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yoosmekihyun · 4 months

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Conversations in the Dark (pt. 1)

Summary: After a series of major personal events, you decide to move to New York (in part) so you can have a relationship with your newly discovered half-sister, Karen Page. Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson become additional important figures in your life as you navigate new relationships and figure out how to live your life.

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (eventually), we run the spectrum of emotions here

Warnings: mention of death, grief, anxiety, drinking, pining (so much pining), self-deprecation, chapters with sexual content will be marked with their own warnings, violence or attempted violence (i.e. Daredevil related), more possible warnings in the future

Author’s Note: This is pure wish fulfillment and written for my own joy. I haven’t put out anything in at least five years and this is the first time I’ve written something multi-part. I’m not sure how this will go, how long it will be, or how often I will post/update.

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 1

The remnants of summer still lingered in the warm September afternoon as you stepped out of the cab in front of the coffee shop. Glancing at your watch, you realized you were still a little early but that’s how you preferred it. This would allow you to order your drink and calm your nerves a little before she arrived.

When your turn came at the counter, you took the barista’s suggestion of the monthly special and moved to wait for your drink. Looking around you noticed the little pieces of fall décor another employee was putting up around the shop giving it a cozier vibe. Once the barista called your name, you found a small empty table in a corner that would allow you to watch the door and enjoy the city street chaos through the large window next to you.

This shouldn’t have been as nerve racking as it was but while you had spoken with your half-sister several times over the last year, you hadn’t seen her in person since your father’s funeral a little over a year ago. You prayed this was a good idea. You needed a win after the heaviness you had dealt with over the last few years. You needed some joy and connection, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity but now you were second guessing yourself.

Just as you were beginning to spiral and doubt your decision for the umpteenth time that day, you heard the ding of the door and watched your half-sister, Karen Page, rush in searching for you. The moment she saw you, she broke into a huge smile and hurried over to envelop you in a hug.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you made it safely! I hope you weren’t waiting long; I told Matt and Foggy I needed to leave sooner but they’re drowning in a sea of paperwork for a case, and we lost track of time.”

“Don’t worry about it! I’m usually early and you’re only a couple minutes late. No harm, no foul.” You released her from the hug and in that instant, you knew you had made the right decision. You didn’t realize how much you needed a hug from family until that moment and you felt more settled than you had in weeks.

“Do we need to postpone so you can get back to the office? Are you on a time crunch?” you asked.

“Oh, hell no, we are not postponing! They’ll be fine without me for a little while. I want to caffeinate while I hear about how you’re feeling now that you’re here!”

-X-

Your biological father may have been a world class asshole, but at least he had the decency to tell you and Karen about each other before he died. It was weird growing up as an only child to find out as an adult that you had a sister, especially when you had so desperately wished for one when you were younger. For her part, Karen could have decided she didn’t want a sister, but she welcomed you into her life with open arms. Admittedly, you struggled some, not because you were unhappy to find out about her, but because the news came during one of the worst times of your life.

If you had a terrible biological father, then luckily, you had the most amazing mother you could have asked for. When you and Karen found out about each other, you had just received news that your mother had been diagnosed with cancer for the second time. This time, it was late-stage and had spread with abysmal survival rates. This news alone meant your plate was beyond full. The idea of figuring out how to grieve the parent who didn’t want you while struggling to accept the awful news about your mother was overwhelming. It was nothing to say of the struggles to cultivate a new relationship with your sister under your poorly hidden sorrow, but Karen had been lovely and understanding. She did so much of the early legwork to develop your relationship, checking on you when she knew you were focused on your mother and often reminding you to do basic tasks to take care of yourself.

When your mother passed in the late spring, you were understandably devastated. She had been your sounding board your entire life and, without her, you felt unmoored. Thankfully, Karen had been there. She hadn’t been able to come to the funeral, but she called you every day for the first couple weeks after to make sure you were eating, hydrating, and showering. She listened to your stories and cried with you when the grief threatened to eat you alive.

During a conversation expressing your untethered feelings, Karen raised the idea that led you to the coffee shop in the midst of Hell’s Kitchen.

“Hey, I know you’re not sure what to do but…what if you moved here? Maybe a big change of pace and scenery will help you move forward.”

If you were being honest, moving to New York was an idea you had for a long time. You had applied to Columbia and NYU in your final year of high school but a full ride to a local university secured your undergrad path. Despite this decision, you never let go of the idea of New York. When Karen tentatively suggested the idea, it was like your mother was holding a huge neon sign for you, telling you to get off your ass and GO! A light burst into life within you, and you scrambled to make the arrangements so you could move as soon as possible.

-X-

Once Karen had her coffee and settled into her seat, you relayed some of your travel mishaps and your ideas and loose plans for her input.

“Honestly, I can’t really believe I’m here. It’s all still so surreal. But I’m hoping the apartment hunting will help ground me a little and once I can actually get my things here, it’ll start to sink in.”

