#commit vague arson

[earthworms-worm]

I've finally gotten myself to finish this characters design and give them a name! This is Wyn! (Pronounced Whin, like windchimes but without the dchimes part), a friendly and most definitely not a witch shopkeeper who travels around the world collecting definitely non-magical and not cursed items to sell.

And of course the crows are as follows!

Gertrude - the mischievous one

Copper - the very confused one

Mint - the bestest of bois (secretly the favourite and a great chef)

(The outfits: Left - apron for working at the shop. Middle - regular tunic/every day appearance. Right - travelling cloak with matching hat)

#character art #original art #artists on tumblr #art #medieval themed character #medieval character #vaguely medieval #oc #original character #original character art #oc design #the crows #the crows are evil #the crows will get their own story soon #the three crows #they have committed several counts of arson #they exist to create chaos for Wyn #your honour i love them #witchy vibes #i don't want to tag them as a monster or a creature #but like #they have some stuff going on with them #magic wise and personal wise #as in Wyn has some spooky shit going on but when do any of my characters not? #Wyn uses she/they pronouns #tragic backstory in the works

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Sagau but the reader travels often to other worlds and often brings back with a kids and acolytes are like

Acolytes: your grace who is that kid?

Reader: well the world I visited the kid was treated like the trash by pepole so....I taken the kid and NUCKED the pepole of that world = )

Acolytes:oh........WAIT WHAT!?

something like this and that often happens to point of the reader creates orphanage for "mistreated kids of the multiverse" and like there are characters of other games anime or cartoons who were treated badly becose of bullshit reasons reader didn't like that of the took the one or more kids( sometimes reader takes even 100 kids onec) and nukes the places that were responsible for making those kids live miserable now image the archons reaction the first time that situation happens vs the situation where the archons gose with reader to stop them form radical decision but something happens that passes archons so much that they helps reader

Ooh, interesting...sure, let's give it a try! I'm not gonna mention who the other kids of the other universes and series are in this, so prepared for very vague descriptions of them. Sorry, Anon—I'm having a little bit of writer's block as I'm doing this.

I also hate to inform you but I also deleted your other request :') It's mainly because I don't have any motivation and I'm too lazy to look at my old posts LOL- But still, sorry :')

(Disclaimers: Might be OOC, Mentions of Violence, Kidnapping adopting children from other fandoms, implied other fandoms (though never mentioned) & Mentions of Nukes & Nuking)

You love Teyvat. You really do—but many times, it gets a boring. It feels like there's nothing to do.

But! Luckily, you had a good solution to this. You could travel the other fandoms/universes you like, just to see your favorite characters and enjoy the scenery around you!

So you did. It was pretty okay, all of the trips, honsetly.

Until it wasn't. Just who did these pesky idiots think they were? You were going to show them what they truly are.

Dead Meat! (no pun intended/not copying from Dehya's elemental burst now that I think about it-)

— — —

Your acolytes were surprised that you brought back an unknown child. A child that looks...unlike the Almighty Creator, and certainly not of Teyvat. How strange...

"Your Grace, who is this?" one of the acolytes speak. You look over at them blankly, before beaming with a smile.

"Oh, this little guy here?" You show the child. "I save them from people of another world that kept treating them like trash—so, naturally, I nuked the entire country and left."

Ah, so that's where the child came from....

Hold up a minute, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Nahida

While she certainly likes the fact that you were protecting others, she doesn't exactly like or even want to know what kind of arson you committed on behalf of the child...

Nevertheless, she'll help try to make the new friend welcome to Teyvat, so that everyone is happy!

She was certainly not expecting you to bring more children from other worlds here on Teyvat, to the point you even established the "Mistreated Kids of The Multiverse Centre" (MKOTMC for short), where every single child you kidnapped adopted would go to. Nevertheless, she'll still try to befriend all of them!

"Let's go and get some snacks after we play!" Really nice and welcoming to them all—after all, she's a child herself! Yet, despite this, she can't help but feel a little concerned of your methods of taking in children and even going as far as to destroy worlds for their sake...

Where those other worlds that bad?

Venti

Now, as much as this guy can cover his emotions, he cannot mask the shock he felt when he saw the amount of children at the MKOTMC for the very first time.

I'm starting off at this part because this man was not one of the acolytes that were informed of the Almighty Creator's return. And it ticked him off, he wasn't going to lie.

Nevertheless, he decides to take on the job and be the children's entertainer! He is a bard for a reason, you know~

"Haha, the same song again? Well, if you all insist, let this humble bard begin his song!" Other than Nahida, Venti is literally their favorite babysitter. This guy plays them music with a lyre and it's super good!

He wouldn't really care much about your "adopting" phase you're currently going through, but he is telling you to stop killing every world you despise.

Yes, he's getting flashbacks to Khean'riah because of it. That's why.

Ei

She would definitely be there the moment you "adopted" your first child from a different world. She is absolutely a) horrified of what the child has gone through (you put the effort to going into detail to what they've been put through without the child there, ofc) and b) pretty terrified of the fact that you would explode an entire world just because of it.

of course, she does try to justify your actions in her own head—she doesn't like the idea of putting blame on your image, even if it might be true.

She doesn't exactly know how to deal with children, but she does swear that she will protect them with all her power. She's trained heavily in the martial arts for a reason, and Ei is determined to not let it go to waste.

"Worry not, Your Grace—there will be no danger to the children you adopted so long as I shall stand to protect them." Literally makes it an oath, and you have to take it seriously or you will be shocked at the guard shifts the Electro Archon made.

She and the Puppet Shogun make sure that they manage both Inazuma and the grounds of MKOTMC.

Because you know there will be others that would take the job of guarding the children at the Centre, as well as Ei's guard shifts she established, you promoted her to "Head of Security Shifts" and, boy, she if you thought she was taking it seriously before, she is taking it BEYOND serious.

Really, if someone wanted to kidnap a child from the Centre they are facing the Musou no Hitotachi head on.

Zhongli

Old Grandpa was also there when the first child was brought to Teyvat. This guy makes it his mission to a) try to persuade you to not nuke an entire world just for the child and b) try to entertain the child with folktales of all the seven nations of Teyvat.

When MKOTMC was established, all the children basically knew this man as the Storyteller since he loves to indulge them in past times and old stuff.

Not only that, but most of them are pretty addicted to what he's gotta tell them.

"Ah, you wish to hear another story? Hm...very well. I have just the one." Would gladly indulge them ngl.

Joins the MKOTMC Security Squad once you established thanks to Ei's persistence. Though he tries to minimizes the amount of shifts he takes because he still wants to retire from being a War God and all that.

Also is traumatized of the Khean'riah incident and would also try to talk you out of destroying worlds you despise.

AND WE ARE DONE! BOY, I AM SO TIRED 😭 BUT ITS ALR SINCE THIS IS WHERE MOTIVATION COMES FROM—

Alright, see you all around! :D

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: Not even related to what I wrote but AZHDAHA MY BOY YESSS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

Ahem, anyways, back onto topic. I tried to vaguely mention which fandoms the children are from because, let's be honest, there is way too many fandoms out there and I cannot even begin to imagine how much research I'll have to put in just to list a few for this fanfic. I would've died before I even get to write it lol.

I also mainly decided to focus on how the archons would take care of the children after the initial shock. You know—just for more tea and all that lol. I hope you all liked it :)

Check Out The Ghost Rebel's Blog Description To See if Their Mailbox is Open!

#genshin sagau #yandere sagau #sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau genshin #sagau x reader #genshin cult au #sagau cult au #genshin self aware #self aware genshin #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #platonic genshin impact #sagau ei #sagau nahida #sagau zhongli #sagau venti

[racefortheironthrone]

Was the Comics Code as bad as the Hays Code?

That's a really good question!

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "as bad" - are we talking about the overall impact of the Code on American pop culture or are we talking about the actual content of the Code and what it banned and/or mandated in terms of artistic expression?

I've written a little bit about the Hays Code here, but my main focus was on subtextual judaism in Hollywood generally rather than what the Code was and what its impact on American cinema was.

So what did the Hays Code actually include?

One of the few positive things you can say about it is that the men who devised it were quite clear and forthright about what would and wouldn't be allowed, in comparison to the vagueness and inconsistency of the modern MPAA. So here's the list of what couldn't be shown:

Pointed profanity—by either title or lip—this includes the words God, Lord, Jesus, Christ (unless they be used reverently in connection with proper religious ceremonies), Hell, S.O.B., damn, Gawd, and every other profane and vulgar expression however it may be spelled; (You'll notice that the Code is very much a snapshot of the transition from silent movies to "talkies," with the discussion of how profanity is spelled as well as produced via "lip.")

Any licentious or suggestive nudity—in fact or in silhouette; and any lecherous or licentious notice thereof by other characters in the picture;

The illegal traffic in drugs;

Any inference of sex perversion; (i.e anything having to do with LGBT+ people and culture. For more on the impact of the Hays Code on the LGBT+ community, see the excellent documentary the Celluloid Closet.)

White slavery; (the 1920s version of sex trafficking, but with added racism!)

Miscegenation;

Sex hygiene and venereal diseases;

Scenes of actual childbirth—in fact or in silhouette;

Children's sex organs;

Ridicule of the clergy;

Willful offense to any nation, race or creed; and (this one was really honored in the breach more than the observance when it came to nations, races, and creeds of non-dominant groups in society.)

The following things could be shown, but "special care be exercised in the manner in which the following subjects are treated, to the end that vulgarity and suggestiveness may be eliminated and that good taste may be emphasized:"

The use of the Flag;

International Relations (avoid picturizing in an unfavorable light another country's religion, history, institutions, prominent people and citizenry); (again, depended a lot on what country you're talking about.)

Arson;

The use of firearms;

Theft, robbery, safe-cracking, and dynamiting of trains, mines, buildings, et cetera (having in mind the effect which a too-detailed description of these may have upon the moron); (I guess the idea was that the MPPDA believed very strongly in the idea that media could affect people's behavior through imitation, but the use of the word "moron" gives me eugenics vibes.)

Brutality and possible gruesomeness;

Technique of committing murder by whatever method;

Methods of smuggling;

Third-Degree methods; (i.e, torture)

Actual hangings or electrocutions as legal punishment for crime; Sympathy for criminals; (this was a big one; Hollywood had done very well from gangster films, so a lot of creators had to do some careful threading of the needle to keep the genre alive. One dodge that they came up with was that they would have a duplicate "final reel" in which the gangster would have their inevitable comeuppance, and then remove the final reel when the censors had left the theater. Very popular with white rural teens.) Attitude toward public characters and institutions; (again, Hollywood shifting from being anti- to pro-establishment.)

