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haikyuu-appreciation-club · 4 years

Text

•Looking Out for You•

Akaashi x Reader

warnings: one or two curse words

genre: fluff + a pinch of angst if you squint

word count: 2.8k

hey lovelies, just wanted to let you know that this is another personal oneshot i wrote for a friend that was modified to be enjoyed by everyone sooo if there are some things that don’t resonate to you specifically i apologize!!

also, just as i finished this i realized the second half has a similar vibe to “Closer to You” sooo let’s just ignore that lol

oh and i’m sorry if he’s a little ooc, i don’t know his character very well, but i tried my best >_<

anywhoooo i hope all of you akaashi simps enjoy :p

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You had always attended your boyfriends volleyball games, cheering him on from the stands and being the first one to wrap your arms around his neck in congratulations when his team won. You had supported him and his sport even before the two of you had started dating, loving nothing more than being his personal cheerleader with anything he did. Even being pretty quiet and shy by nature, being able to support your significant other with one of the things he was most passionate about brought out your energetic side. It’s not as if you cheered very loud or yelled out his name when they got a point but none the less, your presence was always known to him.

Akaashi was beyond greatful that you were always there. He felt a sense of comfort being able to look at his alluring significant other whenever things on the court became too stressful. He always felt your love and support spread throughout the whole gym like a wildfire as soon as you walked in and he couldn’t ask for anything more.

During this particular game, he found his gaze landing on you more than usual. He couldn’t disappoint you, not when you were looking so nice in his spare jersey. You were representing him up in those stands and he would never be able to forgive himself if that expression of awe morphed into an expression of disappointment. However, he was slowly losing his faith in the ability to pull off this win.

The team was on their fifth set of the game. Their stamina had begun to leave their bodies the set before this and now they were just trudging along with whatever they had left. Physical and mental exhaustion plagued them but you knew no matter how drained they were, they would give their all until the very end. The score had gone over a few points on both ends and was now sitting in the low twenties. The apposing team was on match point with Fukurōdani not far behind. However, if the other side got this point, everything was over.

You knew how hard Akaashi and the team had worked. They came to practice early in the morning and left late at night in preparation for this specific match. They polished and perfected every trick in the book, making sure that they were able to put 100% of themselves into this game. You had witnessed their hard work first hand, usually stopping by the gym after school to wait to walk home with Akaashi. You watched the way everyone put their blood, sweat, and tears into improving, constantly putting everything they had into the things they did. You were so beyond proud of the boys, especially Akaashi. You knew how hard he worked and you would still be over the moon with his performance, win or lose.

Akaashi did not have the same mindset. He knew that volleyball wasn’t life or death but that didn’t mean that he didn’t care about the outcome of this game. He had worked his ass off as did the rest of the team and he wanted to make you proud. Now more then ever did he want to be able to walk off that court and feel the warmth of your body pressed against his as you whispered words of congratulations into his ear.

However, the powerful serve that materialize on the other side of the net washed away any chance of that scenario unfolding this game.

Every piece of your heart shattered as you watched the boys of Fukurodani desperately trying to get the ball back up and in play. They were clawing at any opportunity to be able to send it over again and get back their lost points. But in the end, it was no use.

As the gym fell silent, the only sound that met your ears was the soft bounce of the volleyball as it came to a stop. The opposing team and their supporters broke out into cheers but it reached your ears in a muffled manor. The only thing you were focused on was the dejected state of the defeated party. Everyone looked as if they were in a state of shock. Everything they worked so hard for these past weeks had been thrown away in a matter of minutes. You already knew they were all playing each and every mistake over and over again and going over every what-if imaginable.

Your gaze apprehensively wandered to Akaashi. He looked as if he was in a daze. The same nonchalant expression was painted on his face but as you looked into those beautiful blue eyes you could decipher every emotion he was feeling in that moment. He had never been one to show or voice much of his emotions so you had grown to learn how to read him like a book over the years. You could tell how crushed he was at the outcome of this game. He had always put way too much pressure on himself when it came to volleyball. Sometimes forgetting that a sport was a team oriented situation and that he couldn’t place the blame all on himself. That didn’t stop him though.

You wasted no time in standing up and making your way to the court. You mumbled words of apologies as you pushed past people, wanting to pull your boyfriend into your embrace as soon as possible. As much as you felt as if you were being too much with the small action, you knew he would not use his words right away and he needed to be reassured in a matching silence.

Once you reached the court, the team had just concluded shaking hands with the other team and thanking the people who showed up for supporting them. Making their way towards the doors you could see everyone’s tear streaked faces more clearly then you could before. Akaashi was an exception but you knew if he was one to cry, he would be sobbing right now.

You ran up to him and engulfed him in a hug. In that moment you didn’t care who was staring, you just knew that he needed someone. He slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and let his head rest in the crook of your neck. You ignored the sweat that was clinging to his figure, caring only about showing your boyfriend how incredibly proud you were of him. This lasted for a few moments until you pulled away, cupping his face in your hands and placing a chaste kiss to his forehead. You reached down to grab his wrist and pulled him away from the noisy gym and out into the fresh air.

A cool breeze surrounded you two as you sat down against the back wall of the gym. Akaashi slowly followed suit, sinking down next to you. You two sat quietly for a moment, the only sound filling your ears was the rustling of leaves on nearby trees and the soft breaths escaping your bodies. You honestly didn’t know how to break the silence. Usually you and Akaashi were pretty good when it came to communicating with each other, but in this specific situation you were at a loss for words. So, until you could find the right thing to say, you opted for a more physical aspect.

You scooted away from him, creating a gap between you two. He looked over at you, confused as to why you gravitated away from him. That was until he felt your hand snake behind his head and find a place on his cheek, pulling him down into your lap. You ran your fingers through his soft, black locks as he started to shake lightly in your hold. You knew he had finally reached his breaking point. You leaned down and whispered softly into his ear,

“It’s okay Keiji, you can let it out. It’s just you and me.”

In that moment, every emotion he had been suppressing had come crashing down. He turned his face into your inner thigh and quietly sobbed.