“That makes sense. I imagine it’ll feel more like a vacation until you have your things around you. I’m so glad you’re here to experience fall in New York! I think you’ll love it,” Karen gushed, beaming at you.

As you grinned at Karen, you felt a peace and a warmth spread in your chest that you hadn’t felt since before your mom passed. You reached across the table and grasped her hand. “Thank you, Karen, for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you this last year. I’m so grateful you’re my sister.”

Karen’s eyes started to well up as she gripped your hand in return, “I’m grateful you’re my sister too.”

Shocking you both out of the moment, Karen’s phone buzzed, and she rolled her eyes once she saw the caller ID. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. He knows I’m with you so I’m not sure why Foggy’s calling.” You waved her to answer it, unbothered by the interruption as it gave you a moment to reign in your emotions a little more. You didn’t need to start sobbing in the middle of a coffee shop; you’d have your bigger emotions in private later.

You took a sip of your coffee as you heard Karen’s exasperated tone, “Yes Foggy I know it’s a big deal. YES, I know we need the revenue. Okay, okay but you both know why I took an extended break and who I’m with…Seriously?? Now? Ugh, fine. You both owe me AND Y/N for interrupting.”

Karen sighed as she ended the call and looked at you apologetically. Before she could even say anything, you started, “Let me guess, they need you back ASAP because they don’t know how to function without you?”

She chuckled and confirmed, “Basically. He also asked me to bring back coffee. They’re losing steam fast. If you’re not too tired, do you want to walk back with me? You can meet them, so you know who to look for when we get drinks at Josie’s tonight!”

“Wait, what’s Josie’s?”

“It’s this local dive bar that Matt and Foggy love and they want to welcome you to the city! We planned on going tonight if you felt up to it, but we can do another night or somewhere else if that works better for you?”

You could tell Karen was a little nervous. Whether it was encouraging you to meet her co-workers and friends so quickly or having you go drinking your first night in an unfamiliar city, you didn’t know but you wanted to start living your life, not hide away in a hotel room.

“That all sounds great! I love a good dive bar, sounds like my kind of place.”

Fresh coffees in hand, you and Karen made your way back to her office making small talk about the neighborhood and places to consider when you went apartment hunting the following day with a recommended broker. You wanted to be near Karen, not necessarily in her building, but within walking distance so it would be easy to see each other when you wanted.

You nearly missed the sign “Nelson, Murdock, and Page” until Karen directed you to the door next to it. Once you made it to the interior door, you could hear the loud voices before Karen opened the office door.

“I come bearing caffeine. If you want it, stop arguing and get out here so you can meet my sister!”

You heard chairs scraping right before you saw a tall, blonde man with a huge smile step out of a side room. Holding out his hand for you to shake he said, “Hi! I’m Franklin Nelson but you can call me Foggy.”

Unable to hold back your grin, you took his hand for a quick shake and replied “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

The sheer happiness and light that shone out of Foggy reminded you of your mother. You knew this man was going to be your friend, come hell or highwater.

Behind Foggy you could hear a shuffling sound and you peered around him. Once you saw the other man, you nearly forgot to breathe. Your heart stuttered in your chest as you gazed at easily the most beautiful man you had ever seen in person. Like Foggy, he had his sleeves rolled up to just under the elbow and the top button of his shirt was undone along with a loosened tie. His red reflective glasses did nothing to distract from the sharp jawline and days-old stubble. His dark hair was slightly mussed, as if he had recently been running a hand through it. As beautiful as he was standing before you, you were most distracted by his mouth. It was lush and soft while still looking deliciously male and it was quirked up on one side like he was in on some kind of joke you had missed.

Loudly, someone cleared their throat and shook you out of your stare. You realized you had missed something as Karen looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk and Foggy was shaking his head while rolling his eyes.

You gave a little embarrassed chuckle as your cheeks flushed, “Um, sorry, what did I miss? I’m a little out of it, all the excitement and travel today.”

The beautiful man gave a full smile and you nearly stopped breathing again. He stepped forward and with one hand extended, he repeated,

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Matt Murdock.”

#matt murdock fic #matt murdock series #matt murdock x female reader #daredevil x female reader #daredevil fic #matthew murdock #conversations in the dark #miss pearl writes #yoosmekihyun

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kryptonitejelly · 2 years

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Conversations in the dark | Jake Seresin x Reader Top Gun: Maverick - Jake Seresin x Reader Genre: uh idk - i think … angst (but not really) / hurt / comfort / fluff (idk ok…..) Warnings: mentions of penetrative sex minors DNI; fighting; female reader. Length: Drabble / blurb

Summary: How you live your life with Jake - inspired by the song conversations in the dark.

A/N: As an FYI - this isn’t like anything I usually write or I have written. But this song always gets to me, although it sounds so happy.

