#come on tumblr show me in the tech tag
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15 questions, 15 10 some friends
i got tagged by: @queerbuck and @gentlebeard, thanks lovelies 🥰😘
ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
don't think so, no. my dad picked up my name somewhere on tv or radio..? and he really liked it. i must admit, it's a cool name bc it's unique, but i like my chosen nickname waaaay more. it's also gender neutral so 🤷🏻♀️
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
i rarely cry bc of Reasons but the last time was.. about 3 weeks ago, during a mental breakdown yay
DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
nope. also don't want kids. i'm not fit to be a parent.
WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?
not many. i hate exercise lol. did some archery lessons a few years ago - i even got pretty good at it but had to stop, bc it's an expensive hobby. oh and back when i was 15/16 years old i had some horse riding lessons, but that's it.
DO YOU USE SARCASM?
yeah, i think? not as much as i used to, tho.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
eyes, hair and smile, i think
WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?
blue-grey
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
fuck scary movies man. i hate horror. it's not my genre. it's not that i get scared easily... i just think they're boring. gimme all the happy endings pls.
ANY TALENTS?
overthinking (:
(my therapist would scold me for not putting something positive here, too, so... guess i'm a really good cook? it comes easily to me and i really enjoy it. does this count as a talent..?)
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
(northern) germany. komme aus dem echten norden.
WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
watching movies/shows/youtube, reading, playing video games, travelling, tech and computers, tumblr/fandom.... guess??
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
noo, not at the moment, sadly.
HOW TALL ARE YOU?
1.78m 🧍🏻♀️
FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
school was hell :) but i guess today it would be english, german, physics and history...?
DREAM JOB?
the one i'm doing/learning to do right now. i'm an IT specialist apprentice. :) (the guys you call when the printer doesn't work and who will ask you if you have turned it off and on again ehehe)
no pressure tags: @beccibarnes @underwhelmingalchemist @crowleyraejepsens @crowleyholmes @sherlockig @skinnyscottishbloke @wibbly-wobbly-blog @stedesbonnets and everyone else who wants to do it ✨️
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Weekend links
My posts
1) From earlier this week: “My ~longform posts are going somewhere else. Dreamwidth? Definitely previewed on Patreon and backed up there. Here’s an unlocked post about it. tl;dr: I know tech bros already scraped everything, but if you tell me you’re going to do it, I’m not gonna hand it to you. Maybe it’s a token effort, but there it is.” Of course I’ll still post links to new writing here.
2) Some people have March Madness. I now have the Hot & Vintage Movie Women tournament.
One of the best parts of the tournament (you may remember that Toshiro Mifune won the male matchup) is people reblogging and submitting pictures, further bio information, and personal anecdotes--that sense of the Tumblr collective scrapping for the pure love of their blorbos. I love Edwige Fenech’s eyes and her iconic eyeliner, and I had to step in when she went up against powerhouse Julie Andrews with only one small picture. No, I’m not letting Edwige go out like that. She won’t win, but the people must make their choice knowingly.
I also posted some pictures for Lady Tsen Mei, because I’d actually never heard of her and was curious. Also, because she’s going up against Musidora and that’s not an easy row to hoe, either. If you see matchups like that, where hotvintagepoll didn’t receive much to post about an actress--appealing to the people with a good picspam in the reblogs is where the fun comes in.
Bear in mind that running the tournament is an INCREDIBLE amount of work; this was Friday alone. Like, I don’t know the person who’s running this, but it couldn’t be me. They’re working with what they were sent, and here’s how we can be the propaganda we want to see in the world. I will jump in as necessary when Ava Gardner, Gene Tierney, Norma Shearer, Paulette Goddard, and (on my mom’s behalf) Julie Christie show up. But there’s 512 contenders, and it’s going to be a hard fight.
(I am now reblogging the polls at only one an hour, and when I fall behind, that just means that people who missed them can catch up. Each poll lasts a week, after all.)
Reblogs of interest
You are invited to the assassination of Julius Caesar! If you joined Tumblr during the various internet shakeups last year, you may not be aware that the Ides of March is a major Tumblr holiday. You need to be.
People have always been people: an immensely long collection that may make you cry.
Respect for the Welsh language
The “Fool in a Field” theory of life in the universe
A helpful guide to some common birds here in the western US
The Forbidden Colors
“You get to drive away”: A Tale
I was not ready for this development in the Fairy vs Walrus debate
(Did William Butler Yeats believe in fairies? An anecdote from my grad school days)
(”While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping”)
Video
“Recently I’ve been interested in what I’d like to call the historical lesbian wardrobe”
“This is the snake I’ve been looking for my entire life”
Angry kitten scolds water, slaps it for good measure
Cat plays theremin
A speedy boi who doesn’t need a bike to jump
The most relaxed tiger
The sacred texts
Yes, THAT Stinky Bastard Man
Personal tags of the week
I want to be clear that AI has incredible scientific uses and could be used voluntarily by writers and artists for their own experimental projects. That is... not what this AI tag is about.
Speaking of AI: truly, the Willy Wonka Experience debacle has been a DashCon for the 2020s.
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Meet Aether Beyond the Binary Contributors Flore Picard and Alec J. Marsh
We are 57% of the way to our funding goal for AETHER BEYOND THE BINARY, with 19 days to go!! This awesome anthology featuring non-binary and genderqueer characters in aetherpunk settings has been in the works for a year, and we’re optimistic that we’ll reach our funding target so that we can publish the book as an e-book, trade paperback, and hardcover. Slow and steady, race winning, you know the deal. 😀 Things have definitely slowed down, as is normal for this stage of the campaign, so just a note that we’d always appreciate your help with spread the word about this project so that more people will know it exists! You can find our “main” posts about the campaign on different platforms using these links:
Bluesky
Dreamwidth
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Mastodon
Patreon (public post)
Pillowfort
Tiktok
Tumblr
WordPress
Thanks in advance!!
You can learn all about the campaign, the book, the merch, and the authors, by visiting our Kickstarter campaign page!
And, today we’re introducing two more contributing authors: Flore Picard and Alec J. Marsh!
The Light Organ by Flore Picard
About Flore Picard: I’m a linguist and translator who lives in France and I have been itching to write since I learned how to. I started writing (fan)fiction more regularly when I was procrastinating on my PhD dissertation, and I haven’t looked back since. I’m also an artist who loves drawing both fanart and original art, and I have a passion for patterns and systems, for the beauty at the edge of chaos and the complexity of being human. I tend to write about queer and disabled characters finding themselves and each other and learning to take up space in the world.
Links: Instagram | Twitter
This is Flore’s first publication with Duck Prints Press.
Title: The Light Organ
Tags: angst with a happy ending, capitalism is the real villain, coming out, disabled character, emotional hurt/comfort, family, fraught family dynamics, illusion, in the closet, magic use, mechanic, musician, non-binary, parenthood, present tense, science fiction with magic, teenager, third person limited point of view, transphobia (mentions of) (past)
Excerpt:
“No, no, no—the organ, the light ring—it’s all about the imagination, not the mechanics,” Kas exclaims, gesturing widely to encompass the aether pool behind the glass.
“I’m just here for the tubes,” the tech—Gilbert—says flatly.
His face betrays no emotions, not even annoyance. Kas almost wishes he would yell or be rude, if only for the sake of feeling like they’re having an actual conversation, but Gilbert has always been polite. He just never seems to care.
“Fine,” Kas gives up. “We’ve got glitches. They started about a week ago. It could be a leaking tube, I’m not sure.”
“What kind of glitches?”
“It’s as if… as if the story stops responding to me. I know how that sounds, but I swear that’s what happens. It doesn’t last more than a few seconds, but it’s getting worse. Earlier, I powered everything up to tune it and it kept flickering.”
“Flickering,” Gilbert repeats, mumbling into his neatly trimmed beard.
Kas grabs a cane in each hand and makes their way to the organ’s seat. “I can show you.”
You’re Gonna Get Older by Alec J. Marsh
About Alec J. Marsh: Alec lives in the Pacific Northwest, where they write romantic adult fantasy and self-indulgent fanfiction. They make candles inspired by their favorite characters.
Links: Etsy | Instagram | Twitter
Alec is one of the editors for Aether Beyond the Binary and has also published multiple titles with Duck Prints Press. His novella To Drive the Hundred Miles (modern, f/m, trans male lead) was recently successfully crowdfunded and orders fulfilled. His two erotica stories Heart’s Scaffold (sci-fi, m/m) and Study Hall (modern academia, m/m) are part of the Contributor Short Story Bundle add-on.
Title: You’re Gonna Get Older
Tags: arranged marriage, christian, coming of age, coming out, cults, fraught family dynamics, friends, in the closet, lesbian, midwest, misgendering, non-binary, north dakota, past tense, post-apocalyptic, relationship of convenience, religion, song fic, teenager, third person limited pov, trans man, trans woman, transphobia
Excerpt:
There was a radio in the room, an old two-way they had found on their last visit and hidden in an empty supply closet. It was still there. They slid open the battery pack and snapped in a fresh battery from their aether lantern. Chips of the meteor had been encased in metal tubing to mimic the lithium batteries of the Before, but they were precious and had to be used sparingly. Stardancer knew better than to use precious energy on something this frivolous.
They popped the battery cover in place and pressed the power button. It crackled to life. They cradled it like it was made from glass. The dials made a tak-tak-tak noise as Stardancer scrolled through channels. Music came through softly. It faded in and out, cut through with static, but it was music, and not the kind made on an acoustic guitar. They adjusted the antenna and turned up the volume.
It was like nothing they had heard before, fast paced with a heavy beat. Even over the fuzzy AM connection, it was invigorating. They wanted to dance. They wanted to sing along with words they had never heard before. The singer screamed their triumph, and Stardancer felt invincible.
There's no time like right now to become a backer and help us reach 100% funded! Check it out!
#aetherpunk#aether beyond the binary#aether punk#duck prints press#story teaser#alec j. marsh#alecjmarsh#flore picard#crowdfunding#queer crowdfunding#queer owned business
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Ame's TMNT Masterpost
To keep everything together for not only anyone who comes across this hot mess but also for me, I have created this post. ORGANIZATION.
My general blog is @amevello-blue, where I reblog stuff including fanart for the stories I do! I also have a [Ko-Fi] if you're interested in giving me a tip.
Fanfics
Mystic Forest - A fan reboot of TMNT where the turtles were raised in the quarantined forest where they were mutated near New York City. You can also find a bunch of stuff over at @wondrous-art, who co-writes! [Read it!] [Tag!]
Please Just Let Them Hug - A canon compliant 2003 series where I write about the off-screen recovery and domestic things happening between episodes. [Read It!] [Tag!]
The Tortoise and the Hare - A canon divergent 2003 series where Leo and Usagi are definitely gay and start dating. [Read It!] [Art Tag!]
No Room for Dying - Sequel to "The Tortoise and the Hare", taking place during the Ninja Tribunal arc of 2003. [Read it!] [Tag!]
The Great Skittles Heist of 2105 - A Fast Forward AU where the Dark turtles came out of the growth process early, as babies! The turtles adopt them. [Read it!] [Tag!]
2012 Fusion - An alternate universe where the turtles discover new Krang tech that allows them to fuse. [Read it!] [Tag!]
Season X - A continuation of Fast Forward's cancelled Season 2 with a focus on the Dark Turtles and their redemption arc. [Read it!] [Tag!]
Ghost in the Shell - An AU where the Donatello from SAINW that went missing ends up slipping into the Rise universe and watching a version of his own family grow. [Read it!] [Tag!]
Tags
TMNT 2003 - All my 2003 art and doodles. [click!]
TMNT Toy Redraw - I draw my old turtle characters based on TMNT toys I had as a kid. [click!]
Ask Doodle - Tag for drawings in response to asks. [click!]
Ame Talks - Text posts only! Or if I go off on a tangent. [click!]
The TMNT Pit: CURRENTLY CLOSED I have a discord server where I show doodles and story snippets before they go up on tumblr, or even parts that never go up anywhere else. It's also just a general TMNT with lots of '03 and Rise love!
Feel free to send me asks about anything! I'm always happy to answer! If you specify an ask towards a character, then I'll answer with art or in-character text! Just make sure you specify which character and for which universe, or I'll default to whatever I'm feelin' at the moment.
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Masterlist
Hey there, friend 🌻 You can call me Light or Lightwise ✨ This is my little corner of Tumblr mostly dedicated to Star Wars (especially the Bad Batch, clone boys, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan). I am a photographer and writer in my early thirties who spent her childhood telling stories to herself while riding her bike in circles around her driveway. Little did I know at the time that would be considered fan fiction and that however many years later I would find myself nerding out in the Star Wars fandom and loving every second of it ✨
I write a lot of in-depth analyses and musings, which are tagged with #somelightramblings | #some light ramblings (for a touch of irony, because they are usually anything but light or short :D).
My image edits are tagged with #somelightedits | #some light edits
My fics/writings are tagged with #lightwisewrites | #lightwise writes
I currently do not take fic requests but you can find my writing (a mix of one-shots and long-form WIPs) on here as well as on AO3.
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🤗 and feel free to use my edits for headers or PFPs with credit!
This blog contains both SFW and NSFW content, so minors DNI, 18+ only please and thank you 👀
moon dividers by @djarrex 🩷
Btw, I talk mainly about Star Wars with an emphasis on my favorite Bad Batch Boys, but I love many other fandoms/shows/books as well and welcome any conversations/sliding into my DMs to discuss them or other random (SFW) topics!
Narnia (my first fantasy love) | Mystery of Aaravos (The Dragon Prince) | Gilmore Girls | Marvelous Mrs. Maisel | A Series of Unfortunate Events | Shadow and Bone | LoTR | TrollHunters | Gravity Falls | Studio Ghibli | Anything Jane Austen or 18th and 19th century literature | Sound of Music | And whatever you want to talk about! My Asks are always open!
Key:
🤔 = long analysis
📷 = image edits (alone or within analysis posts)
🫣 = Potentially disturbing or triggering content (mental health, implied violence or dying, etc.)
🔥 = NSFW/spicy content
My Fics
Plan 99 - Short one-shot fic from Tech's perspective. I wanted to show the thoughts that must have been running through his mind as he fell. The love he has for his family. The peace he has in his decision. (from the season finale of TBB season 2)
Tumblr link | AO3 link
Coming soon: Compass and the North Star (long-form fill in the gaps of TBB season 2, focused on Rex and Echo's efforts to free their clone brothers).
Be There - I had to fill in a couple of moments that we didn’t get in S3 E4 - A Different Approach. Hunter and Crosshair's perspectives on trying to find/escaping with Omega and their impending reunion.
Collaborations:
🔥 Sharp Edges - (with @spicy-clones) (ALL of the spiciness, minors do NOT read!)
Tumblr link | AO3 link
Coming soon: Pabu Wedding (with @drafthorsemath)
Inspired by other fics:
The Adventures of Gonky the Cat - Slight spoiler, Gonky is a cat in the modern AU fic Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below), and I decided to write his backstory/fill in some of his adventures. This is a WIP, currently there are no spoilers in it, but eventually there will be some chapters that give spoilers for later in the story (and will be noted as such).
Gemini Eyes - This one shot fits in as a chapter in between chapters 85 and 87 of Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below). DO NOT read it unless you have made it that far in Mel's work, otherwise you will have pretty significant spoilers. I had a lot of fun working with Mel's versions of each character, and it's always a joy to write Tech's thought processes and mannerisms.
Fic Recs
Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude - by MelMorganne99 over on AO3. It's a clever, emotional, modern AU with Crosshair x OC (and one of the best OC characters I've ever read). This fic helped me understand and appreciate the nuances of Crosshair's personality and emotional journey, and has given me endless writing inspiration. And the author is one of the kindest, most engaging people I've ever met online. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and read it. There are 99 chapters but they're on the short side and full of snarky humor and sometimes surprising cameos. This is a full blown fix it fic too, although not always in the ways you might expect!
The Vacation - by @staycalmandhugaclone is one of the best Crosshair fics (and smut fics in general) I've ever read. The writing style haunts me and both Crosshair and the OC are beautifully characterized.
More will be tagged soon!
Show/Character Analyses & Edits
The Bad Batch
S2
🤔 Know Your Showrunners
🤔 + 📷 Phee and the Bad Batch
🤔 + 📷 Why Mayday is a Mirror of Rex (How Crosshair Predicted His Own Redemption Arc) + an excellent comment addition.
