#corpse is always such a fun addition to any group of people

[cupofwords]

Collecting songs for Brianna’s song-book

Brianna is a character I play in a D&D campaign we started a bit more than a year ago. She is a satyr-bard and always on the lookout for new additions in her song book. Before the beginning of the campaign the DM asked all players to provide a background of their character. So this is the story I wrote for Brianna (whose name is different in the beginning) and at the same time it has been a great and fun exercise in character creation and world building:

Once upon a time...

Berenike grows up in Parnassus, a village in the High Forest. The races of different forest creatures living there, such as elves, centaurs or, like Berenike, satyrs, see themselves as one big family. It is there a strictly organized coexistence, governed by rigid rules of the cult of Maenads. Parnassus does not appear on any usual map and is very secluded in other ways. Family members are encouraged not to leave the lands of the village because beyond its borders are only wasteland, danger, and death. Berenike does not question these rules she grew up with.

When she is about eight years old, the gnome Merxim Zidlezadle appears in Parnassus, an archaeologist who has been searching for the cult for a long time. He tells exciting stories of strange peoples and the world outside Parnassus, which most of the villagers dismiss as spinning. Berenike, however, listens and begins to wonder if Parnassus is really the whole world.

Merxim, in turn, is looking for answers, and the cultists are happy to give them to him. They give him information about their rituals and customs, which he receives and documents quite surprised. As a sign of their good will, they give him a replica of their stone altar in the form of a medallion. On it, in a seasonal circle, are depicted the most important rituals of the Maenad cult.

As Merxim prepares to leave, he is seen off with a great feast. Berenike, curious about the origin of his stories, secretly disappears from Pernassus and follows Merxim. He appreciates her keen interest and gladly accepts her as his pupil. As proof of his trust, Merxim gives her the medallion for safekeeping. For a few days the two travel during the day, and in the evenings Berenike is taught archaeology. One evening, as she wanders through the forest in search of firewood – one of the tasks of her new life – she hears muffled sounds of a fight and shortly thereafter observes the best fighter in her village frantically searching Merxim's corpse. Berenike doesn't wait to see if her disappearance has been ruled treason, which is, after all, punishable by death. She flees. The fighter follows her tracks, but soon loses them and does not go far beyond the limits of the permitted world.

Some time later, which may have seemed like weeks to Berenike, she comes upon paths that merge with more and more paths and eventually lead to Star Town. Too young to fend for herself, she is taken in by local tavern owners Caelan and Liliana Glissane – kind and warm-hearted half-elves who value honest work and expect it from their foster daughter. Berenike takes the name Brianna from then on. She wants to leave her former life behind and show belonging to her foster parents through the name.

Brianna quickly settles into Star Town. She still loves stories and they are omnipresent here: there are stories of traveling heroes, of great deeds, of love stories and all sorts of other incidents. Star Town was founded by a group of heroes, among them a great bard and storyteller who left his mark. Recipes are written down in the form of stories, all sorts of documents in the archives are told rather than factually recorded, all children's games are connected with rhymes, and for almost every occasion there is a suitable proverb.

She realizes that stories are, on the one hand, a way to experience the world and, on the other hand, to make it experienceable for others. After her time full of lies in Parnassus, she has a lot of catching up to do and a lot of stories to read. Star Town is just the place for that.

At least she was given a sense of music in Parnassus through the numerous rituals, which she also seems to have in her blood – in all the storybooks she gets her hands on here, she finds numerous illustrations of satyrs, and each of them also features a musical instrument. Caelan and Liliana recognize her potential and, in addition to kitchen duties, have her join the town band, where she is allowed to participate with a borrowed old harp.

As agents of the Harpers, Brienna's parents strive to pass on to her the values and beliefs of that organization. Soon she is included in meetings with traveling Harpers and is given the title of "Watcher".

For her 20th birthday, when Brianna is released from kitchen duties and into freedom, but must now provide for her own income, she is given her own harp by her parents (as she now refers to them). It was made by the local instrument maker, who – if it is true – was also once allowed to build an instrument for the great bard Purr.

When Brianna leaves soon after to learn stories from other regions, her parents bid her a wistful farewell, wish her luck and send her off to write her own destiny.