Talk / Let's have conversations in the dark / World is sleeping, I'm awake with you / Watch / Movies that we've both already seen / I ain't even looking at the screen, it's true / I got my eyes on you

Jake enjoys the quiet of the night when he is with you. His life is normally hectic, roaring planes, near shaves with death, running from continent to continent, so the moments he gets to just be with you, are his favourites.

Whether it is running his hands through your hair, your head in his lap, the both of you watching a movie you have seen at least twenty times before; laying next to each other in bed, talking about everything and nothing; or you on his lap naked, taking in every inch of him, his fingers splayed across the bare skin of your hips, tongue swirling around the nipple of your bare breast - Jake loves it all.

So much of his life is spent is constant motion, perpetual uncertainty. Jake has to be “Hangman” outside, in front of the big, bad world - but with you, he gets to be just Jake.

And you say that you're not worth it / You get hung up on your flaws / Well, in my eyes you are perfect / As you are

Jake desires constant perfection in everything he does - the way he flies, the way he looks, the way the lines in his uniform crease. Anything short of those standards, is, to Jake - a flaw, his failure that eats him up alive.

He doesn’t show it to the world, to you, but you see it anyway from the way his eyes flash, his lips press together; from the way Jake returns home from the gym, his knuckles raw, and bloody, sweat plastering his hair to the sides of his face and nape of his neck.

You always make it a point to slide your hands on either side of his face, telling him “you’re enough”, while kissing him, lips, jaw, neck, face. You always taste the salt from his sweat, but you continue until you feel him relent, until you feel him let the tension go.

“You are enough Jake.”

I will never try to change you, change you / I will always want the same you, same you / Swear on everything I pray to / That I won't break your heart / I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely / Keep the secrets that you told me, told me / And your love is all you owe me / And I won't break your heart

Jake fights like he flies - he is brash, ruthless, and impactful. It is always loud, angry, hurtful and always ends with you both shouting at the top of your lungs, and you in tears. Jake is never violent towards you - but fighting with Jake hurts the both of you in a different way, it hurts the both of you inside.

After big fights, you end up sleeping apart, him on the couch and you in the bedroom. But Jake always comes back to you first, because while he won’t admit - it is lonely, without you. Your fights end with multiple whispered chants of “I’m sorry”, with urgent, desperate, needy, kisses, and Jake thrusting into like both your lives depended on it, a litany of “I love you” / “I fucking love you baby”, falling from his lips.

When you fight, you fight like hell with Jake, but you know he’ll never break your heart.

On Sunday mornings we sleep-in 'til noon / Well, I can sleep forever next to you / And we / We got places we both gotta be / But there ain't nothing I would rather do / Then blow off all my plans for you

On the Sundays he is home, you both always make numerous plans - whether to try something new, or go some place further; but you always end up making only half, or none of the plans - you both choosing instead to relish in the comfort of your shared bed, limbs, lips, hands, sheets, tangled up around each other.

Your Sundays pass in the same way as the earth spins on its axis, but there is no other way either of you would have it.

When no one seems to notice / And your days, they seem so hard / My darling, you should know this / My love is everywhere you are

You wear his love close to his heart, in the form of a necklace you never take off, and he wears yours on his wrist, a watch, the bracelet marked from years of use.

Jake loves you everywhere - feet on the ground or 10,000 feet above.

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whats-in-a-username · 2 years

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At that point in my life where I FINALLY understand why people cry when they hear certain songs.

Exhibit A:

#quotes #poetry #song of the day #song of the week #song of the decade #john legend #conversations in the dark #what a song #Spotify #lyrics #lyrical masterpiece #im not crying you are

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

#amatonormativity #ask to tag (genuine)#i honestly *wish* conversations like this were things i was exposed to when i was younger...#...maybe then i'd've felt less of a need to surpress my aromanticism and asexuality...#...the feeling of brokenness still trails behind me sometimes because so many of us are taught that this all WILL happen...#...we WILL fall in love. we WILL have a nuclear family. we WILL be satisfied with this...#...and that this is the IDEAL for cishet patriarchal structures...#...and that /any/ deviation to the SLIGHTEST degree is that fault of the *individual*. who WOULDN'T want this life?#there's this idea like i said that maturity is gained as you almost... adhere to expectations...#...and that's genuinely dangerous to associate maturity with that and i hope you can fill in those gaps because it can get dark fast

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fromgoy2joy · 1 month

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I’m still nearly crying laughing from this interaction that happened yesterday.

I wore my Magen David in French lecture. It is 8:30 in the morning. I sat down next to this random girl that I’d never really seen before.

She looks at me for 0.7 seconds before starting to avidly sketch palestenian flags on her notes for the next hour and a half. Like pages and pages of the symbol, glancing at me the entire time.

Whoaaa, you really showed me up. I’m deeply offended and don’t know what to do with myself ! Help! I’m meeeeelting! The supposed Zionism in me is burning!!

Like I have no opinions on that flag. No grudge or resentment. But what makes someone go angry bird attack mode when seeing a symbol that’s Jewish adjacent?