🤔 + 📷 There is Something to be Said for Freedom (Crosshair in The Tipping Point)
🤔 + 📷 Fennec season 3 TBB Predictions
S3
🤔 They Don't Know
🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer
🤔 + 📷 Tech and Crosshair Parallels
📷 Hunter and Wrecker
📷 Omega Smiling at Crosshair
📷 Separate / Together
🤔 Thoughts on Crosshair's Hand Tremor
🤔 + 📷 Crosshair's Choice
🤔 There is No "We"
🤔 Crosshair Sighs
📷 Recognition
🤔 + 📷 Omega Is Not Okay
📷 Get Up Here
📷 Return to The Outpost - Images Part 1 | Part 2
🤔 + 📷 Full Circle - The Return to The Outpost
📷 Crosshair Portraits
Star Wars (general)
📷 Huyang and Tech
🤔 The Force - Part 1 and Part 2
🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer
Ahsoka
📷 Life and Death (Ahsoka series ep 5 + Tales of the Jedi ep 1)
📷 They Reflect Each Other (Ahsoka and Anakin as master and padawan, Ahsoka series ep 5)
🫣 + 🤔 Ahsoka’s Choice (Ahsoka series ep 5)
🤔 The Face of War (Ahsoka series ep 5)
📷 Red and Blue (Ahsoka series ep 5)
📷 Anakin’s Clone Wars Robes (Ahsoka series ep 5)
Ahsoka’s Direction (Ahsoka series ep 5)
Mandalorian
The Protector (Satine, Bo, & Din as rulers of Mandalore) + excellent comment additions
Episode Reactions
Ahsoka Series: Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4
The Bad Batch (Season 3): Episodes 1-3 | Episode 4 | Episode 6 | Episode 7
Headcanons
Hardcase
Wolffe
Crosshair
Tech
Cody
Jesse and Hunter
Random Musings
Psychometry (Ahsoka)
Hunter and Obi-Wan: Similarities
About Me/Tag Games
15 Questions
TBB Asks Game 1
TBB Asks Game 2
TBB Asks Game 3
TBB Asks Game 4
#lightwisemasterlist#lightwise masterlist#masterlist#my fics#fan fiction#headcanons#long analyses#analysis#somelightramblings#some light ramblings#some light edits#somelightedits#lightwise writes#lightwisewrites
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Deviant With a Big Defect Pt.3
The Bad Batch x Reader, Obi-Wan x Reader
Disclaimer: I own none of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs used with my stories.
Warnings: Descriptions of injury and war.
I meant to mention this in the last post but the artists water tag is Galactic Problems. If anyone knows if they're here on Tumblr lmk so I can properly give them credit for their art, because it is just 🤌🏻.
Part 2 Part 4
Geonosis
You were following 99 as he was headed to the mess to clean up a spill.
"But 99 your back. You need help around here." You argued with him, but he just shook his head.
"No (Y/n). I am exactly where I should be, and you are exactly where you should be." He said simply as he grabbed his mop bucket and a wet floor sign. You sighed as you continued to follow him into the mess. Your arm was grabbed, and you spun on whoever had a hold of you.
"Sorry 99, I've been looking for (Y/n), and I need her to come with me." Cody told 99 who nodded.
"Take her before she tries to stay here to help me." 99 said as he walked away to the spill. Cody pulled you behind him as he jogged through the halls. Alarms started to blare, and troops started to clutter the hallways.
"Cody, what's going on?" You ask him.
"We're being deployed to Geonosis." Cody says.
"Alright, so why were you looking for me?" You ask him.
"Because you're my Captain until Unit 99 is fully ready to deploy." Cody said.
"To be a Captain, I would've had to of taken the Captains test. I've never taken that test, Commander." You told him, and he looked even more confused.
"I could've sworn Mistress Nala Se said you took the test and passed with flying colors." Cody said, and you were even more confused than he was. He pushed a button on his com, and Nala Se answered.
"Yes, Commander?" She asked.
"(Y/n) says she's never taken the Captains test." Cody said.
"She has. She did not know that's what the test was, though." She told him.
"And she passed without studying for it?" Cody asked, surprised.
"Yes. She even received the second highest grade, right behind CT-7567. Is that all Commander?" Nala Se asked.
"Yes, ma'am." He said and disconnected the com. "So, as I was saying, until Unit 99 is ready to deploy, you're under my command." Cody said with finality.
"As your Captain? But Hunter is a sergeant and my commanding officer." You argue back, and he shakes his head as he continues to lead you through the halls.
"Incorrect. He is your sergeant, but you are his commanding officer." Cody corrected, and you groaned.
"How am I going to explain this to him?" You ask Cody.
"Well, you just say it, but for now, we have to be focused. Do you have all your gear?" Cody asked.
"Yes, I've kept all my gear on me while I'm out and about since yesterday." You confirm to him.
"Good, because we're here." Cody says, and the door opens. You follow Cody through the hangar to the Venator that's docked outside. "This is the cruiser Negotiator. You'll be stationed on it with me." Cody says, and you nod.
"Yes, sir." You say. He leads you to the hangar on board the Venator where there are several troopers already waiting. Cody launches into the briefing, and you listen to what he's saying. You feel the ship jolt, and you gain a sudden wave of anxiety being away from Tech. 'At least he's safe'. You think to yourself. Once the briefing was over, you stuck close to Cody since he was showing you the important areas you needed to know... Which you already did, but you weren't going to steal his thunder. You made sure that both of your cortosis vibroblades were still in fact in their sheaths. He ended the tour on the bridge and led you to the window. You watched in awe as the stars passed by in a blur.
"When we get to Geonosis, I want you to respond with the ground forces directly to where the Generals will be located. Assist them in any way that you can." Cody told you.
"Yes, sir. Understood." You said, and he rolled his eyes.
"Oh, come on. Having me as your commanding officer can't be that bad, can it?" Cody asked.
"No, it's not. I just know it irritates you when I say that." You told him, and he sighed.
"Alright. Go on ahead and go back to the hangar so you can be ready to go as soon as we get there." Cody said, and you took off back the way you came. You towered over the rest of the clones in the hangar, and it caught the attention of a few of them. You were just ignoring all the chattering around you. A clone finally approached you and stood staring at you until you turned to look at him.
"Can I help you?" You ask him.
"A-aren't you a p-part of U-unit 99?" He asked and you froze.
"Yes, I am. Is that an issue?" You asked as you looked down at him.
"N-n-no m-ma'am. I j-just thought they w-weren't ready f-for d-deployment y-yet." He said.
"The rest of my batch isn't ready, but I was... Apparently. Anything else you need?" You asked him.
"N-no. I was j-just c-curious." He says. "W-what's y-your n-name?" He asks.
"(Y/n). What's yours?" You ask him.
"My s-squad c-calls m-me S-stutter." He says, but he doesn't seem happy with the name.
"Do you even like that name?" You ask and he shakes his head. "How about... James?" You ask and he thinks about it for a moment then nods.
"Y-yeah. I l-l-like th-at." He says and you smile at him. The alarm for the hangar doors started to blare and you put your helmet on.
"Well, James it was nice to meet you. It seems that it's time for the music to start." You say and he nods then heads off to his fighter. 'So he's a pilot.' You think to yourself as you climb into your gunship. After waiting for a few moments all the troopers were on board with you, and the doors slid shut. The ride there was tense and you could feel eyes on you, but no one said anything. You were after all their superior. The doors opened and troopers started dropping down lines onto the battlefield. The moment your boots hit the ground you were shooting droids left and right. Soon enough a familiar Jedi appeared at your side.
"I had a feeling I would see you here today." He commented and you scoffed.
"No, you didn't." You countered back and continued to shoot more droids.
"You're right. I thought I was going to die." He said and you laughed. "If you see an old man with a maroon-ish cape let me know. He's important to this cause." Obi-Wan told you and you nodded.
"Yes, sir!" You said then spotted the old man. "You mean him?" You asked over the sound of gunfire.
"Yes, that's him! His name is Count Dooku." Obi-Wan informed you.
"Count Dooky? I feel like someone in royalty would have a better name!" You shout back to Obi-Wan.
"No Doo-Koo!" He sounded it out for you.
"Oh, my bad. I'm going to pursue and tag his transport with a tracking beacon. I'll follow him for as long as his armed guard will allow me." You tell Obi-Wan.
"No wait!" Obi-Wan shouted but it was too late as you traded one of your blasters for one of your vibroblades. You sliced and shot your way through the crowd and made it just in time to see 'Dooku' climb onto a speeder bike. His four guards took four of the others, but there was one more left.
"Hmm, lucky." You say to yourself as you take aim at his speeder and shoot a tracking beacon on it. You race to the last speeder and climb onto it. You take off after your target and take out two of his guards. This led to a chase that you weren't going to lose, but according to them, you weren't going to win either. One of them landed a lucky shot to one of the thrusters for your speeder and it crashed. You jumped off of it and waited for them to confirm the kill. You tossed a thermal detonator onto it and waited. They came back around and got off of their speeders to check around the crash. As soon as they walked up to the site the detonator blew and both droids were out for the count. You smirked and went over to their speeders and commandeered one. You checked the tracking device and it had come to a stop about 2 klicks north. You headed in that direction but groaned when you realized it was the side of a cliff. You could see the landing platform from below so you pulled out your grapple and started your ascent. When you got onto the landing pad you heard weapons clashing together and peaked around the corner. A young Jedi was protecting Obi-Wan as he fought Dooku. He was doing great until Dooku cut off his arm and used his powers to push him back to be with Obi-Wan. The younger Jedi looked like he passed out from the pain of losing his arm, but Obi-Wan was wide awake. Dooku started to push forward toward them, and you shook your head.
"This is so dumb of me." You muttered before you pulled out both of your vibroblades and intercepted a killing blow to the boy. Your arms were crossed in an X to use both of your blades to block the hit.
~Flashback~
"When out on the battlefield you might come across an adversary with one of these. It will be red, or a color that represents them." Your instructor said as he pulled out what he called a lightsaber. He activated it and the black hue the blade gave off was eery. "Don't worry though, because your vibroblades can stop a lightsaber. But that doesn't mean the fight is over there. These adversaries have powers, but your gauntlets have helpful tools to deal with those powers. Over the next few months, I will be teaching you to fight against these wizards." He said and you nodded.
"Yes, sir." You said and got into position.
~Flashback Over~
"Oh. This is a surprise. A clone I'm assuming?" Dooku asks and you nod. "Then this should be easy." You kick him back and he seems stunned for a moment then raises his hand. You respond by activating the shield on your left gauntlet. Right on time as well since he shot FRIGGIN LIGHTNING out of his fingers. "Maybe not." He says and advances. You deactivate the shield and ready yourself for the oncoming fight. The next few minutes are a flurry of movement and flashes as his lightsaber makes contact with your blades. You trap his lightsaber between the blades of your knives. He outsmarts your next move by striking first and connecting his elbow with the underside of your jaw. You stumble back and try to bring your left arm up to stop him from slicing you. That didn't work as he cuts off your left arm from the elbow down, but he didn't stop there. The tip of his saber had dug through your armor, and he continued to follow through with his swing. Cutting up your torso then through the right side of your helmet. The white-hot pain that stung through your body caused you to drop to your knees.
"No!" You heard Obi-Wan shout, but you couldn't make any noise. You looked up at Dooku who seemed pleased with his work.
"You were more of a challenge than two Jedi. Be proud of yourself for the little time you have left alive." Dooku brought his lightsaber up and swung down, but you raised your right hand which still held your other blade. You blocked the hit successfully and started to stand up. He looked at you surprised and you exhaled harshly. As much as it hurt you brought your foot up and it made contact with his stomach. It was once again his turn to stumble backward, and you spun and then flung your blade at his head. He barely dodged it and turned to watch it whiz by his face. The distraction was enough as you activated the lasso on your right gauntlet and whipped it around his midsection. You activated the electricity, and it electrocuted him. He yelled in pain for a moment then brought his lightsaber down on it. It snapped and he glared at you with hatred.
"Fine." Is all he said before he raised his hand and you panicked as you realized what was about to happen. Before you could utter a word he was shooting lightning directly at you. You still didn't allow him the satisfaction of hearing you yell as you fell to the ground. You finally lay still on the ground as your energy was spent, and your body was in excruciating pain. Your eyelids became heavy and you passed out.
~Back on Kamino~
Tech hadn't calmed down since they were told that you had been sent to Geonosis. He was pacing the room back and forth as he continued to worry. Hunter went up to him and stopped his pacing by slapping his hands onto his shoulders.
"She's strong Tech. She'll make it back." Hunter said and Tech sighed.
"This is the longest amount of time that we've been apart since she got reintegrated. I don't like being away from her for this long." Tech finally admitted.
"Yeah. I don't like it either." Wrecker said as he hugged his pillow. Crosshair was observing his brothers and couldn't help but feel the same anxiety they were. You were the last to come in, but the first to go out. Something wasn't adding up to Crosshair, but he couldn't quite pinpoint it.
~Back On Geonosis~
As soon as the transport Cody was on landed he was off of it and into the hangar. Commander Skywalker was barely conscious and General Kenobi was staring at the other side of the hangar. Cody followed his gaze and caught sight of the familiar black and red armor. He immediately ran over, but you were on your side and your back was to him. He knelt behind you and rolled you onto your back, but he wasn't ready to see what he was about to see. A gash from right below your ribs on your left side to the top of your helmet on your right was all he could see. Then your left arm flopped to the ground next to him and he nearly gagged when he realized it was only a stump. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to look at who it was. General Kenobi was looking at the two of you sadly.
"She fought very well, and she was very brave." Kenobi said and Cody turned back to you. The soft sound of short footsteps and a walking cane were heard.
"Still alive, she is. A medic, she needs." General Yoda said and Cody automatically com'd a medic to be ready for your arrival. He stands back up and pulls you into his arms. He gets back onto the transport he was previously on with Generals Yoda and Kenobi right behind him.
"What happened?" He asked General Kenobi.
"Count Dooku was about to kill Anakin. She just appeared out of thin air and blocked his strike. They fought and she did very well, but she lost in the end." Kenobi said then he looked to Skywalker who was passed out. Cody pulled off his helmet and rubbed his face. You took a sharp inhale of breath as you came back to consciousness. You tried to bring your hand up to remove your helmet, but you didn't have enough energy. Cody helped you remove it and set it to the side.
"Cody?" You asked weakly and he nodded.
"I'm here." He said as he took your good hand into his.
"The sith was smart... He disarmed me." You joked as you weakly brought your left stub up to show him. He scoffed out a half laugh half irritated sigh. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you pass out again.
"Her brothers are going to kill me." Cody says. "They're very protective of her." Idle chat erupts between the Jedi and some of the clones as well. The moment the doors opened and they were back in the hangar for the Negotiator a team of medics took you with them.
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rocks at your window pt. 9 - ricky bowen x reader
disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year
additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh
!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!
wc: 9.6k
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, not really fluff but a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows
pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader
warnings: miss jenn is a legend icon queen slay goddess (cited two times), iconic interactions between the cast, jealous ricky being a cutie, ricky and EJ are not bros yet, nini has gone from messy to borderline evil, your mom is a legend, kourtney anxiety foreshadowing, opening night/theatre vibes so strong it made me tear up a little /hj, lynne bowen is a horrible horrible toxic person!!!, todd jumpscare, ricky has a mental breakdown, EJ is trying his best but horribly misreads the situation, ricky is in a crisis, ricky bpd episode, art to cope :'), ricky has a good support system, reader is good in a crisis, nini is REALLY testing your patience, gina gets a well deserved moment to shine, terrible theatre etiquette, ricky gets emotionally ambushed, mike is a good dad, nini gets yelled at by reader (slay), reader yells at lynne (slay), reader gets slapped (in a dramatic way not a violent or sexy way), reader gets called a slut as an insult, ricky defends you, messy necessary screaming match (slay), things are said that cannot be unsaid :/
summary: opening night is just as magical and incredible as ricky hoped it would be, just as wonderful as you made it sound - until the worst case scenario comes to fruition. but the show must go on, right?
song recs: something about this night - finding neverland obc, twenty million people - my favorite year obc, opening up - waitress obc, twinkle in her eye - leann rimes, window seat - amelie obc, this is how I disappear (instrumental) - my chemical romance, un organo suona - ennio morricone, the music and the mirror - a chorus line obc, holding onto you - twenty one pilots, you oughta know - jagged little pill obc
other media: "art is not a luxury, it's sustinance" - ethan hawke ted talk clip, "and the way he sings sends a chill right through me" - lullaby for the taken lyric by kimya dawson, "what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to" - text post/poem by tumblr user vympr,
a/n: fangz to cici for reading!!! I felt like my immortal chapter 6 "paragraph" 4 while writing the last part trying not to under or overuse dialog tags lmao. remember when I said it's gonna get messy? it gets worse :)
tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads
You and Ricky had been planning to get to the El Rey early on opening night since tech week, to make sure you have plenty of extra time to get ready, warm up, and get in character. Plus, you’ve been telling him how much you’ve missed just being in theaters, and near stages. The more time you’re there, the better. When you’re on the way over Ricky couldn’t shake the excitement gripping him. You can’t seem shake the feeling something was going to go wrong.
It was different from nerves, different from anxiety or worries that everyone can get before a big event. It was the same small, nudging feeling you got the night the basement flooded during your run in Matilda. It’s not as bad as it had been that time, but you take in a breath, steadying yourself and knowing you should be ready for anything. When you do, the feeling is quickly overshadowed by your excitement. You haven’t acted in far too long, and you’re ecstatic that you’ll get to perform again soon.
Once you get to the theater, you and Ricky are the first to sign the sign in sheet. You draw a little smiley face next to his name, and when he glances back at you, eyes falling on the paper. He smiles, struck by sudden joy at the little face. He leans back over and grabs a pen, drawing a smiley next to your name on the line below. Miss Jenn glances down when he returns the pen.
“Oh!” she exclaims, seeing the little faces, “How cute. I love this energy we’re creating.” she gestures vaguely before shooing you off to your respective dressing rooms to get ready.
Soon everyone’s there, and you’re once again wrapped up in the familiar hustle and bustle of show nights. You and your castmates are simultaneously getting in costume, warming up, and trying to get ready while helping each other’s hair and makeup. Ashlyn and Nini join you in an impromptu karaoke session, singing your hearts out to Bop to the Top while Nina riffs and harmonizes. The boys, one or two rooms away, start singing Getcha Head in the Game at the same time. In spite of the chaotic cacophony of voices, it's both a good way to warm up, and a good outlet for the nervous energy growing, bouncing from one person to the next, turning electric.
