#confident and supported about them being part of the LGBTQ+

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not picking my brothers side against our mother?

Some background information:

My brother (let’s call him Collin) is trans (20m) We come from a relatively Catholic (we aren’t religious but the influence is deffo there) conservative country and have been living in the USA for most of our lives. My mother definitely can’t be considered LGBTQ allies, although they are much more understanding than some of the people here, especially in the south— which is impressive considering where we come from. She is TERRIBLE with using the correct pronouns for Collin, so much so that he doesn’t contact her much anymore. I’ve never tried to get him to do otherwise— it’s his choice, and I still respect him. I can understand it. Shortly before he moved away, he’d rant to me about her. I was pretty good with listening and giving advice/support for the first few years, but towards the end of high school (when the school work stress was piling up, along with other external family issues), it started to weigh on me. I wanted (and still want) to be someone Collin can confide in, but I still love my mother. She has made improvements with her close-mindedness, even if they aren’t huge steps. Whenever I try to give reasons for her behavior or just try to get them to get along, he accused me of siding with her. A lot of his perceptions of her seem warped these days, too. Like a while ago he was talking with me via text about one of his friends/coworkers (who is gay). He told me not to mention to our mother that this friend is gay— this friend, by the way, is fully out and married. A few months later I slipped and mentioned it to my mother (she had suggested that this friend probably likes this woman we know and I said “no mom he’s gay!”). And she didn’t really react? She just bluescreened for a moment (the trademark “confused boomer pause”) and went on with the conversation. I’ve had a lot of talks with her about LGBTQ issues, and I’ve actually managed to get her to consider the fact that homophobia may stem from religion (she is a very science>religion kind of person). She wholeheartedly believes that LGBTQ issues should not be politicized. (Not an ally, not an enemy.)

anyway, all this to say that Collin has a very 2D impression of her. Last year I went to pick him up at the airport, and mom called while we were in the car to remind us to stop by [store] and pick something up. When the call ended, Collin snorted and said something like “the bitch couldn’t have just sent a text?”

I told him, a bit snappishly, to shut up. He looked surprised and I felt bad, but I told him that I didn’t want any in part in the conflict and that he should stop bringing me into it.

I was also kind of pissed at him at the time for posting the story of an argument between our mother and I (my period was a month late, she thought I was pregnant*— not even an argument she was just annoyingly suspicious for a week or two) online. He changed names for privacy, but there were people who knew who he was so it wasn’t that hard to figure out who his “sister” was. Since I never gave him permission to share it with anyone, I asked him to take it down. He did eventually. but I guess that could be for another AITA post.

*I have never dated or shown interest in dating anyone.

Overall, I feel that he has the right to argue/have a bad relationship with our mother. But I also have a right to let it affect me without being labeled as a bad or traitorous sister.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[foreverrandomwritings]

happy pride cutie💗💜💙

i was curious if you could write, someone being mean to reader for being bi, saying they’re faking it, them just being biphobic.

and from a character of your choice, have them be all protective, and comforting the reader while they’re upset. i’m a sucker for hurt/comfort 🥴

Summary: The moon boys are amazing boyfriends to their bisexual girlfriend.

Pairings: Steven Grant x afab!Reader Marc Spector x afab!Reader Jake Lockley x afab!Reader

Warnings: harassment, blood, insecurity. Thats it?

Word count: 1397

Masterlist M's PMC Masterlist

~I love me some bi pride. Also really want someone to protect and comfort me. 

~I’m gonna do MoonKnight mostly because I want an excuse to write for all the boys.

~We’ll start with Steven first. I know he’s not very confrontational but I think that after everything happened that completely changed. 

~He’s the one to use words to protect you. Even though he’s shy and pretty reserved anytime someone comes after you he becomes bold and confident. This had been shown on many occasions. 

~You had come in to visit him at work one day. He was on lunch so you guys walked through the exhibits with you asking him occasional questions about them. Which he did gleefully. 

~You had just asked him the name of one of the statutes when you felt a tug in your backpack. You turned around and saw one of your pins in a middle aged woman’s hand. 

~She had a scowl on her face and gave you a disgusted look as she looked over you, head to toe. 

~You squirmed a little under her gaze, quickly growing uncomfortable with the way she was glaring at you.

~ “Can we help you?” Your boyfriend pipped up, looking at the pin he had gifted you clutched inside the woman’s fist. You were glad he spoke up because your voice was gone as you looked at the women.

~ “I don’t think it’s appropriate to show something like this in public. Let alone somewhere that has so many children present.” She spat out. 

~ “Well, I don't think that’s any of your business and I think you need to return the item before I go and get security.” His hand extended towards her expectantly. You knew that Marc and Jake had to have been fighting to front as Steven shook his head glancing at his reflection in a shiny statue momentarily. 

~ “Being a part of that community isn’t something that needs to be displayed.” Her voice had venom in it. 

~ “Don’t worry lady, I'm definitely not interested in you.” You told her, finally finding your voice.

~ “I was not worried about that.” And for some reason she sounded offended at the fact you weren’t attracted to her.

~ “This is your last chance to give her back her pin before I get security.” He said more sternly, his accent thick as his glare darkened. She handed him the pin with a huff before turning around and running away. 

~ “Thank you, Steven.” You told him as he pinned the object back in place. 

~ “It’s alright love. No one deserves to be treated like that. I really don’t understand why people are twisted up by people in the lgbtq+ community.” He was standing in front of you now. Looking at the ground sheepishly. You kissed his cheek in a thank you causing a blush to bloom along his cheeks. Then you both continued on your walk.

~Now for Marc. 

~He is the one that comforts you. Reassures you constantly that you are valid, loved and supported. 

~You had told him of your desire to go to pride. He had reluctantly(not that reluctantly because he was actually super excited to share this experience with you) joined you in your time there. 

~He had even bought you matching shirts. Yours said I’m the bisexual girlfriend. His said I’m here with my bisexual girlfriend. The words were written in the bi pride colors. 

~You were so excited the day of, you showed up to watch the parade that morning with a beaming smile on your face. A large group of people passed you by and you could see a few of them reading your shirts. 

~You had always been a bit shy when around other people in the LGBTQ community. There had been many different instances that they had shamed you in the past. This time wasn’t any different. When one of the women started talking to someone else in the group. 

~ “How can she even say she’s bi when she’s in a relationship with a guy.” She snickered as she passed you. 

~ It didn’t seem Marc had heard, however, to focused on the parade going on in the street in front of you. No one here posed a threat to either of you in his mind so he had let loose a little. 

~ He had however noticed the way your hand slipped out of his. He looked at you quickly and saw you fiddling with the ends of your shirt. 

~ “What’s wrong?” He asked as he scanned the crowd to see if he could spot what happened.

~ “It’s nothing Marc. You can go back to watching the parade.” Your hands wrung together as you spoke. 

~ “Tell me what happened honey. Did someone hurt you?” His eyes scanned your body looking for injuries. Though he didn’t know they could’ve laid a hand on you with him standing right there. 

~ “Just someone invalidating me again. Nothing new.” He knew that you had insecurities surrounding your sexuality. Having been told many times you were faking it, that it didn’t exist or that you weren’t actually bisexual since you were with Marc. 

~He had always done what he could to reassure you that you were validated and that you shouldn’t listen to what everyone said. This time was no different as he brought you into his chest squeezing you to him. Your arms came around his middle as you hugged him back. 

~ “You are such an amazing and wonderful girlfriend babe. Your sexuality is valid. No matter what anyone else says you and I both know you’re bisexual. Steven and Jake know you are bisexual and we love you so much. We are comfortable with you exploring both sides of your sexuality as well. You just have to sit us down and talk about it with us.” He kissed the top of your head as you squeezed him tighter. 

~It was always comforting to be in his arms. He smelled like a combination of the three of them. The three that would love and care and protect you until their last breath. 

~Now onto Jakeeeeeeee. 

~This man will let fists fly with no hesitation. Very very very protective. 

~This one will be more violent than the other ones of course. 

~It was routine for one of the boys to be standing outside of your workplace waiting for you when Jake didn’t have a mission for Konshu. 

~So as you exited the building you weren’t surprised to see a familiar hat placed atop a familiar set of curls. 

~ “How was work today mi amor.” Jake had asked you as he usually did. Taking your hand in his. 

~ “Fine.” Was your simple answer, even though work had been super annoying due to one specific co worker. 

~ “What happened?” He asked you as he scanned your face with his eyes. 

~ “Why do you think something happened?” You asked him surprised.

~ “You normally won’t shut up about your work day. But today was just fine. So what happened?” His demeanor changed as he finished his sentence, now in complete protective mode. 

~ “Chad from accounting was going on again about me being bi. Told me that it was a sin. That I would feel the wrath of hell. Told me I didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. Just the normal gist and what not.” You shrugged simply as though the words didn’t sting you. As if you didn’t feel a deep hole within your chest as though he had stabbed you repeatedly with every word he spoke. 