To anyone else, this would be a sight to gawk at. The Keiji Akaashi crying? A man who was always so calm and collected? Who never let his emotions phase him, Crying? However, you knew him better than that. Akaashi was a human being after all. No matter how much strength he had or how composed he was, he too had a breaking point and he trusted you to see that. He always waited until he was with you to rant or yell or cry. He didn’t do it to burden you and never did he take his emotions out on you directly, but you were his home. He knew with you, you would never judge or view him differently. He was comfortable sharing a side of himself that no one got to see.

You felt your own share of tears escape your eyes as you sat there, rubbing his back. Akaashi didn’t breakdown often, but when he did it always pushed you to your own breaking point. You carefully swiped at your face before finally speaking up,

“I know you don’t want to hear it right now, but you did a really great job today. I can already tell you’ve replayed all of the mistakes in your head but you can’t overlook everything you did good Keiji. Sure, you lost, and I can’t begin to imagine how upset you are over that but volleyball is a team sport. You win and lose as a team so you can’t put all the blame on yourself,” Akaashi maneuvered himself so that he was now face up, staring into your comforting eyes as you continued your speech. “You can sulk, and I'll be right here through it all but take this as an opportunity to improve and make yourself the best you can be. You’re an incredible player and I'm so proud to be in those stands watching you, win or lose.”

You took a deep breath and looked down at Akaashi. You couldn’t exactly decipher his emotions in that moment. His lips were slightly parted as he stared up at you, puffy eyes unreadable. Had you said something wrong? The last thing you wanted to do right now was make things worse for him. You lifted your head and averted your gaze, starting to regret opening your mouth at all.

You felt Akaashi sit up and your eyes traveled back to his figure. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he cupped your cheeks, taking a moment to admire you. You always knew what to say in every situation, good or bad. That was one of the things he had always loved about you. One of many reasons he was so deeply in love with you. He brushed his thumb over your soft skin before pulling you close and connecting your lips. His kisses were always so soft and gentle, love reverberating throughout your body with each one. You wished they could last forever but eventually you two had to break apart for air. He leaned his forehead against yours and mumbled against your lips,

“Thank you Y/N”

You pulled back and nodded, giving him a smile as you brushed away the hairs that clung to his face,

“Let’s go home Keiji”

He stood up and offered you his hand. You laughed at his typical gentleman antics and accepted his outstretched hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

You two walked back to Akaashi’s house just as the sun began to set. The silence that fell around you two was comfortable, just enjoying being in each others company. You could tell he was still upset over the outcome of the game but there’s no way he wanted to discuss it any further at the moment. He probably would open up about it over breakfast tomorrow morning once he had gotten all his thoughts collected, so you weren’t too worried about it. Right now, you just wanted to give him the opportunity to get his mind off of everything for a moment.

Once you two got through the door, you were greeted with an empty home. Akaashi’s parents usually took business trips on the weekend so you two had the house to yourselves. You ushered your sweaty boyfriend upstairs and instructed him to go take a shower. He gladly agreed, already feeling the warm water soothing his sore muscles. As he walked upstairs, you walked to the kitchen and pulled the menu for your favorite ramen shop off of the refrigerator.

Ramen was always a mutual pick me up dinner for the two of you. If one of you got a bad grade on an assignment or your club activities weren’t going to well or you just had a bad day in general, you would always go eat ramen together. Today was definitely one of those days. You ordered the ramen to be delivered to Akaashi’s house, not really thinking he would want to eat out tonight. Walking back into the living room you brought some blankets with you to the couch and scrolled through the purchased movies on the television.

Akaashi walked back downstairs and into the living room to see your figure on the couch, sitting with your knees tucked into your chest to leave room for him to sit beside you. He smiled at your considerate actions and took a seat beside you. He grabbed your ankles and pulled your feet so that you slid onto your back, legs draped over his lap. You smiled up at him, admiring how handsome he looked post shower. You turned your attention back to the T.V. and continued to scroll through the movies as you asked,

“Harry Potter type of night?”

He chuckled lightly as he rubbed the top of your lower leg subconsciously,

“Only if it’s the fourth one, the others will have to wait.”

You scrolled to the fourth movie out of the series and clicked on it. As it begun to load you set the remote down and grinned,

“Of course, besides Draco looks the best in the fourth one.”

Akaashi looked at you, trying to suppress a grin as he shoved your legs off of his and stood up. He begun to walk out of the room as you scrambled to your feet and walked after him,

“Keiji, i’m sorry, i was joking i swear, you’re the best looking guy i’ve ever seen,”

You continued to ramble about how attractive your boyfriend was and how much you loved him but were cut off by Akaashi turning around and grabbing you by your waist. He spun you around a few times as you let out laughs that were like music to his ears. Just being with you made him forget about the distress he was feeling earlier. Volleyball wasn’t the most important thing in his life, but you were. As long as he had you, he would be okay in the end. He set you down and placed soft kisses all over your face, earning a few more laughs from you,

“I know you were joking baby, i was too.”

He smiled at you as he began to walk back to the living room. You followed suit until you heard a knock at the door. Akaashi looked over his shoulder a quirked an eyebrow at you. You shrugged, not wanting to give the surprise away, and went to go answer the door.

You walked back to the living room and set the ramen on the table. Akaashi’s eyes visibly lite up at the sight of the logo on the bag. You undid the knot at the top and pulled out akaashi’s bowl of ramen,

“Tada! Pick me up Ramen!”

Akaashi smiled as he took the warm container from your hands. He placed a kiss on your cheek before moving down to sit at the table in front of the couch. You grabbed your ramen and did the same.

You two watched the movie as you ate, quietly commenting at certain parts and snuggling closely once the containers were empty. You loved nights like this, just being in Akaashi’s company and spending time with him without having to worry about anything. He was your safe place, and you were his. It was you guys against the world and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

As the movie came to a close you noticed Akaashi nodding off, and felt yourself doing the same. You pulled him into your lap once more as you leaned back against the couch, letting your eyes flutter shut. Before you drifted off to sleep, you heard sweet words meet your ear,

“I love you Y/N, more then you know”

You smiled softly to yourself as you lightly rubbed his shoulder,

“I love you too Keiji.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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honeybee-babe · 5 years

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How can you excuse all of the abusive things Luther has done to his siblings (especially Klaus) throughout the series? And don't pull the "he was drunk" card. And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn't intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn't experiencing a literal psychotic break down.... Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.

