i just walked into a pharmacy and an ad on the speakers was literally
“The pandemic is over, *cheering*
but Covid is here to stay. *booing*”
my brother in fuck that means the pandemic isn’t over
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ok so. in retrospect, this is something i really should've figured out a lot sooner (like. as in the very first time i picked up literally anything from this era, let alone when i actually read the wholeass arc), but i JUST NOW, after all this time, put two and two together and realized that pre-crisis(ish) connected-to-the-mainland gotham was retconned away and completely replaced with No Man's Land's always-an-island-city gotham
i have gone this entire time thinking that the nml earthquake literally ripped this wholeass city off the map and threw it out to sea as its own brand new little island chain. like shitty new jerseyan atlantis
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i have never felt so sick in all my days
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I had to clean out my car to turn it into the mechanic and Azula has decided that the comfiest bed in the house (of which she has many options, including two actual human beds) is actually the pile of car blankets wrapped in the seat protector
Bonus! Aluminet pillow
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genuinely concerning how many players have experienced cardiac arrest on the pitch in the last three years. i'm sure it's due to a combination of things but i wonder is there enough precaution being taken in relation to it
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Waiting for Permission to Be Sick - Input Requested!
So, I got officially diagnosed with two chronic conditions last week. And the doctor explained to me the details of how these conditions affect my body, and what kinds of symptoms to look out for, and what I can expect life to look like going forward. And I got prescribed meds, and given detailed instructions for when to take them and any side effects I might experience and what to do to help myself feel better if I'm not feeling well, and all of that.
And I just. Haven't done it. I've started taking some of the meds, but not all of them, and like. There's no real reason for me not to? I'm just. Not doing it. Like I've looked up some products on Etsy to have like. Emergency medical info with me so that if I randomly black out or faint again in public, someone could see me and have info know what to do. And I've been looking at pins that say "I have an invisible disability" and aaaaaaaall sorts of stuff. Basically just window shopping for my chronic illness starter kit. But it's been over a week now and I haven't bought anything, and I seem to have convinced myself that I can't start taking my meds until I have all of my Items sorted out and prepared. And like -- there are some actual reasons for this, such as my schedule has been all over the place and my meds need to be taken at multiple times a day at certain intervals, and some with food and some without food, so I need to be able to have that stuff ready to go even when I'm out and about.
But I'm not. Actually doing the work to get everything sorted out and ready? I'm just window shopping. And today, I have been very tired all day because of the rain and because I did too much yesterday, and my head has been hurting because I'm still not over my concussion and I also probably did too much today, even though honestly all I did was go to one class and observe the whole time, and read a couple of emails. And I thought to myself, "well I guess I should take tylenol for my head, and I guess I can give myself permission to do that since my boyfriend is busy and can't tell me to take care of myself --- oh."
I have been waiting for someone to give me permission to identify as chronically ill! Even today I was like "I feel like I've managed to convince myself that I feel worse than I actually do, and I'm actually fine." Even though there would be no real reason for me to be doing that. And like. My head actually hurts! I really did and still do feel tired! And I've seen my test results, and I know that I have a chronic condition. It's been medically confirmed by a bunch of different tests, and multiple medical professionals have been like "yep you've got something wrong with you" (though using more professional and kind words, of course). All of this to say -- I have been waiting for someone to tell me that I am ill and it is chronic and that it is okay to spend money on taking care of myself and things that will make me feel better, even if it is only temporary like the excitement of buying a new pouch that says "This Bag Is Full of Drugs" specifically to keep my medical supplies in, or something to help keep me safe going forward like a medical alert key chain. The only question now is -- what do I do about this? How do I give myself permission to need help or extra accommodations or even just some medication when I never want to admit that I need or want help? I'm so used to being self-sufficient and doing everything by myself that I don't know how to be okay with more problems.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? What do you do? How do you learn to be okay with the fact that your body is not going to go back to the way it was before? I am only 22 and it's hard to accept that my life is not going to look the way I pictured it when I was 18.
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I still find it amusing that in regards to both Post Covid and the Pandemic Special, a major theme/joke that is tied to both would be that the only person who would thrive and be living their best life in chaotic and uncertain times would be Cartman: between being the only one as far as we saw who was having a ball in quarantine (as one would naturally expect of his character) while the others wanted to get back to normal pre-pandy, even going as far as wanting to go back to school in-person; and then growing up to be a happily married man, father, and a successful and respected rabbi, perfectly satisfied with every facet of his adult life.
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everyone say a no covid prayer for me, had one v inconclusive rapid test yesterday (didn't realize it was expired/the solution bled/the other tests in the kit didn't work at all) + two negatives from a different brand and testing again today but my anxiety is screaming unbearably loud.
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