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my--wonderland · 10 months

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Lettres à travers le brouillard

Joyeux anniversaire CT ! J'ai voulu faire dans l'originalité en écrivant sur un couple qu'on n'avait pas encore travaillé, à travers une forme épistolaire. J'espère que ça te plaira ! (Tu comprends maintenant mes questions sur la date de naissance de Vee ;) !)

27 octobre 2021.

Première année – Ils ont 12 ans.

Chère Viviana,

On ne se connaît pas, mais le professeur Archer m’a demandé de te donner les devoirs. Je suis venu hier, mais l’infirmière m’a viré, parce que tu es contagieuse. C’est pas de chance d’être malade à quelques jours d’Halloween. Y’a une rumeur comme quoi c’est le Covid-19, j’espère que c’est faux. Ci-joint, un questionnaire d’astronomie à remplir sur le Système Solaire, pour dans 2 semaines. Il y aura aussi un contrôle de DCFM jeudi. Rien de compliqué t’inquiète pas !

Je te souhaite un très bon rétablissement 😊

Connor O’Sullivan

Chère Viviana,

Je suis désolé que tu aies dû recevoir ma lettre d’hier sans les devoirs, que j’avais oublié de transmettre à l’infirmière. Les voici.

Connor

24 juillet 2021.

Ils ont 12 ans.

Très chère Vee,

Tu me manques beaucoup depuis juin ! J’espère que tu passes de bonnes vacances. Perso, je joue de la musique, je dessine et tout, je ne m’ennuie pas. Hier soir, je me baladais en forêt et j’ai trouvé un arbre énorme. Il serait parfait pour une cabane. J’aimerais bien en construire une ! Ce serait plus facile avec la magie mais y’a pas moyen, il faudrait un adulte sorcier. Tant pis. De toute façon, j’ai énormément de choses à faire ces vacances ! J’ai inventé un nouveau jeu aussi, de cartes. Les voisins ont adopté une chienne, elle est énorme et elle s’appelle Dana, comme le surnom de ta sœur, c’est marrant !

Je te joins un petit bricolage que j’ai fait.

J’ai hâte de te voir en septembre !

Connor

Vee,

Désolé d’avoir oublié de joindre le bricolage, lol. Le voici. Bisous

Connor

23 décembre 2022.

Deuxième année – Ils ont 13 ans.

Joyeux Noël !!

J’espère que les fêtes se passent bien chez toi. Chez moi, c’est moyen, on ne fête pas vraiment. Je joue des musiques de Noël au fiddle mais Maureen râle. J’en ai marre de sa mauvaise humeur. Mais bon. J’espère que je vais recevoir le parchemin portatif que j’ai commandé, c’est une grosse dépense mais je n’ai rien demandé d’autre donc ça passe. Je te joins ton cadeau ! Je m’excuse par avance si ce n’est pas ressemblant. J’ai eu du mal à dessiner tes cheveux, à cause des boucles. Mais ils sont vraiment jolis.

Connor

Je n’arrive pas à croire que j’ai encore oublié. Ça me saoule. Bref, gros bisous!

30 juillet 2022.

Ils ont 13 ans.

Coucou Vee !

J’espère que ton premier mois de vacances se passe bien. Perso, super ! Je me suis promené et j’ai vu l’arbre dont je t’avais parlé l’année dernière, dans lequel j’avais projeté de construire une cabane. Je me suis dit qu’on pouvait le faire ensemble, je ne sais pas si ça te tente. Dans tous les cas, j’ai demandé à mon père et il est d’accord ! Tu peux même dormir ici si tu veux. Tu peux demander à tes parents ?

S’ils disent oui et que tu viens, je pourrais te montrer un autre dessin que j’ai fait ! J’ai réussi tes cheveux ! 😊

Câlin,

Connor

6 avril 2023.

Troisième année – Ils ont 14 ans.

Ma chère Vee,

Commencer cette lettre a été compliqué. J’y ai pensé pendant des jours. Que répondre à une lettre de ta meilleure amie qui te raconte toutes les épreuves qu’elle a dû traverser ?

Tout d’abord, je veux te remercier de ta confiance. C’est très précieux et j’espère que je m’en montrerai digne. Tu mérites d’être totalement en sécurité avec quelqu’un qui sait tout ce qui est nécessaire de savoir sur toi, et c’est un honneur d’être ce quelqu’un, donc merci.

Ensuite, tu as un courage incroyable. Je suis très fier d’être ton ami. Je sais que tu peux me répliquer que tu n’avais pas le choix, que c’est juste ta vie. Mais si, je t’assure, tu avais le choix, tu aurais pu devenir, sombre, rancunière, colérique, en vouloir à tout le monde pour tes problèmes. Ce n’est pas le cas : tu es adorable, tu es pétillante, tu es généreuse, tu es douce. Tu es un rayon de soleil, pour moi, pour Dana, et pour plein d’autres gens. Peu importe que ta famille soit maudite, peu importe que tu aies ce don dangereux, moi je tiens à toi et je ne t’abandonnerai jamais.

Concernant le retour de ta mère, je vois ça comme une très bonne nouvelle ! Elle a l’air d’être une femme intelligente. C’est très courageux et intelligent de reconnaître quand on a besoin d’aide, et si elle estime être assez guérie pour s’occuper de vous, je pense que tu peux lui donner une chance. Tu reverras ta grand-mère souvent, ne t’inquiète pas !

J’ai conscience que c’est un gros changement, mais mon amitié pour toi ne changera jamais.

Beaucoup de câlins,

Connor

13 septembre 2024.

Vee a 14 ans, Connor a 15 ans.

Vee,

J’espère que j’aurais le courage de t’envoyer cette lettre. J’espère également que tu as deviné ce que je vais y écrire. Je ne suis pas le plus discret avec mes poèmes et mes portraits. Mais tu comprends, tu es une muse magnifique. Déjà, tu es belle. Très belle. Ton visage est adorable, j’ai envie d’embrasser doucement tes joues et de me perdre dans tes yeux. Tes taches de rousseur sont une superbe constellation, qui s’illumine lorsque tu souris. Tes cheveux sont tout aussi magnifiques, aussi lumineux et désordonnés que toi. J’aimerais beaucoup les caresser, mais en attendant, je les dessine. Tout ton corps est joli, élégant et câlinable.

Ensuite, tu es une personne incroyable. Personne n’est aussi drôle, altruiste et courageux que toi. Tu es si mignonne quand tu aides les autres. Quand tu es fière de toi. Quand tu écoutes attentivement quelqu’un. Quand tu ris avec ta sœur. Je me sens bien, complet, en sécurité avec toi. À chaque fois que je te regarde, je me sens honoré d’être aimé par toi, et j’ose espérer que tu m’aimes, ou m’aimeras un jour, de la même façon que moi. Si ce n’est pas le cas, tu auras toujours mon amitié.

Je t’aime, Viviana.

Connor

12 février 2025.

Ils ont 15 ans.

Ma Vee,

Je suis désolée de ne pas avoir répondu tout de suite, mon père vient à peine de me prévenir que ton hibou est arrivé hier. Il avait oublié. Je m’en excuse tellement. J’ai expliqué la situation à papa (j’ai juste dit que Dana avait eu un accident), et il va prendre la voiture pour m’amener à Londres. Je serai là demain. Tiens bon. Je te ferai tellement de câlins.

Je suis tellement désolé pour ce qui s’est passé. J’espère que tu me crois si je te dis que je comprends la peur et la déception que tu peux ressentir. Je t’avoue que je ne sais pas quoi écrire. J’aimerais te réconforter aussi bien que tu l’as fait pour la mort de maman. En tout cas, j’espère que mon affection t’aidera demain.

Dana va se rétablir. Elle est entre les mains d’excellents médicomages. Il n’y a rien que la magie ne puisse guérir.

Je t’aime.

Connor

15 août 2026.

Ils ont 16 ans.

Ma chérie,

Tu me manques déjà beaucoup. Dès que je ferme les yeux, j’ai cette image magnifique de nous dans la cabane. C’est peut-être un peu bête, mais j’ai compris le sens de l’expression « faire l’amour ». Chacune de mes caresses, à chacun de tes baisers, me donnait l’impression que nous créions une œuvre d’art. Et dormir à tes côtés était fabuleux. Même si tu ronfles un peu, je dois dire… Vivre avec toi semble si naturel.

Tu es parfaite pour moi, merci 😊

Par contre, tu as oublié ta brosse à cheveux, je te l’envoie.