Kourney enters suddenly, grabbing some bobby pins.
"Do you know if you have any safety pins?" She asks.
"Uh," you pause doing your hair, tying it up into a bouncy low half updo, and fumble through your bag, "how many do you need?"
"Two or three?" She says hopefully. No matter how many you buy, bobby pins and safety pins always seem to be in short supply at every theater you've been to. You dig around for a minute before finding them, handing them to Kourtney.
"Thank you!" She declares, "Seb's shirt just completely-"
"Has anyone seen my glasses?" Ashlyn asks, and Kourtney pauses, noticing she's not wearing them.
"Shit," Kourtney mutters, both of you looking around for them.
"Knock knock!" Comes Seb’s voice from behind the door.
"Decent!" You and Ashlyn reply in unison. Seb enters, holding the side of his shirt together with his hands.
"Any luck?" He asks Kourtney.
"Right here," she replies, holding up the safety pins. "Turn around." Nina puts in her headphones and starts doing some vocal exercises and scales to warm up a little more. Seb lifts up his jacket so Kourtney can pin the ripped seam back together.
"Oh," she remembers, "have you seen Ashlyn’s glasses?"
"The really big ones?" He asks.
"Yeah."
"Nope." He shrugs. She turns to Ashlyn.
"We'll find them." Kourtney reassures her. Seb heads back to his dressing room he shares with Ricky and EJ, and you move on to the last few steps of your makeup routine.
"Where are they?" Ashlyn huffs rhetorically. Natalie pokes her head in a moment later.
"40 minutes till show time!"
"Thank you 40!" The three of you reply together. A little while later, you’re finally dressed and waiting for the glue on your eyelashes to get tacky, when you hear EJ call your name. You stumble out of your dressing room, zipping up your boot, and you’re greeted with EJ in his Chad costume, clearly in a huff.
“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” he asks, a slightly petulant tone to his voice, handing you a black pencil. You laugh.
“Yeah, hold on.” you go back into your dressing room, passing by Seb telling Kourtney something. You dig through your makeup bag as Seb reenters, Darbus glasses in hand, presenting them to Ashlyn.
"Where were they?" She exclaims.
"The prop table!" He says.
"Why?" Ash asks, stating your thoughts exactly.
"Natalie says they're technically a prop because in the detention scene when you…" you find what you're looking for, missing the tail end of his sentence as you leave a moment later with a stiff angled brush in hand. You grab EJ and lead him to the stairs where he can sit down. He does so, and you rub the bristles against the eyeliner, demonstrating for him.
“This will make the application a lot more precise. Close your eyes…” you instruct, tilting his head back. You smudge the outside of his lash lines, careful not to make it look like too much.
“Okay, now this is the scary part…” you trail off, gently lifting up his eyelid. “I swear I’m not going to stab you, just look down and don’t blink.” you instruct at the worried look on his face. You tight line the middle of his lash line for a defined, natural effect, then repeat the step on the other side.
“Okay,” you say, pulling away to check that it looks even, unaware of Ricky standing a few feet away, watching you hold EJ’s face. You look so focused, and a twinge of jealousy flashes through his stomach, wishing you were holding his face, looking focused at him like that.
“You should be good,” you say, and Ricky approaches, dragging you away as EJ thanks you.
“I just need to borrow her for a second.” he cuts EJ off, smiling tensely at him - one he returns. Ricky takes you a few feet away while EJ goes back into their dressing room.
“What’s up?” you ask. He lets out a breathy laugh.
“I just… I can’t figure out this whole bronzer thing.” You bite back a smile. You know that it’s bullshit, specifically because you went through his whole stage makeup routine with him twice last night. He could do his makeup and anyone else’s with one hand tied behind his back, so he obviously just wants your attention. You can’t deny that it’s really cute - and it’s working. He’s probably nervous, you figure. You chuckle, taking the brush from him.
“Make a fish face,” you instruct, sucking in your cheeks and puckering your lips. His face mirrors yours, and you blend the product into his foundation. Your hand rests on his jaw, angling it this way and that until you’re satisfied with your work. He glances briefly back at the stairs, where EJ has long since left. Ricky’s about to look for any other excuse to keep you here for a few more minutes, your eyes light up, remembering something.
“Oh!” you exclaim, turning around, “Stay right here.” You’re back a moment later after digging through your bag past bobby pins, safety pins, your water bottle, script, sewing kit, extra makeup, makeup wipes, bandaids, and throat lozenges. You grab a small box, holding it triumphantly before running back out to Ricky in the hall. You stand in front of him, that glimmer in your eye.
“I have a surprise.” Excitement swirls in his chest.
“What is it?” he asks, trying to suppress the anticipatory giggle bubbling up, his energy matching yours. You hand him the small box, and he looks at it, confused. He opens it slowly, pulling out a little charm. It’s a dog tag with the number 14, and a metallic T on a jump ring.
“Oh my god…” he breathes, looking at it closer. You’re beaming, so glad that he likes it.
“You know,” you say softly, “something to remember your first show by. And your heart ring was looking kind of lonely.” You smile, pointing to the plastic ring he still wears around his neck, waiting until the last possible minute to take it off. You barely get the words out before he grabs your arms, pulling you close and kissing you. His lips are warm as they move against yours, and for a split second, you forget where you are, completely losing context for everything around you.
“I love-” he murmurs against your mouth, freezing for an instant. Your hearts skip a beat in tandem, then he cuts himself off to kiss you again. “I love it.” he finishes. You smile against his lips, pulling away very reluctantly. He leans back in, pressing a few more kisses to your lips before you wiggle out of his grasp.
“Ricky!” you laugh, “We’re gonna mess up our makeup. We can kiss after the show.” He runs his fingers up and down your arms, gazing at you as you talk. You have all his attention.
“Okay,” he says in that light hearted, joking tone of his that always makes you laugh, “but I’m gonna hold you to that.” You laugh again, and he takes off his necklace so you can slip on the new charm. After getting it fixed on the chain, you reattach it to his neck.
At the end of the hall where you’re standing, Nina lingers, watching Ricky touch you and kiss you like that. It makes her sick, and she finds herself holding back a gag. Her hours of research had turned into days, and she has your playbill.com page open on her phone at this very moment. She’s torn, reminiscing over how much she loved your performances and how obsessed with you she was as a kid, and simultaneously fuming over it. You’ve done all this professional work, you’ve acted on Broadway, and now you’re here at East High?
She scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. She wanted so badly to be you, to have your perfect life, and you threw it all away for what? To come do crappy high school theatre in a town that couldn’t be further from New York? She fights a laugh suddenly, realizing just how much dirt she has on you. There must be a reason you’ve been keeping this secret, lying to everyone, lying to Ricky. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know why yet, but she’s going to find out.
35 minutes before curtain, Miss Jenn gathers everyone for circle time, and a cast meeting to boost morale before the show. Everyone is finally in costume and Kourtney follows Seb, makeup pallet in hand, adjusting the finishing touches to the glitter on his cheeks. You can feel the energy stirring and growing, electric between all of you.
“Most of you know that our dazzling Taylor had to leave under family circumstances. Gina sends her love and support, but has left for the east coast and will not be able to make it to tonight’s performance.” Miss Jenn says. You and Ricky share a look, trying not to be too obvious. You got Gina a plane ticket together, and your mom is at the airport right now to pick her up. The last you heard from her, Gina’s flight was delayed. Now there’s only a slim chance she’ll get here in time. You silently keep your fingers crossed, praying to whatever theatre gods are out there that she’ll make it to the theater before it's too late.
“And so,” Miss Jenn continues, “I have asked… Kourtney to fill in, in her place!”
The room erupts into cheers. Kourtney smiles, eyes on the floor bashfully. She’s praying she doesn’t seem as nervous as she feels. It’s not that she didn’t expect you guys to be supportive of her subbing in as Taylor, but seeing first hand how excited everyone is for her eases some of the worries that have been building up.
“Now,” Miss Jenn continues, “everyone join hands.” After some heartfelt words of encouragement and other usual circle time warm ups, she claps her hands.
“Let’s go, wildcats! 20 minutes to curtain!”
Once again, the room erupts into cheers.
“Now, if I can get my main characters and my ensemble members starting the show with a mic on stage for mic check?” she directs, pointing towards the way to the wings. You walk with everyone else towards the stage, pausing when you pass Miss Jenn.
“Do you want me to help Kourtney get ready?” you ask. Her hair and makeup are done, she just has to get in costume, but you can sense that she needs a pep talk.
“That would be fantastic,” she says with a look that indicates she thinks Kourtney could use a pep talk too, “thank you, Sharpay.” She pulls out her walkie to let Big Red know you and Kourtney are going to be released from mic check early to finish getting ready. After singing We’re All In This Together while Big Red adjusts your volume from the sound booth, Kourtney sings Bop to the Top, voice getting louder and quieter as Red tweaks the settings. Once you’ve both gotten the thumbs up, you scurry backstage to your dressing room, handing her costume pieces while she gets changed.
“Oh, wait,” you say before she pulls on her top. You grab your setting spray you use for shows from your bag. “Close your eyes.” You mist her face with the product, fanning it dry so it doesn’t smudge.
“Thanks,” she says. You take one look at her expression, and can tell she’s nervous.
“You okay?” You ask. She hesitates, then sighs.
“I had two weeks to learn all my lines. I had two weeks to learn all the lines and the songs, I haven’t even gotten to rehearse on stage with you guys, and I’m just so worried I’m going to blow it, or choke in front of everyone…” she trails off. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg, and she fiddles with her bracelets, trying to get out some nervous energy.
“There is no way you’re going to choke.” you say confidently, “You know this show inside and out! Plus, haven’t you been running lines with Nini the whole time?” you ask.
“Yeah,” she replies, listening carefully, trying to grab onto your reassurance.
“Almost all of Taylor’s scenes are with Gabriella.” You state. Her expression changes as she realizes you’re right. She knows this part better than she was giving herself credit for.
“Plus there will be scripts in the wings if you need to refresh between scenes.”
“Yeah,” she says again, more confident this time. “I know my lines, I know the songs, I know the dances - mostly, at least - so it’s all going to be fine! Even if the choreography in Stick to the Status Quo is still totally terrifying, and I have no idea how to dance with a lunch tray or do a death wack, it’s going to be fine!” Her laughter turned from relieved to slightly panicked again.
“You think you’re nervous for Stick to the Status Quo?” you ask rhetorically, a comedic note to your voice, “I have to get caked in the face!” You exclaim with a chuckle. You’ve only practiced with an actual cake once, during the last tech rehearsal, and it was messy, to say the least. Literally and figuratively.
Kourtney laughs, remembering the whipped cream that got everywhere, how loud you were yelling in character before storming off. It took more makeup wipes than you'd expected to get the sticky sugar off your face.
“We’ll get through it together.” You state, holding out your hand. She squeezes it, reassuringly.
“Yeah. We will.”
“Five minutes to places!” Natalie calls, poking her head in.
“Thank you five!” you both reply. You check your phone one last time, the new text from your mom stating that she’s still at the airport, waiting for Gina’s flight. You text Ricky the same thing, letting him know you’re all still waiting for more updates on the delay. The good news is that your mom’s friend from work - who was planning on coming to see the show anyway - is going to stream the show to your mom until she can get there, that way she won’t miss anything.
It doesn’t feel like five minutes has gone by when Natalie is calling for places, ushering everybody into the wings and into their starting places and positions. Hushed whispers of encouragement and break a leg spread through the wings, and everyone falls silent as Miss Jenn begins her curtain speech. It’s unusual for a group of such high energy people to be so still, so quiet, and you soak up every moment of it. This is your favorite part - or one of them, at least; it's those few fleeting minutes when everyone’s backstage in the wings, the opening of the show is seconds away and hurdling closer and closer with every breath, every heartbeat. This is one of those magical, transformative, fleeting times that can only really be described as in between.
You never knew just how much you would miss this, the distinct and irreplaceable energy, the feeling of being in a theater. Tears spring to your eyes as it really hits you that you’re home, back where you’ve always needed to be. You close your eyes, taking deep, measured breaths to focus, to get into that headspace of being in character. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel it around you; the rich wood and cement mixing into different sections of the floor, the heavy curtains, the grid and catwalk and lights, all intangibly high and far away. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful that you don’t know how your body is supposed to contain it. You know now that you could never leave, not really. Theatre will always be your home, and you know this feeling will only solidify more and more with time. You realize, too, that it’s a home that will always grow and change and evolve with you, because that’s in its eternal, fleeting nature. That’s the most beautiful part, you think.
You squeeze Seb’s hand in excitement and encouragement and every other good thing, a gesture that he returns. In spite of the silence and the stillness, you know that everyone is just as excited as you are. Ricky’s in the opposite wing, or else you’d be squeezing his hand right now too right now. You use this moment, this stillness that's growing and getting more charged with energy every second, to become laser focused on giving this performance everything you've got - on really getting your head in the game.
Nini looks around, then over at Ricky - again. He’s been avoiding her this whole night, and she can’t stand it. She leans closer.
“I need to talk to you. After the show.” someone shushes her, and she lowers her voice, continuing. “She’s been lying to you about everything. You don’t know everything about her, Ricky.”
“Yes, I-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to feed into this. Not now. “I have to get into character.” He says, moving away from her. He tries to focus on the energy the cast is creating around him, on becoming Troy. He takes a breath, centering himself.
“Without further ado, I am proud to present… East High’s High School Musical: the Musical!” Miss Jenn’s voice is drowned out by applause, and the music begins.
The first few songs and scenes go smoothly; everyone is on time and remembering their cues, and the audience couldn’t be more engaged, applauding and laughing right when you want them to. During Jack Scott’s announcements after Darbus reveals what the winter musical is going to be, you leave to get ready for What I’ve Been Looking For. You pass by Ricky, who’s quick changing for Get’cha Head in the Game, and shoot him a big thumbs up.
“Great job!” you whisper enthusiastically, stomping your feet quietly in excitement.
“Thanks,” he smiles, beaming as he pulls on his jersey. He watches you scurry down the hall before getting nudged toward the stage right before his cue. He shakes his head, wondering why he let Nini get him so worked up before. Of course he knows you. He knows everything about you! There’s absolutely nothing on earth you could tell him that would throw him off, or scare him away from you. She’s probably just making something up to get in his head, to drive a wedge between you. That seems like something she would do lately.
“Let’s see some hustle! Move, move, move!” Coach Bolton calls from onstage, and Ricky jogs over to him, as ready as he'll ever be.
“Sorry I’m late, coach.”
As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he’s trying to stay in character and stay focused on the scene, Nini’s words are still echoing in the back of his mind, throwing him off a little. He catches his dad’s eye in the crowd as the music starts. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this proud, and it steadies Ricky. He takes in a breath, and begins to sing. Part way through the song, he notices a woman in the crowd who looks weirdly like his mom. He doesn’t miss a beat, making sure to look in his dad’s direction instead. That’s weird, he thinks, but it can’t be her. There’s no way she’d come all the way from Chicago for something like this. Just like what Nini said to him before the show, he won’t let that distract him from performing, and tries not to let that throw him off.
During the dance break, he gets hooked up to his harness, and his stomach erupts into excited butterflies as he slowly moves up. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd that turns into cheers as he hovers in front of the hoop, ball in hand. Up here, he’s not blinded by the stage lights, and he looks down at the crowd, able to see his dad’s face even better than before. He’s filled with such euphoria, he knows you’re right - nothing can beat this feeling. He feels more alive, more awake than he ever has, simultaneously enveloped by a deep sense of peace, of rightness that he doesn’t want to let go of.
On the other side of the auditorium, someone moves, catching his eye. Some guy is making his way into his seat, presumably because he showed up late. He leans over to his date, kissing her and touching her leg. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what he saw when he pulled away. Past the blinding stage lights, his stomach plummets back down to earth as he’s able to make out more faces in the audience - including hers. She’s here. She’s really here, and she brought that douchebag with her. She’s whispering something in that bastard’s ear, barely five rows away from his dad. They’re all over each other, talking close and kissing and smiling.
It’s only when she points up at him that he snaps out of it. He realizes the pit has been waitin for his cue a beat or two longer than usual, and follows up quickly with it. He had dropped his basketball when he was up there, and he’s scrambling to make it through the rest of the number. He tries desperately to get back into character, to focus on the lyrics and choreography, to focus on the music instead of what he just saw in front of him, but he can’t shake what just happened, what he just saw. Even as he’s being pulled backstage to change into the costume for his next scene, it takes all his effort not to let that overwhelm him. He can’t crumble right now, not like this. There’s a whole cast and crew, all his friends, that are counting on him. He gets some water, tries to pull himself together.
EJ looks for Ricky backstage, having a few minutes before their next scene. Even he has to admit he was impressed with Ricky’s performance back there. He looked so conflicted, so torn between basketball and singing. He even managed to make his distracted blocking and choreography look so organic EJ was worried he’d messed up for a second. He’s been giving him a hard time, butting heads on and off stage, but Ricky is really shining tonight. He’s committed, and EJ has to commend him for that.
“Ricky,” he says, just loudly enough to get his attention. Ricky turns around. “I have to hand it to you; you’re doing great out there, man. You deserve all the applause you’re getting.”
Ricky takes a breath, closing his water bottle.
“Thanks.”
