there’s some sweet little noises you know you’re missing because the mic doesn’t pick it up, but by the way his brows furrow, his lips part with eyes closed, you know he’s feeling dirty and good.

He lets out a strong groan, and the condom starts inflating quickly as he relives his urine. “FUck—fuck , shit, it’s filling up fast.”

You hold in a gasp because fuck yeah he’s right. The condom expands rapidly as yellow liquid quickly pools in the empty nub at the top before over coming the underside.

“Mmm—ah—ah-ahh-yeahfuck baby—its’ warm. Warm like you,” he grunts, smiling. He tilts his head back and moans, thrusting his hips a bit more like he wants to fuck it.

He breathes shallowly when it’s over. The condom now tightly packed with warm golden piss around his aching length like a thick balloon, not much larger than a short zucchini but still impressively bulging.

He jerks over himself a little bit, watching the liquid bounce with such inertia it takes a moment to even out. It should be disgusting, really, watching him play with himself with his own piss like a pocket pussy, were it not for the tight clench of your thighs and throb between your legs.

“Reminds me of ya tummy when I filled ya full of it the other day.”

He starts to pull his jeans back up, careful to tuck the full package into his crock area before zipping it up cautiously. Two little hops and everything falls into place. He groans as he manages the button over his waist.

He pats his new bulge before winking into the camera and the video ends.

You don’t even realize you were biting your finger nails while sitting on the toilet seat in the stall. Your skirt bunches up over your legs as you spread them. Fuck, you can’t touch yourself at work!

Just as you’re about to write an extremely lengthly curse off to Joel, another image attachment comes in:

Joel lying on the couch with the camera facing down towards his feet, the evident bulge still packed tight in his head with his girth hand gripping at it through his jeans.

Joel: Warm n tight, just like your sweet little cunt :)

Another video comes in, and there’s barely any intuition in you left to ignore it as you’re hitting play so quickly.

He’s positioned the phone in front of him again at the couch, folding laundry causally with his legs spread wide. The bulge in his pants, however, is much bigger. Each uncomfortable shift only elicits a whimper from him, grinding into his palm to adjust the position but only turning him on more. He leans back and unbuttons the pants. The zipper practically falls away on its own to give room to the massive piss filled condom, shaped like a droopy sack, it’s been desperately trying to hold together.

He sighs in relief, jiggling the balloon. It’s now the length of a fat cucumber, sagging to the cushion from the weight.

“Shit. This is a fuckin’ strong ass condom, baby. Feels like I’m bout to burst everywhere.”

He continues to smack it, jerk it, play with it like a silicon boob and not like it’s his own urine filling a condom and drawing his poor dick, still hard as a rock and an angry shade of red infused with the yellow tint of the sloshing liquid. His leg bounces, both of you hypnotized at the way the latex ripple with each wave.

“Can’t wait for you to come home and see how big it’s gonna get in your hand.” He cups his balls underneath while fisting his warm and wet pocket pussy. It jiggles obscenely in his hand, his hips thrusting into it until his tummy tense and he stills. You can just barely see the little air bubble at the top get smaller as he relieves himself more. His eyes roll back, feeling the warmth surround his meat like living inside your cunt.

The video ends, and a second image is waiting for you:

Joel standing with his top belt button undone but the zipper struggling to stay up, holding his fat bulge that now has taken over to drooping down his thighs.

Joel: Fucking Christ baby, you see how fucking tight this is?

You don’t open the last video attachment, as you’re already packing your computer away and telling your manager you’re not feeling well, zipping to your car and speeding home.

Joel’s cock is in a constant state of pain and pleasure all day. For one, his piss is keeping everything so fucking warm, unlike anything he’s felt regularly wrapped around his cock, stuffed in his pants. But on the other hand, his dick has been trapped inside a warm wet fluid substance for over two hours non stop hard, and he’s ready to cum geysers.

He considers whether waiting all day for you to come home for his “present” is going to be worth it when he hears keys being entered into the front entrance.

He’s standing right there the moment you open the door. He can tell you rushed with the state of your wrinkled shirt half untucked, messy hair and even more evident—the ferocious look in your eyes.

You wrap your arms around him and hug him close. He lets out a tiny sigh, feeling your middle press against his crotch tightly. To your delight, it’s still there, all packed tight and warm, crammed so stiffly it could burst with any more pressure. Your hand roughly grabs at the squishy bulge in his jeans and Joel stutters a gasp, then a little moan with his eyes closed in bliss. You can just barely hear the quiet rush of liquid filling into the condom even more.

“Did you just piss some more?” You ask, your hand rubbings soothing circles over the bulge.

He nods, lips parted sinfully with dazed eyes now that you’re here and in charge.

“You’re a naughty boy, sending that shit at work. Making me come home early to take care of this,” you whisper sensually in your honey silk voice that has his veins shivering from excitement and trouble.

“Nnmgg—mmmm, I wanted you here. And you want its too,” he snickers.

You tug the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a harsh kiss. He groans into your month, pulling you closer and grinding himself into your secure body like a horny teen. His body melts in to your touch, more needy to have you here than you were to have him.

Your tongue holds his hostage while you busy your fingers and unbutton his jeans. The piss filled condom spills out of there like it was desperate to breathe.

Joel lets out a pathetic sigh of relief. You continue to palm him while he pants into your mouth, all the pent of pressure finally having room to escape, but still trapping his thick cock. It’s fucking heavy, the weight of his hot urine filling the bag over and over again, latex stretched so tight. “It’s.. s-so heavy—bout to burst,” he rasps, eyes shut into your shoulder as you hold it for him.

You smirk against his lips, continuing your torture in your hand while he shivers.

You reach below the moist cucumber sack and roll his balls in your hand, tugging gently to get him to follow you.

He obeys beautifully. Leaping after you as you massage him, trailing so close that he’s wafting your hair product, twitching in your palm.

“Sit,” you command, pointing to the floor in the bedroom, directly in front of your floor length mirror.

He sinks to the group, staring at his reflection. So pretty and small beneath you. You slide right behind him, hands slowly tracing along his inner thighs, making him involuntarily man spread.

You grasp the urine condom and start tugging, jerking it in your hand as you pinch his nipples under his shirt with your free hand.

“You look like a fucking pervert and a whore.”

He whimpers and melts into your touch. Tense in his cock and chest but relaxed everywhere else. Despite the mass of the man in front of you, practically blocking your view of his beautiful twitching body, you perch over his arm to watch.

His eyes keep drifting back, pleasure consuming him after edging all day. But he keeps snapping forward to look at how you’re tearing him apart.

“Only fucking disgusting boys do this type of shit, Joel. Is that what you are?”

He nods vigorously, hips cantering forward.

The sloshing of liquid grows louder as you pump over the slimy sack faster. His shirt rides up, his soft belly flexing with each painful breath he forces going in and out.

“Can you fill this up some more? While I’l jerking you off? Don’t cum yet. Want more of your foul liquid to fill this thing. It’s so fucking big, Joel. see how much we can pack into here before it explodes!” You laugh.

He grits his teeth, and you still your movement. With a few assisted tugs wrapped around your own hand, he’s moaning out pornographically, and you can see through the latex the extra stream of gold forced out of the tip of his dick and expanding the hot condom. It’s big enough now that you need Joel to help wrap his other hand around it. The two of you jacking him off together.

“Such a fucking good boy, Miller. My piss hungry boy.”

If you weren’t so fucking turned on by your whimpering mess of a boyfriend you’d be cringing so hard. But Joel just somehow always manages to bring that side out of you.

“Arrgghhhhh--aahhh—oh—ohh—ohf—oh fuck! Fuck it baby, yeah—YEAH—unfff I’m—I’m gonna—“ he’s blabbering incoherently, nodding and shaking his head, overstimulated and yet so close to getting what his whole body is begging for. The condom bounces along as the two of you fall out of rhythm, smashing against his pelvis and balls, his tip stretching across the clear seal before being drowned in a vacuum of piss.

You accidentally pinch the condom as you pull it close to him again. Coupled with being filled to its limit, the entire thing snaps in a giant explosion of the piss damn breaking, ursting all over Joel’s torso and thighs and the floor.

The impact of it all has his hips thrusting forward, his jaw dropping open in a surprised gasp when he cums into the free air—ropes of it shooting so far onto the mirror. You don’t stop, despite the wet mess all over him and tattered condom shred still clinging between your digits, jerking his wet cock to completion and tilting his hips up so that his creamy spend shoots on his pouty lower lip.