#fromgoy2joy thoughts #jewish #jumblr #jewblr #jewish tumblr #jewish conversion #jewish convert #tw antisemtism #antisemitism #jewish humor #judaism stuff #jewish diaspora #dark jewish humor

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mehblahblah · 2 years

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Conversations that leave you smiling and with a warm heart>>>>>

#dumb conversations..we lose track of time #quotes #light academia #dark academia #my writing #my work #little notes #short quotes #meme #quotations #conversation

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matt-murdick · 2 months

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Spock: this is a remarkably intelligent creature, it’s a shame that only I can converse with her. also she says humans are ugly but I’m the handsomest.

Kirk: she likes your ears, huh?

Spock: of course she did. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that humans do not have such attractive ears.

McCoy: can I ask it a follow up question?

Spock: no.

#this is basically the conversation they have at the end of the episode #s1e26 #the devil in the dark #spock #james t kirk #leonard mccoy #star trek #tos #star trek tos

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feniksido · 6 months

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Discussing the failures of our predecessors and how to avoid them aka They should have given Gortash a Gun

#my art #enver gortash #the dark urge #bg3 #i couldnt stop thinking about the post that was like #gortash should be the single artificer in the game and he should also be the only one with a gun #yeah #durgetash #if you squint its there........#i do imagine this was a conversation had as durge was trying to perfect his murder fantasy by asking for clarification on the details #personally i think this is hilarious but i really only make content for myself so if no one else laughs thats YOUR LOSS

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pearlsdiamondsandvodka · 1 month

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the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

#if that conversation had kept going I would have started bawling!!#fully believe brennan was like ‘well oh shit this is getting dark and heavy quick let’s uh get some snow cones’#I will say I think Emily does a beautiful job here of showing teenage life #not a universal experience perhaps but definitely a common one #feeling so lost and insecure in who you are and under so much pressure to be a certain way #and her saying she doesn’t wanna exist #vs me resonating with ‘I don’t wanna die sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all’ lyrics #it was hard to watch ngl but it’s also bc Emily does Such a good job w emotional scenes!!#that woman is so emotionally invested you get emotional invested as well #if Emily axford cries I cry with her #and loved to see more of Sandra Lynn again <3 #damn good scene #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #sandra lynn faeth #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan

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fairydrowning · 1 year

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"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves— slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life."

– Thich Nhat Hanh

#enjoy you weekend and live in every moment either it's just reading your favorite book or just a simple conversation with anyone #dark academia #light academia #excerpts #fragments #poetry #books & libraries #romanticism #classic literature #book quotes #literature quotes #quotations #words

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takami-takami · 7 months

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Scent Kink!Keigo who's raptorial senses have been finely honed like a sharpened blade for as long as he can remember. For all his analytical prowess, he could never quite pinpoint the exact cause of his heightened senses. Perhaps it, like most things, is a combination of nature and nurture— avian DNA and brutal, militant training. The source matters little to him. Keigo has always been one for outcomes.

Scent Kink!Keigo who discovers pretty early on in your friendship that your scent is distinct. If he could put it into words, the first that would come to mind is warm. It smells warm when he sits next to you on the couch, bouncing his leg like a dog that smells something delectable right under its nose yet tries to behave and contain himself all the same. Your neck is perfectly bare. If he could just lean over and bury his nose in whatever crevice is most available, he'd die a happy man.

Scent Kink!Keigo who is actually so normal about your scent, all these years later. Sure, he memorizes your smell, conjures up the scent in his mind's eye whenever he has trouble sleeping at night. The thought of it soothes him, aids in building his picturesque fantasies of you holding him from behind and shushing the bad dreams away. But he's very normal about it. Of course he's attached— you're his best friend.

Scent Kink!Keigo who can't remember the first time your scent began to cause his pants to grow tight. He thinks it was that night you arrived late for your usual meetup, panting and running before throwing your arms around him and apologizing, promising you ran just to make sure he didn't wait too long. He remembers his eyes widening while his pupils shrunk to dots, overwhelmed by the potency of you invading every sense. It made his cock throb. He made an excuse to hide in the bathroom within the hour.

Scent Kink!Keigo who does a remarkable job at containing the whine in his throat when you show him around your new apartment, quickly discovering you didn't bother to put away your laundry basket before he arrived. Why should you worry about your best friend seeing it? Keigo would never hold ill intentions. Keigo would never stuff a pair of your panties in his back pocket, Keigo wouldn't dream of fantasizing the second he secures it, flashes of the misbehavior he could get up to conjured quickly in his mind.