Je t’aime,

Connor

Bon, tu connais la chanson, j’ai oublié la pièce jointe. La voici ! J’ai dû emprunter le hibou de ma sœur, j’espère qu’elle ne s’en apercevra pas, sinon je vais me faire tuer.

Des bisous !

20 juillet 2027.

Ils ont 17 ans.

VEE !

J’ai bien reçu ta lettre me communiquant tes résultats aux A.S.P.I.C, et j’ai également reçu la mienne ce matin ! J’ai eu Optimal en botanique, divination et arithmancie, EE en histoire de la magie, sortilèges et potions, et A en DCFM ! Par contre, j’ai foiré la métamorphose, mais ce n’est pas une surprise. J’ai eu Piètre.

Toi aussi, tu t’es tellement bien débrouillée ! Mon père te félicite aussi. Ta grand-mère serait tellement fière de toi, chérie. Moi aussi, je suis fier de toi.

Apparemment, on devrait recevoir les réponses des universités cette semaine, je dois t’avouer que j’ai peur. Je pense que c’est foutu pour la fac de design de Manchester, il fallait au moins un A en tout. Sinon, il y a celle de Glasgow, mais c’est plus loin.

Je transplanerai dès que je recevrai une lettre, pour qu’on les ouvre ensemble.

Je t’embrasse très fort,

Connor

14 décembre 2027.

Ils ont 18 ans.

Coucou mon cœur !

Je t’écris une petite lettre entre deux révisions. Mon premier semestre se passe bien, même si tu me manques beaucoup. L’internat, c’est sympa, Glasgow aussi, les gens aussi, quant aux études, je t’ai déjà envoyé assez de lettres les vantant ! Bref, j’espère que la socio te passionne toujours autant et que l’autre prof débile a été puni pour sa remarque horrible. Comment tu peux être prof de fac en 2027 et utiliser un cours de sociologie pour essayer de faire passer tes convictions transphobes ? Bref, beurk. Tiens-moi au courant !

Ci-joint un dessin de toi que j’ai fait hier soir, je n’arrivais pas à dormir. Et cette fois, je vérifierai au moins 5 fois que je l’ai bien joint. J’en ai marre que tu te moques de moi à chaque fois !

Bonne chance pour tes partiels !! Ça va aller !!

Je t’aime,

Connor

10 avril 2028.

Ils ont 18 ans.

Mon amour,

Je ne sais pas bien pourquoi j’écris. Tu es littéralement dans la même pièce que moi, ta chambre du Grognon. Tu es endormie sur ton lit, je suis assis à ta coiffeuse. Tout ce que je m’apprête à écrire, je te l’ai déjà dit à haute voix, mais avec confusion, avec crainte.

Il est cinq heures du matin, et au lieu de dormir, comme souvent, j’ai réfléchi. J’ai réfléchi à tout ça. À tout ce qui s’était passé. À nous. À notre futur. À notre enfant. (Qu’est-ce-que ça fait bizarre de l’écrire.)

Quand tu me l’as annoncé, j’ai été pris de panique. Créer un être humain n’est pas censé être quelque chose qui arrive par accident. C’est censé être réfléchi et voulu. Mon mutisme t’a fait peur, et je le comprends, j’en suis désolé.

Je ne peux pas tout à fait comprendre ce que tu ressens, mais je peux deviner que même si tu veux garder cet enfant, arrêter tes études te fait peur. Vee, comme je te l’ai dit hier, ce n’est pas obligatoire. Au contraire, tu dois continuer la socio. Ça te passionne tellement. On se relayera pour prendre soin de l’enfant, tout en faisant nos études respectives. Et il y a toujours mon père ! Je sais qu’il ne nous jugera pas et qu’il pourra s’en occuper. Il y a beaucoup de solutions possibles, et aucune qui nous oblige à sacrifier notre avenir.

Je t’avoue que j’ai eu peur, parce qu’une parentalité non désirée, dans ma tête, c’est mes parents. Une mère absente et un père, bien malgré lui, négligeant. J’ignore si je serai un bon père. Je ne sais même pas ce que ça signifie. Mais j’essayerai d’être tout ce dont j’avais besoin. Aimant, présent, quelqu’un dont mon enfant pourra être fier. Et toi, tu seras une mère formidable, si c’est ce que tu as choisi. Il y aura des obstacles, mais on les franchira ensemble. Vers la fin de ta grossesse, je m’installerai avec toi au Grognon, et j’aurai mes cours par correspondance. Tu pourras faire ça aussi, pour continuer tes études.

On va y arriver, Vee. C’est terrifiant, c’est inimaginable, c’est bizarre. Mais on peut y arriver. On pourra l’aimer, on pourra l’élever. On se débrouillera. Je te le promets.

Connor

20 janvier 2029.

Connor a 19 ans, Jaya a un jour.

Je ne comprends pas.

Tout est flou, tout bouge trop vite, tout m’envahit. La moindre lumière m’assomme. Le moindre bruit me terrasse. J’ai mal, mais en même temps, je ne sens rien. Je ne suis personne. J’ai disparu.

Je ne comprends pas. Hier, on m’a dit que j’étais père, mais plus petit-ami. Qu’une mort avait été échangée contre une vie.

Mais ce n’est pas censé arriver, ça. Ce n’est pas possible, ça. Je ne comprends pas. Explique-moi, s’il-te-plaît, Viviana. Dis-moi où tu es. Souris-moi. Câline-moi. J’ai tellement froid.

Elle est là, la personne pour qui tu as donné ta vie – involontairement. Elle me regarde avec ses grands yeux bleus. Les tiens ou les miens ? Difficile à dire. Elle est là et elle est silencieuse. Elle ne pleure pas. Elle regarde. Elle me regarde. Elle attend. Elle attend comme moi, quelqu’un qui ne reviendra pas.

Et pour elle, tu ne seras qu’un nom. Qu’un visage animé sur une photo. Immobile sur un dessin.

Je ne comprends pas. Comment je dois l’aimer avec tout ça ? J’ai promis. Ce n’est pas sa faute, je le sais. Mais quand je la regarde, j’ai envie de pleurer. En fait, même quand je ne la regarde pas.

19 janvier 2030.

Connor a 20 ans, Jaya a un 1 an.

Ma Vee,

C’est bête, mais j’ai besoin de t’écrire. J’ai rassemblé toutes les lettres que je t’ai écrites dans un classeur, et toutes tes réponses dans un autre. Tu crois que ça fera plaisir à Jaya de les lire plus grande ? Je ne veux pas que tu sois une inconnue pour elle. Je veux qu’elle t’aime, même si elle aime un fantôme. Je veux qu’elle aime tes photos et ton écriture, des bribes de ta personnalité, ton rire dans des enregistrements audio, ton souvenir dans mes yeux et sur son corps.

J’ai l’impression de traverser un épais brouillard. Ça fait un an. Et je ne sais pas ce que ce jour doit signifier. Ta mort ou sa naissance ? Le fait qu’ils ne fassent qu’un est immonde. Serais-je capable de fêter son anniversaire un jour ? Elle vit chez mon père. Moi, j’étudie tant bien que mal. Quand je vais la voir et que je la prends dans mes bras, je ne ressens rien. J’ai tellement peur. Pardon, Viviana, pardon. Je n’arrive pas à l’aimer. Mais je vais persévérer. Je te l’ai promis, et elle mérite d’être aimée. C’est un beau bébé, innocente, qui n’a rien fait de mal.

Connor

19 janvier 2032.

Connor a 21 ans, Jaya a 2 ans.

Je l’ai ressenti, Vee. Cet élan d’amour. Cette lumière qui point soudain, traversant les ténèbres, t’indiquant le chemin. Ce matin, alors que je lui donnais à manger, Jaya a dit « Papa ». Avec ses yeux si bleus. Et son sourire presque fier. Et ses boucles qui imitent de plus en plus les tiennes.

Elle a essuyé mes larmes et je l’ai câlinée. Je l’ai serrée très fort contre moi et j’ai répété ma promesse. Je l’aimerai et je l’élèverai. Elle sera ma muse et mon trésor. Je fêterai son anniversaire de façon grandiose chaque année. Et quand elle sera assez grande pour comprendre, je lui expliquerai à quel point sa maman est une personne exceptionnelle. Je lui parlerai de l’héritage de sa famille et je lui donnerai tous les conseils qu’il faudra. Je lui montrerai notre cabane. Je la guiderai et je la protègerai au mieux.

Je dois vaincre le brouillard pour elle.

Connor

#Connor #Vee #Connee

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soisialta · 1 year

Video

vimeo

A White Horse - Award Winning Irish Short Film from Shaun O Connor on Vimeo.