He stares into space to the ceiling on EJ’s right, gripping his water bottle until his knuckles have a white cast to them. EJ’s brow furrows. He actually seems a little out of it.
“Are you okay?” he asks carefully. They’re not really close like that, but even EJ can see that he seems a little off.
“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “I am totally fine. Because it’s opening night, and nothing’s going to ruin this.”
Suddenly it makes sense. He knows exactly what Ricky’s going through. He sighs.
“Look, everybody gets stage fright. Just take a deep breath, and use the music and your lines to stay grounded.” He claps Ricky on the shoulder supportively.
“Thanks,” he chokes out again. EJ leaves to fix his mic tape, and Ricky is once again exactly where he doesn’t want to be - alone with his thoughts. Even though EJ has no idea of the scope of issues Ricky’s dealing with right now, his advice might still work. Instead of waiting in his dressing room, he hovers in the wings, going over the chemistry class scene as it happens, waiting for the lights to go down so he can talk to you, or at least be near you. He’s so tempted to barge onstage and drag you away with him. Instead he listens closely to your dialog with Gabriella. Just hearing your voice is enough for him to hold on to for now.
The lights go down, and you exit into the wings. You’re surprised to find Ricky there - he usually comes up about half way through Jack Scott’s narration. One look at his face and you know something’s wrong. Before you can ask, he’s pulling you into a less busy area by the prop table.
“She’s here.” He grips your arm, hand shaking. He doesn’t need to say anything else, you already have a full grasp on the gravity of the situation, the effect this is having on him.
“Here?” you ask, needing to clarify, and he nods. “Are you okay?” you ask sincerely.
“I’m…” he struggles for an answer, “trying to be.” You take his hands in yours so gently he doesn’t even notice until your thumbs are stroking his skin reassuringly.
“Okay,” you say calmly, and he can see the gears turning, see you figuring out the perfect solution as you speak. “Why don’t you have some water, stay right here, and I’ll go get Miss Jenn, okay?”
He nods, and you move quickly to Natalie, asking her if she knows where Miss Jenn is. She picks up her walkie talkie, asking Miss Jenn to come to the stage right wing. Jack’s narration scene wraps up and the crew changes the set to Darbus’s detention. You have seconds before you have to get out there, and you turn to Ricky, worried about him.
“Are you going to be okay?” you ask in a hushed whisper.
“Yeah.” he says, “I think so.”
You see Miss Jenn walking toward the stage right wing as you’re about to head onstage.
“We’ll talk to her right after.” you tell him in a hushed, reassuring whisper. You give his hand one more squeeze before you find your places in the dark. Moments later, the lights are up, and the scene begins. In all the time you’ve spent acting, you’ve gotten very good at staying in character, compartmentalizing thoughts and worries about your personal life while you’re onstage. You find it a little more difficult to keep the disgust at Lynne Bowen’s blatant lack of basic respect, or even awareness for the consequences of her actions, buried in the back of your mind as the scene plays out.
Sitting on the wooden flooring of the stage, warm under the bright lights, Ricky does exactly what he’s supposed to do - he uses the scene and dialog to stay grounded. He follows the dialog while doing his stage business, listening for his cues just like Miss Jenn thought him to do. If he stays in character, he doesn’t have to think about any offstage drama. As long as he doesn’t look out to that section of seats, as long as he can keep his eyes from being magnetically drawn there, he’s going to be fine. He stays in character, stays right there as Troy, clinging to his character like a life raft. If he can be Troy, he doesn’t have to worry about everything he’s going to have to deal with as Ricky for just a few more minutes. It's desperate and fleeting, but it's the only thing he can do right now.
Soon, the lights are down, and you’re hustling toward the stage right wing, where you know Miss Jenn is waiting. He finds your hand in the dark, the sparkly pink sequins on your outfit unmistakable even in the darkness. He holds onto you desperately, until you’re both standing in front of Miss Jenn. She knows from one look that whatever is going on, it’s bad.
“Um," Ricky starts, swallowing hard, "my mom is here…” he hates that his voice is already trembling so soon. It sounds more like a question than a statement, and his stomach twists at how foreign the word now feels in his mouth. My mom. The last time he called her that had been months ago when he told you and Miss Jenn what had happened. Ever since he’s only referred to her through pronouns and as briefly as possible, trying to disconnect the person she is from who she was supposed to be. Who he thought she was. The closest he’s gotten to addressing her has been vague statements; she didn’t call back, or I think that was her recipe, let’s find a different one. Actually saying it, actually calling her that makes his jaw feel stiff.
“My god.” Miss Jenn says softly, unable to believe that she could have the audacity to show up unannounced after what she put Ricky through. Ricky hesitates, and she knows there’s more. She nods, waiting for him to continue.
“And she, uh,” he swallows thickly, hating his throat for tightening up so much when he has to sing in a few minutes, “she brought her boyfriend…” Your eyes widen and Miss Jenn gasps.
“They’re in the sixth row, they keep talking and kissing, and-” he cuts himself off, unable to continue. His hands are balled up, tight and shaking.
“Okay. Ricky, sweetie, why don’t we talk about this somewhere a little more private.” You both guide him to the boys’ dressing room, and after making sure no one’s in there, she sits down facing him, and takes his hands in hers.
“From the beginning, what happened?”
He was barely able to get it out the first time, but now he can’t stop. Everything he’s been trying so hard to ignore and shove down for the last 20 minutes - and it’s felt way longer than 20 minutes - comes tumbling out. He doesn't think he could stop talking if he tried. He doesn’t even realize how loud he’s getting until Miss Jenn gently shushes him.
“We don’t want the audience to hear us.” he nods, taking a breath for the first time since he started talking. You left a minute ago to check on how much time you have before the next scene, and reenter the dressing room now, looking stressed.
“They’re almost done with Auditions.” you state. You need to go up there now, you and Seb have What I’ve Been Looking For soon, and you don’t want to miss your cue.
“Go,” she says. Ricky nods, so you do, knowing that Miss Jenn has this under control, that she can help Ricky right now. Your footsteps recede, and Ricky turns back to Miss Jenn.
“Ricky,” she starts calmly, “what she did was wildly inappropriate.” He already feels a little better, less crazy, and he waits for her to continue.
“Showing up unannounced with a…" she chooses her words carefully, "date, was… probably the worst thing that could have happened tonight.”
“Yeah,” he scoffs in agreement. She continues.
“You have every right to be as upset as you are. Whatever you need right now, just tell me, okay?” He nods. “I think what we should do is get your dad, and let him know what’s going on. I can try to have one of the ushers escort her out, but I’m sure the last thing you want tonight is even more drama.”
“Got that right,” he breathes, relieved.
“I’m going to talk to EJ and see if he can go on as Troy-”
“What? No.” he protests.
“Ricky-”
“No, Miss Jenn- I have to play Troy. Please, I have to!”
“It might be best for you-”
He stands up suddenly. “What’s best for me is going out there; acting and singing, like we rehearsed - like I’m supposed to! Please, you can’t…”
“Okay,” she says, standing up and trying to calm him down a little. “Okay. If you think you can do it, you can go back out there.”
He relaxes a little.
“Thank you.” his voice breaks as he speaks, and she realizes how badly he needs this right now.
“Why don’t we revisit this at intermission, see how you’re feeling then? Just to check up on you.” she adds quickly.
“Okay.” he agrees. She puts a hand on his arm.
“I’m going to let EJ know to get ready, just in case you change your mind. We’ve got to be ready for anything, right?” She smiles gently, one he tries to return.
“Right,” he says. A stagehand pokes his head into the room.
“Troy, we need you.”
“Be right there,” Miss Jenn says. She claps her hand over Ricky’s one more time. “Okay, Ricky, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go out there and sing a ballad with Gabriella that will make the audience swoon,” he smiles, “and I am going to do my best to get this situation resolved as quickly and discreetly as possible. If anything else happens, or you need anything, come tell me right away.”
“Okay.” he says, this time, with a note of determination in his voice. Miss Jenn pats him on the back, sending him off. He runs through the halls, making it just in time. Once he’s in the wings, she pulls out her phone to text Mike, and fill him in on everything that’s going on. He enters on Gabriella’s cue, and Miss Jenn pauses, watching him deliver his lines. All the distress, all the pain melts away as he steps into character.
It’s giving him a break from everything, she thinks, it has been the whole time. Theatre isn’t just a luxury or a passion for some people, it’s a means of survival. It hits her all at once, that in staying here, in facing the challenges and struggles that came from directing this show, she’s helping Ricky through one of the hardest things he’ll ever go through. She’s become the person she needed when she was his age; with only one parent, feeling completely lost at sea. Her chest squeezes, and she watches them sing, their voices sending a chill through her.
Backstage, in the few dark moments of the set change for Cellular Fusion, Nina somehow manages to corner you.
“What did you do to him?” she demands, and you know she’s referring to Ricky, who exited to the other wing. You stare at her, aghast. You lean in close, lowering your voice, desperately holding on to your professionalism.
“We have to go onstage, literally right now. I am not doing this with you right now.”
“Huh,” she scoffs with a fake smile, “you’re one to talk.” You have approximately two seconds to look at her, baffled by everything she’s saying, before you have to go on. You enter, and hit your mark. At the cue, you and Seb begin to harmonize. Right as you do, your phone - tucked away in the wings - silently begins to buzz. Your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you that Gina’s flight has finally landed, and they’ll be at the theater any minute.
You run off stage as Cellular Fusion wraps up, and Miss Jenn and Carlos are trying to figure out what to do about the Taylor dance break coming up. Kourtney has been doing great so far, but she doesn’t think she can handle choreography that complicated with so little time to rehearse.
“I could tell the pit to cut that section…” Carlos offers. You check your phone and your eyes light up, looking at the doorway.
“Uh,” you start with a smile, “I don’t think that will be an issue…”
Miss Jenn, Carlos, and Kourtney look over at Gina, smiling timidly.
“Oh, thank god,” Miss Jenn chokes out. She turns to Kourtney, then Gina. “You, go out there before you miss your cue. And you, quick change into something more 2006 before the dance break.”
They both agree, and a stagehand runs over with something for Gina to change into, guiding her to the dressing rooms.
“Is he doing any better?” you ask Miss Jenn before you go on. You don’t have much time, but you need to know if he’s okay.
“A little,” she says, “I think.” You both know it’s better than nothing, and you’re just hoping whatever he’s doing keeps working.
Stick to the Status Quo couldn’t be going any better. There’s so much happening, so much organized chaos, that he forgets about everything for a few wonderful minutes. There’s no time to think about that when he’s dancing on tables, begging his classmates not to sacrifice their individuality so they can fit in. It only gets better when you and Seb enter toward the end of the number. You look so genuinely pissed off that people are breaking free from the boxes they’ve been put in, and your voices sound perfect harmonizing together, reverberating through the auditorium.
He tries in vain to stop Zeke from giving you a cake, watching with bated breath as it smashes into your face. He turns away, just like he’s supposed to, but his eyes accidentally land on the one place in the audience he shouldn't be looking at. His stomach plummets. Has she been on her phone this whole time? After running from everything this whole night, it finally gets the best of him. He can’t stand it any longer, running into the wings as you let out an ear shattering scream, loud enough to finally make her look up.
“Someone… is going… to pay for this!” you yell furiously, before the lights go down. The curtain draws to a close as applause thunders through the building. The lights in the house go up for intermission, and you hear a slow rise of chatter as people mill about and make conversation as you exit the stage. You grab a makeup wipe a stagehand has ready, thanking them as Natalie calls out that intermission is starting, and you have 20 minutes to places for act two.
“Thank you 20,” you call out distractedly, searching for Ricky. You run to the back, wiping the rest of the whipped cream off your face, and check the boys dressing room to see if he’s in there. He is, sitting in there by himself, seeming worse than before. One look at his face and you know something else happened.
“She was on her fucking phone the whole time!” he states in disbelief, “Like…” The words dry up as he holds a pillow in his lap in a death grip.
“Oh my god…” you say, shaking your head. He’s not doing good, clearly. No one would be in his position. He pulls you in for a hug as soon as you’re close enough, one you reciprocate. He holds onto you tight, feeling just a little more stable as soon as you’re in his arms. Surrounded by your familiar grasp, it’s just a little easier to breathe, to think clearly. Unfortunately, it also means he has a much clearer grasp on everything that’s happened tonight and how it’s affecting him, how he feels about it. His dad is right behind you, and he lets go of you long enough to stand up and greet him. His dad pulls him into a hug, patting his back.
“I’m so sorry, kid. I had no idea she was going to pull something like this.” Mike’s voice wavers, and when Ricky doesn’t answer, you know it’s because he’s choked up. Miss Jenn enters a moment later, walking over to Ricky and Mike.
“The both of them have been removed from the premises.” She states.
“Thank you,” Mike says earnestly.
“Oh, it was nothing a little faked parking violation couldn't take care of," she says, earning a small smile from Mike. She turns to Ricky, continuing. “I filled you dad in on what’s been going on, too.”
“Maybe we should just go home,” Mike offers, knowing he probably won’t want to.
“No,” he protests, “I can do act two, I want to. Plus, if we leave now, she’ll know where we are and she’s going to ambush us again, and-”
“The one place you’re guaranteed not to run into her is here at the theater.” you finish quietly.
“Yeah,” Ricky agrees, motioning to you. Mike considers, weighing his options. Since she’s gone, if Ricky thinks he can handle it, he doesn’t see why he can’t do the second half of the show - especially since he seems to want to so badly. Maybe now isn’t the time to take that away from him, even if he means well.
“Okay,” he sighs. “But if anything happens, if you change your mind at all-”
“You’re the first to know.” Ricky agrees quickly.
“I want you to stay plugged in with me, okay?” Mike says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Text me when you’re not onstage, let me know how you’re doing.” Ricky agrees again. Miss Jenn looks between them.
“Alright. Well, in that case, Ricky, you should get changed for act two.” She says with a tentative smile. He nods.
“Thank you. Thank you guys.” he says sincerely to his dad and Miss Jenn. Before you leave, you catch his eye.
“I’m going to refill my water, then I’ll be back here, okay?”
“Sounds good." He says, "Hurry back,” he adds quickly, giving you that sweet look with those big puppy dog eyes, and it makes your chest squeeze.
“Absolutely.” you agree.
You barely leave the dressing room before you're met with Nina. She barges forward and stands in front of you, arms crossed, and you realize she's waiting for you to move out of the way so she can get into the boys' dressing room. You don't budge.
“I need to talk to Ricky. I heard what happened, and I'm the only one who can convince him to go on for the second act, and I don’t need you-”
“Wow,” you begin, cutting her off, once again amazed at her audacity, “now is really not a good time. Don’t go in there and stir things up.”
She looks you up and down, letting out an indignant scoff.
“Don’t act like you know him like that. I’ve known him since we were in kindergarten, I know him better than anyone.”
You take in a deep breath, trying so hard to stay patient.
“Sure. You know him better than anyone.” you say, in a pacifying tone, “So you should know the last thing he needs is more pressure on him when he’s in the middle of a family crisis, right?” The question is rhetorical, and you continue, patience with her finally starting to run thin. “If you actually care about him, then for the sake of his well being you’ll leave him alone and let him get through this. Now is really not the time, Nina, read the goddamn room!”
The sentence is finished with an aggravated, humorless laugh. Your priorities right now are Ricky, and getting through opening night. You need to help him process some of the shit that's been happening tonight, make sure he’s okay, so he can perform like he wants to. The last thing he needs is Nina barging in there and telling him he’s letting the cast down, or that he’s not serious about theatre, and that he should have quit after auditions - all of which you’ve heard more times than you can count over the duration of rehearsals, even up to a few days ago.
You’ve tried so hard to be patient with her, but dear god, she’s really starting to get on your last nerve - nevermind the fact that you have a special type of hatred for the kind of people like Nina, who shit on people that are still learning about something they have more experience in; like telling someone they’re not serious about theatre because it’s their first show, for example.
“Do not fuck with him right now.” you state, rolling your eyes at her shocked expression.
You push past her, walking over to the water fountain. She watches you walk away, mouth hanging open, and lets out an indignant scoff. You swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong tonight, if one more person tries you, you’re going to absolutely lose it. You take a few deep breaths as you fill up your bottle, trying to calm down and center yourself a little. Once you’re done, you start to walk back to the dressing rooms, but you’re stopped by a woman who is definitely not cast or crew. She sees you and approaches, seeming a little pissy.
“I’m looking for Ricky Bowen?” she states. As she speaks, your stomach drops.
You recognize her voice from when you heard it on the phone, and from the voicemail Ricky showed you over Thanksgiving. This is Lynne Bowen. As in, the Lynne Bowen. The one that left. The same woman who’s made such a tactless and selfish decisions over and over that have ultimately caused her son to be on the verge of a breakdown just down the hall from where you’re standing right now.
“You are not supposed to be back here.” you state, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this. You pull out your phone and text Miss Jenn, ‘code red, really need backup’.
“Can you just tell me where Ricky Bowen is? I’m his mother.” she says it in a way immediately expects sympathy from you, sympathy she doesn’t receive. You stare at her blankly, and she continues, much less kind than she’d been pretending to be. “I need to see my son, okay? Maybe when you’re a mother someday you’ll understand-”
You’re not sure what about her, about the way she’s talking to you specifically is the last straw for you, but your patience is already running so thin it’s practically transparent. Against your better judgment, you cut her off.