... since then Brianna found some new friends in her party, charms people with music, (got lost in the jungle of chult but has not died.. yet) and incorporated kobold-rock, tabaxi-street-music, orc-funeral-music, aarakocra-ballads, naga-philosophy (which is a “song” consiting of silence, as nagas are creatures older than time, thus arts won’t make sense to them) and some other songs in her music repertoire.

I also made her my new Larp-character, as playing a bard is an excellent excuse to bring my harp and of course spend some time playing it. (shoes are still missing though)

The mini in the above picture was by the way custom made on Hero Forge, which I highly recommend to anyone playing a tabletop RPG: https://www.heroforge.com/

#d&d #bard #satyr #character creation #worldbuilding #swordcoast #side projects #larp #hero forge #harp

[georgelore]

That was fun

#corpse is always such a fun addition to any group of people #but especially with someone like karl because they vibe so well with eachother #i really appreciate karl trying to switch up the jackbox group and inviting corpse #i woke up randomly with a migraine so this was a great distraction #and now it's almost 8am so i'm gonna go back to sleep if my head lets me #goodnight

[whiteqnn]

PURE [3] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

A/N: Over 1 thousand notes. You guys are insane. I can’t see any other explanation.

Thank you so much for all the love and support under the previous parts, all those comments just absolutely made my day! I would never expect this story to receive such a positive feedback, which I’m extremely grateful for! 

Anyway, I decided to add some additional plot to this story - mainly, the sudden criticism and hate directed on Y/N after the last Among Us stream. I thought it would make things more interesting.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the third part ^^

part 1

part 2 

part 4 

part 5

PURE [3]

Y/N stared at her phone screen, reading through the latest tweets of her friends inviting their fans to watch their streams. It was Thursday evening and just as it was planned, everyone was getting ready for another game of Among Us. Just as she would do if it wasn’t for all those comments...

The last stream caused sudden, unexpected amounts of attention on her social media. She probably shouldn’t be that surprised by it, given the fact that by appearing in Sean’s and Felix’s videos she wasn’t all that strange to their fans. But people who watched Rae, Toast, or Corpse’s streams didn’t know her. And apparently, some of them weren’t that happy to see a new face among the group of well-known gamers. 

She always tried to avoid the unnecessary spotlight as much as she could, preferring to stay hidden somewhere behind other, much more popular streamers. And it never bothered her. She was never one to enjoy too much attention anyway.

That’s why when she discovered how upset, or even angry, some people were when she played with all those famous streamers, she was quite shocked, to say the least. 

Like all those comments under Poki’s tweet, in which she mentioned who’s gonna be playing this time...

“Duh, why’s that Y/N chick supposed to play with them again? There are at least hundreds of other, much more popular streamers I can think of who would be better than her.”

“Who the fuck is she anyway? Why’s she there?”

“lmao, some random girl who got lucky enough to know jacksepticeye. Don’t get why she’s playing with them though.”

“NOT HER AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD SHE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LAST TIME”

Sure, she wasn’t as famous as Felix, or Sean, or Rae, or anyone else for that matter. Her audience wasn’t very small, but it was nothing compared to the number of fans other YouTubers had. It was understandable that most people didn’t know who she was, and didn’t understand why she was there in the first place.

She was, in fact, just some random girl who was lucky to have Sean as her friend. But in a group of such great and well-known streamers, she definitely stood out like a sore thumb. 

Y/N almost jumped in her seat when her phone beeped with a new message, Sean’s nickname showing up at the top of her screen. 

Jackaboy: We’re starting in a few kiddo

Jackaboy: But join the call now so we can both make fun of Felix

After the last game, she was so excited and couldn’t wait for this evening. She looked forward to cooperating with Sykkuno again, to arguing with Toast, to laughing with Sean and Felix, to murdering other people with Corpse... Yet now, all this excitement seemed to vanish just like the mood to play, let alone talk with other people. They would surely see right through her and try to make her spill the beans, which would ruin the stream. And the last thing she wanted was to ruin their game.

Jackaboy: You there Y/N??

She sighed, thinking of some believable excuse that wouldn’t arouse suspicion, but her mind was flooded with all those comments and DMs she received over those past days, which expressed nothing but hatred towards her. 

Y/N: I’m really sorry Sean, but I don’t think I will be joining you today... I don’t feel very well. 

She waited for Sean’s reply impatiently, expecting him to send her some angry emoji or tell her to move her ass and join the discord call. What she didn’t expect though, was that he would facetime her. 