Scent Kink!Keigo who fidgets and avoids your eyes when you insist he stay so you can feed him takeout that night. The weight of his prize stings against his thigh; and as much as he loves your company, something else is calling to his attention right now. He quickly makes an excuse, faking a dispatch call by your window and waving once before he takes flight.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's brain glitches when he gets home and realizes he has to decide what to do first: take out his cock to touch himself and relieve the pressure straining in his pants, or pull your used panties out of his pocket. He picks the second option.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's whining in his bed moments later, your scent finally rubbed across his face with his hand fisting between his legs. It's like static when he twists his wrist with each stroke, imagining the smell of sex in the air as you ride his cock. Eyes rolled into the back of his skull, he swears the scent of your freshly used panties is enough. At least for tonight. At least until he needs a little refresher for his memory and has to snag another.

Scent Kink!Keigo who thinks he's a degenerate. He's a pervert. He's a sick freak who gets off on his crush's panties stuffing his mouth to muffle his moans, his saliva drenching the poor fabric; and he's even sicker for getting his dick wet to the thought of you catching him and repeating those insults in his ear while you sit on his face. He's sick, imagining himself inhaling it right from the source, spilling all over his abdomen to the thought of it.

Scent Kink!Keigo who is entirely, utterly fucked when you decide to move in together as roommates. Trouble isn't something he considered before. He's too excited by the idea of being around you to consider the repercussions on his mental health to be in such close proximity to you when night falls.

Scent Kink!Keigo who doesn't know whether it's a blessing or a curse that your room is directly adjacent to his. He knows exactly when you're touching yourself in the next room over.

Scent Kink!Keigo who throws his head back with a groan, hand ghosting down his happy trail and sliding beneath his waistband to grab his swelling cock again.

#dark content #kind of #I wrote this in the backseat of a moving car like a degenerate instead of making conversation like a normal person #hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha thirst #bnha thirst #🖋 writing #🌶 spice #smut #x reader #fem clothes

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yoosmekihyun · 3 months

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Conversations in the Dark (pt. 6)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Word Count: 3.8k

Part Six

Karen decided it was time for a girls’ night. You had met Marci a couple times when you’ve dropped by the office with coffee or met Karen for lunch and the two of you got along so far. When Karen pitched the idea to you, you were a little nervous but thought a fun night without the sexual tension you felt with Matt would be a nice change. You knew Marci and Foggy were serious and could tell from how Foggy spoke about her that she was end game for him. Since you’d quickly grown to adore Foggy, this was the perfect opportunity to develop a friendship with Marci.

Marci suggested a nice dinner somewhere with an excellent bar and you quickly agreed. It was a little bit of a walk from the Nelson, Murdock, and Page office but doable and you could take a cab home. This was the first time you had the occasion to dress a little nicer than usual, so you took your time getting ready, enjoying the process. You couldn’t remember the last time you wore a dress or heels and decided to go for it tonight but made sure you took a bag large enough to slip a pair of flats in, just in case. You dabbed a small amount of your favorite perfume on your wrists and throat before giving yourself a final once over in your full-length mirror.

Your burgundy sweaterdress would help keep you warm under your coat in the early December chill while your heeled ankle boots did little for warmth but looked too cute to pass up. You were grateful to Karen for the reminder to pick up tights the last time you were out, knowing you may need them to help layer as winter fully set in. You felt girly and pretty and just excited to make a new friend and have a relaxing night out.

Walking to the office to meet Karen, you reflected on the last few months of your life. While you still missed your mom and had days where the grief kept you from functioning properly, those days were happening less and less. You felt you were exactly where you needed to be at this moment in your life and you knew your parents—your mom, stepdad, and biological father—would be pleased with the close relationship you and Karen had developed. As you arrived at the office and pulled open the outer door to head into the warmth of the building, you sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever was listening.

The office was quiet for a change as you entered through the interior door, finding it a little unsettling. The lights were on and Karen’s desk looked to be in a slight state of disarray as it was typically mid-day, not how she liked it when she was about to leave.

“Hello?” you called quietly.

You heard a chair move and steps towards the open door of Matt’s office before he stepped into the shared space. “Hey, Y/N, I didn’t know you’d be stopping by today.”

“Hey Matt,” you stepped over to give him a quick hug which he reciprocated without hesitation. As you started to pull away, he held you still with his hands as his face was buried in your hair and neck.

“You smell incredible,” he said softly.

“Oh,” you blushed at his compliment as he released his hold to let you step back. “It’s my favorite perfume, thank you.” You stood staring at him, noticing a light bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip. “Matt, what happened?” you asked as you gently stroked the bruised area to indicate what you meant. You started looking him over for other injuries, your night out pushed to the back of your mind with your concern for him.

“It’s nothing, I promise. I like to box from time to time and stopped a couple of the punches with my face. It’s no big deal.”

“Well, I disagree, I think it is a big deal,” you started, scolding him lightly, “I happen to like your face, so you need to be more careful with it.”

“You do, huh?” Matt smirked at your admission. You could have smacked yourself for confessing it so plainly but decided to go with it. You could moan and groan to Karen and Marci later over drinks.

“Come off it, Matt. You know you’re beautiful, I’ve heard the stories from Foggy about all the ladies over the years.”