“He does not want to see you. He doesn’t want to speak to you - or be anywhere near you right now, for the record - and you need to fucking respect that, okay?” you say decisively, offense written all over her face, “And you are really not allowed to be backstage if you’re not cast or crew, which you’re clearly not-”
“You are way out of line, young lady!” she yells, “I don’t care if he doesn’t want to talk. I’ll talk to him if I want to; I’m his mother.” She adjusts her purse, clearly expecting you to fold, to tell her where he is. You know you should keep your mouth shut, you know you should be diplomatic and patient and professional like you always are, you should wait for Miss Jenn to handle this, but you’ve spent the past three months watching Ricky suffer because of this woman and her choices. You can’t stay quiet when the woman who hurt him is right in front of you.
“I think you lost the right to pull that shit when you walked out the door and chose not to be in his life!” you snap, a dangerous smile on your face. The stunned look on her face is better than anything you’ve ever seen. It’s clear no one has ever tried to take her down a peg until now.
“How dare-”
“You gave him a free pass to hate you forever, because you’re not the parent who stayed! You didn’t try-”
Your words lose momentum as you find yourself suddenly looking at the wall to your right, your cheek stinging. The sound of her slapping you across the face echos across the walls for a moment before fading away, and you freeze, tears prickling the corners of your eyes from shock.
“Listen here you little slut,” she says, much more ferocious than before. All facades of a concerned mother have melted away. “You have no right to talk to me like that-”
“What the fuck?!”
You snap out of it, and she turns around at Ricky’s voice at the end of the hall.
“Ricky, my baby,” she starts, walking toward him, but she’s thrown off at how distant he seems toward her. “I’m sorry you had to see that, this girl is so-”
“Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” His voice is stone cold as he brushes past her, analyzing your expression closely to see if you’re alright.
“Are you okay?” he asks, voice shaky.
“I’m fine,” you say as calmly as possible, “are you okay?”
He’s decidedly not, but he tries to pull himself together.
“If you are, that’s all that matters.” Behind him, growing impatient, Lynne takes a step forward.
“Ricky,” she demands. He takes a breath, and leans closer to you.
“You should change for act two.” You look between them, wishing there was something else you could do, some way that you could make this better. You agree, stopping before you leave for your dressing room.
“Text me if you need anything.” you say seriously, and he agrees, understanding the subtext of your words. Text you if he needs backup, or if it gets to be too much, because you’re there for him. Lynne moves toward him again.
“Can we talk?” she says with a domineering tone to her voice, and you both know it’s not a question. You want to object, but all he wants is to get her away from you. He nods, indicating you should go, and you do - albeit, very reluctantly. He turns back to her.
“Yeah,” he says seriously, “I think we need to.”
She grabs his arm to lead him down another stretch of hallway, but he shakes her off immediately, walking a few feet in front of her.
“Ricky, are you alright?” she demands, once they’re relatively out of earshot. She crosses her arms. “I was so worried about you when you ran offstage like that.”
“I’m surprised you noticed.” he murmurs. She either ignores him or doesn’t hear. Regardless, she continues.
“Why did you leave? Is it stage fright? Because a lot of people are counting on you, honey. You made a commitment to this-”
“You’re one to talk about commitment,” he mutters, voice low, but loud enough to be heard. His impulse control is not at all where it should be, especially with how she just talked to you, what she called you.
“I’m sorry?” Lynne demands. She’s not used to Ricky yelling at her. She’s always had a lot of influence over him. He used to do everything she said, he’s always been such a mama’s boy until now.
“I mean, do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?” he snaps, “Did you even care that you ruined the only thing I’ve been able to count on in my life- I can never get this night back, Lynne. And now…” he trails off, trying so hard to regulate his emotions, even though he knows he’s out of control. He takes a shaky breath, trying with everything he has inside him to reign it back in a little.
“...Why would you bring him to the show?”
Lynne looks stunned at his question.
“Wh-” she starts, “This is about Todd?”
“Why would you bring him here?” He demands, repeating himself.
“I…” she struggles for an answer, “wanted him to meet you.” she infuses as much guilt into her words as she can. He should feel bad for the way he’s speaking to her. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to throw you off.”
It doesn’t work this time, and he refuses to back down, to fawn for her. He doesn’t buy it for a second.
“So you waited until I was suspended, mid air over a basketball hoop, for me to see you all… cozied up together? You didn’t think - not for one second - that might be just a little upsetting to me?!”
“Ricky-”
“And what about dad, huh? How do you think he feels watching you feel each other up right in front of him?” tears brim in the corners of his eyes as everything he’s been suppressing all night, all these weeks and months finally breaks the surface. She lets out an indignant scoff and tries to say something, but he ignores her and keeps going. It’s an avalanche now, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.
“He didn’t leave the couch for a week after you left!” he roars, remembering how hard it was to see his dad like that, to have to be the one to drag him out of it.
“...I didn’t know that-”
“How could you?!” he laughs bitterly, "You weren't there!" He screams. He doesn't think it's ever felt better to say something than it does now. "You weren't there the whole time I was rehearsing, you weren't the one running lines and going over blocking, and teaching me how to listen for cues and do stage makeup and quick change! You weren't there for any of the work that went into this, and you just waltz in here with the newest guy you're screwing to your fucking son's musical like you've been here the whole time, but you havent!" He's never yelled at her like this, but a part of him thinks after how much she hurt him - and his dad - it's long overdue. "You don't get to enjoy this show, and you don't get to be around me, or dad, or anything we do because you walked out!"
"You are way out of line-" she starts, voice cracking.
"No, you know what’s way out of line?" He demands, all too ready to throw her words back in her face. "Breaking my heart, breaking dad’s heart, then acting like everything is fine when it’s not!"
"You think I wanted to leave you?!" She screams back at him.
"Yeah," he answers quickly, "I do, because you did! And you know what? I'm glad you left." He spits, watching the pain grow in her eyes, his words like venom.
"All you do is hurt us."
She blinks like she was just slapped. He takes a step forward, shaking, angry tears silently spilling from his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is low and dead serious.
"Don't call me anymore."
Before she can say anything, he starts to walk away. She calls out to him, desperate to get the last word in, to make him know how much pain his words have caused her.
"You are really hurting me, Ricky." She says, voice shaking as she cries, "you're breaking your mother's heart."
The sound of his mother crying like that because of something he said should have wrecked him, but he pushes away any last remaining scraps of guilt his rage hasn't burned away yet. He turns back to her, no love in his eyes, and laughs bitterly.
"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. You know, the one thing I got from you is the ability to ruin any relationship I have, so thanks for that, mom." He spits, turning to leave. She takes a step forward.
"Don’t you walk away from me-"
"Like mother like son, huh?" He barks. With that, he's gone. He doesn't stick around for any more of her manipulation or guilt tactics. He just really, really needs to see you right now.
#ricky bowen#ricky bowen x reader#ricky bowen angst#hsmtmts#hsmtmts x reader#hsmtmts angst#high school musical the musical the series#high school musical the musical the series x reader#high school musical the musical the series angst#:)#brace yourself#not sorry for this btw#it does in fact get worse#rocks at your window
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MCU Eternals Romantic!Ikaris X Reader & Platonic!Druig X Reader AU Idea (AKA my ADHD/Neurodivergent brain is whipping my butt)
Ok so, I'm just going to spare y'all the misery and brain spiral I put both @valeskafics & @its-actually-minicika through, and give the most recent one. This is a really long post as it will go into a lot of detail about the character's personality and her interactions with other characters. Please read through it, and if you hate the idea. Don't be a jerk! Just move on, and ignore this post! But if this is something that you think would be interesting to read: like it and/or let me know in the comments, or send it to a friend you think will find this idea interesting!
So it goes without saying that the MCU Eternals' fandom has unanimously agreed that Druig is best boi/edgelord, and I have no disagreements with that. Hell I basically live on Tumblr's 'druig x reader' tag. BUT I too thirst after Ikaris (AKA Not-Mother's-Favorite)...look, it's Richard Madden, I'm only human.
If you are one of the maybe 10 followers I have, you will know that I am already writing 2 other fics (a Robb Stark x Yi Tish!OC, and an Ikaris X Water Elemental!Reader). But if you read this post's title...you will see that my ADHD brain refuses to listen to reason...and since starting to write fanfiction...it has only gone into overdrive. You will also know that I love drawing inspiration from mythology...and dragons but that's another discussion.
BACK TO THE POINT! So I have seen a lot of Nature Eternal!Reader x Druig fics, and I love all of them. But I read @spacetalbot's Druig x Reader x Ikaris fic where the reader is basically Persephone, AND @winterlves's Ikaris x reader fic where the reader is Thor and Loki's sister who controls nature. Needless to say...I became obsessed.
Basically, I wanted to explore the idea of an Eternal!Reader whose powers are like Persephone (Chlorokinesis, Geokinesis, Fertility Manipulation, etc.). And while Druig is like Hades, he serves more as this reader's overprotective older brother/guardian. Instead, her main love interest in this idea will be Ikaris.
Druig and Hades actually share a good amount of similarities to each other. Both are mostly disliked/not popular amongst the Pantheon/Eternals and humanity, both are secluded to their own domain/community, both are much more somber compared to their family members, and the list can go on. But the reason I wanted to use Ikaris as the main love interest is mostly to due with his attitude towards humanity and how he interacts with them. While life goes on for everyone else, it just sort of "stops" for him. He doesn't really make any effort to connect with them outside of being with Sersi, and when he leaves her, we don't see any further attempts. And this is where Persephone!Eternal kind of comes in.
Now, unlike my other Oc's/Reader fics, I actively plan on writing this reader to show neurotypical symptoms. For example, she will show signs of having trouble emotionally connecting/socially interacting with others. Her mind will wander in meetings and need a nudge to focus back. She might unintentionally put off someone by how she phrases her question/response. She will prefer to study the differing flora and fauna in the places they visit than interact with people. While she does hold some love and affection towards them, she knows that it's not her the humans love, but rather what she can provide for them. This last part is kind of what lays the foundation to Ikaris' and the Reader's connection.
One scene I intend to write that really shows how Persephone!Eternal's mind works is how she interacts with Phastos when he describes the steam engine to Ajak. Personally, I headcanon that Druig likes to be around when Phastos is inventing something, but more just to be his annoying little brother. Persephone!Reader is not at all tech-savvy, but it's how Phastos' thinks of his ideas that fascinates her. What materials would be needed to build it? Does the materials need to be first sourced by humans? Is the conversion of high pressure to low pressure like when an area with a lot of water flowing into an area with low amount of water? If I decide to write Ikaris seeing this, it will make him notice how Persephone!Reader's mind definitely works differently than his. As normally, he wouldn't question Phastos, just accept it and move on. But he would notice how you are the only one to really connect with him by how you don't outwardly mock him like Kingo or Sprite, and by being the only Eternal to act genuinely interested despite not technologically inclined.
Another scene would be how Persephone!Reader was supposed to be attending a feast for the harvest, and so Ajak sends Ikaris to look for her. He finds her in a secluded area of a forest, and with a cow and her calf. He is confused and so Reader explains that she noticed that the cow had been eating much more lately and been much more tired and unable to work. She overheard the humans wanting to kill it, but then she noticed that the cow was in fact pregnant. So while the feast was busy, she snuck away and made an area so that the cow could safely give birth in peace. Ikaris would notice that Persephone!Reader is smiling and much more at peace alone, than in a crowded area with tons of laughter and noise. You are worried that Ajak will find out and make you not see the animals anymore, but Ikaris promises you that he will keep your secret, and that he will just tell her that you weren't feeling well. This furthers your connection.
Another one is where there had been a big dispute amongst the humans, and some people are severely hurt. Druig and Ikaris get into a fight about it since it was under Ikaris' order that Druig not engage. Ikaris is impassive and stern and Druig calls him a coward. Persephone!Reader is seeing the fight and asks Ikaris why he wouldn't let Druig stop it, if he can do it, why not let him? Ikaris retorts stating that it isn't their place to settle their disputes, to which Reader states that he should care about the humans, and not be so cruel. Ikaris gets angry and tells reader that it is not his job to justify his reasonings to Druig or anyone else, much less her. So he storms away. A few hours pass, and Ikaris hasn't been seen by anyone, not even Ajak or Sersi. Reader finds him in a hidden area and notices that his face is very tired looking. Reader realizes that she has made a big misjudgement on her part in saying that Ikaris doesn't care, and is very careful in saying she is sorry. Ikaris is still upset and tells her to go away. But Reader just stands there and doesn't move, refusing to leave him alone. She eventually gives him a hug stating that she was wrong and she was sorry, and that she should have known better. This comforts him a lot as he allows the hug. Reader also makes him a wreath of flowers of her appreciation of him as her leader, but mostly as her friend.
I got a ton of scenes planned, so like and/or comment of what you think!
If you are still waiting for my Robb Stark x OC fic! The 3rd chapter will be out soon!
Edit: I reblogged this post to add on some headcanons of an additional Eternal!Reader who is Hecate. Check out the reboot part in Notes to see it!
#ikaris imagine#ikaris x reader#ikaris#druig x reader#druig imagine#eternals x reader#marvel x reader#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel eternals
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Tipsy
peter parker x reader
summary: Peter plans to ask you out tonight–sober, but instead he asks you out drunk
warnings: peter not being able to handle his alcohol
w/c: 3.7k
a/n: i posted this last week but of course tumblr was being a bitch and it didn’t show up in the tags but enjoy!
masterlist
“Do you know when she’ll be here?” Peter leaned against the bar, looking over the choices on what he could possibly get.
“Dunno--can I get a whisky?” Harry asked the bartender and they nodded, going to get a glass and the bottle.
Peter sighed as the man handed the glass to Harry then looked over to him, “you?”
“Just the water's fine.” He nodded and left the boys alone again. Harry gave Peter a strange look as he sipped his drink. “Wanna keep a clear head for tonight.” He explained. “I think I’m going to ask her out.”
Harry raised his eyebrows, almost choking on his drink. “You’re doing it tonight, huh? Think you’ll chicken out again?”
The bartender placed Peter’s water on a napkin and left to tend to someone else. Peter rolled his eyes at his friend's words. “I’m not going to chicken out-”
“-again-”
“Not the point. But it’s simple, all I have to do is offer a drink, flirt, then ask her out on a date.” Peter said, matter-of-factly. “There is no better place to ask her out.” Peter gestured to the rest of the large room with guests all around.
Tonight's gathering was one of Tony’s charity balls, with a surprising amount of celebrities and just overall rich people coming to show support and donate--although, most of them probably were there for alternative motives. In Stark fashion, the ball was extravagant. The room itself was most likely worth more than Peter himself; chandeliers with expensive diamonds dangling, priceless paintings hung up on the walls. And the people attending were a completely different type of rich. Gold rings and silver necklaces adored peoples bodies. Suits and dresses styled to perfection, not a piece of imperfection in sight.
It was safe to say that this is one of the most classy events that Peter has ever, and will ever, attend. There was no better place than to ask you out. Not to mention he had it all planned out: first he would offer you one of your favorite drinks, do some casual flirting, and then ask if you want to go out on a date. Though, now that he was here--waiting for you--he soon realized that this plan was not specific enough at all.
“Dude,” Harry snapped Peter out of his thoughts and pointed at the staircase. He turned around as his jaw slacked a little. You were wearing black gown, one that made Peter swear you were an angel. Not an imperfection in his sight.
Except for the devil that had his arm around you.
You were smiling, the type of smile that is only shown when he makes you laugh, not whoever you were with. Not this person who doesn’t know you like he does.
“Who is that?” Peter spat, his words a bit too harsh for not knowing what was going on.
“Mhmm.” Harry squinted his eyes to get a better look at who you were with, and to focus a bit better. “Manny something… I think his dad is some other tech giant.” Harry waved over the bartender, “can I have another?”
“Can I have one too?” Peter asked, sighing as he rubbed his forehead.
“Thought you wanted a clear head?” Harry joked, trying to change Peter’s suddenly unpleasant demeanor.
“Thought you were supposed to hype me up?” Peter said tad harshley. The bartender placed the two glasses each on their own napkins and Peter quickly drowned his glass, it stung the back of his throat and started coughing.
Harry patted his back and took a sip of his own, biting his lip to hold back a laugh. “It’s a sipping whisky, dude.”
“No shit.” He coughed again, then straightened his back. “And there’s no point in keeping a clear head now. Not with him around.”
“Peter, stop being so fucking dramatic over everything.” Harry sighed, then when he glanced away from Peter and caught your eye and smiled, he quickly shoved at Peter to get him to focus.
“Hey boys.” You chimed, still walking next to your friend. “This is Manny.”
Harry greeted him with a handshake while Peter just asked for another glass. “Nice to meet you. From Roxxon Energy right?” Harry quired.
The tall man chuckled, “yeah, me and my dad are here to support and donate to the charity. We always take on the opportunity to support the homeless” Peter turned around with a glass in hand and you removed your hand from Manny’s arm. “I ran into y/n just outside and we wanted to catch up.”
“I thought it was a charity for kids-” Peter started
“That’s nice, anyway I’m Harry and this,” Harry shoved Peter, interrupting him while pulling him away from his drink. “This is Peter, excuse his moodiness.”
Peter rolled his eyes and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing, not wanting to be on the receiving end of one of his moods. You knew better of course. Last time he was like this was when you missed hanging out with because of work, you tried to make it up to him, but he was acting just like this.
“Peter, I'm so sorry I’m late.” You slammed his door shut as you dropped your bag and jacket on the floor to look for him. “Peter?” You shouted, but there was no response.