Sedition;

Apparent cruelty to children and animals;

Branding of people or animals;

The sale of women, or of a woman selling her virtue;

Rape or attempted rape;

First-night scenes; (i.e, wedding nights)

Man and woman in bed together; (hence the eventual TV practice of showing married couples in separate beds in the 50s)

Deliberate seduction of girls;

The institution of marriage;

Surgical operations;

The use of drugs;

Titles or scenes having to do with law enforcement or law-enforcing officers;

Excessive or lustful kissing, particularly when one character or the other is a "heavy".

So in general, we can say that the Hays Code was extremely sex-negative, very concerned about crime and anti-establishment thinking, sexist, racist, and homophobic, and in general afraid of offending anybody.

So what about the Comics Code Authority?

So this is what the Comics Code looked like in 1954:

Crimes shall never be presented in such a way as to create sympathy for the criminal, to promote distrust of the forces of law and justice, or to inspire others with a desire to imitate criminals. If crime is depicted it shall be as a sordid and unpleasant activity.

Policemen, judges, government officials, and respected institutions shall never be presented in such a way as to create disrespect for established authority.

Criminals shall not be presented so as to be rendered glamorous or to occupy a position which creates a desire for emulation. In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds.

Scenes of excessive violence shall be prohibited. Scenes of brutal torture, excessive and unnecessary knife and gunplay, physical agony, the gory and gruesome crime shall be eliminated.

No comic magazine shall use the words "horror" or "terror" in its title.

All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism shall not be permitted.

All lurid, unsavory, gruesome illustrations shall be eliminated. Inclusion of stories dealing with evil shall be used or shall be published only where the intent is to illustrate a moral issue and in no case shall evil be presented alluringly, nor so as to injure the sensibilities of the reader.

Scenes dealing with, or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires and vampirism, ghouls, cannibalism, and werewolfism are prohibited.

Profanity, obscenity, smut, vulgarity, or words or symbols which have acquired undesirable meanings are forbidden.

Nudity in any form is prohibited, as is indecent or undue exposure. Suggestive and salacious illustration or suggestive posture is unacceptable.

Females shall be drawn realistically without exaggeration of any physical qualities.

Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed. Rape scenes, as well as sexual abnormalities, are unacceptable.

Seduction and rape shall never be shown or suggested.

Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.

Nudity with meretricious purpose and salacious postures shall not be permitted in the advertising of any product; clothed figures shall never be presented in such a way as to be offensive or contrary to good taste or morals.[16]

You'll notice the similarities when it comes to the Codes' attitude to sex, sexuality, crime, and symbols of authority - so to answer the first part of your question, I would say the CCA was pretty similar to the Hays Code (in part because Charles F. Murphy, who drew it up, was deeply unoriginal and basically cribbed off the Hays Code throughout).

However, there are also some significant areas of difference that have a lot to do with the unique circumstances of the 1950s moral panic over comics. See, in the 1950s, superhero comics were considered deeply uncool and old hat - they had been huge in the 40s during the war, but by the 50s the biggest genre in comics were horror, crime, and romance comics (with cowboy comics bringing up the rear). To quote myself from another post:

"This gave rise to a moral panic in the 1950s, although more accurately it was part of the larger moral panic over juvenile delinquency. The U.S Senate established a Juvenile Delinquency Subcommittee of the Judiciary Committee in 1953 to investigate the causes of juvenile delinquency and comics became a major target. While Wertham’s book is best known today for its assertions that Batman and Robin were teaching young boys to be gay and Wonder Woman was teaching young girls to be lesbians, the main focus of the Subcommittee [edit mine: and Wertham's academic work] was on horror and crime comics for their depiction of sex, violence, and “subversive” attitudes to law and order."

The CCA made it impossible to publish two of the most popular genres in the industry for a generation (the CCA relaxed its stance on horror stuff a bit in the 70s, which is why Marvel trend-chased werewolves and vampires the moment they could get away with it), which not only scrambled the medium (and potentially created space for the Silver Age of superhero comics to flourish) but drove the former titan EC Comics practically out of business. (Indeed, William Gaines of EC Comics believed that the CCA had been specifically worded to drive him out of business.)

So in some ways, the CCA was worse.

#subtexual judaism #cultural history #film history #hays code #comics #comics meta #comics code authority #cinema

[thebibliosphere]

Excuse the vague posting, but my brain is full of weasels at the moment, and I need to put the thought out into the universe before I commit arson.

But if you're a trad-pub author, and you tell a disabled self-pub author that they could "really make a go of having a legitimate career" if they "just tried harder," you're a dick, and I hope you lose all the backups of your current WIP.

"Legitimate career." Fuck me.

#vent post #delete later #the worst part is #I think they thought they were being kind #'oh you could totally make it in the mainstream' #yeah I could #but I don't *want* that right now #I'm doing my own thing #and it's plenty legit #thanks

[targaryenluvs]

As another girl of color i LOVE you made a fic for other girlies of color do it more please <3

bc if i see one more y/n line about pink nipples, paper white skin and red/blonde hair im going to commit arson

THANK YOU!! the poc representation is lackinggg especially for brown girls i feel so why not write it myself 😙

fr tho like ain’t every girl white af, blue eyes and blonde hair like i am soooo confused?? even being vague with descriptions are better man it’s always so annoying when she’s so basic so i love being able to include wider audiences to reflect and see themselves in a reader!!

#kiraanswers<3 #hunger games x reader #coriolanus snow x reader

[merge-conflict]

the cast of the second most insane consulting job you've ever had:

rosalind: CEO who you once held in vague contempt. despite this you feel compelled to smugly text all your friends when she laughs at one of your jokes. at the company happy hour she vaguely implicates herself in several felonies, kisses your cheek, and forgets about you the instant you pass out of view.

reed: deeply pathetic middle manager whose unwavering loyalty to the people making his life a misery somehow makes you wish he approved of you. always talking about how he's never taken a vacation or called in sick, in a way clearly meant to suggest something about your level of commitment to the job.

alex: the perfect coworker, but after a decade of working together you try to remember if you actually know anything personal about her. never forgets your birthday even though you're certain you've never mentioned it to her.

so mi: screwed you and this whole project but is really sorry about it. watching her work makes you think you're never going to be good at anything. sometimes says things about her employer that make you seriously consider arson.

hansen: last you saw him in college he was picking a fight with a bouncer and winning, now it’s become clear he’s set up some kind of protein powder mlm which is also a cult? his role in the company is unclear but no one ever wants to argue with him in meetings.

hands: VP of…something. polite, congenial, and also facilitated the installation of several local orphan crushing machines. unclear if his offhanded comment about watching your progress with interest is encouragement or a warning.

#this was in my drafts and I don't know exactly where I was going with this #but I stand by these

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Reassembly Required

For: @berry-berry-blu @faeriekit @dykesville @idiot-cheesehead-archenemy ghxstkids @nat-space-obsessed @fan-dot Cake @carelisswriting @redactedgoose @jessaverant

For ghosts organs are optional, bones are optional, skin is optional, limbs are optional, heads are optional. Meaning that: head, shoulders, knees, and toes; all these pieces certainly must go!

Valerie just really hates jigsaw puzzles now.

Okay, Valerie is dealing with some shit right now. Not the normal kind of shit either… well it was still ghost related just not in the way it normally was. Decidedly not. And she’s not entirely sure what to do about that fact alone. Another fact she’s not sure what to do about is the fact that she is currently helping, yes helping, a ghost. Actually helping, not just being battle buddies. Sure it’s Phantom she’s helping and he or it or whatever was… okay… okay-ish. But he’s also why she even does everything.

Good-ish behaviour or not Phantom’s still a ghostly menace.

And here she is.

Helping he/it.

She’d question why but well, it would be pretty messed up of her to not help someone/something, anyone/anything, who had somehow survived -if being still dead but not gone counted as surviving- being fucking dismembered (who does that to someone?!?!?!?) and having its/their parts ‘conveniently’ wrapped/stored into a bunch of garbage bags.

She hadn’t even realized it was Phantom in there. But vaguely squirming black bags plus suspicious looking men -who were not in white suits- was a damn good cause for concern, and for theft of said vaguely squirming bags.

On that note, did you know that apparently disconnected ghostly body parts just squirmed and wiggled on their own? And were more gooey messy stuff than solid matter? Yeah no, probably not. She definitely hadn’t and would have like to have kept it that way. Instead she had committed vehicular break and enter, with maybe a side of arson, all to wind up finding out that fact when she opened the bag.

She expect kittens, or puppies, or something equally horrible. Horrible but both less horrible and more normal than this. Zone, human babies would have been less startling, much more upsetting though.

You win some you lose some right?

Oh god.

She needs fucking therapy. Especially after this bullshit. Grimacing and having to readjust the repurposed laptop bag strap she’s using to hold down what she thinks is a section of a forearm so she can continue sticking it back on to what she’s absolutely sure is definitely an elbow. She really hates the whole squirming on its own fact.

That… or Phantom is being a dick and is actually conscious and is just messing with her. She’ll end Phantom herself if that’s the case. She doubts it though.

At least she’s got one hand back together, why those whackos decided to remove each segment of finger at each and every joint she will never know. Doesn’t want to know even. Phantom will absolutely tell her though, be he thinks body horror is ‘funny’. Asshole.

Even pretends he ‘forgot’ that that kind of body horror usually kills people to do. With Its stupid, “oh yeah”, line.

Zone why is she doing this for this asshole again? She’s probably going to give herself nightmares, and what’s up with how goddamn gooey everything is? She expected some kind of solid matter, or at least a sturdy internal structure perhaps. But this fucking Jello and jet black semi-solid bone chunks mess might be better, because see, she made a plan -kinda maybe- after she opened up the first bag and was met with a goddamn swear-to-the-zone-and-back toxic green eye staring back at her unseeingly and twitching like people’s eyes do when they’re having chaotic dreams. The fucking whole skull, completely de-skinned because people are CRAZY, and loose teeth really added to the nightmare. All the green made it less nightmarish but oof, she hadn’t been okay with that and still wasn’t. But she has a plan at least.

That plan? Stick all the ‘ends’ together and the ‘bits’ back into or onto whatever they were supposed to be in/on, then all that ecto goo ghosts were apparently actually made of would just, you know, stick back together? Zone she’d seen Phantom just ‘pop’ an arm back on before.

But no. Apparently not. Because now she’s sitting in her room, with a bunch of her-damned and Phantom-damned bags of ghostly body parts attempting to put everything back together with a sewing needle and some thread she scrounged up from her closet. It was a little gross and dusty but surely ghosts can’t get infections from dust, right?

Whatever, Phantom should be thankful she’s doing this for Its sorry ass even if he does get some kind of dust infection.

And fine, maybe, maybe, ghost just being pure ecto, and not having a more proper firm structure like living beings, should have obvious but shes not a damn scientist okay?