He licks away the salty tang of his orgasm, breathing down from his high. You both observe him in the mirror: clothes drenched from chest to knee, splatters of of his spend adorning him and the mirror like overly-excited icing on a tres-leches soaked cake.

He’s shaking from the aftershock. So overly whipped and leaning further back against you for support. You hold his cock, now finally able to breathe, as you kiss along his jaw and neck. “You’re so gross, I fucking love it,” you tease, nipping at his ear.

He smiles with you, sighing up to the ceiling with blissful sedation.

He stays pliant in your arms, head resting against your breasts. It’s quiet, minus the love sucks you’re dressing all over his face with your lipstick.

He opens his eyes. “How about a hug after such a loooooong day at work, baby?”

You stop kissing him and lean away, shaking your head.

“No? Are you sure? I think you need it,” he hums, a devious look in his eyes as he starts to turn on you.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You warn. You immediately scramble to your feet and try to run out the door, but Joel’s caught up in no time, bear hugging you from behind.

“Awwwww, isn’t this soooo nice, baby?”

“Gross, gross, gross!” You laugh, wiggling unsuccessfully as you feel his urine seeping from his clothes to your beautiful white blouse and ironed skirt. You shiver at the warm, disgusting feeling of it all.

“Fucking nasty perverted piss boy.”

He giggles into your hair as you admin defeat, swaying with him in a tight embrace.

“With my fucking nasty perverted piss girl.”

Permanent taglist

- - - -

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee

#pedro pascal smut #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #last of us smut #joel miller fic #pisskink!joel #piss kink #the last of us smut #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

270 notes · View notes

korasonata · 9 months

Text

JUST finished Cleo’s first stream for Pirates SMP, and the amount of times I just fully burst out laughing like—

—

Sausage: *kisses Scott on sight*

Owen: *throwing himself in front of Sausage * Hi. 😏

Scott: I like a forward man 😉

—

Sausage: Where do you get these? This silk?

Scott: Thank you, thank you…

Sausage: Can I touch it?

Scott: Yeah of course. You can touch whatever you want 😏

—

Oli: I’ll give you 5 gold to tell me what’s beneath that patch.

Cleo: Look my eye got stolen by a monkey, ok?!

Oli: Oh! Was it a my cock?

Sausage: WHAT?!

Oli: A ma’ cock!

Sausage: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT!

—

*Owenge_Juice becomes a Heron*

Scott/Cleo/El: (chanting) ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Owen: …are you allowed to change your mind afterwards?

Scott: NO! :D

—

El: So you’re like a lone wolf?

Owen: Uh…kind of. More like a lone sea dog.

El: Come on, give us a bark.

Scott: Yeah!

Owen: Uh…I only bark in certain situations…

Scott: Oh. What situations?

Owen: …uh, oKAY! WHICH WAY—

—

El: This is my bed over here. There is one right next to it, you can take that.

Owen: Perfect! Thanks!

El: I do make really loud noises in my sleep.

Scott + Owen: Oh???

El: Yeah.

Cleo: Yeah, but not the noises you would expect either.

—

Cleo (about Olive): They said they’d got invitations from Herons and Nightingales I think?

Scott: Yeah it was Heron, Nightingales, and Kestrals, they didn’t get Kites.

Cleo: Who DOES get Kites unless you’re a psychopath.

Scott: Owen got all 4.

Owen: Yeah…umm…

Cleo: Oh…

—

*Cleo gets everyone drunk*

Cleo: Ah, you’re all lightweights!

El: *flirting with Water* Oh, you look so lovely in this light right now!

Water: Oh El!

El: Lovely!

Scott: I feel I can take more damage. I’m gonna go jump off the cliff guys!!

—

Cleo: Maybe one day you can buy a real hat!

El: Well I will, but you know, I just think— I don’t see anybody else having made one when they’ve not got one. Gonna get a wet head.

Cleo: *absolutely lost it*

—

Cleo: Gotta get the alcohol. Otherwise I’m gonna kill someone. It’s fine.

—

Oil (Distant): ARE WE SURE THIS IS THE WAY?!

Cleo: Scott’s sure it’s the way!

Oli (distant distress): I— DON’T LIKE IT!

Aimsey: Honestly I’m hoping for the best! I hope he does!

Oli: Ya Damn Herons!

Cleo: You don’t have to follow us, ok?!

Oli: Well unfortunately my Kestrals already ran off

Aimsey: This is what I mean! I— I’m hoping you get this! I’ve dunked this too many times!

Cleo: It’s very Kestral of you to just wait until the end and have other people to do it for you!

Aimsey: I’m a Kite! I’m a Kite! Thank you!

Cleo: Well, yeah you know what? It’s very typical for Kites to do it too.

Aimsey: Oh well is it now? Is it then?!

Cleo: Oh yeah yeah! It is it is!

Aimsey: Do you wanna duel?! You wanna duel when we get back, Cleo?! You wanna duel?!

Cleo: Do I want to punch you in the face a bunch? I do. But I’m drunk. I don’t know what you want from me.

—

Oli: There we go, I’ve got a side angle. I’m overtaking you, Heron! SLOOOOWWW

Cleo: *cuts him off*

Oli: No stop crashing! You’re crashing my port side!

Cleo: Well you know—

Oli: GET OFF ME PORT SIDE!

Cleo: NO ONE WANTS TO BE ON YOUR PORT SIDE, OK?!

Oli: Everyone wants to be on my port side!

—

Cleo: This is very far away. Like I haven’t heard Scott this whole time. I feel like Scott’s monologuing.

Aimsey: I can hear you though, Cleo!

Cleo: I hear YOU. And I—

Aimsey: You love that, right? You love hearing me. 😏

—

Cleo: *singing* What shall we do with a drunken sailor! What shall we do with a drunken sailor! What shall we— *talking* apparently put her in a boat and let her follow Scott, that’s what you need to do with a drunken sailor.

—

Oli: AIMSEY! AIMSEY! AIMSEY! STOP SINGING!

Aimsey: *distant singing*

Cleo: Oh I can’t hear Aimsey, that’s good.

Oli: CAUSE I HATE HERONS!

Cleo (a Heron): AIMSEY’S NOT A HERON!

SILENCE

Oli: …then what are they?

Cleo: They’re a Kite.

Oli: OH STUPID KITES! Herons, you’re alright. KITES. Imbeciles.

—

Owen (talking to chat): No, there’s no canon lives, chat. Except in specific cases. *whispering* check with Twitter.

Cleo: YOU’RE BREAKING MY EMERSION OWEN!

Owen: Sorry!

—

Olive: Hey! Where does a pirate go to school? HARRRvard!

Cleo: …You’re out of the faction.

Olive: Oh no! Not on my second day! H—how does a pirate protect themself? ARRRmour.

Cleo: …I’m gonna run a vote…

Olive: No it’s fine, I’ll go join the Kite’s or something, it’s fine.

Cleo: Oh dear.

Olive: What do you call it when two pirates are in a draw? A staleMATEY.

Cleo: OUT! OUT OF THE FACTION!

—

*Cleo walks up to a female NPC*

Cleo: Hello sweet lady 😏

—

Other things I also enjoyed

•Scar managing to get a Jellie and literally everyone swarming around to pet her

•Scott, Aimsey, Cleo, and Oli sailing together and all of them singing a completely different pirate song simultaneously.

•The entire dynamic between Cleo and Aimsey

•Cleo being HELLA sus of Cruppy the entire time right up until Scott hands it a beer and it drinks and suddenly Cleo’s just like actually you know what? You’re alright. We cool.

•Cleo being given babysitting duty and then literally within 5 minutes pawning off the child with a rival faction

•Cleo using being drunk as an excuse for everything. Lag? Everyone is drunk because she keeps giving out alcohol. Server crash? Don’t mind her she’s just vomiting in the corner of a pub somewhere. No tools? She needs the iron to make kegs for MORE alcohol. Oh you wanna fight? I would but I’m drunk. Shit babysitter? I’m a drunk what do you want from me? She signs off for the day and her excuse for her absence is literally just “imma go get blackout drunk for a solid 14 hours”. The fact that the excuse works lore wise for almost every situation.