~ “Where is Chad now?” Jake was seathing as you spoke. The boys were all talking loudly within his head wanting to find the guy and put and end to him. 

~ “He’s probably out back. He takes a shortcut through the alley to get home.” You knew he was going to find him anyway so you figured you’d save him some time. 

~ “Go Home. We’ll be there shortly.” You nodded your head, giving his hand a squeeze. 

~ “Just don’t kill him okay?” You gave him a peck on the lips before you were slipping away. 

~It was almost an hour later that Jake slipped through the doors. Hands and shirt bloodied and you knew his point had been made to Chad. You cleaned him up and thanked him for helping you. 

~ “I will always protect you amor.” Was his response. 

A/N:I love the moon boys with all my heart. Oscar Isaac puts me in a chokehold with every role he plays. Happy Birthday Bestie❤️

Tags(open): @wkndwlff @sylviebell

#moon boys #m's pride month celebration #steven grant x reader #steven grant headcanon #steven grant #marc spector x reader #marc spector headcanon #marc spector #jake lockley x reader #jake lockely headcanon #jake lockley #moonknight headcanon #moonknight x reader #moonknight

[cowgurrrl]

now that i think about it, though, actress!reader and rockstar!joel having their own stars on the walk of fame would be iconic! the stans would be freaking out and ofc their families would be supportive

Hello I spent way too long writing these speeches??

You would both agree that because it’s such a big deal and you’ll probably already be crying all day to not speak at each other’s ceremony. It’s enough that the other and all the people you love and care for are there to support. Joel’s ceremony is a week before yours because you’re in different industries and he’s been in the public eye for longer than you. Which is fine because you’re weirdly nervous for your own ceremony. You’d much rather watch him get his first so you know what to expect.

The day of, you wear a simple, pretty black dress and gather your entire family into the car to get to Hollywood. The kids, all being 12 and above, don’t require as much supervision as they have in the past and are free to greet aunts and uncles they haven’t seen in a while. They quickly disperse in a chorus of, “Uncle Dave!” “Uncle Harry!” “Aunt Patti!” and more. You stay close to Joel before the ceremony actually starts and you’re relegated to the front row and he smiles sweetly as he kisses your cheek.

“Thanks for bein’ here.” He says and you smile and squeeze his bicep.

“Thanks for inviting me.” You say. You mingle through the crowd together, his hand always on your waist, in yours, or ruffling the hair of a passing child or grandchild that looks weirdly like him. When the ceremony begins, you sit in the front and he shoots you a wink from the podium before he starts giving his speech. Of course, he thanks his producers, band mates, managers, and everyone else as he spins the yarn of the young single-dad who showed up in LA with a dream and practically nothing else. Every once in a while, he looks up from his paper to meet your eyes and you nod to encourage him. Sometimes mouthing, “you got it.” He nods back and goes back to his words.

“I wouldn’t be near where I am today if it weren’t for my family. My brother, Tommy, and his wife, Maria, and their daughter, Lucy, never let me forget my roots and keep me grounded as the Texas boy I am. The little girl I showed up with is now a psychologist who’s way smarter than I’ll ever be, and a wonderful wife and mother to two little ones— Isaac and Eleanor. The daughter that isn’t of my blood but is of my soul is now a tattoo-covered drummer with an attitude that impresses even her Aunt Patti, an activist fighting for LGBTQ+ rights all across the world, and an amazing mother to a not-so-little JJ. My first son who’s given us a run for our money from the second he was born spends more time playin’ baseball than the guitar and we love him for it. My twin girls, our final Millers, never miss a beat and not only keep me on my toes but keep me updated on the latest TikTok trend so their old dad doesn’t go out of style just yet,” he says. Sophia and Violet giggle down the line of your family as you sit there and watch him. His eyes meet yours and you catch them misting over and you’re a goner.

“And my incredible wife who’s been patient, understanding, and gentle beyond belief for eighteen years. You are forever and always my inspiration, my rock, my best friend, and my confidant. The only reason I was able to make Grammy-winning albums and go on tour is because you stayed home with our kids for the first two years of their life. I know it wasn’t easy and there were days when we both wondered if we made the right decision. I hope you feel like we did. The sacrifices I’ve made are nothing compared to yours and I will do everything I can to repay you for that. This star— this accomplishment— is as much yours as it is mine. I love you with everything I am and everything I could ever be. Thank you.” His words hit your heart and all at once, all five of your kids are reaching across each other to grab your hand, touch your wrist, your knee, any part of you they can reach. You laugh and kiss each of their hands as you wipe your eyes. He looks at you with raised eyebrows, looking for approval, and you nod.

“I love you,” you mouth.

“I love you, too,” he mouths back.

At your ceremony, a week later, you stand on the same stage he did and look down at your family. The day’s emotions have made you especially teary and seeing all their sweet faces doesn’t do you any favors. “Alright, I’m gonna try to do this without crying,” you say, making everyone laugh. You thank your team and all the people you absolutely need to thank before turning to where you know Carolina, Ryan, Elizabeth, Victoria, and Penny are sitting.

“I met Carolina Garcia and Ryan Long while looking for a roommate for my 1,200 square foot apartment in Hell’s Kitchen. I was twenty and in the middle of my studies at NYU when Carolina responded to my Craig’s List ad. She said she didn’t have any pets, allergies, or baggage with her except for her boyfriend, Ryan. I was skeptical but agreed to meet him and thus began our decades-long friendship. When Carolina booked her first big TV gig, she threw my name in the hat and helped launch my career. Over the years, Carolina, Ryan, and their daughters have become cornerstones in my life. They made me a godmother and costar when they didn’t have to. They’re kind, selfless people and I owe who I am to them,” you say.

“Carolina and Ryan were also present when I met my husband, Joel Miller, and watched me fall in love with him. Carolina drunkenly told me during our wedding reception that she knew Joel was the one when I told her I could not only tolerate, but sleep through, his snoring,” Joel laughs a little too hard at the anecdote from his spot in the front when all five of the Miller children nod in agreement.

“Over our twenty-year relationship and eighteen-year marriage, Joel has given me support, love, and a family. I met his daughters, Sarah and Ellie, when they were 18 and 14, and although I didn’t bring them into this world, they gladly welcomed me into theirs. They were exceptionally patient and sweet as I adjusted to life with them and their father and let me love them as if they were my own. I never thought I could be a mother, but they helped prove me wrong. Quickly, we went from a family of four to a family of seven with the addition of Sam and our twins, Sophia and Violet, but through it all, the three of you made it easy to be a mom. Even then, all of you made me want to be a better mom, a better wife, a better actress, a better person. With the five of you, I felt unstoppable. I share this achievement with all of you as I do my love. Being your wife, mother, friend, godmother, and Nanny has been the greatest ride of my life. I love you. Thank you.”

Your family embraces you the second you’re off the stage and soon social media floods with pictures of Joel lifting you off the ground and spinning you around, kissing you, and holding your hand or waist for the rest of the day. You get sweet comments and congratulations from fans and other people in the industry. People Magazine celebrates the two of you as “The Most Successful Couple in Hollywood” and praises you for your speeches. You could give a thousand speeches and none of them could ever come close to describing what it feels like to watch Joel play with the kids and grandkids and nieces and nephews.

None of them could ever come close to encapsulating how much love you have for him and the life you get to lead together.

#one for the money two for the show #oftm family #oftm #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller #the last of us au #tlou au #joel miller au #joel miller fluff

[sapphic-agent]

I will say confidently that MHA has done this. It has given me a lot of ideas for my own story. It also has a lot of inspo from Avatar: The Last Airbender as well, but it's still it's own thing. I will say, as a treat. Here's a Momo rewrite!

Momo, as said before, grew up with rich parents. I'd also like to believe for this rewrite she has like older siblings. For the reason why Momo feels so inadequate is because her classmates have so much going for them, her siblings are so much smarter and wiser than her, and her parents aren't... around that much. She doesn't feel good enough, and she just wants to show that SHE can be that good enough.