~ wowowowowowow i clenched my jaw all night thinking about this ask~~

Yikes. You’re not asking me why I “excuse his actions” (I don’t), you’re asking why I see him as a human being with flaws and trauma which need to be addressed rather than the literal devil. And why I don’t think he is irredeemable based on a few terrible choices (when he has also made some great ones and showed affection for his siblings in the past). I honestly think people hate Luther because it’s easier to have clearly good characters and clearly bad characters, even in a show that actively and artfully avoids that dichotomy.

Why do you care that I like Luther? I’m not bashing your faves or causing any harm to you? I am not trying to tell you to like him or convince you he is a great character. I know he has flaws.

But if you really want to know how I “excuse all his actions” (which…. I don’t?), I’ll humor you, but I’m answering the question you’re really asking:

Why Do You Not Despise Luther?:

This response is really longwinded but THIS QUESTION IS REALLY OVER-SIMPLIFYING(!!!) so I feel it’s warranted.

First, I’m gonna address the “abusive things Luther has done to his siblings throughout the series:”

I am not excusing any of the things Luther “does to his siblings,” I’m just saying we should extend the same amount of courtesy to him in sympathizing with him and understanding the motive behind his actions (just like we all do with Vanya). And also consider the fact that he is deeply traumatized and has literally been gaslit his entire life into thinking he has to follow a specific model that was set out for him as “leader.” Literally he has been taught that he is nothing without the UA and being a leader, and I don’t think people release how damaging that is to a person?

But also hot take: I don’t think Luther is abusive towards his siblings at all? Not until the last two episodes for sure. I think he is insensitive towards others’ emotions at times, but he is never cruel just for the sake of being cruel. I honestly think Luther is incapable of picking up on emotional cues to some extent.

I’m re-watching right now, I just finished episode 7 and I have yet to see any signs of him being abusive towards the others, and not Klaus specifically? The choking scene was vile and physically violent but I don’t think it’s abusive because it was a one time thing and abuse is a cycle. Luther isn’t particularly awful to Klaus, he is just dismissive? The only person he ever is really verbally mean to is Diego when they get into fights and Diego is just as bad if not worse, and also intentionally tries to get an emotional rise out of Luther (which is…. just as awful and cruel?).

But yeah I finished episode 7 and no abuse so far… maybe my dumb ass who was abused for my whole life just doesn’t understand what abuse looks like? Okay that’s kind of a joke but I’m actually being serious, my abuse is pretty similar to Luther’s and my body dysmorphia/eating issues are similar to his too which is a lot of why I resonate with him, so I could be missing signs because I’ve probably acted the same way. So please point out to me where specifically he committed an act of abuse, and not a one time act of violence or simply being dismissive of/not picking up on someone’s emotional needs.

Also I honestly think Luther is just in denial of others’ emotional needs because he is in denial of his own emotional needs. He has been taught to push everything down, including the needs of others, with the only goal being completing the mission, and protecting everyone/leading everyone to safety. Also I mean, he hasn’t been around human beings for 4 years (so of course he struggles to relate to them/communicate healthily), and he was always taught not to engage with his siblings but just to lead them because that was his role.

Also Klaus and Diego (especially Diego) are just as dismissive of Luther’s trauma? And like yeah Luther covers it up but it’s pretty freaking obvious…pointing out how big he is specifically.

Diego literally sees Luther shirtless after the chandelier falls on him, sees how self-conscious he clearly is, and then never asks about it or checks on him (yet continues to joke about it – also Klaus makes fun of his muscles when he first sees him which is just insensitive). And in the first episode the way Klaus jokes around during the family meeting about cucumber sandwiches when Luther is trying to plan a memorial service; it’s obvious that Luther is grieving and paranoid (and also that he has been manipulated enough to love Reginald!!!) and Klaus is just making jokes and not addressing this? And then they both just ignore his obvious paranoia over Reginald’s death and just call him crazy and walk away? And don’t use the “he was high” excuse for Klaus being a prick (just like I can’t use the ‘he was drunk’ excuse for Luther, which I never did once btw, y’all just want more justification 2 hate on him).

Also: Yes, Luther tells Diego to stop talking shit about Reginald at the memorial service but like, from his perspective, that is someone bashing the person he was closest to AT HIS FUNERAL!!! He starts the fight with Diego but only after Diego provoked him, clearly intentionally, and Diego continues to fight him and throws a fucking knife at his arm (but physical violence is only not okay when Luther uses it right?).

Also HUGE THING Y'ALL ARE IGNORING: Klaus finds out Luther had nonconsensual sex while drugged out of his mind and congratulates him………. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk about you but I think Klaus has been around the block when it comes to drugs and sex (and consent) and should realize that someone on drugs for the first time losing their virginity is nonconsensual, or even if considered consensual still pretty icky? Like Luther is clearly ashamed and upset and doesn’t want to talk about it and Klaus just laughs abt it. That is so not cool.

And another thing:

Luther is very, very protective of Five which is so so sweet, yet people just completely overlook it because they only want to see the bad things he’s done. When he and Allison run into him in the hallway at the end of Run Boy Run and see him looking distressed Luther asks him in a soft voice, “Are you okay? Can we help?” and reaches out to touch Five’s face. Five grabs his hand to stop him but this was very sweet? Like it’s clear Luther has a soft spot for him because he’s small.

But Diego? After he finds out about Patch he bursts into his apartment and goes to attack Five; Luther has to pick him up to restrain him from beating up their brother who has the body of a 13 year old. All because he blames him for the death of the love of his life (just like Luther is afraid of Vanya after she killed Allison). But in Diego’s case, Patch is already dead; Diego only wants to hurt Five out of vengeance, not because he’s trying to protect Patch. And he doesn’t apologize or anything after????? It’s just never brought up again!

SO IN TERMS OF LUTHER BEING AWFUL TO KLAUS THE WHOLE SEASON: is he? is he really? is he really abusive? and is he really that much worse than his other siblings?