•THE ANIMATICS

•The LORE. JUST ALL THE LORE

Solid start. 10/10

#pirates smp #pirate smp spoilers #spoilers #zombiecleo #zombie cleo #mythical sausage #owengejuicetv #dangthatsalongname #scott smajor #aimsey #oli orionsound #soupforeloise #watermunch #olivesleepy

857 notes · View notes

axnrxn · 1 year

Note

hi, may i request for reader who looks really innocent and gentle but loves to give dirty jokes? or maybe reader that likes saying something ordinary but always has sexual innuendos. and she pretends like she doesn’t understand why they are laughing/embarrassed/groaning from what she said? please and thank you. i hope this one gets picked, ill be waiting and hoping. thanks! 🥰

Innuendos | MW2 characters (König, Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish) x GN!reader

Warnings: Sexual innuendos, or my poor attempts at them. I made this fic GN now<3

König

You love to fluster this man endlessly, which isn't difficult to begin with. So instead of simply flustering him, you want to see how much you can fluster him.

During a mission, you turned to König and sighed dramatically.

“You'd better give me a pearl necklace when this is all over with, god knows I deserve one.”

“W-What?” König laughed nervously, attempting to cover up his embarrassment and dirty thoughts.

“You know, a pearl necklace? I could totally pull it off, I just know it,” you said casually, knowing exactly what your partner was thinking.

“Oh, uhm, like those fancy ones from the jewelry stores?” His Austrian accent thickened as he became more flustered.

König was silently thanking himself for keeping his face hidden because it was incredibly pink all the way down his neck, he could feel the heat radiating from his intense blush.

“Of course, what else would I be talking about?” you replied innocently, knowing full well that's not what you meant.

You just loved to make your taller, imposing partner squirm in his uniform. You smirked to yourself, seeing the slight sliver of his face visible through his hood turn visibly pink.

“You alright up there, König?” You asked with a little laugh, unable to completely hide your teasing.

“Mmm, yes” König groaned before answering you.

You walked off toward the rest of the team, leaving him to stew in his dirty thoughts.

“Scheiß” he muttered, believing you were out of earshot.

You smiled, having gotten the reaction you were going for.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

You looked across the table to your lieutenant. Ghost gestured for you to get up from dinner, making you groan.

"Come on, relax a bit with the rest of us, Ghost." You whined, already tired from your sniper training.

"No rest for the wicked, sergeant." He replied sharply.

"Well, you had me on my knees all day." You groaned, deep down hoping that he caught your "unintentional" innuendo.

"What now?" He asked, caught off guard.

"Yeah, you had me on my knees all day for you. My knees and back are killing me now." You laid it on thicker, emphasizing 'all day' as you spoke.

"Well princess, you've gotta get a move on so we're ready for our mission in the morning. Need you on your A-game." He huffed, trying to avoid your eyes.

"My knees are gonna be too bruised to be on my A-game tomorrow thanks to you, lieutenant." You went on, trying to fluster your superior.

He wasn't budging much, given the stoic man he is, but you could tell your words made him a bit hot under the collar. He shifted his shoulders under the weight of his vest, straightening his back a bit as if to reassert his authority.

"Come on sergeant, you and me. You will be responsible for watching Soap's six. Let's go." He said gruffly, not waiting for another coy response from you before turning on his heel and leaving the common area you were eating in.

You sighed and hastily followed Ghost back toward the training area. As you got closer, you quieted your footsteps and peered around the corner, just enough to catch Ghost adjusting his noticeably tighter pants. You smirked, confirming that your words had a greater effect than he had let on.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

"God, I love a good sausage breakfast in the morning" you yawned as you dug into your food. Johnny had managed to find a local butcher shop willing to sell at cheap wholesale prices for you and 141.

"What ya say there, private?" Johnny asked, cocking his eyebrow at you.

"Sausage. In the morning. I love it. Thank you, Johnny" you replied between bites.

He chuckled, lightly punching your arm.

"O' course, y'know I'll always give ya sausage in the mornin'." he winked, watching you scarf down your breakfast.

"Well I expect sausage from you every morning from now on, Johnny" You stated, unwilling to end your innuendos with Johnny playing along.

Gaz made a dramatic gagging sound. The rest of 141 had enough of your flirting for the morning.

"Oi, slow down. Just enjoy it today, yeah?" His cheeks got a bit pink following Gaz's interruption.

"Mmm, alright Johnny." You replied, smiling.

As you were about to leave the common area, Johnny stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

"If ya want some extra, you know where to find me, yeah?" He whispered in your ear. He smirked at you as he walked back to his quarters.

"Don't have to tell me twice," you mumbled to yourself, looking for the least suspicious way to follow Johnny without the rest of 141 noticing.

The inspiration audio

A/N: Sorry that this took so long! I wanted to make it unique for each character rather than recycling innuendos/scenarios! I only wrote for Konig, Ghost, and Soap because those are the characters whose speech I'm most familiar with. I want to write more for Alejandro, but I don't want to make him sound not like himself if that makes sense. Thank you anon for giving me my first request!

2K notes · View notes

zanarkandskylines · 1 month

Text

delicate (isn't it?) ꒰ tangled hearts series - kiribaku x fem!reader ꒱ ⇢ the three of you passionately spent an entire night together, unable to keep your hands off one another. the next day, things are...different, to say the least. you're nervous about what your "friendship" looks like from here onward.

꒰ tags & content ꒱ hints of past abuse (emotional/physical) in a relationship | fluff & emotional comfort, establishing a relationship ⋆ ˚ʚɞ — takes place after the first night spent in their home. ｡‧˚ʚ cross posted to ao3 | wc; ~1.4k ɞ˚‧｡ ✿ tangled hearts masterlist ✿

A soft peck to your forehead stirs you from slumber, fluttering your eyes open to the beautiful blonde before you. You’re about to slur his name in confusion when Bakugo put his finger to his lips, silently telling you to stay quiet. He points behind you to a sleeping Kirishima, blissfully snoring as the sunlight highlighted his features through the sheer curtains of their bedroom.

Bakugo bends over to your face, whispering as quietly as he can manage in your ear, “Makin’ breakfast, I’ll come get ya when it’s done.” He leaves another kiss on the shell of your ear before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

The night’s - ahem, activities - replay in your mind like a pay per view movie. You’d never been touched like that before in your life, desired and worshipped like a goddess gracing their presence. It was the perfect mixture of passion and lust, pure euphoria from start to finish.

Exactly how many times did you cross said finish line?

…You lost count after three.

You had not expected to be waking up in their bed, nestled between the two of them - to have Bakugo making you and Kirishima breakfast in the afterglow of your amorous affair. Had you wished for it? Absolutely! Did you think it would ever come true? Not in your wildest dreams.

It was a silent pining, something you didn’t assume either of them reciprocated. They’d been married for years, how were you to know they’d be open to accepting you into their relationship? It wasn’t something you talked about, it was spontaneous.

Well, you haven’t actually talked about it…yet.

Would it be awkward to bring it up over breakfast? Bakugo didn’t seem phased at all this morning. He’d assumed you’d stay asleep when he kissed your forehead, simply admiring you curled up beside Kirishima. Did he do that because he wanted to? Does he feel obligated because you stayed the night and slept together?

Endless intrusive thoughts are cycling through your head when Kirishima stirs next to you, silencing your inner critic when he throws an arm around your waist, tugging you into his heated body. He nuzzles his nose in your hair from behind, sighing contently.

“Mornin’ darling,” he mumbles, voice groggy with sleep. “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.” You don’t think your cheeks could flush hotter than they are now, especially after the ‘darling’ pet name in his husky ‘just woke up’ voice. Kirishima’s yawning behind you when Bakugo re-appears in the bedroom doorframe.

“Breakfast’s on the table, get your asses down there while it’s hot.” He smiles at the two of you before turning to head back downstairs. Wiggling out of Kirishima’s grasp, you swing your legs to the edge of the bed, the aroma of whatever Bakugo’s made lingering in the air. Kirishima trails behind you lazily as the two of you tread downstairs to the kitchen. Bakugo’s finishing pouring coffee into three mugs as you sit at the table, eyes widening at the buffet he’s managed to prepare in such a short amount of time.

“Holy shit, Katsuki!” you exclaim, blinking dramatically to convince yourself it’s real. “What’s all this for?”

He smirks proudly. “‘s nothin’. I enjoy cooking for people. Usually it’s just Ei, so I might'a overdid it.”

The table is full of options - a full dish of baked eggs, a stack of homemade pancakes, a plate of bacon and sausage links, a bowl of roasted peppers, another plate with cooked salmon, and three small servings of rice.

How long has this man been awake?! It’s only - you take a quick glance over at the stove to confirm the time - 8:15am.

He hands you one of the cups of coffee and ruffles your hair playfully.