I'd say she'd still have that same fight thing with Shoto and Aizawa, some things tweaked here and there but still the same. As the show goes on, I feel like it would be interesting to show a different side of the field when it comes to how quirk society treats certain people. Momo is up on the ladder. Very wealthy. Her parents have extreme expectations for her, and she has to be perfect. Grades, social life, clothing, etc. She gets compared a lot to Shoto and her siblings, which can be apart of her arc and why it affects her so much. Also a reflection of Japanese society of always having women to be perfect, prim, and even her parents basically forcing her to be like a perfect housewife for her next "husband." But Momo doesn't wanna marry or fall in love with WHO her parents want her to be. Maybe she realizes during school she's a lesbian or bisexual or w/e sexuality. She is not quite as knowledge, but very open to learning. She and Jirou get close, and meets her family. Her family is so kind and supportive, and what a family should be. She feels conflicted. For Shoto parallels, Shoto comes from a well off home, but a not so good family life. Even throw a parallel to Toga who went through the same thing. Ochako also grew up dirt poor, but has loving parents. Momo learns about a loving family IS, and I feel she would try to reconnect with some of her adult siblings, and it goes well. Rocky, but well. Shoto getting the courage to stand up to his own dad. It makes Momo think, Momo's parents in this, aren't as accepting of the LGBTQ+ , but are quiet about their judgements. Momo and Jirou's romance is a slowburn mainly because MHA takes place within one year. But, tbh, in my rewrite of MHA the final battle with Shigaraki is when all of Class 1A are like in their 4th year of school. By then, Momo and Jirou are dating. But if we're sticking to the canon timeline, there's hints of it. But Momo stands up to her parents about this and doesn't take their shit anymore. She's her own person. She's her own hero. I'd also like to imagine Momo also becomes a foil to Toga. Because in this rewrite, they have quite a lot in common, and is also present in the whole Toga V. Ochako show down. She would become a part of the Dekusquad, and be like a 2nd defacto leader. Also, in this rewrite, Midoriya, Iida, Ochako, Tsuyu, and Momo go to Shoto's house, and not just Bakugo and Midoriya. Momo is very confident and becomes a great leader, and hero. Lemme know what you think!

Weird way of proposing, Anon, but I DO.

This is all I've ever wanted for Momo. Substance, drive, ambition, ALL OF IT IS SO PERFECT. And it also feels very true to her character. So many Momo rewrites make her entirely different (seriously, when people make her cold and snobby it really turns me off because a big part of Momo's character is that despite being rich she has a generous and kind heart), this one takes what's good about Momo's canon characters and enhances it. Horikoshi wishes he could write women half as well as you.

Please keep cooking🔥 If you ever make a fic I'll be the first one to read it

#momo yaoyorozu #pro momo yaoyorozu #momo yaoyorozu deserves better #anon ask #mha rewrite #mha critical #bnha critical

[splinnters]

happie pride month please give me all your thoughts on heavymetal shipping. unless they are bad thoughts if that is the case I will not listen

omfg I didn’t recognize the ship name so I searched it and I’m literally shaking its so good I’m- it’s so cute istg okay

heavymetal pride month headcanons!

Cole + Zane are in a romantic relationship, Pixal + Zane are in a romantic relationship, and Cole + Pixal are in a queer platonic relationship

Cole is gay and has known his whole life that he likes guys. his dad wasn’t too supportive to begin with, and he ended up dating a lot before becoming a ninja mostly to spite Lou

Zane is pansexual and non-binary and they intend for Pixal and Cole to be their first and last relationship. they’re the one who asks them both out!

Pixal is a lesbian and transfem, she jokes that she’s exclusively non-men. she’s very protective of Cole and Zane

Zane didn’t know anything about being LGBTQ+ because Dr. Julian had never asked them, however he was supportive when Zane came out :]

Zane was the first to make a move out of the three (surprisingly). they figured out that they loved Cole and Pixal soon after the ninja met Pixal 

as soon as they reached the real dating part, though, Zane lost most of their confidence. for a while they were overly polite with Cole and Pixal because they didn’t want to mess anything up

Cole and Pixal talked in private and then worked together to make sure Zane felt comfortable at all times plus reassuring them that they loved everything Zane did for them. after a month or so, Zane finally settled into the relationship and became a lot more comfortable around Cole and Pixal

Cole and Pixal had an awkward moment when they were trying to figure out what they meant to each other since neither had romantic feelings. for one (1) day they managed to fake feelings, but then they “confessed” to each other for real and decided to stay platonic 

when they cuddle, Cole is usually in the middle since he runs hot. Zane and Pixal both run cold, so with one on either side, their temperatures cancel out and it’s perfect <3

they all enjoy teaching each other as a way to bond. Cole teaches dancing, Zane teaches baking/cooking, and Pixal teaches tech stuff. even if most of the time it turns into just hanging out, they all enjoy it thoroughly 

sometimes they go on little getaways together. most of the time they bring a picnic and do a little hike in the mountains or to the beach. they get to relax together and away from the craziness of the rest of the ninja

they’re all quite laid back from day to day, but when there’s an emergency all of them jump right into action. they work very well as a team with Cole as the brawn, Pixal as the brains, and Zane as their mediator :D

#I actually love them so much T_T #adding this to my top tier ships #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago headcanons #ninjago pride month #cole brookstone #zane julien #pixal borg #heavymetalshipping #heavy metal shipping

[dropintomanga]

To Strip the Flesh - A Powerful Story About Identity

"I don't want to die having given up. I don't want to drown in a puddle. I don't want to die looking like this. I want to die as a man."

I got a chance to finally read Oto Toda's acclaimed short story "To Strip the Flesh" on Transgender Visibility Day and it's a wonderful story not about gender identity, but trying to find your path with the help of compassionate understanding.

The story is about Chiaki Ogawa, an transgender individual born female who identifies themselves as male. Chiaki is currently a Youtuber whose main focus is butchering wild animals that his father hunts and does livestreams of the butchering for a living. Chiaki lives with their father and is happy with his job. However, his dad has colon cancer and wants Chiaki to get married as a normal female would as Chiaki's dead mother wanted it to be their final wish. Chiaki has always felt conflicted about his gender identity after learning about GID (gender identity disorder) during 6th grade. This tension becomes even heavier when a young Chiaki, trying to prove themselves in the wild, almost gets killed by his father in a forest when he was hunting a wild boar. The incident causes Chiaki to stop wanting to be a boy for the sake of his father as the latter blamed himself for his actions.

While I do think family is important and society has ruined the family dynamic, parents are often insecure and sometimes project their insecurities onto their children. We see Chiaki's father stick to gender norms about what a man does and a woman does. When Chiaki wanted to learn how to hunt, his father was adamant that only men hunt and never saw his child as what he wants to be. A parent, especially a single parent, wants to protect their child and not allow them to partake in activities that can cause them harm.

It also does not help that almost all parents do not understand anything to LGBTQ+ issues. And at the same time, a LGBTQ+ child has to be mindful that they may need the support/love of parents despite any discerning attitudes. Chiaki knew too well after his ordeal, but still walked away from his dad to find happiness once he had heard enough about marriage as a bride. And even if the parents do support them, the outside world isn't always kind.

Chiaki thankfully has one friend in the outside world, Takato. Takato helps film Chiaki's livestreams and tries to offer any kind of emotional support to Chiaki. He even takes the time to research GID when Chiaki decides to go to Thailand for gender surgery. Takato is worried about post-surgery side effects like despair and suicidal ideation. After Chiaki comes back from Thailand to begin his full transition to being a man, he recalls an experience back in middle school where Takato was there to help him. Chiaki was distraught over having a period and Takato gave him his pants to wear to avoid embarrassment in public.

The final part of the story is when Chiaki comes back to face his father, post-surgery. Chiaki was worried about see him cry again, but his father said he's not crying because Chiaki got what he wanted - surgery to become the man he always wanted to be. Chiaki's father wondered why he was obsessed with Chiaki being married as the path to happiness. He even goes on to say that children shouldn't focus on satisfying their parents. Chiaki is then granted a hunting rifle by his dad and the story ends with a confident Chiaki, who's become a full-time hunter like his father, in the wild and streamed on YouTube saying that he's in the market for a girlfriend before embarking on his next hunt.

When asked about the theme of To Strip the Flesh, Toda said in their own words "Don't succumb to your parents!" Try to find your own path. While your parents have good intentions at times, their words can often be a curse in disguise. I think about the role of family in the grand scheme of things. Often, family is about being there for your own family members and relatives. However, I sometimes wonder if we're forgetting that while direct family is important, it's also important to have a "family" of friends of sorts. That's what leads to stronger communities.

I feel that parents forget this because they are forced to make "schedules" and do "life hacks" that don't involve making time in getting to know their children. Active listening isn't on the agenda since it's not what modern life demands. It's also very difficult to do.

I also think a lot of mental health problems do come from parents who want their children to be outlets for their problems and/or be totally like them to prevent uncertainty. Adverse childhood experiences can involve family a great deal.

I'm glad that Chiaki has some great support in his father and Takato. Those two made a good amount of effort to try and understand where Chiaki was coming from. You don't have to be perfect, but at least try to be there for someone if they're a priority in your life.

It's okay to strip the flesh of our minds because addressing our own insecurities allows us to come to terms with who we are and what we want to be. I had to do this many times over the years. The flesh figuratively and literally does protect, but sometimes we need to rip it open to see what our hearts are desperately telling us. Deep down, we're all unique human beings that might be considered weird at times and that's okay. We're all trying our best to live our lives and we should be accepted for that. And as Toda's story highlights, I hope that we can realize this together.

#To Strip the Flesh #transgender visibility #manga #Oto Toda #mental health #gender identity #parenting #family #identity #self-discovery

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Jennifer Kabbany

Published: Mar 3, 2023

‘The point they seem to be making was that they should not have the right to say it’

Massachusetts Institute of Technology students behind flyers and chalkings recently found at the school that included slurs against LGBTQ people were protesting the university’s emerging policies in support of free speech.