Winner: Best Irish Short Film -- Foyle Film Festival (Oscar Qualifying)

Winner: Best Irish Short Film -- Kerry Film Festival

Winner: Best Overall -- Richard Harris International Film Festival

Winner: Best Production Design -- Kinsale Sharks

Winner: Best International Short Film -- Underground Film Festival

Winner of ARRI Alexa Take/Screen Directors Guild of Ireland Script Award

Nominated: Best Irish Short Film -- IFTA Awards

Cast: Brigid: Amber Deasy Mam: Cora Fenton Dad: Jack Healy Danny: Darren O’Connell Doctor: Paul Cahill Nurse: Dolores Dermody Nurse: Alan O’Riordan

Writer: Paul Cahill Director: Shaun O’Connor Producer: Sinéad Barry DOP: Jass Foley Production Designer: Kate Howard 1st AD: Niall Owens Costume Designer: Kate Howard Hair Make/Up: Gill Brennan Sound Recordist: PJ Rankin Gaffer: Mark O’Rourke Electrician: Jack Ferguson 1st AC: JJ O’Sullivan 2nd AC / DIT: Gosia Zur Camera Trainee: Muru Walters 3rd AD: Stuart McGrainor Production Assistant: Anna Bates Dressing Props: Evin Dennehy Trainee AD: Cian Casey

Camera Equipment: ARRI, c/o 24-7 Drama Lighting Equipment: Teach Solais Grip Equipment: Film Equipment Hire, Jass Foley Insurance: MIB Radios: TVF

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bluestownmusic · 2 years

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Review: Midnight North - Selections From Levon Helm Studios

Review: Midnight North – Selections From Levon Helm Studios Midnight North – Selections From Levon Helm Studios Format: CD – Vinyl LP – Digital / Label: Americana Vibes Release: 2022 Tekst: Tom Wouters In 2012 begon gitarist/zanger Grahame Lesch (zoon van Grateful Dead-bassist Phil Lesch) in San Francisco een folkrock trio met multi-instrumentaliste Elliot Pecken bassist Connor O’Sullivan…

View On WordPress

#Midnight North

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krispyweiss · 3 years

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EP Review: Midnight North - Down and Out in Mobile

“Greene County” is one of those songs that suggests Midnight North might yet come up with a batch of strong tunes.

I came for weed/I stayed for the weather/darling, I miss when we were together/and while I hate to do this by phone/I’m never coming back home, frontwoman Elliott Peck sings on the clip-clopping country kiss-off.

It’s one of three tracks from 2017’s Under the Lights the quartet recast in a rootsy setting - adding harmonies, mandolin, banjo, harmonica, piano and the like - for its Down and Out in Mobile EP, which is rounded out with a 2018 live version of Peck’s moody, semi-electric “One of Those Days.”

With a voice and phrasing that contains elements of Linda Ronstadt, Bonnie Raitt and Natalie Merchant, Peck is Midnight North’s secret weapon. But the material is lacking and when Grahame Lesh steps to the mic - as on the throwaway “Under the Lights” - that fact is even more glaring.

Grade card: Midnight North - Down and Out in Mobile - C

11/13/20

#midnight north #elliott peck #grahame lesh #connor o’sullivan #nathan graham #linda ronstadt #bonnie raitt #natalie merchant #10000 maniacs #down and out in mobile #2020 albums

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theoczone · 2 years

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This again but hey what if it was arrested development

Part 3/?

#nick kent #connor kent #mark brigham #Stan brigham #Sammie O’Sullivan #Dawn kent #Laurie Kent #Lilith kent #Yara kent #Mara button #Elio Kohli #Dee Kent #trouble kent

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hes-writer · 4 years

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Halo

Summary: y/n feels guilty for missing harry

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, mentions of vomiting and nausea, mentions of implied smut

Word Count: 7648 words

A/N: @devilinbetweenthesheet-s : don’t cheat and don’t do drugs, kids.

inspired by one of my anons. some parts are real and some parts aren’t :)

Tarnish (1) . Halo (2) . Reign (3) .

Reign Taglist

___

When the relationship ended, Y/N imagined being bed-ridden. A lack of motivation to do anything casual such as standing. Watching the television seemed to be a task that required all of her energy and full-attention to be able to understand the subtitles on the screen. Her friends would knock continuously on her door to be met with no response because she was asleep or Y/N couldn’t be bothered with pitiful conversation asking her if she was okay. She would be too tempted to ask how Harry was doing when she could easily pull out her phone and search his name in a few quick taps. These used to be easy; as easy as breathing and loving Harry was easier than loving herself.

How was he doing? Y/N hoped that Harry was regretting his actions. She was yearning for the vibration of her phone to restart her heart like an AED stuck to her chest, sending her pulses to remember that they were not what they used to be. Or maybe the snippy ringtone Y/N had set specifically for him and only him would ring through the air as she wallowed in a burrito blanket. Frankly too emotionally worn out to even move an inch as she watched her phone face down on the bedside table of her new apartment.

Life doesn’t wait until Y/N is capable of being back on her feet before thundering down with the foundations of living. Five days into the breakup did she realize that the money she had saved up would be spent faster than she can replace it if she stayed any longer at the hotel near the heart of downtown. It was a spur of the moment decision to ‘treat herself’; she thought she deserved it after being called names and thrown aside like a used toy. And on the fifth day, she was on the lookout for places to live in as she adjusted to her new life without Harry.

It wasn’t like Y/N was completely dependent on him. She had a well-paying job; just not as good as his. And she could afford a nice apartment, just not as nice as his mansion. Nor did it have the same toasty feeling that enveloped her when she walked through the doors. Y/N told herself that she would give it a few months; that maybe it was just the change in setting that misplaced every bone in her body because everything she did felt off. Deep down, Y/N knew that things weren’t the same without him. She could either live a life reminiscing how she--they--used to do things or she could change and adapt to this ball thrown at her.

The decision was in her hands, yet she hesitated with every gambling thought crossing her mind. On one hand, she was used to a routine. It was a routine that never got boring to her, solely because Harry found a way to make things interesting; refreshing. On the other, Y/N would be in a never-ending comparison of how much she missed him or pat her shoulders because she was able to compromise the old parts of her that existed when Harry was around and to integrate it with a new version that was wary of anybody getting close to her.

The challenge was not easy when the media got hold of the news. It seemed as if everywhere Y/N went---mixed reactions and judgement attacked her with doe eyes offering the best of luck or disgusted snickers telling that she deserved it and that they--Camille and Harry--were perfect for each other. But when Y/N quite literally was carrying a piece of him and her inside her stomach did she step up to what she had to become to raise her baby.

It seemed like yesterday when Y/N stared at her reflection in the en-suite bathroom of Harry’s home, pinching at a subtle layer of fat that she was sure wasn’t there a few days ago. Bloated cheeks that added a fullness to her face were substituted as the result of a bright smile plastered on her face because she Harry had pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before she left for work that day. The sudden aversion to fragrant foods she absolutely adored flew right over her head and excused as a bad batch.

And the most painful memory was the day Harry and Y/N’s relationship ended. The beginning of something new, something beautiful was right under their noses. Y/N wondered what could have happened if she didn’t find the letter. When the symptoms of pregnancy became more obvious each day; would Harry notice the change in her physique? The crinkle of her nose when met with a sandwich containing pickles that she used to love?

Y/N couldn’t help but envision holding the stick with a tiny ‘+’ pixelated by dark colours. Sitting on the closed toilet seat as she contemplated delivering the news to him in the early hours of the morning after she was awoken by a flush of morning sickness. Y/N daydreamed about watching his sleeping face smooth out of any lines as he dreamed peacefully and wondered if this was still a part of what he wanted with her. Maybe she would jostle him gently, rousing him with a poke as she kneeled on his side of the bed, flailing the pregnancy test between her fingers until he blinked the sleep out of his waterline. Harry would present her a doozy smile before realizing what she held--to which he would sit up faster than he had ever done, gazing at her with a pleading stare. For Y/N to confirm that yes, she was pregnant. Yes, they were going to have a baby and yes, Harry was going to be a father. A little family in the works.

But that daydream was reeled in like a fishing hook in grave waters as reality grounded her. She was apparently two months into her pregnancy when Y/N had mistaken the sickness as an inevitable reaction to finding out his infidelity. Hearing him say the term of endearment as if he had not used it with another person made Y/N want to grab him by the shoulders to hold a steady contact, jostling him until answers spilled out of his mouth. Answers that Y/N deemed justifiable but was there ever a good excuse for cheating? She wanted to strip him out of the apologies filling his mouth and get straight to the question of why he had done it. But even then, Y/N knew that there was no way she was going to be satisfied with his answers. It was just a matter of her accepting that the idea of ‘what could have been’ would live inside her head because she was the only one that knew about the life inside of her.