“Are ya cold?” Bakugo asks, motioning to your bare legs. “ You can grab a pair of my sweats from upstairs. I tossed your wet clothes into the wash this mornin'.”

You’d forgotten that you’re only wearing one of their t-shirts and underwear. Oops.

“Oh, thank you! I’m alright, it’s warm enough in here,” you say quietly. “But, uh, if you want me to wear pants, I-”

“Oh no, sweetheart, no one said that,” Kirishima chimed in cheekily. He takes a sip of his coffee as your cheeks grow rosy.

The three of you enjoy the breakfast spread in silence. The unknown anxiety in your gut is growing, afraid that this means you've somehow tainted the friendship you've built with them.

"Somethin' wrong?" Bakugo questions, eyes narrowed at your visible worry.

Wow, he catches on quick. You nervously fidget with your shirt, eyes locked onto your plate. "Umm...no? Well, not wrong. I'm just...confused," you begin to say.

Kirishima gently interrupts you by outstretching his hand to your wrist across the table. "Everything's okay!"

"It's...been awhile since I've dated, let alone slept with someone. I don't wanna make this weird."

Bakugo can't help but roll his eyes at your assumption. "It's not weird. We've never done shit like that before, either.”

That makes you feel a touch better, easing your worries enough to continue the conversation.

"Okay, so then...what, uh...what are we?"

Both boys simultaneously roseate as they look at each other, exchanging a silent conversation with their eyes.

"What do you want us to be?" Kirishima proposes, giving you the option of choice. "No pressure at all. It doesn't change a thing."

What exactly did you want? This was a foreign situation - to all three of you, of course - but did you want something more than just friends with benefits? To date them, or keep it at a one night stand with your best friends?

"To be honest, it felt nice to be wanted again. My ex was never...actually, we don't have to talk about that."

The two of them shifted their expressions into concern as you've never mentioned your love life before. Your change in tone hinted that it wasn't a happy experience.

"You don't have to tell us about 'em. It's in the past and that's where it can stay if it's what's best for you."

Bakugo's reassurance makes your heart soar, not expecting such a kind understanding with little insight. Taking your inflection as a clue was more than enough for him to understand the delicate, and potentially painful, memory. You finally look up from your plate and nod in thanks.

"This is different, but it's...comfortable. I don't know what to call it, though.”

“Jus’ keep it simple,” Bakugo asserts, shrugging his shoulders. “We can hook up or date. Or none of the above, once an' done deal.”

Even though his words are bold, his face is redder than the tomatoes in his garden. Kirishima's biting his lip, head turned away from the conversation to hide the heat creeping across his face. It’s honestly adorable how flustered they both are about this - about you.

"We don't need an answer now, either! We can table -," Kirishima begins to explain as you interrupt him.

"I want to be with you two."

Both of them trade stares once more. It was impressive how well they could communicate without words. Bakugo snickers, grin settling on his lips. Kirishima's toothy smile appears when he sees his husband's joy.

"Wanna be our girlfriend?" You can't help but laugh at their dual question, comical how they happened to ask at the same time.

It was an easy answer. "Yes, I'd love that - both of you."

They get up from their seats at the table and rush over to smother you with kisses and hugs, excited for this new stage in your lives. Bakugo halts for a second following the whirlwind of affection, kneeling down to be at eye level with you.

"Fuck whatever his name is and how he treated you, alright? We'll treat ya like the goddess you are."

You can feel the tears welling in your eyes at his words and bite the inside of your cheek, praying they won't fall. All you can respond with is a soft 'mhm.' He brushes your cheek with his thumb, pinching it lightly before returning to his seat.

The silence no longer feels heavy as you finish breakfast, enamored with your newfound relationship. Who would have thought you'd find not one, but two people who want to shower you with love?

Taking that job transfer was the best decision you've ever made.

⋆ ˚ʚɞ — the triad is a-go!! 💜🌟 ✿ wildflowers; @maddietries ↶ | previous entry (a quiet life) ↷ | next entry (twisted in bedsheets)

#kiribaku x reader #bakugo x reader #kirishima x reader #kiribaku #kiribaku x y/n #kiribaku imagine #kiribaku fluff #katsuki bakugo #eijiro kirishima #bakugo imagine #kirishima imagine #☆.tangledhearts

260 notes · View notes

squarenail · 2 months

Text

Some absolute nonsense inspired by @pfhwrittes recent post on British Wildlife.

T141 and the British Wildlife they’d lose to

Kyle: 🦊

Kyle Garrick feared no man. He’d looked plenty a terrorist in the eye, pulled the trigger to ensure they couldn’t hurt anyone again, throwing himself into unknown territories in the pursuit of world peace.

But this was no man.

This was a London Fox.

Kyle was trapped, helpless, watching his hard earned dinner be scarfed down by a mother and cubs who had all but robbed him at knife point for it. Some fights were not worth the trauma, and this was definitely one of them.

Simon: 🦔

Silence lay heavy across the dark country lane, disturbed only by the hissing of a newly crumpled car radiator.

“Unfucking believable” Simon muttered, perched on the rise of dirt that bordered the ditch his car was currently head first in.

He watched, hands twitching, as the hedgehog that caused him to swerve continued its slow plod across the road.

“Stupid spikey cunt” he thought, wondering just how mad Price is going to be that he’s totalled his 3rd job car this year.

John: 🪿 (I know it’s a swan, best I could do)

It took police 8 minutes to respond to the call at the beach. Concern for safety, said the log, for a man shouting at the sky. On arrival they were presented with old mutton chops himself, screaming at a seagull perched on the lifeguard post.

“You fucking feathery fucking cunting bastard, you wait till I get my hands on you, I’m going to rip you wing from wing you utter cunt”

The seagull, completely unbothered by the noise, continued to peck at the cigar it had mistaken for a sausage.

Johnny: 🐿️

“Ach ya wee prick” Johnny hollered, only managing to get to his feet by the time the squirrel had scaled the tree. A picnic in the forest seemed like a good date idea until his homemade trail-mix was clocked by the local wildlife.

“Johnny it’s fine, just come and sit down” his beau soothed.

“Naw. It’s the principle of the matter. Those walnuts were fucking expensive” he replied, never taking his eyes off the bushy tailed target hopping between branches.,

Johnny didn’t get a second date. Nor did he get his nut back. Apparently spending twenty minutes jumping to swipe at a squirrel and cussing out its da’ gave them ‘the ick’

#task force 141 #cod 141 #141 headcanons #simon riley #john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick

234 notes · View notes

writingoddess1125 · 5 months

Text

Texas State Fair

TF 141 + Alejandro going to the Texas State fair with Gigs

Just me on my Crack Head Shit again! Don't take anything seriously

Support me on Ko-Fi

• After a far too hard of a mission you decided the guys all needed to lay low and get a fun treat- So you took them to your home to stay till their flights back over the pond.

• Back at your home you had them set up in your guest rooms and livingroom.

• Of course treated them with the upmost hospitality you decided to let them have a little fun.

• Starting of course with a hearty breakfast for the bunch

• "Fucking Hell-" Simon grumbled as he saw the damn platters of food. Eggs, Hashbrown, Grits, Biscuits, Pancakes, bacon, sausage, sausage gravy and some fruits you had lying around.

• "This is a scone-" Gaz said as he held the buttermilk biscuit in hand, Earning a hard glare from you.

• "Just eat the dam' thing" You shot back at him with a glare, the man grumbling before taking a bite and freezing.

• A hint of a smile going over his lips as he finished off the pastry quickly-

• Fucking thought so-

• Each one of them tucking into the hearty breakfast at hand and clearly had favorites.

• Alejandro enjoyed the hashbrowns with over easy eggs

• Price enjoying the grits quite a bit with scrambled

• Gaz dogging out the Biscuits and Gravy.

• Soap ate his stack of Pancakes in delight along side the mountain of Aunt Jemima syrup

• And Simon ate essentially everything but you noticed he liked to make sandwiches with his food using the biscuits.

• "Alright boys, ready to be tourist today?"

• You say cheerfully and watch their eyes get big-

• This was going to be fun - For you

• Maybe lucky was just on your side but you'd taken them to the Texas State Fair. Getting them civilian clothes from Walmart which they had a trip going through.

• Ending up at the Fair after a nice drive in your old truck you smile as the guys get hit with the wave of people and games laid before them. It was absolutely massive

• Deciding to just get the christening over with you take them to the Pits- Getting them to try that years contestants and pit masters specialties from each stall.

