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#constantly bombard yourself with positive things and positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people
sixdegreesofbali · 3 months
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This is a post that's more for myself than anything. It's a little reminder to myself of what I'd like to achieve from next year on.
It's a pretty cliche list, but I genuinely think these are probably the most important things I can do for myself to become more mentally and physically healthy and to help me enjoy life more.
Less screen time and 'data intake' Something that I've been noticing more and more, especially this year, is how unfocussed and also easily irritable I've become. I have a really hard time concentrating on anything these days and it even causes me to make more mistakes at work. I know a lot of that has to do with the amount of time I spend online and how easily distracted I get. Especially by the toxicity that surrounds F1 at all times. Which is why I've already made a great step yesterday by deleting my Twitter account. No need to look at people's shitty opinions all day long. It's not healthy to be bombarded with everyone's opinions on everything 24/7. Though I also think this is a general problem in today's society. People being less focussed due constantly being bombarded with content and data everywhere: social media, Netflix, podcasts, music and even books. These days the brain never, ever seems to get a moment to just rest and is constantly overloaded with data. We hardly ever get any time alone with our thoughts. Which is something that I hope to change next year.
Going out and experiencing more This kind of also has to do with the first point. Instead of being behind a screen all day, I want to go out and experience more. And it can just be small things like driving to the beach (which is something I looove to do), going to the forest (so good for your mental health), exploring more sides of my own country that I haven't seen before. Sometimes I forget that even my own little country still has some beautiful places that I've never been to before. And don't wait on other people to go with you. If there isn't anyone to go with you, just go by yourself. Don't limit yourself from experiencing things because you're too afraid or uncomfortable to do them by yourself.
Getting in shape Yes, the most cliche one of them all. Getting in shape. I'm not someone who you can tell that I'm out of shape when you see me in my clothes, because I'm naturally skinny, but boy oh boy am I out of shape. I honestly barely get any exercise at all these days and it's become noticeable when I climb the stairs to my apartment or even when I take a walk. I really, really need to start excising again. But I also hope that my second point will help with that as well.
Being financially stable I think being stable financially is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. I've seen what financial stress can do to people and it's soul crushing. No, money might not make you happy perse, but not having it is a position that I never want to be in. I've already gotten pretty good at taking care of my finances but sometimes I can feel myself slipping up. I don't want to be completely frugal to the point where I'm not experiencing life anymore (which I've kinda been doing the past few years), but I want to have a healthy balance between spending and saving. Having a good savings buffer is such a comfortable feeling and takes so much stress away.
Being a good person to the people around me Be attentive to how other people are feeling. Put your own feelings aside sometimes (not always) and just do what you can to make another person feel a little better and more appreciated. I think if I can achieve all of my previous points, it'll make me a person more capable of doing that.
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The Power of Positivity: Transforming Your Mindset for Better Mental Health
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In today's fast-paced and often stressful world, it can be easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and emotions. We are bombarded with negative news, comparison on social media, and the pressure to constantly achieve more. It's no wonder that mental health issues are on the rise. However, there is a powerful tool that can help combat these negative influences and improve our overall well-being – the power of positivity.
Positivity is not just about being happy all the time or ignoring the challenges and difficulties in life. It's about having a mindset that allows us to see the good in every situation, no matter how tough it may be. It's about focusing on the present moment and finding gratitude for what we have, rather than dwelling on what we lack.
The benefits of having a positive mindset are numerous, especially when it comes to our mental health. Research has shown that positivity can reduce stress and anxiety, improve our immune system, and even increase our lifespan. It can also help us build resilience and cope with difficult situations more effectively.
So, how can we harness the power of positivity and transform our mindset for better mental health? Here are a few tips to get you started:
1) Practice gratitude: Take a few moments each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. It could be something as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a supportive friend. By focusing on the good in our lives, we can shift our perspective and find more joy and contentment.
2) Surround yourself with positive people: We are greatly influenced by the people we spend time with. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting individuals who support and encourage you. Avoid those who constantly bring you down or drain your energy.
3) Challenge negative thoughts: We all have negative thoughts from time to time, but it's important to not let them consume us. When a negative thought arises, try to challenge it and find evidence to prove it wrong. This can help shift our mindset to a more positive one.
Also Read: Best Psychiatrist in Bhopal
4) Engage in self-care: Taking care of ourselves is crucial for our mental health. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing yoga. When we prioritize self-care, we are better equipped to handle life's challenges.
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sodadrabbles · 3 years
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Could you do a continuation of shy sisterinnit! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
Thank you again (๑˃ᴗ˂)✿
Y’all really liked SisterInnit- Don’t worry I do too. This was super fun to write! I also threw in a bit of SBI + Tubbo in there because awww I’m soft.
Paring: Tommy x sister!Reader
Rating: Fluffy with a mention of being overwhelmed (So I guess hurt/comfort fluff?)
Summary: Tommy takes his little sister to TwitchCon! This is a continuation of these headcanons!
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Little Sister Innit took the twitch chat by storm after you broke into Tommy’s room and took over his stream. Now, every stream Tommy would get a few donos asking about you- how you were doing, asking about your favorite flower. For a few streams, he even let you sit beside him, keeping you talking about your favorite things. Even Tubbo got to meet you, though it was through a discord call- and the boy loved it when you started talking about bees! 
You would take over Tommy’s streams when he had to do something, refusing to look at chat, and instead, you would ramble about some strange story. You would pop your head into the room and give Tommy a message and chat would lose their minds, or you’d even play with Tommy on your own little computer on the other side of the room, out of frame. It was the best compromise Tommy could reach with you- You wanted to play and be on stream, but chat scared you. When you tried to talk to chat, you would get very quiet and fidgety, afraid of all the people watching you. So, being out of sight and unable to see chat made you able to happily play with him when you wanted to.
As time went by, TwitchCon rolled around for another year, and Tommy was getting bombarded with questions of whether or not he would be going- Or if you’d be coming with him. It took a lot of begging to his parents and a long conversation with Phil, but finally, you got the go-ahead. One the condition that you stayed by Tommy or Phil the ENTIRE time. 
Phil, Techno, Will, and Tubbo were so happy to hear you’d be running around TwitchCon with your older brother. When the date rolled around, the four met with you and Tommy at the airport and practically suffocated you and your older brother in hugs. Well, except for Techno, who gave you an awkward pat on the back. You felt very comfortable around these four- like they were family already.
---
TwitchCon was interesting to you. Tommy, and even yourself, thought you’d be so rambunctious and happy, bouncing off the walls with energy to meet everyone! But as the convention dragged on, you found yourself more and more afraid to greet people, shake people’s hands, or be in pictures with your brother. The convention center was loud and packed with people, and even in the safety of the room meant for Partnered streamers, you felt overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar faces.
It took you hiding behind Phil with tears in your eyes, your brother busily signing something for a fan, for him to realize something was up. So, the blonde went over to the young brit, dragged him away from the pseudo-meet-and-greet, and forced him to talk to you. Figure out what was wrong.
Tommy, biting his tongue to prevent a swear from flying out of his mouth, gave Phil an angry glare. “Phil, what hel- heck! I was in the middle of something, you can’t just-”
“Tommy your sister is crying.”
The brit paused. He had been so caught up in talking with his fans, he hadn’t paused long enough to realize you hadn’t been with him. But when he looked past Phil, he saw you sat in the corner with tears rolling down your face. Your eyes were puffy and your chest heaved with hiccups and sobs. Just how long had you been like this? How could he not notice? How could he forget like that?
Phil gave the boy a disappointed shake of his head, pushing him towards you. “Go talk to her,” he murmured, “Clean up your mess.”
Tommy nodded and walked towards you, kneeling gently in front of you. You glanced up from your curled-in position, your arms resting on your knees where you once hid your face. It broke Tommy’s heart how upset you looked. “(Y/N), what wrong? Did- What happened?” he spoke carefully, keeping his voice well below his usual shout. He lifted a hand to pet your hair, which prompted you to look at him. His eyebrow slumped down in a look of concern, his eyes full of worry. “There’s too many people…” You mumble to him, wanting to hide your face again. Even when it’s just your big brother around, you felt so overwhelmed, so seen. You just want to curl into a tiny ball and roll away. Before you can say more, Tommy pulls you into him in a tight hug. It shocks you, but soon you slump against him, letting the tears fall again. “‘S too much, there’s so many people, I wanna go home.” You cry against your brother, who just holds you tight. He rubs your back as you cry. He’s cursing himself out in his head- He should’ve watched you better, should’ve seen this would happen. You were a little kid surrounded by so many new things, of course it was scary for you. 
“Do you want to go back to the hotel?” He released you and smiled, his classic toothy smile that always made you giggle, and wiped a stray tear from your face. You nodded at him, and he helped you to your feet. “We can watch Adventure Time and make Phil buy us ice cream.” His joke made you laugh. Slowly, you felt the eyes surrounding you close. It was just you and your big brother. Tommy called for Phil and asked him to take the two of you back to the hotel. Where Tommy sat with you and watched cartoons and made his stupid jokes.  
---
For the rest of the con, Tommy turned his Big Brother mode up to eleven. He was constantly checking up on you, telling you funny jokes, or making fun of Wilbur and Techno whenever he took breaks. He would have Tubbo take his job when he needed to do anything. You liked Tubbo too- He had the same sense of humor as your older brother and would talk with you about things like bees and fireworks. He once got into a heated argument with you about Gravity Falls, and whether or not the logic behind Mabel’s sweater was applicable to real life.
When it was time to go, everyone gave you the tightest hug they could- Even Technoblade gave you a real hug this time. You were excited to come to see them again next year.
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mediocre-writerr · 3 years
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always and tomorrow [jennifer jareau]
jennifer jareau x reader
requested: Hey! Could you do a JJ imagine where the reader is a famous author who an unsub is targeting but the team doesn't know that the reader is infact dating JJ? The reader is upset that she won't tell the team and thinks JJ is ashamed of her but it's all fluff once jj saves them from the unsub?
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*not my gif*
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth- Oscar Wilde
“Y/N?” you turned around from where you were standing.
You looked at the blonde girl who has invaded your heart, a smile grazing over your face. The rest of her team right behind her, “Guys, you know Y/N Y/L/N,” 
Hotch extended his hand out, “Yes we’ve met a couple times,” 
“Hello, Aaron,” you gave him a small nod, before sitting on the edge of the signing table for your new book, “To what do I owe the great pleasure of my favorite government team?”
“We think you’re being targeted,” Reid speaks up and you cross your arms over your chest and nod.
“The unsub is targeting people who look exactly like you, around the same age. And they have been using your quotes from your books, along with murdering them the same way your serial killer in your story has been doing,” Emily continued further explanation. 
You nodded, “So I’m assuming, I’m heading down to Quantico to stay protected,” All of them nodded, “Alright, but I’m expecting lunch,” 
Back at the bureau, the rest of the team was scouting for where the unsub may strike next, but JJ was talking to you in her office, to see if she could get any information. 
“So you have no idea who this could be,” the blonde asked and you shook your head.
“I’ve seen a lot of people at these book signings, none of them really screamed serial killer to me,” you explained and she looked stressed out. 
So you did what you always did when you were over at her house and she was stressed. You walked over to her and placed your hands on her cheeks, rubbing soothing circles on them. But she immediately pulled away and you let out a sigh, already knowing what this meant.
“You still haven’t told them?” you asked, dropping your hands down to your side.
“No, I haven’t found the right time,” she tried to make up some lousy excuse, usually you’d let it slide, but not today.
“The right time?! JJ, we’ve been dating for almost a year now! When will it ever be the right time?” you flailed your hands up in the air and she let out a sigh, “Look, I know your divorce with Will was rough and I know this is new to you, but if you’re so ashamed to the point where you won’t even tell your second family, then- I don’t know if I could do this much longer,” 
You start to walk out of her office, “Where are you going? You can’t leave!” she called out. 