The incident came in the wake of a two-month-old MIT faculty resolution that defends freedom of speech and expression — even speech some find “offensive or injurious.”

A Feb. 23 memo from MIT administrators stated flyers posted across campus and some chalking outside a school entrance “contained slurs directly targeting the LBGTQ+ community.”

MIT’s bias response team investigated, the memo added, and determined “the messages were put up by students choosing to use extreme speech to call attention to and protest what they see as the implications of” several new pro-free speech policies and efforts at the school.

“The chalking and flyers that carried slurs were put up as part of a much larger set of flyers, expressing a wide range of views, many framed in provocative terms. We have been told that these flyers were intended to probe the boundaries of MIT’s commitment to freedom of expression and to determine how this commitment comports with MIT policies, including those on harassment,” stated the memo, written by Dean for Student Life Suzy Nelson and Institute Community and Equity Officer John Dozier.

Peter Bonilla, executive director of the MIT Free Speech Alliance, said he couldn’t say for sure whether the students who posted the messages are left-leaning progressives, but added “whatever the content of the messages, whatever was being said, the point they seem to be making was that they should not have the right to say it.”

From the little MIT administration has released about the content of the flyers and chalkings, “that kind of protest should be protected under MIT’s policies,” Bonilla told The Fix in a telephone interview Thursday. 

He said meeting the legal threshold of unprotected speech categories like incitement, targeted harassment and unlawful threats probably could not be met with flyers and chalkings, that “it’s hard for a message posted in that kind of medium to meet that threshold on its own.” 

Campus leaders “are working on creating a range of different opportunities to engage and inspire individuals across campus to learn about, practice and model the skills to confidently, constructively, respectfully express ourselves – and listen to each other – across differences,” Allen stated.

Asked for details on the content of the flyers and chalkings, Allen stated the university’s full statement on that matter is encompassed in Nelson’s and Dozier’s memo.

The new pro-free speech policies that have upset MIT students and prompted the false flag campaign include the free speech faculty resolution approved in December as well as a final report of the faculty Ad Hoc Working Group on Free Expression.

In the wake of these developments, Kornbluth — who took the helm of MIT on Jan. 1 — stated in a Feb. 16 announcement plans to review the school’s existing policies on academic freedom and free expression and determine “what changes if any may be necessary to bring them in line with” the faculty’s final report.

She also called for creating “a range of different opportunities to engage and inspire all of us, across our community, to learn about, practice and model the skills to confidently, constructively, respectfully express ourselves – and listen to each other – across differences.”

MIT was engulfed in controversy in 2021 for canceling a guest lecture to be given by University of Chicago geophysicist Dorian Abbot.

A report released in mid-January by the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression also found that “Large portions of MIT faculty and students are afraid to express their views in various academic settings. Faculty and students are at least as afraid of each other as they are of the administration.”

In response to the flyers and chalkings, the MIT Free Speech Alliance stated in a news release that “protesting against the scope of the free speech protections offered by MIT’s new free expression statement is itself protected expression, and students are well within their rights to engage in such protest.”

“…Assuming the speech at issue is protected, disciplinary investigations or charges against students over the content of this expression are unwarranted.”

==

When the demand for hate exceeds the supply.

While it's true there's no reason or need for disciplinary action, that doesn't preclude them recovering the costs of the investigation into a phony incident.

Sixty years ago, students were protesting for free speech. Today, power-mad authoritarian student groups conduct false flag campaigns to abolish it.

#Massachusetts Insittute of Technology #MIT #false flag #hate hoax #hate crime hoax #hoax #Jussie Smollett #academic freedom #freedom of speech #freedom of expression #free speech

[aintgonnatakethis]

hi, this may not be the kind of question you normally, but would you mind talking about your experience being trans in the uk? i'm headed there for uni at the end of the summer, and while in many ways it'll probably be better (i'm coming from a very catholic conservative area in the states), i'm kind of scared.

Sorry this took a few days to answer. Originally I thought there wouldn't be much to put here but then I started writing and wow! I have actually had a life, haven't I? 😂 If you have any other questions I'm happy to answer them for you.

I'm going to put this under a readmore because it got so long, but TL;DR: Find allies in LGBTQ+/queer clubs at your Uni, if your professors deadname/misgender you complain to the Uni, register with multiple NHS GP surgeries to doctor shop for a trans friendly GP, same with NHS dentists, if you're socially transitioned and get lucky with GPs you might be able to get a bridging prescription for hormones (details below), if you're faced with medical transphobia know your rights but discretion is the better part of valour.

So all in all I think I've had things pretty easy. I'm a social recluse so even before covid kicked off I wasn't going out or going to school/working a job. It's only recently (since top surgery) that I've felt confident enough to go out and do things and that's because I now pass all the time.

I don't know where you are in your transition or whether passing is even an option (and I also wouldn't say passing should be the automatic goal for all of us - going stealth is just my personal preference) but if people can take a quick look and "clock" you, it will obviously be more dangerous for you. Though I don't think that differs much from place to place; trans people are always in danger if we're outed.

I would recommend looking for any LGBTQ+/queer clubs your Uni might have. Sometimes those groups are awful and they just bleed chronically-online-made-real-life, but sometimes you'll make friends for life. It's important to get a support network going around you I think, as well as know what rights you have through the Uni when it comes down to professors referring you to with the correct name and pronouns.

Talk to the professors first obviously - the fewer waves you make the better - but if some of them continue to deadname/misgender you, stick to your guns. I know it's a tough sounding piece of advice, but if you let them get away with it once, they'll do it forever. Find out who in the Uni you're able to file complaints with. If you need to, do it. Don't take no shit!

If you're on a student visa and are here for more than six months, congrats! You get to enjoy the sparkling joy /s that is the NHS. Something that differs greatly between the US and the UK is that you can doctor shop super easily over here. I'm presuming that Uni=a town at least, so there should be multiple GP surgeries within your range and 2-7 doctors at each depending on the size of the area they're looking after. You're allowed to register at multiple surgeries without informing them you're doing so (and our medical records aren't on a centralised system so they aren't likely to find out). Do that ASAP and then if you run into a doctor who's anti-trans you can just bounce, no questions asked, either to another doctor at the same surgery (which is what I did) or to another surgery altogether.

On a side note I'd also register with every NHS dentist in the area as well, as waiting lists for simple check ups are 6 months long currently. The only thing with multiple registering you have to worry about is if you have an appointment either turn up or cancel it. If you no show they'll remove you from their list entirely.

If you're already on hormones and are looking to continue taking them here, I'm afraid I have no idea what the transfer system is. I know GPs can write bridging prescriptions (hormones while waiting for the Gender Clinic to get through their waiting list) so if you have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria from a doctor in the US then a GP might be willing to do that.

I was referred and 2 years later my GP (who I love and would die for) was like "well this is ridiculous, you're obviously socially transitioned so I'll supply the testosterone for you." She wrote that bridging prescription for 3 years, gel only (which I've stayed on because I have a needle phobia), and blood tests every 3 months (now every 6). While she was writing the bridge she had to check the blood tests herself, but when the Gender Clinic finally got off their arses they're sent there.

A bridge will be a lower dose (ig micro dosing?) than you'd get properly, but it's better than nothing. If you're looking for that, bring proof that you're socially transitioned and have been for at least two years. If you've changed your name any letters/documents are good. I have 7 years worth of shit saved, just like my grandad used to do with receipts so when it came time to do his taxes he'd have everything together. ❤️️

Obviously the GP in question might want to get to know you a bit first before giving you anything, especially if you're looking for T as that can be used for sports enhancing purposes. But without knowing how long you're going to be here, my wait on the Gender Clinic waiting list was 5 years so I'd guess that's not gonna work for you.

Transphobia I've suffered from the medical industry. Right.

First time was before I moved to where I'm living currently and came out in tears to my then GP. She said "you've obviously thought this through" but then did not refer me to a Gender Clinic, thus breaking the law. Me, not knowing the law at the time, did nothing. Lesson: know your rights.

First time where I understood what was an NHS dentist. It was before I started taking T, obviously before top surgery. I did not pass. He came into the waiting room called Mr. <name> and when I stood up the look of disgust on his face was fucking haunting. That was a tough appointment to get through with him sticking sharp things in my mouth, let me tell you. He also informed me my wisdom teeth weren't fully done coming through yet which was why I was in pain, which turned out to be a lie as when I went to a private dentist (massively stupidly expensive wnr) the following month they told me they were impacted and I'd literally been chewing on myself every time I ate or spoke, hence the pain. I haven't been back to that NHS dentist place since, though I do want to get back on their waiting list now I pass properly. Lesson: get second opinions.

No direct transphobia from the private place, though after I'd voiced financial concerns and then said I ate a lot of chocolate, one tech did say "well, after you've paid for today you won't be able to afford that anymore". Unknown whether she said that because I was trans and she wanted to get a dig in or just because she was a cunt. 🤷‍♂️ I was stoned at the time as I do before all dentist appointments so didn't even work out it was supposed to offend me until later.