• Them almost losing their minds when they saw the prices-

• You of course needing to flex your home so it wasn't a problem as you handed them the paper plates.

• Simon took a peice of the meat and slipped it under his mask first. You see his eyes widen at the taste as he continued to pick through the damn thing at quick speeds. The rest following suite.

• Price Having a damn good time with the smoked sausages as he acted like he hadnt had breakfast. Even if you knew the poor old man would have some heartburn after this.

• Drifting through the fair you showed them all the fusions in for the big contest- which had defiently been hit or miss by your guys standards.

• Alejandro speaking to some stall members as they gave him some stuff to try free and trying different fusions of some things he grew up on.

• A Froot Loop Shrimp doing Gaz in as he damn near lost his Breakfast and BBQ after a bite.

• The favorites among the men being a smothered Torta which they all demolished.

• Which you were greatful for since your wallet was defiently starting to burn-

• Soaps eyes however handed on the Funnel Cake stand and you of course bought him one.

• Soap had the biggest sweet tooth out of the bunch and looked at the Funnel Cake like it was the second coming of God.

• "Ay Fuc ya thats good-" Soap said as he took a bite of the Funnel Cake and gave laugh. You could practically see the sugar rush setting into the Scotsman.

• After a few hours of running you get to the drink stands, Deciding some liquor was in order.

• "Bitc' about it an I'll clock y'u" You warned pointedly at them. Which made him shut up and drink the beers provided.

• From some shots, to Margaritas and then of course a river of beer ready for you all.

• " 'merican Beer is disgustin" Soap grumbled as he looked at the light colored liquid set infront of him by you.

• After the drinks, the alcohol clearly getting to the men as they went to play some games.

• Releasing highly trained soldiers out to kiddy Fair games was probably the worse decision ever- Like setting a Olympian to a athletic competition.

• Winning time and time again each game, getting the biggest prizes or even cash at times.

• By the end of night the men were full and ready to sleep for the next 3 days. You driving them all the way back to your home and smiling as you saw the pile of hardened soilders passed out in the back of your truck like children.

• Sharp shooting, Darts, Ring Ross, Test of Strength-

• Every. GOD. DAMN. GAME.

• By the end each man had a clear plastic bag full to the brim with shit and most was offered to you. The giant bull stuffed animal as big as you being as much evidence-

• This leading to more drinks of course-

• When the rides came however they were well drunk- You feeling like you were watching a group of 6ft+ Toddlers wreck havoc over the fair as they dragged their prizes and went on Faris wheels and mini rides.

188 notes · View notes

mrsmiagreer · 11 months

Text

Favorite Redacted quotes but the list gets longer everytime I find a new one

“And the energizer bunny…Takes a tumble” -Milo

“Is this why you put up with my memes and shit? Because i gotta big dick and a great ass??” - Guy

“WHAT ECHO?!” — ALL OF REDACTED aka echo

“Do you love me?” — Imp!Damien

“Keep his name out of your FUCKING mouth” -Sam

“Laying in comfortable silence, hands roaming lazily betwixt our supine bodies, tracing gentle patterns across supple skin…Yes that was all about my eyes😂” — Guy

“This isn’t like a dog or something. Like normal wolves are big. Shifter wolves are even bigger…and i’m on the bigger end of that too” -David

“Is David being a total groomzilla about your side? Oop— Heard that-” Asher

“But I bet I’d lay down for it” — Vincent

“Make it two” —Sam

“Great deal on a large sausage” —Guy

“Will you marry me, Angel?” —David

“….Isn’t that right??” “Heyyy no tickling!!” — Gavin and Caelum

“No not just yes…say the words…say the whole thing” —Vincent

“Ohh— You are getting close! Hi! Hi baby….I love youuu” —Guy

“We are NOT matching. I am wearing my work clothes, YOU’RE wearing contraband” — David

“someone please get the gentleman a door prize”— Blake

“I was thinking a little less nature documentary and little more battle bots you know like i want you to just fucking SNAP me like a twig😭” -Guy

“No! You can’t tell me I taste good >:(” — Lasko

“Who are you and what have you done with my lover??” — Guy

“I know baby I know” — Milo

“Staaapppp you’re being rude… Yes RUDE you heard me!” —Guy

“…..do it— hmmmMmMmMmm okay okay….That had a little less finesse than i’m used to” —Milo

“You know what wordplay reminds me of? Tounge twisters!! And you know what tongue twisters remind me of? Tongue kissing!! Let’s explore that topic shall we?” —Guy

“The goal is healin me, you can’t be hittin me at the same time” —Milo

“Show me that wagon ya draggin sexy uehh” -Guy

“Who’s that bitch we hate?” — Asher

“Any hole is a goal” — Guy

“Just move your ass…..hmm i didn’t mean to move it quite like that but you’ll get no complaints outta me” —David

“My mouth is good for a lot more than just…talkin” —Milo

“It’s our bedroom….It’s our bed” —Geordi

“Hey Baaaaabyy” —Ollie

“I’ve sat with these feelings long enough to know how to manage them I promise” —Blake

“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” —David

“I cant be another mistake…because it’ll break me” —Blake

“I’m sure seeing him is like….like those healing classes. A nice diversion😊” —President Moore

“Milo…play nice” — Imp!Asher

“You don’t have to order anyone to do it…Just take volunteers” — Imp!Milo

“I just set my fucking curtains on fire” -Damien

“Who taught you how to do healing magic?? A construction worker with a jackhammer?!” —Milo

“You’re taking me so fucking good” —Milo

“I’m trying to get off of you…I don’t wanna crush you” —David

“Awe yeah i often walk into work with shotgun shells in my fucking brief case” —Milo

“I cant read your mind baby” — Vincent

“Welcome home my love. How was your day?” -Gavin

“Park it on me Sweetheart” — Milo

“That does not feel like searching for a key Lovely” —Vincent

“Do i need to set this stuff down or are you gonna behave?” —Vincent

“Yeah, no thinking about work today. Or we’ll come over there and kick your ass” —Milo

“Hey…sorry i’m late” —Blake

“Do I look like i care??” —Blake

“I’m a grown ass man” —Milo

“I DON’T whimper…” —Damien

“You know what we do to…Bad Boyss around here—💀💀💀” —Guy

“Did I really just get drive by kink shamed??!” —Asher

“Awweee poor baby” —Asher

“Keep it in your pants you two. I already mopped this morning😒” —David

“…boop” —Sam

“I don’t want this for you baby” —Milo

“Boot Licker” —Milo

“I’ll always find you” —Avior

“Wexler, Greer is causing problems at the west entrance” — That One Guard😭

“That wasn’t rhetorical. Answer me” —Imp!Damien

“I love you more than human words can convey” —Gavin

“Yes baby” —Gavin

“Ruth Holland are you here? Hello? Hello?” —Milo

“Fuck, bounce on my fucking dick” — Guy

“Moan. They moaned. You moaned.” — Geordi

“Pfftttt hahaha- Okay— WuHwuhWwaA—” — Guy

“This isn’t happening!!” — Ivan

“I don’t like you, and I’m not going to” — Alexis

“Hold still i’ll grab you one of mine” — Milo

“Bad. Worse. Better.” — Vincent

“Go kick that ass….champ? Oh God-” — Lasko

“No can do baby” -Huxley

“I’m just fucking with you” — Sam Collins

“I needa stop saying fuck. Fuck. Sorry. And i needa stop saying sorry. fuck. sorry. FUCK i mean FUCK so— oh fuck😭 Oh my god i am such an idiot” — Lasko

“I wanna touch” — Stranger/Caller/John..?

“Fuck! Fuck me—” — Lasko Moore

“Can I cum on you?” — Milo Greer

“I am not gonna have ants runnin round my house cause of you😭” — Sam Collins

“It is not funny, you FUCK” — Milo Greer

“I’ll spank your ass brat. Not like it’d be the first time. Or the last.” — Milo Greer

“You’ll be safe” — Blake

“Well of course it’s gaudy. I made it” — Gavin

“Shit Darlin. You really weren’t gonna say anything about this?” — Sam Collins

“It’s all good” — Huxley

“I hate to make a guy lose his fuckin’ noodles” — Milo Greer

“Where do you want these fangs baby?” — Sam Collins

“Do you have any idea just how much energy is coming off of you right now?” — Fool!Gavin

“Sorry” —Fool!James

“I gotta go faster before i start…fucking…crying or something😭” — Asher

(I will be updating this list when i find/remember new ones😊)

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted shaw pack #redacted solaire clan #redacted damn crew #redacted balance #redacted guy #redacted ollie

555 notes · View notes

skele-ghost · 19 days

Text

Baby, it’s Hot Outside: Part 2 (electric bugaloo)

MDNI, 18+, Warnings: Omegaverse, illness, being sick, near-death experience (NDE)

Masterlist

You’re quite adamant that you’re not in heat. It’s impossible. But you are sick with something, so you let Soap put you on bed rest. He gives you extra blankets, which you find odd since you’re hotter than hell, but they do make the floor a little more comfortable underneath your sleeping bag.