Her first instinct was to throw her phone across the room as if it would make Sean stop calling. He wouldn’t stop unless she’d tell him the truth. 

So she cleared her throat and plastered the widest smile on her face, before answering his call.

“Alright, what is going on?” Sean asked right away, staring at her with his brows furrowed. He wasn’t in his recording room, but in his kitchen, which meant that he left his stream to call her. “And please don’t tell me you’re sick cause I won’t believe it anyway. And neither will Pewds.”

“I’m tired, Sean... I was working late again and I really need to rest.” she lied, trying to keep her voice steady and calm. She really didn’t want Sean to interrogate her now, not when his fans were waiting for him. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else though. Please tell the guys that I’m sorry”

“Y/N, c’mon, cut this bullshit. What’s wrong?” he asked softly, moving his phone closer to his face. “You know you’re a terrible liar, just tell me what happened. If you don’t wanna play then neither do I.”

“Sean, please don’t do it” she shook her head with a sigh. “Your fans are waiting for you, I’ll be fine.”

“Well they’re waiting for you too you dummy, I already promised them you’ll be playing with us tonight” he stated matter of factly, rolling his eyes. Y/N remained silent for a moment, and Sean suddenly furrowed his brows, narrowing his eyes at her in a suspicious look. “Did someone tell you something rude last time we played? Who and what?”

“What? No, Sean, oh my God. Everyone was super nice, it has nothing to do with the last stream... not with you guys, at least.” she mumbled under her breath, dropping her eyes from Sean’s confused face.

“What do you mean not with you guys? Y/N, what the hell happened?” he demanded, slowly getting more and more worried. She wouldn’t tell him though, too scared that Sean would just laugh it off, even though he also sometimes had problems with dealing with hate. And just as if he was reading her mind, Sean sighed, his face softening in a sad smile. “You’ve read the comments, didn’t you?”

She felt so stupid for being so easily offended by comments of some random people on the Internet, that she just nodded her head meekly, still looking anywhere but at the man. 

“Look kiddo... I’m not gonna tell you to get yourself together and just ignore them, cause it won’t help, and I know cause I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still there.” he chuckled to himself and continued “Anyway, you really shouldn’t be worrying yourself about people who don’t even know you. They don’t know you, Y/N, why would some complete stranger’s opinion matter to you?”

“They said I shouldn’t be playing with you guys... that I’m nothing but a burden and you should be playing with someone who’s at least recognizable.”

“Well excuse me Miss, last time I checked I could choose who the fuck I want to play with.” Sean scoffed, clearly irritated by such comments “You’re one of my best friends Y/N and I don’t give a fuck what some haters say. And neither should you.”

“Maybe you should just invite someone else... It would make everyone happy.” she muttered almost inaudibly, but Sean almost barked at her when he heard her words.

“I told you to cut that bullshit, Y/N! Everyone couldn’t wait for this game and now you wanna back out? C’mon, kid. Do you have any idea how heartbroken Sykkuno’s gonna be? When you left so quickly last time, he kept complaining that he has no one to team up with.” she couldn’t help but smile at that, letting out a tiny giggle. “And Corpse? Have you even seen his last tweet?”

“What? No, I- I don’t follow him...” she said, wondering what Sean was talking about. She quickly searched for Corpse on Twitter, still being on facetime with Sean, and her heart almost dropped when she saw the last tweet.

@.Corpse_Husband Really excited for tonight’s Among Us stream, 8PM PST.

Jacksepticeye

Valkyrae

Pewdiepie

Pokimane

Sykkuno

Disguised Toast 

Logic 

Mr Beast

and, hopefully, my partner in crime - Little Y/N 

:)

She stared at the screen with her eyes widened, and her lips corners curling up in a small, bashful smile. It was so nice of Corpse to mention her as well, especially with the nickname that he seemed to like so much since their last game. 

“God, if you could see yourself right now. How’s it that my pep talk didn’t do shit, but Corpse’s tweet magically made you smile, ugh.” Sean reminded her of his presence, and she quickly returned to the call, trying to somehow control her burning cheeks. 

“It’s not like that, Sean, I really appreciate that you’re trying to cheer me up... I just didn’t expect your friends to like me...” she admitted quietly, and if Sean could, he would probably strangle her at that moment. 

