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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

#their sidekick/Watson/pet hacker is a 15 year old grandkid who hangs out with gram gram on the weekends #her only power is that she has above average search engine skills and flexible knees #which is completely sufficient to round out the group's skill set #they involve her in heist style operations #on the rare occasion she gets caught housebreaking she explains her grandma locked herself out of the condo and asked for help getting in #then this sweet slightly addled old lady shows up and explains she got the address mixed up #it's so confusing when you're old & all the houses look alike and oh she's so sorry to have caused so much trouble #and meanwhile the teenager is rolling her eyes bc she's aware gram gram was a career criminal & con artist for 50 years #anyway gimme a 80-year-old con artist turned amateur sleuth who loves getting older because people are less suspicious of little old ladies #this all takes place in florida naturally

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amelia-yap · 12 days

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warrior

#ruby rose #rwby #my art #for one of my assignments where we could chose any fictional character of our liking to render #wanted to go for weiss but #sweet baby bastard is so bloody white. i am not rendering all that white. naw #might draw her on my own time lol #ruby's v7 hair still greatly confuses me lmao #the ear is so fucked up hghhhh #this could've been better but im too tired to give any more fucks hjhhhhjh #one more week sth until sem break again!!! १(>益<१)#gonna go barf out the remaining work i gotta do byee

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the-meme-monarch · 5 months

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every now and then i remember that i can draw literally whatever i want actually. what if darkners was poey mon.

scc are eeveelutions bc eevee is my favorite pokemon and scc are my favorite deltarune characters. and sweet being an umbreon worked out surprisingly well I think. feel free to tell me what pokemon everyone else should’ve been instead though

if you ship scc go away👍

#the art gallery #deltarune #should. i tag pokemon.#pkmn #whatever #scc #btw capn and sweet are twins in this au. hence why theyr both half shiny #hatched from the same egg idk #also my siblings were confused but kk is not shiny #i just didnt colorpick the eeveelution colors and shiny leafeon barely looks different #was worried that saying half shiny people werent sure if i meant sweet and capn AND kk or just the first two. i meant just the first two

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jay-wasstuff · 9 months

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Every person's reaction to the H*nd H*lding being different is funny asf

#shax just looking like shes fucking done she could NOT catch a break at all #the other demons staring in utter confusion and gagging like cmon now keep the h*nd h*lding in the bedroom!!#maggie just finding it sweet is so her and then nina is there like “i just wanted to talk about the christmas lights man”#crowley like mmmm okayyyy i see i can do that~ and aziraphale looking scandalised by the openness of such display from gabriel LMFAOOOO #good omens #good omens 2 #go2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #neil gaimen #michael sheen #david tennant #crowley #aziraphale #gabriel x beelzebub

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clownsuu · 9 months

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Get CRABBED aahHahhaah

What- are these funky lil lads doin on my screen-???

#LMAOO THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT #THOUGH HONESTLY I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THESE LIL FELLERS DO #They are invading my screen-#H e l p-#Lil dudes are committing crimes and filing my taxes poorly #One is committing grand theft auto-#Another is writing fanfiction on wattpad #Big boi confUSION #BUT THANK YOU MY GAMER THAT IS VERY SWEET OF U FBFHDDJDJDJ

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listranz · 17 days

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I love the way Alucard's design looks here: his hair falling over his face, charismatic expression and a hat with round glasses... It's so beautiful that I impulsively saved fragments of the manga while I was reading it.