When you wake up it’s the evening, and you feel like you’ve taken the worst nap of your life. The sunset shines orange and gold rays into the little cabin, illuminating enough to still see what’s inside. And what’s missing.

Soap is a few feet away, reading a book with one of those silly headlamps.

“Where’s my equipment?”

He startles, quickly turning to you. “Ah, you’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Where’s my equipment?” You repeat as scoots over to you, opening and offering a bottle of water.

“Gaz took it to he and Price’s cabin,” Soap explains while you gulp down the water, quenching your thirst. “Just for convenience.”

“I’m not going into heat,” you grumble, sitting up and wincing at the ache in your skull.

“Yeah? How do you feel?”

You whimper, “like shit. Like the flu, but not the flu.”

“Lay back down,” Soap urges you, a hand on your shoulder. You do as he says, eyes shut in discomfort. “Just sleep it off, angel.”

You hope that you can.

—

You can’t. You get the distinct feeling that this isn’t something you can sleep off as you wake next. You don’t know what time it is, but daylight has already broken.

Something else is different, and it takes a moment to register that it’s you. Your cheeks are flushed but not because you’re hot—well, it is because you’re hot, but not in the temperature way.

You don’t think you’ve ever been so horny in your entire life. You squirm to get some friction between your legs, and it’s like your body has produced a whole bottle of lube in your pants. You buck your hips but the sensation makes your stomach roll and you grimace.

Footsteps sound on the porch and the screen door opens, revealing Soap once more. You look up at him through half lidded eyes, frowning.

“Heya, bonnie,” he greets, crouching down next to you with a plate in his hands. “Do ya think you could eat for me?”

The smell makes your stomach curdle. Vienna sausages, fresh out of the can. You’d all been subsisting on it for a week, and you normally have no qualms about them. The barbecue ones were great.

But the smell of meat right now is torture. You shake your head.

“Please? Just a little bit, you need to get some food in you,” Soap pleads.

Thinking about eating it is worse, so much worse. “I’ll throw up on you if you don’t take that away,” you manage, your voice raspy.

Soap’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Alright, alright! Rice, then?”

You eat maybe a cup of rice before your stomach insists it’s had enough—sipping on water calms it a little, and you fall asleep once more.

—

You wake up crying. That’s never happened to you before, and you’re not sure why you’re crying until someone’s hands are on you.

Your bones ache. It’s like having your own personal migraine in every one of your extremities, and you sob at the sensation.

“Go! Get a couple of Ghost’s shirts, and a blanket, just make sure it has his scent on it!” Soap orders from above you.

You can hardly see him through your tears or hear him through your sobs and pleas. His hands are on either side of your face, trying to wipe the tears away as they come.

“Shh, (Y/N), I know it hurts, darlin,” he mutters to you. “Gaz’ll be right back and we’ll make you feel better, alright? Take some deep breaths for me, you ain’t breathing right.”

You try but it’s moot. All you can manage is to beg him to make it stop and tell him how much it hurts, which doesn’t improve anything.

Footsteps pound on the floor and then someone presses something up under your nose. It smells woodsy and musky and also a little minty; somehow, it makes the aching dull down.

But it causes a new kind of problem as you calm down, tears drying up and your breathing evening out: it makes you horny again, but also lonely?

It’s something you’ve never felt before, a painful aching in the chest, like missing someone, longing for them in a way that has you almost in tears. It makes you whine.

You hardly even register Soap laying down beside you and pulling you into his arms. He smells like it, too, and you snuggle into him, laying your head against his chest.

A stone of guilt is sitting heavy in your gut, however.

“Soap?” You ask, your voice sounding pitiful and whiny to your ears.

“I’m here, hen,” he says, a hand smoothing down your sweat-soaked back.

“Is Ghost gonna kill me for this?”

He freezes for a moment, “what’re you talking about, angel?”

“We’re having an affair.”

Soap laughs and your brow furrows.

“Ghost isn’t gonna get jealous of you, bonnie. He knows you need someone right now—and he don’t mind sharing, either.”

“Oh,” you say in reply, mind too boggled to really wrap itself around that.

“Close your eyes, darlin, get some sleep. You’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

—

Soap’s a fucking liar.

It feels like you’re baking in a hot car—it’s the hottest, most humid day in history, and you’re sitting in a black car in a blacktop parking lot, and you’re dying.

It’s suffocating, and you can’t will yourself to move or open your eyes. It’s dark but you feel like the sun is beaming down on you full blast. You skin feels like fire and your blood is hot, too, pumping like magma down the side of a volcano.

You’re dying, you’re certain of that—but you don’t have any time to think about it as you feel yourself slipping deeper into the darkness.

—

A/N: I remember spending days writing this. And it’s so short, what the hell. Also, I think it’s only called magma when it’s inside the volcano and it’s lava when it’s outside, but ‘magma’ sounds better.

#cod mw2 #cod x reader #task force 141 #cod omegaverse #omegaverse au #omegaverse #cod x fem!reader #cod x you #cod gaz #cod price #cod soap #cod ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #141 x reader #baby it’s hot outside

116 notes · View notes

ylskquevmxv · 1 year

Text

British insight for those military men fics

Coming from a British person

Use this for your angsty british backstory

Will include:

-insight to healthcare and low income situations

- opinions on the royal family (all negative)

- british food

- talks about home life and low income

• none of them would care for the queens death. They would not be mourning, they would not be sad, they're not tories. If anything theyd be glad and wishing death upon the rest of them. The monarchy sucks the only downside is that we have Charles and camilla now. Diana rest in peace

• to add on to this they wouldnt care for the coronation they would most likely insult it, they probably hate the entire royal family like almost all of the entire uk does. I am repeating this again but they are NOT tories 🚫nuh uh🚫 stop painting, price, gaz and ghost as people who love the royals while soap hates them 💀💀 they all hate the monarchy

• they most likely wouldnt drink fancy tea Pg, Yorkshire, tetley etc are their go to because that's what most of the uk drink especially low income houses as it's the cheapest. Taste of home I guess.

• also they're not out here eating beans on toast whenever they get the chance💀 they're probably eating an entire meal because they're giant men??? Like beans on toast is what parents give to their kids because it's cheap and fills them up, the only time they're having beans is with:

1) breakfast

2) jacket potatoes

3) sasauge and mash

4) Gregg's bean and sausage pasties

• also soap probably eats beans too?? I've seen fics where hes wholeheartedly against beans like??? Hes Scottish?? I know he ate beans as a kid, no one grows up and decides to have a mohawk otherwise

• they're all meat and potatoes type of men (like all british men) that's it. That's the facts

• fries =/= chips

• also british people are like really lazy when they speak

"would you like a cup of tea?"= "fancy a cuppa?"

"I'm just not in the mood to do that" = "cant be arsed"

"How are you?" = "ya alright?"

"Should we get some Chinese/Indian/Italian/etc food?" = "you want a chinese/Indian/italian/etc?"