“I JUST TOLD YOU THAT SYKKUNO KEPT BUGGING ME ABOUT YOU FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS. YOU THINK HE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOU IF HE DIDN’T LIKE YOU?!”

“I just... what if they’re just being nice, but they don’t actually want me to play with them?”

“I’m done.” Sean groaned, shaking his head furiously. “Alright, here’s what you’re gonna do. You stay away from your phone, join the discord call, say hi to everyone, and we’re all gonna have fun, okay? If not, Pewds is gonna murder you, cause he was already growing impatient even before I called you.”

“I’m still not sure if that’s a good idea, Sean...”

“But I am sure, Y/N! Now come on, we’re playing in five. I’m telling everyone you’re joining as well.”

And before she could even reply, he hung up. Y/N groaned, rushing to her computer to turn it on. Now it would just be plain rude not to join the game, especially after Sean wasted his time talking with her, while he should be talking to his fans. Just as he suggested, she kept her phone far away from her desk, deciding to stay away from Twitter and all those comments for a bit. Maybe it would help her clear her mind and at least try to have some fun. 

An invite to the group call was already waiting for her, along with a message from Sean with a code to the game. Y/N put her headphones on before joining the call and quickly typing in the code. 

“... so let me repeat myself. I ALWAYS sound guilty, no matter what. Please, guys, don’t vote me out!” 

Y/N shook her head with a smile on her lips when the first thing she heard after joining the call was Felix’s pleading voice. Clearly, he was already trying to save his own ass even before the game began.

 Y/N could hear Sean’s loud voice as he commented on Felix’s plea with some snarky remark, later also catching the sounds of Rae’s laughter. Everyone was already there, they’ve been clearly waiting for her to join. 

“Hey, look who’s finally here! Hi Y/N!” Poki noticed her presence first. 

“Hello everyone” Y/N said, as shy and quiet as usual.

“Oh, Y/N! It’s so great to see you again, I was worried you weren’t joining us tonight” Sykkuno said, a pout clear in his voice. 

“WELL ABOUT DAMN TIME” Felix all but yelled, making her roll her eyes with a smile. “What did I tell you about being late?!”

“Give her a break Felix, her mic wasn’t working again... Luckily, I was there to save the damsel in distress” Sean said, and even though she couldn’t see him, Y/N was almost certain that he was smirking. 

“Yeah, I’m really sorry guys to have kept you waiting so long...” Y/N said, feeling genuinely bad. Maybe Sean was right after all? They could have just invited someone else, and yet they decided to wait for her.  

“It’s okay, you’re here now and it’s all that matters” a deep voice sounded out, and whether she liked it or not, Y/N grinned like an idiot with a blush rising up her cheeks. 

“Shit, here we go again...” Felix sighed, making everyone else laugh. Y/N bit at her lower lip, feeling her heart thump in her chest as she felt a sudden wave of courage, deciding to speak up despite her initial shyness:

“Well... I couldn’t just leave my partner in crime alone, right?” she asked, and she could swear she heard Corpse stutter as if he completely didn’t expect her to say that.  

“Ah yes, after all, killing wouldn’t be the same without her, right Corpse?” Toast teased, repeating Corpse’s words from the last stream. Everyone in the call laughed, Y/N included. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling, even though just mere minutes ago she was on the verge of crying. “It’s good to have you here, Y/N/N. Maybe I’ll actually get a chance to finally kill you this time.”

“Jesus Christ, Toast. You sound like a psychopath. Hey, I’m happy you’re here, lemme stab you in the back, please?” someone whose nickname was MrBeast spoke up with a chuckle, before directing his next words to Y/N “I believe we haven’t played together before, I’m Mr Beast, it’s really nice to meet you Y/N”

“Yeah, pleased to meet you!” another player, Logic, spoke up “I also didn’t have a chance to play with you yet, but I’ve seen Sean’s last stream... Let me just say, that Toast murder was absolutely perfect!” 

“Wow. And here I almost managed to block it out. I’m fucking traumatized Y/N, you should be ashamed of yourself” Toast scoffed over Felix’s laughter. 

“You should be proud of yourself!” Sean interfered “Just so you know lads, Y/N may seem like a little angel, but she’s a little demon. You’ve been warned.” 