And now I’ll address this nonsense:

“And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn’t intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn’t experiencing a literal psychotic break down…. Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.“

…….sigh.

Luther is absolutely not being intentionally cruel or doing this to “punish” Vanya, he’s doing this because he’s freaking the fuck out and doesn’t have any idea what she might do. Yes it’s a bad idea but we need to keep in mind that he’s not thinking logically, he is emotionally distressed. Yes he could talk to her but Allison had just tried to do that…. and look where the fuck that got her?

Do you seriously believe Luther was mentally stable and thinking logically in this moment? Do you not realize he was literally going through a breakdown and identity crisis of his own?

He just found out maybe two days ago that his entire life was a lie and the person whose approval he sought the most didn’t give a shit about him, found out he was isolated from humanity for no reason (which….. as if being isolated in itself wasn’t traumatic enough), after he was mutilated against his will, and now he has just witnessed the person he loves most almost die and he couldn’t do anything about it. Luther is experiencing a breakdown and I think a big part of it is control: he realizes he’s had no agency his whole life/has never had control, he just lost control/agency over his body on drugs even more and had nonconsensual sex while intoxicated, and then after this he sees Allison dying and he can’t do anything to help her (he can’t even give his blood)!!!! His superstrength and locking up Vanya is the only thing he has control over, he feels it’s all he can do to prevent the apocalypse/protect everyone.

Not only that but the idea of control as contol over powers: Luther has super strength, he has to be super careful and controlled all the time so he doesn’t accidentally hurt the people he loves… the thought of someone’s powers being out of control is probably the scariest thing in the world to him. And yes, he gets in fights with Diego but he doesnt use his full strength (just like Diego doesn’t either) because if they did then they would actually hurt each other, they have a lot of control over their powers. But Diego can control his powers by just… not throwing things and having temper tantrums. Luther doesn’t need to be angry to fuck up with his powers, we see that in the very first episode when he punches the model airplane. Luther can never escape his powers and has to constantly control them, and the idea of uncontrolled powers is his worst fucking nightmare.

So Vanya tells him, “we got in an argument and things got out of control” … like just imagine what must be racing through Luther’s mind when he hears that!

Yes what he does in this scene is awful but you can’t convince me he is doing it with the intention of hurting her. Literally you can see in his eyes as he is choking her how pained he is by this. And he apologizes to her: why would he apologize to her if he was trying to hurt her? And if that was intention… why wouldn’t he just fucking kill her?

I absolutely don’t agree with his decision here but like…. he absolutely is going through a mental breakdown and it doesn’t just stop during The Day that Was/Wasn’t and to act like he is completely stable and in his right mind when he locks Vanya up is just grossly oversimplifying everything!

Y’all demonizes him over this but completely overlook some of the awful things his siblings have done (Diego going to beat up Five because he blames him for Patch’s death, Vanya killing a ton of random people because she was locked up)…. Like yes: Luther is insensitive, dismissive, and cruel in this scene but it is not his intention to be cruel, it’s obviously his intention to control Vanya’s out-of-control powers, protect his siblings (esp. Allison), and prevent her from causing the apocalypse. It is awful and yes it is cruel but to act like he just doesn’t give a shit about Vanya and/or is doing it just to hurt her is just….. so beyond what the show is portraying.

And I get that you guys really despise him for this, and if you’re going to hate him, fine: but you completely overlook the terrible things all the other siblings do throughout the whole series and write Luther off as evil, which is not cool. Seriously, y’all portray Luther as the literal devil just so that your faves seem like infallible angels and your headcanons and fanfictions seem nicer and more simple………. and honestly I just can’t reason with you. I think some people just hate on Luther and love everyone else because his abuse situation is more complex and they’re just… literally too lazy to do the mental math, so they stick with stanning everyone else whose trauma is more obvious? Even though Luther covering up his trauma (literally) and refusing to talk about/deal with it is a huge plot point in the show, y’all perceive this as him just not having any trauma, or just overook how his trauma affects his actions.

This show isn’t supposed to be “everyone in the family are wonderful, perfect victims and deals with their trauma like angels EXCEPT LUTHER HE IS STOOPID AND EVIL AND ALSO HIS TRAUMA ISN’T DEEP ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!”…… and if you think this then I think you need to do some soul searching? Or actually do some research into abuse and learn that it comes in many different forms and has many different effects?

Again: I don’t dislike any of the siblings. I used them as examples but I love Diego, Klaus and Vanya!!! I respect and understand them all and view them all as troubled souls who are trying.

This show is complex and it’s designed to be uncomfy, and if you simply write it off as having clear victims and villains (except Reginald, he a dick) then you are not respecting the writing or giving the show justice.

Gerard Way says he wrote Luther based on his own experience of body dysmorphia, isolation….. the show designers say he has self-harmed before, and Tom Hopper has said Luther has been suicidal in the past…. but you know what, go on portraying his trauma as “having it easy” and using violence/cruelty just for fun, even though the show clearly portrays him as a broken man.

#umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #luther hargreeves defense squad #luther hargreeves protection squad #luther positivity #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves

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zephyroh · 7 years

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Trimberly Week - Day 1 // Coffee Shop - Read on AO3

‘I think I’m witnessing this girl having a mental breakdown.’

Trini leaned against the counter as she hit ‘send’, then resumed to covertly watch Kim at her table. She had mentioned the girl to Zack briefly after her previous shift. He obviously teased her for having a crush on her — ‘if you had seen her, you’d get it’, she had simply answered, not in the least embarrassed — but she felt the need to share the sight in front of her with him.

Panic! At The Coffee Shop

Trini’s head popped up as she heard the front door of the shop open loudly. She sighed as she put her costumer face on. She had twenty minutes left off her shift and all she wanted was some peace and quiet before going back home.

The coffee shop, located on the campus, was almost empty at this hour. Students usually favored the library rather the shop in the evenings. Except, apparently, for the girl who had just came in, and seemed to be in quite a rush.

She had her head down, phone in hand, and headed straight for the counter without even looking up.

“Hi, I need coffee!”, she announced with a voice that Trini would only describe as “panicked”.