#manga #edit #my edit #archive moodboard #dark #alucard #hellsing #hellsing alucard #This is the face in frame 5! sweet and lost; lol #It's a little confusing and at the same time it's great that his hairstyle changes from time to time #vampire #*it will just be here

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everchased · 3 months

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i confess i am very curious... what is finch like as a lover

depends on who's holding the leash

#points at him. service top (usually...)#he's kinda rough but waxes dangerously saccharine if you so much as imply praise #make him earn it tho he likes it #it's a knight thing #his tryst with halsin was a wild ride (HAH) because like #halsin stripped ass naked and was talking all this sweetness and IMMEDIATELY dropped to his knees and it was very #y'know those pictures of big dogs being carried and looking confused about it #it was that #next day like: so that was kinda new for me and really nice... next time can u be a little mean tho 👉👈#oc: finch #bg3 #bg3 tav #nsft #my art

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peanutseagle · 10 months

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Hi! I'm new to the fandom and you're the first few artists that made me ship damianya bad 🤭💕 could you draw them visiting stella lake or just them being cute in the summer 👉👈( It could be a date or just them in canon age 😅)

Love your arts too much... 💖

just fullfilling my duties in the damianya nation <3

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stuckinapril · 2 months

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OK I’ve been having bicurious thoughts and tumblr has to know first

#DONT LOOK AT ME #dint go into my inbox and ask me I’m confused too #I’m still identifying as straight bc for my 21 years of existence it’s been guys for the most part #But there’s this nice girl ik and she’s so sweet and pretty and I’ve been so done w men #AGAIN do not needle me about this im confused too OK #And don’t be mad at me if it ends up that I’m just straight I have never guessed I might be bi OK. W this girl it’s different #Like I’m actually into you???? You’re so sweet & so beautiful?? I love spending time w u?????#and ik she’s also bi so I would not have my heart crushed if she was like Umm I’m not into girls #p

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o-wild-west-wind · 14 days

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kind of an underrated “frankfurters” type genius moment of Ed’s is honestly what he saw in Stede from the very beginning. like it’s objectively hilarious and endearing that he saw that pasty cringefail man bleeding to death and was like “I need him” but like…beyond the fascination even, I feel like he knew. he’s always playing the long game. he knew Stede was a “cool pirate,” that he was more than he seemed on the surface, was worth giving notice to—that he’d be something. it’s exactly what Ed is best at, and what makes him so successful: he sees the utility and potential in what others tend to ignore. trash as treasure, if you will. and of course, as usual, he’s right.

#oh Stede my sweet little trash man #now what Ed’s conscious thoughts were at that point are a different question #because I feel like he must’ve been going through it with confusion and denial #but it must’ve been so satisfying to watch Stede succeed you know #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #edward teach

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cricketclan · 5 months

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YAYYY WOOO first actual relationship in the clan!!! Followed by pain and suffering and death. sorry to all of the Sweet Creature fans, she was barely there for ONE moon. ALSO im crying shaking over Thunderpaw's death. CRYING. Also Bigdawn is the starclan guide, i wanted to draw her

First

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brown-sugar-89 · 5 months

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Cccoulldd we see some more Sweet Dreams AU stuff? Maybe a Pizzano design? Love the au a lot!!

I swear I can recall people calling SD!Pizzano a broken toy, which I totally agree with, but honestly? he's more of a ticking bomb.. to escaping this illusion :^D He's the last grip before it all goes down track, that's why SD!Pizzelle has the biggest trouble gaining him by his side. It causes horrible mental damage to Pizzano as he's not just slowly gains back his personality like Pizzelle does, but the two of these mix together, causing his memory overlap and/or loss, and confusion. Spoilers ahead: worry not! It'll be okay in the end. Both of the men are gonna team up to handle new rather difficult circumstances.

But I'm seeing too far... For now, we just settle down with utter tension slowly growing in both Theo and Pepi. In their own ways :^]

#pizza tower #pizza tower au #sugary spire #sugary spire au #pizzelle #pizzelle suzette theodore #sugary spire pizzelle #noise #theodore j noise #pizzano #pizzano t creampuff #sugary spire pizzano #peppino #peppino spaghetti #pizza tower peppino #sugary spire sweet dreams #sugary spire sd #istg i confused so much people because this revives old outdated lore I'm genuinely ashamed.#REMINDER: THIS IS JUST MY AU *A*

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milomilesmib · 10 months

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Nico: why is Leo clinging to you like that?