Harry had not made an effort to speak to her besides arranging the dates to pick up her things. She had to wear large clothes to hide her growing belly because Y/N wasn’t sure if she even had the right to tell him something so personal anymore. It fit well with the narrative that she was a depressed homebody that craved the touch of his fingertips on her skin, the taste of his lips on her tongue and the weight of his arms around her. Albeit that he was the father, Harry had obviously moved on way before they ended; a little over a year ago now to be precise.

Y/N was almost one-hundred percent sure that Harry had blocked her number. Scratch that, she was certain if the way her messages failed to send were anything to go by. She could handle seeing the handle of ‘read’ on the bottom of a message because at least she’d know that Harry did read it and that he was aware. But watching the encircled, crimson exclamation point appear was just another reminder that he planned to erase four years from his life to start anew.

____

So what if at four months, Y/N was attending another doctor’s appointment by herself, trying to amount to as little attention as possible? Well, today was the day that she was going to find out the baby’s gender. Her bump was definitely noticeable now and extremely uncomfortable especially sitting on a plastic, grey chair in the waiting room. The device in her hand felt like stone perceiving the icon of blaring red that indicated yet another failed message to the contact previously named ‘My Love’, now to just ‘Harry’.

Y/N: I’m finding out the gender of our baby today

Y/N: I’m hoping for a girl but either way, I just want the baby to be healthy.

“Y/N? Dr. O’Sullivan is ready to see you,” The nurse clad in scrubs walked out with a clipboard gripped in her hands.

Y/N stood up, pausing to retrieve her items. She took a breath before entering the room, catching sight of the doctor in his stereotypical white coat focused on the computer screen that showed her information.

“You know what to do. Good luck today,” The nurse mused, handing her a folded hospital gown to change into as she pointed towards the direction of the room with a little nook to change privately. After struggling a bit with pulling off her top, Y/N tied the strings of the hospital gown.

“Hi, Y/N. How are you today?” He asked, standing up to gather the items he would need. Y/N made herself comfortable on the small bed, the white paper crinkling as her weight shifted.

She sighed deeply, “I’m alright. Really excited, actually,” A grin appeared on her face with just how close she was to find out the gender of the baby, “How about you?”

“Good as always,”

Connor O’Sullivan was the name of the doctor. They met when Y/N was in search of the top-tier family doctor’s around the city and instantly had a connection. He had a trustworthy aura that Y/N deemed acceptable to guide her to a healthy pregnancy. A friendship had definitely blossomed around the doctor-patient boundary but they stayed within their limits. Inside jokes existed but it had never crossed the line. And sure, touches to the shoulder happened once in a while but nothing had escalated further.

Y/N’s baby bump was exposed to the cool room. She shivered when a gloved hand applied the gel on her taut skin. Stretch marks were littering the sides of her tummy. It was itchy and uncomfortable. However, it was tolerable especially after applying a combination of creams and oil to soothe the ache. It was also another reminder that she really was about to become a mother.

“Cold?” Connor teased with an easy smile. Y/N rolled her eyes upwards in response, “You’re the doctor here,”

He chuckled, directing her attention to the small screen beside them. The static fizz of black and white slowly morphing to a more discernible image as he attached the device to her skin, finding the perfect angle to produce a clear picture. The first time Y/N saw her little baby; it was the size of a lemon. The next couple of visits showed progression in their growth; tiny baby feet, stubby legs, and sprouting fingers could be seen on the ultrasound.

They looked more and more like a proper baby now--like the ones one would see in the clinics and Y/N really couldn’t believe that she was about to find out their gender. Y/N couldn’t tell just by inspecting the picture because of her lack of expertise.

“You’re having a. . .” Connor began, edging his voice at the last word. He wiggled his brows as Y/N’s eyes widened.

She balled her fists, “Oh, hell. Just spit it out, C,”

“A girl. You’re having a little girl,” He peered up at the patient, watching tears fill the brim of her waterline as she gasped, palming her slightly open mouth.

“A-a girl?” Y/N craned her head to look at the square image, blurrier because of the tears but beautiful nonetheless. “I can’t believe I’m having a girl,”

The doctor wiped the gel off of her tummy with a cloth, switching off the machine as he waited for another reaction out of her. Y/N tossed her legs to the side, putting on her slip-on vans to fully-comprehend the news. “I’m having a baby girl,”

Connor nodded, releasing an ‘oomph’ at a sudden pressure around his middle. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, feeling the tube of his stethoscope dangling against her cheek. Her lashes fluttered, happy tears streaming out. He returned the gesture with soft rubs on her lower back.

“I’m sorry, I’m so emotional,” Y/N pulled away with a huff, using her fingertips to rub the wetness towards her temple. “I’m so happy but I just wished that he was--,” She cut herself off, pursing her lips as an image of Harry carrying their baby appeared in her head.

“I understand, Y/N.” Connor mirrored her distraught expression as he really did feel sorry for Y/N. However, he couldn’t explain the extra twinge in his heart at seeing her frown over a lost love. “You’re doing great on your own,”

She sighed for possibly the tenth time that day, “We both wanted to name her Halo if it’s a girl or Arlo if it’s a boy. It reminds me of what an angel she will be,”

“Wait until she gets older,” Connor joked to lighten the mood, receiving a glimmer from Y/N. “What d’ya say you get changed and I’ll print out this ultrasound, sounds good? A few more months then we can meet baby Halo,”

Halo.

___

Harry’s relationship with Camille was a dream. It was everything he imagined, maybe even better. The first time they dabbled on getting together was four years ago, before Y/N was even around in his life. There could be so many things right about a relationship and it could still be wrong. Maybe it wasn’t the right place, the right time, or they simply had too many disagreements and flaws that both parties were unwilling to work it to make them--work.

Usually, the third time would be a charm but Harry felt that he and Camille didn’t need a third time. As he said, the past couple of months felt like a dream. He could close his eyes and still feel the soft skin of the woman he loves grazing his fingertips. He couldn’t help but transpire into a new chapter of their love; one where it wasn’t just them tumbling in the sheets. When the squeals in the kitchen while making breakfast were paired with pleads for whipped cream on their pancakes; a child.

Harry was old enough to know what he wanted--at least, he thought he was--and a family was in his books. He finally found a partner who had the same mindset in their future; Camille. At first, he was absolutely sure that Y/N could not be erased from; but her name wasn't set in stone and once he found someone better--no way in hell was he going to let that be a missed opportunity.

Camile sighed softly, laying on Harry's bare chest as he pulled the sheets over their clammy bodies. Their orgasms settled in their veins, the rush and panting breaths calming down with each blink of an eye.

With her finger swirling patterns on his skin, Harry stared at the ceiling in hesitant contemplation, “Babe, have you ever thought of getting off the pill?” She paused.

“Uh, sure, but then we would have to use a condom?” Her voice raised at the end in curiosity.

Harry released an awkward chuckle, gently swivelling her body off of him so he could sit up. Reaching over, his fingers found the flip of the light switch that turned the bedside lamp on. He smiled at her appearance, mirroring his stance as she sat on the bed, a sheet clung around her body.

He shook his head, “No, no. No condoms, no pills and, y’know. . .”

The confusion was evident on Camille’s features, “I don’t exactly understand what you’re trying to say, H--,’

“‘M asking if y’wanna try for a baby, love.’

Silence overtook the room. Harry held his breath in his throat, seemingly trying to swallow down the lump that had formed because of her lack of response. She cleared her throat.

“A baby?” Harry nodded with excitement despite the flat tone whipping past her lips. “I--don’t know how to say this, Harry. I’ve never wanted kids.”

His face fell, the words lingering around his head like a flock of birds. The dizzying epiphany rattled his head clear of any other thoughts besides the fact that there was a hole in his book; burnt and toasted with sparks inkling his skin.

“W-why not?” His palms fell flat on the silky sheets, fisting the fabric to keep him settled. “A mini you and a mini-me running around the house. Won’t that be fun, baby? Don’t you want that?”

It almost hurt Camille to see the grin plastered on his face, hopeful eyes practically begging her to change her mind. But she couldn’t.

“Harry, that part will be fun. What won’t be fun is getting huge, morning sickness, weird cravings, hormonal imbalance, the aftermath of labour, the sleepless nights, the puke, the changing diapers, the back pain, the headaches, the fights when they’re older and so much more” Her accent rippled with each explanation rejecting the idea.