“Shit!”, Valarie has to jump up, practically scrambling to catch the now run away hand; abandoning the nearly finished elbow and maybe-half-a-forearm. Having to jump on it to pin it to the ground like a cat after a mouse, “do I have to chase you every time we meet?”, and glares at the hand as she picks it up; it spasms a bit. She hopes that wasn’t some kind of ‘response’. Again, she will end Phantom otherwise.

At least the part she was working on is still secure. Small mercies.

Anyway, where was she? Oh yeah her mild mental crisis about helping Phantom/a ghost that she’s mildly using to distract herself from the fact that’s she sewing together a disturbingly close to human body but like it was made of jello. Phantom could never make things easy on her could it? She’s maybe a little rougher than necessary about ripping open another bag to maybe try and find more arm bits; it’s a serious struggle not to gag. Muttering, “you’re doing the right thing. You’re doing the right thing. You’re doing the right thing”, repeatedly to herself all the while.

Would it be messed up of her to demand a burger after this? Yeah. Probably. But she’s making the spook get her a damn burger anyway because fuck him and his/its unending bullshit.

Besides, what kind of super powerful ghostly maybe-hero gets chopped into bits and tossed into trash bags like something out of a B list gangster film? Her life and his afterlife were in the supernatural genre, zone damnit.

What?

Did Phantom agree to it?

Did It lose a bet with oddly high stakes?

Got caught up in a ghost body part trafficking ring?

Take a nap in a trash compactor that was just missing a lot of teeth?

Grimacing to herself… okay he might actually do something like that, and then finds a genuinely completely intact upper arm. What a blessing.

Ugh.

Well at least all she needs now is the rest of the forearm and she can stick the hand on. Hopefully the arm matches the hand, it might not. Does she really care though? If it still works than no. Phantom can rip Itself apart and slap Itself/himself back together again later, without her involvement, if he’s unimpressed with her workmanship.

She physically sits on the hand, so it can’t escape again, as she gets to work stitching the upper arm onto the elbow. Well she would get to work if the damn elbow would stop flailing and bending rapidly or occasionally liquifying, “would you goddamn stop that, I’m trying to help you here”, sighing as it just seems more erratic and wiggly, “why is this my life. I hate you so much”.

She winds up having to strap the elbow top down with some electrical tape she found in her drawer. It’s old and clearly not going to hold for long so she absolutely speeds through trying to stitch on the upper arm; it’s sloppy as hell and she doesn’t care.

The tape does indeed not hold and she gets smacked in the chin by the exposed upper portion of the arm for all her hard work. Zone she just feels so appreciated right now.

…

Now she’s also struck by the fact that she’s going to have to clean up her room after this, after Phantom is just leaking and flinging Its fucking ectoplasm goddamn everywhere. It’s in her hair, on her hands, covering the floor, there’s arches and splatters across the ceiling, her bedsheets are a hundred percent a lost cause, and now there’s also definitely some on her chin. At least what’s still sluggishly leaking out of the mostly rebuilt arm is just doing it very slowly; so it’s just kind of drooling out of the end and squirming in gooey strings. Rather than getting actually splattered around.

Electing to shove the hand in an old candle jar to stop any potential repeat runaway attempts before going about searching for the rest of the forearm.

It’s not fun. It’s really not fun. Pretty shit actually. Having to go bag by bag -was eight separate bags really necessary?- and push around mounds and globs of disconnected and disjointed ecto-flesh and ecto-organ soup (or maybe just organ-like things, she’s pretty sure ghosts do not have organs of any kind at all) hoping to find the particular bit of ecto-flesh that she’s actually looking for. Since spreading everything topour out on the floor was a bad idea for so many reasons, the hands escape attempt being one. Plus, that tactic didn't work with ikea furniture, it wouldn’t work for people… or ghosts in this case.

…

It was in with the, ugh, head bag. Which was the last one she checked. The one she most wanted it to not be in. Seeing a goddamn SKULL and eyes, unseeing or no, was a couple of notches past more disturbing than she’s honestly all that willing to put up with. Even for the maybe-good maybe-hero that is Phantom.

Frowning at the bit of forearm, “but if this was reversed, he’d do this for me without hesitation”, shaking her head, “ugh. Stupid idiot”.

If he wasn’t a ghost… she probably couldn’t bring herself to hate It at all. That had to be hypocritical of her, right? Plus she definitely wouldn’t piece back together someone she actually hated, Zone, she’d find a water bottle full of old piss and dump it on Vlad’s exposed parts before helping him out; maybe shake the piss filled bags around a little. So maybe she didn’t hate Phantom, he was okay, definitely okay enough to not be left as a collection of Bits & Bites™ mixed in with broth to make Campbells Chunky Soup™.

Scowling at herself and then glaring at the forearm to forearm sticking she’s doing, “Zone damn it Phantom, you’re corrupting me”. Morbid humour can’t be healthy, regardless of Phantom’s love for it. He’d never let her live it down if It knew she had referred to It as a snack food that’s just a bag full of a random collection of other snack foods mixed in with soup. You know. Like how he was currently bags full of a random collection of body parts and liquid ectoplasm.

At least the forearm being actually securely tied down, regardless of the upper arm still flailing and wiggly madly, makes the reattachment go smoothly enough.

Okay. So. The hand…

She chooses to just wrap some of the bedsheet around the hand to keep the fingers from flailing and scratching anything before putting hand stump to forearm stump and getting to work. She is very thankful that all Phantom’s parts are currently doing is random movements and not, like, randomly shooting off ecto-beams or making ecto-ice. She’s not foolish or prideful enough to think she’d actually survive being in an enclosed space with Phantom, with any part of It, randomly sending off attacks in random directions. She’d never realized how much he was holding back when she was young, when she first started, but she sure as shit figured that out after seeing the state he left Vlad’s -ugh- lab in.

It is definitely weird that that makes her feel better about the spook though. It could obliterate her and everyone else yet actively made a point to not hurt anyone intentionally or directly. Still did though, because he was a dumbass and also because she was, admittedly, over aggressive.

Right now though, she thinks it’s his hand and arm that are being ‘over aggressive’. Watching the fully reattached thing smacking itself into the floor with audible thumps. “The downstairs neighbours must hate us”. They did. They complained. A lot. Or they used to, until she bitched to Phantom about it during patrolling down time, after said neighbours had stabbed a broom into their roof to ‘make her quiet down’ so hard it punctured through her floor. Apparently Phantom ‘haunted their asses’ for three days and infected their fish tank with ‘signal signs’, she did not ask for an explanation. You know, that whole thing about gift horses and mouths.

Speaking of mouths, that is the last part Phantom’s getting reattached; for obvious reasons. Zone he could just never shut up; and trying to make him shut up just made the ghost more talkative.

She should do the other arm right? She got one figured out so round two should be assuredly easier… hopefully.

And it actually is. Weird. It’s just in two whole halves, an upper and a lower. Left arm? Maybe? It would make sense because if Phantom was defending Itself -which he damn well should have been- It most likely would have used Its right arm more to do that… meaning more damage would be done to the right arm.

…

If that’s the case she definitely attached the wrong hand. Shaking her head and shrugging, “Oh well. Phantom’s problem”. The only real downside to the more intact chunks is they’ve got a little more power, or energy maybe, to thrash around with. Little less ecto leaking though, an alright trade off really. Plus she still has to deal with another hand, which she is not looking forward to at all. Though wait, if the fixed hand was so turbo fucked then it has to be the right hand, because why would a mangled hand be attached to a less mangled arm?

Snaking her forehead, “I’m a dumbass”, sighing, “I can just check which side has the palm and thumb the right way. Ugh”. Getting up and abandoning the mostly stitched back together arm, which starts bouncing around on the ground gurgling out ectoplasm, to check the hand.

…

It’s the wrong fucking hand. Why is her luck such horseshit? Why is Phantom’s luck such horseshit? Why didn’t she have the brain cell required to actually check before attaching the hand?

Whelp, she ain’t fixing her fuck up now. But maybe she won’t attach the other hand to the obviously wrong arm; Phantom can deal with it.

… Unless she needs to put him back together completely for his sorry ass to wake up. That would be just the cream on top, wouldn’t it. Either way she goes back to finishing the other arms stitch work; which thankfully doesn’t go horribly and doesn’t get her smacked in the chin again. Which fine, might because she was on guard for a repeat offence this time.

Standing up after using her desk leg to sort of pin down the arm, putting her hands on her hips and eyeing the bags, “okay, legs; since I’m making the second hand Phantom’s problem”, grimacing, “and because I am deeply disturbed about what I’m going to have to deal with with the torso, and the head is, frankly, too freaky without shotgunning at least one Redbull™”, frowning more, “and maybe cracking open a Monster™ too, for good measure”. She just mildly hates this entire situation.

…

Scratch that, she aggressively hates this ENTIRE situation. She found feet skin. FEET SKIN. Fucking. Hollowed. Out. Floppy. Feet. Skin.

Who does this shit to someone??????? What the fuck???

Sure. Maybe. Phantom’s ’feet skins’ -Zone fucking Hell why- are more… boot? skins? Its feet outer ectoplasmic shell was just white boots after all, but still DISTURBING. What is she even supposed to do with this? Scowling, “Woe to those men. Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow. Fuck”.

…

Now she has to go garbage bag digging for probably mushy feet innards. Fun. Exactly how she wanted to spend her afternoon. Groaning and looking back into the bag with the… feet skin and hoping it’s at least in the same damn bag.

Glaring down at the actually intact feet innards sludge, “I am currently thankful you are one of the weird ghosts that actually likes to maintain the illusion of bones, holyshit”. The black feet and toe bones ‘appear’ to be holding together the innard ectoplasm of his feet. It’s weird, vaguely solid-ish and needlessly gooey all at once. But regardless she gets up with that nightmare in hand and grimaces at the feet skins, this was gonna suck.

She now has the ‘fun’ task of stuffing wriggling feet ecto-innard goo and ecto-bones inside of pulsating feet/boot ecto-skin, like she’s putting on a seizing persons decidedly gushy and grippy socks. She has to stitch it on some since it’s not just snapping into being attached and, unlike socks, is not made of body hugging elastic.

The feet go in the candle jar immediately.

Wheezing to herself and shaking herself off some, “that might have been the worst thing I’ve ever done”, and shuddering before resuming looking for legs.

…

She doesn’t find legs. Like, at all. No thighs. No hips. No shins. No calves. No knees. Nada. You know what she does find though? A ghost tail. Yup, a full ghost tail. Which makes zero sense. Picking up and making faces at the surprisingly completely limp -though vibrating randomly- noodle-like thing, “how do or did you have both feet and a tail? What the Zone, Phantom?”. Better yet why couldn’t he have just had the tail? So that she wouldn’t have had to go through the crap she just did?!?!?!?!?!?.

… well at least it’s whole and intact. Fuck her life.