“Yeah, she’ll charm you with her voice only to snap your neck next second.” Felix scoffed.

“Just like she did with Corpse!” 

“Charm?!” Y/N gasped, her cheeks burning.

“I don’t recall Y/N killing me...” Corpse said in his low voice. 

“I love how that’s the only thing he denied” Poki pointed out in a teasing voice, which only made Y/N sink further into her chair. 

“Can we please start the game now?” she asked in a pleading voice, hoping that everyone would stop making fun of Corpse and her. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he felt, for some reason being the target of their jokes... They must’ve made him feel awkward, right? 

“Jack, did you tell Y/N how we’re playing tonight?” Sykkuno asked, and she sighed in relief that they dropped the jokes. 

“Oh, right! So there’s this mod called proximity chat, where we’re able to hear each other as we pass by another person, and it seems quite fun so that’s what we decided to try out tonight.” Sean explained to Y/N, and before she could ask another question, he added “I’ve just sent you the link, it’ll take a minute to install it.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you Sean” Y/N said, before downloading the mod and quickly installing it. When everything was set and ready, she pulled up Among Us again and typed in the code, and the game finally began. 

“Woah”

“Holy shit!” 

“Guys this is so cool!” Sykkuno exclaimed, his voice so happy and excited that Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Okay, I’m scared now. I feel like encounters with Imposter are just gonna be perfectly cut screams” Felix chuckled, as they left the dropship and moved down the map. That’s when Y/N gasped in surprise, upon seeing the locations completely different than those she was used to.

“Wait- is that a different map?” she asked through her mic, hearing Toast’s distanced, devilish laugh. There was only Rae and Sykkuno beside her, as everyone else have already split up to do their tasks.

“Oh yeah, that’s Polus, it’s much more fun than the one we were playing in last time.” Rae explained happily and Y/N groaned. She didn’t know that map.

“Great. I don’t even know how am I supposed to do tasks in here...”

“Oh, it’s not that hard. They’re in most cases similar to those you already know, they only look a little bit different.” Sykkuno said in his kind voice, before asking “Do you want to team up again, Y/N?”

“I thought you would never ask Sykkuno” Rae chuckled under her breath.

“Yeah, that would be great! I need someone to show me around” she smiled. The trio finally moved from their spot beside the dropship and went to the left where, as Y/N later realized, was electrical. She quickly did her task in there, being under the watchful eyes of both Sykkuno and Rae.  

Before the latter could do his own task, the first body was reported.

“The body is in the lab” Felix said, and Y/N couldn’t help but smirk as she saw that it was Toast who was murdered first. One less person to accuse her or try to frame her, if he was the Imposter. 

“I just ran towards the lab from the left side, I only saw Poki on my way there” Corpse said right away, and the accused girl was quick to try and defend herself:

“Okay, I wasn’t in the lab, I was doing that engines task which is next to the lab.” 

“Did you see someone else there?” Jack questioned. 

“Nope, just me and the engines.” 

“Okay. Sykkuno, where are you?” the lime astronaut was next on Jack’s list of suspects, which made Sykkuno groan. 

“Why do you sound so suspicious right away?” he asked in disbelief, causing the rest to giggle “I was with Y/N and Rae all this time, we were all doing our tasks in electrical.”

“Is that true Y/N?”

“Yes Sean, that is true” she rolled her eyes with a laugh “I don’t even know this map, I have to stick with someone so I don’t end up like Toast.”

“Alright, what about rest? Logic? I think I saw you in admin but then you disappeared somewhere.” Felix said.

“Yeah I’m with Mr Beast in the office”

“That’s right” Mr Beast confirmed, which didn’t bring anything new to the investigation, so everyone decided to skip.

“Wo- Okay where are we now?” Y/N asked in surprise, when the new round began in some completely new place Sykkuno didn’t manage to show her yet. She could hear as Corpse laughed at her shocked voice, which made her smile widely.

“Yeah, I’m also not used to this new map yet” he admitted, his black astronaut walking up to her white one “Hey, wanna see something cool?”

“Sure!”

-

*Meanwhile Sykkuno*

“Okay this is bad guys, we lost Y/N” Sykkuno said to his mic, running around the map to find the girl he was earlier teamed up with. “I thought she followed us when the new round began, but she must’ve gone the other way... What if she’s dead already? Not good, not good...” 