For the regular blood tests that are required a nurse at the surgery does it. This particular nurse was always fine and lovely to me before I started T and began to pass as a man, suddenly got very weird and standoffish, calling me 'honey' and 'sweetheart', things you do not call young men here unless you're an old woman. The kicker was when she drew blood and (knowing I have a phobia of needles) said "all done" and made sure to wait until I was looking before pulling it out. A few seconds passed and she said "you okay?" in the most vindictive tone I've ever heard. Sadly for her my panic is internal so she got fuck all. The shift times for each nurse are available on the GP surgery's website. She does afternoons, so now I only go in on mornings. Lesson: when you come out, change your name, start hormones, start passing - at basically every step of the process - there'll be people who'll treat you differently for no reason. If they're friends, sit down and talk it out before deciding what you're going to do. If they're not, avoid them.

GP referred me for a hysterectomy. First place turned me down because I'm trans. Second place put me on their waiting list. GP was pissed off.

I won't go into detail about the problems I've faced from the Gender Clinic or the surgeon as that probably won't be useful to you. If it turns out you'll be working with a GC or getting surgery done over here let me know and I'll add stuff.

Good luck at Uni, friend! 🤜🤛

#i hate the term 'passing' but couldn't think of anything better #trans #transgender #trans stuff #transphobia #transandrophobia #transmisandry #mine #trans advice #anon #about me

[i05wook]

enhypen reaction to you coming out!!

this imagine is honestly something random to support pride month this june!! i contemplated writing something like this for the month so far, but a mix of exams and just anxiety about writing it etc. made it hard to write up until today!! as a closeted lgbtq+ person, i have little no experience in coming out and how people would react so i based it off of how i would want people to react when i come out to them!

i wish for my blog to be a safe space for all, and if anyone needs someone to talk to about anything, even if it’s just for a rant or a little chat my asks are always open!! i hope that those who are in the community and are allies have the best month of celebrations that they can!!

i love you all so much <;3

rue ❤️❤️

lee heeseung - 이희승!

heeseung is so happy for you, and is so proud that you came out to him, knowing that it can a hard thing to do, especially as south korea is a conservative country in regards to lgbtq+ education. he lets you know how proud and happy for you by buying you a flag for your sexuality, showing he’d done his research into the flags and different sexualities. he’s so happy that his best friend found the confidence to come out to him! he’d definitely attend pride parades and celebrations with you, wearing the colours of your flag all throughout the month.

park jongseong - 박중성!

jay somehow already knew you were coming out to him so it wasn’t much of a surprise. he’s so proud that you came out to him but he can’t help but feel infuriated at the fact that society makes you come out if you’re anything but straight! similar to hee, jay will openly show his support for you with wearing your colours of your flag, but unlike hee, he’ll wear a pin or a small flag hanging from his bag. jay is definitely more open minded, and has been more exposed to the lgbtq+ community than a lot of the other members, so it’s not the first time someone has come out to him as part of the community!

sim jaeyun - 심재윤!

jake is extremely supportive of you coming out to him, as similarly to jay, he was exposed to the lgbtq+ community in australia. jake, jokingly will complain about situations in which you both may fancy the same person and that you will always win their attention over him! he will willingly attend pride events and openly discuss lgbtq+ rights, using vlive to promote equality amongst the fans. overall though jake will forever be supportive of you, especially when you felt so confident to come out to him! jake is always donating the money he earns to lgbtq+ charities such as stonewall!!

park sunghoon - 박성훈!

hoon is extremely interested in educating himself about the lgbtq+ community, being from south korea, a highly conservative country, he was never really educated on sexualities etc. he asks you to teach him all about the different specialities, the differences between them, and especially all he can know about your sexuality. he’ll wear the flag every day throughout june in a variety of subtle ways such as his socks, or clothes, sometimes it’s something as subtle as a pin underneath his jacket, but everyday, he’ll send a picture of the way he’s showing his support.

kim sunoo - 김선우!

sunoo knew from the first day he met you, that you were anything but straight because of his gaydar! (tell me sunoo doesn’t have a gaydar!!) sunoo is so supportive of his best friend, he often paints his nails the colours of the lgbtq+ flag or your flag but will take it off before schedules. he helped choose your outfit for the pride parade and even does your hair and make up for it! he’ll come along with you and wear make up as long as he doesn’t have schedules.

yang jungwon - 양정원!

jungwon is so mature with you coming out to him, he’ll be so supportive and so comforting if you get emotional whilst telling him. lots of cuddles from him afterwards, with him telling you just how proud he is of you!! (i love this jungwon so much!!) he’ll let you calm down before asking you any questions he might have about your sexuality. he’ll definitely do his research before the next time you see him and he’ll show off his new found knowledge when he next sees you, mainly having bought you something small, like a room decoration in the colours of your flag!

nishimura riki - 니시무라리키!

riki being so young, and not having much exposure to the community, riki was a bit confused as to why you were coming out (and the sexuality you were coming out as!) after you explain to him that you’re not straight and explain more about your sexuality, he is so happy for you, and can see that it’s a huge weight off your shoulders. riki finds his own little ways to support you and your sexuality, with the boys often telling you how he is exploring the different sexualities and their flags and he makes little notes about them. he often paints little gifts for you, like phone cases or little canvases in the colours of your flag, which you obviously love because 1. it’s handmade by riki and 2. it’s just adorable that he thinks about things you’d enjoy and use!

#🌿. enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen timestamps #enhypen oneshots #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #reader x enhypen #coming out fic! #happy pride month!! #i love you all so much <3 #i hope you enjoy this fic! #i’m so scared to post this fic! #lgbtq+ #lgbtq community #lgbtwriter #lgbtq support #jay x reader #jake x reader #jungwon x reader #niki x reader #heeseung x reader #sunoo x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen fanfiction

[goldendoodlerlockerlove]

Tell us more about Gene and Alexis! Gush to your heart's content!

Pom!! You're too sweet, really, letting me gush like this 🥺. Now that you asked me this, that reminded me that I have the next few panels of my comic done, and should be posting them either tonight or tomorrow! :D

I've already posted a bunch about it, but yes, I took on the feat of making a (sort of) long-form Bob's Burgers comic immediately after I finished my first shorter one. That was definitely inspired by @bluebirbbs and their lovely comic, which everyone should go read if they haven't already because it's fantastic.

I mentioned the comic because it's all about Gene and Alexis. Alexis is my OC who's around Gene's age. They moved to Seymour's Bay and started going to Wagstaff around the time the My Butt Has A Fever short happened and were incredibly nervous about meeting new people and having to adjust to living in a new, seaside town. They're kind of insecure and immediately thought people would find them awkward and not like them. Then, they saw Tina, Gene, and Louise performing that song, and all of their worries melted away. They somehow immediately realized that Gene was the one who wrote the song and was blown away. I headcanon that they couldn't stop gushing about it on the drive home with their parents and even beyond that.

Their parents are quite nice and have done a decent job raising Alexis, but they aren't exactly supportive of people in the LGBTQ+ community, which Alexis is definitely a part of. Alexis figured out around a year or so before the events of the comic that they're Nonbinary (and go by They/He pronouns), and also Androsexual. However, they generally just call themselves Gay because that's easier for people to understand. But, around their parents, they (sort of) pretend to be completely Cishet for fear of judgment or worse. Oh, and they were also born without a right foot (which they have a super realistic prosthetic for) and they have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. They generally only use a crutch for it, and sometimes, not even that. There are a few occasions when they have to use a wheelchair, but they hate using it because they like being more independent. They later confide this all to Gene, who actually thinks it's super cool, which is something they've never had anyone say about their disabilities before. I suppose this sort of parallels my Linda is deaf AU by having a person with a disability's partner be super sweet and supportive.

Anyway, Alexis is so captivated and moved by Gene's performance that they very quickly fall in love with Gene. They freak out for a bit but don't say anything, because they don't know who to ask for advice. Then they decide that the best course of action is to get their feelings for Gene outward anonymously. This poor soul mistakenly thought that by sending sweet anonymous notes to Gene their feelings would somehow disappear. Of course, that doesn't happen.

But, fortunately for them, Gene eventually begins gaining feelings for Alexis too. This is because once they start hanging out and becoming friends, Gene discovers that they have a lot in common, such as loving the same movies, foods, and fashion. Thrifting and making clothes is actually one of Alexis' hobbies, and Gene adores it. He can't get enough of seeing Alexis' clothes that they made themselves. Then they begin talking about how stupid they think masculine gender roles are, and Gene begins confiding in Alexis on how sometimes he wonders if he's being a boy wrong because he usually doesn't enjoy traditionally masculine things.

The two continue bonding and eventually go on a small ice cream date, a la Tina and Jimmy Jr.'s date to Fro-Yo Mama in What A (April) Fool Believes. I didn't realize the parallel at first when I decided this would happen, but now I'm completely obsessed with it.