This unfortunately means it’s either torso or head time. Neither of which she wants to deal with. Especially not after that bullshit. What if she puts his goddamn face skin back on and the eyes in and everything and he just starts talking to her??? Yeah nope, not dealing with that. Not a chance. Yes if Phantom did do that It might be able to explain shit that she honestly doesn’t actually want explained but morbid curiosity is a thing, or be able to provide some advice on what the heck she’s doing.

Cause frankly?

She doesn’t know if she’s actually doing any of this shit right. Zone she already maybe put on the wrong damn hand!

She refuses to deal with his bantering though. Big ol’ fat no. An even bigger, fatter, ‘No’ if It banters while Its head is still detached from a torso.

So torso reconstruction it is. Meaning organs. Ugh. And considering she knows what bag the head, it’s skin, and the eyes and teeth, are in; she actually can just dump everything else, at this point her floor can go fuck itself. Anything that wiggles or squirms too much goes back in its plastic confines as punishment.

Valerie drops the tail and turns on the rest of the -head free- bags, dumping them in a messy pile unceremoniously. It’s a mess. It’s disgusting. It’s writhing and dripping and squelching. It’s a lot of things. Mostly it’s a mass of maybe-bones, maybe-organs that are maybe whole, and ecto-flesh; ectoplasm leaking and dripping in and out (somehow) of the squishy jello mound.

Her blinking, “… maybe making a fucking flesh mound wasn’t the best way to go about this, dear zone”. Breathing and massaging her temples, “okay. Okay. Let’s see. Uh”, sighing and dropping her hands, “drag out the outer ecto-flesh, hope it’s entirely intact even though I damn well know it ain’t gonna be. If it’s not intact then, fuck, try? to piece it back together like a very disturbing flesh puzzle”.

Not only is the flesh not intact -big surprise there. Not- but it’s also still connected to random bits of innard ectoplasm. Some is still connect to ecto-bone even. Even worse some of the innard ectoplasm and ecto-bone is also connected to other innard bits; making basically strings and webs of semi-solid mangled nightmare mess. She’s has precisely zero chance of figuring out what everything is and where everything goes.

Shoving everything around on the floor and throwing her hands up, “I give up on making sense of any of this”. So here’s the new plan, stitch the skin back together at random with mild attempts to make things straight-ish and aligned-ish; while giving very little fucks about how nice it looks since it will all probably have to be removed and redone.

By Phantom. Not her.

Who knows maybe he has experience stitching Itself back together from head to toe, he gets hurt enough that it’s possible… she pities him sometimes honestly. Like he’s out there doing the whole sorta heroing thing and getting shit kicked beyond shit kicked for it. Sure so was she but she didn’t get de-limbed vaguely regularly, not to mention this whole mess.

Lifting up a very square section of ecto-flesh, watching the stringing connections to what seems like a rib or half a rib, it warbles and makes a groaning noise. Valerie drops it immediately, whisper muttering, “what the fuck, Hell no”, a couple times. She does swallow and keep working on stitching together different pieces though, she’s not letting freaky ghost shit stop her from doing what she’s decided she’s going to do. Being extra freaky or not.

Unfortunately that is not the last time she encounters random moaning… stuff. She drops every single piece that does it and moves onto a different part every time.

And then the apartment door opens, or sounds like it does at least, making her freeze. Okay, alright, two options. Option one: they’re being robbed. Unlikely but possible, very unfortunate for the robber though because she WILL fuck their shit up while actively covered in gore. Option two: her dad’s home. Technically safer but ho boy, not good. He might be… alright more or less with her chosen profession, at this point. But being okay with your daughter kicking ghostly ass and occasionally getting slightly hurt was entirely different than walking in on your daughter reconstructing what’s practically a goo ghost corpse; a ghost corpse of the well-loved, highly respected, and celebrated town hero. Also her room looks like a fucking nightmare, Zone she probably looks like a fucking nightmare.

There’s the sound of keys being hung up, shoes being dropped on the ground before tucked away, the fridge being opened and closed, the coffee machine starting up, and a loud sigh. Yup. It’s her dad. She is so fucked. The vaguely more person-shaped mound seemingly agrees and moans from some part of Itself; the squelching is louder than the moan yet unfortunately less disturbing.

“You home, Sweetie?”.

Valerie swallows, yes or no? He’ll want to check in on her room either way so maybe if she tells him to, ugh, not come in then he’ll listen. Or he’ll make her at least come out and see him so he can see she’s fine. Normally it was just mildly inconvenient but made her feel warm and happy inside, but right now she’s positively covered in ectoplasm and bits of ghost flesh; if she was injured he wouldn’t be able to freaking see it past the ecto.

Which fine, that might have covered her from his worry more than once but Phantom always noticed because apparently blood had a noticeable smell, a thing she chooses not to think about too much.

Ah fuck it, if he comes in that would be worst case scenario here, “I’m home!”.

Apparently the downstairs neighbour has something to say about that, “I KNOW! I HAD TO PUT DOWN A GODDAMN BUCKET TO CATCH ALL THE GODDAMN ECTOPLASM DRIPPING DOWN FROM YOUR GODDAMN FLOOR! SORT YOUR SHIT!”, followed by a, “please don’t get me haunted again!”.

Okay, she can’t help but chuckle nervously at that. Damn it. But… glancing around and right yeah, all she did to fix that ‘hole’ was throw cardboard over it. Cardboard that is fuck soaked in ectoplasm now. Whoops. She’d apologize but that would just make those folks feel more bold to yell up through the floor.

“Valerie…”. Now her dad sounds unimpressed and concerned, more unimpressed than concerned; good.

Her vaguely attempting to squish around the person-ish mound -she thinks she actually managed to get one shoulder looking actually right, go her- so it looks slightly neater and maybe to get it to stop bubbling? and weakly flinging itself around in sections. “I’m fine, dad. I’m just, ugh, patching up Phantom”, muttering, “stupid ass ghost”, under her breath and very specially at the blob. The arm with a hand picks that moment to free itself from the laptop bag strap and spastically bounce wiggle itself into the ceiling with a wet thwack. Valerie glaring, “thanks Phantom, I definitely needed an entire arm and hand print on my goddamn ceiling”.

“Oh? It’s not too bad is it? Do you need help? Him?”, he sounds closer to the door now; she’s seriously praying he does not come in. Let her, and Phantom honestly, have that little ounce of luck.

Hurriedly responding, “no, no, no, no help necessary. But, it is bad, dad”, wincing, “I think he’ll be fine since he hasn’t started fading or anything”, muttering quietly to herself, “I have no clue how though”. Because really? How was this in any shape, way, or form, survivable to any degree? “You don’t have a protective suit or anything so you definitely should not come in”. Please let him listen to her, please let him listen to her, please let him-

“If you’re sure, I don’t like the sounds of that though and you know it. Once you do have him patched up, I want to see both of you just for my own peace of mind; okay?”.

She knows damn well she can’t get out of this one, but Zone does she wish she could. Plus she doesn’t exactly know how possible that will be for Phantom. Even if she had somehow by some miracle actually managed to put the ghost back together again perfectly, which she clearly didn’t, there’s no way It wouldn’t still be hurt and exhausted and whatever else. He’d probably want to go see that doctor he’s said he/It has; that still baffles her some. Ghosts having fucking doctors. Sighing to herself, “okay. Can’t guarantee Phantom will be super up for a chat though”.

…

“Based on him not making some joke I’m guessing he’s unconscious?”.

Valerie winces, over both the comment and the fully intact arm plus hand practically slapping into the torso flesh mound, “yes?”.

Thankfully her dad sighs, “I’ll be in the living room then. I will check in every hour on the hour though, missy. And I will come in there if I don’t get a response”, and sounds like he’s walking away from the door.

… So looks like future her and future Phantom will have that problem to deal with. After dealing with the current, much more dire and insane, one.

Sighing and frowning, she pries the spasming arm hand out of the torso mound, “stop hitting yourself, you idiot. That’s my job”. She gets the hand arm tied back down onto one of her bed legs, at least the other arm -still sans a hand- was still pinned down by her desk. And the-

Shit.

The feet escaped their candle jar jail, Zone damn it.

Standing up abruptly and looking around, “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Where did you go you stupid bastard”. Getting down on her knees to check under the bed, yup there’s a foot, it’s kicking her wall, flopping over, flailing, and spasming up and down like a goddamn game glitch. “Every single part of you is unnecessarily dramatic, Phantom. Now come here you”. Today was going to give her extremely unique nightmares. Like a mob of mildly sentient feet attacking her from beneath her bed. Hooray for probably eventual insomnia induced creativity.

The foot goes back in the jar, her putting a desk weight on top of it for good measure while she hopefully goes to find the other missing foot.

She spends a good twenty minutes almost ripping her room apart, no foot. Okay so either it A) dissolved, a very bad omen. Or B) it’s successfully hidden itself and Phantom will have to find Its own shit. Or, and this is the really shitty option, C) its escaped the apartment entirely and has begun terrorizing the other tenants or random people on the street with its mere existence; meaning she’ll have to hunt down Phantom’s dismembered foot, which is probably leaving a mild trail of ectoplasm drippings and streaks where ever it is.

As it is she’ll have to deep clean even under her entire bed and the damn wall back there now. Ugh, cleaning everything was going to be a nightmare. Groaning into her hands, “if I get It back together then maybe Phantom can be helpful”, groaning again for good measure before moving back over to the torso mound and blink, titling her head, “I think it’s reconstructed itself? Or rearranged itself?”, well either way it was less horrific to look at. Though watching as some of the stringy connections warble and leak out more ectoplasm from somewhere -how much ectoplasm can one damn ghost have?- before shaping? a bit better; yeah this was still distinctly freaky. Making faces, “are you, er, conscious now? Reforming?”. She gets back the clicks, screeches, warbles, whistles, and static that she knows is ghost speak.