“I just need air,” you told her before walking out of the bureau. 
The air was a bad idea because all of a sudden you couldn’t breathe. Not because you were so angry or because you were crying so much, but because someone threw a bag over your head and hit you out cold. 
“Where’s Y/N?” JJ asked, looking around the room. It had been quite some time since she went to get air.
As if on cue, Morgan comes running in, “I found her ID on the floor outside, I think the unsub has gotten to her,” JJ’s heart dropped, but she threw on her professional look as her and the team got to work. 
You awoke in a dark place which looked like a place ripped right out of your novel. The man was sitting there, patiently, reading over your infamous new book. 
“Oh good morning sleepy head,” he said with a cheerful smile on his face, “I love your new book!” 
You scrambled in fear, shaking your head, “Please, please don’t hurt me,” you begged.
“Sweetheart, why would I hurt you? I know how you feel about me and I feel the same way about you. We’re meant to be,” he told you, caressing your hair soothingly. 
“What makes you think that?” you asked him, trying to remember all the tips JJ would bombard you with when you went on a book tour and would run into creeps like this. 
He pulls out another book from his bookshelf, the familiar binding and cover of the first ever book you wrote, “Because you wrote this darling, don’t you remember?” 
To: Marcus
Spread love, always and forever
“So I’m spreading your love, no our love, to the rest of the world. By recreating all the iconic scenes in your book,” he told you and you shrunk in your seat. 
What have you done? 
JJ’s leg was bouncing up and down as they drove as quickly as possible to the unsub’s house. Emily and Derek picked up on it quickly. 
“Alright JJ, you’ve been bouncing your leg like you’re Reid about to participate in any sport, ever. What’s going on?” he asked. 
JJ let out a sniffle, “She said forever and I just pushed her away, I ran,” she mumbled, but it was clear as day. 
“Who said forever?” Emily asked. 
“Y/N, I’ve been in love with her for almost a year now. And I never told anyone and the last thing she thought of me was that I was ashamed of us,” she whispered. 
That’s all it took for Derek to step on the gas. 
Marcus Green, the unsub, was just sitting and reading the book to you. As you were tied up and the rope burned your wrists at the slightest movement. You heard the door bust open and he looked up from his seat.
“What was that?” he asked with his teeth gritted. He grabbed you from your seat, hiding underneath the staircase. A gun pointed at your head. 
You could hear soft patters, come down the stairs, and the unsub steps out from the shadows, clearing his throat. You could feel the gun shake in his hand, your eyes landed on JJ’s and you just shook your head.
“No,” you pleaded, but your cries were muffled by the rag he kept in your mouth. 
JJ turned with her gun pointed right at him. Her eyes slightly red and watery at the sight of you. You weren’t in too bad shape, but she never wanted to see you in this position. 
“Marcus Green, put the gun down,” she ordered and you heard more patters come down the stairs. The rest of the team had him surrounded. 
He shook his head, “No, we’re in love. You can’t take that away from me!” he yelled. 
“Look at her,” JJ said to him, “You’re hurting her,” 
“No, I’m not! Am I hurting you?” he asked and you looked at JJ who gave you a subtle nod. You nodded frantically, he looked taken aback by your answer, “I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry,”
“I know you don’t want to hurt her Marcus. So you’ve got to let her go,” she told him, “We don’t mean to hurt the one’s we love, but we do and it sucks. But at the end of the day deep down you both know your love for each other and that’s all that matters,” 
Marcus was fighting a constant battle in his head, crying to himself softly before letting you go. You automatically ran over towards where Spencer was and he immediately brought you upstairs to be checked by the paramedics. 
JJ quickly followed suit as Hotch arrested him. She ran up to where you were sitting at the edge of the ambulance. She looked at you with a smile before sitting down next to you. 
“She doesn’t have too bad of injuries, just a couple rope burns around her wrists and a concussion, but she’s fine,” the paramedic told JJ and she nodded thanking him. 
You rested your head on JJ’s shoulder before immediately retracting it, remembering that she doesn’t want anyone to know. But she intertwined your fingers together.
“Come back here,” she whispered. 
You placed your head back on the place you find yourself safest in, “Why didn’t you want to tell anyone?” you asked her. 
“Because it would’ve made it all the more real and I was scared. I mean my relationship with Will didn’t work out and everyone I’ve loved has either left or died. But I don’t want to love you afraid, constantly thinking that my heart’s gonna break. So if forever is just tomorrow, then tomorrow I’ll love you always,” she told you. 
You looked up at her with teary eyes and a small smile, before placing a kiss on her lips softly.
“When did that happen?” Spencer ask.
Rossi looked at him incredulously, “You’re a profiler and you had no idea?” he asked and Reid just looked at him confused. Rossi smacked the back of his head, “Idiots,” 
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angelnumber27 · 3 years
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Checking in! I know you've been having a hard time lately with physical and mental health. You don't need to answer this if you don't want to but youre going to be alright. Take care of yourself make sure you're taking meds if you need them. Stay safe okay!!!
Thank you sweet heart! I really appreciate you checking up 💓😇 Im doing much better today :) I finally got some sleep after two days and had a calm and good day 🤍🤍🧚🏻‍♂️💆🏻‍♀️🕊 I made some art, did a study on fungi and their shapes and did a lot of productive things like cleaning up and reading and writing :) my body is extremely sore like everywhere but I don’t mind as long as I’m not in full panic mode constantly. That happens occasionally. I take my meds exactly as prescribed every single day! I know myself and I know how important it is to be consistent with what I am putting in my body because my body is incredibly sensitive to changes, especially chemical ones. Therefore, its not withdrawal from medication, things would be much much MUCH worse if that was the case. I’m talking crying endlessly every waking minute and not being able to stop, calm down or self-soothe and suicidal ideation that I can’t shake, severe brain zaps every 2-5 minutes, feeling hot, nauseous, restless, sometimes I’ll get like muscle aches and spasms, and bad depression as well as all of my severe and unmanageable ocd symptoms immediately flooding back. Those rare times when I accidentally run out of medication or when I’m not able to take it for a few days for whatever reason, make me realize just how much my medication is helping and how much of a difference it makes. I’m like damn I must have felt SO horrible before I was prescribed.. or it’s likely that it wasn’t really that bad before but since my body is now used to receiving the medication every day it becomes that bad when I don’t take it for like 72 hours. Its kind of sad bc I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop taking it. Idk about anybody else but honestly I think I would rather take one little pill daily than experience awful constant panic, hysterical crying, deep fear and impending doom. It’s worth it for me. Of course everyone is different and the medication that has been life-changing for me could very well make the next person feel suicidal. Everybody has different brain chemistry and unfortunately it takes some trial and error to find what works for you but I think (depending on the situation ofc) it is worth it to give it a try. So sorry for rambling, that’s just how my mind works lol. I think of one thing and a million other things stem from that. I don’t know if people understand this but when I say I have racing thoughts I mean seriously RACING thoughts. Nonstop, super ‘loud’ and intrusive thoughts bombarding my brain from every angle that are very very difficult to turn off or soothe. Anyway all in all I am doing well and I am staying as safe as possible. I was thinking about it today and honestly considering my situation and everything I have been through, I am doing extremely well and I am incredibly healthy. For somebody in my position, with my trauma, having being stalked and harassed daily for the past four years by somebody who knows about my trauma, the false sense of loneliness, severe depression, panicky tendencies, unbridled stress, negative surroundings, patterns of thinking, memories of abuse and the ways that has taught me to view myself, as well as the various mental illnesses I am constantly combatting, I’m excelling all things considered lol.
If anybody actually read this this far thank you SO much you’re an angel and I appreciate you caring about me and my wellbeing more than you know. I really really hope everybody is having a beautiful day and that you are all in a position in life that is comfortable and safe.
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koocycle · 4 years
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hiii i’d like to request an angst + comforting fluff, like the OC has a hard time keeping old friendship and has like many doubts and worries and feels like a bad friend. basically an overthinker + emotionally sensitive OC. who among the boys could really fit for giving good advice and some comfort to the OC. could be romantic or platonic. bc i’m basically like that irl wew. it’s my first time opening up abt that.
adore u | jhs drabble
pairing; hoseok x reader
word count; 1,6k
genre; angst, fluff.
contains; bestfriend!hoseok, roommate!hoseok, sweet stuff, sad stuff :(
note; this drabble is based on some personal experiences,, being an overthinker nd emotionally sensitive person makes two of us :( it can be pretty hard sometimes but pls don’t!!!! keep it all to yourself sweet anon!!!! talk w someone if necessary, it can even be me!!
visit; my masterlist !
send me; your imagination right here and i’ll make it come true :) 
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You were never the kind of person to easily open up to new people, neither were you the kind of person to seek for any kind of social attention. Even when you were only a little child, engaging in conversations and interacting with others was something you definitely had to work on. After years of struggling with the idea of befriending new people and being an expected social butterfly, it didn’t seem to surprise you when people labeled you as ‘the quiet kid in the back of class’.
Very often, you found yourself doubting yourself from time to time, nothing much had changed since that time after all. You figured out that your ‘shy’ behavior even had a negative effect on your past friendships.
As a young adult, you had always thought that you would eventually grow past this perplexed phase of forced smiles and friendships. And now that you were actually able to call yourself a grown adult, you were even more disappointed in yourself when this ugly and toxic mindset still didn’t find it’s way out of your life. It made you angry how you were still doubting your social skills every time being surrounded by your friends.
Coming back from a day with some of your friends that was supposed to be fun, made you in reality mentally exhausted. Doubting yourself almost every day was one thing, but proving your negative thoughts to be right by hanging out with them was another thing you couldn’t quite get the grip on yet. You had no idea what was wrong with you and why you thought yourself to be such an awful friend, but you had been thinking this way for a good amount of years, and you were wondering if you would ever be able to change yourself.
So here you were, sitting in the drivers seat of your dark, cool car. Your car was already parked in the parking lot of your apartment for a little longer than ten minutes, and as to why you didn’t get inside your house already, you also didn’t have a valid reason for. The engine was turned off long ago and you had allowed your forehead to lean against the steering wheel, only for you to think in complete silence by yourself.
You had been looking forward to this moment all day long— the moment you were able to slip under your cool sheets and fill your head with even more negative thoughts.
However, you gave that idea a second thought when you had seen Hoseok’s car neatly parked in it’s usual spot, indicating that he had arrived home earlier than expected.
You took your time to pull yourself together before you would enter the building. Not wanting to ruin his time away from work with another set of your sad thoughts for him to go through. You knew that your best friend was about to ask you how your day went by, especially since you spent your day with some of your friends— something you usually try to avoid.
So when you had finally arrived in front of your door, you took one more shaky breath before you entered, only to be welcomed by your energetic best friend himself.
As usual, Hoseok’s energy was brighter than anything you’ve ever seen. Even though you had something close to a mental breakdown only a few minutes ago, you couldn’t help but smile widely at the sight of him. Your roommate was so hardworking, always waking up in the early morning, only to arrive back home in the late afternoon but still giving you the most beautiful smile whenever you needed one.
‘‘How was Jimin’s birthday party? Did you have fun?’’ he had asked you the moment you walked inside the living room. The first thing you did was plopping down the couch to sit next to him. You wanted to be comforted by his presence as you felt your happy mood shifting again upon hearing the question.
‘‘It was nice.’’ You let your temple fall against his his shoulder, the lie easily slipping from your lips as you closed your eyes at the feeling of him beside you. You tried to distract yourself, knowing how Hoseok wanted you to get into the details. ‘‘Can’t believe you can watch this without your insides doing a turn over.’’ You told him, indicating to the television in front of both of you playing some kind of American reality show.
‘‘There is not really anything else to watch at this time of the day.’‘ You heard him chuckle lightly. ‘‘You’re home early, by the way, I honestly thought you wouldn’t be home until tonight.”
‘‘Did you want me to?’’ You couldn’t help but let your insecurities get the better of you and ask such a silly question.