Harry huffed, crossing his arms subconsciously to shield himself, “But it’ll be worth it,”

“It won’t be,” Camille scooted closer to him, situating herself on her knees so that she could look into his eyes clearly. “Look, I made up my mind ages ago and I thought you felt the same since you haven’t settled down yet”

“I was jus’ lookin’ for the right person,” His head dipped down, dropping his gaze their intertwined hands. “It’s gonna’ be okay, Cam. We can make it work. We’ll have our own family. We’ll be okay,”

She shook her head in refusal, “It will be okay for you, H.” Harry could feel her hands itching to slip past his. He held her tighter. He didn’t want to lose her. “You can get back to work immediately. I’m a model and it takes time to lose weight. Even when I do--I won’t look the same. It’ll take me months, if not years to even resemble my present body.

“I don’t care how your body looks. You’re still gonna’ look amazing. You think I won’t love you after birthing our little baby?” With brows pressed together, he pouted his lip in curiosity as she rolled her eyes.

Camille sighed exasperatedly, “I don’t want children, Harry. The sooner you understand that the better. It’s MY body. I’ll be carrying the kid around for 9 months. No thank you.” She stood up, stumbling slightly as the sheets tangled around her feet.

He followed suit. His height towered over her as she crouched down to collect the pieces of clothing strewn around haphazardly in a rush to have each other. “But it’ll be MY baby, Cam. OUR baby, don’t you want that?”

Fingernails dug into the skin of her palm, holding her clothes as she spoke, “I don’t, Harry. Why can’t you just accept that?”

In the heat of the moment, Harry couldn’t help but quell the ache in his chest with a memory he thought he had thrown away, “Because Y/N and I planned to have a family. A-and I thought you and I could have one too,”

Camille huffed, keeping her distance. She walked to the bathroom, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have fucking cheated on her then,”

___

His fight with Camille left the both of them on edge, barely able to handle the thick tension surrounding the house. Even though she took refuge in the bedroom and Harry wandered to the kitchen to cool off; it was impossible for them to stay in one place without having another argument.

Harry didn’t mean to let the memory slip past his lip. He hated it when he found himself comparing his past relationships to his current one. He felt that there was no need to do so, especially when the point of all of it was to start anew. Harry guessed that his desire to have a family was too powerful to keep his thoughts in check. The ache bubbling in his chest rose to a boil with each rejection that Camille answered with.

It wasn’t like he didn’t respect her decision. He really did. But Harry didn’t know if he was going to be happy being with her without progressing into something more through the years. What he was asking from her is just as difficult as what she was asking from him. Camille didn’t want to have children and Harry didn’t want to not have kids. There was no room for compromise if they both, mutually, wanted to respect each other's' decisions’ to the absolute fullest. However, the chances of him living a content life were zero to none.

And that was how Harry ended up at a bar, alone, at nine o’clock in the evening. They were invited by his friend, Kora, to a birthday celebration. Harry was reaching the limit of his threshold having to fake a smile and a chuckle while saying, “Camille’s feelin’ a bit sick tonight. ‘S just me,”

The thing with this celebration was that Kora was initially Y/N’s friend. He and Kora had become close friends while he was with Y/N and he guessed that that was the reason why he was invited. Although, it made him wonder why one of Y/N’s best friends invited him when she was aware of what happened between them. Surely, there was no way that Kora would invite Y/N, Harry, and Camille to the same crowded space, would she?

The sudden nervousness swirling at the pit of his stomach came with a quick neck as Harry scanned each premise of the bar. It was difficult considering the dim lighting and endless amounts of heads moving against each other. He hoped to see Y/N; just to see how she was doing! But he also felt like puking the alcohol he consumed because--as much as he wanted to admit it or not--he missed her.

After a half-hour of being vigilant, Harry willed himself to relax by the counter. Leaning one elbow on the wood as he spoke to another person regarding his upcoming album.

‘Yeah, yeah. It’s goin’. ‘M really excited for it cause’ I’ve got a lot of inspiration for some reason,” Harry answered with unyielding precision.

“We both know where that came fro--Oh hi! Sorry, H. Gotta check in on, Johnny,”

He rolled his eyes under closed lids, sipping on his drink, eyeing Kora when he heard a quip of Y/N’s name. Harry inconspicuously moved closer to her, making sure that he didn’t catch her attention.

“You’re not here,” Kora yelled with a whine to her tone. Her drunk self was still coherent enough to embark on the bartender to make another drink for her. However, Harry guessed that her senses were obscured with the way she yelled through the phone despite it being held to her ear and the function tapped to ‘speaker’.

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise to make it up to you, Kora,” Y/N’s gentle chuckle rumbled through the speaker, making Harry smile. It was the first time he heard it in a while. He sometimes wondered if he had the right to feel relieved when Harry was the one that blocked her number in the first place.

“It’s my birthday! Why aren’t you here drinking with us?” Kora quietly thanked the bartender.

Harry’s curiosity spiked; why wasn’t Y/N here tonight?

“It’s because I’m pregnant, silly. Can’t really do that when I’ve got a bubba in my tummy,” Both women giggled, Kora, making a sound of acknowledgement, “Ohhh right!”

He really wished that he would have stuck by long enough to hear more of their conversation but Kora’s boyfriend was approaching her and he wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything if he was honest.

She moved on fast, Harry thought. He was definitely sounding like an entitled jerk. Hear him out though; Harry was happy with Camille. Yes, he had been cheating on Y/N for a whole year and yes, she had to find out through a letter but Y/N was pregnant.

Did she really move on that quickly?

___

Despite the guilt gnawing at her for missing her best friend Kora’s birthday, Y/N was also looking forward to getting some sleep. It was a couple of hours after their phone call together when the nauseating tightening of Y/N’s chest woke again and had been for the past three days.

It was a horrible feeling that spread from the confines of her stomach. The bile rising up from her throat that left a burning feeling from the acids that escaped her mouth as she quickly threw the covers away from her legs, running towards the direction of her bathroom where she emptied the remnants of her stomach from last night’s craving of pickles and hot Cheetos. Her chest heaved with exertion as she draped her arms over the white porcelain of the disinfected toilet, hunching over as her stomach seemingly pumped away toxins.

Y/N wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, visibly shuddering as she pointed a finger to flush the toilet. She had a feeling that she won’t be getting any more sleep despite the time being three o’clock in the morning. Halo was insistent on staying up past normal bedtime hours. Y/N sighed, walking lethargically towards the dresser to retrieve her phone before heading to the living room nearby.

Y/N: You up, doc?

The blue loading bar swooped to the right as Y/N sent a message to Connor. She was at the peak of her pregnancy and her due date was occurring within a few weeks. A lot had changed since the day she found out the gender of her baby. Between the emotional trauma of having been broken up with--the hard-hitting fact was that Y/N was pushed into a direction of pregnancy that wasn’t exactly her ideal path. She pretty much preferred the dream-like sequence of having Harry accompanying her to her ultrasounds.

Just as Y/N was about to delve into another imaginary scenario of Harry sending her cute baby onesies that he would absolutely need to purchase for their little one, the humming of her phone pulled her from drowning in pathetic wishes and desires.

Connor: What’s up, Y/N?

She jutted her lips as she typed out a response. Contemplating whether or not to send the message as Y/N’s thumb hovered over the arrow, she paused to wonder why she was feeling so guilty in texting another man months and antecedent her break up with Harry. He was happy with someone else, yet Y/N felt as if her feet were planted in a puddle of sticky glue; unable to move on from the life she built in her head. Although it hurt to admit that Harry only existed in her memories now, reminiscing the spoken words they have discussed was another stab to her already bruised heart.

Y/N: Halo’s keeping me up again..

Connor: Want me to come over?

To keep you company

The reply was instantaneous and she could not deny the flutter of her heart beating subtly despite the extremities it had endured. And Y/N couldn’t help but notice the jitter of her baby bump morphing a plump bulge where Halo had kicked it as if it was a stamp of approval of the man coming over.

It wasn’t the first time that Connor drove to her place at the brink of dawn to keep her company in case the sickness became too much for Y/N to handle. The first time was simply a desperate action because she was rattled by the sudden spike in dizziness and incoherence of her sickness that Y/N wasn’t confident in herself to handle it alone. Times after that were more for his comfort when Connor said that he would ‘rather be safe than sorry’ while he rubbed his palm up and down her back.

Minutes later, a knock on her door sounded, forcing Y/N to haul her plump body to the comfort of the sofa, pausing the rerun of a television show. She waddled towards the entrance, the fit of her pyjama waistband snuggly wrapping around her mid-belly. A stretch of skin exposed between her bottoms and her tank top.