b̶̳͔̝̫̜̖̾̎̿̅͂͒̑͂̕͜ͅà̶͉̠̲̇́̿͑̽͒c̷̘̻̤͍͔̖͍̣̿̔͆̕͠k̶̛̬̤̻̗̄͊̊̔͆͊͑̕ ̸̻̂̃̿̍͗̉̏̕o̶̯̲̙̻̰̳͈̠̣̎f̷̢̰̟̹͝f̶̱̫͌̈́͊͋̇́͝.̷̢̣̥̻̹͚̉̿̈́̊͝ ̴̩̟̙̗̌̈H̷͓̪̳͉̻̄u̶̙̬͈͈̔̾͂̐̃̚̕͠ͅr̸̗̓̚t̸̛͍̱̰̰͍̩̏̈́͆͐͛͛͑͝ͅͅ.̷̫̜̭̤̺̖͍́̌̔̋̅͆̚ͅ ̷͎̟̠̖̲͌̋͛̈́͊̒̊́P̵̪͙̰̲͆̾̿̆a̵͍̙̠̼͕̪̪͑͌̏̿̃́̑i̷̺͈̜̯̩̝̓̆̏̐̊̍͜n̵͕̱̠̗͋̀̇̀͝͝.̶̧̢̱͕̦̀̍̋̆͑̆́͠ ̶̧̓̉̎̂͑͘F̴̧͕̙̥̝̭͚̲̓̽̚͠ḯ̵̜̝̊̈́͐̀̀̈́̾͠x̶͇͇͒̈́̉̿̈́͋̂͌.̵̰̀̉̾̓̈́̌͠ͅ ̶̨̥͖̣̱̕Ṣ̷̡͓̗͓̟͈̊̉̓̕ͅt̷̡̪̔͂̌̍̍̀͊̚̚͜ͅạ̸̹̥͕̮̍̓̋̅̐̃̑̔̌y̴͍̭̘̘͒̾ͅ ̴͔͋͗̋̽̂̍ą̴̨̛͚̹̦̜͉̌̓w̴̘̺͓̥̝̩̘̟̓ấ̸̫͕͕̱́̽͒̿͝y̷̙̻͔͚̽.̴̡̀ ̵̖̥̲̦̿̄̎̓͗̾̍͘͠N̶̤̦̝͗̈̒̊̈͗͂͘͘ȍ̸̢̯̤̻̘̥̩͓̒ ̷̜̝̼̗̾̍͜t̸͇͎̩̏̀̀͋o̴̖̓͒̊͗͑ͅǔ̵̘̾͐̿̔̅̇̐̚ͅc̶̡̜̤̼̖̗̲͉̝͂̾ḥ̷͍͉͓̹̗̦̽̊͜ͅ.̷̗̳̝̘̙̦̦̀̊̀̌̀̀ ̴̰̝̣̙͙̟͕́̓̑̀̎Ḙ̷̡̬̗͓̼͚̜̐̃̍̚ͅw̵̥̬̔̂́̕͘

Valerie blinking, glad she’s gotten used to ghosts enough to not instinctually flinch or cover her ears. Not that she can remotely understand what ever was just said or if the mound even actually said actual words and not just random sounds. Phantom would be the type to just make random sounds purely because It could.

Standing up and eyeing the one untouched bag, ugh, “okay if you’re maybe sorting that mess out I guess I have to deal with the… head now”. Maybe she’ll get lucky and he’ll have at least his eyes or skin back where it should be.

Is she that lucky? Of course not! Why would she be?. Closing the bag again and breathing, “yeah okay. Nope”. Walking off to her desk, throwing a glare at the pinned arm before ripping open a drawer and grabbing a RedBull. Promptly stabbing it with a knife, one that isn’t infused with ectoplasm or nano bots or covered in ectoplasm, and shotgunning it; grabbing a Monster right after and cracking it open.

Moving back over to the bag and sitting down, still glaring, putting the Monster to the side and opening the bag up again. It’s still a nightmare but at least it’s a nightmare she’s dealing with while caffeinated now. Officially grabbing out the fucking soft skull and just staring for a beat; there’s squirming squiggly muscles attached to it which is somehow both better and so much worse. It looks like the thing is covered in a mass of writhing green worms and parasites.

“Valerie?”.

Valerie jumps a little, apparently so distracted by Phantoms Zone damned skull that she didn’t hear her dad approach, “I’m still okay and still doing patching up, dad”, eyeing the singular foot in a jar. Naw, it’s better if she doesn’t tell him to search for a dismembered foot; that’ll worry him even more.

“Alright”. It sounds like he’s walking off again.

Shaking herself and looking back to the skull, hopefully this is the only time she’s going to see someone’s skull to any degree. Tilting it and squinting in through an eye socket, the inside of his skull was glowing blue of all things. Is that good? Bad? Related to how Phantom, of all ghosts, wound up dismembered? Sticking a finger in to poke it, which she was actively trying not to think about, and jerking her hand back with a faint hiss; glancing at the ice on her finger. “Alright. Ow. Not doing that again. Point taken, geez”.

Then immediately scrunching up her entire body in a disturbed cringe as the skull vibrates, mouth clicking open and shrieking loudly at her.

She definitely hears her dad rushing over this time, “you okay?”.

Shaking herself off, “yeah, I just pissed Phantom off a little I guess”, cracking her neck and shaking herself off a little more, “dick”.

And then the fucking skull snaps back at her, opening its toothless jaw wide, holy fucking shit. “h̵̙̓ē̶̼ý̸͔ ̷̙͂f̶͎̋u̴͈͊c̴̘̏k̶͎̈́ ̵̳̀y̴̤͂o̶̖̚ủ̸̼ ̷̞̊t̷͎̚o̷̳̊ȍ̵̭ ̷̫̽t̸̮̍h̷̞͂a̵̢̔t̸̫͂ ̴̻̃h̶͙̓ủ̸̼r̸̖̿t̴̪͆.̵̬́ ̸̧̈́W̸̮͋h̵̲̍ǎ̵͉t̴̡̛ ̶̰̽t̶͙͘h̶̬͝ě̷̥ ̷̗̔Ź̶͍ȏ̸̰n̶̮͒ẽ̵̩?̶̺͐”.

She instinctively flings the skull into the ceiling, it falling to the ground, squishing a little, and rolling a bit before she cautiously picks it back up. That… that was vaguely English, she thinks? she understood that. Her dad’s wince is almost audible, “I hope that’s all it was”, before sounding to go back to the living room again.

Then… the skull speaks up again; or Phantom speaks she supposes, “O̷h̶ ̶g̸e̸e̸z̷ ̶w̷h̴y̷ ̴a̴m̸ ̷I̶ ̴a̸ ̸m̷e̵s̴s̵?̷”.

Closer to English, good for him; this is a nightmare. She is having a goddamn conversation with a disembodied skull. “I am deeply disturbed, Phantom”.

Apparently It doesn’t like that response, “W̶h̷y̵ ̵i̸s̸ ̷m̸y̶ ̵h̷a̸n̴d̸ w̶r̴o̶n̴g̵?̸ W̴h̴e̴r̷e̶ ̴t̷h̸e̸ ̶f̴u̷c̶k̷ ̴I̶S̸ ̶m̷y̵ h̵a̵n̵d̸ a̴c̵t̴u̶a̶l̷l̷y̵?̶ W̴h̸y̷ ̵i̵s̸ ̵n̸o̴t̸h̸i̵n̵g̶ at̸t̵a̸c̷h̶e̶d̷?̸ ̴W̸h̷y̸ ̸i̸s̵ ̵m̴y̸ ̸a̵r̶m̵ ̸b̷e̷i̵n̶g̶ ̵s̴t̸a̸b̷b̷e̵d̴ ̷b̴y̵ ̸a̷ ̶f̷u̸c̸k̷i̷n̴g̷ ̶d̴e̸s̷k̴?̵ ̸B̴y̶ ̸t̸h̴e̵ ̵A̶n̴c̷i̷e̷n̷t̸s̷,̵ ̵V̵a̷l̸?̵”. She just stares for a beat, letting Phantom continue, “w̵h̶y̴ ̵d̵o̸e̷s̷ ̴i̷t̸ ̷f̵e̵e̷l̴ ̶l̶i̶k̷e̷ ̸o̶n̷e̴ ̴o̷f̶ ̶m̴y̶ f̸e̸e̷t̴ i̷s̴ ̸b̵e̸i̶n̸g̶ ̴b̵o̸i̴l̸e̵d̸?̵ ̴W̵h̵y̴ ̶d̴o I̷ h̶a̶v̶e̸ ̸f̵o̵u̴r̷ ̶f̵e̷e̴t̸!̵”.

She hopes by ‘four feet’ he means the ghostly tail that’s still laying limp on the floor. “Excuse you, I’ve spent multiple hours stitching you back together like a nightmarish puzzle. Zone I even rescued your sorry ass from the whack jobs carrying you off in garbage bags”. This conversation should be starting with a thank you as far as she’s concerned; she slapped It back together from something that damn well should have ended the ghost.

While the skull stays silent Valerie pulls out the face skin with as few fingers as possible, she might as well have this conversation with a proper damn face and not a freaking skull. Zone. She feels like she’s being judged as she just kind of tugs the skin down over the skull and prods it to move it where it’s more or less supposed to be.

She’s very glad the skin does actually snap or suck back on this time, as if it had never been off to begin with.

…

Phantom’s mouth opens again, the fact that Its still toothless is not a good look, almost as disturbing as being faceless, when combined with the lack of eyes. “D̷i̷d̴ ̷y̸o̴u̶ ̴j̴u̷s̷t̵ ̵p̴u̸l̶l̷ ̵m̷y̵ ̴s̷k̶i̵n̵ ̵b̵a̵c̸k̵ ̸o̷n̷?̵”.

There’s honestly not much she can say to that, “yup”.

“h̴u̶h̵”.

“Yeah”.

“t̷h̶a̵t̸’̷s̶,̴ ̷u̴h̸,̸ ̸p̷r̸e̸t̴t̶y̷ ̷f̵u̴c̸k̴e̸d̴ u̶p̴ ac̶t̵u̵a̵l̵l̵y̴”.

Valerie rolls her eyes, bleeding sarcasm, “you think?”, leaning over to grab an eye with a grimace, she’s got questions about how the actual fuck it’s actively leaking out ectoplasm. It’s completely covering her fingers and dripping down her arm onto the ground. “You’re getting an eye back too”.

“C̴o̸o̶l̶ ̷b̶e̸a̶n̶s̷”.

Valerie gapes a little at him, what the fuck kind of response is that? Here have back your eye that was removed from its eye socket by probable psychos. Oh that’s neat thanks for the solid, man. Stupid stupid Phantom. She basically rams the eye back in without any degree of precision, “screw you!”.

Phantom makes faces as the eye seems to, ugh, resettle. “f̸i̵r̶s̸t̶ ̵y̶o̴u̵ ̴s̵t̸a̴b̸ ̴m̴y̷ ̵c̶o̸r̷e̵,̴ ̵t̴h̷e̴n̶ ̵y̵o̷u̸ ̵s̵t̴a̸b̵ m̷e̶ w̸i̴t̵h̸ ̴m̸y̴ ̶o̸w̴n̸ ̴e̴y̸e̴!̶”.

“You say that like it’s something that regularly happens to people”.

“D̴o̸e̶s̵n̶’̴t̵ ̸i̶t̸”.

Valerie practically growls at the gaul of It, “no! Things that kill people don’t regularly happen to them, you twat!”. Why did Phantom have to be so damn insufferable sometimes. She grabs Its other eye a bit more aggressively than is necessary. “Do you want your other eye back or not”.

It glares at her with Its one attached eye, “N̴o̵t̴ ̴i̴f̷ ̶y̷o̶u̴’̸r̷e̵ ̵g̸o̸i̷n̴g̷ ̷t̵o̸ as̵s̵a̷u̵l̷t̷ /m̴e̵ ̸w̸i̶t̴h̴ ̴i̸t̷ ̷a̴g̶a̷i̷n̴”.

