#connor had a conversation with orion once about grief | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starlitsea · 7 years

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So I did a liveblog for Star Trek: Enterprise 4x17 Bound since that’s a thing I’ve been doing and, to NO ONE’S surprise, did a ridiculously long Trip x T’Pol analysis of the final scene. So, yes, I still love them a ridiculous amount. Cutting to spare you all. But if any of you like TnT, feel free to read! (Ilovethem.)

Ahahaha, dragons. Now, is T'Pol making a joke or not?

Don’t go aboard his ship, Archer! Oh good, you’ve learned your lesson.

Shit, spoke too soon.

At least he’s going with some MACOs and Malcolm.

Kelby is so maaaaad.

Trip is like: Why so mad, bro?

Kelby is PISSED.

T'Pol’s thinking I told you so but doesn’t say anything. Just offers to help out with the engine and Trip doesn’t hesitate because he knows she’s good at what she does. Total confidence here.

But she has to ask him about the “daydreams.” “They would involve me.” Just go for broke there, girl.

That pleased as pie smirk on his face. LOL. “You’re wondering if I’ve been having any daydreams about you?”

The face that could curdle milk at having to admit it. LOL. “Essentially.”

“Well, let me think.” Pretends to think. T'Pol’s hanging on his reply. “Noooo, nothing comes to mind.”

She’s just annoyed now. She’s sure she’s not just fantasizing about Trip because she’s missing him, but there’s ALWAYS THE CHANCE THAT SHE IS. “Forget I mentioned it.”

“Have you been having daydreams about me?” Like a dog with a bone, he cannot let this go. LOL. He is so pleased.

T'Pol: “It’s not important.” A non answer if I and Trip ever heard one.

“You gonna tell me what this is about?” We all know that he is LYING so he does also want to know what’s up with her line of questioning. But the fact that he’s not really concerned about the daydreams probably means that he does, in fact, daydream about her ALL THE TIME. OMG TRIP.

“No.”

Welp, that killed his good mood right quick.

Dude, this Orion has a needle stuck through his face.

Welp, here come the dancing girls.

Jonathan and Malcolm, behave yourselves!

Archer, wipe that smirk off your face.

Please, let’s punch the Orion man in the face.

T'Pol wants to know what the catch is. Also, she’s wants to know why he is talking to her if he doesn’t want her advice and has also agreed to this whole mining enterprise (does he even have authority for this?).

Archer: Well, I might have done a thing.

T'Pol (just resigned, so resigned): What have you done, Captain?

Malcolm is talking all the ladies around the ship. Good self-control bisexual Malcolm.

T'Pol: The Orion women’s presence is becoming disruptive.

Archer: Yeaahhhhh, boy. Um.

T'Pol: Please let’s deal with this issue. Also they think they’re your slaves and slavery is a no-no.

Malcolm and Travis: Let’s put ourselves in as much pain as possible to stop being hormonal idjits.

Travis: We picked up some Deltans with engine trouble once when I was 15 and I had a sexual awakening that I repressed by weight training.

Orion woman busy seducing Kelby.

Hoshi: I have a headache.

Hoshi and Phlox’s friendship is so underrated.

Yikes, when the doctor needs a doctor.

Trip: That’s probably the issue … WTF are you doing flirting in engineering?! Please do your job and don’t give away secrets to aliens?

Kelby: I hate you, Dad! I do what I want.

Trip: Get out of engineering. You’re grounded!

Archer: Slavery is wrong and bad. You’re not my property.

Archer, you are so weak.

T'Pol with the cockblocking LOL. Orrrrr not.

T'Pol: Why did it take you so long to get to the Bridge? Are you OK?

Archer: Use phase cannons and destroy this other ship.

T'Pol: Let’s not. They will go away.

Archer: Malcolm, blow them up!

Malcolm: Not gonna blow up this random ship.

Archer: I’m gonna blow them up anyway!

Never mind, they left.

Kelby, OMG, just bitching about Trip. So much resentment. So whipped.

Trip is like: WTF, the engine made a weird noise. KELBY, WTF ARE YOU DOING?

Fist fight!

Kelby, you know why everyone thinks Trip is better than you? This. This right here.

Kelby is ranting. Archer is about to choke a bitch.

Trip is so confused by why everyone is acting bonkers.

Phlox is just stimulating himself to stay awake.

Trip and T'Pol are totally unaffected. Trip is so confused.

The Orion women are just chilling in the decon chamber. Archer is so messed up.

Orion women: Your intimidation game is weak.