You entered his kitchen and saw a single dirty plate, and excess food stuffed away in the pot that was still on the stove. You raised an eyebrow, but didn’t think too much of it. Maybe he just made too much? Maybe he just wanted leftovers for lunch tomorrow?
You didn’t realize until now that soft music was playing. When you looked over to the table, you saw it was set up for one person, while the other spot opposite it was bare, excluding the placemat where Peter must have sat.
“Peter?” You yelled again, continuing to look around the apartment. You heard a crash then what sounded like a tumble from down the hall and you quickly to the sound.
You entered his room and found him sitting up on his bed, bottle of alcohol in hand, with his laptop open playing some weird video compilation.
“Peter?”
He looked up at you and you saw his red puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, and an alcohol stained shirt. His eyes widened as he quickly wiped his nose with the back of his hand and hid the bottle on his side poorly behind a pillow. He slammed the laptop shut and threw it to the opposite end of his bed and used another pillow to cover his face.
“Peter.” Your voice was stern but laced with concern. You went over to his side of the bed and calmly sat down in the right spot so you weren’t touching him. You took the bottle and kicked it further away from you both, regardless if it even had any liquid left in it, it smelt revolting and with Peter’s alcohol stench, you didn’t need anything else clogging your senses.
“Peter, come on, you should at least lay on your side.” Peter pulled the covers up over him and you sighed. But to your surprise, he reluctantly did as he was told and rolled over to his side. Away from you of course, but you didn’t know why he was acting like this.
Normally when he’s drunk he gets all loud and starts laughing at the most random things. But now? It was clear to you that he was at least a little tipsy, but why did he start drinking? Did it have something to do with you working late? Or whatever evening he had planned.
“I’m going to get you some water, alright?” You patted him on his back through the bedding and got up. On your way to the bathroom, you put his laptop on the floor, just so it wouldn’t get crushed. You filled a cup up and walked back to his room and held out his drink for him.
“Drink.”
Peter shuffled around under the covers and shook his head.
“Come on Peter, I don’t know how much you’ve had tonight and you need to stay hydrated.”
“No, I’m perfectly fine.”
“Peter-”
“No, just leave, I’m fine.” Peter grumbled a little louder this time. “Just go.”
You sighed and quickly thought about what to do. You didn’t want to leave him alone, not in this state, but you wanted to respect his wishes.
“I’m leaving the water here.” You placed the glass on his bed side table and got up. “I’m going to crash on the couch tonight, let me know if you need anything, ‘k.”
Peter grumbled, but not stopping you from staying, knowing damn well that all his super strength couldn’t get you out if he even tried--not that would ever want to. When he heard his bedroom door shut, he let out a breath. He partly sat up and started drowning the water; thankful for your presents at last.
“I’m not moody.” Peter groaned, but reluctantly held out his hand for Manny to shake. Manny smiled and Peter gave a half hearted one back, though Manny didn’t seem to notice or care; Peter used his strength and squeezed his hand just a bit too much, when Manny let go, he rubbed his hand. “Just thirsty.” He took another sip of a different beverage that he somehow ordered with a sly smirk.
Harry eyed him suspiciously and made a mental note to ask about it later. He clearly saw how irritated Peter was and knew that calling him out on it infront of you would make everything worse.
“It was nice meeting both of you, and y/n, let me know how that offer turns out.” Manny smiled, politely kissed your cheek then left. You waved him off but didn’t see Peter's jaw tese or his nose flare.
“What's this offer of yours?” Peter spoke up, a little bolder as the drinks were starting to hit him.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” You blew it off, moving past them for the bar. “Just a water please.” You told the bartender and he handed you your drink.
“No, no, don’t blow us off. What's this offer?” Harry nudged you, giving you a smile to butter you up. “I’ll pay for our lunch tomorrow.”
“Fine,” You sighed. “I kinda got this offer for an important position at my work...” You sheepishly said. Peter and Harry’s eyes went wide and looked like they were going to shout. “Shut up, I can’t say much about it yet, but I’m really proud of it so far-”
“Y/n, I’m so happy for you!” Harry yelled a little too loud for your liking, but luckily everyone was too engrossed in their own anecdotes to their friends to care about people at the bar.
“W-why didn’t you tell us?” Peter asked, his voice was softer than before. Not as aggressive but more stressed and confused. Every detail about Peter’s life, he shares with you; and he easily understands how you aren’t as open as him, but this? Leading a foundation and doing your dream work? How could you not share any of this with him first?
“It's a lot of publicity and I wasn’t sure if I could handle everything.” You shrugged, drinking your water. “Plus it wasn’t important.”
“How could it not be important?” Peter bellowed. This did turn some heads and you could hear some whispers. Heat went to your cheeks at the drifting eyes and you never so badly wanted to punch Peter.
“Peter, what's got you so mad?” You asked.
“Nothing! I’m perfectly fine!” Peter drowned another drink and tried to walk away, but in reality, ended up stumbling away, only barley not falling on the floor and embarrassing himself.
“What's wrong with him?” You wondered out loud as he walked away, taking a glass of champagne from a tray on the way.
Harry wondered what he should say for a moment. It was obvious that he was upset that your friend was with you, Peter was jealous and it seemed that everyone knew it too. “Dunno”
He wondered what he should do, but before he could say anything more you both turned your heads at the sound of glass breaking. Everyone seemed to have the same idea as you, heads were turned to the direction of the sound and you saw Peter standing suspiciously close to the broken glass.
You looked back to Harry and you both groaned. Lucky, Peter distanced himself from the accident, but looking at him he had a guilty face on and you knew he was at fault here.
“I’ll deal with it.” You grabbed a cup of water as you headed for Peter’s direction and pushed your way through the crowd, all of which seemed to go back to their own conversations, completely ignoring what just happened. Although, the workers at the party seemed to give Peter a side eye.
“Peter!” You whisper-yelled. His head snapped up to you and he smiled, champagne from his newly acquired glass dripping down the sides of his mouth and onto his suit. “Get over here!” You pulled his arm, subtly taking him away from the people and into a bare hallway.
“What he actual fuck were you thinking?” Now you could yell at him properly this time. Making sure your words got through his tipsy brain. “You’re really stupid aren’t you?”
Peter leaned against the wall and slid down so he was sitting on the floor. You kneeled down in front of him and handed him the water.
“You’re pretty you know?” He smirked, or tried too. The complete 180 of his moody behavior earlier which took you by surprise.
“Drink.” You pushed the cup up to his lips with your fingers.
Peter smiled and as he took a sip, he remembered his plan: offer drink, flirt, confess. You were the one who offered the drink so he might as well skip that one, and with the alcohol burning threw his system he might as well start, in the best way he can, to flirt.
“Why are you blinking like that? Are your eyes okay?” You fretted. You cupped his face and moved it to the light, close to poking his eye.
“W-what do you mean? That was supposed to be a wink.” Peter whined, hitting his head a little too hard back against the wall, causing him to let out a groan.
“Winks are only supposed to be with one eye dumbass, you were blinking.”
Peter scoffed and moved your hand away, “that was a wink.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“Oh come on, just let me have this.” Peter uttered. “Just believe me, it was a wink.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” You sat down completely now, making sure not to scruff the dress you were wearing.
“But you did see it--you know what, nevermind.” Peter huffed, “You just don’t believe me.”
“What even is there to believe?” You muttered. “More importantly, why did you get drunk tonight?”
“Why are you so pretty?”
“Why can you just answer the question?”
“Why can’t you just answer the fucking question?” Peter raised an eyebrow, or tried to raise an eyebrow. He ended up just raising both and flaring his nostrils, looking stupid. He giggled a bit and smiled, a couple drops of water dripping down the corner of his mouth.
“I don’t even know what to say, just-” you paused, trying to find the right words. “Just how are you feeling, do you want me to get more water?”
“Why are you not taking me seriously! I’m fine.” Peter grumbled, but when he looked at you, he knew that you still doubted him. Your eyes were wide and unmoving from his head looking for any sign of injury, it was clear how much you didn’t think Peter was capable of doing much of anything.
“Maybe because you’re trying to flirt with me?” You answer. “You’re absolutely smashed and going through one of your moods.”
“You wouldn’t even believe me if I confessed and said that I love you.”
“BECAUSE YOU'RE DRUNK AS HELL!” You yelled before taking a quick breath to calm yourself down. “You can’t think straight and everything you’re saying is bullshit.”
“But it’s true! Grant it, I didn’t want you to find out now but I really do! I-I had this whole plan and I was going to ask you out then mr jawline came in and then I got nervous and started drinking and then getting clumsy and here we are!”
You blinked at him a couple of times then reached for his empty cup. “I’m going to get you a refill. Don’t move.”
You got up, leaving him trying to ramble his way to get you to stay but you ignored him. To you, it sounded like nonsense and there was no point in staying. You spotted Harry still over by the bar, talking to someone you couldn’t quite recognize. When he saw you, he excused himself and ran up to you.
“What's up with Peter?”
“Drunk out of his mind.” You scoffed. “Babbling random nonsense at me, needs to sober up quickly.” You gestured for another glass.
“Oh yeah, what's he saying?”
“Confessed his ‘love’ for me.” You chuckled. The bartender handed you another glass of water.
Harry’s eyes bulged out of his head as he spat his drink back into his cup. “Really?”. In all honesty, he never believed that Peter would actually go through with his plan, nevertheless while drunk. He wouldn’t even go through his plan when you came to his place a couple hours late. He’s too much of a perfectionist.
You laughed again. “Yeah, normally he's all moody when he’s drunk, now he’s just acting all weird.”
“Do you love him?” Harry asked. You brows quirked at the question, normally Harry would never intrude on anyone's personal life, at least not this directly.
“Why do you ask? It doesn’t really matter.” You sighed. When you heard the words come from Peter’s drunk mouth, you wanted to punch him for giving you false hope. All you have ever wanted for him to say it to you, but you never thought you had to specify that he meant it.
“Look, I’ve been contemplating on whether or not I should actually say anything but Peters being too much of a pain right now.” Harry sighed. “He does mean it when he said that he loves you, tonight he had a plan to confess but then he saw you with Manny, got scared and then got drunk.”
“I’m sorry, what-”
“Harry!” You turned around and saw Peter standing beet red and lips pursed. He came over and avoided your gaze. “Why the fuck did you say that” He whispered very loudly.
“Because you’re being too much of a pussy to say anything!”
Peter looked like he was going to be sick and you and Harry quickly took him back into the hallway. “We should get him home.”
Harry nodded, “I’ll get a car, are you okay waiting with him?”
“Yup.”
“Great, and don’t vomit.” Harry ran off quickly, leaving you and Peter alone.
A few seconds passed, you holding Peter's arm around your shoulders to keep him up but looking in completely different directions. Peter sighed and looked over to you, he was in no way sober yet. His head was pounding and he desperately needed some sort of medication, but looking at you took his pain away.
“I never wanted you to find out like this.” Peter started, pointing at his drunk self. “And I never wanted Harry to tell you.”
“It’s alright.”
“But I do love you. Do you-” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Do you feel the same way?”
“Peter, you really are too drunk for this conversation.” You sighed, looking back at him.
“But do you-”
“Yes, Peter. I do.” You sighed.
“Really?”
“Yes, now shut up, you’re gonna vomit if you get too excited.” Though, on the inside you were squealing like a kid on their birthday. He likes you. He wants to be with you. Out of everyone in the world, the billions of people living and breathing alongside you, he chose you.
Peter was thinking the same thing. The beautiful person that is you chose him. How he would ever get so lucky he has no idea, but he wants to thank every star for it. And unlike you, he was drunk out of his mind, and he is very emotional. He started tearing up a bit, sniffling and wiping his nose on the sleeves of his expensive suit.
You looked over to see a weeping man--more like a little boy--crying his eyes out and snuffling. He coughed a bit, then blew his nose in the fabric. You worried for a second you were a bit too harsh on him. You wrapped your arms around him and he buried himself in your chest. He smiled but still sniffled into your chest.
“A-are you okay?” You stuttered, not knowing how to deal with a crying drunk grown adult. You were just glad that no one else was around to see this.
“Yeah, but uh, I need to show you how much I love you.” He pulled apart from you.
“Maybe when you get home you can drink five cups of water?”
“No, no, no, that's not what I mean.” His hands went on top of his chest where his heart is. “I want to give you my heart because you own my heart. I don’t want it anymore! It’s not mine, it’s yours!”
“Peter-”
“It’s been yours since we first met!” He whined, and he went back to hugging you. “I-I just want you to have all of my love.” He snuffled again.
“We can talk about this more when you’re sober.” You decided. His rambling nonsense was sweet but also tiring for you and himself. “And don’t worry, you have my heart too.”
Peter hummed against your chest and you hugged him back. “I really hope I’m not too drunk to remember this.”
“Harry is never going to let you live today down, so I’m sure he’ll remind you in the morning.”
“I don’t think I’d mind.”
~~~
please reblog and share your thoughts!
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker smut#tasm!peter smut#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfic#peter parker fic#peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker#mcu!peter parker#mcu!peter x reader#spider-man#spiderman#spiderman smut#spiderman fluff#spiderman x reader
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KATE! Congratulations to you on your milestone. You bring joy and fun to this little corner of the void, and I'm really glad you share it with us.
I would love if you could make a 📜fic rec, please and thank you. I'll leave it up to you if you want to choose one show or the other (or both). It's your celebration, you do you! My only request is no dark!fic.
I'm curious to see what Star Trek fics/ships you enjoy. TNG is my forever love but if you're also a fan of Discovery or Strange New Worlds, I'm down.
And I was a fan of Stargate Atlantis back in the day. I didn't have a tumblr account then, but I did come across some stories and fanvids that I enjoyed. Which is your favorite ship?
And since you love flowers so much, and it's prime cherry blossom season....enjoy 💮 (I actually have a red cherry blossom tattoo. I love them)
hi!! thank you!! I feel the same way about your presence in our corner of the void 🧡😂 and thank you for the flowers! Flower tattoo high five 🧡
ok I have come up with a mix of ships and other things. If you like any of them please tell me! I would love to hear your thoughts and it’s cool if you don't like them.
...
Star Trek
(I have many Kirk/Spock recs but I avoided them here, let me know if you want any. That and DS9.)
illuminate a little space by zozo
rated T, Michael Burnham/Sylvia Tilly, 2k
Or: Five times Tilly didn’t realize Michael was trying to date her (and one time she did).
Past Duties by astolat
rated T, Picard/Q, 2.3k
Late in life, Picard has an uninvited guest.
Accidental by astolat
rated gen, Picard/Q, 678 words
Why it's a bad idea to surprise omnipotent beings.
These two go together and I think they are fascinating character studies of James Kirk (by elumish) (no ship):
Linguistic Ambiguities in Vulcan Ethical Codes
rated T, gen, 5.7k
The thing people always forget is that it was a Vulcan ship that reached Tarsus IV first.
Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations
rated T, gen (background Spock/Uhura), 6.9k
Kirk 619s as soon as the comm ends.
and if you'll forgive me for adding one from Deep Space Nine:
Unending Song by AuroraNova
rated gen, Jadzia Dax/Worf, 2.7k
When awareness starts to return, Jadzia’s first thought is, Julian pulled off another medical miracle. Then she realizes she’s surrounded by two dozen puzzled Klingons, and she reassesses.
She is, in fact, in Sto'Vo'Kor. It's not exactly how she envisioned death.
...
Stargate Atlantis
Ok first, some non-McShep fics:
My Home And Native Land by copperbadge
rated T, gen, 17.8k
Ronon's friendship with Chuck, the head Gate Tech of the Atlantis mission, leads him to discover the strange and alien ways of Canadians and helps him lay his past to rest.
Fieldwork by Rheanna
rated gen, Ronon/John, 3.1k
Ronon starts his e-mail correspondence with Sheppard's brother more or less by mistake.
I have a soft spot for fics that explore cultural things within the SGA universe, so here's a couple of those:
Pegasus Non-Verbal by igrab
rated T, Rodney/John, 6.3k
John always gets a little thrill when he sees Rodney sign at him across the room, casually dissing people literally standing next to him and John is the only one who knows.
Scenes from a Lesser War by amireal
rated M, Rodney/John, 20.4k
Don't ask don't tell is repealed and all of Atlantis tries to find their footing, except for John and Rodney, who just try to find each other.