I'm not sure yet, but it might be on this little ice cream date that these two finally confess their feelings for each other and start dating officially. However, Alexis is kind of terrified of dating Gene, just because of how their parents would react. So, they keep it a secret from their parents. Gene doesn't have to worry, though, because Bob and Linda are nothing except enthusiastic about it.

Surprisingly, Bob is actually super invested in their relationship, and gets kind of emotional, knowing that his little boy is growing up and falling in love 🥲 And is like "Soooooo, who is Alexis? 👀😏" just like when Gene started dating Courtney, and he was like "Soooooo, who is Courtney? 👀😏"

Oh yes, and this entire comic is supposed to take place during Valentine's Day, too, and Tina has a little thing throughout where she's really hoping for a Valentine from Jimmy Jr. I kind of want to resolve that later by having him give her something other than a Valentine, like a goofy little dance, as per Zeke's suggestion, which I thought would be pretty cute and would feed @drawthethingdoppelganger's Tinimmy loving soul accordingly 😌

Louise's thing throughout the comic isn't too deep, but I kind of like it too. She's just angry that Mr. Frond gave the three of them detention for their song at the talent show and wants to lace his coffee to get out of it, pffffft. She isn't thinking that much about Valentine's Day and is convinced that Rudy is just going to ignore her again in favor of Chloe Barbash, so she's kind of given up on the holiday. But then he maybe gives her a sweet note or something 🥺 She pretends not to care, but she really, really does. That gesture means a lot to her.

I actually haven't thought about a Boblin subplot that could happen, because I'm not sure if they'll be too prominent in the comic? But I'm sure they'll be adorable as always for Valentine's Day. I already had them mention that Bob's taking Linda out for a fancy dinner, so I might have them talk about how much fun they had, like the cute lil' ancient married muppets they are.

But I'm getting sidetracked from Gene and Alexis. Anyway, they fall in love with each other and slowly become the most wholesome couple in the universe, second to Bob and Linda. They do all the cliché couple things like hold hands, give each other lil' cheek/forehead kisses, and share milkshakes. Gene definitely becomes one of those stereotypical straight guys who are always like: My wife 🥰 except he's always like: My partner 🥰 and takes every moment possible to gush about Alexis. And vice versa.

@dianadeadwing also made a glorious essay about why she thinks Gene and Peter Pescadero would work so well, and I think all the points she brought up apply to Gene and Alexis--two people who seem really different but have the same values at their core. Gene is loud and energetic just like Linda on the outside, but is really sweet and insecure on the inside, caring so much about the things he's passionate about, like music and his family. He actually gets offended when people try to fight battles for him because he really wants to be seen as more capable, as seen in Drumforgiven.

Alexis seems pretty quiet and unassuming on the outside, because of how awkward and shy they can be at first, especially when moving to a new town, but when one gets to know them, they get really passionate about the things they love too, like fashion and glass blowing (yes, they like glass blowing, which is such a random hobby, but it somehow seems really fitting). They and Gene really bond over their love of obscure movies, fashion, and not being traditionally masculine. And just like Gene, they're insecure on the inside and want to be seen as more capable, not wanting other people to fight battles for them. They also have a secret sarcastic streak a mile wide, and their silver tongue reminds Gene of Louise a ton. They don't exactly have a penchant for getting into trouble, but definitely for getting into mischief on occasion. They also definitely have a secret hopeless romantic side, like Tina, but really try to hide it because they're afraid of being judged for it. Gene doesn't judge them, though, of course.

But really, this moment is what truly started it all for Alexis falling for Gene:

Also, I'm resharing this adorable Commission I got of them from @carnivaldemon because it's actually my everything now:

I could probably go on for even longer, but I'll stop here~

Also, I swear this wasn't intentional, but I realized that Alexis' design looks just like my boyfriend Michael--

#asks #pom you can't keep being so sweet i'm going to get a cavity #i really wanted to give gene a new love interest and alexis just happened #and now they occupy my brain 110% of the time #these two together feel so baby to me i wanna squish their lil' prepubescent cheeks like an annoying grandma #i don't want to give away ALL of the plot details of my comic?? but i kind of relayed a lot just because that's my main source for them #i will be the super annoying captain and steer this ship myself if i have to

[twopoppies]

Do you think Louis will go deep into the closet for the relaunch of his solo career? Part of me thinks he will because they're going to expand his fanbase and if they want to appeal to an Oasis kind of audience, they're not going to accept him as he is. The indie people think they're way above everyone else. Another part of me thinks he won't because if anything he's been growing more confidence and even him having a rainbow in his merch is such a huge deal for him. If Larry do plan on coming out (I think they will) I can't imagine Louis wanting to get rid of fans who are really supportive of them and him being part of the lgbtq+ community, and replace them with fans who might not accept his sexuality and definitely won't accept Harry (they hate popstars). It would just make things harder for them in the future and I get the impression he is thinking about his long term career. Maybe it's a case of him not wanting to replace fans but just branch out to the GP and performing the music he wants to. Also him having his own festival means he has more control. So maybe he won't change.

Hi honey. I don’t see why he’d go “deep into the closet” when relaunching. Unless that’s the reason for resurrecting babygate. I can understand not coming out as he relaunches, but I think being someone who loves all his fans—including his LGBTQ+ fans—isn’t a bad image to have. Even among music snobs.

#louis’ image

[good-jewish-omens]

07/10/2023 Hey please be fucking careful about sharing information about immigration and refugee issues while talking about fleeing the United States or within the country. I cannot tell you how much REAL ASS MISINFORMATION is going around.

Nonprofit groups are popping up everywhere and not all of them can help/are actually qualified to be helping people flee. I personally have had correspondence with a founder of one of those groups who is in their early 20s and has no record of experience in doing something like this - not even mutual aid. I'm not going to say the name of this one because I actually promised I wouldn't. Regardless of what work they're gonna do, I'm not going to get in the way of it. It'll be great if they can work it out.

In times of crisis, these kinds of groups pop up as a panic response. Panic responses make for weak organization. Sometimes they work out, a LOT LOT LOT of the time they don't and people get HURT. Also, OPS ARE REAL. If you have physically been in activist spaces, there's a good chance that you cannot confidently say you can tell an Op from real help.

I know Rainbow Railroad is also becoming a popular option in terms of trying to get support. I have some very loose ties to people involved with them and they have a track record of helping people flee Uganda and other death penalty countries. They have never said that they are able to help people in the United States move from one state to another. Frankly, I don't believe they have the personnel support or funding for that right now. Who knows what they'll be capable of in the future, but don't bank on them if you're looking for help moving from Mississippi to California. One of the BIGGEST pieces of misinformation that I heard JUST YESTERDAY was "Rainbow Railroad will help you move to Canada, I know because a friend of mine did it. It's that simple." NO IT IS NOT. It is NEVER that simple. They are working WITHIN the system, NOT outside of it.

Their relationship with the Canadian government is complicated. The Canadian government is taking a risk simply by accepting LGBTQ+ refugees and that support could weaken at any point. It's also extremely difficult to immigrate to Canada if you're disabled - they keep saying they're going to "fix the discrimination" and that they're "not actually discriminating against disabled people" but that's an absolute lie. And it's disability of any kind - chronic pain, mental health conditions, physical disability, anything you can think of. You have to literally prove that you won't be a burden to the Canadian healthcare system.

I've been working on a zine-esque document about fleeing trans genocide for a few months but the reality is I need collaborative partnership before I make it publically available. I refuse to put something out there that could endanger someone's life. In the meantime, here's a few tips on navigating this if you are planning on running:

Listen to people who have fleeing in their genetic memory and have cultural knowledge around what it means to flee. This means Jews, Rromani people, black Americans who are direct descendants of those held in slavery in the south and have kept that generational knowledge, refugees who have fled their countries to other parts of the world, people whose families were refugees, and people who stayed where they were while others fled.

If you listen and take into account the real trauma that you are about to go through by simply sympathizing with people who this has happened to before or currently, your transition to where you flee is going to be much, much smoother. Listening is a part of taking care of yourself.

Fleeing is going to mean different things for white trans Americans and trans Americans of color. If you're white, you MUST NOT assume that you are having the same experience just because you are trans.

Get extremely comfortable working outside of the system. The chances are you are going to have to steal, barter, trespass, and risk being arrested are going to increase over time.

Do not EVER feel bad for asking for money to get out. You are in survival mode. Fuck the people who criticize you for it.

Take care of yourself as much as you possibly can. Distress is distress, and even through massive change you still have the chance to take a deep breath.

Accept that some people are going to stay. Some of those people will be people that you love. You are not hurting them directly by leaving, and they are not hurting you directly by staying.

Wherever you go, you are going to have to keep fighting. Just because you're not where you were doesn't mean that you can't fight for the people who stayed. You'll find even more people to love in finding the people who advocate for you in the place that you make new roots. And those new people will want to know about where you came from and the people that you're fighting for.