Archer: I KNOW!

Orion women: These are not the droids you’re looking for.

T'Pol: You’re super weak-minded, aren’t you?

Archer: Go help Trip.

T'Pol: UGH, OKAY. (Yes, seeing the man you love while being at odds sucks, T'Pol. Just make up with him.)

Yay, Trip and T'Pol working together.

Random crew members brawling. Trip: STOP IT! That’s THREE times in the last hour. Glad I’m not totally off my rocker like everyone else. BTW, T'Pol, why am I immune?

T'pol spills the beans about the shared psychic bond.

Trip is all like, “We didn’t MATE.” (What we had was a night of passionate lovemaking, not rutting like animals.)

T'Pol: Uh huh. (Yeah, Vulcans mate for life. Didn’t think it would happen with a human. Surprised me too. Deal with it.)

Trip: So those daydreams. That I was totally lying about having. (So daydreamS. Plural.)

T'Pol’s A-HA, you were lying to me, moment.

But Trip is still confuzzled. If we’re bonded, then I’m immune, and you’re making me immune?

T'Pol: Uh-huh.

Trip: I don’t know whether to be relieved or … really worried. (Yeah, now you and T'Pol are joined at the hip, so to speak.)

That’s right, say the Orions, we’re totally attacking you.

More power to the thrusters! TnT on the case.

Yup, you are being towed.

That’s right, the men are the slaves.

The way TnT see exactly the same thing at the same time and know what to do. That doesn’t require a psychic bond. That’s just all them.

They’re so good at what they do.

The Orion women are out and about. They should have set a lock that only Trip or T'Pol had the code to release. Everyone is messed up.

Hoshi: You’re stupid. Don’t do it!

Archer: Malcolm, arrest T'Pol!

Malcolm: Okay.

Trip just shoots everybody. LOL. I forgot about this part and can’t stop laughing.

Ahaha, they’re trying to seduce Trip and failing so hard. THIS I remember. LOL.

“Save it. Archer is in charge of the ship.” Trip looks at T'Pol and tries to suppress the thought, ‘And T'Pol is in charge of me.’ In Trip’s mind, there’s no woman that can go up against T'Pol and win, lbr.

Archer: Well done, you two. You saved the ship, YET AGAIN.

Look, T'Pol is making a joke. I still think the dragon thing in the beginning was a joke that fell flat. But everyone picked up on the joke this time.

Trip is smiling so hard. He is so happy at her joke. She makes another one and he is basically over the moon. This cutie.

Archer’s all: You must be picking up Trip’s bad habits.

T'Pol looks so affronted because it’s TRUE. Trip can’t stop laughing. This is the best thing he’s ever heard.

Trip: “I guess we proved it again.” (It’s so good that he’s initiating the conversation!)

T'Pol: “Proved what?” (Trying not to seem too overly invested in what he has to say.)

Trip: “That you and I make a hell of a team.” (C'mon, you know that’s what I was talking about. We’re perfect together!)

T'Pol: “We do seem to work well together.” (Trying to agree smoothly.)

Trip: “Even more, now that we’re in each other’s heads.” (So yeah, about that psychic bond thing … You were saying we’re soulmates?)

T'Pol’s little inhalation as that hits her and she doesn’t know how to deal. Yeah, he’s her soulmate and he’s LEAVING. Why did he finally decide to be so nice?! OMG, feelings, NO, BAD, MUST REPRESS. She’s trying desperately to address it. “You’re returning to Columbia?”

Trip going all, Yup, I’m in high demand. Everyone wants me desperately. LOLOL.

T'Pol responding with, But stuff’s still broken HERE! Where I am! You know, in my general proximity and stuff! Look at her trying to tell him not to leave without saying it.

Trip’s not buying it. Kelby can handle it. (Look at the skeptical look T'Pol makes RIGHT as he says that.) He’s decent when he’s not trying to blow up the ship so your protests are falling on deaf ears, Commander.

Yeah, Kelby is OK but we all know he’s not as good as you-

Trip is just done now. So done. So so so so done. No more games. “Why don’t you just say it?”

T'Pol’s face is amazing. She knows what he’s driving at but she doesn’t want to admit it to him. She also doesn’t want to admit it to herself. “Say what?”

“That you want me to come back.” The way he says it … he needs to hear her say it. It’s not a plea. It’s not a demand. It’s not a request. It’s just a fact. He just needs to hear it from her.

T'Pol’s so uncomfortable and she’s doubling down. “I believe I did.”