“Hi, thank you for coming,” Y/N greeted shyly, widening the door to let Connor in as he chuckled, toeing off his shoes by the closet door.

He waved her off, “It’s no problem, really,” Connor assisted her back to her couch, aiding her by letting his hands stabilize in the air in case anything happened.

The moment their bottoms hit the cushions did Y/N realize the gravity of the guilt spiralling in her chest. Connor laughed softly, his back resting on the couch with his right arm resting on the top, fingertips barely brushing over her shoulder. He reached over the coffee table to obtain the bowl of freshly popped popcorn, picking one to munch on but not before looking over at Y/N.

“Want some?”

She snapped out of her daze, cheeks heating profusely at being caught blatantly staring at how Connor fit naturally into her home both physically and metaphorically. He couldn’t have appeared at a better time when Y/N not only needed medical assistance and a support group by her side. However, she asked herself if he could be anything more than a friend. She shook her head ‘no’.

“No thanks. I’m quite full,” Y/N pressed a palm to her belly when a kick halted her breath. ‘Okay maybe a little,” She rolled her eyes, scolding Halo. “She’s a hungry one,”

“I’m gonna pop some more popcorn, kay? Be right back,”

Y/N heaved a sigh, watching Connor’s retrieving figure. Her admiration was cut off by the ringing of her phone.

___

Harry wasn’t so sober when he opened the door to his car. He wasn’t in his right mind either when he unblocked Y/N’s number and tapped on her name, switching the screen as it rang. He threw his head back against the headrest, biting his lip when the dial tone rang and rang.

“Hello?”

Harry’s breath hitched, losing his voice momentarily before his slowed brain caught up to move his tongue.

“Y/N? It’s Harry,” He spoke quietly, “Don’t hang up. Hear me out,” His ears stretched to pick up the click of a dropped call but he didn’t hear any.

“Heard from Kora that y’were pregnant, yeah? And I was wondering, whose is it?” The venom in his voice dripped. His drunken stupor rendered him unable to grasp reality.

“I’m not answering that,” Y/N’s tone was firm and direct. Harry could imagine her pursing her lips inwards.

“Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?” The parking lot was filled with cars yet Harry could see that he was the only one currently occupying one. If there was a better metaphor of feeling alone in a crowded place; then he would love to hear it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Harry? You cheated on me! You slept with another woman while we were together. You loved another woman while we were together. For an entire year, you lied to me and deceived me,”

“Jus’. . .answer the question,” He pinched his nose bridge, a headache pounding from the bottom of his skull.

“How dare you speak to me this way? You have no right calling me up out of nowhere,” Y/N lowered the volume of her voice, “and asking all these ridiculous questions,”

“S’not ridiculous,”

She gave a smile to Connor who entered the room with a bowl of delicious smelling popcorn. Y/N clutched the phone to her chest. Connor situated his body beside her with a glimmering smile, his mouth twitching as he eyed her bump, “Can I talk to her?” A gentle question breezed past his lips, moving closer when Y/N gave him approval.

The man kneeled down on the floor, leaning his head downwards to speak to Halo, “Hey little one, y’gotta be nice to momma, okay?” His fingers waved when her feet kicked out. Connor looked up to Y/N with a proud smile, “Did you see that? She responded!”

___

Harry felt his heart clench as a new voice filled the speakers. His neurons were fried with each thought firing endlessly, “Who’s that?

“Don’t call me again,”

The dial tone rung in his ears, echoing in the quiet space of his Range Rover.

___

Pressing the power button for a few seconds, the device turned black and was left on the arm of the couch. The excitement in Connor’s voice brought a dreamy smile to Y/N’s face, chewing on some popcorn. The beating of her heart seemed to double at the sight of him being so thrilled with her baby.

“We can’t wait to see you. I bet you’re gorgeous,” Connor dropped his volume to a whisper to prevent Y/N from hearing, ‘’Like your mom,”

Y/N’s relaxed and comfortable state of mind mindlessly worked her hands to thread the hair on top of Connor’s head. Just like she used to do to Harry. Her expression dimmed at the thought, painting a faint simper when Connor looked at her in surprise before shrugging it off, continuing to talk to her bump. She shivered when a warm pair of lips attached to the skin of her stomach. Gentle pressure planting a kiss as Connor said his goodbyes to baby Halo.

“She’s a smart one, that much I can tell,” He confirmed, moulding his body to the lingering shape he had left behind in his previous position. And Y/N was flustered to say that she might have scooched a little closer to his body, snuggling her head at the junction of his shoulder.

“Can I?” She asked, doe eyes raising a question that would allow them to cross the boundary they had limited themselves to. He nodded reflexively as if he was awaiting this moment. Connor took the initiative to pull Y/N closer to him, subconsciously kissing the top of her head. The scent of the woman’s shampoo wafting through his nose and invading his senses in a sweet smell that he would gladly immerse himself to.

It was the most pleasant feeling for Y/N to completely let go of her former worries about starting anew when Connor was as cozy as a heater. He made Y/N feel safe and secure with his body shielding her and his actions hinting at a subdued attraction he hadn’t fully shown to her.

And Connor was proud of himself for not quite literally freaking out when Y/N smothered her face to his chest as time passed and the sun rays filtered through the blinds as she fell asleep. Her words mumbled in a jumbled mess about how she wished that morning sickness wasn’t called morning sickness.

It wasn’t totally accurate, she complained. She thought that it was a misleading name; catfishing perhaps. He had chuckled in response, tracing his fingers up and down her arm and feeling goosebumps rise on her skin.

The orange hue of the bright star painting the sky lighter and lighter until the pitch-black sight morphed into a mixture of shades that could only be described as beautifully grandiose--just like Y/N’s sleeping face when the sun casts a shadow to highlight her nose, scrunching with the slight graze of the back of Connor’s finger rubbing the tip. Or the way the luminescence caressed the apples of her cheeks where her lashes rested, mouth puffing breaths of air as she allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in months.

___

A heavy feeling had settled into Harry's chest after Y/N hung up the phone. The new voice he had heard had unmistakably been a man's. Who was he? Was Y/N having that man's baby?

Before he could help it, Harry was seething. He saw red, and if he were in a children's movie there would be steam coming out of his ears right about now. How dare she move on so fast? How could she have a baby with another man so soon? But when he thought about it; Harry couldn't even recall how long it had been since they'd broken up. It made him feel somewhat guilty. He hadn't meant to forget her. It had just happened.

His guilt soon manifested into frustration-- her being pregnant was a constant reminder that she had moved on with another man. Insecurity clawed at his insides- did he really mean that little to her? 'You cheated on her', his conscience pricked, but he brushed away the thought. He hated being reminded of his infidelity to his fiancée.

His defence mechanism kicked in like clockwork, using aggression to shield his insecurities. He opened his messages app and clicked her contact, typing drunkenly.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*'

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet youu did'

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck u'

He smiled smugly at his phone screen, satisfied with what he had sent her. He shut his phone off, and started his car, ready to drive back home. He knew he was being irresponsible, but between his current girlfriend not wanting a child and his ex being pregnant with one; he couldn't bring himself to care. He drove himself home, only to find a terribly worried Camille waiting for him to arrive.

He glanced at the huge clock on the wall behind her. 1:32 am. He shrugged his shoulders and brushed past her to their bedroom. In his drunken gait, he knocked over a metal tray. The loud 'clang' made him hiss and clutch his temples, a headache pounding in his skull.

Camille sighed and made her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and muttering a "come here, H" Despite his sour mood, he found himself craving affection. What he wouldn't admit was that he didn't crave Camille's affection in particular. He just wanted to be held and feel safe in someone's arms. Anyone's arms. But despite himself, he mumbled, "m'sorry I left like tha'. Should'nt 've spoken to ya that way,"

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "It's okay, Harry, you're back home now. C'mon, let's get you changed and then let's sleep."

He bobbed his head up and down, willingly letting her drag him up the stairs to their shared bedroom, "Love ya,” Camille helped him out of his trousers.

She smiled softly, "Love you too, mon Cheri,” He giggled drunkenly at the showcase of her accent.

___

Harry woke up with a pounding headache, whining as his alarm rang at eight am in the morning. He opened his eyes to see that Camille wasn't in bed with him. His lips fell into a pout because of waking up alone.

There was a note on the bedside table.

'got called in for an emergency meeting for the show next week. be home by 5pm. love you!'

He sighed and reached for the glass of water she had left him. His brows furrowed when he didn't see Ibuprofen next to the water. Y/N left him ibuprofen beside the glass of water. Always. Harry snapped himself out of his daze, reprimanding himself for even thinking about her. Why is he thinking about her?