Note: I think the structure of this fic is beautifully done.
and this fic is both beautiful and emotionally devastating. I love it and I cried a lot the first time I read it. It's more of a character study of Rodney and you'll see why if you read it. I can give you more extensive tags than the author did if you want them. I think about this fic like once a year at least. The second, shorter installment in the series is also amazing.
freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose by synecdochic
not rated, 19.2k
Because the meaning of life is "do the next thing", and we all carry the seeds of the past into our future. Futurefic, Rodney-centric.
followers celebration
#fic rec#bte600#mcshep#star trek#stargate atlantis#ask me anything#i hope you like at least one of these lol
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FAM S4 is coming HELL YEAH LFG fandom ask meme
In an effort to turn my hyperventilating about the S4 trailer in a (slightly) more productive direction, I thought it would be fun for the FAM enthusiasts on tumblr (the few, the proud, &c) to talk about what we love about the show so far and what we’re hoping for from the new season.
you can skip some of these questions if you don't feel like answering them! But if so, and if you tag people, point'em back here so that they have the full list.
non-main cast character you're hoping will return: crossing my fingers for Wayne Cobb, though I'd love to get Bill Strausser and Sally Ride back too. (I’d have said Will Tyler, but he’s already listed on IMDb for 4.1 HOORAY)
ongoing plot line you're most excited/anxious about: Margo's new life -- both what it's like and how she gets out of it (fingers crossed)
characters you’re hoping will finally interact: Danielle and Aleida
these two characters better get to interact again, or I will punch a wall: tie between Margo and Aleida and Margo and Sergei, I feel extremely strongly about both of these
character you're still mourning: Nick Corrado. You deserved better, my dude
fashion/design element from the late 90s/early 00s that you're hoping to see: track suits! (truly grieved that we won't get to see Karen Baldwin in a high-fashion tracksuit)
song from the late 90s/early 00s you're most hoping to hear: "One Week" by the BNL could be amazing if they had the right setting for it
awesome new tech you anticipate: some more efficient and convenient form of mass air transit
who do you think wins the 1996 presidential election? the 2000 election?: I'm convinced it's gonna be Al Gore both times.
your best guess about something that's in the newsreel: some sort of Iraq-Iran peace accord, driven by economic necessity since they can't rely on oil money
Something that probably won't be in the newsreel, but it would be amazing if it were: Prince and John Lennon play a benefit concert together! (Also I really wonder what they were planning to say about Middle-East politics that is now frantically being edited out)
tagging @tinyboatbigshark , @fangirlintheattic , @yamelcakes , @preraphaelite-wombat , @brightdarkly , @philippageorgiou , @reginaldbright , @destinationtoast and @midnight-els, although anyone else who sees this and wants to answer, please do and please tag me!!
#for all mankind#fandom ask meme#FAM s4#if you’re not already watching FAM don’t talk to me#or better yet#watch it and THEN talk to me
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an attempt
let's see if this works! hopefully by not tagging this it doesn't get recommended to anyone since. I feel like it reads as fucking insane without context (honestly even with context). but just in case if you're not reading the fic and somehow still ended up here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52369693/chapters/132478987
and before I say anything I’d like to first shout out this tumblr post for letting me link this in the chapter notes in the first place bc I Would Not Have figured it out myself: https://www.tumblr.com/gentrychild/653404474056081408/ao3-how-to-insert-imageslinks-into-the-notes-of#
so!! Milgram The Musical!! there’s a couple key parts to how I imagine the tech for this thing to work. I don’t know all the details for the format of the show (frankly it doesn’t matter a ton lol), but I’m imagining it to be like. for each prisoner, there’s interrogation (basically like their VDs, except on stage), then blackout for quick scene transition, and then they sing their song. then blackout and they move on to the next prisoner and rinse and repeat. except for 010 who Causes Problems, which would be the climax of the musical and leads into the theoretical resolution.
so yea! I figure there’s probably 12 songs? one for each prisoner, plus two group numbers at the beginning and end (Undercover ft. the prisoners singing their parts, plus an unspecified ending song lol). there’s only one trial bc that would be PLENTY enough content for a musical already, so the songs are probably some fusion of the t1 and t2 (and t3 when that comes out?) songs. idk the specifics of that don’t really matter. also just, note, none of the prisoners have names in the show bc even I have my limits lmao. so if I’m talking about the characters in the musical I refer to them by their number, if I’m talking about the characters in the fic they get their names.
but anyway the important thing is! I think the main tech objective for the show is to make sure the visuals and sound of every prisoner’s song feels distinct, both from the other songs and from the interrogation scenes. the secondary objective is that the songs should feel kinda surreal; they take place in the prisoner’s minds, so they should be very separate from “reality” (in quotes bc what even is Milgram). so most of my planning was done with that in mind :)
DECK:
okay. so! most of the show’s tech is probably lighting/projection-based to accomplish all the different tones and aesthetic shifts, but there are some fun little things with the deck too, not least of which being the y’know!! rotating disc!! à la Les Mis or Hamilton. I think it’d at least be super cool for Undercover and 010’s song (which has some Deep Cover stuff fs), and definitely in other places too because the songs are all kinda wild lol. I found this tutorial and, in my humble opinion, Kazui and Hinako are indeed insane enough as directors to want this, and Kotoko and Kazui are indeed insane enough to build this: http://theaterdad.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-make-revolving-stage.html?m=1
in terms of physical set pieces, there’s of course the interrogation table and chairs, which comes on for every interrogation and comes off after every “sing your sins.” there’s also the Warden’s chair (whatever the fuck Es is sitting on at the beginning of Undercover), and maybe some bonus pieces for the prisoners’ songs? like possibly school desks for 004, hospital bed for 005, round table for 010, that sort of stuff.
SOUND:
I don’t know a whole ton about sound, but I imagine Yuno’s trying to set it up so that the interrogation scenes feel like you’re watching two characters from the outside, and the songs feel like you’re immersed inside the character’s head (since yknow,,, that’s kinda the central conceit of the show lol). I’m envisioning that she’s gonna have the interrogation dialogue sound like it’s mostly coming from the stage (so like, the closer to the stage a speaker is, the louder it is), and the music sound like it’s kinda coming from everywhere at once (so all the speakers are similar volume). so that’s why she’s doing a ton of repatching to get the individual speaker control she wants to create that illusion. overall I think she’s just trying to have fun with the whole thing which. as she should!!
PROJECTION:
so!! like I said earlier a big goal for the tech of this show is to make everything feel distinct, and the projection would be a GIANT part of that. I’ve only worked one show with projection in it but there’s so many frickin possibilities you can do with it so,, here we go!
first of all—the INTERROGATIONS. most theaters have stage monitors (basically just security cameras pointed at the stage from the house, which can be viewed in dressing rooms so actors know where they are in the show and can keep track of their entrances). and I think it’d be really cool to also project that in the background in real-time as the interrogation scenes are happening (probably in black and white). partly to just make those scenes a bit more visually interesting, and partly bc I think it would severely fit the aesthetic?? plus that way, except during the blackouts, the projection won’t disappear and reappear as much, which I think would look cleaner and more cohesive.
BUT still very distinct!! bc in contrast to the camera vibes in the interrogations, the songs have their own cool colorful background art and visuals and fuckinnn stock footage projected!! whatever fits the vibe lmao. I think Haruka basically Goes Off—like the designer roles were decided for the show before they went on break, so he’s been working on this for months. each song’s visuals have their own style and color palette (yknow,, like how Milgram MVs work lol).
I’m gonna go on a whole separate rant about lighting but projection-wise:
001’s visuals mostly resemble the Weakness MV—so very colorful and very much drawn with nice smooth water/bubble animations, but also plus some of the edgy writing and glitchy stuff in All Knowing and All Agony. I think Haruka does project (haha,, pun) a little bit onto 001 (wow I can’t imagine why), so the art for that song hITS.
002’s aesthetic is probably closest to Umbilical with like. pink void, balloons, the DNA staircases (possibly Haruka’s first venture into 3D modeling? which he uses later for Undercover and stuff), and the photographs (provided by the actress), but I really like the water ripples from Tear Drop so there’s some of that in there too.
003 is most like Bring It On with all the video game aesthetic glitchy stuff going on, except add in a bit of spray paint imagery bc I think that’s really cool.
004 is probably mostly It’s Not My Fault? I mean BUGS,, and honey and stuff. some classroom things like in After Pain (specifically the chalkboard has some stuff on it?) and a few real-life shots, but a lot of weird bug things yknow.
005 is mainly Throw Down for all the flower symbolism (this is where flower stock footage comes in lmao), plus elements from Triage like the hospital bed, heart monitor, and of course the many many surgery receipts.
006 is based mostly on This Is How To Be In Love With You (magazine vibes, again photos provided by the actress), but with a bit of the angsty stuff in I Love You (the fucked up carousel is good shit).
007. is. interesting. since half and Cat are so different it’s a little hard to picture how the combined version would work (current idea is it starts slow and ballad-y for like. a couple lines, and then launches into jazzy vibes—perhaps something a bit like Theater by natori (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3rDLizb4sI)). but I’m imagining that 007 is a PERFORMER during his song. by that I mean when it gets jazzy he straight up walks down from the stage into the audience and has a whole Moment prancing around in the house with spotlights (aren’t we glad Fuuta set up the movers??). so my idea for the projection is that it’s mostly abstract and collage-y kinda like the instrumental break in Cat, and it does reflect the instruments (like the dancing saxophone lol), but it’s also got things like the apple, the glass, cigarettes, all the magic trick stuff, and the ring, and occasional cut-ins of irl stock photos of things like the bar. just little hints up there that are easy to miss if you’re focusing on all the Extremely Distracting actor in the audience and crazy dancing collage happening. also, color palette is probably warmer/red-er just to lean into the whole theater thing a bit more.
008!! I love the feltboard look at the end of Magic and I think that’s the main aesthetic the visuals would have, but with occasional cuts to irl photos of disturbing stuff like the taser. kinda like how Purge March does it? I almost feel like it’d be a bit like one of those analog horror things based on kids’ content, where the scary parts are 1) mostly just implied and 2) don’t last long but the juxtaposition is really jarring.
009 my beloved,, I really like the filming/camera vibes from MeMe, so the visuals probably involve a lot of that, and also the trains and glitch effects like in Double. ALSO. the MANNEQUINS. I have a mental image of Haruka sitting there debating what to do for 009, and then he looks up from his desk and sees his little pose reference mannequin and he’s like. Oh Yeah. so he takes pictures of it and photoshops it over/into some stuff, basically just turning it into like a whole mixed media art project thing (like this sort of vibe—Tatsuya Kitani MVs are frickin insane /pos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymtNhd_3CB8). and THEN. TAROT CARDS. after their pokémon battle Yuno lets Haruka borrow them, so he takes photos and uses them too (and uses the mannequins with them). the complicated disjointed mildly unsettling mixed media video collage aesthetic is *chef’s kiss* and I think it’d fit well with 009 and the film look.
010!! home stretch!! I don’t have much to say other than I think it mainly follows the Deep Cover vibes (bc seriously that MV is GORGEOUS), so plenty of chess piece imagery to go around. but also,,, wolves,,, more stock footage lmao.
and fINALLY!! UNDERCOVER!! very geometric and following the general Milgram aesthetic. definitely the projection design closest to the MV it’s based on. not to spoil anything but there might be a bit more detail on it next chapter? didn’t hear that from me tho ;)
and now!! hilariously short thing to finish this section off. after each prisoner’s song, there’s a blackout for them to exit and for the deck crew to set the interrogation table up for the next scene. during that transition I think it’d be fun if there was a pre-recorded video of them answering some of their interrogation questions as a little sendoff yknow? plus that helps not completely kill the momentum after each song.
LIGHTS:
oh my god. hi. me. HI. this is my SHIT. okay. so. LIGHTS. starting with a fun little aside about LEDs and incandescents—imo incandescent stage lights are the prettiest and most natural looking, buut they’re also less versatile than LEDs (for example, you need physical gels to change the color of incandescents, but a lot of LED light fixtures can have colors changed from the lightboard). there’s pros and cons to both and there’s pros and cons to having a mixed lights grid (currently working in a place with both—I actually like it personally but it is hard to match the colors/tones a lot of the time). most of the theater world is moving towards LEDs in general (partly for convenience, partly as regulations are shifting away from incandescents) but Kazui is a stubborn mf who’s held onto an incandescent grid for THIS long and he’s gonna keep it as long he possibly can lmao. Fuuta convinced him to let him overhaul the whole thing and mix in some LEDs over the summer (mostly a bunch of moving lights), so he’s got a bit of both to work with.
for the Milgram aesthetic, unnatural white LEDs is lowkey the vibe?? I think just a couple white spotlights on the interrogation table would kinda be all they need. Fuuta is definitely getting a shit ton of use out of his movers for that since they can be pointed in good angles as needed. and for UNDERCOVER,,, oh boy he has some FUN with that one. if you program them right white movers make really good searchlight lookin things let me tell you!! I did them for a show recently and they looked AWESOME but I didn’t get to keep them in the final version (“it’s not a light show” which. fair but ok) so I’m vicariously living my mover searchlight dreams through Fuuta <3 and also, the Undercover MV has a ton of cool white spotlight type things going on?? like spotlights pointed through bars which casts cool dramatic shadows. definitely he gets to play around a lot with that :D
and then on the flip side~!! for the prisoner songs!! I think the general lighting for those is mostly done with differently-gelled incandescents, since they just look much prettier and smoother in general. I think the more natural look would also help to make the songs more immersive, especially in comparison to the interrogations—Fuuta’s definitely the type of guy to take something like a hybrid grid and really use it to his advantage to emphasize that contrast in overall feel.
each prisoner song definitely has its own lighting scheme too, which are all set up to look cohesive in conjunction with the projections in each song, so now all those are getting balanced for color and intensity so it looks like it all flows together with the visuals.
001’s general wash color is like a bluish white? so like R#051 (Surprise Pink (it looks mostly white in practice)) plus a bit of blue. not a ton of color bc the projections here are so colorful.
002’s lights are actually probably cooler tones for the most part to contrast with the pink projection. largely based on Tear Drop since the lighting there is super blue and it’s so PRETTY.
003…R#003 Dark Bastard Amber my beloved <3 (nah but fr DBA looks so good on red hair, it’s also kinda golden-ish which I think would look good with the saturated video game color tones on the projection).
for 004 like. literally all of After Pain is so Surprise Pink it’s ridiculous (plus a bit of Dark Bastard Amber for like,, yknow the murder at sunset). I like Surprise Pink for the color contrast with the green honey, might also want to test some purple?
005! I’m thinking of this one gel color that’s a really nice soft light blue, I believe it’s R#60 No Color Blue? again not too much color for the lights here since the projection will have a lot of flowers.
006 is very much a pink wash. probably Surprise Pink mixed and contrasted with a darker purple? I haven’t worked with a ton of purple but it’s a pretty versatile color and I think it could be good for the angsty I Love You type projections.
007 would start in a special light, and then when he goes into the audience that’s all a person with a followspot lol. at that point there’d only be enough light on stage to keep the projection looking natural (very low DBA wash perhaps).
008 is another Surprise Pink-based lights wash without too much color since the visuals would be pretty vibrant on their own, but much darker and bluer for the grimmer projections. I feel like purple would be nice as an undertone for her for some reason?
009 is. interesting. I could see Fuuta having to rack his brain a little for this one (since I’m racking my brain over here lol), but. if I remember correctly No Color Blue plus a tiny tiny bit of Surprise Pink can kinda make a semi-convincing white white? I think that, plus some bright RGB Color Moments in the visuals, could hopefully do the job okay.
010 HI OKAY LET ME LIGHT THIS SONG PLEASE. fuckin BACKLIGHTS DUDE the SATURATED COLORS the PINK?!? THAT is R#039 SKELTON EXOTIC SANGRIA if I’ve EVER fuckin seen it (bro just trust me, the color itself looks hella dark but when there’s light shining through it it’s so VIVID and PRETTY okay I just. yes). that mixed with some kind of really saturated indigo (part of me is even wondering about black lights??) would be so good.
COSTUMES:
okay costumes!! so!! as we have seen Mikoto’s been very busy lol. he’s not the main costume designer but he’s like. assistant costume designer and the guy in charge of Making Stuff (lead craftsperson I think it’s technically called?), which in this case are the prisoner harnesses and the Warden costumes.
costume breakdown! each prisoner has their actual clothes, plus “jumpsuit” (whichever white jacket thing they have), and a harness. everything except the harnesses seems like it could probably just be bought/sourced from somewhere (which is still, I can say from experience, A Lot Of Work lmao,, so the rest of the costume team has been similarly busy). I’ve gone back and forth about whether they should change costumes for their songs, but I think everything’s smoother if they just keep the jumpsuit.
the exception is 010, who gets to do a quick change in the blackout before her song bc the Deep Cover drip is too good?? her harness and jumpsuit are probably attached somehow to be easy to remove at once. I’m imagining the way it works is that right at the blackout, the actress takes off the jumpsuit/harness setup, Mikoto goes on with deck crew for the scene transition with the coat, hat, and gloves (not enough time for a pants change so let’s just say she’s already wearing black pants and combat boots). he helps her get those on (let me tell you gloves are hARD in quick changes) and then he walks off with the jumpsuit/harness.
and finally the Warden! so Mikoto’s in charge of making the cape and the hat, and everything else can probably be sourced and modified as needed. someone’s probably having a lot of fun making the key necklace/props though!
well that was fun!! aren’t we glad I didn’t try to put all this in the notes?? I sure am lmao. the inherent slapdash-ness of the whole thing was kinda freeing actually and I had a blast just Saying Stuff, bc tech for Milgram The Musical has been living in my head rent-free for MONTHS and I’m glad I got to just put it all in words!! maybe I’ll do another one of these in the future if I need it lol. but anyway if you actually read to the end of this then 1) kudos <3 and 2) I hope it was at least moderately interesting, or at least enjoyable!
I don’t really know how to end this so. hope you have a nice day :D
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Welcome.
Ask is on. Anon is on. My inbox is pretty much always open for thoughts or thots, comments, ramblings, etc.
I’ll consider fic requests, but I’m a very slow creator with constantly multiplying ideas of my own so odds of my filling a request are somewhat low. But feel free to drop one if you just want to get it out into the world in some way. It might actually happen.
Like what you see here? Give me a follow. I usually follow back. And I don’t bite (without consent.)
Lins. She/Her. Taciturn, introverted, word lover. Annoyed atheist. Jaded feminist. Pramgatist.