Trip’s face as he looks away and knows he’s not gonna get what he needs. He can’t even listen to her bullshit right now. The disappointment is palpable. Nothing’s changed.

T'Pol knows this isn’t going to work but her defenses are up. It’s her pride that’s driving her now. How can she back down and admit the truth? “I believe your presence here would be extremely beneficial to our operations.”

Connor Trinneer’s acting in this scene is so good. Like, damn. Watch his face go from that, I can’t believe the bullshit I am hearing right now expression, to the cold, hard, 1000% done: No.

She makes this hurt face in response.

But Trip’s voice softens just a little bit and he gives her one more chance, because, dammit, he loves this woman more than life itself and he wants to make this thing work. She’s stubborn, and prideful, and dense, and stubborn, and reactive, and jealous, and did he mention stubborn as a mule? All WAY more emotions than he ever would have thought to ascribe to a Vulcan, but there we go. That’s T'Pol. And she’s developing a sense of humor. And she’s damn fine at helping him in engineering and smart as a whip and she always has his back and is his best friend and the one he can talk to about grief and loss in a way that he just can’t with Jonathan. And she just fascinates and surprises him. Everything about her is a constant puzzle that he wants to spend the rest of his life solving. They could be so good together if ever their timing was right and one of them wasn’t dead or married or in denial or what have you. But he just needs her to give him this. He needs her to let her guard down and tell him, so he asks, his voice gentling just that little imperceptible bit, but he knows her ears can hear it: “That you want me back.”

She slumps. Her whole body slumps, and she lets out a simmering breath. She’s seething a little bit because he’s putting her on the spot and she feels like he just wants to get one up on her. She knows that this is a point that they can’t turn back from. If she actually admits that she misses him, that she needs him, they will actually have to do something with this thing between them. She can’t hide behind excuses anymore. And so she says, steely and a little huffily, her eyes quivering, her lips pressed together repressively: “I don’t know what you mean.”

The way he looks away and the gravelly soft way the words come out. “Well, my mistake.” This is a DEVASTATED man trying to hold his shit together. This is worse than when she took him home to meet mother and then married another man in front of him.

Then the soft and oh so gentle way he finishes with: “See you around.” This is his goodbye to her. He supposes this is all those four years amounted to in the end. A mistake. Have a good life, T'Pol. I hope you’re happy.

And this, this is the face of a woman who knows that she’s screwed up. Like, not a little bit. A MONUMENTAL screw up. The little furrow between her brows. She’s struggling with herself right now, but she finally wins over herself. Can she really let him go like this? Can she really let him go at all? What do you think?

“Wait, Trip!”

And the speed with which his head whips around like he has been hoping against hope to hear those words. The carefully neutral expression on his face that still can’t hide a hint of hopefulness, because he knows he’s got her now. She wouldn’t call out his name otherwise.

She takes a breath to prepare herself. Then: “I want you to come back.”

He takes it in, nodding a little, feeling a tad bit cocky, but there’s not enough in the way she says it to be what he needs. He could read so much into it, but he doesn’t want to do that to himself. He doesn’t want to keep hoping when there’s no hope. To keep deluding himself by thinking she will ever want him the way that he wants her. But even so, he can’t stop himself from hanging onto those words as a lifeline. He’s so in love with her that he’s drowning in his feelings and he is grabbing on hard. But he can’t let her get the upper hand now or everything will just revert back to the way it was. So he doesn’t quite meet her eyes and acts as aloof and cocksure as he can. “And I’ll think about it.” Then he turns to go.

(Also, BTW) this light fixture looks like a heart? AHAHAHA.)

And T'Pol, T'Pol, T'Pol. I’m just shaking my head here. She CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT. She can’t. She just forced herself to admit that she wants Trip to come back and he’s JUST GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT? There is a definite element of panic going on here. She can’t lose him. She CAN’T. And she’s also a little appalled. He STILL might walk away from her?! And then she just throws logic out the damned airlock. (Well, not quite. I’m pretty sure her brain weighed the pros and cons of losing Trip and went OH HELL NO, DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO, GIRL.)

“TRIP!” She goes after him and he turns with a long suffering look and sigh, STILL UNABLE TO MEET HER EYES. OMG, Trip, you know that if you really look at her you will cave IMMEDIATELY, but TOO BAD, SON, T'Pol is DONE playing around. He clearly thinks that she is going to do some more talking at him, but, uh, no, that puzzle that is always surprising you? Here she goes.