After a hot shower, Harry made his way downstairs to make himself breakfast. 'Eggs and toast', he thought. Placing 2 eggs in water and setting it on the stove before loading the toaster. He looked mindlessly through the drinks in the fridge, settling on 'Organic Orange Juice'. Y/N had introduced him to this particular brand after he had complained that all the others had too much sugar to be 'healthy'.

___

"This has no added sugar, H," she mentioned, "They sweeten it with honey."

___

Harry groaned, snapping himself out of the daydream, ashamed for thinking about his ex. Again.

He placed his breakfast on a plate and poured himself a glass of juice, sitting at the dining table alone. He chewed slowly with a mouthful as he unlocked his phone, beginning to go through his notifications.

Camille sent him a text. It was a selfie of her at her meeting, smiling and holding up a peace sign. He mirrored the expression, sending a text back

Harry: "stop being so cute"

He clicked the ‘back’ icon.

The second he does, his heart positively skips a beat. Not in a good way, either. Y/N's contact was just below Camille's, suddenly remembering the nasty things he had texted her the previous night.

"Fuck," He whispered under his breath, opening her contact. 'Read' was plastered under the messages he had sent. Y/N had seen them.

Connor had left a few hours later because he had morning rounds at the clinic the next day. Y/N had bid him goodbye with a shy kiss to the corner of his mouth,

“Thanks for coming, C,"

He smiled and pulled her into an embrace "Anytime, angel," into her hair. A warmth spread through her chest--one that she hadn’t felt in a long while.

After Connor drove off (with a final wave from his car window, of course), Y/N walked back in to settle on her couch again. Halo kicked a few times as she sat down, making Y/N squirm and giggle.

"Hi, you little goose! What's got you all excited, hm?" She rubbed over the area where Y/N felt the kick. As if, in response to her mother's voice, baby Halo kicked out again, right where Y/N's palm was. "Are you trying to high-five me, precious girl?"

Y/N cooed at her swelling tummy, a huge smile plastered across her face. "Or are ya just excited about Connor coming over to spend time with us? Got a good feeling about him, have you?"

She feels a gentle kick, it was almost as if the baby in her tummy wanted to say 'yes'. Y/N hummed softly, caressing her tummy, "Me too, angel. I've got a good feeling about him, too."

A few minutes later, Y/N reboots her phone her previously switched off phone so that she could see if Connor had texted her. He had.

C: Thanks for letting me spend time with you and Halo tonight. I loved it. I have a bit of time off on Sunday, do you want to get Pizza?'

Her eyes gleamed, but she hesitated for just a second. Connor had texted her. But so had Harry. He had sent her five messages, and Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to see what he had to say.

She wanted to make sure before texting Connor back. Y/N was not sure what she was expecting or hoping for, but what she saw was certainly not it.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*',

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet you did

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck you'

She felt tears stinging her eyes, cursing at the pregnancy hormones that have gotten her feeling this emotional about drunk texts from her ex. Her body ignited with fury quicker than she realized she could. Y/N doesn't hesitate to click the 'block' button to his contact.

She didn't need a man like him around her or her baby. Or her potential boyfriend.

Y/N: 'Hiya!,'

'it was great having you over, and I'd love to hang out! Down for pizza anytime. Halo loves it too :P'

The reply was instantaneous

C: 'Great!'

'See you Sunday, then! What are your favourite toppings?"

Y/N smiled brightly, finding his curiosity incredibly endearing. She typed back a response, gleaming with joy at the fact that she finally had someone she could rely on.

___

"Fuck. fuck fuck fuck," Harry repeated, clicking the call button to Y/N's contact. He needed to apologize. Desperately. He needed her to know that he didn't mean any of those things; he was just drunk. Not that that was an excuse.

'The number you are trying to reach is not in service', an automated voice said.

Harry groaned in frustration, opening her message contact, typing out;

Harry: "I'm so sorry, I don't know what had gotten into me. I was drunk. I'm very sorry, Y/N xx H."

He took a bite out of his toast before looking back at his screen to see if she had read the message yet. He almost wished he hadn't. Harry’s heart plummeted. His chest constricted as tears stung at the back of his eyes. Throwing up the meal he just scarfed sounded like an option right now.

A flaming red exclamation mark met his startled glance, and his chest heaved as he read,

'Not delivered,'

___

As usual, let us know what you thought!

Reign aka pt3 is already up on Patreon (link in bio!)

Reign will be uploaded on Tumblr on Monday, August 31. ___

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maeve-ho · 3 years

Text

[ AMBER MIDTHUNDER, TWENTY FOUR, SHE/HER ] - Have you seen [ MAEVE HO ]lately? From what I’ve heard, they’re a [ CIS FEMALE ] [ FAE ]. People around town have said that they’re [ RESILIENT, INTELLIGENT, ADAPTABLE ] but also [ SKITTISH, IRRITABLE, IMPATIENT ]. Rumor has it, they’re [ FOR ] rebuilding the glamour around Halloweentown.

THE BASICS;

FULL NAME: Maeve Niamh Ho

NICKNAMES: Mae, Maevie

GENDER: Cis Female

PRONOUNS: She/ Her

BIRTHDAY/AGE: November 1st

HOMETOWN: Portland, Oregon

OCCUPATION: Unumployeed

SPECIES: Fae

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

PERSONALITY;

POSITIVES: Resilient, intelligent, adaptable

NEGATIVES: Skittish, irritable, impatient

ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio

PERSONALITY TYPE: INTP-T

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin

FAMILY;

MOTHER: Leia Ho

FATHER: Connor Ho (Nee. O’Sullivan)

SIBLINGS: Seamus Ho and Rois Ho

BREIF OVERVIEW;

Disordered Eating Mention

All it took was a youthful promise to change the course of Maeve’s life. Promise you’ll eat when I ask you to. A silly promise, one she made to a boyfriend who seemed to think that a promise was enough to force her disordered eating out. It had seemed like nothing to smile and lie, pretty teeth flashing as she repeated the words, “I promise I’ll eat when you ask me to.” She had known it was a mistake then when his baby soft face turned sharp enough to cut.

“Do you know what the Fae Folk are, Maevie?” And suddenly her irish grandmother’s warnings on promises and name stealing bounced through her skull, cracking the veneer of control she felt she had. She was bound now, tricked into a promise with someone claiming to be fae. Maeve was superstitious enough not to attempt to break her promise.

So she ate when he asked and it felt almost okay for a moment, even if she had been tricked body and soul into force rehabilitation. She never forgave him, never forgot the power of his words, but at least she had been lulled into a sense of relaxation, he had never tried to trick her again. Or she had thought until she saw that smile again, nearly a year later when he used his promise to make her eat something he brought her.

Human to fae she passed. The world tilted, her control gone, introduction to something sharp and different in the hands of the man who changed her. He was kinder to her now that she was not human, but his pleasure dwindled and soon he became bored. There was a mixture of relief and horror that washed through her as he told her his plan to drop her off somewhere she could learn the world. She wouldn’t be tethered to him any longer, beholden to his lessons on the world, but she would be alone.

FACTS;

Maeve has literally just been dropped off in town, without a place to stay or a job. She considered trying to survive in the world without finding any fae to help her, but she’s terrified of the harm that she could potentially do with her newfound status

She was working as a dog groomer in Raleigh, North Carolina while finishing her degree in music production, she did not finish it.

Maeve moved away from Portland, Oregon at nineteen and left behind her family. They still talk constantly, but her sudden change in species has had her pulling away from them

Her father was adopted into an Irish family and so Maeve grew up hearing all about Irish mythology and irish fae; this partly contributes to her general fear of what she’s become

Though she is terrified of the situation she had been placed in, she refuses to let this keep her down for too long, if only to spite the fae who turned her

#halloweentownhqintro #disordered eating tw

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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THE GOLDEN TOUCH

January 17, 1951

“The Golden Touch" is a modern re-telling of the King Midas story with Jack Benny and his friends as King Midas and his court. It was directed by Robert F. Mansfield, written by Robert Hugh O’Sullivan and with Harry Zimmerman as the composer / conductor.

“Family Theater” was a weekly half-hour dramatic anthology radio program which aired on the Mutual Broadcasting System (MBS) from February 13, 1947, to September 11, 1957. The show was produced by Family Theater Productions, a film and radio studio extension of the Family Rosary Crusade founded by Father Patrick Peyton as a way to promote family prayer. The motto of the the Holy Cross Family Ministries is, "The family that prays together, stays together."