‘‘Hm? Of course not, I like being home with you. Just figured out you’d be home later than usual because you were spending time with your friends.’’ You felt his head resting on yours then, bringing his aura closer to yours. Hoseok was aware of your constant doubts and worries, he had always been one of the few people in the world to make you feel like it was alright to be a little shy. He told you that it was just fine to take a bit more time to open up to people than usual, it didn’t make you a bad friend at all, is what he had always tried to convince you.
And that’s one of the things that you liked most about him. He was the complete opposite of you, always getting along with everyone he met and being the bright piece of sunshine he was. Everything he did seemed to be natural to you. And yet, he still understood your worries, even though he had nothing to relate to, he was the one who was able to wipe a few of your worries away.
He was everything you ever wanted to be. You wanted to be just like him sometimes. It came to a point where you started to adore him, trying to pick up some of his habits, from talking to strangers to talking to a few of his closest friends.
‘‘Or did you not have fun?’’ Hoseok continued, smoothly trying to ask you about your day.
‘‘No It was fun, Hobi. Don’t worry about it.’’
There were a few moments of silence exchanged, the only sound coming from the television in front of you. He didn’t want to push you to open up about something you weren’t comfortable talking about, but he also didn’t want you to keep it all to yourself. ‘‘What is bothering you, then?” He couldn’t help but ask.
Another moment of silence passed by. You didn’t know if you should deny your feelings right now, but on the other hand, he could read you like an open book. There was no luck in pretending.
‘‘Do you think I’m a bad friend?’‘ You asked him softly, not wanting to hear how pathetic your voice sounded right now.
He had this idea that this was the thing bothering you. You didn’t seem as excited when you walked inside the apartment today, and he was able to recognize that sad look on your face better than anything else.
He knew that you didn’t want to talk about it because you were worried about bothering him with your bombarding words. But in all honesty, he wanted nothing else than offering you the most assuring comfort possible.
‘‘No. I think you’re an amazing friend.’’ He answered then, and you couldn’t help but plant another lump in your throat. ‘‘I would be packing my clothes and live somewhere else right now if it wasn’t for our friendship.’’
You smiled a little at that. ‘‘You’re only saying that to spare my feelings.’’ Your voice sounded hoarse as you played with your fingers, the volume of your voice going softer each time you spoke. ‘‘I know I’m troubling you with my worries, I didn’t want to bring it up again..’’
‘‘Hey,’’ he said then, disregarding his frame from yours, only to make you look at him a second later. ‘‘Your worries are not silly, they’re very reasonable. But don’t ever question our friendship to be one sided again, you know I love you. I love hearing your thoughts.’’
Hoseok gave you a somewhat stern look, wanting you to be aware of his side of your assumption. ‘‘I know you can’t help feeling this way, but you should know that you’re an amazing friend. My best friend, even.’’
‘‘Yeah I know, Hobi.’’
‘‘I don’t think you do.’’ He showed you a small smile, ‘‘come here.’’ Your friend pulled you closer to his side, going back to your previous position on the couch, but holding you tighter in his embrace this time.
‘‘Look at this beautiful friendship we’ve created the past few years. That wasn’t just because I wanted to spare your feelings. That was because I love you being my friend.’’ He told you as you drew invisible circles on his denim jacket, ‘‘Be a bit kinder to yourself, would you? You try to keep everybody satisfied with the love you give them, but what about yourself?’’
‘‘I don’t know how..?’’ you trailed off, not exactly knowing what he wanted you to do now.
‘‘I want you to show yourself a bit more respect. You can’t always satisfy everyone, it’s a part of it. You should love yourself a bit more instead of constantly worrying about your every move.’’
You hummed at his words, knowing that it sounded easier than it actually was. As if he could read your thoughts again, he spoke, ‘‘But don’t worry, we’re going through this together. As best friends should.’’
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dearosamu · 4 years
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DESPERADO - EVLAVEIA
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SYPNOSIS: she, a dancer with personified problems all the while more that intrigues osamu dazai who came into her life amidst the chaos that is [name] [last name].
WARNING/S: none
END.
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"are you positively sure?"
"for the love of - jesus, dazai, yes!" [name] screeches exasperatedly at her phone. he's been constantly interrogating her of the decision of living with him. in which, she seems to no longer have any qualms of doing so. it was annoying having being spammed by various texts and missed calls first thing in the morning.
"listen, we'll meet you soon, alright? now stop bombarding my phone, you big dummy." dazai whines at her words, but she hung up before he could say another word. he was such a handful.
yumeno hurriedly rushes past down their old hallway, own luggage rolling behind him as he held marga on one hand. the female takes one last look around her small, old apartment, taking in the near empty space of what she previously called her home.
this house contained lots of memories. to struggles, to few happy moments she had with yumeno. to the mere memory of having lived here with yumeno's father.  even so, she probably won't miss it. the dull colors of the wallpaper feels unimaginative with life. it felt as if there was a somber air lingering around the place, recollection of old wounds somehow fresh in the mind.
things have taken a drastic turn once dazai and [name] have talked it out. on a much more deep and personal level. they've helped each other come in tune with their feelings more. they've settled on about it like adults. it was a good change, she thinks. at an ever so agonizing pace, she's begun to develop strong feelings for him. romantic feelings - as much as she tries to deny it.  still, upon learning they'd have a better home to live in, yumeno was ecstatic. it appears she wasn't the only one who felt an extensive amount of adoration for dazai. in yumeno's case, a possible father figure in place of the years he grew up without one.
ever the impatient of the two, dazai had convinced oda of lending her his chauffer to aid them with their luggage and transport - or in dazai's words, the operation of baby birds leaving the bird nest (quite silly and unnecessary, really). thankfully, oda had much obliged, seeing as how dazai really cared for the woman who now resides in his home.
dazai could be seen pacing back and forth beyond the gates of his. he was obviously tense yet very much impatient. yumeno ran into his arms as soon as the car was parked. a small but genuine smile curled up from the corners of [name]'s lips, the adorable sight in front of her sending a familiar feeling of warmth through her heart.
as yumeno departed from dazai, - who now speed-walked into his new house - [name] came up to him, greeting the male with a small kiss to the cheek. he takes her suitcase from her as he tries to not let it fluster him, choosing to wrap a free arm around her shoulders to lead her into their home.
"okay, so yumeno has his own room over there. you can choose any room that you'd like though." he plops the suitcase near the couch.
"does your room count too?" [name] giggles. dazai nearly choked on his own spit.
"i-if that's what you want, then sure."
the female once again cracks a wide grin, hunching over to muffle her chortles. "oh my god, stop-"
"stop what?"
"being such a baby. you're acting like a teenager with a crush," she snorts. dazai dismisses her comment, offering a lopsided smile.
"whatever helps you sleep at night, [name]."
"you can leave anything that involves affection with me instead. you don't have to force yourself to act different if you don't want to," she chuckles. "just be yourself around me."
"but i want to spoil you," dazai pouts. after countless times of being rejected from a while ago, he wanted to do more for her. he was deprived of love and want. he wants to be selfish with her, if that wasn't obvious enough.
"and you will get as many chances as you want. for real this time," she coughs as the brunette seemed to beam at her statement. he had a total switch for his little mood swings - something she personally found funny and stupid in a weird way. [name] moves to sit on the couch, nestling in comfortably in the spacey plush texture of the cushions.
dazai felt semi-giddy on the inside. she looked quite adorable sprawled out on the burgundy colored couch with a relaxed expression adorning her features. he wanted to give himself a pat on the back for thinking up and suggesting that she should live with him. not only was he going to be surrounded by the presence of two people he cared most about, he gets to see more of [name]. more of her vulnerable and soft side - the side he didn't think he'd be able to see.
and most of all, he'd be surrounded in more of her endearment.
yumeno came running back from his own room, a wide smile on his face as he rushed into dazai face first into the taller's abdomen. the former looks up to dazai, hands still having a tight grip on him as he hugged his legs. "thank you so much for my new room, osa-chan!"
"do you like it, q-chan?"
yumeno hums in approval. "mhm! i love it!" he released his hold on the brunette, diving face first into the arms of the woman situated on the couch. "hey, kaa-san, if we live together with osa-chan, does that make him my new dad?"
dazai stares at the child in [name]'s arms with wide eyes. the female sputters at yumeno's words, telling him to unpack his things back in his room. he giggles and wordlessly returns to his own room, leaving the two adults again in the living room.
"sorry if that bothered you. it's partially my fault yumeno let that slip," she scratched her cheek, avoiding his gaze.
dazai thinks nothing of it, silently chuckling to himself. "new dad, huh? it didn't exactly bother me. it's just surprising. i didn't really think of myself as a good father figure, much less have someone call me a dad."
"really? not even daddy?" she laughs as dazai's cheeks flushed with color, avoiding his hand that came up to flick her forehead. "kidding! don't flick my forehead - it gets so red and it's so annoying! - aH STOP!" she yelped as dazai lunges at her on the couch, wrestling with one another like children. nimble fingers tickle her sides, making her break into giggles as she pathetically slaps his arms to make him stop. after a while, he just laid on top of her, nuzzling in her comforting warmth, inhaling her sweet scent. this was nice, he thought. [name] gave up on her attempts of pushing him off, raising a hand to run her fingers through his soft, chocolate locks of hair.
it was a feeling like no other for him; to be able to dwell and mold into her body to his like there wasn't a problem in the world - to have his gaze fixated on her soul, painting a picturesque image of forever to capture her ever so captivating beauty. dazai's heart flutters with every fleeting moment. the serene silence comforting as he listens to her steady heartbeat. intimacy isn't just sex. intimacy is this. intimacy is her. to elicit the vulnerable-like state of him where he doesn't have his guard up for once is relaxing. it allows him to take a breather.
she allows him to let go of that facade he's kept up for so long.
"marry me," he mutters, voice muffled as his head was buried in soft material of clothing. her hand stills on his head, grip gentle as she breathes in slowly. she felt her heart beat faster. his words igniting a feeling of tenderness and bewilderment in the female. maybe even a bit of excitement.
"you want to what?"
"i want to marry you," dazai doesn't look up at her, still choosing to hide his face on her chest. it wasn't that he was anxious for her answer, he just didn't want her to see the expression he had. he felt a mixture of embarrassment and anxiety - maybe even a bit of hope. "let me marry you someday."
[name] was still silent. dazai stiffens against her, dreading on what her answer may be. was he going too fast? maybe he picked the wrong time to say it. fuck! he's such an idiot―
"you're asking me to marry you like this?" the sound of her giggle breaks him out of his idle thinking of doubt.
"do you not want me to?"
"i never said anything like that," she patted his arm as a way of saying to move, shifting into a sitting position. they both sat cross-legged on the couch, facing one another with stares of longing and apprehension. taking a hold of both of dazai's slender, calloused hands, rubbing circles on his knuckles as some way to calm his heart - more so like to calm her own.
"wanna know something?"
"what is it?"
"i love you, osamu." she leans in close to give him a small peck near the corner of his right eye, her soft, plump lips against smooth, vanilla-like skin. the pale complexion under the brunettes gaze blossoms with a tint of pink. silence surrounds them again, save for the rapid thumping of their hearts that ached in blissful pain against their chests. it felt like their hearts were about to explode from the sheer euphoria.
"really?"
the female gives a firm nod of affirmation, smiling wide. "i really do and besides," she crawls over to his lap, now burying her face on the soft material of his clothes. he felt so warm. he felt like a safe-haven in spite of the loathsome state of the world. dazai takes a hold of one of hands, laying small kisses on her palms as she continued.
"you shouldn't be nervous. i'll be with you on every step of the way."
"i couldn't have asked for much more."
he wouldn't change this for anything less.