“Yup, that’s usually why people come here.”, Trini simply replied with a bored voice. That made the girl finally look up from her phone, and Trini thanked her habit of always maintaining a perfect composure as well as her trained poker face because damn she was gorgeous. She was slightly out of breath, short-ish black hair all over the place and soft eyes, despite the panicked look on her face.

She just looked straight at Trini, agape, blinking a few times but without saying a word for a while, before snapping out of it and blurting out, a bit flustered:

“Yeah, right- umm sorry. A large latte, with sugar and soy milk, please. Name’s Kim.”

The barista felt an amused smile growing on her lips at the mess of a girl in front of her. While she was typing the order, and starting to prepare it, she heard the girl’s phone ringing. She couldn’t help but let out a chuckle when she heard “Go! Go! Power Rangers!” blasting out of the device.

“Jason!”, she practically shouted, picking up the call. “Where the fuck are you? This is an emergency! Like Defcon 5 emergency!”.

As she was stirring up the coffee while pouring the warm milk in it, Trini frowned at the analogy. She was pretty sure that girl had no idea what she was talking about. Her doubts were rapidly confirmed when the girl responded to what her interlocutor was saying – probably the exact same thing Trini was thinking.

“I don’t care about this Defcon shit, it doesn’t even make sense! Bring your ass over here!”. She hung up the phone dramatically, turning to Trini with a desperate sigh. The small girl had to hold back another laugh because she thought her behavior was adorable, but it was probably not the moment to mess with her.

The girl thanked her – and Trini’s stomach was a little too happy at the smile she gave her – before walking to a table, sitting down. And then she proceeded to smash her forehead against the table with a loud whine.

__________________

Kim’s leg was bouncing up and down relentlessly as she was staring at her phone. How long did it take to cross the campus on a fucking bike? She took a long sip of her drink and relished at the sweet taste. She shot a discrete look at the cute barista — she had almost drooled when she had looked up from her phone to order her coffee, and was dead embarrassed at the way she had stopped functioning for a second. She hoped the barista hadn’t noticed, but wasn’t too confident about that

However, losing her means in front of a cute girl was the least of her problems right now. She needed Jason like, yesterday. On cue, the doorbell rang, announcing someone entering the shop. For the third time in ten minutes, Kim’s abruptly turned around on her seat to see who it was. She already had three false hope, and was starting to lose it — well, more than she already had.

Her body flooded with relief at the sight of her best friend’s familiar combo of red jacket and blond hair. As he was approaching, she shot up from her seat and launched herself into his arms, making him almost trip. Taking a step back to balance the weight, Jason laughed into her hair.

“Well, someone’s happy to see me!”

They parted and he took the seat in front of her. Judging by the state of panic of his friend, he asked worriedly. “So, what’s going on Kim? You’re freaking me out a little. Well, more than usual.”

“Okay so, I’m in trouble.”, she answered with a trembling voice. “Like huge trouble. As in more that the time I stole my dad’s car to go to the beach party and crashed it into a street light while drunk. Or more than the time I made you climb up the neighbor’s wall and you broke your leg. Or more than the time we set the couch on fire.”

“The time you set the couch on fire. I vividly remember telling you playing with that many candles was a bad idea. Like all of your ideas actually”, he corrected with a stern tone. Kim merely rolled her eyes, sweeping the comment with a wave of hand. “If you’ve killed someone, I am not taking Billy’s van to help you bury the body, he’d freak if there was blood on it.”, he added in a mocking tone, hoping to calm her down. It didn’t work.

“My parents want to visit next week”, she deadpanned with a grave tone.

Jason raised one eyebrow, expectantly. “… And? It’s not that terrible.”

“Remember when I told you my parents weren’t happy about my choice in college?” Jason nodded, waiting for the follow up. “I actually didn’t tell them I registered here.”

Jason’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He just stared at her, flabbergasted, as she avoided his gaze.

“You— you didn’t tell them you dropped out of med school?”, he whispered strongly, as if Kim’s parents would hear them if he spoke too loudly.

“No, I did not! Why are we whispering?”, she answered in the same tone.

Jason slapped his right palm against his forehead, at loss for words. He knew Kimberly was reckless and often acted without thinking about consequences, but this one took the fucking cake. He rubbed his eyes roughly, and his heart melted at the sight when he re-opened it. Kim looked so desperate, and he knew about her difficult relationship with her parents, so he could understand why she wouldn’t want tell them.

He reached to grab her hands in his own, gently rubbing them with his thumbs to reassure her.

“You’re gonna be alright, okay?”

Kim shot him a small, thankful smile. She knew she could always count on him to help her through awful situations — situations she’d often put herself in.

__________________

Trini rubbed firmly the back of her neck and her shoulders as she looked at the clock. Forty minutes left. Her feet were hurting, and she was having murderous urges after the last customer had complained about his drink for five whole minutes because it wasn’t lukewarm enough. She hated people. All of them. She couldn’t wait to strip out of her uniform and go slouch on Zack’s bed to watch Netflix.

Her heart sank when she heard the doorbell ring and the door open, cursing internally whoever just came in… just to lighten up — always internally of course — when she saw the girl from the other day step in. She still had her leather jacket on, and this time was wearing what Trini made out to be a tank top that let her see the pink of her bra-stripes. She didn’t have to force a smile when the girl reached the counter.

She looked less panicked that the day before, but not very collected either. She was nervously tapping the wooden counter with maroon painted nails as she ordered with a strained voice.

“Hi! A large latte with sugar and soy milk please.”

“Are you sure?” Trini couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

“Pardon?”, the girl asked with a confused look, tilting her head — and Trini couldn’t help but notice again how cute she looked.

“No offence, but you look like your heart is about to give out”, the barista explained.

“Yeah, exactly, that’s why I need my coffee.” Trini frowned at the unexpected answered, and the girl continued as to answer the unasked question. “Coffee helps me calm down.”

“Yeaaaah, I’m not sure that’s how it works, physiologically speaking.”

“Well, it works, psychologically speaking, and that’s good enough for me,” she fired back with a wink, and Trini happily gave up the argument.