-

"Woah! This looks amazing! Is there some task here as well?”

“Yes, there’s temperature recording right here” Corpse said, standing by the lava pit, watching as Y/N’s character ran back and forth over the pool of lava. 

“I wonder if you could jump into it. What do you think, Corpse?” she asked curiously, standing close to the edge. 

“Not that I’m aware of it...” he mumbled coming closer to the edge as well “Why would you jump into it?” he asked with a half-smile on his face. 

“So Felix can’t stab me in the back.” she whispered, even though there was no one around them. 

“You think it’s him?” Corpse mirrored her voice, and she hummed in response “Why?”

“He’s constantly suspicious of everyone, last time we played he also kept interrogating us all, without even telling his own location.” she stated as if it was very obvious. Corpse couldn’t help but let out a laugh “What? Why are you laughing at me?”

“Not at you, Y/N. I’m just impressed by your investigation skills” he admitted “In that case, we better both jump in. Felix likes to frame other people.”

“You wanna jump into the lava with me?”

“Sure I do.”

“There you are!” Sykkuno’s lime astronaut came out of nowhere, followed by Mr Beast. Two of them walked up to Y/N and Corpse, and before the latter could even say anything, Mr Beast snapped Y/N’s neck.

“WAIT, NO-”

“OH GOD, OH GOD” Sykkuno yelled in panic.

“KILL HIM CORPSE” Mr Beast screamed, frantically running around.

-

“What the heck?” Y/N stared at her screen in shock, her dead body laying over the lava pit. Mr Beast had already fled to the left, leaving her, Sykkuno and Corpse standing between two of them. None of them said anything for a moment before the black astronaut finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N” he kept repeating, regret clear in his voice. “And Sykkuno, I- I can’t even express how-”

He was cut off by Felix’s scream, who reported the bodies before Corpse could kill him as well.

“IT’S CORPSE ALRIGHT” Felix yelled right away “HE’S STANDING OVER Y/N AND SYKKUNO, HE HAS THEIR BLOOD ON HIS HANDS”

“That is- I did not kill them” Corpse replied, calm as ever, as opposed to his frantic apologies. 

“Then why were you standing there?! Without reporting the bodies?!”

“I was... mourning their death.” he replied, which caused the whole group to burst out laughing. “Seriously guys, you think I would murder Sykkuno? And Y/N? I would never even think of hurting them.”

“The simp is strong, we get it, but it doesn’t really save your situation” Rae laughed. 

“Let’s kick him out guys, he can’t even defend himself” Sean chuckled, and everyone else didn’t need to be told twice. Soon enough, Y/N watched as Corpse’s black astronaut was thrown into the lava pit... Oh, the irony...

The game continued with her wandering around the map, doing the rest of her tasks to at least support somehow her fellow crewmates. She stumbled upon Corpse’s ghost at some point and laughed wholeheartedly when he started circling her little character in something she read as an attempt to apologize. 

A little while later another body was reported, this time it was Felix who lost his life. Y/N didn’t really focus on the conversation this time, glancing at her phone instead. There was this urge to reach for it and check how people reacted to her joining the game, but she kept repeating Sean’s words in her head. There was no point in worrying about the opinion of somebody who doesn’t even know her... or at least that’s what she tried to convince herself to think. 

Her attention was brought back to the game when she heard the sound of a new message from someone who was also dead. She clicked on the chat, seeing that it was one of the Impostors.

Corpse: :(

Corpse: I’m sorry 

Y/N thought it was sweet of him to apologize for it, even though it was his main goal to murder everyone after all. She believed he was genuinely sorry for it, just like she was each time she was an Impostor and had to kill somebody.

Sykkuno: Welcome to the afterlife, Corpse!

She laughed at Sykkuno’s constant happiness, which was evident even in his messages, before typing one as well:

Y/N: We’re all corpse here

Sykkuno: Oh, so it means we’re all really cool then ^^

Y/N: Fair point

Corpse: See Y/N

Corpse: I told you I would jump into the lava for you 

Y/N: You didn’t exactly jump...

Corpse: :(

Y/N: But let’s say it counts as well :)

Corpse: :)

Before they knew, the voting ended. Mr Beast was thrown into the lava, which ultimately lead to the victory of crewmates. Y/N cheered happily, when the blue sign appeared on her screen, right above everyone else who was innocent. 

