#copypasta

[sasha-psychedelia]

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud "thud" as you take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times.

To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator.

You're crying now.

The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

#196 #copypasta #sps69 #big guns

[clevercorvidae]

so bECAUSE OF DREAMS FACE REVEAL I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID DREAM AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “HE FACE REVEALED??!?” AND THEN HE WATCHED THE VIDEO ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT DREAMUPDATES UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD

#copypasta #since yall need it so bad

[plotsignificanthaircut555]

I found my Eva Title Card Generator tab again

#send lame more copypastas #neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #nge #in the stripped club #straight up jorkin it #copypasta #shinji ikari #misato katsuragi #rei ayanami #asuka langley soryu #gendo ikari #end of evangelion

[hellsitegenetics]

*HISS HISS HISS* *RUFF RUFF RUFF * *BARK BARK* EXCUSE ME Teacher, could we PLEASE turn off the lights? The LED artificial lightbulbs are HARMFUL to my NATURAL WOLF EYES Which change color depending on my mood... What do you mean you don’t believe me? They turn YELLOW when I’m happy, RED when I’m REALLY, REALLY angry And GREEN when I’m on the HUNT. SPEAKING of meal time, YOU look like you could suffice for my AFTERNOON Wolf Snack BUT, I will refrain because my mother said if I get sent to the principal’s office ONE MORE TIME for BITING somebody , then SHE will take away my Wii! HOWEVER, I cannot say I’ll do the same for Marissa, The CAT GIRL, who’s been flirting with my crush Jake all week Look at them over there.. laughing *A HÉÊ HËÆ HÂÊ* FLIRTING, like I DON’T EXIST! No happiness that a Wii game can bring me, Will compare to THAT which I WILL FEEL, when JAKE is MINE! *MY EYES TURN GREEN*

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Closest match: Lasioglossum lativentre genome assembly, chromosome: 7 Common name: Furry claspered furrow bee

#tumblr genetics #asks #requests #sent to me #copypasta #insects #bugs #bees #furry claspered furrow bee

[mcytblrconfessions]

WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at pvp, killed me at least 8 times in PvP games, yet i have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart.

#confession #cc: grian #copypasta #mcytblrconfessions greatest shits

[ryro-everyday]

#ryan ross #ryro #ryan patd #panic! at the disco #panic at the disco #p!atd #twitter #copypasta #emo #emo trinity #the young veins

[good-advice-ganondorf]

#loz #the legend of zelda #tloz #ganondorf #not good advice #copypasta

[almost-correct-quotes]

everyone watching seinfeld please remember the main characters are supposed to be aspirational characters to admire and emulate. the point is that they're protagonists you can relate to and idolise, which is what makes it so good.

#copypasta #seinfeld #couldn't decide which of the main four would be best for this (besides kramer. kramer isn't as morally dubious) so all four ig

[jeromepowell]

🏦🍗Happy BANKS-giving🍗🏦 to all my 💵 finance 🅱️itches & 🅱️ros 🔥today 📅 might be a bank holiday 🎉but it’s also a 👐SPANK 🙌 HOLIDAY 🤤🫣 it’s time ⏰ to get your crush’s ⬆️ INTEREST ⬆️ rates UP 🔝 to handle INFLATION 👀🍆 so you can 🦃GOBBLE🍽️ that 🍑 and get STUFFED 🥴 by your favorite 💦LARGE DEPOSITOR💦 remember to PUT ➡️ that TURKEY 🦃 in your OVEN 🔥 and CALL ☎️ your hottest 🥵 SLUTS 💋 to lock 🔒 in that sexy 👅 bid-ASS SPREAD 🤸‍♂️ finish that CUMkin🎃 PIE 🥧 and be THANKFUL 👆🙏 nonperforming📉loans aren’t the 🅾️nly thing getting SUBBED 😈⛓️tonite 💯

📬 send 📩 this to your 🔟 highest 📈investors📊 to THANK 🫶 BANK 💰 and YANK ✊💦them

#thanksgiving #copypasta #interest rates #finance #jay speaks #I’m sorry I think this might be the worst thing I have ever typed

[mayor-of-losertown]

I must not mid-afternoon nap. Mid-afternoon naps are the good-night's-sleep-killer. Mid-afternoon naps are the little death that brings total obliteration etcetera etcetera I'm too lazy to finish this copypasta

#meme #dune #copypasta

[biblepercent]

okay, what about the Navy Seals copypasta? it's a classic and it doesn't seem like it has already been sent

Am I just reviewing copypasta now? Ok then.

78.4% of those words are in the Bible, unlike Bee movie person I'll actually paste it here

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

#asks! #Anonymous #submissions! #copypasta #over 75%

[sasha-psychedelia]

SCP-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

#196 #copypasta #scp #sps69

[kaialone]

#yeah #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #faust guilty gear #dr. baldhead guilty gear #copypasta #guilty gear spoilers #??? #its really not #im sorry

[mcytblrconfessions]

why has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, killed me at least 8 times in PvP games yet i have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart! It is disproportionate to the rest of the games statistically

#confession #copypasta

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I kept seeing some copypasta going around that went like, “(celebrity) was working their 3:30pm shift at the Yogurt Shack.” The punchline was basically that the Yogurt Shack blew up with their fav inside it but I’m not sure how I got that info because they never put it in the copypasta.

#dream #text #March 25th 2024 #copypasta #yogurt shack

[geneslovee]

at least trent is gay. its like i always say. at least trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. dont cry ok? trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. whn all else fails. trent is gay. we'll always have. trent is gay

#ted lasso #copypasta #gene talks #trent crimm