“For… Kim, right?” Trini congratulated herself when she saw the girl’s pleased – and maybe even flustered – smile.

“Attentive, I like it… Trini.” Trini didn’t know if it was the playful tone, the way Kim leaned on the counter or the smirk on her lips, but she lost her composure for a second and her heart skipped a beat. Thankfully, the girl must have mistaken her little gay panic for confusion because she gestured Trini’s apron. “You have a name tag.”

A minute later, Kim sat at the same table as before, and Trini noticed she was bouncing her leg again. ‘That poor girl must have a stressful life’, she thought. She remembered wondering what she and the blond boy — probably her boyfriend from the way she jumped in his arms, Trini had noted with disappointment — were talking about the last time, because from afar it looked pretty animated.

Trini caught herself staring at Kim for the rest of her shift.

__________________

Kim yawned loudly, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried to smother the shiver running down her spine. She was striding through campus, heading toward what was starting to become her lair. Good wi-fi connection, unlimited amount of food and coffee, and a cute barista to look at, who would ask for more?

She usually went after her last class in the early evening, but this morning she was too tired to function without a little help. Her stress and the thought of seeing her parents soon had kept her up all night; she needed caffeine to get through the day, to stay awake more than to calm her down this time.

She barely tried to hide her smile as she noticed that Trini was behind the counter. Nor did she try to contain her flirty attitude when she ordered her usual drink and a muffin. She also intentionally brushed her fingers against Trini’s when the small girl handed her the receipt. She was almost proud of herself at her successful move when she tripped on her feet as she was turning away, dropping her muffin and almost spilling her drink all over the floor, letting out a loud “Fuck!”.

She sighed out of desperation — she was so done with herself — as she bended over to pick up her muffin, and her mortification only grew stronger when she heard Trini’s light laugh behind her.

She turned and shot her a fake mad look. “Shut up! Not even one word.”, she ordered but couldn’t hold back the embarrassed laugh in her throat.

Trini playfully mimicked zipping her lips before winking, and Kim almost tripped again before settling down at her usual table.

However, her mood considerably darkened when she felt her phone vibrate, the screen reading a text from her mother. “We’ll be here in a couple of days, not sure when yet. Eager to see you. Love, Mom.”

The very same feeling of dread that had kept her up all night crept back into her bones. She dropped her head in her arms with a whine. She was starting to make it a habit of it.

She was joined a few minutes later by Jason, and his ever so calm composure, the opposite of Kim at that moment. He offered her a sympathetic smile when he saw her frantic state.

“Be careful, or you’re gonna get white hair sooner than you should.”, he joked, sitting down to face her. She ignored the comment, reaching to take a sip of her drink. When she put down the cup, she had the most serious look on her face, which was rapidly contradicted by her following words:

“So I thought about my problem, and I’ve come up with the only possible outcome that’ll get me out of this mess.” She paused for dramatic effect, and Jason raised an unimpressed eyebrow, half-convinced by what was going to come next. He knew her too well. “I’m gonna fake my death and move to Canada.”, she finally revealed.

Jason threw his head back, letting out an exasperated groan. He rubbed his forehead, taking a deep breath, then looked back at Kim with a pleading look.

“Kim, when are you gonna learn to take responsibility for your actions. You can’t run away from all your problems.”

“Yes, I can, Mom!”, she mocked. “I can sell the apartment, take the car and never return.”

“You wouldn’t even know how to fake your death!”, he argued before realizing he should not be encouraging this discussion.

“Errrr, yes I would. I’ve watched ‘Gone Girl’ like three time, I’m pretty sure I have the basis covered,” she countered proudly. Jason just threw his arms in the air, at loss for words.

“It’s too early for this, I need coffee. Want a refill?”, he asked as she nodded vigorously.

He returned a few minutes later, with a smirk on his lips and a question in his eyes.

“Kim…,” he teased, “How come the barista knows your name and your coffee order? How many times have you even been here?”

All he got in response was a bashful smile.

__________________

‘I think I’m witnessing this girl having a mental breakdown.’

It was eight in the morning — her only morning shift that week since she’d always ask her manager to not put her down for openings — she had not been in a good mood. Trini was not a morning person, and her tolerance for customers decreased exponentially the earlier she had to get up. Except this day, because this morning the beautiful Kim had walked into the shop again, and Trini was not about to complain. Trini was pretty sure the girl had flirted with her, before tripping on her own feet, and Trini had decided she could definitely just watch this girl for an entire day and she’d never be bored.

As if on cue, she witnessed Kim burying her head in her crossed arms with a loud whine — and it was definitely not the first time Trini had heard her make that sound.

‘You should probably not be turned on by that, Crazy Girl :p’ She rolled her eyes at her best friend’s answer.

Trini looked up again to see Kim stretching — her tank top slightly rising to uncover a tanned skin, allowing Trini to catch a glimpse of toned abs —, her hands combing through her hair. Trini’s breath stopped for a second, and she had never been so glad to have a morning shift.

Her mood however deteriorated when the door opened to let the blond boy walk in. She turned and went into the back store to get some coffee beans to grind, and mostly avoid watching the two together. It wasn’t that she was jealous per say, she barely knew Kim. But she had to admit it was a little frustrating to have her flirt with Trini, just to run into her boyfriend’s arms the next minute.

When she got back, he was standing at the counter, waiting patiently with a polite smile. Trini cursed him in her head. She barely nodded her head to acknowledge him, not even bothering to greet him. He didn’t seem to mind or notice.

“I’ll take an espresso, for Jason, and my friend over there would like a refill of-”, he started but Trini mechanically interrupted him.

“Large latte with sugar and soy milk for Kim, got it.”

Jason merely raised his eyebrows in surprise. Then a wide amused grin grew on his lips and he looked delighted for reasons Trini did not understand.

They left a few moments after, all playful and teasing, knocking each other shoulder and Trini felt a pang of jealousy — she had to admit it — when the Jason guy ruffled Kim’s hair as she was giving him a beaming grin.