• we tend to just drop words off In sentences because the person were talking to probably already understands what we mean and because like I said we're lazy

• British accents also vary so much!!! Even if you're from the same street you'll probably have a different accent and we also swear a lot, we also use a bunch of mixed slang as thete are people from everywhere over here (poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Lithuania, india named from just my class)

• Irish travellers are also really common so their would probably be a few in recruitment idk why people dont add Irish people to their fics ?? maybe they fear putting Scotts and irish people together (watch big fat gypsy wedding for more insight I used to love that show)

• Aussies understand us pretty well (shout out to my uncle Andy) a lot of our language dialects are pretty similar and our humour is both pretty dry and blunt

• also British people dont care for like anything?? Even tho we have free healthcare most of us just slap a wet paper towel on it and call it a day. The most reaction you'll get is a room temperature ice pack

• british teeth are also something that Americans dont really understand since we have free healthcare but I'll they to simplify it. our Healthcare is free and so is dental care but only if you're younger than 16 except for check ups etc and unfortunately alot of us are born into low income households whose parents are a)mentally unwell b) physically unwell c) involved with drugs or are just simply neglectful so that means a lot of us arent taken to the dentist and by the time we are old enough to take ourselves we would have to pay for it and some of us just dont have the money for things like braces

• also I really want to see someone include chavs/roadmen in their stories because i think it would be funny plus some of them are really nice and genuinely curious when asking

• there are things called council houses/ council estates and they arent the nicest places to live and are usually not in the best shape but it's a place to sleep, most of the people who live there are usually people who live on benefits and are really lovely (might be biased I used to live in one tho), you usually have to top up on gas and electric every so often via a card (gas) and a key (for electric) usually able to get these topped up from you local corner shop

• alot of the nosies we make are as if we're cave men

*throws paper ball into trash*

Anyone in a 5mile radius: WOOOOO

• we also make up chants alot?? Idk why but we're just a musical country usually has something about your mum, your nan, a nonce, or one of the many other british wonders *nonce = pedo

• our beauty standards are a lot less extreme like theres obviously beauty standards but there are a lot more regular looking people on tv over here rather than supermodels ?? I've been to America and some of the people on tv you'd swear they were made in a factory for hot people only. Let people be regular

• British tv has a commercial every 15 minutes or so and our commercials dont offer lawyers or medication, some our commercials have songs, silly gags in them or are terrifying (check out: money supermarket, the antibiotic song, the meerkat adverts just to name a few)

• our eggs are orange not yellow

•our sandwiches have butter on them (not all but most) + brits arent much of foodies we just eat to survive really especially during the cost of living

• our drinking culture is a big thing over here, a lot of us start drinking around 13

• we have stores like asda, tesco, lidl, aldi, iceland, sainsburys and big Tesco, corner shops are really common depending on if they're owned by a large company or not some of them arent in perfect shape and are run my people from other countries but they have good stuff so who cares about how they look

• you have to be 16 to buy an energy drink and 18 to buy alcohol/ cigarettes

• outside cats are a thing, they're not homeless they just come as they go

• for some reason people are really classist?? Because how dare the poor be alive, and I'm not talking about just rich people being bad to the poor if you have bad living conditions expect to be made fun of by other low income people 💀 you'll be lucky if yoire funny because otherwise you will just be getting bullied.

•our weather is pretty much grey, our grass is almost never fully green and usually patchy, our summers are so hot they cause wild fires because we have no humidity and no air con, our winters are a hit or miss either too cold or a regular day

• tv shows that most of us call soaps: eastenders, coronation street, emmadale and hollyoaks

• some uk shows, naked attraction, snog marry avoid, friday night dinner, bad education, plebs, come dine with me, him & her, some girls, the Keith lemon show, gavin and stacey, not british but Derry girls, inbetweeners, anything with philomena cunk in it, the great british bake off

• Some documentaries (ish) for those who love information: old people homes for four year old, emergency, educating greater Manchester, educating Cardiff, poor kids, anything with stacey Dooley or louis theroux in

• it's kinda hard to describe the uk to someone whose never witnessed or experienced it.

#simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #soap x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #simon riley x reader #big beefy british military men #call of duty x reader #cod x reader

528 notes · View notes

cottonlemonade · 7 days

Text

That Time I Made My Brother Hide In The Bathroom To Talk To A Girl

word count: 876 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: post-time skip Atsumu x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: spoilers

a/n: this is a continuation of How You Met but can be read as a standalone

______________________________

Atsumu was pouting.

Not only had he played one of the best games of his life when he spotted that cute chubby girl from the bus stop in the ranks but during a timeout he had snuck over to your stand and called over the cheering crowd if you‘d wanna grab dinner with him. And you got all bushy again and told him you‘d love to! (Actually, you had only nodded and mouthed “Okay“ but that was a technicality.)

And now this! During the fifth set Bokuto had stumbled when he landed after a spike and crashed into him. Long story short, Atsumu‘s arm was now in a sling and he was stuck in a stupid hospital on this stupid Saturday when he was supposed to wow you with his infinite charm tonight.

Wallowing in self-pity, he threw his head back on the pillow and groaned loudly.

A nurse opened the door, professional concern in her tone.

“Are you in pain, sir?“

“Physically or mentally?“, he asked, eyes still closed.

“Uhm… I see. Well, call if you need anything.“

And she left again.

He wanted to grab his phone to reread your (rather short) chat for the 6th time that day but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Well, ya look like crap.“

“Samu! What‘re ya doin‘ here?“

“I saw yer incredibly subtle Instagram story. How yer feelin‘?“

“Fine.“, Atsumu mumbled but pointed at his right arm, “Just sucks, ya know.“

Then he sniffed the air and his face brightened a little.

“Did ya bring me food?“

Osamu grinned and took off his backpack to produce mountains of Atsumu‘s favorites.

“Yer the best, thank you.“

But just as Osamu was setting up the little food tray next to his bed, Atsumu perked up.

Through the window of the door he spotted a cute chubby figure currently talking with the head nurse at the reception desk, a bundle in her hands that looked suspiciously like food.

“Ya gotta hide.“

Osamu frowned.

“What?“

“Quick, quick! Come on, hide!“

“Why, what‘s goin’ on?“

“Come on, I‘ll explain later. Hide in the bathroom or somethin’.“, Atsumu urged.

Osamu was way too used to his twin‘s antics to question it much further and so headed towards the ensuite but Atsumu hissed, “Take the food with ya, quickly!“

“Ya gotta be kiddin‘…“

But he picked up the tray and as instructed made his way to the bathroom. Not a second too soon.

Atsumu had just put on his best “beaten hero“ face, filled with sorrow and pain, when the door opened a third time and you stepped in. In the reflection of the window he saw how flushed your cheeks were and how awkwardly you held the bundle. You were just too cute. But he closed his eyes and took a deep theatrical breath before turning to face you.

“Oh, y/n. What are ya doing here?“

“I thought you must be disappointed that you couldn‘t finish the game yesterday and… yeah. Plus, we were supposed to see each other today. I‘m sorry if this is too forward, but I brought some food to help you recover.“

Beaten heroes didn‘t squeak. They didn‘t giggle, nor kick their feet.

Atsumu took a deep breath to compose himself. “No no, yer cute. - I mean, this is very sweet of ya, thanks. Have a seat.“

He nodded to the side of his bed.

“Do you have a tray somewhere?“, you asked, looking around.

“Uhm, no, I think the nurses took it after breakfast. A-and“, he added quickly because it looked like you were about to get up to ask for a new one, “I‘m sure I‘ll be fine without one.“

“Alright then.“, you opened the bundle to produce a large square lunch box. When you opened it, steam rose from the fluffy rice, packed neatly next to the eggroll with sausage, grilled meats, pickled vegetables and fruit.

“Looks delicious.“, he said excitedly and tried to pick up the chopsticks with his left hand. When that didn‘t quite work out he swapped to the spoon but even that he could tell must have looked very awkward.

“Could… ya help me out?“, he asked with a small smile and you nodded, taking the spoon from him and scooping up some rice, then adding some meat on top.

When you lifted it to his lips, your hand was shaking so much that it was difficult for him to catch, so he brought up his left and closed it around yours, to keep it steady. Making eye contact for absolutely no reason but his own personal entertainment of seeing you blush, he held your gaze as he closed his mouth around the bite.

“Oh wow.“, he said while chewing, cheeks puffed and eyes widened in surprise, “This is really good!“

You smiled brightly and relaxed, loading up the next spoon.

____________

Meanwhile

Osamu sat on the bathroom floor, working his way through the lavish meal he had prepared for his brother, trying not to gag when he heard Atsumu flirting up a storm in the next room.

At some point he got so bored that he swapped the contents of his brother‘s shampoo and shower gel, making a mental list of all the ways Atsumu owed him for this.

______________________________

✨ @coffeesncats ✨

#atsumu x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #chubby reader #haikyuu fluff #msby atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #hq atsumu #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #hq fluff

137 notes · View notes

impala-dreamer · 2 months

Text

Let's Dance

A Story from The Boys Universe

~If there's one thing she knows, it's that she fucking hates Soldier Boy. If there's one thing he knows, it's that he can change her mind.~

Soldier Boy (Ben) x F!Reader

1,650 Words

Warnings: Show typical grossness and sexual situations. NSFW. Amazing Soldier Boy sex talk...