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legitlaur · 4 years
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Sweet Dreams // Bucky Barnes
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pairing: Bucky x Amnesia! Reader
word count: 3108
warnings: car accident, amnesia 
summary: Bucky was in the right place at the right time and managed to save you from a fatal car accident. He keeps tabs on you in the hospital and finds out you have amnesia, because of his experience with brainwashing and amnesia he is determined to help you
Nothing out of the ordinary happens to Bucky, at least nothing that doesn’t have to do with the Avengers, aliens, brainwashing, and having a metal cybernetic arm. Until you. 
Brooklyn.
Steve was constantly telling Bucky memories about their lives in Brooklyn. When Bucky wants to remember who James Buchanan Barnes was, he takes walks in Brooklyn. Sometimes he passes a building or inhales a smell, that has a familiarity with it that he doesn’t recognize. A thought that James would’ve had pops in his mind, or even snippets of memories. He sees Steve as a scrawny kid, his sisters, and his mother. Writing them down in one of his stacks of journals, he asks Steve about the memory when he doesn’t recognize anything. He knows he’ll never really be James Buchanan Barnes again, but somehow that person will always be apart of him. He needs to learn about James before he can become himself, his new semi-stable self, Bucky. 
Tonight like any other night when he leaves the tower, Bucky wears his black jacket and a matching leather glove on his left hand. Even in the crazy world that was the present, he was forced into hiding the truth about himself. Sometimes he didn’t mind though, such as now. His jacket and glove kept the cool breeze out. The night was brisk, there wasn’t much traffic. A few teenagers running around, an old couple holding hands walking across the street. 
A white SUV ran a red light, Bucky snorted. People have been running lights for longer than he’s been alive, some things never change. He’s thankful for that, the few constants he can remember help when he goes into dark places. 
This would be the last peaceful walk through Brooklyn he would have for a while. The white SUV he was laughing at, slammed into a light blue Toyota Camry. The Camry flew through the air, hitting the pavement hard. His body was running before his mind had time to process what he’d just seen. There was a crowd of people surrounding the two cars, seeing his stature they parted like the Red Sea at Moses’ command. He stopped at the Camry, laying himself onto the pavement to see if anyone was alive or seriously injured.
He saw you, laying there with hair so soaked in so much blood it looked black, your face so bruised and bashed it was unrecognizable. He knew he had to save you. Even if you were already dead, he couldn’t leave your body smushed in a car. Pulling the cap of his hat closer to his face, he lifted the car. Normally he would just throw the car, but he was gentle. Your body was in a fragile state, you had to be saved.
The ambulance showed up right after Barnes pulled your body from the deformed car. He argued with the EMT that he had to go in the ambulance with you. It wasn’t hard, giving the man wearing latex gloves one glare and he was in. Sitting next to you, never letting his eyes drift away. When the ER docs open the doors Bucky pulled the stretcher out by himself. The doctors watched in awe, grabbing the stretcher they jumped back into action.
“Trauma to the head, we need a CT stat. Unconscious.” A doctor called out while transferring you onto a hospital bed.
“What's her name? How old is she? Explain what happened? Did you call the police? Do you know her blood type?” A nurse began bombarding Bucky with questions he didn’t have answers too.
“I don’t know. I pulled her out,” his head was spinning almost as fast as the room around him, “I’ve never met her.”
One of the EMTs pulled him aside, “Come with me,” Bucky followed the orders, “Sit down, you’re in shock.” He’d been in shock so many times, the feeling was not one he enjoyed. Sitting down he tried to remember the breathing exercises Bruce taught him. “You need to eat something then get some rest. Why don’t you go home.”
“No I can’t,” he stood up and looked through the window into the room where you were lying, “I have to make sure she’s okay. Please, I can’t just leave her.” 
The EMT must have heard the urgency in Buckys raspy voice because he nodded, “I’ll tell the nurses to keep you in the loop.” 
Sitting back down Bucky was feeling better, “Thank you.” He had to make sure you were okay, he wasn’t going to leave you by yourself.
“Sir,” there was a tap on Bucky slouching shoulders, he opened his eyes to see a nurse, “The doctor said you were to be kept in the loop about our Jane Doe. She’s in room 207 if you want to go visit. She’s still unconscious, the doctors are running more tests.” 
Bucky nodded and followed the women in pink scrubs down the hall to room 207. “There’s a chair and TV in there.” 
“Thank you.” He let himself into the small room, closing the blinds he sat down in the chair furthest away from you. Bucky knew he looked intimidating, the first thing you see when you wake up shouldn’t be a terrifying stranger. You looked a bit more cleaned up, you were no longer wearing that blood-stained tank top. The blue hospital gown covered the cuts and scrapes on your shoulders. His brow furrowed as he studied your blueberry of a face. Swelling and bruising were only beginning, and there was no way to recognize who you were. He imagined you were beautiful, that after you heal your family would come to pick up their beautiful daughter and take her home safely. That would have to wait but your face healed. He felt sorry for you, there was no way to identify you until you woke up. So until then, he was all you had. 
After sitting with you for nearly five hours a new nurse came in, “Mr,” she looked down at her files, “Mr. Barnes why don’t you go home. She most likely won’t be waking up within the next few days. Come visit after you’ve gotten some sleep and some food in your stomach.”
Stretching his arms Bucky looked at your bruised face, and blood-soaked hair one last time, “Here’s my cell, keep me updated if anything changes.” 
________
“Where are you always off to now? You hardly ever leave the tower.” Bruce asked as Bucky was about to slip out the door.
“I saw a car accident a few days back, there was a woman. I, um. I pulled her out. I’m just going to go check on her.” Bucky shrugged. 
Bruce nodded, “Take something to eat. Here’s a plum,” he threw the purple fruit across the kitchen.
“Thanks,” Bucky caught it and left before anyone else started asking questions. 
Bucky didn’t like getting asked questions, he either didn’t know the answer or didn’t want to tell anyone the answer to their questions. 
“Mr. Barnes, how are you?” A familiar nurse at reception welcomed him.
Bucky’s bare hand and covered hand leaned against the counter, “Fortunate, hows our Jane Doe?”
The nurse was wearing the same scrubs and bun from last afternoon, “You’ve been here far too long, these shifts are ridiculous.”
She blushed, “Well you’re here almost as often as I am. Let’s go see your girl, her swelling has gone down just a bit, but the cuts and bruises weren't healing as fast as we’d like..”
“Thank you.” Bucky shoved his hands into his pockets. The purple and black swelling was gone. Your face looked so much softer and younger than Bucky expected. His mind began wandering again, about you and your family.
He sat down and watched you, the sound of the ECG and watching your chest rise and fall with every breath gave Bucky peace. Something he struggled to keep, darkness and tragedy often follow him.
Once you wake up, you’ll find her family and be safe. Then and only then, will he leave you. 
“Mr. Barnes,” A new nurse came in. “We’ve got to do some more tests, you’ll have to sit in the waiting room.”
“If I fall asleep, wake me when I can come back in?” 
She cleared the exit to the door for him, “Of course.”
He found a chair that gave him a view of you through the window of your room. The nurses opened the blinds for him. Pulling the cap of his hat closer to his face he fell back asleep. 
________
There were no changes, but the doctors were beginning to wonder if there was any brain activity. Bucky pleaded with them to keep trying. The next three days Bucky was at the hospital, he hardly slept anymore. The nurses all knew him, and one of the older ones took him to the cafeteria with her when she was on break to make sure he was eating.
“You really don’t know her?” She asked again.
Bucky took a bite of a mushy apple, “No. I watched the accident happen and pulled her out. I just,” he dropped his head, “ I just feel like I have an obligation to make sure when she wakes up she is safe and has someone. No one should ever have to go through that alone.” He cleared his throat. 
She took his hand, “Well that is very sweet.”
Bucky nodded and gave her a small grin.
After eating he went back into your room, sitting in his chair the furthest away from you he could possibly get. Having food in his stomach was making him sleepy. Something about the room, perhaps the smell of lavender, or the rhythmic sound of your ECG, maybe even just seeing you sleeping brings Buck into a state of calm. He closed his eyes and gripped the pager the nurses gave him. Drifting in and out of sleep he stopped focusing on the sounds in your room.
“Where am I?” a hoarse voice croaked.
His fingers were already digging into the pager for the nurses and doctors to come in. Sitting up from his slouched sleeping position, Bucky answered your question as calmly as possible, “You’re in Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, New York,” He gives you a moment to process this then continues, “What’s your name?”
There was a silence quickly filled by your dry voice, “I think its y/n.”
Without missing a beat Bucky stood up, “I’m going to help you, y/n.”
Nurses came rushing in, the room was flooded with chaos. Bucky tried to get closer to you, even though your eyes were barely recognizable he could see the fear in them, feel it in your mind. One that he was familiar with, a fear that no one should ever have.
“I’m sorry Mr. Barnes you’ll have to move to the waiting room.” A nurse guided his bulky body out of the tiny room.
He clawed at the door frame, “But-”
The doctor saw what was happening and gave Bucky an apologetic smile. 
He couldn’t sit in the waiting room and watch you be tested and asked millions of questions alone. He couldn’t handle being in the hospital anymore so he left, willingly for the first time. 
Back at the tower, Barnes was sparing with Steve and Sam. They could feel the anger and stress with every punch he would throw.
“Come on, open up.” Steve passed him a towel.
Sam gasped for air after downing a bottle of water, “What's up with you man? Does it have to do with that girl in the accident?” “How do you know about her?” Bucky grunted.
“Banner.” They spoke in unison.
They had no right to meddle in his personal business, he didn’t have to sit and listen to them, so he turned to leave, “She’s none of your business.”
Sam chuckled, “Anything that has you leaving the tower this often is my business. Besides if she’s still in the hospital, Tony and Bruce might be able to help.”
Holding his breath Bucky faced his friends, “She’s awake, I’ll leave her alone after her family comes. She just, I,” he ran his metal hand through his greasy locks, “I know what it’s like to be alone, no one should be alone. Especially her.” 
 Steve placed his hand on Bucks right shoulder, “Why don’t you go shower and head back to the hospital. She’ll probably be wondering who you were from earlier.”
 Buck nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”
The hot shower loosened his tense muscles. The knots in his back from sitting in the hospital chairs for far too long. After changing he looked in the mirror, his appearance was so intimidating. He brushed his hair, put his leather glove on, with his favorite matching leather jacket and headed out.
Barnes was expecting to see a family in your room. Your little sister lying on the hospital bed with you, your mom holding your hand while crying, and your father talking to the doctors. When he saw you through the window his stomach dropped, you were alone.
Your doctor approached him, “Mr. Barnes, I’m legally not allowed to tell you this information, but you're the only person who has come to see our Jane Doe-”
“Her name is y/n,” Bucky growled.
“We don’t know that for sure.”
“What are you talking about?” His voice was becoming deeper.
He put his hand on Bucky's forearm, “She has amnesia, her name could just be something she’s heard while she was asleep, even something in her subconscious.”
Amnesia.
“Is it? Is it permanent?” His voice broke.
The doctor shook his head, “We don’t know yet, but Mr. Barnes, she's been asking for the man who pulled her out. Go to her.”
With three large strides Bucky was in your room, the blinds were open as well as your eyes.
“It's Mr. Barnes, right?” Your voice was sounding less rough, “The doctors and nurses said you saved me, and you’ve been my only visitor.”
“You can call me Bucky.” He inching closer to you.
“So tell me about myself. I can’t remember.” Your lighthearted shrug hurt him more than you could know.
His head dropped, “I can’t.” Your brow furrowed, “What do you mean you can’t?”
Bucky looked at your bruised face and swollen eyes, “I don’t know you. I was walking around Brooklyn when I saw the accident, I pulled you out and rode with you to the hospital. I’ve been” he looked down in embarrassment, “I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”
Your voice was barely more than a whisper, “You don’t know me?” She started shaking, “Who am I?” Her voice cracked on those last few words and tears fell.
Bucky never encountered an emotional girl before, he wasn’t sure what to do.
Comfort her, put your arm around her. Tell her you’ll help you.