Find the drag queens.

Don't give up.

Be careful where you step.

Follow love.

I'll probably update this post when I'm able to find collaborators for what I'm working on. I'd actually really like it if people circulated this because the dangerous is getting even more dangerous. Stay as safe as you possibly can.

[alarrytale]

For me, all the signs are there with Nick that he's queer but I'm still a bit hesitant because he was quick to point out that he was straight when I think that if he was closeted he could have just not commented on his sexuality or refused to comment on it, and he also follows some women and likes half dressed pics of them but they tend to be fashion and pop girlies, I'm unsure how much weight social media holds when it's so public and if he is closeted he's hardly going to like pics of half dressed men. But having said that, there are more signs for me that he is queer. He looks queer for one thing. His flamboyance and mannerisms. He has a lot of queer friends. His knowledge about lgbtq+ history. Women seem completely comfortable around him and he seems like one of the girls, a bit like Harry. I'm still hesitant because we haven't really seen him around women who are really flirty or whatever and whether or not he responds positively to it. But as of this moment there are more signs for me that he is queer than not. Women don't tend to be that comfortable around straight guys, they're comfortable around queer men because there is much less chance that they'll come onto them. There's also the fact that Nick's current fanbase is mostly queer women and they're always making gay jokes about him, similar to Louis' fanbase. Obviously queer people are great at recognizing other queers. I think they go along with the 'straight' thing because he has said he is straight and there is a real purity culture on twitter where you need to take a celebrity's words for it. So they play off the gay thing as a joke. But I think most are questioning. There's some het Harrie type fans thrown in there too due to PH and tioy. Many gay men seem to think he's one of them, like Sh*wn M*ndes I guess, and sometimes it's wishful thinking but when they pretty much collectively think a guy is gay then I tend to believe them as they recognize their own. So I guess I'm leaning towards queer but not fully convinced yet. I do get the feeling that he holds back a bit, like Louis.

Hi anon,

This is a really good summary. I agree with most your takes and share your views. I'm also still a bit hesitant, cause there is still room for us interpreting things wrong.

I'm going to play the devils advocate here a bit. I haven't really seen him having sexual chemistry with neither men or women? (off screen that is). I'm seeing a very tactile, vulnerable, open and soft man who befriends and clings to both men and women. He looks very comfortable around both (little to no intimacy boundaries), but i'm getting a friends vibe and not attraction. He seems very respectful of women. He didn’t even flinch while resting his head on that female crew members boob. She didn’t either. I still feel a need to observe him more. We haven't seen real signs of flirting, sexual chemisty nor signs of attraction.

There is still a chance he's just very comfortable with his sexuality, and in touch with his feelings and his masc/femme sides (he's spoken openly about this), someone who's an ally and who rejects gender norms. Straight men like that are few and far in between. He's just so open and transparent with who he is, and it's throwing me off lol. He's not acting like someone who's in the closet. He seems too happy, free, genuine and confident. And, from the small parts i've seen so far, i don't see clear signs of lying when he speaks about identifying straight or his past girlfriends. But then again, i'm used to H and L who are really bad liars. Nick is a better actor. I just think he'd hate lying about being straight or having no same sex experience. Some days i'm leaning towards bi/pan. It would make the most sense in theory for me. But that doesn’t totally fit either. If you are right, and he does hold back a bit (or backtracks) then I think we'll see it with time. (He did unfollow that girl account yesterday after fans found out and it supported their 'one of the girls' theory.) It seems to me like he's pulling himself away a bit as he now found mainstream fame. That i recognise from H and L. We might see more signs of closeting in the near future.

Tldr; i'm still undecided. My heart says queer, but my brain says wait and observe more before concluding.

#this got long #sorting my thoughts #long post #nick galitzine

[ihavetoomuchhomeworkforthis]

(TLDR at the bottom)

So far, my gender journey or whatever you call it hasn't really felt normal. There hasn't been any moment of realization, no, "I've always knew" and there wasn't any feeling of everything clicking into place when I found the right word. None of the labels really seem perfect, many of them seem okay. I should maybe start at the beginning.

In kindergarten-1st-2nd I never really wanted to play with the girls at recess. We sort of automatically separated ourselves by gender, and the girls always seemed too, well, "girly," so I often tried to play with the boys instead, even though I didn't get to participate that much. My best friends were two guys and a girl who I somehow deemed less girly than the rest. When I was 5, I asked to get my hair cut really short. It ended up being a bob instead of boyish like I was probably hoping for, and we donated the hair that was cut off.

In 3rd grade we moved, my hair had grown back out, and I started telling everyone I was a boy all the time. When they didn't believe me, I'd mention that one time I saw this old guy at church who had long hair in a ponytail, so that meant guys could have long hair too. One time I was sitting with a couple guys and one of them asked if I was a boy, why did I use the girl's bathroom? And if I had been more self confident I might have been able to explain that nobody believed me, and I'd never told any teachers, and there were security cameras outside the bathrooms, and besides, it was just habit. Once, during gym, I asked to use the bathroom and went into the boy's bathroom instead. It wasn't that different, just the stalls were a different color, and probably there were urinals also, I don't remember. Thankfully nobody was in there, so I just used the bathroom and went back to gym. I sort of gave up telling everyone I was a boy all the time in 4th and 5th, and I wasn't really good friends with anyone except maybe one boy. I was determined to hate the school because it wasn't my old school, and I had really liked my old school.

Skip to 6th and 7th, and I had a school chromebook, which I used to discover the concept of "lgbtq" and do a bunch of "am I trans" type of online quizzes. My best friend in 6th was a girl, and in 7th we drifted apart because she had sports, so my best friend was then a boy in band who was the only other 7th grade horn player.

For 8th we moved again, and before moving, I decided I wanted my hair cut really short again, to show up at my new school looking like a boy, if that were possible. So my mom actually did cut my hair that short, and we donated it again, and I went into 8th grade with short hair and awkward bangs which were difficult to avoid letting fall into a middle part. My automatic new best friend was the only other new person in 8th grade. We were nothing alike, but the whole year I sort of felt stuck with them. They tried new names and pronouns every couple months, and when I mentioned not really feeling like a girl (sort of obvious from the boyish haircut) they wanted to help me find the right name and pronouns and label as well. I hadn't actually hated my name, and I wasn't really ready to try to find the perfect label, but we ended up trying Kai they/them, and Ashe he/him, both of which never felt quite right. Halfway through the year they adopted people into our friendship and I was shy so I became such a third wheel that I may as well not have been there, but it felt wrong to leave them, and I didn't know anyone else very well. I started talking to my mom about these things and she's loving and supportive thankfully, but she didn't quite agree with any of it, or the idea of finding labels, because "we're all just people," and she's right maybe, but the different perspective on things was confusing.

9th (and 10th so far) I didn't really make any "best" friends. I put both they/them and she/her on the beginning of year get to know you papers, and wrote that my name was fine but I wished I could find one that felt less feminine, and that they could shorten it however they wanted. I thought if I had been born a boy, I might want to be a girl, and I might like to wear dresses and make-up. I started thinking maybe I was cis after all, and maybe I was just attention-seeking, which was an oddly disappointing thought, and seemed backwards from the "normal" experience. Then again, if I were cis, would I be spending so much time thinking about it? I'm okay with being a girl, but I don't really feel like I fit perfectly in that box, and I wouldn't mind being a boy instead, but I think I'd feel just as much of a misfit there, too. I don't hate my breasts, they're pretty small anyway, and when I wear feminine clothing (rarely) it looks nice (because girly clothes are designed to look nice on a girly shape), but if I was magically flat-chested one day I don't think I'd mind at all. The summer that I cut my hair (I've grown it back out since then), I tried to dress as masculine as I could so I'd be percieved as male on the playground by my grandparent's house, and it worked, and there have been a couple times that people thought I was a boy or just couldn't tell, but was that actually really cool and exciting, or was I making it up and just telling myself that I enjoyed being mistaken for a guy because I wanted to fit in with the idea of what being trans was based on the online quizzes and stuff?

I also started wondering about sexuality, and feeling the same weird backwards disappointment about possibly being straight, and wondering if it was strange not to have had a real crush yet, with the exception of a strange obsession with a guy in 2nd grade. I think maybe if I'm attracted to anything at all, it would be androgyny. Girls with short hair, boys with longer hair, girls with muscles and masculine features, guys who have more feminine features and maybe wear make-up or nail polish, people who are completely androgynous. Some girls are pretty and some boys are pretty too. Is that okay, or am I just picky and that's why I haven't had a "real" crush yet, or am I deluding myself? What does it even mean to have a crush? Have I had crushes other than just the guy in 2nd grade and I've just been too socially awkward to realize or do anything about it? Or do I just not experience romantic attraction, only ...aesthetic attraction for lack of a better phrase? And am I a girl or not really?

I don't know and gender and sexuality are confusing and I'm still very much questioning and maybe I always will be.