What kind of person or ghost just says ‘naw I’ll pass on having both eyes’??? She absolutely rams the eye in while Phantom shrieks in annoyance at her. Fuck him and fuck his annoyance too.

They just glare at each other for a while before Valerie huffs, scowling, “why am I still holding you, you suck”. Turning and throwing Phantoms head at the torso mound like she’s trying to slam it down.

It makes a loud squishing noise and indents into the torso mound some. Phantom speaking, muffled, “r̵u̶d̵e̶,̶ ̷b̶u̸t̶ ̶a̷c̸c̵e̴p̷t̵a̴b̵l̸e̵”.

She has no idea what he means by that, until the torso mound fucking squirms and starts globulating and reforming grotesquely like something out of a hard core eldritch body horror flick. There’s strings of almost starry gore scrapping against and snapping on to things, definite organs literally slapping into each other, stomach bile? squelching around black ribs in granules before settling, muscle fibre stretching unendingly and almost crushing in bone and ectoplasm. The ghostly tail slithering across the ground like the snake in the garden of eden itself to reattach to the severed lower section of torso, respawning to Its familiar legs; the normalcy of that particular change is more unsettling than it has any right to be.

She is strongly resisting the urge to vomit, it’s a fucking blessing when It’s suit reforms in perfect condition over the torso and neck. Phantoms back arching backwards in a stretch, head and neck craning back then forward then around with loud cracks. It rolls Its shoulders, with nothing attached to them, before looking over Its shoulder back at her, “I̷ ̴a̵m̴ ̵n̷o̴ ̸l̶o̵n̴g̶e̷r̸ ̷b̸o̶d̸i̸l̴e̶s̵s̴”, tilting Its head, “o̸r̸ ̶n̶o̵ ̶l̶o̶n̷g̶e̴r̸ ̶h̵e̵a̴d̸l̵e̷s̴s̷,̶ ̴d̴e̸p̷e̴n̴d̵i̵n̶g̴ ̸o̸n̸ ̴h̴o̶w̸ ̷y̶o̶u̵ ̵l̸o̵o̴k̸ ̵a̶t̷ ̶i̷t̴”.

She almost squeaks at him, “I didn't want to see that at all”. Scratch out everything she said about all the other horrific horror bullshit she’s seen tonight, that was the most nightmarish thing she’s ever seen and she will be having nightmares tonight, Zone she’ll be having them for the next week.

It levels her with a flat glare, “I̴’̴d̴ ̷s̴a̴y̸ ̶s̵o̵r̷r̸y̸ ̵b̸u̷t̸ ̸y̵o̷u̴ ̷p̷u̸n̷c̵h̶e̷d̴ ̴m̶e̴ ̷w̸i̷t̶h̴ ̴m̴y̴ ̶o̸w̸n̵ ̷e̴y̵e̵,̷ ̵t̸w̷i̷c̴e̷”.

She glares back and wheezes in pure disgust. Phantom nodding its head at the strapped down arm with a hand, clearly expecting her to go get it for the ghost. She is having none of that, “get it your damn self, you utter nightmare fuel”. Their glaring match goes on for a bit before she huffs and gets up, unstrapping the hand arm and giving It over by smacking the ghost over the head with it. Phantom managing to bite onto the wrist and muffle growl at her for hitting It; doesn’t stop glaring though, looking from the arm stump to Its shoulder stump then to her.

…

Is it not just going to reattach like the… torso? Fuck her luck, “do you need me to stitch it back on?”.

It nods happily, almost grinning like a damn puppy.

… Guess she’s doing this again, stupid Phantom for being like this. She huffs but does shuffle over to work on stitching the arm, Phantom holding it up with his mouth all the while; at least now it looks like It’s healing is helping the process along now.

Phantom dropping Its wrist out of Its mouth, “n̸i̸c̶e̴”.

Was that almost a thank you or is she hallucinating?

The ghost raises Its eyebrows at Its hand as it opens and closes, flexing, the wrong goddamn way because it’s on the wrong goddamn arm; before just shoving Its hand into Its head.

…There comes a point where disturbing shit just kind of stops being disturbing, you get to point where it’s just ‘ah okay this shit again. Fantastic’ and at least Phantom shoving Its hands into Itself suddenly wasn’t super new behaviour. It keep that thermos in Its stomach half the time for Zones sake. Phantom pulling a blue orb out of the front of Its face is goddamn new though, her watching as It promptly shoves the orb in Its chest.

Then, because apparently It wasn’t done being a pain, the handless arm and jarred foot go intangible, escaping their confines, and zip over to Phantom to reattach. Followed by Phantom biting off Its hand and sort of maneuvering it onto the left arm, right hard reforming from right arm stump out of thin air; the other foot also reforming from nothing.

Valerie blinks, speaking blandly, “well at least I know why I never found the other hand”. At least that means It did actually damage Its dominate hand more. “And what? Too lazy to go get the run away foot?”.

Phantom rolls Its eyes, “har har, I’m not reattached something that’s been basically boiled to a crisp in what I think is some guys stove top pot. Let the have my ecto blood as a broth additive”. She can only nod in acquiescence. Then It gets that stupid soft gentle ‘I care’ look that pulls at her heartstrings, before outright hugging her.

What?

It pats her back gently, “thanks a lot, really. Thanks so much. I’m fine, I’m whole; it’s okay for you to stop shaking now or for you to throw up if you need to-”.

She was shaking? When? How hadn’t she noticed?

“-I can summon you a shock blanket if you don’t have one. Or a soothing tea maybe?”, mumbling more to himself, “I’m sure Nocturne wouldn’t mind me taking some. They’d probably be happy, since they always say both of use are always too stung out and don’t sleep enough”.

She kinda hates that that would probably actually be a good idea, because all of this was all kinds of fucked up and supremely disturbing in every sense of the word; and the energy drinks were coming back to kick her in the ass. Had she even finished the Monster? Probably not. That was a waste right?

Phantom stops hugging her, leaning back but putting his hands on her shoulders, watching her face and tilting his head curiously, “you better? Better enough at least?”.

She fucking throws up right on his lap. Yeah okay, disturbing stomach churning shit, plus apparent mild possible shock, plus nerves about fixing a horrifically injured battle buddy, plus excessive caffeine, was maybe not the best idea she’s ever had. And Phantom be a gentle asshole rather kills her spite fuelled pride.

Her wheezing and whipping her mouth, while Phantom furrows his eyebrows together and purses his lips, “yeah. Yeah that’s- that’s fair. I definitely deserved that”.

“Fuck you”.

Phantom snorts at that but at least stops holding her shoulders. It leaning back on his hands and staring unseeingly at the wall, “I guess you probably want an explanation for the horror show I dump on you”.

Honestly? No. No she does not. That’s reasonable she thinks. Yet a stupid part of her is filled with that stupid morbid curiosity. Also, yeah, she definitely is shaking and she doesn’t know if that’s shock, adrenaline, or caffeine.

…

There’s also a blanket on her shoulders that definitely wasn’t there before. Stupid Phantom. Stupid stupid Phantom. He puts her through a fucking medical nightmare, then a body horror visual metric ton of nightmare, than has the audacity to be nice and kind and gentle. Zone she hates him… that’s a lie obviously but still…

Her swallowing, “the blue orb?”. That was at least something that won’t be horrifying, hopefully.

He grins and his eye light up, clearly happy to not talk about the shit that happened to him which was probably traumatizing, him turning to look back at her, “ah! yeah I guess you would have no clue what a core looks like, huh?”, shrugging loosely, “I’m sure Maddie and Jack have explained them some. Think heart and brain and lungs and bone marrow and everything”, pointingat his chest then to his head, “I moved my to my head to protect it”.

… All she can really think to say to that is, “well at least you protected yourself for a change”.

“Ouch, cut deep why don’tcha?”, and he grins stupidly, laughing a little.

She’s baffled how It can laugh at all after all this bullshit? She somewhat fixed him but everything she ‘fixed’ was things that were done to him. Scowling without any real feeling, “how are you not freaking out”.

His smile wavers a little but he shrugs anyways, “I’ve been through a lot, Val”.

“Don’t call me that”.

It actually winces, “right, sorry”, rubbing Its neck, “though yeah, getting dismembered by a ghost body part trafficking ring was a new, and very unpleasant, one”.

Zone fuck she was joking when she thought up fucking organ trafficing as a why for all this crap. Glaring, “seriously”.

Phantom smirks, “what can I say? It’s an Ancients be damned weird world. It’s tied to some cultural or religious thing, don’t quote me on that, that thinks wearing or consuming ghostly parts and ‘true ghost ectoplasm’ is healing and empowering. Yeah, it’s fucked up”.

Both of them jump at her dad suddenly interrupting on the other side of the door, “still okay in there?”.

Phantom just looks confused while Valerie shakes herself off some, “yeah dad, Phantom just came back around and is, you know, explaining”.

The man’s relieved sigh is extremely audible, “good. Good. Remember what I said though, you and me and Phantom and tea. Okay?”.

She sighs, “yeah, I know”, and starts pulling off the blanket to fold on her lap. Fuck she’s exhausted and doesn’t want to deal with this, but it’s her dad and she doesn’t want him to fret. Meanwhile Phantom is glancing around and eyeballing the ectoplasmic mess straight out of a slasher flick and wincing; eyeing her up and down and again wincing. She knew she looked a mess alright? No need to be a dick about it. Besides, he looked worse. So much worse, holy fuck.

Her dad humming, “good, will you both be out soon?”.

Phantom clears his throat, “yeah sure, I wouldn’t call myself super presentable quite yet though, so give me a beat, yeah?”.

“Of course! No worries, just sooner rather than later. Please”.

Both of the local town heroes wince at that, giving matching, “okay”’s before her dad walks away again. Her eyeing Phantom as he stands up with a bit of a grunt. Her frowning, “are you good?”.

His laugh is a little bitter and hollow, “I’m one part reformed mangled flesh soup and one part enough stitching to make me a patchwork doll. Not a chance in the entire Zone am I ‘okay’”, him kneeing down by some of the ectoplasmic mess, “but I’ll be okay, eventually. And there’s a gnarly mess to clean up and a worried father to placate”.

She blinks at him, confused, “mess to-?”, and cuts herself off at seeing all the ectoplasm splattered and smeared and coagulated around start pulsing and flowing to and seemingly inside of Phantom. What the actual fuck??? “What the fuck Phantom”.

The ghost shrugs, not looking back to her, “yes I can reabsorb my lost ecto, it’s just really not efficient or worth the effort. I produce and absorb ecto quick enough to replace whatever I’ve lost that it’s redundant to absorb what I’ve lost”.