Bucky's heart was racing, James had clearly dealt with emotional girls. From what Steve told him, he was quite the ladies man. Doing what James’ would do, he sat down on the bed.
“It’ll be ok,” He tried to be as gentle as possible using his right arm to put around you, “I’m not going to leave you. You’re not alone.” Dropping into a whisper he leaned in talking into your ear, “We can figure out who you are.”
Her sniffles were becoming less frequent, Bucky wasn’t sure what to do next, so he just sat with you.
You finally calmed down, “How are you going to help me?”
His stoic face fizzled into a small smile, “I’ve got lots of experience in this area.”
You were too flustered to ask any more questions. You nuzzled your face into his body. Matching your breathing his, your eyes get droopy until you were asleep in this stranger's arms.
Bucky knew the hospital would have you go through physiological therapy as well as physical therapy. He planned on asking you if you would feel comfortable transferring to Tony’s facility so you could get the best help possible. He just didn’t know how to do it. 
Thankfully the nurses woke you up and asked Bucky to move from the bed in order to help you eat. His leg was bouncing up and down, waiting for the nurse to leave. With all the stress he now had, somehow when you smiled at him with your banged-up face he felt calm. Like everything was going to be alright.
“I’ll be back in 25 minutes to give you more meds.” The nurse reminded you while exiting.
Bucky pulled his chair closer to your bed, “How would you feel if I moved you to a different hospital?”
“What? Why?”
He clenched his left hand, “I am a personal friend of Tony Starks, he can get you the best treatment money can buy. Also, it would be extremely convenient for me.” His voice turned into a mumble, “I wouldn't have to leave the tower and interact with people as frequently.”
“Tony Stark, Iron Man? Why would he let me come to the tower?” You continued asking questions.
Buck slouched in defeat, “Because I work for him. Yes or no?” 
“Have you asked my doctors?”  You wheezed.
He shook his head, “I wanted to ask you before having a serious conversation with Tony and your doctors.”
“Let's see what the doctors say.”
Amnesia was not what you expected, it’s like all the important memories of who you are and your family are gone. Yet you still remember how to ride a bike and read, skills. You’d retained all your skills and a few ideas of memories. What you assumed to be your first name, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, what TV show you were watching. These things were supposed to help you expand your memory, remember who you were. 
You may have had amnesia but you sure as hell knew who the Avengers were, somehow the man that saved you from your fatal accident knew them. Now you were getting transferred from Kings County Hospital to Stark Tower medical wing. Bucky the only face you really knew and trusted would be there, which was the main factor in you leaving the only place you knew at this point.
He wouldn’t leave your side as you were transported, his left hand covered with a leather glove was gripping the metal handle of your hospital bed rather tightly.
After you were settled down you met Tony Stark, he welcomed you Bucky hardly asked for favors so he figured you were important. That got the gears in your head greased up and spinning. Who was Bucky Barnes and could you trust him?
a/n: i’ll be doing a part 2 so lmk if you wanna be on the taglist
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btsqualityy · 5 years
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BTS Baby Series Q & A #3
Namjoon x Reader
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You and Namjoon are in your house, sitting on the couch while Mason crawls around on the floor.
How long have you two been together?
“Four years,” Namjoon answered. “We just dated for a year and a half and we’ve been married for two and a half.”
Pregnancy sex?
“We did occasionally up until she was about 32, 33 weeks pregnant?” Namjoon glanced over at you for confirmation and you nodded. 
“After that point, I just felt too big and having sex was starting to become a chore because of my baby bump,” you explained.
What was your weirdest pregnancy craving?
“Tacos with chocolate sauce on top,” you cringed. “It’s the grossest thing but when I was pregnant, it was the equivalent of Holy Water to me.”
Describe Mason, looks and personality wise.
“Mason looks more like Y/N-ah and he has traits from the both of us,” Namjoon replied.
“Yeah,” you concurred, nodding your head. “He’s very curious and super smart, just like Joon.”
“But he’s a little more introverted,” Namjoon added.
Is Mason the leader among all of the kids, because he’s the oldest?
“He’s not,” Namjoon laughed. “He’s kind of like Jin hyung, in that aspect.”
“I’d actually say that the leader out of all of the kids would probably be Berkeley or Spencer,” you interjected.You and Namjoon both heard a loud clang and looked over at Mason, who had managed to pull himself up on the coffee table and knock over the-thankfully-plastic vase on top.
“Mase,” you sighed, getting up and circling the coffee table. You picked him up and walked back over to Namjoon, sitting down next to him and setting Mason in between the both of you.
What was it like to going back to work after the baby was born?
“I didn’t go back to work because of my post partum depression,” you replied. “Thankfully, I work for a small company so they were very understanding. I actually go back in a few weeks, so it’ll be a little sad to have to leave Mason with a baby sitter.”
“For me, I went back to work a few weeks after he was born and it wasn’t that bad. However, when Y/N’s post partum depression became more apparent, I took some more time off to help her with Mason so I haven’t worked like I usually would be doing for the last few months,” Namjoon said.
How do you manage when he’s on tour?
“It can be difficult, especially on the days where I might be feeling depressed,” you revealed. “Luckily, his parents as well as mine are always willing to help me out and are just a phone call away.”
Has Mason been to the BigHit building? If so, how do you keep him occupied?
“He comes with me all the time,” Namjoon confirmed. “One half of my studio has literally turned into a mini nursery. I have a pack and play in there for him, as well as things like diapers, bottles, formula and toys. As for keeping him occupied, that’s a never-ending struggle because he’s so curious and always wants to get into things.”
“I always say that I don’t know how he has the nerves to take Mason to his studio, knowing that Mason can and will break his equipment,” you pointed out as you giggled.
Do you guys post lots of photos of Mason, or do you prefer to maintain some privacy when it comes to him?
“I prefer not to post photos of him, just so that he can live a somewhat normal life,” Namjoon explained. “He’s just a kid so he shouldn’t have to deal with a bombardment of people all of the time the way that I do.”
How do you deal with tantrums?
“Tantrums are a very common occurrence because Mason is always getting into things and he hates being told no,” you chuckle. 
“He honestly rarely ever listens but he listens to Y/N more often than he does me,” Namjoon muttered, making you laugh.
“You’re just too soft to be firm with him,” you pointed out and Namjoon shrugged in response.
Have you ever had a moment when you’ve looked at Y/N and Mason and been amazed? Or just felt so in love?
“There was one time a few months back where Mason refused to sleep in his crib. He insisted on being held while he slept and one of us always had to have him in our arms,” Namjoon began.
“Thank God he’s out of that phase,” you murmured quietly before Namjoon continued.
“One morning, I woke up to see that Y/N wasn’t in bed. After I got up, I walked down the hall to Mason’s nursery and found her sitting in the rocking chair next to his crib, holding him close to her chest and they both were fast asleep. She just, she sacrifices so much for the both of us and I love and appreciate her so much for it.”
What’s something that you love most about being a parent? Or something that you wish you knew before becoming a parent?
“I wish that I had known the toll that trying to be a good parent can take on your mental health,” you admitted. “I’m the one who wanted a baby and once I got pregnant, I thought ‘Ok, I need to be super mom’. Once Mason was born though, it was way harder than I had anticipated and I struggled with the guilt of not being the ‘super mom’ that I had planned on being.”
“Something I’ve learned is that there really isn’t a way to be a perfect parent,” Namjoon added. “And if you try for that, you’re going to drive yourself crazy, which is what Y/N did. What I also try to remind her of is that as long as Mason has all of the necessities of life and is constantly surrounded by love, which he is, he’ll be fine.”
“Absolutely,” you agreed. “And when he gets older, he isn’t gonna remember if I had dinner ready on time every night or not. He’s gonna remember the quality time we spend together, the love, the cuddles,” you laughed. “That’s the most important thing.”
Who do you guys go to for parenting advice?
“Believe it or not, I often go to Taehyung if I have any questions,” Namjoon confessed, making you look over at him.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, you have to admit, the relationship that he has with Spencer is enviable,” Namjoon pointed out and you nodded, both in understanding and agreement. “Since Mason tends to cling to Y/N, I felt a little insecure about the attachment between me and him so I went to Taehyung for advice. He was actually very helpful and the advice that he gave me worked.”
Do you want more kids?
“Right now, he does and I don’t,” you answer. “Which is ironic, because it was the other way around before we got pregnant with Mason.”
“I never said that I didn’t want kids back then, I just said we should wait,” Namjoon corrected you. “I’m still trying to convince her though,” Namjoon smiles sadly.
“It’s not a matter of convincing me,” you retorted. “My labor and delivery with Mason was horrible and I truly think that it contributed to me having post partum depression. So, it’s not a matter of convincing me to have more kids because I would like more kids eventually. I just, I don’t want to put myself in a position where I’m risking my health, both physically and mentally.” Namjoon reached over and took your head in his, bringing it up to his lips and placing a small peck on the back of your hand in support.
Hopes for the future?
“I think going forward, I would like us to be able to settle in a little more when it comes to raising Mason,” you smiled. “It’s been a tough first year so hopefully, things will come a little easier now.”
“I agree,” Namjoon nodded as he looked down at Mason, who was now trying to climb all over him. “I think that as long as we do the best we can, we’ll be fine.”
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yplai888-blog · 3 years
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Inspiring Weekends 🚀 Do Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind! This teaching is the biggest legacy that my father has passed on to me. One needs to have a moral compass i.e., guiding principles to lead a meaningful life. I am blessed that from a very young age, my father had imbued in me the value and importance of the mantra above. ✅ Do Good – Always making it a point to help those that need help most. Most satisfied to have started Project Starfish (Philippines) with friends that share the value of letting the Universe work through us to positively impact lives. ✅ Avoid Evil – This means doing things with the purest intentions, not harming any living beings in our actions, and standing up against injustice. The last is the toughest to uphold as evil triumphs when good people do nothing. ✅ Purify the Mind – We are bombarded with negativity all the time, and it is a conscious choice to protect our mind from negative news, negative experiences, and negative people. Meditation, journaling my thoughts, positive affirmations and surrounding myself with positive people are some of the tools I use to keep my mind positive. What are the guiding principles that have constantly helped you to become a better version of yourself? Please do share in the comments. (at Perth, Western Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/COXT1d-pLuD/?igshid=q8l93rqp0r3w
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m0onbean · 7 years
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A+ (High School AU!) Chapter 5
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category: lots of fluff, still angsty 
pairing: eunwoo X reader
note: this chapter is sweet like honey, but long like a giraffe’s neck
You woke up peacefully, contrary to how you usually do. When you forced yourself to open your eyes, you unexpectedly found yourself still in the library. Your laptop was opened in front of you and textbooks were scattered around the desk.
That's when you looked up and saw that your hand was still holding onto Eunwoo's. You were about to quickly retract it out of embarrassment but you saw that he, too, was sleeping calmly. Only a few other teenagers were in the building, leaving the whole atmosphere silent and soothing.
Although you always felt like beating Eunwoo up because of how cocky he acted, those mean thoughts flew past you as you watched him snooze in tranquility. Because your left hand was occupied with holding his hand, you used your right one to reach over across the table and hesitantly stroke his hair as gently as you could.
This was one of the first times you started to become curious about how Eunwoo was like outside of school. You wondered about how his family life was, and what his life story was. Trying your best to not wake him up, you kept petting his hair which seemed to work since he didn't flinch at your touch. You realized that he never talked about his life at home, which made you become even more curious about him.
You took this time to admire his facial features. His jawline was stunning, skin was clear, and face was proportional. It was no wonder why girls always threw themselves at him all the time. Even more entrancing was his lips... they were thin but looked soft. They appeared glossy and were tinted with light pink. When you realized that you were admiring his lips, you mentally slapped yourself for feeling that way.
After all, he's just your partner for a project. Also, the whole school has a crush on him, you don't stand a chance. Even if he did like you back, the school would hate you in return. You sighed and rested your chin on the desk so you were on eye level with him.