Although the program had no commercial sponsor, Father Peyton arranged for many of Hollywood's biggest stars to appear including James Stewart, Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, Raymond Burr, Jane Wyatt, Charlton Heston, Bing Crosby, Jack Benny, Gene Kelly, William Shatner, and Chuck Connors.

A total of 540 episodes were produced. The program featured not only religious stories but half-hour adaptations of literary works such as A Tale of Two Cities, Moby-Dick and Don Quixote.

Synopsis ~ Lucille Ball is the hostess and Jack Benny stars as the King obsessed with his gold and counting it. The Queen and her daughter get a Genie to sort the King out. The Genie grants the King one wish and the King tells the Genie that he can always use more gold and asks that everything he touches will turn to gold. Of course this seems exciting at first until he turns the Queen and his daughter in to solid gold.

The program was repeated on May 23, 1951.

King Midas is popularly remembered in Greek mythology for his ability to turn everything he touched into gold. This came to be called the golden touch, or the Midas touch.

CAST

Jack Benny (King Midas) was born on Valentine’s Day 1894. He had a successful vaudeville career, and an even greater career on radio with “The Jack Benny Program” which also became a successful television show. His screen persona was known for being a penny-pincher and playing the violin. Benny was a Beverly Hills neighbor of Lucille Ball’s and the two were off-screen friends. Benny appeared on “The Lucy Show” as Harry Tuttle (a Jack Benny doppelganger) in “Lucy and the Plumber” (TLS S3;E2), later did a voice over cameo as himself in “Lucy With George Burns” (TLS S5;E1), and played himself in “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” (TLS S6;E6). He was seen in four episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Benny and Ball appeared on many TV variety and award shows together. He died in 1974, a few weeks after taping “An All-Star Party for Lucille Ball.”

Lucille Ball (Hostess) was concurrently starring in her own radio comedy “My Favorite Husband” having starred in films from 1933. In the fall of 1951, Ball and her husband Desi Arnaz launched their iconic television series, “I Love Lucy.” After her divorce from Arnaz in 1960, Ball starred in two subsequent television series’ - “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy.” After a series of TV specials, she did one more series in 1986, which was not successful. She died in 1989.

Ted de Corsia (Harvey Benson, Reporter from The Daily Telegram) was an actor in touring companies and on radio before making a memorable film debut as the killer in The Lady from Shanghai (1947). De Corsia's New York street demeanor and gravelly voice assured him steady work playing street thugs, gang leaders or organized-crime bosses. On radio he starred in the CBS series "Pursuit" (1949-50). Two years before he was heard on an episode of “My Favorite Husband” with Lucille Ball.

Barbara Eiler (Princess Imogene) started acting as a teenager and appeared regularly on the radio programs “The Life of Riley,” “A Day in the Life of Dennis Day,” “The Fabulous Dr. Tweedy” and “Glamor Manor." She did a 1948 episode of “My Favorite Husband” with Lucille Ball.

Eleanor Audley (Queen Midas) played Lucille Ball’s mother-in-law on “My Favorite Husband.” She would later play Eleanor Spalding, owner of the Westport home the Ricardos buy in “Lucy Wants To Move to the Country” (ILL S6;E15) in 1957, as well as one of the Garden Club judges in “Lucy Raises Tulips” (ILL S6;E26).

Alan Reed (Matthew the Butler / Tony the Cook) is probably best remembered as the voice of Fred Flintstone. He started his acting career in 1937. He acted opposite Lucille Ball in a 1963 episode of “The Lucy Show” (ILL S1;E25). In 1967, he made an appearance on the Desi Arnaz series “The Mothers-in-Law”. He died in 1977 at the age of 69.

Reed uses an English accent as Matthew and an Italian accent as Tony.

Verna Felton (Molly, Kitchen Help) received two Emmy nominations for her role in the Desilu series “December Bride,” playing Hilda Crocker from 1955 to 1959. She did two episodes of “I Love Lucy,” including playing Lucy’s stern maid, Mrs. Porter. Felton voiced many characters for Disney.

Felton uses an Irish accent as Molly.

Howard McNear (Ipsuda, Magician) played Mr. Crawford, Little Ricky’s music teacher on “I Love Lucy.” McNear went on to play Floyd the Barber on “The Andy Griffith Show” from 1961 to 1967, filmed on the Desilu backlot. He was also seen in Lucy and Desi’s 1953 film The Long, Long Trailer.

Frank Nelson (Genie / Mr. Gene Blue) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.” On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.” Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.

Howard Culver (Jake Workman, Ice Man) was best known as hotel clerk Howie Uzzell during the entire run of TV's “Gunsmoke.” On radio he starred in the title role of the Western adventure series “Straight Arrow” which aired on Mutual from 1948 to 1951.

Tony La Frano (Announcer) was the regular announcer for “Music Depreciation” (1945) and every episode of “Family Theatre” (1947-1957).

EPISODE

Hostess Lucille Ball introduces the show, which was broadcast in front of a live audience. Lucille urges listeners to pray together as a family. She then introduces Jack Benny as the King, to great fanfare.

Instead of Benny, the show opens with Imogene on the telephone of a busy office in the Kingdom of Midas. Harvey Benson, an American reporter, arrives to see the Queen, who thinks he is there for money, but he wants the story of something that happened there recently. She tells the story in flashback...

A month ago, King Midas is at breakfast with his family. Imogene complains about having cornmeal mush for breakfast again, but Midas reasons that they have a 752 pounds of corn (thanks to the foresight of his father), so they must eat it!

Matthew, King Midas’ butler, suddenly quits after 32 years! He is tired of carrying the King’s gold. He is also tired of the mush. Because of an ancient decree, the help must eat whatever the King eats.

Imogene and the Queen insist King Midas counts his money too much - 80 million dollars a day! Once the King is gone, the Queen sends Imogene on a mission to see a magician named Ipusda to buy a genie.

At Ipsuda’s shop, Imogene has her pick of genies - even ones vacuum packed in cans (only for tourists)! She buys the blue bottle special for 5 gold pieces - plus a small deposit on the bottle! Imogene brings the magic blue bottle back to the Queen, who says the magic words: “Genie out and at attention! Do the chores which I will mention!” The giggling Genie immediately appears, talking in rhyme, very amused at his own cleverness. They promise the Genie his freedom if he does as bid. The Queen whispers the orders to the Genie, without letting Imogene know.

Next morning, Imogene and the Queen introduce Midas to his new servant - the Genie! At their bidding, he conjures up bacon and eggs. Midas hates the Genie’s rhyming. He asks Midas what one wish he wants more than anything else in the world. Naturally, he wants more gold.

The Genie grants him with the skill to turn everything he touches to gold! The Genie pops back into the bottle. Imogene notices his utensils have turned to gold - then his eggs - then his coffee.

Before he can stop himself, he turns his own daughter to gold! Midas demands the Queen bring the Genie back, but she refuses and storms off.

Midas hears the kitchen servants Tony and Molly arguing in the next room. Tony goes to shake his hand, but he turns to gold! He touches Molly and she, too, turns to gold.

The ice man arrives and sees the two golden servants. Signing for the ice, the King tries to give him the golden pencil as a tip! Midas explains his problem - everything he touches turns to gold. Jake is about to phone his brother-in-law, Ipsuda, but when he learns that it was the work of a genie, he hangs up. All they can do is wait for the Queen to return to get the Genie out of the bottle!

Time passes and Jake reveals that the King is not as highly regarded in the Kingdom as he thinks. The King admits to being money mad. Midas decides to start giving his money away - starting now!

The Queen arrives and she Midas admits that he never wants to see gold again as long as he lives. After accidentally turning Jake to gold during a hug, the Queen summons the Genie to change the King back - in return for his freedom and a good job. The Genie removes the curse.

Flash forward to the Queen’s interview with newspaper reporter Harvey Benson. Mr. Gene Blue, the president of the relief organization, enters. He makes a joke about his name sounding like “Benson Burners.” He laughs hysterically as the music swells.

Lucille Ball closes the show by asking if the audience knows how Hedda Hopper makes a hat, comparing it to how scientists make a concoction out of ordinary things to create something incredible: jewels out of sawdust, perfume out of coal tar, medicine out of weeds or mold. She says the power of prayer, just like the ordinary things that create something magical, are there all the time, but must be used to get benefits: the jewel of a happy home life, the perfume of uplifted hearts, medicine for a sick world.

LUCILLE BALL: “The family that prays together, stays together.”

Announcer Tony Lo Frano reads the credits and says that next week’s program Walter Brennan and Bette Lynn in “A Star for Helen” with the honorable Frank Walker as host.

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