Valerie shakes her head and forces herself to get up too, “what a technical way to say you’re over powered”. Which results in his cheeks instantly lighting up green, much to her amusement. He’s… actually okay-ish by some fucking stroke of pure luck.

Phantom clears his throat and points at her, making general gestures to her entire body, “well, ah, Amity’s also my lair so that helps”.

She scowls at It, “fuck you, again”, sighing and glancing down at herself, “if you think I’m going down and having tea with my father while covered in your ectoplasm, you’re kidding yourself”. At least he chuckles at that before poking her and seemingly absorbing his ecto. Fucking small mercies she guesses, since she wasn’t sure what to even do about the mess at all. “Some dripped down into Karen and Kevin apartment, they were bitching”.

“Fuck Karen and Kevin”.

She snorts at that which just results in both of them chuckling a little manically. Phantom gesturing to the door, “shall we?”, then shaking his head, “we need therapy”.

Valerie shakes her head to but moves towards the door, “so much therapy”. “Hey I’m supposed to be the issue, stop copying me”; there’s too much genuine sadness in than to make it really passable as a joke. At least the jackass wasn’t floating or anything, that always made him feel a little less inhuman; which was probably the point. That and the ghost was apparently still right shit, as he fucking deserved to be after the crap he just put her through.

Damian smiles and waves at both of them as they enter the living room/kitchen/dining room area (small apartments, am I right?), “so what do you want, I’ve got elderberry, chamomile, lavender berry….”.

As he continues to list on, both smile at him, it’s a little faked and the calm postures are a bit forced, but it’s something. Something tells her that Phantom’s is just a little bit less faked than hers though, which… just makes her pity the ghost more.

End

#danny phantom #phandom #phic phight #phicphight24 #danny #valerie gray #damian #poor danny #gore #blood and gore #dismemberment #stitching #reassembeling a sorta corse #injury #characyer injury #fan fic #phan phic #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #gothmoth

[liamthemailman]

hi jack, it's lovely to meet you <3

did you blow up the local denny's?

be honest.

"What?! No, never, nope! That wasn't me! I would never.. and even if I did- which I did not by the way if I haven't mentioned it- that Denny's probably deserved it!" Jack waves his arms around vaguely as he defends herself. "Ace would have my head if he finds out I ever committed arson again."

They stumble on their own words and Jack eventually folds his arms across his chest. She looks away indignantly. "I mean, how could a Denny's run out of pancakes?! And in the morning?! Burning that Denny's down is totally justified and I'm glad I did- I mean.. I'm glad someone else did it. Because I could never burn a place down. Not me."

Jack rolled their eyes and muttered, "Stupid Denny's."

#no one tell ace #mailman rants #cod oc #call of duty oc #oc: Jack

[niuniente]

Another ask about the recent DHD update got me thinking...

In cases like Joon's recent deal to commit arson, is the fire department allowed to intervene? I imagine some deal-savvy people would specify that he'd have to make sure the building burnt to the ground, thus he'd have to ensure firefighters did NOT intervene. But in a situation where the deal was more vague, like just "set this place on fire," would firefighters be allowed to put out the fire?

I could see a vague deal like that being a grey area where the customer could end up arguing they MEANT "make sure it burns to the ground" but the death head would counter that they only SAID "set it on fire" and the customer would end up angry about it. That makes me wonder if death heads have any rules that require them to clarify details of deals (whether they are literal policies they are required to follow, or unwritten rules of "best practice" that are suggested everyone follows - I could see this also vary between the factions).

If you don't know the answer to these questions, that's totally fine. They're more so just some world building ideas that popped into my head :3

I was thinking this while I was drawing the update. I did a bit more thinking, because my initial thought was "no". But, Death-Heads aren't allowed to get civilians not related to deals involved in deals. In an arson case, the fire department can't put the fire down until its burnt fully, but they need to make sure the fire doesn't spread. However they handle this, I don't know the details yet, but I assume Death-Heads would need to report a fire department that "Hey, heads up, I need your help with controlling the fire on day X at time Y".

There are regulations related to deals so that all deals are fulfilled right (for example, a hitman job needs a hitman job regulation and paperwork). I'd imagine Joon's deal could have been something like "Burn a house in this location down and everyone inside it". It's a valid deal request.

#ask niu #DHD

[whispatchet]

At the beginning of 2023, I made a resolution to make more art that wasn't just D&D assets (lol) At the end of 2023 when I did my art review, a whole 4 of those 12 pieces that I was the weren't D&D assets. Mind you I did still draw a LOT last year and my art has improved quite a bit!

But I think the problem was my goal was too vague.

So this year I have a more specific goal. And it ties in nicely with having a brand new computer that needs brand new desktop wallpapers to go with it :P

So I present to you "SpeedPaint Saturday" on the first Saturday of each month I will have painted and recorded a new painting that isn't for D&D assets (though D&D characters are fair game and frankly, highly, highly likely to feature in at least 90% of them)

So with that said, here is my painting for January 2024:

Featuring my character Haddy, and Kop and Morpha, who both belong to @vwildmonk, committing some arson. As you do.

Here's the video of the speedpaint too:

:D

#speedpaint saturday #whis art #toonkind dnd #Lil Hadrian Winglace Buzzbrain Stagehand #Haddy #Kop #Morpha #They are the Gremlin QPR #Love them so much I do! #Youtube

[arwenkenobi48]

My thoughts after seeing Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama

Rama and Lakshman are the best brothers ever (also Rama literally killed multiple demons with divine weapons as a teenager and that’s honestly more than I accomplished at 15)

Sita has Disney Princess powers

“I will cleave your filthy brain in two!” is not a line I expected to hear from a PG rated movie

Bharata is underrated

Surpanakha needs therapy (and a nose job)

Why is Maricha kinda- 😏

Ravana seriously needs to keep it in his pants (I was mentally shaking his shoulders and yelling “when will you learn that your actions have consequences!?” at him the entire time)

Rama furiously declaring he’ll hunt Ravana to the ends of the universe and then Lakshman just casually telling him to calm down was way funnier than it had any right to be

RIP Jatayu

The sentient mountain turning out to be a demigod literally felt like an NPC side quest in a fantasy RPG

Hanuman is the GOAT

I love how Jambavan just randomly drops the bombshell on Hanuman that he has divine powers, also his voice is weirdly amusing

Hanuman gets swallowed by a sea serpent, then promptly chops the thing up into sushi

Ravana’s giving off vaguely yandere vibes and I’m all here for it

Hanuman introducing himself to Sita with a beautiful song legit warmed my heart so much, he’s so wholesome

Ravana filing his nails while listening to Hanuman’s speech only to be like “kill him” was darkly hilarious

“alright, but set fire to his tail first, then let him go home” Ravana WTH-

Then Hanuman subsequently commits arson and burns down half the city of Lanka (cue the theme from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

I have only known Vibhishana for a minute and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself /j

Bridge building montage woohooo

Why do all the rakshasas sound either animalistic or flamboyant?

Speaking of which, there’s no way Indrajit is straight, no man who wears indigo eyeshadow, a crop top, no trousers and knee high boots isn’t at least a little bit bent

“Oh, what a nuisance! This is bothering me!” Ah yes, just how I’d describe being in the middle of a battle between literal demons and very floofy monkeys

Rama’s speech about respecting life was genuinely one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard

Kumbhakarna is the best boi

Kumbhakarna is the best round sleepy boi in the history of everything

His sons were absolute badasses and their deaths made me sad (not at all helped by his heartbroken expression when he found out)

I love how it literally took being waterboarded to wake up this giant

Vibhishana just casually mentioning to Rama that Kumbhakarna would become immortal after sleeping for SIX WHOLE MONTHS

Literally everything about Kumbhakarna is immensely endearing to me in a way I cannot explain, I just wanna smoosh his cheeks and feed him strawberry mochi, also he so ROUND

Kumbhakarna, don’t eat the Vanaras ffs

Kumbhakarna getting increasingly frustrated by the flying demons buzzing around him like mosquitoes should become a meme/reaction gif, purely because of how he yells “yOu ArE aNnOyInG mE!” at them

*two strikes of a divine sword later* NUUUUU MY BABYYYYY 😭

“I wish I’d known him as a friend, Vibhishana” that’s it, happy AU where everybody lives and they’re all besties let’s gooooo *crying inside*

The way Ravana’s voice quakes when he hears he’s now sans a brother 🥺

Indrajit is horrible but I love him

HANUMAN JUST AIRLIFTED A FUCKING MOUNTAIN HOLY SMOKES-

Omgggg an aerial battle this is so cool- INDRAJIT NOOOOO

RAVANA WHERE DID YOU GET AN AEROPLANE???

Yikes, Ravana, you’re really laying on the body horror here 😳

Awww Rama and Sita are together again yayyyy

Yasssss happy ending we love to see it!

Why are they flying to the moon in a glittering gold helicopter???

Basically, I love this movie and everything about it, especially Kumbhakarna 💞

(Also for the record I mean absolutely no disrespect by any of this)

#Ramayana: the legend of Prince Rama #anime #hindu mythology #Rama #Lakshman #Sita #Hanuman #ravana #vibhishana #kumbhakarna #surpanakha #Indrajit #rakshasa #vanaras #mythology #Ramayana #(btw I have seen this film before it just felt more real now that I’ve seen it in a cinema) #*feeds Kumbhakarna a massive piece of mochi* #gentle giant #yes that’s my kumbhakarna tag now deal with it

[superluigiglitchy]

Meggy: We've been tricked, we've been backstabbed and we've possibly been bamboozled

-

Bob: Is this about me?

Reboot: No.

Bob: Then I've lost interest.

-

Karen: I’m Karen. I’m an accountant.

Bob: I’m Bob. I have a knife.

-

SMG4: *watching their house burn down*

SMG4:

SMG4: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

-

SMG3: Is it still visible? Where Luigi slapped me?

Boopkins: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.

Saiko: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.

SMG4: A palm reader could tell Luigi's future by looking at your face.

Mario: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.

SMG3: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

-

Mario: Do you guys want to see a butter fly?

Luigi: Ooh, yes please!

SMG4, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!

Mario: It's not a bug though...

SMG4: ...

Luigi: ...

SMG4: Well I still don't want to see.

Luigi, realizing: Please don't throw-

Mario: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*

-

SMG3: I want a bf.

Bob: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

-

Tari: I just had a long talk with Bob and SMG3 about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other. :(

-

Mario: Meggy, I screwed up, big time.

Meggy: Mario, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

-

Swag: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Chris: Why?

Swag, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

-

Swag: Two bros!

Swag: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Swag: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

-

SMG4: You played me!

Mr. Puzzles: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

-

Meggy: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.