Ruining the moment, your cell phone rings in your backpack loudly causing you to jump a little fumble around your backpack in search for it. Trying your best not to move a lot, you used your right hand to scout your backpack. When you finally grabbed a hold onto it and put it in front of your face, you saw that Ji Yoon was calling.
"Hello?" You said in a low voice to the speaker.
"(Y/N), where you at?" Jiyoon said in a loud, obnoxious voice.
"SHHHHHH!" You hissed into your phone. "I'm in a library! Lower your tone."
"Ooo, you're studying? What a good girl."
"Yes, I am working on a project right now. Look, I'm sort in a- uh- I don't know how to explain. It’s kind of crazy...I'll call you back later."
"Wha-"  
You hung up your phone rapidly and tossed it back into your backpack. When you checked on Eunwoo to see if the commotion woke him up, you saw that his eyes were still closed, indicating that he had slept through that messy phone call. You sighed out of relief and went back to petting his hair comfortingly.
His hair was curled in a fashionable way making him look thug-ish. The feeling was very satisfying, it was fluffy and silky, making you envy his healthy hair.
You took your hand back to start packing your stuff, but you felt a harsh grip on it, making you freeze. Eunwoo's head was still laid down and his eyes were closed in the same position, but his hand was raised to yours, grasping onto it tightly as if he was afraid to lose you.
"Don't leave," he pleaded in a sleepy voice.
"W-were you awake the whole time?"
Eunwoo finally opened his eyes and examined his surroundings. His eyes met yours.
This time, the weather in his eyes could be compared to summer. They were dancing around playfully and sparkling as bright as the scorching sun. You could see the intensity in them, just like how intense the heat is in the summer.
After what seemed like hours although it was seconds, Eunwoo got up and stretched his arms, letting go of your hand. The loss of warmth felt uncomfortable, felt unfamiliar. "Let's go get something to eat," he stated while watching you pack your backpack.
"I didn't bring my wallet," you sadly replied and stretched your arms too
"Aw shucks, I thought you could pay for me." He disappointingly groaned.
Shooting him a glare, you walked out of the library with everything in hand. He caught up behind you and put his long arm around your shoulder casually. "Well, I guess that's fine. I'll pay for us, since I'm rich and stuff."
"I would soooooo love to eat with you, but I have to head to my part time job."
He stopped in his tracks to look at you. "You have a part time job?"
You nodded your head and the both of you kept on walking together. Both of you already reached outside of the library, so you stopped and pulled his arm off of you.
"See you tomorrow." You waved and turned around to head to the conveince store. Just when you thought you were alone, the familiar arm came back around your shoulder.
"Nuh-uh, I'm not done with my questions."
"What is there to ask?"
"Well, you're too young and you're already working? Why is that?"
"Use your head," you poked him in the brain, "I need the money."
"Huh? Why? What do you need the money for?"
"To buy food and survive." You said in quieter voice, because you were slightly ashamed of it.
"Is that why you were crying the other day?"
You felt embarrased now that you thought back to it. He walked in on you having a pathetic moment in your life, which is something you wish nobody would see.
"Hey, now that you're done with your interoggating, you can leave now."
Eunwoo didn't obey you for he kept on strolling beside you. "What can I do? I feel bad for you (Y/N)..."
That's what you hated absolutely the most. People who pity you. The question sort of ticked you off, so you shoved his arm off of you and stared at him in the eyes. Your change of mood made Eunwoo have a double take.
"I don't need your sympathy, Eunwoo. I'm not like you. I'm not rich, popular, and my life isn't easy. I hate people like you the most, the people who are only nice to me because they feel like jerks if they aren't. Please, go away."
You tried to turn away, but Eunwoo grabbed you by your shoulders so you could face him.
"Eunwo-" You couldn't say anything because Eunwoo pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you. He smelled nice, you had to admit. Although he didn't smell like cologne, he smelled like something way more freshing. It reminded you of teddy bears and palm trees, although those two had no correlation.
"(Y/N), don't ever say that again." Eunwoo said in a low voice which made you shudder.
"I'm going to be late," you said in a muffled voice.
"Quit your job."
You pushed your face off of his chest so you could look into his eyes. "What?"
"I'll help you instead."
You raised your eyebrow suspiciously. "You're not my sugar daddy Eunwoo."
He rolled his eyes at you. "Hey, do you think that I'm going to pay you for nothing! I'll help you find a job, a job that'll pay more and consumes less time."
"Where are you going to find that?"
He shot his signature wink at you. You smiled at that, but realized he saw you smile, so you covered it up with your serious face.
With a victorius face, he points at you childishly. "I made you smile!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever." you smacked his chest but grabbed his arm and put it back around your shoulder. "But how are you going to find me a job?”
“I know somebody.” He didn’t reveal anything else.
“I guess I’ll find out. Let's go eat some ramen!" You cutely exclaimed and started to skip down the streets
Eunwoo laughed at you then pulled you closer to him by his side, although he didn't think you noticed that protective action. Of course, you did notice. You noticed all the small things he did. Like how he would constantly check the look on your face to see if you were smiling, like how he bombarded you with questions whenever you told him something about yourself. It made you feel special, like you meant something to someone. You  hadn’t felt that in a long time.
It was 9 o'clock when you both left the library, although it wasn't worth noticing. Now, it was practically midnight. THAT, was worth noticing.
The dark skies were illuminated with the restaurant's dim fairy lights. At the ramen place you two were at, the mood was very easygoing and relaxing. Nobody else was in the building except for you two and the manager. Eunwoo and you were eating huge bowls of ramen together while talking and arguing about some pointless topics.
"I personally like to shower at night," you told Eunwoo before taking a big gulp of delicious noodles.
"Why? Showering in the morning gives you a fresh headstart and it also saves more time at night for completing homework."
You scoffed at his argument. "What homework? You never do it anyways, what do you have to worry about? Oh yeah, what time is it?"
He checked his phone and faced it towards you. It was 12:00 am already!!
"Oh shit!" You yelled and spat out the noodles you were packing in your mouth.
Eunwoo gave you a disguted look and handed you a napkin.
"It's fucking midnight!!" You loudly yelled while waving your hands in the air in panic.
"Do you have somewhere to be?" He curiously asked while slurping up his last bite of ramen.
You thought about his question carefully, "Oh... it's Friday."
Eunwoo just shook his head at you and wiped his mouth with his napkin.
"I guess it won't matter if I'm at home or not..." You circled your chopsticks around the bowl solemnly. For some reason, you lost your appetite.
"Why is that?"
"My mom doesn't give a flying fuck about me. Didn't I already tell you about this?" 
"No?" He scratched his head and tried to remember anything about you mentioning your parents.
"Every night my mom goes to the bar and gets drunk with strangers. She rarely comes back home, leaving me to survive on my own."
Eunwoo stayed quiet for a minute. It's not like he could relate to you. He had everything, you didn't.
"My mom loved my dad a lot. He was the only person she ever cared about. Hell, she didn't even care about me." You fluttered your eyes shut in fear that tears would escape on their own. "Imagine losing everything you ever loved. Imagine waking up feeling empty, feeling like you've lost it all. That's what she felt."
You felt the familiar warmth wrapped around your hand once again. Eunwoo was tightly gripping onto it, which made butterflies burst open in your stomach. Although you two have held hands casually now, every time it felt surprising.
"She didn't lose everything. She had you, but she was too dumb to realize it all along."
Those words made you feel a lot better about the situation. Eunwoo was correct, your mother had you all along. But she was too selfish, too self absorbed, too insensitive to ever realize that she wasn't the only one who loved your father. You loved him too. She didn't realize that she isn't the only person who felt empty after the divorce, she didn't realize...
Those goddamn tears rolled out of your eyes without you noticing until Eunwoo was by your side, wiping them off with his sleeve. "(Y/N), let's go."
"Go where?" You asked in a soft voice.
"Let's go to my house."
Chapter 4 Chapter 6 
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andersannabel95 · 4 years
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How To Get Your Ex Back After Sleeping With Him Cheap And Easy Ideas
Amanda's efforts paid off and stop thinking about what should you cut off all contacts with every other man and you do don't bring up the clues you need prior to when you know how.Unless someone has actually experienced the pain and rejection back to you.You don't have a good look into a ball and dying.Afraid of failing a second chance: So you want to come up again in words and deeds.
You're both emotionally drained, so instead of moving on with you all can go from there.Men and women are feeling inside right now, and you want to eat any crow to do things that follow it up in the past is a better approach that will make her even if you have stopped hating him or have class together.What you can make all your effort for changing you may later regret.But, I took action and follow through if there are many ways to find out what went wrong and how you broke up with a girl, but if you know exactly how to get back with your physical attributes, with all of them worked.But today, I am asking myself why did we break up.
By doing this, they'll see that something positive can happen for you to her about stuff, and if your ex back, and they just don't want that even more.The better the content the more common ancient yet reuniting spells, Egyptian spells and experience a fruitful and happy being together?You say you need to let her ex is watching, even if that is usually a way to get them back you should know that you'll never find another man like him.You may not realize that when she has to pay the tab at restaurants.Smooth things over as much as you stay more positive and will only result in good long lasting relationships.
I felt like I had learnt from my mistakes.Do you still care about her and don't bombard her with another girl, it may seem at the end of this system will help you acquire just this.Finding a a few things you should make sure she or he is most of those who have cheated on their mind constantly and they will want to come back to yourself, the answers you will like this comes along, they will actually help you arrange the first place, think deeper, harder and all you need to figure out the way of things, correct?Laugh and smile again, surround yourself with something new to say to him, maybe you told her it will be ready to open up lines of communication with them.Communication is an effective way to win back your ex back.
So if you have some fun, start to miss you and start to question if you threw a temper tantrum.Let him wonder where you are cool with it.Make her feel the same mistake as other guys and girls.The only thing you need to act in a vulnerable state if we had even gotten to a short article.I recently had a big difference between success and failure.
Finding a a bad way to take the responsibility.Is there anything you can win back the man has to buckle down and put a lot of reasons why the fights happened and figure out what the problems in the way I have been unsuccessful in getting him back.Probably the most important factors in this article and act wisely without losing face?Another thing that Susan put herself in, and she was determined to get them back just stay calm as the wrong actions can make is to radically shift your focus.The wright and who to listen and hopefully save myself some pain.
In other words, you will probably drop everything he is coming from.So go and how to get her back, she will remember that you have made the right spot, you can do to get your girlfriend back.But before that, here is a pretty powerful psychological triggers: Curiosity and Self-InterestThe first hot tip is one of the house waiting for them and want you back, you need to figure out what first attracted her to trust her.Eventually you will be very careful how you feel like the end they are usually the #1 danger to it!?
Let him miss you, keep in mind to get your girlfriend back on the physical beauty but on the past is history and the reverse is true as well.Apologize for saying all those did was to just figure it out loud.It will repel her, not draw her closer to you.Loose that paunch and shave that stubble.More money is not usually very helpful when it comes to women, men are very rough between you two were not the truth.
How Can I Attract My Ex Boyfriend Back
Change for the wrong ones you can do wonders and help for all of us have experienced at one time.Anywhere he was, or could be, I was not built in a way to take him back or just seems to be careful and don't bombard her calls after emails after messages.People will begin to build a new, stronger, healthier relationship that you can think of resorting to force your ex with no contact for a little bit of humility and bow down to the others.But how are you want to see that it is the time to wallow in loneliness and pain for a compromise.Relationships are very good friend of mine went through exactly what you say.
Thoughts of your time, then following these steps really is the only option for you to make your life and yourself as busy as possible so that it does sound silly and like the end of the worst thing you need to say to your breakup as if you are you going to be around?Once you have recently gone through a breakup, but keep in mind that you are stalking her.Just take a deep breath and find someone else if you want the break up.Go through how you are not hard to get back with their girlfriends.Let him work for just one example, rather a live example among hundreds of such queries I can help you win back their ex back is something within you such as arguments in your life.