She full on GRABS HIS FACE so he can’t get away and kisses him, caressing his neck (she does it to the non-injured side of his face too, very logical). And he LEANS IN and kisses her back. Fuck aloofness, that has never been his style. He’s not a Vulcan.

And here it is, his confirmation. She does want him. She needs him. Dare he dream, that she loves him too? But yes, T'Pol has given him the upper hand for once and he is going to milk this for everything it’s worth. BTW, his lips are pressed together and he’s licking them. The taste of her kiss. He is so smugly enjoying this, ahahaha. And then the thing he does with his thumb, tracing his bottom lip. Tracing the feel on her mouth on his, LOL, boy, T'Pol finds that so distractingly sexy and you know it.

And then he drops the bombshell with the air of a man making a confession. And look at how he looks at her with so much love as he says it. “Three days ago I told Captain Hernandez that I wanted to transfer back to Enterprise.” So really, HE WAS READY TO GIVE UP, BUT SOME PART OF HIM COULDN’T THROW AWAY THEIR RELATIONSHIP. HE WAS READY TO STAY BY HER SIDE AND BE HER COWORKER EVEN IF SHE DIDN’T LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE JUST COULDN’T STAY AWAY. THAT’S HOW FUCKING MUCH HE LOVES HER. Like, don’t get me wrong, he cares about the ship, and Jonathan, and Malcolm, Hoshi, Travis, Phlox, and even dumbass Kelby too, but he LEFT BECAUSE OF HER. She is LITERALLY the reason that he left because he could not keep his shit together around her. But he realized that being apart from her was EVEN WORSE than being platonic friends and fearing for her safety all the time. Like how much worse is it to be daydreaming and worrying about her when he’s NOT THERE TO MAKE SURE SHE’S OKAY?! And probably some part of him was thinking that they DID end up together in an alternate timeline, so she doesn’t HATE him. He knows that she cares about him on some level. He just doesn’t know how much or if she does reciprocate his feelings and he can’t make her love him. She either does or she doesn’t. But him? He’s gone.

But also, this means he totally was flat out lying to Kelby about his position, UNLESS he was going to come back any way he could, even if that meant not as the Chief Engineer. Damn, Trip, you do love her.

T'Pol’s FACE. Like WTF, TUCKER, YOU LITTLE SHIT. The deadpan way she says, “Three days ago” kills me EVERY TIME.

And Trip is just playing with her now. But he is looking her RIGHT IN THE EYES. “I realized this is where I was meant to be. And that this, um,” gestures back and forth between them, “thing between us? Inn’t that big of a deal.” He is playing this off so casually. The EXACT WAY THAT T'POL WANTED TO. But she failed. Like, they BOTH saw how HARD she failed to keep her cool. It is known.

And she has to give it to him, because now her pride is reasserting itself. Part of her is also sort of impressed by him. Equal parts impressed and infuriated probably. But tempered by overriding relief that he’s STAYING. All tamped down with Vulcan repression, though since this is T'Pol, it does leak through. “Agreed.”

His face as he looks her in the eyes is no longer that cold, bitter, reserved face he’s had on since coming back. It’s the old Trip face. The face of the man who loves her, the man she loves. A man secure in his position in her life and who knows that they have just overcome a VERY BIG HURDLE. This was the turning point and they are past it now. Now, they are in uncharted territory, but he is very much looking forward to the journey.

“Guess we got a lot of work to do.” He says it so cheerfully. He’s not talking about the ship repairs. He’s not talking about their duties. He is talking about “this thing between us.” This is a work in progress. This is something that is going to take a lot of time and work and effort. But they are a “hell of a team” and they are going to prove it again and again and again. They’re “in each other’s heads” and they’re a part of each other’s lives in a way that no one else can touch.

And T'Pol takes a moment to take it in. Really take it in. And understand his words and the meaning behind them. And Jolene is so good here. She goes from contemplative to a ‘that doesn’t sound bad at all’ face that I LOVE. And she’s not mad anymore. She’s okay with it. She’s looking forward to it.

And I’m sorry not sorry that this went from a quick liveblog to some goddamned wordy analysis of how much I love these idiots, BUT I CAN’T HELP MYSELF.

This is my OTP that got screwed over by the creators in such a way that I thought nothing else could ever be as bad again (then IchiRuki happened). But it has a happier ending in that EVERYONE WENT: The FINALE IS BULLSHIT. So the novel sequels are actually just a GIANT FIX IT 'FIC and I love that EVEN the publisher just noped the fuck out on the ending.

#adventures in liveblogging #star trek enterprise #st:e bound #Trip x T'Pol #this is why I don't liveblog

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