“Maybe I’m just charming?” Matt countered, grinning fully now. “But we seem to have gone from you liking my face to finding me beautiful. That’s a big jump, sweetheart.”

“Ah, goddamn it,” you murmured softly as you looked up for some deity to save you from yourself.

Chuckling at your distress, Matt stepped forward and slipped a hand under your open coat to rest it on your lower back and tugged you closer to him. Without his glasses and his face so close to yours, you could see how beautiful his hazel eyes were as his gaze rested on your cheek. You were trembling slightly at the intense need that flooded your system at his closeness and touch. Matt took a deep inhale and closed his eyes as if he were trying to keep his composure. The hand on your back flexed slightly and his other hand came up to brush away the piece of hair that managed to get stuck in your lip gloss. He tucked the stray hair behind your ear and your eyes looked longingly at his mouth. As if he knew, Matt slowly licked his lips before taking another inhale and groaning softly.

“For the record, I find you quite beautiful as well.”

“I’m not sure that’s possible,” you whispered.

“I don’t have to be able to see to know that you are,” Matt responded with a slight frown.

“No, I don’t mean that,” you clarified softly, “I just mean that I’m not beautiful. I’ve been called cute, pretty on special occasions, but never beautiful. So, I think you may be mistaken.”

Matt pulled back slightly in shock at your response but before he could formulate a reply, the door burst open as Karen and Foggy rushed inside. They both froze at the sight before them, and you flushed a dark crimson at getting caught in a semi-intimate position with Matt again. You stepped away from Matt and cleared your throat, “You ready to head out Karen?”

“Um…yeah…” Karen slowly responded as she walked to her desk to drop the paperwork in her hand.

“What is happening right now?” Foggy asked, still frozen and looking from you to Matt and then glancing at Karen before moving his gaze back.

“We’re having a girls’ night with Marci. Didn’t she tell you?” You responded, keeping your eyes on Foggy and Karen, avoiding Matt’s reaction.

“I think she mentioned it but that is not what I meant.”

“Well, I just came to meet Karen and then we’re walking to the restaurant so, that’s what’s happening,” you answered, avoiding what you thought he was actually asking.

“We’re going to have to leave now to make it on time for the reservation,” Karen interjected as she observed the situation. You wore a nervous and slightly downcast expression while Matt was looking towards you with a mix of emotions and his hands on his hips as if he were going to start a cross-examination. Foggy, for his part was still rooted to his spot just inside the door with a look of bewilderment on his face.

“Right! Okay, have a good night, guys. Don’t work too late,” you said as you gave a haphazard wave and rushed out the door.

Karen followed you and whispered to Matt and Foggy as she pulled the door closed, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

The two of you walked quickly towards the restaurant in silence. Karen wanted to give you time to settle and relax with a couple drinks before getting you to divulge what she had just witnessed. You were praying that she would let what she saw drop but had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy.

Marci arrived just as you and Karen were opening the doors to the restaurant. Relieved she wasn’t kept waiting, the three of you exchanged greetings and quick hugs before checking in with the host. After checking your coats, the three of you were led to a booth in a far corner.

Drinks and dinner were ordered quickly and conversation began without mention of the incident. The longer you sat there, the more you found that you liked Marci and could see how she and Foggy worked well together, even if it wasn’t quite as obvious at the outset. Finishing your second gin and tonic, you laughed at story Marci was telling about a partner in her law firm.

“And he didn’t even bother locking the door! I walked in to give him the settlement paperwork and he was standing in the middle of his office with his pants in one hand and a hair dryer in the other! I’ve never seen someone turn that shade of red!”

Wiping away a tear, you commented, “You would think after getting caught drying his pants like that the first time he’d learn to lock the door! Or keep a spare set of pants at the office!”

“Those WERE his spare pants!”

The three of you cackled and you managed to flag down the waiter to order another round of drinks. As your laughter died down, you smiled at the women across from you and said, “This was such a good idea. I can’t remember the last time I went out like this.”

“Agreed!” started Marci as she sipped her fresh cocktail, “but Foggy Bear mentions that you join them at Josie’s pretty often.”

“Well, you know, it’s different with the guys…”

Karen saw her opening and pounced, “You mean it’s different with Matt.”

You flushed slightly at her call-out and just responded, “Mmhmm.”

“I am so out of the loop!” exclaimed Marci, “What is happening between you and Matt?”

You glanced at Marci and Karen, unsure of what to say. You settled on keeping it simple, “You know, he’s my neighbor and works with Karen so I see him a lot…that’s all.”

“That is so not all,” Karen quickly responded. She turned slightly to Marci while also keeping you in her periphery. “I have walked in on them twice now on the verge of kissing and when Y/N had us over for dinner, Matt was calling her sweetheart, and you could tell they completely forgot Foggy and I were at the table by the end of the night. I thought she was going to crawl into Matt’s lap during dessert!”