SMG3: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:

SMG3: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

#smg4 #incorrect quotes

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 21: It'll Be A Cold Day Season 1, Episode 22: The Deadly Flowers

Episode 21: It'll Be A Cold Day

And we open with Lotor evil laughing, great start

Oh, so this is the continuation of the episode where Romelle got kidnapped, she's in a dungeon with other women now Lotor tried to force a kiss on her after he compared her to Allura again, disgustang good for Romelle, she managed to slap him in the face

With the editing it doesn't really look it but Lotor knocked out Romelle and carried her away only for her to return by herself and collapse before she starts crying, something very nonconsensual happened to her,, poor girl

While knocked out she thinks back to when she was captured, Bandor officially became crown prince after their father went insane apparently, pollux is a patriarchy which is good to know for world building The other ladies in the cell are helping her out and making an escape plan, something tells me this is going to go wrong

Oh, shit they did it, similar to how the boys did except they LITERALLY COMMITTED ARSON BEFORE STEALING A SHIP, girlbosses every single one of them

Lotor's already on their tail, somehow his attacks set the ship on fire which you'd think couldn't happen because there's no oxygen in space but ok also they're crash landing on Neeve? I didn't catch the planet name, but Romelle sent out a distress call which obvs the team and Bandor picked up

The team and Bandor meet up, apparently they formed voltron but I think it's so funny that they ended up deactivating formation anyway, what a waste of energy lol

Allura finds one of her mice down her uniform as they're all out scouting in the snow, then proceeds to put them back into her collar, so they can keep warm why do I feel like lance should be saying that he wishes he was that mouse? Maybe it was in golion because he definitely doesn't say it here

Bandor and the team run into the ship but find it empty, then Allura notices a scrap of fabric and almost gets attacked by haggar disguised as romelle after the door closes behind her this is like the second time Haggar's disguised herself as allura's family, does she have beef with them specifically? The mouse saves her though which gives the boys time to get to the princess

Man they make Pidge such an acrobat in this show lol, he flips in the air and PUNTS HAGGARS CAT AWAY AFTER IT STARTS CHASING THE MOUSE SDOVINSDV

obvs haggar escapes but not without bandor, the team chases after her straight into the worst case scenario, being on lower ground Lotor demands Allura to be traded for her cousins, of course nobody trusts that he'd actually follow through

Allura starts heading towards lotor as the pollux siblings head towards the lions, but Keith is the leader for a reason, and he hides his uniform in snow before swapping places with allura so lotor still thinks its her also lotor unleashes a robeast when he gets close enough

Lotor v Keith again, except the siblings come back and want to attack lotor themselves for being a POS Romelle gets knocked out and kidnapped again,,, girl gets no break

Voltron forms, robeast is taken out, and now onto lotor apparently romelle gets set free? It's very vague because they catch lotor and tell him they'll tail him to pollux to make sure, but then they're back on arus? We'll see ig

/episode end

Episode 22: The Deadly Flowers I've seen so many screenshots of this episode onvsdo

Some random seed pods fell from space and sprouted on arus in abundance, immediately that's a sign that things aren't right

The mice pick some for Allura though, and they end up dancing together for a bit, how cute Immediately cut to doom, and we find out the flowers are haggars doing, which are supposed to make anyone who smells them sick

Coran calls an emergency meeting because the flowers are rapid response ig, people are blacking out left and right so Allura wants them treated at the castle by their doctor Dr Gorma The flowers of planet Lyra apparently are medicinal and should help

Lance has literally started a wildfire apparently because Coran told him to burn the flowers that started blooming maybe not the best idea guys

Allura has an idea to get past the magnetic field that surrounds planet Lyra but obvs she smelled the flowers so now she's out cold too just when we were getting somewhere too >:/

Lance ditches the team to go to planet Lyra by himeself in blue hey his suit finally matches lol

"I know, and I've got special equipment! Intelligence, charm, personality, good looks, and a rabbit's foot" *(winks)* -Lance ICONIC

adorable

aaand the bad guys are on planet too, of course, except they think it's allura and go off to try and capture blue

Lance finds this weird divot filled with honey like liquid AND FUCKING TASTES IT, MCCLAIN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS also the natives started attacking, this is why you don't stick your fingers into everything Lance

ooh pretty girly to act as diplomat, apparently the roses are worshiped and not given away so easily so Lance gets grabbed and taken to the king for that permission only for a doom cruiser to pick him to go there, yeah definitely not good

lotor bitch slaps lance for not being allura, luckily for lance he's near something sharp, so he starts cutting his ropes without being noticed Farla is the girls name and she doesn't seem to understand that lance and lotor know each other so she asks to give him flowers which Lotor is glad to hear because voltron is out of commission atm

Lance is loose and starts a sword fight with lotor before his sword gets stuck on the highly magnetic rocks on the wall of this cliff they're on, Lotor shoves him off into the river below where apparently nobody has ever survived falling from obvs that's about to change real soon

Lotor wants the roses for allura himself and the king of lyra tries to extort him but lotor fucking KILLS THE GUY, LIKE STRAIGHT UP THE TEAM WHO EDITED THIS EPISODE STOPS THE SCENE AND FADES IT TO RED FOR CENSORSHIP HOLY CRAP

Lance lived and is back in blue, hooray! Except Lotor's crew is destroying all the flowers except for what they needed, Farla tries to stop them but she got smacked into the water before Blue came out to crush the troops

Falra pulls through and before she faints (dies) she gives Lance a bag of seeds for him to plant on arus, but he promises to plant them on Lyra instead he's such a fucking sweetie i love him omg

As the other boys try to fight the robeast lotor sent out on Arus, Allura stumbles her way to castle control and flies red since lance and blue are still gone man this girl has flown 3/5 lions already, girlboss

lance returns, voltron is formed, robeast destroyed, and lotor runs off, except dad calls and chews him out for destroying the flowers though lotor gets out of it by saying he's brought enough flowers to keep making the meds he apparently needs to stay alive for a long time, call ends and lotor calls zarkon stupid dude i feel like he'd know if his meds were missing/short how was that a good plan

Special reward for a special guy

Pidge tries to get a kiss too but gets smooched by a mouse instead, maybe that's where vld got the idea in the first place sovsdv

Lance still remembers planet Lyra, and he rushes off to plant the rest of the flowers with Allura coming along too

/episode end

#voltron #voltron defender of the universe #voltron dotu #80s voltron #let's rewind! #toast talks #episode 22 was so cute #im glad they wrote lance into such a caring guy

[oppaihun]

Something that vaguely inconveniences my friend

Me: so good news I’m totally cool with commit arson

#arson is always an option

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 2.z

Extra Material:

Holy shit is the end of last chapter an extra material comic? That's so neat. Pale multimedia project indeed.

oh. she calls for her friends.

Man those comics fuck. I read the image description wildbow mentioned, and it said one branch without a ribbon was devoured. The detour?

No idea what Avery can do now.

Fuck. She doesn't even have a prey animal to take her place.

2.z

Will be interesting to see an outside practitioner. I wonder if this is the school Miss mentioned? Name sounds vaguely familiar from dashboard osmosis

Ah. this place does not seem good. Going all in on the hierarchy and hazing

The last incident with the kitchen brownies had been six years ago. Just over two thousand days and nights of breakfasts and dinners provided without a disruption of the arrangement. At this point, the person who crossed the brownies would probably not be allowed to die, as the karmic debt came to roost.

this is a hilariously dangerous way to handle household chores. Just get takeout like a normal person

Major "old boys club" vibes from the Belanger Circle, is Nicollete literally the only woman? Also, these guys suck. And Alexander is setting it so that he looks better by comparison for stepping in when things go to far, instead of setting boundaries in advance.

She was sixteen now.  If she booked enough days that she had a contract renewal after she turned eighteen, the terms and protections would change.  As master, he would be free to marry her off, or to marry her himself.

WHAT THE FUCK. I hate practitioner society!

oh shit. Alexander was the augur who got Charles forsworn. This is not good.

Her eye sockets were empty. There were no eyes left inside. Only points of shards that pricked and cut her shaking fingers as she tried to gauge the damage.

Did not expect Lucy's curse to do that much damage. We're getting a sense of scope now, for how the Kennet Trio is doing magically. I had thought that they seemed to have an easier time with their workings than Blake, but wasn't sure how much that was his karma. It looks like having access to the Others of Kennet to draw on is making them very powerful. And that their animal-mask version of awakening is very unusual.

As long as word doesn't get out about Snowdrop's lying thing, that's a powerful tool. Everyone is so used to people not being able to lie to them, or to using complicated tricks, that just flatly saying the opposite of what you mean trips them up. You can just say that you're trustworthy and then commit arson

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

⭐ for how you came up with the particular plot for SOTF. It's got such juicy and dramatic and far reaching stuff all shoved in there. How did it come to be?

Ahh, thank you for the ask!

So, even before I actually sat down & watched the show, the idea of "what if this pairing George never actually explored &, for all intents & purposes didn't even need to include, had something." So, just, like, little basic ideas (dad/child rivalry, vengeance, I name someone after a Hamlet character--is this Hamlet? No, certainly not! My MCs don't die!--, Vermithor is there, at least one woman is into the idea of arson regardless of if she commits it) were cooking. I even had a big thing in my notes app on my phone where I would just jot down little ideas, & I talked about it with people as more & more stuff started taking shape during my first watch of s1 till I got to: twins & their younger sibling who serve as someone to be more of a "peer" to Rhaenyra & Alicent (because watching the show: they are isolated in terms of their own age group), angst, world shaking daddy issues, & an excuse to explore some really complicated emotional stuff that must certainly come from "Targaryen parent/Non-Targaryen parent." Also, the fact I was watching The Borgias for the first time at the same time as my first HOTD watch probably flavored a lot of stuff. I'm not gonna say SOTF is a true shout out to that show, or that any sibling dynamics are reminiscent of what's going on there (none of my Roycegaryens are fucking each other, for one)...but I will say that, thinking about it now, there is potentially some Juan Borgia in my Daemon Targaryen. I do not apologize for this.

Truthfully, I'm kind of surprised SOTF & my Roycegaryens made it beyond "a fun concept I play with in my head," because historically that's all I do with my OCs. But, conceptualizing story moments & interpersonal relationships just kind of made me, like, "I must share this." So with only slightly less vague notes than were in my phone moved to a google document, a steady diet of tv dramas, & the fuel of my main & expansive asoiaf AU (that I keep half plotting, scrapping, adding onto the lore, half plotting again, scrapping again, before then finally saying "this needs to stop" & just working on finalizing the lore before I do anything else) that I can use as practice I have been word vomiting onto google documents since January. Can I say what the entire plot is? No. Can I say that there are daddy issues & I know parts of where I'm ending? Yes, absolutely. Can I say that Rhea Royce & Daemon Targaryen made kids that grow up to be really, really hot? Yes, because this is an instance of my taste being good. (Ignore my Cullen Rutherford art prints under the bed. You don't see those)

#asks #sotf commentary #fic: sins of the father