“Yaaay, the first time I wasn’t killed in the first game!” Sean announced enthusiastically, his astronaut running around the dropship.

“Yeah, and the first time it went so fast...” 

“Right? Corpse, I’m disappointed in you. What happened to the King of Impostors?” Rae asked.

“Well.. no matter how good you are, you can’t always win, right?” Corpse replied calmly.

“Hmm, you seemed kinda absent-minded during the game, though...” Poki suggested with a smirk hiding in her voice, and Rae was very quick to pick on it.

“Oh, you’ve noticed that too? Almost as if he was distracted by something” 

“I don’t know what are you talking about” he chuckled nervously, and Y/N just sat in her chair confused about what was going on. “Anyway, who’s up for another round?” 

“Yeah, I have an idea” Sean said, effectively shutting everyone up “What if we play something along the lines of hide and seek? Let’s have one impostor, and everyone else needs to get their tasks done before he finds them.”

“That is...” Felix took in a dramatic breath “THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD ABOUT”

“Yeah, I think it will be fun” Sykkuno replied. 

“It sounds really cool, but let’s maybe tell who’s the impostor? I think it would be more fair” Rae suggested. 

“I think it’s a good idea” Sean concluded, before changing the settings for one impostor only. Y/N waited patiently for the game to begin, and when she saw that she was a crewmate again, she sighed in relief. Only to gasp in a panic a second later...

“It’s me.”

Everyone stumbled out of the dropship as Corpse admitted that he’s the impostor. It seemed that knowing exactly who can murder everyone made the whole game a little bit terrifying...

“I don’t know where the heck I’m going” Y/N mumbled to herself with a nervous laugh when instead of doing her tasks, she searched for the perfect place to hide. When she entered security, she spotted Mr Beast fixing the wires, so she decided to join him.

“OH SHIT- god damn it, you scared me to death!” he all but yelled when she appeared next to him, doing her tasks. 

“Sorry” she giggled, quickly finishing the wires, before speeding out of the room. On her way to weapons, she stumbled across Felix’s dead body, and could hear some screaming in the background... but didn’t recognize who was murdered next. 

Y/N managed to do most of her tasks without meeting Corpse, whom she hoped not to see probably for the first time since they played together. She was just leaving decontamination when she heard Sean’s panicked laughter:

“...tee, bitches love me?”

“Wrong.” Corpse’s voice almost made her squeak in surprise, only to really scream when he suddenly snapped Sean’s neck. 

“Retreat, retreat!” Y/N laughed as she sped past oblivious Rae and Logic, Corpse hot on her tail. She quickly returned to the decontamination room, hoping to flee from her inevitable death, when Corpse’s black astronaut walked in, and the door closed. 

“Please don’t kill me” she chuckled, even though there was no hope for her. 

“Finish my lyrics, and I’ll let you live...” he began, and Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion “ I spilt wine...”

“Wait- what lyrics? You sing?” she asked, completely dumbfounded. Corpse was silent for a moment as if he didn’t understand her, before bursting out laughing “What’s so funny again? Corpse, come on!” 

“Yes, Y/N, I do sing, I was actually hoping you’ve heard some of my songs...” he admitted, still chuckling to himself. She felt a blush rising up her cheeks.

“Oh- I- I didn’t, I-... but I will, okay? I’ll do it right away!” she promised, quickly jumping up to grab her phone and listen to Corpse’s song. She was genuinely shocked, she would never expect him to sing! 

 She unlocked her phone with a wide, somehow nervous smile on her face, which, however, dropped the moment she saw her notifications. Hundreds of notifications. 

“You there, Y/N?” Corpse’s voice reached her after a moment, when she still didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her screen. “I hope my music isn’t so bad that you passed out from listening to it...”

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, her phone gripped tightly in her shaking hands.

“Um, Y/N?” his voice became more worried now “Is everything okay?” 

Y/N cleared her throat and quickly wiped her eyes, closing them for a moment to steady her breathing.

“Yeah, all good Corpse” she forced herself to smile, so her voice wouldn’t sound weird. “Look, um, I need to leave, can you tell the others bye from me?” 

“Is something wrong?” Corpse asked confused.

“No, of course not!” she laughed through her tears “Something just came up and I really need to leave.”