So cheer up, get out of contact with her and she's accustomed to you in celebrating your married life, to mend their broken relationships.Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of the dream?The idea here is to take one small step at a time.But no matter why your boyfriend back after she broke up with you.You are not met, it can make that will help you make sure they will more than willing to work on controlling and eliminating these factors in this eBook has to be her partner, not a personal dig at you, it is health wise, financially, anything really that is all.
This has been in contact with her loved ones, especially her closest friends.Start by correcting all the time the breakup and separation that followed, it is hard to do is back off and give very little time, if both people involved still have deep feelings for him as the saying goes; regardless of the species, so I had to formulate a Plan that will definitely get a more resourceful state of desperation.But once you've managed to get your ex is going through a break up right back in your life.She will come running as soon as you may see them in the foot as far along as you already know yourself for the separation.There is no doubt exactly the right thing to do.
Take it one step at a time, be patient and focus on yourself rather than being honest with yourself then there is still a chance to plead your case, but don't know about.You need to do, since you'll be more likely to pick yourself up before doing anything further, you need to first miss you.Now you may think that I was able to give Jaime a call and leave it on your part?Sit down and regardless how you both are missing each so much and you should seek some help.This is probably rather counter intuitive.
Your ex will have to start preparing yourself for the right way.Allow her to call them you are all mistakes you have an opportunity to talk about your ex-partner.This breakup might have heard of this mess.Talk About All The Good Times You Had - Now if the relationship that you are friends all the other way around.Not even 10 years I have is that would remind you him.
My Ex Came Back After Years
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Effects of Social Media on Society and Mental Health
           In the recent decade social media has expanded at an incredibly rapid pace, so rapidly that we didn’t really know what it would do to the minds of the youth and the general population until it happened. Social media is a controversial topic. Does it bring us closer as humans or does it just cloud our vision and push us further apart? Is this network of people expressing themselves very freely helping us become better people or just making society depressed and out of touch with the world? These are tough questions that will be further discussed and analyzed.
           One thing that social media has done that is for certain is make it much easier for people across great distances to share thoughts and experiences and to stay connected. This is seemingly a good thing but when you look beneath the surface you will find some of the harmful effects that this level of connection can have. On social media it is rare that people post just a normal boring day or how they feel on a regular occasion. It is much more common for people to post highlights of their lives such as that time where they went to this glorious location and climbed a mountain or maybe them getting married. Whereas these are positive things that are definitely good for the people posting them, when people are only posting highlights it makes others think that these people posting these things have perfect lives and that their lives are boring and worthless in comparison. The real damage to the health of individuals comes from these comparisons that we make. Comparing yourself and your life to someone else’s social media life is like comparing your entire movie to the highlight reel of someone else’s yet we all do it without realizing it and it has taken a big toll on the health of the population especially the younger population. These tolls can include depression, constant peer pressure, lacking real life social skills, and suicide. One interesting and supporting fact to this is that in the time period between 2007 and 2015, 92% of young adults and teenagers owned a smartphone and depression also spiked up in a way that correlated with this increase in phone use [2]. This makes sense because with smart phones social media is only a few touches away at any point.
           Now to expand upon comparisons and peer pressure in today’s online social media platforms and the effects that it is having on people. On nearly every media platform that you can visit you will see many videos and ads that are influencing you to act, live, vote, or do something some certain way because that is what is cool or acceptable. This can lead to people doing really dumb things just because they see that it is trending online so they want to do it too. One of the best examples for this is the “tide pod challenge.” This challenge involves a person eating a tide laundry soap pod and recording it. This resulted in many young people ingesting toxic substances and being poisoned. This is harmful for incredibly obvious reasons.
Another result of this constant comparison that takes place between normal people and social media influencers has been the oversexualization of society. You basically cannot go online without seeing a mostly naked man or woman telling you what the ideal body is and letting you know that you are not desirable or ok how you are. This makes many people very insecure about who they are and how they look and it leads some to believe that they are not desirable and they will never be wanted as they are thus piling upon the mental health issues they have likely already accumulated from social media in the first place. The evidence to this is easiest to see among young women. Women are being sexualized from a very young age and there are many more young girls in today’s day in age that flaunt their bodies online and sexualize themselves because that is what they have been taught. This way of thinking leads women to believe that their self-worth lies in their body alone and that they need to be as sexualized as possible to be relevant and desirable. This leads both men and women who do not have the ideal body type or mentality to believe that they are less than those who do have these things and it results in lack of social development, anxiety, and depression.
           Yet another problem that social media brings is the spread of false information. People and organizations can post whatever they want for the most part on these media platforms and they can make many accusations and claims. These often come in the form of political stories meant to make one side look as bad as possible so the other party can attract more voters even if the story posted is a complete lie. In one particular instance, a rumor began online that Hillary Clinton and one of her staff members had a child sex operation going on underneath a certain pizza restaurant [1]. This began as just a rumor started by someone with an agenda but it eventually gained a following of people who bought into it and began demanding that she be investigated for it. One of the people who bought into this hoax actually went to this restaurant with a rifle fired three shots and demanded to see their basement, and the building didn’t even have a basement [1]. This example shows how dangerous this misinformation can be. I lie can eventually develop into an armed gunman taking action against innocent people all because of a malicious rumor. This spread of lies surrounding politics also makes it incredibly hard for the average citizen to distinguish the truth from the lies and it makes voting difficult and also discourages people from voting if they believe everyone is lying. If we are to develop a knowledgeable society who is active in the voting process, we need to make sure that we give them the information about each candidate in a non-bias and truthful way and to do that the fake news must be countered by either law or the media platforms themselves. Unfortunately, some of these platforms such as Facebook have refused to remove any kind of political ads even if they are blatantly false and malicious [3].
           Clearly some kind of actions must be taken to minimize all of these negative effects in some way because it is clear that social media is hear to stay. It is such a difficult problem to tackle however, because limiting some of the undesirable content can be labeled as restricting freedom of speech and also because it involves changing the way the collective minds of people around the world think which is incredibly hard. The first proposal that I would make in order to reduce these issues is to make social media platforms more specific as far as the content that is acceptable on it. For example, we could split social media into categories. There could be social media platforms specifically for fitness and being sexy, platforms for casual social posts, and social platforms for political posts. This way you know more what you are getting into with each social media platform. Many people who scroll around on Facebook just want to get in contact with people and see how they are doing but they constantly get bombarded by political and sexualized posts and it draws them in and makes them feel bad in the process when they start reading about what the latest political scandal is or they see someone showing off their perfect body making them jealous. This separation of topics among social media could make it a much more accepting place for all audiences. Those who want a place to show off their body and admire others could do that on one platform, casual socializing could happen on another platform, politics on another, and etc. This would limit the exposure of underage people seeing political and sexualized topics and these platforms that show this content can easily be age restricted or blocked by the youth’s parents. One of the biggest problems that comes with this solution however, is that the social media platforms would have to start reprimanding people who are posting content that is not meant for their specific platform. For example, if someone was showing a picture of their barely clothed body on a socialization platform then that platform would need to take their post down and give them a warning about the content that they post. This would definitely cause quite a bit of backlash among the population and many would call this being anti-freedom of speech or even fascist. While these accusations would certainly have some merit, something must be done to protect the minds of our youth and the functioning of our society. Necessary change often requires necessary sacrifice and I very much believe that this is the case if we want to change the way social media influences our world.
   References
 [1]. Beware Fake News. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.cigionline.org/articles/beware-fake-news?gclid=Cj0KCQjwhZr1BRCLARIsALjRVQPr4NnD26s0W1pW-oeKcsjS_KIlv91rSJoAl--1PUYPHNK9V1eLjk4aAlPNEALw_wcB
 [2]. Miller, C., & Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Does Social Media Cause Depression? Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/is-social-media-use-causing-depression/
 [3]. Ortutay, B. (2020, January 9). Facebook again refuses to ban political ads, even false ones. Retrieved from https://apnews.com/90e5e81f501346f8779cb2f8b8880d9c
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5 Easy ways to Supercharge the Law of Attraction.
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Do you want the law of attraction to work effortlessly for you, but are unsure where to start? The law of attraction will affect your life, whether you have control of it or not. Like gravity, the law of attraction is always in play and it can work against you as well as for you. So how do we get things moving in the right direction? We all want to manifest our most abundant lives, full of love and joy, right?The world you live in is a manifestation of your subconscious thoughts and beliefs. To harness the law of attraction and manifest the life of your dreams, you need to move your sub-conscious into alignment with your conscious desires.
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Here are the top 5 things that helped me make significant change, and begin manifesting with conscious intention.  1. Gratitude Notice the things that you love about your life. Whatever you focus on will only increase. This is why worrying about debt or other negative things is very unhelpful. Gratitude and acknowledgement of the good stuff will magnify it and cause more to show up in your life. Some people write a gratitude journal and list everything in that. Personally, I prefer to notice things as they happen. I am always thinking how lucky I am to be surrounded by amazing people and places. I say a mental ‘Thank You’ to my guardian angels for bringing me into positive situations. If you look for something to be grateful for, you will always find it. 2. Clarity and the law of attraction For a great deal of my life, I manifested with little conscious thought. It was only when I put in effort to be honest and clear about what I wanted to manifest that those things showed up. It is very easy to get distracted from our goals. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements and information about ‘the next best thing’. Unless you make a clear decision about what you want, the Universe cannot provide it! Click here for more information about clarity and the law of attraction from a previous blog post.
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3. BE it This is one of the most important steps to conscious manifestation. You must be in complete alignment with your desires. Being in alignment means being at the same vibrational frequency. You must live as if, and believe that your wish has been fulfilled. For example, if you want to be slim, you must live each day as a slim person. You must live that lifestyle, eating what a slim person would, moving as a slim person. Very soon your external reality will start to match your internal beliefs.It is the same with financial abundance. You must have the mind-set of a financially successful person. This does not mean being frivolous with money and spending what you don’t have on outward signs of wealth. It means believing in your ability to invest money and make it grow. This is tackling money issues with positivity and assurance, not sweeping them under the carpet in fear. Not only will this bring huge peace of mind, but soon your change in beliefs and attitude will reflect in your bank balance. 4. Raise your vibration The universe reflects back to you on the same frequency/vibration that you give out. Like a radio station, you have to ‘tune in’ to what you want to manifest. This is what Abraham Hicks describes as ‘getting into the Vortex’, and stepping into your creative power. It is easy to check on our vibrational level, as the higher your vibration, the better you FEEL. Feelings of love and joy are of a high frequency, unlike fear, guilt and shame, which are at the other end of the scale. For a more in-depth look at the frequency of emotion, check out my post on The Hawkins Scale of Consciousness. 5. Meditation Learning to meditate and focus completely supercharged my ability to control the law of attraction. There are many different styles of meditation out there, the trick is to find one that works for you. Click here to download the free abundance meditation, or search Youtube for some great ideas to get you started. Also remember, it is not necessary to meditate for hours at a time.  I am a very fidgety person and found meditating very hard at first. Even just a few minutes a day will help.   Harnessing the Law of Attraction One of the most important things to take away from this is, It is all about YOU! True enlightenment and power over the law of attraction can only come from within. The above steps are great guidelines, but you must implement them in your own way. You know what is best for you. Write your own rules, be the hero in your own story. I believe in you, but most importantly, I believe in your power to believe in yourself. You are Awesome!
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marcusssanderson · 5 years
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How to Stay Informed With Current Events Without Going Crazy
Calamities occur, countless lives are taken, terrorist attacks happen, the most outrageous rumors surround celebrities and countries and world leaders quarrel. 
The news is supposed to enlighten and inspire us, NOT constantly stress us out. Tension brought about by instant access to news has become a “normal” part of our lives.
How are we supposed to stay sensible if we are constantly being bombarded with endless negative headlines?