“Karen!” you admonished as you placed your cool hands on your cheeks in hopes to calm your flushing.

“Am I wrong?” Karen challenged.

“No,” you answered in a quiet voice.

“Let me get this straight,” Marci started using her lawyer voice as if she were presenting facts to the jury. “There is tension, like extreme sexual tension and you two literally live across the hall from one another but based on the way the two of you are talking about this, you haven’t even kissed yet?”

“Um…maybe? I mean, I feel the tension but I don’t know if Matt does.”

“Trust me,” Karen interjected, “Matt feels the tension. We all feel the tension.”

You dropped your head in your hands and groaned as Marci asked, “Okay, I gotta know, what is the problem here?”

What was the problem? you asked yourself. Honestly, there were two main issues that held you back and you took a moment to mull over the best way to explain.

“If I’m being honest,” you began hoping to explain yourself clearly, “there are two things holding me back right now. The first is that I know Matt is a flirt so I’m not sure if he’s flirting with me because it’s fun or because he’s actually interested.”

“He’s interested, trust me,” interrupted Karen.

“Is he? Because I’ve watched him flirt with other women in front of me when we’ve picked up coffee or even at Josie’s.”

“I am seriously going to have to have a talk with that man,” muttered Karen.

“I’m going to have to withhold judgement on your first point until I can see how he is with you,” Marci said. “However, based on Karen’s description and your reaction, I have a feeling there’s a difference between what he’s doing with you and what he’s doing out in the wild, so to speak. Sometimes people flirt to smooth over interactions that might be a little prickly otherwise.”

You considered Marci’s suggestion and filed it away to give more thought when you were fully sober. It seemed logical but you knew you couldn’t trust your judgement right now.

“You said two issues, what’s the second?” Karen asked.

You blew out a breath to help steady yourself. This was the issue that was truly getting in your way. “The second point has more to do with me. The best way to explain it is just that I’m not a fan of casual dating or hookups. I’ve been told that I’m the ‘relationship’ or ‘marriage’ girl and it’s true. And honestly, at this point in my life, I don’t want to get into something if the other person isn’t also looking for something long term.”

“I’m still not quite seeing the problem here…” Marci said.

“I’ve heard the stories about Matt from Foggy and Karen and I don’t judge him, but it doesn’t sound like he’s interested in settling down. I don’t want to ruin what is starting to be a lovely friendship or make things awkward for anyone.”

“For arguments sake,” started Karen, “have you tried casual dating?”

“Yeah, before mom got sick,” you threw back the rest of your drink and contemplated another. “It was awful. I can’t tell you the number of times I came home crying because some douchebag tried to pressure me into giving him a blowjob twenty minutes after meeting or the ones who basically negged me until I left.”

Karen reached over to pat your hand reassuringly and Marci gave you an understanding smile. You continued, “The worst one was when I tried a one-night stand. The sex was mediocre and after the guy answered the phone on speaker and it was another girl he was arranging a hookup with for that night! I think I scrubbed off a layer of skin in the shower that night; the whole thing made me feel used and disgusting.”

“Matt would never treat you that way, if you guys did just hook-up, you know,” Karen said softly.

“I know, and it’s not about how I think Matt would treat me in that kind of situation. It’s more that I just can’t do it and I don’t want to end up resenting Matt because of a choice I made. At this point, I like him too much for a casual thing to be enough for me anyways.”

Marci looked at you with a shrewd but not unkind expression as she tapped the glass she was holding thoughtfully. “Based on conversations with Foggy Bear and what I’ve witnessed over the past couple years, I would say that Matt may be at a point where he’s ready to settle down. Karen, have you heard about any hookups lately?”

Karen thought for a moment as you watched her, “Actually I think it’s been several months, even before you moved here, Y/N.”

You felt your heart flutter with hope in your chest, “Really?”

Marci continued, “To be perfectly honest, I thought Karen was going to be the one to tie Matt down.”

The hope you felt fluttering in your chest sunk like a rock into the pit of your stomach. “What do you mean?”

Your question caused both Marci and Karen to freeze as you waited for an answer. “Did you and Matt date, Karen? Was it serious?”

Karen sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “We went on a couple dates and kissed but that was it. This was a few years ago, not too long after I met him.”

“Why didn’t it work out?” you asked quietly as you fiddled with the napkin in your lap.

Karen thought for a moment and you appreciated that she was attempting to give you honest answers rather than brush away the information and what you were feeling. “I think in part it was timing,” she began, “and then a lot of things happened that drove a wedge between us. We were able to come back from it all to be friends but we missed our window and the romantic feelings weren’t there anymore.”

“So,” you began nervously, “you know the romantic feelings weren’t there for you but they could still be there for Matt?”

“They’re not,” Karen quickly answered.

“How do you know? Did you two ever actually talk about it after things settled down?”

“Well, no, but I can tell it’s not there for him anymore either. If it were, he wouldn’t be flirting with you, Y/N.”