TLDR: I don't understand my gender or sexuality and it's all very confusing please help haha

#??? #gender is confusing #help me haha #transgender #nonbinary #lgbtq #somebody tell me what I am #I know “only I know for sure” but I dON'T KNOW

[coopercheat]

KENERGY: The calm, cool, collected masculine confidence.

Balance in the divine masculine that embraces the boy, the daddy, and the sage.

Accepting others for who and how they are by not placing your expectations on them or writing their stories for them.

Listening to others and taking action. But recognizing what you’re good at and celebrating and sharing it, but more importantly recognizing what OTHERS are better at letting them do what they do best, celebrating them along the way.

Listening to and making our Barbie’s plans come to life by working together, keeping Barbie Land alive & thriving.

Being assertive and actually listening, not forcing your view and expectations but seeing and hearing others possibilities, and building up together.

Decentering yourself and following Barbie’s lead realizing that what’s good for we is good for me.

*If you’ve seen Barbie you understand what toxic KENERGY is, especially as guys are isolated like so many guys are today.

——

If a Ken is the ideal guy, a Chad, a Masc/Musc dude, most guys have a love/hate envy of the Kens. Most of us guys are Alans, the othered guys, the nerds, the soft guys, the f*gs, who are made to feel less than for not being the patriarchal stereotype. First and foremost, there is nothing wrong, bad, or less than about being an Alan. We all have an Alan and Ken side to us (and Barbie side too!) that we can use to genuinely connect with others. The patriarchal systems at play, however, have pitted guys against each other and even worse, against women and femininity, shoveling responsibilities onto us that we don’t actually want in a patriarchal world we didn’t consent to taking part in.

I know firsthand just how beautiful the world is when women lead and men follow - thank you to the matriarchs of my family, the matriarchs of my professional life (@SamJung @robyngreen at @StGermainDrinks, @drinksat6 & @IvyMix at @Speed_Rack and now happily in an entirely women led company at @ArcherRooseWines - I’m 1/2 guys!). The common thread I experienced was the practice of “what’s good for everyone is good for me,” which is why we all flourished.

————

My personal Barbie Land is in NYC, and specifically the LGBTQ community. It’s a magnificent prism of beauty, love, strength and power, the flowing spirit between the femme, masc and queer energies.

But to my fellow gay and queer men - we’ve been creating safe spaces for ourselves but by doing so leaving the Barbies and Dolls behind - it’s time to tap into our KENERGY to support the lesbians (masters of KENERGY), the femmes, and the real dolls - our trans siblings- so they can lead the charge within the LGBTQ community. We can all work together to make their magic happen. Let’s practice shine theory to shine our light on what they’re saying and doing. Let’s use our funds not just for put our funds and time towards the mutual aid networks and community-based organizations, not just nightlife and parties, strengthening our rainbow connections. Our Barbie Land is better when we center the folks who truly understand community and have the best abilities and ideas to lead, and we can all have fun while we do it.

————

What we can especially do is support the straight men in our lives, our fellow Kens. There are so many guys who are doing things right and need that love and affirmation from other guys. Check in on the new fathers to make sure they’re ok too! Send your dad flowers. Tell your brothers you love them. Share love with your guys too.

Similarly, it’s time to call in the Kens who lost their way from the joy and wonder of Barbie Land and whose heads are being filled with evil from Fox News and the likes of Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and Elon Musk. People are products of their surroundings, so we can be the voice of reason for them.

They want to be loved, paid attention to and understood about the pain and loneliness they’re dealing with, but unfortunately society doesn’t set men up for success with processing emotions, communication, and pain. Why do you think mansplaining is such a thing - guys are really only taught how to share facts and knowledge. I’m dealing with all of this personally with the biggest Ken in my life, the man who took me to get Barbies during every visit, my own dad.

————

The best part is we no longer need to be afraid of the other guys in our lives. We aren’t in high school anymore and guys actually like us and want in on our fun too. We just have to meet them at their level, dropping the “already annoyed” reactions to their presence and relate to guys as guys, people as people. The sassy mean girl attitudes we mimic with our girlfriends don’t connect well with dudes. We’re great at being sassy sisters, but how good can we bond with our brothers?

Decentering ourselves and our previous anxieties will create a genuine connection. We THRIVE with our girlies’s boyfriends and husbands. We vibe with our male colleagues. We share workout tips with the gym bros who admire our physiques. We especially do it with each other at the late night pool parties in Fire Island.

————

Guys across the spectrum want buddies, but patriarchy isolates us and pits us against each other, making us feel like we are responsible to do EVERYTHING by ourselves. This prevents us from showing love, care and support for each other because we’re trying to be “better than” everyone else. Let’s be buddies and build each other up because standing by in the shadows has led us to the violent, patriarchal, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic world we live in now. Do we really want this? Is our patriarichal power worth this? Our KENERGY will change that.

Bring that man-bonding, the teamwork, the healthy masculinity, the KENERGY and lead by example connecting with other guys to help make Barbie Land a reality, Barbies, Ken’s, and everyone in between #Kenergy

————

Side note: I am not saying not to be yourself, if you’re Alan, be Alan! We love Alan - but just know you are enough and can tap into whichever energies, whichever sides of yourself to authentically interact with others. Be the Ken/Alan/Barbie/Midge/Weird Barbie that you needed as a kid and share that magic with others. We’re experiencing a paradigm shift, and if we keep sitting back in the shadows letting toxic masculinity run rampant, the patriarchs will do everything they can to maintain power and control of society. If we don’t do it with those closest to us, then who will? If not now, when? We gotta be active participants in our experience and make the world into what we know it can be.

————

Ps guys: the movie was PERFECT. Gay/straight and everything in between - we gotta recognize that we are not centered in the movie and that’s the point. Actually pay attention to the messages in the movie about how much more fun Barbie Land is when the Barbie’s lead and we all work together to bring that reality to life. Understand the effects of patriarchy on Barbie Land, the Ken’s, and on Alan. Decenter yourself and your opinion and listen to what women are saying about the movie and furthermore life. Once you’ve actually listened, asked clarifying questions and actually understand her POV, then engage on your thoughts. Because they likely have shifted once you’ve listened. And that’s the goal.

#barbie #Ken #kenergy #barbie land #barbie world

[incarnateirony]

Genuinely, every fucking homophobe, internalized or external and just pure aggression, that wants to pretend that jensen seeking out roles of being fingered by dudes while fucking PlayBoys, boys, not playmates, not bunnies. I want you to take your very confident internet assertion. I want you to take it to the straightest guy you know. I want you to show them an interview of jensen talking about the sweaty sex, to show them images about eggplant emojis, hell to even show them the original comic. And then, to this uninvolved cishet white man, on a scale of 1-10, how much willingly being surrounded by dozens of dicks and getting fingered by a dude is gay.

And then, I want each and every single one of you 13 year old women fetishizing gay men to shut the fuck up and stop destroying what little queerness we get.

Seriously.

Fuck off. Your masturbation fodder is not our line for anything from representation to valid story.

And you don't get to go "BUT HES GAY AND BAD" shut the fuck up. The show has multiple queer relationships. This isn't villainizing the gay because it's gay. It's fucking depicting in a world with a considerably percentage of queer people that, statistically, not all gays are wearing shining paladin armor, \which realistically is a FAR better and more realistic depiction of the scum of the earth dwelling on this hellsite and pretending "I'm gay" makes an excuse for being an inconsolable pile of human shit that can't socialize on a second grade level.

This isn't. Killing the one gay on set, or making the one gay bad. You can't pull that either. Gay shit is everywhere, the majority of this tv universe is somewhere on the kinsey scale, and one happens to be bad after a few seasons of straight bad guys

We exist.

A bunch of women that swear they care about queer rep that insist, INSIST, they are queer, despite never having a same sex partner, never coming out to parents, never losing a job or apartment for it, never even BOTHERED to research the representation ratios and results of genders and sexualities, never looked into the dozens of queer films meeting their supposed requirements. Do you understand how fucking obscene this sounds when it's really put into frame?

Stop. I've said this for years. I want a bunch of heteroconformative people to stop trying to demand any and all media content fit their literally pornographic needs, where even being penetrated by the same sex isn't gay enough. We are not your playthings.

Let me guess. You're 36 years old, reading this, and IMAGINING you can pretend this is GATEKEEPING just because you've never been fucked by your own sex, rather than YOU internalizing that living that life has given you a different set of privileges to those that can't.

And I don't care if you SCREECH "I AM LGBTQ TOO!!!! IM JUST IN A HET APPEARING RELATIONSHIP"

Cool. Fuck off. You're still part of the problem. If you keep shuffling our goalposts around, you are JUST as much of a problem as the supporters of the goddamn cheeto in chief and his own people that refuse to acknowledge the complicated reality of human sexuality.

I need yall to fucking stop

Reinforcing negative cultural biases that DEMAND we jump through seventeen extra hoops the hets don't need to be acknowledged isn't allyship, holy shit, is this hard?