Jason: a few hours ago he heard me singing "Nobody Loves Me" and thought I genuinely felt unloved and had a mental breakdown so I offered him comfort and he's been here ever since.

Nico:

Nico: oh, honey.

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rulesofdisorder · 2 years

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you can never trust a man because Oliver Marks said “I don’t know it’s like I look at you and suddenly all the sonnets make sense” to Meredith and then almost immediately after took the fall for a crime he didn’t commit and went to prison for 10 years because he was in love with James.

#like sir that was so sweet and THEN!!!#i would have been so confused if i was meredith😭😭 like bitch you say that to me and then CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE😭😭😭😭#i would never recover #all men do is lie #oliver marks #meredith dardenne #james farrow #iwwv #if we were villains #jamesoliver #do they have a ship name?#oliverjames #oliver/james #oliver/meredith #mine

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randomwriteronline · 3 months

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ALSO based on my previous post abt the mata going into elemental withdrawal. I think they wish each other to be caught in natural disasters as like a very genuine have-a-good-day-take-care alternative. Which on one hand yes it does come off as regular Sibling Behaviour but also it sometimes comes off as them fucking hating each others guts

"hope you get caught in a blizzard" "hope you walk into an open fire" "hope you fall into a cave" "hope you land in a stone pile" "hope a tornado catches you" "hope you get swept by a tsunami"

What they hear: i love youuu <3 <3 <3 :) :D

What everybody else hears: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

#bionicle #toa mata #random talks #the turaga miserably thinking their unity is gone to shit while the mata just go aww thank you brother/sister :)#them good naturedly wishing horrible harm on spherus magna lads. like they see berix likes tinkering and theyre like #hope a chariot crashes in front of you!! <3<3<3 #and hes just scared and confused like what did i do to you??? for you to wish me that???#'but dont you like fixing things? if it crashes in front of you then you can fix it! and it can make your day better :)'#'oooooh oh ok. i get it. thats sweet of you. PLEASE never say it again but thats sweet of you'

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wisepuma23 · 8 months

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Knives and forks clink against the dinner plates, metal scraping and laughter, their base drips with water from above. Drip, drip, drip. Impulse watches. It seeps into the center of the table, a growing patch on the wooden grain. Right between the steaks and loaves of warm bread. Nobody pays it any mind. Drip, drip.

(…Nobody but him.)

Etho says something he doesn’t catch, a bark of laughter from Tango. Beads of water splash onto the surrounding food.

Impulse’s hold on his fork goes tight.

He needs to fix that.

“Impulse buddy, you with us?” Skizz shakes his arm, “You agree Scar’s acting weird right?”

“Yeah yeah,” Impulse answers on auto-pilot, “I heard rumors he’s been trying to get kills. Yellow Scar, man.”

Tango cackles and the conversation cycles on. Impulse steels his jaw, he can’t zone out again. Keep pretending, he reminds himself. It wouldn’t be good to stab his teammates at the dinner table. He’d have to clean the table out. Maybe pull out the entrails from the cracks in the grain of wood.

(Drip, drip.)

No, focus.

Focus.

(A faint, metallic scent permeates his senses– gone in a moment.)

Impulse bites into a piece of steak. Buttery juice slides over his tongue and between his teeth. The taste of blood makes his grip on the fork creak. For what feels like the first time in millenia, his glamor itches at his skin. The careful control over his form twitches and squirms like a coiled snake poised to strike.

Show them what you really are, hums in his mind. The dripping echoes like a wardrum. Show them your true face.

Impulse licks at his lips, “You did a nice job, Tango. It’s delicious!”

“Aww!” Tango coos, his flames crackling a soft orange-red, “Etho lent me some seasoning but he won’t tell me where he got the happy happy sauce.”

Impulse takes another bite, canines digging into flesh and bone, and the rip is loud. Or is it loud for him? Again, infernal magic bubbles at the back of his throat. He swallows, appraising the flavor. It doesn’t drown out the sickly sulfur like he hoped.