The rest of the day passed by painfully slowly. She had a long lunch break during which her manager Rita called her. She was sick and couldn’t work today, and they were still understaffed so Trini had to pick up her shift, meaning she was going to have to close the shop. A whole day of work at Krispy Kreme, how wonderful… At least she’d be payed extra. Near the end of the day, she was texting Zack, raging over Blond Perfect Jason and asking if he still had weed for the night when the door opened.

Trini’s secret prayers were answered when she caught sight of Kim’s leather jacket and purple bra-stripes. And when Kim shot her a soft smile, Trini forgot all about Jason. The barista noticed that the girl looked more tired than desperate this time, and Trini couldn’t decide which was better. She didn’t even wait for Kim to place her order to start preparing the drink, and the grateful look on Kim’s face as Trini handed it to her was totally worth it.

“On the house tonight”, she said with a wink. “You come here like twice a day, it’s the least we can do for our most faithful costumer. Besides, you look like you really need it.”

Kim chuckled lightly at the comment. “Is that your way of telling me I don’t look good?”

Trini rolled exaggeratedly her eyes, trying to contain the endeared smile on her lips. “Fishing for compliments now? Like you need anyone to tell you you look ho-good! Tell you you look good”, she stuttered, trying vainly to look detached like she hadn’t just called Kim “hot”.

But then again, the smirk on Kim’s lips was worth it.

Two hour later, Trini was finishing up tidying up behind the counter and preparing to close. When she looked up, she saw Kim was the last person there, crouched over papers and books, two empty cups of coffee lying there and a half eaten cookie.

Trini shamelessly ate her up with her eyes, taking in the way Kim’s hair was falling in front of her eyes, how the girl’s hand mechanically reached to tuck them behind her ears, how she frowned in a terribly cute manner at her books when she was focused. She couldn’t help but notice how red her lips were from biting, and how her hands were always busy playing with her pen.

She was however disturbed in her contemplation when Kim’s phone rang, breaking the bubble the girl was in. Kim picked up her phone, her eyes widening with horror when she saw the ID of the caller. She forcefully put her phone down, screen facing the table, letting it ring and vibrate against the wood.

Concerned as the now too familiar panicked look on the girl, Trini left the counter to approach the table. Kim acknowledged her with a small smile, and Trini noticed the girl was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Hey, everything’s alright?”, she asked and mentally cursed herself at such a lame question. Everything was obviously not alright.

“I think I’m having a panic attack.”, Kim answered, almost calmly.

“You’d know if you were having one.”

“A small one then!”

“You can’t have ‘small’ panic attacks.”

“I think I have at least one once a day, actually,” she retorted and Trini couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this girl.

She tentatively reached her hand across the table, brushing against Kim’s finger. Kim immediately turn her wrist to let Trini have access to her palm.

“Wanna talk about it?”, the barista asked with concern. Kim’s eyes were focused on their joined hands, the frown never leaving her face. The phone stopped ringing.

Analyzing the look on Kim’s face as she was studying the way their hands fit together, Trini was starting to think that maybe the girl’s constant state of panic was about that. Not about her specifically, but college was a time where people were starting to discover more about themselves. And the first day, things seemed pretty tense with the Jason guy… Maybe Kim was discovering herself, and she had trouble dealing with it. Trini had to shut down the little voice in her head saying she would love to discover Kim herself.

After a long moment of silence where Trini could almost see the turmoil in Kim’s head, the taller girl finally whispered:

“Have you ever felt so lost that you just want to bury yourself in your bed and never leave for the next decade?”

“About three times a week, yeah,” Trini laughed. Kim’s lips twitched up, but she kept frowning.

“I just– My parents are gonna be in town soon and I have something to tell them. And hell’s gonna break lose. And I’m just not ready for it. “

Trini felt a pang of pain in her chest. She definitely knew what Kim was talking about. She had felt the same thing during high school, never knowing how to talk to her parents about her girlfriends, or her life in general. Now she was away, they never talked much about it, but she felt much better now that she didn’t have to see them every day and carry the weight of it every day. Recently her dad had called her and asked at the end of the conversation if she had “someone” in her life, as opposed to her mother stubbornly asking about “boys”. So, maybe there was hope somewhere.

“Maybe they’ll be more understanding than you think,” she tentatively suggested.

Kim chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, right. I think they’ll just break out the body bag because they’re gonna straight up murder me.”

“They’re your parents, in their own way, they surely love you. I mean, if they’re coming to visit you at college, which – correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t wanna assume – they paid for, they care about you and your well-being. Maybe it’s not gonna be that bad.”

Kim ran her free hand through her hair – at Trini’s delight – and let out a noncommittal groan. “Yeah, Jason said the same thing…”

Trini frowned at the mention of the boy. But if he gave this advice to Kim, he wasn’t as bad as Trini had think – had hoped.

“They’ll learn to accept yourself as you are. You have to start to accept yourself as well,” Trini continued, and she realized she was still caressing Kim’s hand as she was speaking.

“I guess…” Kim said, unconvinced, a small confused smile as she was having trouble following Trini. “But no offence, considering the – situation”, Kim hesitated, trying to find the right word. “and knowing my parents, I really don’t see that discussion going well.”

“You have to make them understand you’re not gonna change.” Trini squeezed Kim’s hand in comfort. “Besides, it’s not like it was uncommon, and it’s becoming more and more accepted. They’ll get over it, eventually.”, she added with a hopeful tone – half talking to herself as well.

She had felt so alone during high school, thinking she was the only one in the world with those weird feelings, it had been a lifesaver to find LGBT organization and associations in college. Maybe they would help Kim as well.

Kim’s head popped up, meeting Trini’s eyes for the first time of the conversation. This time, she looked completely lost and confused.

“Wait– what?”

Trini noted the edge of panic back in her voice. Maybe she had come in too strong, she thought with guilt.

“Well, you know… the whole gay or bi thing.”, she finally let out.

Kim froze, eyes wide. For a second, Trini thought that she was going to get angry, that she’d panic even more and lash out. However, Kim’s reaction was totally unexpected and took her by surprise.

She threw her head back, laughing with an open throat. Her hand let go of Trini’s as she brought it to her mouth, while the other was gripping her ribs. It took about two whole minutes for Kim’s laughing fist to calm down in front of a very confused Trini.