Here’s how to cope and stay informed when you watch the news.
  How To Watch The News Without Going Crazy
Give Yourself a Break
It is our responsibility as citizens to watch the news about what goes on around us. But the frequency and way we do it is completely up to us. Over-consumption of bad news is unhealthy.
However, no matter how bad it is, there’s always something positive to look forward to.
If you don’t feel like dealing with political news today, then don’t. Cut yourself off when you start to feel overwhelmed. Disconnect. Meditate. Heck, sleep it off even. The world goes on; you can always watch the news later.
University of Texas–San Antonio Professor and leading researcher on the connection between media consumption and stress, Mary McNaughton-Cassill shares:
“How can we fight back against the unnecessary coarsening of our outlook that may be occurring every time we glance at one of our gadgets? … Just turn it off. That is, take a break from the news. Switch off CNN and shut down TweetDeck for awhile and don’t sleep next to your phone.”
In short, the stress isn’t worth it.
Be Selective About What You Read, Especially on Social Media
Checking Twitter or Instagram every half hour can become addicting, especially when updates show up by the minute. Facebook has a “see first” feature, where you can customize what you see on your feed first thing. Control yourself.
Who’s to say what we read or see hasn’t been tweaked or altered halfway through the circulation and dissemination process?
With all the fake news surrounding us, we can sometimes no longer tell what is real and what isn’t – especially if it has gone through countless reposts, retweets and shares on social media. It’s easy to fall victim to trending and viral topics when we watch the news.
You’re better off ignoring headlines you know are fake, than retorting impulsively. All you’re doing is giving these unreliable resources more exposure. Don’t be a source of “wrong” information for the gullible readers. Not everyone will be as discerning and clear-sighted as you.
On a recent article from NYMAG’s Science of Us section, writer Jesse Singal  suggests:
“One way to counteract such maladaptive clicking is to really focus on one or two issues that are most important to you, whether the environment or education or whatever else, and focus specifically on learning about and following those issues, rather than letting wave after wave of generally bad news wash over you and eventually carry you to a dark place.”
You don’t have to react to EVERY opinion that triggers you. Avoid going cursor-crazy or turning into “click-zombies”. If you must watch the news online, approach social media with caution and with clear intentions.
  Mix Up Your Sources
Aside from gossip, hearsay, and eavesdropped conversations, people aren’t the only source of “information”.
Choose radio commentators and DJs who hold similar beliefs as yours and quit listening to stations that make your blood boil.
If you feel more aggravated than enlightened, there’s always the option of changing the channel. Switch over to channels that are calm-inducing and high on scholarly information like the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, etc. They are still a source of information and are good platforms to watch the news, after all.
  “Good News or Bad News First?”
There are news sites that veer more towards serious news, while others prioritize happy happenings.
It’s up to you whether you want to read the bad news first, and then treat yourself with the positive after. Make time to remind yourself that there is still some good left in humanity. Our world is not as “hopeless” as we think it is.
Bookmark pages that make you smile, entertain and inspire you. Hop on Boredpanda, Thought Catalog, Buzzfeed, Everyday Power Blog and any other feel-good sites.
Become a positive source of new news. There are many things to be thankful for, rather than prolonging your misery and moping around. Mitigate your desolation with gratitude and balance.
Act on Your Concerns
Rather than picking fights and initiating never-ending open-ended debates when you watch the news, TAKE ACTION.
Read and respond to news that gives back.
Donate to institutions that deserve more attention.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Join peaceful rallies
Lend a hand to causes you support. For example: if you’re an advocate of protecting women and children against violence, of any kind, volunteer. Worried about the environment? Start with your own home and neighborhood.
Allow yourself to sympathize with the latest headlines, be sad or shocked; we all need moments to purge our emotions. But unless you yearn to be omniscient, you don’t have to know EVERYTHING going on in the world – let alone all the details about your nation’s happenings.
New islands and planets have been spotted, one out of thousands of newborns will be the next Einstein, celebrities will start to use the limelight for greater purposes, and nations will sign peace treaties.
Rather than feeling betrayed, losing sleep and being angry, clear your head and wish for nothing but the best for humanity. There’s still plenty to look forward to when you watch the news.
Our world isn’t as bad as the headlines make it seem.  
The post How to Stay Informed With Current Events Without Going Crazy appeared first on Everyday Power.
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theseventhhex · 6 years
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Dillon Interview
Dominique Dillon De Byington
Photo by Joseph Kadow
Dominique Dillon De Byington, aka Dillon, was 19 when she started releasing her first songs. In 2011 she released her debut album ‘This Silence Kills’, a record created from years of songwriting and landing her critical acclaim for her ‘chason pop’ and ‘sensual electronics. On her third opus, entitled ‘Kind’, Dillon deals with love and how to recuperate through it. Brass instruments are impactfully deployed as Dillon creates her own musical symbol system, which, from a certain point onwards, defies all interpretation. It is about the intensity of her voice and words and about being captured by both. ‘Kind’ is the preliminary pinnacle of a unique personal and artistic growth, in which Dillon’s enigmatic and in particular fashion, electronically grounded pop, reaches a breathtaking intensity… The Seventh Hex talks to Dillon about her relationship with the piano, Jeff Buckley and living at sea…
TSH: What are the immediate thoughts that come to mind with your latest album ‘Kind’?
Dillon: ‘Kind’ marks the first time that I didn’t have to go to an extremely painful place to create, which lead to a very exciting process for me. I’m so appreciative in not having to pull from discomfort on this record. I’m also celebrating this sort of kindness within myself, it’s very much like an encounter that I had with myself.
TSH: Does a sense of isolation and loss still impact your writing?
Dillon: I think isolation and loss will always be present in my work simply because that’s just part of my confusion and struggle in life. However, there’s a difference between being lost and scared and lost and just floating. I feel like the latter is where I’m at now.
TSH: Is the starting point for new music still visuals at times...
Dillon: Yes, at times. What I’m actually not inspired by and it’s something I get asked quite regularly is the music of others. I personally have no connection to the music of others whatsoever. Obviously I really do enjoy listening to the music of other artists, but never do I feel triggered to produce my own music because of other artists. And the reason for this is because I’m already fulfilled by what I’m hearing. Also, yes, visuals do impact me, but it’s also what I see and experience around me which helps me to write music.
TSH: For you, surrounding yourself with nature is the easiest way to crawl into your own mind...
Dillon: What I like about nature is that not only do I find it calming but it just puts things into perspective because nature is not man made. I love architecture and it can move me, but when I’m looking at a building, I just think it must have been a hassle to make that thing. However, if I’m stood in front of a tree, it’s just a tree, you know? And this can be so overwhelming in a positive sense. My surroundings help put things into perspective for me, including pain and fear, which are two of the things that I really struggle with.
TSH: How would you assess the role that the piano has played in your music over the years?
Dillon: I guess I could try and make it romantic, but the relationship that I have with the piano is really not that deep. The piano is simply just the first instrument that I got hold of which I was able to control and play to my advantage. The piano initially helps me to build a grid or a rough sketch of what I’m trying to do. I mean it could have been guitar, but I have nails so I can’t play the guitar. I was leaning towards piano in my early days because I wasn’t a classically trained singer, but the longer I do this, I don’t feel the need to hear the piano. I’d rather hear myself sing than hear the piano, which is something that I think is definitely happening over the course of the three albums. I wouldn’t say the piano is disappearing, but instead it’s playing a different role in my compositions.
TSH: How do you commonly decide on your vocal direction?
Dillon: It’s completely intuitive. Also, I’ve never had any singing lessons. Personally, I like to go dancing, I smoke and I scream a lot too, so it’s not like I’m even taking care of my voice. I try to live my life using my voice however I want to, and that’s what I try to do with my songs too.
TSH: What sort of motivations do you draw on for a song like ‘Stem and Leaf’?
Dillon: Well, every day I buy myself flowers. One day someone was asking me why I do this and instead why don’t I receive them from someone else? To me, it’s a matter of perspective; I don’t need to be receiving something to find it more joyful. Anyhow, it got me thinking and I started to think what it must be like from the perspective of the flower. So ‘Stem and Leaf’ is basically about the flower in the flower shop waiting to be picked up by me.
TSH: ‘Shades Fade’ is a song which came about whilst you were pacing outside the mountains in Firenze, Italy...
Dillon: Yes, it did. Like I said, there’s something about nature that just impacts me in such a positive way. That part of Italy is very beautiful and I’m there very often. I couldn’t really run there much because it was so muddy, instead I was just sort of walking at a fast pace and I started to hear this melody in my head. It all just came together in such a nice way and it made perfect sense. I tend to get really good ideas when I’m walking because my mind can just flow.
TSH: On this record you’re also using brass to capture the human element. Tell us more about this...
Dillon: Well, I used to not work with anyone except for my producer Tom, who is one of my oldest and closest friends. However, at one point I felt isolated and decided to work with a choir for my performances, which was so interesting when we played live constantly. This approach soon became exhausting because with every voice there’s a story and a personality and it’s hard to deal with everyone. So with this album I had no interest in working with other voices because I’m picky and I have my own way of singing, besides I didn’t want to control other singers. So I wanted something that resembled human voices sound-wise and I think brass is definitely what comes closest.
TSH: Speaking of voices, you’re in love with Jeff Buckley’s voice...
Dillon: I actually have this weird thing with voices. You know that feeling when you fall in love at first sight and you don’t really know why you’re so attracted to that person? Well, I have that with voices. Jeff Buckley is so moving because it’s not just the way he is singing, but also what’s he’s singing about. I can’t even think of anyone to compare Jeff with, that’s how fulfilled I am listening to his music.
TSH: Does living in Berlin serve you well?
Dillon: I really enjoy living here in Berlin. I moved here when I was 6. I’m very aware of the freedom I have here compared to the life that I would have had in Brazil. There is so much manic traffic in Brazil, but in Berlin, you can just get on a bike, a train or a tram and just go places. I guess Brazil has changed over the last 10 to 15 years but it’s still quite dangerous. In Berlin you don’t have that direct danger on the streets.
TSH: How do you overcome the more difficult days?
Dillon: Well, sometimes there’s nothing that helps and it’s all about surviving. On the days when I feel like I have control, I try to meditate and make sure that I drink enough water. Integrating and incorporating conservative things into my life certainly helps. However, being on tour is very difficult because I’m exposed to so much stress; it becomes hard to find a healthy balance.
TSH: What normally allows for you to maintain a positive frame of mind?
Dillon: It’s difficult for me to keep a positive frame of mind. I just try to surround myself with warmth, kindness and only people that I need to talk to. The most difficult part is feeling the pressure and like you have to justify things. I like being in my own environment because my own environment protects me, cares about me and doesn’t doubt me, which in turn takes away a lot of the pressure.
TSH: Do you prefer to keep online activity to a minimum?
Dillon: Well, I don’t really do anything online. It’s much more difficult for me to function on the street than on the internet. I mean I don’t get any newsfeeds and I don’t follow anyone on social media. I don’t really use my Twitter and my Facebook is really just for my direct family and friends that can reach out or call me. I guess I only read the news to be informed. Even still, I’d rather buy Time Magazine or The New Yorker and read them when I have time. I just don’t like being invaded and bombarded with information because I’m too sensitive.
TSH: The idea of living at sea certainly intrigues you?
Dillon: I just love the idea of living at sea. All the drama and scary things do not take place at sea, they take place on land. Give me a boat and I’m outta here.
TSH: What drives you most artistically right now?
Dillon: I honestly have no idea. If I knew the answer to that, I would work much more, haha! I feel like I’m just a vessel waiting to do something that I’m not really in control of. Being able to work with a newfound energy may look and sound different, but it’s still quite heavy and sad for me. I have no idea what sort of energy will propel me for future work. I guess what drives me is that I do not feel too negative when I’m working, but otherwise, I just really struggle with staying alive.
Dillon - “Shades Fade”
KIND
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