A/N: Written for @jacklesversebingo "someone gets punched"

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist ~ Patreon ~ Published Works

There was moaning coming from the next room. Loud, sensual moaning, followed by a deep chuckle.

Butcher rolled his eyes and sighed.

Y/N and Hughie looked at each other with cringes on their faces. Even after all this time, after all the crap they’d been through, there were still things that shocked them, and what lay beyond the bedroom door would send them both into a tizzy.

For different reasons.

Butcher opened the door wide and groaned at the sight.

Soldier Boy was standing next to the big bed, bare beneath a silk robe. He had one muscular leg up on the frame, the other bouncing slightly as he jerked himself off. Naked women crawled on the bed before him, putting on a show that he was clearly enjoying.

Hughie immediately turned his gaze away, but Y/N was trapped. Something about the way his shoulder was moving, the way his back muscles flexed beneath the silk, had her captivated. She felt a wave of desire wash through her and she gasped.

Soldier Boy looked over his shoulder at the intruders, specifically Y/N. “Like what you see, doll?”

Her mind told her to hurl, but her body told her to hop onto the bed and join in.

“Fuck off!” she snapped, making a show of turning away while keeping one eye on him.

He winked. The son of a bitch winked and it was all Y/N could do to keep her knees from buckling.

“Yeah, yeah. You know you want some of this,” he laughed. “And you-” He turned a bit more and jabbed a finger toward Hughie. “Keep watching. You’ll learn a few things.”

Appalled, Hughie straightened up and shook his head awkwardly. “You- you’ll learn something, you- jerk.”

“Nice one,” Ben taunted. “Limp dick little bastard.”

Having had enough, Butcher stepped up and carefully but forcefully grabbed one of the women’s arms, tugging her up off of the bed.

“Excuse us, will ya lass?”

The women bolted out of the door, plump backsides and bare breasts jiggling as they went.

Ben huffed. “What the fuck, we were just gettin’ started.” He dropped his leg and turned towards the trio, fully exposed and unashamed. His cock was hard and long, hanging down between his legs and angled slightly to the left.

Y/N’s mouth watered and her pussy throbbed. Her stomach also churned, which she decided was a good thing since Soldier Boy was probably riddled with so many STDs that one drop of cum could wipe out a major city.

“You’ve been in here for hours,” Butcher corrected. “Time’s up. We’ve got shit to do.”

Ben smirked and shifted on his bowed legs, spreading them wide and tilting his hips forward just a bit. Green eyes honed in on Y/N and she stiffened.

“I think we can spare a few more minutes. Don’t you, Y/N/N?”

She swallowed hard and sucked in a heavy breath. “What? No.”

He grinned. “I don’t believe you.” He took a step closer. “In fact, I think your sweet little tutu is just soaked right now, isn’t she?”

Her brows raised in shock. “Excuse me?”

He moved closer, his dick swaying with each step.

“Got the love lube flowing. Your little clitty is throbbing. Pretty snatch just dripping for me.”

Her cheeks burned, fists clenched.

Soldier Boy puckered his lips, looking her over as he leaned in close.

“Betcha want me to fill up that juicy sausage wallet with my massive-”

Her fist connected with his jaw and he jolted back, more from shock than anything else.

He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender.

“OK, OK… I get it. Little Miss is a prude.”

Y/N seethed. “I’m not a prude, you jackass. You’re just a first class piece of shit. Shoulda left you frozen in that hell hole till doomsday!”

He laughed again and she lunged at him, ready to claw his perfectly beautiful eyes out.

Thankfully, Hughie grabbed her just in time, his skinny arm barring her from starting a fight she clearly couldn’t win.

Kicking and screaming, he lifted her off of her feet and out of the room, slamming the door closed behind them.

“I’mma kill him,” she warned, eyes shooting daggers through the door.

Hughie sighed. “We’d all love to, believe me. But we need him.”

“Yeah,” she barked at the door, “like a hole in the head!”

Streams of pale gray smoke curled in the air, wrapping around the lower branches and mixing with the aroma of the forest.

Y/N felt like she was following a skunk.

Half a mile in, she coughed and waved a hand in front of her face. “Do you really have to keep blowing that in my face?”

“Can’t help where the fucking wind blows,” he retorted, barely finishing the words before taking another long drag on his joint.

Disgusted, she pushed past him, deliberately knocking into his arm with her shoulder. “You could be less obnoxious about it,” she huffed.

Soldier Boy licked his lip and glared at her ass as she stepped in front of him to take the lead.

“What is your problem?”

She froze and spun in place, leaves crunching beneath her feet.

“My problem?”

He pursed his lips and deep dimples popped on either side. “Yeah. You’ve been riding my jock since the day I met you, giving me a hard time for fucking breathing.”

Again, her hands clamped into fists and she let out a seething breath.

“You are a disgusting, horribly warped, uninteresting, ridiculously clueless, sexist-”

“Whoa now.” He held up a finger. “I am not sexist. I fucking love women. All kinds of women. Old, young, fat, thin-” He paused, a slick smile creeping over his face. “Bitchy sluts like you…”

Something about the way he stared into her made her heart race. His towering height kept his eyes aimed down so that dark lashes fanned out over the green of his eyes. Freckles danced over the apples of his cheekbones; wet, pink lips puckered whenever he spoke.

She fucking hated him. He was absolutely, one thousand percent, the most… amazingly horrid… awesomely… handsome man she’d ever encountered.

Fuck.

“You could be hot,” he continued, lifting the joint to his lips. “If you gave a shit. Maybe get yourself one of those fancy push-up bras, put some fucking make up on; make an effort.” He took a pull and let the smoke out in a tight stream right into her face.

She cringed.

He grinned.

She reared back and took a chance, sending all of her strength into her arm and hoping to make some kind of dent, in his ego if not his face.

Ben grabbed her fist, completely covering her hand in his. He absorbed the blow and tightened his fingers around her hand.

“You really love doing that, don’t you?”

Y/N tried to twist her hand from his, but his grip was absolute. “Let me go.”

He laughed. “So you can hit me again?”

She glared. “Maybe.”

His hold loosened and he shrugged. “I could be into that.”

Slowly, his eyes swept down over her body and her pussy throbbed, betraying everything she was trying to hide behind her outward disgust.

“Fuck you,” she bit, wrenching her arm away.

“Yeah?” He smirked and dropped the end of his joint onto the dirt. “Come on, doll.” He opened his arms, crooked his fingers, daring her to take another swing. “Let’s dance.”

Another strike defended by his right arm.

A hard kick blocked by his left.

A slap to his chest; hot fingers wrapped around her wrist. A blow to his stomach, caught by his free hand.

She was locked in his grasp once again, but this time, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

She sneered, he growled.

She leaned in, he attacked.

His tongue was intrusive and wet. He tasted like whiskey and forty years of captive sexual frustration.

“You’re disgusting.”

He pushed her back into the nearest tree. She gasped.

“You keep saying that, but I don’t think you mean it.”

She spread her legs for his knee, parted her lips for his tongue.

“I can’t fucking stand you.”

He pumped his leg up against her, held both wrists tight in one massive hand locked above her head.

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m about to make you love me.”

She melted against him, pinned against the hard, sharp bark of the tree trunk and the solid, warm bulk of his imposing body.

“Doubt it.”

He pawed at her breasts, licked at the pulsing vein in her throat.

“You’ll be craving me for the rest of your fucking life after this.”

Her eyes rolled; her breath caught. Her cunt fluttered on his thick fingers.

The orgasm hit her so fast, she wasn’t prepared. Her mind blanked as she came, no snappy comeback formed in her head. She slumped against the tree and lifted her mouth to his, wanting more, needing all of him so suddenly that it should have scared her.

“See?” he chuckled. “Told ya.”

Her hips rocked against the bulge in his pants, and her body shivered.

“Please…”

He licked at her lips, swiped his thumb over her clit. “Begging already? You are a pathetic slut, aren’t you?”

“Yes…”

His voice dropped to a deep whisper that wound through her head like silk. “Want me to fuck you right here? Out in the open where anyone could walk by and see what a dirty whore you are for me?”

Every speck of will crumbled and her cunt tightened on his fingers. “Yes!”

He stared down and grinned. “I bet you would.”

Swiftly, he pulled away, leaving her an aching puddle against the tree. He adjusted his slacks and cleared his throat.

“Maybe later.” He turned away and started off back down the path. “We’ve got shit to do.”

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@akshi8278 @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @the-wounded-healer05

#the boys #fanfic #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you

147 notes · View notes