“Bdubs?” Impulse guesses with a tease.

“Oh come on,” Etho groans, “Ah I guess that was way too easy.”

“He married me too, remember?” Impulse laughs at Etho’s expression, “Can’t blame me for forgetting the best meals I’ve ever had! Bet he’s feeding his family around now.”

Etho waves him off as they cackle at the blush rushing up past the mask. Impulse cuts another piece off the bone. Rip, snrk, clink. Idly, he wonders if human skin still made the same noise.

The clink of metal against the plates, the dull pounding of water. The snap-crackle of Tango’s fire. Buttery-sweet blood coats his tongue.

He remembers the musky smell of Etho's burning hair and flesh, his screams turned into bloody gurgles as he flailed in lava in the first game. Just minutes before everything ended.

Impulse tears off a chunk of meat.

(Snrrk, clink.)

People die in so many ways. It’s why he loves the variety poison provides— stomachs twisting and lungs seizing— and yet he wonders if anybody’s tried skinning someone, if the server would even allow it.

Impulse swallows a dark laugh, is vivisection on the table? His glamor shivers.

Metal catches the light, the smooth shimmer taking him back. To sharp arrowheads and snapping magma, to a castle reaching into the sky.

He remembers a golden clock.

(Rip, snrk, clink.)

Impulse remembers the way Bdubs’ flesh bubbled and blistered from the Wither. The way his Red bloodlust sang at the way his corpse crumpled to the ground. Bdubs’ skin growing dark, mottled with blackened streaks and bruised from the Withering and regular battle.

The worst of it healed over, scars stitched into flesh. But he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t revel in it, the stained canvas left on Bdubs’ face and arms.

He kissed that face. Peppering them along wither-cracked ribs and arms, tracing every dark and poisoned line with a smile. I’m sorry, he had said. I’m sorry.

He meant it. (Yes, really.)

Impulse hadn’t meant to curse Bdubs with chronic pain and scars, especially since he had to feel the echoes of it through the soulmate bond. He loved Bdubs. Loved him since the beginning.

And he remembers the rip-schk! of the ax in his back.

The way his blood pooled on the grass as everything went dark.

The phantom feeling of Pearl’s wolves tearing flesh from bone in long strips and bites. Riiiip-snrk-crunch.

Blood dripping from between their teeth.

(Drip, drip.)

Impulse stabs his fork a little harder into the next cut, picturing a handsome face with a cute and crooked grin. Damn him. He glares down at his plate. No, focus. Pretend, he tells himself, you’re good at that, aren’t you?

There’s a hand over his, warmer than it should be. He looks up.

Tango has cocked an eyebrow up with a cute little nose crinkle, “You in?”

Impulse blinks, the words registering in his head.

“Yeah, sure,” He grins, “A walk sounds great. I think I’m tired of Skizz’s stink overpowering the place. We really need to install some ventilation.”

“Hey!”

And they laugh, bright and loud as Skizz pouts, checking his armpits. The glasses shake as Tango rattles the table with a smack, a cackle on his lips. Etho’s eyes twinkle with amusement.

Impulse’s focus drifts. Back to the present, away from the blood.

(Drip, drip.)

And yet.

(Rip, snrrk, clink.)

…The hunger prevails.

#impdubs #ethubs #trafficshipping #impulsesv #limited life smp #demon impulse #my writing #puma writes #trafficblr #trafficshipblr #for anyone that's confused this is about Boogey Impulse #im truly so insane about his pov in limlife about it #he's soooooo fucked up and I love the idea that the boogey curse directly taps into his demonic urges #which he only shows in N&S and ZITS #impulse is sweet bc he wants to survive as people do kill all the “evil” demons they come across and that's in the past now haha #ANYWAY impulse struggling to keep his glamor on when he usually forgets its there and just hhhh #tangpulse

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