Kim was wiping tears from her eyes as she started to apologize. “I’m so sorry, I just did not expect that. At all. I didn’t mean to be rude!”, she managed to let out between two giggles, kind of cancelling her apologies. She took a deep breath, effectively calming down. “You thought I was gonna come out to my parents?”, she asked with an amused smile.

Trini covered eyes with one hand, wincing with embarrassment. She felt like a total idiot. “Obviously, I’ve misjudged the situation.”, she stated, scratching her head.

Finally looking up, she felt her humiliation disappear because Kim was smiling gently at her, and was reaching her hand across the table to touch Trini’s hand again.

“Obviously,” Kim laughed softly. “Well not totally. Because I did come out to my parents a while ago. That hasn’t been much of a problem for me actually. I’ve always known I wanted to do like, half the football team as well as half the cheerleading squad.” Trini almost choked with laughter at the casual way Kim was putting it. Kim frowned as she realized the crassy way she formulated it “Hold on, that came out a bit wrong.”

“If that’s how you announced it to your parents, I bet!”

They both laughed, their hand never parting. After a moment of silence, Trini finally asked in a more serious tone:

“So, what do you have to tell your parents?”

“They think I’m in med school. I’ve actually dropped out last year because I hated it, but never told them,” Kim explained, the frown back of her face. “They’re big lawyers, always busy, always on business trip. So they just send me money to compensate. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great not to have to worry about that. But they want me to be this successful surgeon, keep up the family name, but I hated it, I was miserable. So one day, I just dropped out, and registered here.”

“Just like that, on a whim? Just– change college and your entire orientation?”, Trini asked bewilderedly.

“I’ve always been reckless and impulsive, you can ask my best friend Jason!”, Kim laughed in response. Trini interiorly cheered at the mention of “best friend” and suddenly she didn’t hate Jason anymore. “But three days ago, they called and said they wanted to visit, so I’m screwed and I’m probably living my last hours right now.”

Trini laughed at the girl’s dramatic antics. Her heart beating fast in her chest, she returned playfully “I might know a way or two to make them fun.” For an instant, she thought Kim was actually going to die of her heart attack right in front of her.

The girl gasped, then blushed furiously, biting her lips and running her hand in her hair, before finally meeting Trini’s eyes and answering with a sparkle in her eyes: “What are you suggesting?”

“Is your roommate there tonight?” Trini hated herself for breaking the mood, but they would need to be alone to do what she had planned for them, and a roommate would get in the way.

“I’m not living on campus actually, I have an apartment not far from here,” Kim answered breathlessly. She hurried in stuffing her books in her bags, trying and failing to not look flustered.

“Oh, so you really are loaded,” Trini laughed, impressed.

She stood up gesturing the door. “Well, lead the way.”

Kim merely grabbed her extended hand in response.

__________________

“Sorry, dude. Can’t make it tonight, I’ll explain later, promise,” she quickly texted Zack. They had planned their usual hang out night, but at this moment Trini was following Kim – who was still holding her hand – in her building, and she certainly did not have time to be more specific.

Trini had taken the time to get the booze and weed from her car before letting herself be guided by Kim. Five minutes later, there were standing in an elevator, and the tension was palpable. Kim was restless, shifting on her feet while Trini’s gaze couldn’t focus on one thing more than two seconds.

Kim lead her in a hallway, rushing her out of the elevator as soon as it stopped. She let go of Trini’s hand to get her keys from her bag and Trini’s mourned the loss of contact.

Half an hour later, they were sitting down in a dimmed light offered by a single lamp on the table, backs against the couch, a glass of wine in hand, shoulders and knees touching. Trini was focusing on rolling a joint and Kim was watching closely, admiring the work and Trini’s agile fingers – and she was drunk enough to wonder what else those fingers could do.

“You bought this yourself?”, she asked while pointing to the bottles of wine on the floor. Kim’s speech was a bit slurred, and she leaned in a bit more than necessary into Trini.

Without looking away from what she was doing, nor breaking her concentration, Trini answered distractedly: “What, have rich people never heard of fake IDs?”

“Oh no, we have”, Kim said, “I’m just surprised yours works.” That made Trini look away from the half rolled joint, meeting Kim’s eyes with a raised eyebrow. “Fake ID or not, you still kinda look twelve.” She teased and Trini rolled her eyes. As Kim was giggling, proud of her joke, Trini decided Kim was definitely a cute drunk. And she was wondering what high Kim was like.

Trini lighted up the stick as Kim was getting up to put on some music. A slow, sensual song started playing and Trini met with hungry eyes when she looked at Kim to pass her the joint. Her breath quickened as she watch Kim placing the joint between her lips, slowly inhaling and exhaling the smoke and Trini thought she never looked hotter than at this moment.

Soon, the alcohol and the weed were forgotten, kicked to the side as eager lips met and hands were exploring bodies. Kim dragged Trini on her lap, running her tongue on the whimpering girl’s neck. She slid her hands over Trini’s waist, gently rubbing her nails against the skin, raising slowly her shirt, asking for a silent permission. She took the tugging of her hairr and Trini crashing their lips together as a positive answer.

Trini’s shirt fell on the floor, next to an empty bottle of wine and a still smoking joint butt, quickly followed by Kim’s tank top.

Trini was grinding against Kim’s hips and the girl’s moans were all she could hear. Kim was too focused on Trini’s body to noticed anything else.

Therefore, neither of the girls heard jiggling keys in the lock, nor noticed the door opening, nor saw the two persons entering the living room.

The light went up, illuminating the scene.

“Sweety, surpri-AAAAh!”

Everyone froze in shock in horror as they were processing what was happening. Trini was straddling Kim’s laps, both girls shirtless, two bottles of wine on the floor and the room smelling unmistakably of weed.

Kim’s parents jaws were hanging low, mumbling incomprehensible words, before her mother started to gain composure.

But before she could say anything, Kim blurted out.

“I dropped out of med school!”

#trimberly #trimberly week day 1 #trimberly week #kimberly hart #power rangers #trini kwan #mine #did i used gypsy for like half the graphic you ask #you bet ur ass i did #mywork #myfics #*powerrangers #mytrimberly

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