how console and mobile girlies are feeling seeing PC players get the new Stardew Valley update
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No, Pac-Kong isn't a clever mix of Pac-Man and Donkey Kong; it stands as one of the worst rip-offs of the latter that I've ever played, by a considerable margin. Even after all these years, the meaning behind the "pac" in the title remains a mystery to me. While forgiving the simplistic graphics — expected for an Atari 2600 game, the console's charm lays in its titles' gameplay, not in their visual appeal - the evident deficiencies in this game are inexcusable..
At the apex of the tower lurks an Octopus (though it resembles more a giant yellow bat) hurling bananas (or bat-like creatures) at our hero. Dodging these bats or airborne bananas presents a challenge; they never cease movement and sway in a manner that makes you struggle to discern when you've been hit until you lose a life - The feeling of "it wasn't even close" prevails often.
The most infuriating aspect emerges when jumping between platforms separated by gaping chasms. Precise timing is imperative; pressing the button when our hero's last foot grazes the platform's edge is the only way forward. It's an exasperating exercise, leading to countless instances where apparent success is swiftly followed by a plummet to failure.
Somehow, I managed to clear the first loop (just two stages) without any deaths, but the sheer frustration led me to opt-out. Continuing seemed pointless unless I was seeking a nervous breakdown.
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I'm trying to figure out what she's thinking...
"But Honey, weren't we supposed to f*** tonight ?"
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cozy sunday
— i finally don’t hate my console setup tho id like to add lights behind my tv 🤎🧡
photo is mine // ig: thecozybimbo
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173. Mattel Electronics - Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Cloudy Mountain (1982)
The first AD&D console game, Cloudy Mountain tries, somewhat successfully, to capture the spirit of D&D. In this game for the Mattel console Intellivision you play as three adventurers, which are all basically the same guy, it just counts as three lives, as you attempt to win the Crown of Kings from the Cloudy Mountain.
You star off outside a mountain range, armed with three arrows and a bow and you have to enter increasingly more difficult mountain dungeons to get an axe which allows you to move through the forest, a boat that allows you to cross the river and a key that allows you to open the gate to the cloudy mountain in which dungeon you can finally retrieve the two pieces of the Crown and win the game. As you go along you also get quivers which give you more arrows to fight monsters with.
Rudimentary by today's standards, the game does capture the idea of plot advancement and dungeon crawling, with its randomized maps that are only revealed through exploration that were common to many of the simplest D&D adventures. With some neat sound design and streamlined controls this is a pretty fun game. You can find someone on YouTube (Winslinator) finishing it to 100% completion in under 2 minutes... try doing that with Baldur's Gate III!
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Berzerk for the Atari 2600, 1982
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