You sat quietly as your thoughts swirled in your head. You knew you couldn’t think through all of this new information logically, but it didn’t stop your emotions from swelling and a tear sliding down your cheek.

Karen panicked slightly and glanced at Marci who appeared equally as alarmed. Sliding in the booth closer to you, Karen put an arm around you to help ground you and to pull your focus. “Hey,” she said softly, “what’s going on? Why are there tears?”

“How can he want to be with me when he could be with you Karen?” you whispered. “You’re so beautiful and I know we’re sisters but we’re not physically alike at all. I know he can’t see us but the difference is going to be so obvious he’s not going to want me if he could have you.”

“He can’t have me, Y/N,” Karen replied softly.

“You know what I mean,” you sniffled.

Marci, having heard your quiet response to Karen, reached across the table for your hand. You obliged and slipped yours into her waiting one and she clutched it tight. “Why do you think so poorly of yourself, Y/N? From what I can tell, you’re a smart, driven, kind, lovely person, inside and out, and you are WAY out of Matt’s league.”

You laughed softly and wiped at your tears with your napkin. “I’m not sure about that last part,” you began, “I can usually keep the negative self-talk at bay, but it always rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times.” You sighed and decided to tell them the rest, to get it all out on the table. “I don’t want to be anyone’s consolation prize or backup plan. I’ve been that before and it hurts too much.”

“What makes you say that Y/N? What happened?” Karen asked gently.

You cleared your throat and started fidgeting with your napkin again. “The boyfriend I had in college told me when he broke up with me. He wanted to date my friend but she was already in a relationship so he pursued me so he could basically have a warm body but also to have a chance to hang out with my friend more.”

“Motherfucker,” spat Marci in disgust.

“Oh, it gets better, or I guess, worse,” you laughed bitterly. “When my friend and her boyfriend broke up, he waited just long enough and swooped in after being her shoulder to cry on. They hooked up and started dating. Only after did he tell me and break up with me.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Karen said with outrage in her voice.

“I wish I was. I wish I could say they both got their comeuppance, and it blew up in their faces but…”

“No,” whispered Marci.

“Yep, they’re married now.”

“Jesus Christ,” Karen said before finishing her drink. “No wonder you feel this way. You know Matt would never do that to you, right?”

“I know, but it doesn’t mean the insecurity and fear just goes away. I guess the surprise of this history with you two brought these old emotions back to the surface.” You ran your hands through your hair to try and shake off the baggage that decided to make an unwelcome appearance on what was supposed to be a fun night.

“I’m sorry for dumping on you guys, I think my drinks were a little stronger than I expected,” you chuckled.

Karen looked at you thoughtfully and then asked, “You mentioned a while back that no one had managed to get you off or really even turn you on much before. Is what you mentioned, the boyfriend and disgusting casual dates all you’ve experienced? Like have you ever dated anyone at least considerate and sweet to you, even if the chemistry wasn’t there?”

You shook your head sadly, “When I decided to moved here, I thought that maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me. I’ve been lucky enough to have an amazing family and the career of my dreams. Maybe it was just too much for the universe to give me a romantic love on top of it all?”

Marci’s eyebrows were practically in her hairline with the skeptical look she was giving you. “You know it’s not like a pie, right? Love and happiness aren’t finite things.”

“I get that in theory, but it hasn’t seemed to pan out in my life that way.”

“Maybe,” Karen interjected, “it’s because you weren’t supposed to meet anyone yet. So you could focus on your family like you did the last couple years. And now you’re ready to find that romantic love?”

You stared at the table with a frown on your face. You hadn’t really considered that timing may have been the biggest factor. With all the caretaking and death that happened in the last few years, along with juggling your budding writing career, you don’t know if you would have been able to give a romantic relationship the attention it deserved.

“Can we rewind for just a second?” Marci started, “Did I hear Karen right that none of these guys, even that piece of shit boyfriend in college, ever managed to get you off?”

Snapping your head up you looked at Marci and then sagged back into your seat. “Not one. Not even close.”

“This is a travesty,” Marci said with indignation. “Please tell me you’ve at least ascribed to the school of self-love?”

You laughed at Marci’s phrasing and the genuine smile on your face relaxed the two other women into smiling with you. “Oh, I am well-versed. You could say I have a double PhD—one in history and one in orgasms.”

The three of you laughed and Marci flagged the waiter for a final round of drinks. Once they arrived, she lifted her glass and you and Karen followed suit. “A toast for you, Y/N. May Matt Murdock get on his knees and atone for the disappointing past lovers! And sooner rather than later!”

Flushing from the alcohol and her toast, you clicked glasses with your friends and hoped Marci’s toast would become a reality.

#matt murdock fic #matt murdock series #matt murdock x female reader #daredevil fic #daredevil x female reader #matthew murdock #conversations in the dark #miss pearl writes #yoosmekihyun

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