Been in fandom since I was a wee teen in the late 90s.
I have a low tolerance for BS. (Like ship shaming, fandom policing and fandom purity culture - just to name a few things. Don't bring that here.)
I tag liberally, so if you have a problem with something (kink, ship, whatever), you can block the tag. Curate your own experience.
I’m currently living in the Star Wars fandoms, bouncing between the Prequels, Clone Wars and the Bad Batch. (Love the entirety of TBB, but I definitely have a huge soft spot for Tech, Echo, Crosshair. Especially Echo, my cyber cinnamon roll.) But I moonlight in others.
In addition to Tumblr, you can find me at:
Archive Of Our Own | ilcuoreardendo
Dreamwidth | raptureofthemoon (largely just a backup space)
I'm all over the place and not consistent on any one project (and I’m slow AF when it comes to creating new fic lately).
But here are a few things I’m working on (and a few highlights for flavor).
I’ll try keeping this up to date.
The Bad Batch
My images/edits and gifs: TBB Media
One Shots
The Fall (AO3)
Tech, in that moment. And the moments that come after.
A Hole in the Universe (Tumblr)
S3, Crosshair mourning Tech.
Staring Contest (Tumblr; Crosshair x Jedi!Reader)
Series
Written in the Dust (AO3) [In progress] (A S1 inspired fix it. Echo’s past finds him. Echo x F!Jedi. Maybe...some other TBB x F!Jedi...we go where the wind takes us.)
A Place Called Home (Part 1)
Meaningful moments Echo shares with his new squad as he thinks about his past and finds his place in the present. (Complete)
TBB Headcanony Stuff
Gifset: “Care to introduce your new friends, Caleb?”
Star Wars: The Clone Wars Era
Codywan
A Clone and His Jedi (AO3) [One-shot]
Cody. Obi-Wan. A moment alone, waiting for rescue.
Star Wars Prequel Era
QuiObi
And the Force Will Lead Them (AO3) [Complete; Zine fic]
After Obi-Wan's actions on Naboo, he and Qui-Gon drifted from one another. A rare disease and a mysterious Jedi master draw them back together and lead them to discover the depth of their bond.
QuiObiKin
The Sacrifice (AO3) [Complete]
It's been a year since Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker, fell to the dark side. It's been nine months since the gifts started showing up at the Temple, addressed to Obi-Wan.
Vaderwan
Acquisition (AO3) [In progress, ongoing]
Wherever he went, Vader seemed to follow. And it became much too frequent an occurrence to just be coincidence.
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Hello!! 💕
I have 10 questions for you:
Q1: Is your request box is still opening for Rottmnt x female reader headcanons and oneshots?
Q2: Do you have request rules for Rottmnt x female reader headcanons and oneshots?
Q3: Can you accept prompts and songfics for request?
Q4: Can you accept yandere moments for Rottmnt x female reader headcanons and oneshots?
Q5: Can you accept suggestive moments like neck kisses, makeouts and hickey for Rottmnt x female reader request? I am sorry for asking an awkward question. 😅
Q6: What are your thoughts on Rottmnt Donnie and Rottmnt Leo?
Q7: What are your favorite Rottmnt characters you admire? Mine is Donnie and Leo!!!! 💕
Q8: What are your least favorite Rottmnt characters you hate?
Q9: Can you accept fanfics with Rottmnt x female reader like fanfics has more chapters than 20 chapters or 10 chapters for story idea request?
Q10: Can you accept crossover fanfics with Rottmnt x female reader for story idea request?
Please answer my questions I appreciate. 😊
Hello! Here are the answers to your questions lovely person, thanks :)
Also: I'm still shadowbanned so if other people can see this, hello ;;;
A1: My request box is open! I am currently working on two requests so getting to them may take a little bit but they are open, sadly my posts are currently not appearing on the tags, Tumblr is still dealing with my ticket on that.
A2: I will be making a rules post and sticking it to my masterlist, I currently don't have one but it is long overdue!
A3: I would love prompts and songfic requests!
A4: I think I could write that as long as it doesn't get TOO dark, however you should all be warned that I have never written a yandere character before so the more detailed you can be the better.
A5: I am totally cool with writing suggestive moments and I would warn about those accordingly so go ahead with those requests 🥰.
If things get more NSFW it might take more for me to be comfortable with it but it can be done 👀 I do like NSFW stuff but I am also demi aro-ace so it's not something I would write too frequently.
REST OF THE ANSWERS UNDER READMORE
A6: Leo and Donnie are both my favorite characters in the show! I love them to bits, to some extent it might be because I relate to them in some ways and I love the idea of them being twins.
A7: As I said I love Donnie and Leo, from their worst to their best there are things of both I can relate to, I like how the characters were written from their issues to their strengths.
Leo for one is a born strategist, and despite looking like the wildest of them all whenever his brothers are rushing to something he is usually the one stopping them or suggesting it might not be a good idea (Like when they decided to fight villains and were choosing hard cases to start with or when they were all trusting of Big Mama immediately), however it's also painful that nobody takes him seriously, they always think he isn't thinking things through before jumping and usually in complicated situations he is the one with a solution. He was created to grow into the role of leader.
Donnie for another is a genius, but his brothers seem so used to the things he can achieve they don't seem to appreciate it as much as they should, because for them it's a constant, Donnie craves the applause, the attention, the approval, specially from a parental aged adult (Donnie and Leo seem to have the most issues with how distant Splinter is, looking for approval or parental figures) he is wilder than the others in some ways, specially when it comes to using his tech (even in situations where it might be lethal) but he also loves his family dearly and is the first to have their back whenever Mikey or Leo seem to be in trouble (After Raph who is always ready to catch them).
Apologies for my rant, I love overanalyzing them 🥺.
A8: My least favorite character...is Splinter :( to be fair I loved the idea of Lou Jitsu, and I know he loves his sons, he just had a difficult...LIFE, and it must have been extremely hard to deal with his depression and all other issues while suddenly raising 4 kids in less than ideal conditions.
But the truth is he IS neglectful and all those difficulties do not make up for it, plus the character during this series seems like a terrible racist stereotype unlike the 2012 Splinter, that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into though.
I don't hate him! I love the moments he has with his children but what I said about him just...bothers me :(
A9: I am currently writing a long Leo x OC and I'm planning a Donnie x OC fic too! The reason they are x OC instead of x reader is because I feel like if the story is long I have to give the reader a more detailed personality, so it feels wrong to call them "reader", but if you like the OC and use Interactivefics you can easily change my OC's name to yours!
I WOULD LOVE IDEAS FOR THOSE LONGER FICS, if you feel like offering anything to them do go ahead, however for a request on a longer separate fanfic it would need to be a detailed request and as long as I'm working on my other longer stories I might only do ones that might get to 3 chapters long or so.
A10: I am Okay with crossover requests! However I will only do them if I know the other piece of media of course (Star wars, My hero academia, DC, Marvel, Disney, Dreamworks, etc)
Thanks for asking, I hope this answered all your questions and I will get to the rules for my requests as soon as I can :)
#chaos shut up#QnA#fic request#Rules#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt fanfiction#rottmnt leo x reader#rottmnt donnie x reader#rottmnt mikey x reader#rottmnt raph x reader
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hi natalia! i hope life has been treating you well and that you're doing amazing.
i wanted to say, i love your account so very much! everytime i go through the f1 tags on here i'm alway searching for your username among the fics and safe to say is you have never ever disappointed me. when i first got into the fandom you were definitely one of the blogs that really hooked me in. oh girl you don't know how ecstatic i was going through your masterlist, i literally felt like i was camping in that one post going through everything in one night. still, even now i love going back and reading it again because that little spark of joy i feel clicking the links to every au is the reason i love to be on tumblr!
you never fail to deliver an insanely good level of world building like this is kind of surreal to me, because you give us such a fresh and wonderfully blissful take on social media au's. it's super cool to see you explore all types of medias like articles, blogs, twitter, instagram, youtube videos—i feel like you've used EVERYTHING girl. all your posts are sooo long and idt people realize how much work you have to put in to make a cohesive story like that?? + using all sorts of outlets ur an actual beast at this wow. and it's not just the way you deliver it, it's also all the ideas that you have. i'm a huge sucker for the deep lore ones that are like the ones involving racing teams and stuff. it's so great to see your takes on real time events and how it could've been if this or that happens. the readers are also of so much variety, i hope you keep doing that bc it adds a lot of potential and spice into the story. royal au is also sooo good! your account to me is basically girlhood personified. i'm always so immersed in it that i forget i'm reading an au... that really shows your effort in the work you put out. i can tell the time you spent crafting these pieces i mean WHO goes this far and wide if not pucksandpower?? ur the backbone of my mental health i would've gone in the trenches if it weren't for you... that's my mother ya'll. there is not one fic of yours that does not have me at the toes of my feet, all giddy to click the "keep reading" button. i wish for you to know that i, and i'm sure many others who follow you, really appreciate all the work you put in! i'm lowkey like suspicious with how real and professional some of the articles you make are bc how is that not something that would come out of an actual blog? 😭
AND OHHHMYGOOOD you are doing god's work for feeding my delusions on giving charles leclerc the team that he deserves. seeing the newey reader fic, that was when i knew you were ON to something like this girl is special she's doing all the research.. babe you could be the new damn chief tech officer if you wanted to i mean. you are operating in levels that we can't even comprehend?? one step ahead in everything. when i read your cl stuff in my heart i'm rooting for this man so bad and like if this isn't happening irl at least pucksandpower got my back like... you know what they say about delusions=manifestations so if we keep this up yall i believe it can be real trust me i've seen it in my head....
i'm sure there's a lot more that i want to say but anyways, i'm really glad that i ever found your blog and i look forward to future works you're gonna put out! cheering for you always and please take care of yourself, xx ❤️
Hi, my love! Thank you so much. I totally teared up reading this and I am not the slightest bit ashamed to admit it. Every single thing I post is crafted with love — I do it because I love working on them and because I love being able to make my fellow fans happy through my work. There truly is no more rewarding feeling. I have posted a whopping 119 fics/imagines/AUs on here and typing that number out really made me realize how crazy that is and how far I have come since I started this blog back in November
I can’t lie, sometimes the research and time I put into each of my works can feel overwhelming at first but I am always proud of the end product and especially happy to share it with you all. Some are lighthearted fun and I can have them completed in a few hours while others run deeper and can take me days upon days to finish. I truly want to build a mini immersive world through each of my AUs and I am so happy that you have been able to get that experience through them
Also I like to say that delusions make the world go round (and help keep us sports fans semi-sane) so I am more than happy to contribute on that end
Thank you again because your words mean so much to me! I can’t wait to share more work with you. Have an amazing day 🫶
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Hi! I just stumbled onto you two while browsing the Sondheim tag, and it's awesome to see other musical writers on tumblr! I have one that is currently being workshopped, which is super exciting (it's also dark academia coincidentally!)
Anyhow, I was wondering, do you have any advice on letting go? I have a cast and director for the workshop, and they are BRILLIANT, but I still struggle sometimes with them taking my work and running with it. Inherently I know their choices are awesome and will make the work greater than I could make it alone, but it's still really hard to put that in others' hands- even though I'm incredibly thankful for their participation and help, it's this weird dichotomy. I'd appreciate any words of wisdom you have to share!!!
Hi!! Great to see and meet other musical writers on tumblr (I love Frankenstien and Dracula, so your show sounds right up my alley!) This is also a really good question- we'll try to do it justice! I'm also going to be talking mostly about Adamandi, because that process is fresher in my mind and was more akin to a professional rehearsal process (with a longer timeline, bigger budget, etc).
Speaking as Mel, the practice of collaborating on the book and lyrics prepared me a little bit for creative compromises in the rehearsal room (I know you said elsewhere you work better on your own, which is very valid- I just know for sure now that I don't). I had already experienced the joy and excitement of seeing Elliot's ideas enhance my own (and, honestly, seen concrete proof of how much better my work got when I let other people into my work as collaborators!) By the time Georgina Escobar became our director for Adamandi, I was prepared to step back a little bit more- and also knew I would have to, because I totally had that personality trait that makes me put inflection indicators on all my lines and grind my teeth when something is staged differently from how I envisioned it. Adamandi was still a learning process for me in that regard, but I think my couple of tips would be:
Respect other people's skills- AND ask for yours to be respected. Especially as a student writer, I've sometimes experienced people (who aren't the director) giving us unsolicited feedback on the writing of the script, which I hated until I realized I sometimes accidentally did the same to my collaborators- I still cringe thinking about giving really picky notes to our sound designer, or asking our lighting designer to change One Singular Light (tech week is an altered state for us all 😔). It's helped me to remember your director, your actors, and your designers all have specific, highly specialized skills in what they do, so make sure you're not telling your director how to direct, your actors how to act, etc. Vice versa, you are the writer because you have skills in storytelling that they don't (or that they are not being asked to bring to this project)- so own that! Defend the story to your last breath, but let your opinions on how that story is specifically delivered go (e.g. you can't say "make that lighting cue blue because I always imagined it as blue," but you can say "The tone of this scene is really somber because xyz character has to realize y- do you have any ideas on how that could be reflected in the lighting?" or "the pink polka-dotted spinning light cue gave me the impression this scene was really upbeat and cheery- could you walk me through why you chose that one?" Bonus points that the latter two can help you realize something about the work- or how the work is perceived- that you didn't know before!) ~Mel
Everyone has incredibly different lived experiences, and trust in the ability of your collaborators to see and add depth to your work that you had no idea was there. Whether this is an actor coming up with a culturally specific backstory for their character or a director noticing a fun parallel between scenes that you didn't originally intend, it's always exciting to see how others are analyzing your work (to which you can go "Oh, yeah, I totally thought of that!" etc., etc.) It's like adding layers to a painting. For example, I (Elliot) am a Chinese-Canadian gay man. Working with collaborators, I gained valuable insight (and revision fodder) through how actors connected to characters' stories through their nonbinary identity, or how our director as a bisexual woman envisioned a tender moment in our sapphic plotline, or how certain configurations of actors could mirror paintings of Catholic saints -- all things I could've never realized, understood, or articulated as well on my own. - Elliot
Trust your director (and ask your director!) to ask you questions. (For example, on the flip side of #2, your team might not share the lived experiences you brought into your writing, so trust in them to ask for your expertise when they need it!) This really depends on the structure of your rehearsal room- Georgina is also a playwright, so her process was super inclusive of us as the writers. She allowed us to be there every rehearsal and would ask us questions when she wanted our input on a staging choice, an acting choice, or a bit of table work- and not ask us questions when she didn't, which is equally important! Often I discovered something new about a scene (or found out that a bit of writing needed to be edited) when she wanted to try something out that I wasn't quite sure about (the spooky underscoring under the pyre scene was all Georgina's idea, for example!) This dynamic was established before we even entered the rehearsal room, when Georgina asked us about the timeline (fast) and about how much input we would have on the final vision of the show (which ended up being lots). I'm also excited to have future collaborations where I get to step back more, but it was the right thing for the project timeline and a workshop process. Deciding early on what our communication would look like, and really trusting that she would ask us when something could compromise the story, made it easier to sit back and watch everyone play around and experiment in the reho room without biting my nails. - Mel
If you have the chance to be in the rehearsal room, put yourself out there as a resource! You created this world, so you're there to share if someone's confused or curious about your artistic intentions. You're also there to get excited about others' ideas and give them Word of God approval! A good collaboration doesn't have to be wholly relinquishing your writing into others' hands. If you feel a little helpless, talk to your director to see if there's a way y'all can be communicating better, or running rehearsals differently, etc. - Elliot
Use your vetos sparingly. Sometimes something just... doesn't work. The scene is playing as romantic instead of predatory. That really cool extra special costume piece is falling off the actor's head every two seconds. The lighting cue that you personally suggested to create a spooky ambience really just makes it hard to see anything. And everyone else seems to love it! As the writer, IF something is in your lane, IF it is significantly impacting the story, IF it's too important to just let slide for this production, AND people will think it was your choice... you are within your rights to put your foot down. But this should only happen as an absolute last resort, and in my opinion you don't get more than 3 a production, so really think about whether that jacket-that's-a-little-more-red-than-blood-orange is worth wasting one. Having a rule for the maximum number of these helps me be more generous and chill out a little if something's not exactly right. -Mel
As a last resort- hit the bricks! This isn't my ideal collaboration structure, and it depends on what your director wants out of you, but if watching someone take apart your script in rehearsal is too stressful, it's been good to remember I can also leave. Sometimes it's hard (but good) to internalize that once your show is up on its feet, you're not strictly necessary anymore- you're vestigial, or mostly there to collect data, like a scientist. Occasionally some of my own experiences that I wrote into Adamandi would get too intense for me to watch in rehearsal(I might talk about that some other time- wild experience), or struggling to figure out a scene hit me with the good old "am I a good writer" fears. Having a co-writer like Elliot who was comfortable taking over in those moments- as well as a director-SM team who understood this about me and would come find me if something was dire- allowed me to step out for a few moments and recover my sense of perspective. It's just theater. For Princes, we weren't in the rehearsal room very much at all, and it still turned out lovely and very close to our vision- with the added bonus of delightful surprises we hadn't written in! In these moments I like to imagine all the old playwrights revolving in their graves like dynamos over all the productions of their work nowadays that cut it down, rewrite it, and abridge it- and consider reinterpretation a compliment. ~Mel
Hope this helps! Break a leg with your workshop!
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