“You sure you’re-”

“Bye Corpse. It was nice playing with you.” 

-

A/N: I hope you guys are not too disappointed in me... It didn’t turn out as I initially thought it would. Isn’t it too dramatic? And is this hate plot fine? Or is it not? What do guys you think? 

TAG LIST IS CLOSED!

@slytherin-chan @pillowjj @afuckingunicornn @love-and-virtues @ignooynim @crapimahuman @hannahjsworld @laugh-like-the-moon @fallengoddess772 @kingric03 @dolphinpink310 @paigeyisme @bunnychano3o @dxrtygxrl28 @z-nyx @baby-iyania @trashygeek

#corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #fanfiction #youtubers #corpse husband imagine #writing #imagine

[storiesforallfandoms]

small world ~ corpse husband

word count: 2053

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Corpse x fem reader where reader an corpse are both streamers and they meet each other for the first time and realize they used to know each other as kids? I know Corpse has said that he didn’t have many friends when he was younger so maybe have it where reader was someone that was really nice to him? Sorry for the long request and thank you if you do it! 😊🖤”

description: he never would’ve thought that the new addition to their friend group would be someone from his past

pairing: corpse husband x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Hey Corpse,” Karl said. Corpse hummed in response, focused on the drawing he was doing for their Jackbox game. “(Y/N) is also from San Diego. Do you know her?”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Karl, San Diego is pretty big. We’re not bound to know one another. Besides, just because he lives here doesn’t mean he grew up here.”

“I did grow up in San Diego actually,” Corpse said. “I don’t think we would’ve known each other though. Even if we happened to be in the same area, I didn’t talk to many people and I dropped out in the seventh grade.”

“I was, regrettably, popular in school,” (Y/N) added.

“Regrettably?” Karl asked.

“Yeah. Looking back, I hated being popular. I hated it when I was popular even. My friends were mega jerks and made fun of everyone, even me sometimes. I would try and make them be nice but they just let the popularity go to their heads. I haven’t spoken to any of them since we graduated. There was this sort of outcast in middle school I used to have a crush on. I tried to be friends with him, but he preferred to keep to himself. I always wished I had been friends with him because I feel like I would’ve been so much happier. I never saw him again either. I wonder whatever happened to him.”

Something about her story triggered a memory in Corpse. The year before he dropped out, there was a girl in is class who was always nice to him and tried to talk to him. He brushed it off as another way he was being made fun of. When it kept up, though, he realized she was likely being genuine. He still kept his distance, but he found himself gaining some feelings for her as well. When he dropped out, he never heard from her again.

I wonder where she is now, Corpse thought to himself. Man, what was her name?

Corpse accidentally gasped, drawing the attention of everyone in the Discord call.

“You good Corpse?” George asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Corpse responded. “Just uh...just realized I fucked up my idea a bit. No big deal, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

The game started prompting for everyone to show what they had created. Taking the opportunity of not having to speak, Corpse went to Google (Y/N)’s YouTube channel. She had come into the game as a friend of Karl’s and Corpse hadn’t heard of her channel, but now somethings were starting to click together.

The first thing that popped up with the top Google Image for (Y/N)’s channel name. It was a beautiful girl laying in a garden of flowers with a wide smile on her face. Corpse sucked in a breath as he realized that the girl in the picture looked familiar.

“Corpse,” came Karl’s voice, snapping Corpse out of his trance. “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry,” Corpse said. “I was distracted.”

The rest of the stream Corpse felt like he was in a daze. He continued to play the games and forced out laughs when he realized someone was making a joke. Every time (Y/N) spoke, he felt his heart flutter with excitement. He couldn’t believe that after all these years he had finally been reunited with her. And what was better was that she had actually admitted to having feelings for him too!

Don’t get too excited, he thought to himself. She said she used to have a crush on you. That was a very long time ago.

He tried not to seem too eager when the stream finally ended. He waited for someone else to leave the call first before he exited out of it himself. He waited another few minutes before messaging (Y/N) directly on Discord.

hey. it was fun playing with you tonight. weird request, but can we voice call maybe? just the two of us?

Corpse didn’t expect her to respond any time soon. It was late in San Diego, like nearly 3am late. Most people were going to bed by now. She had mentioned once during the stream that she was starting to get sleepy. He figured she’d see it in the morning and either call, or just ignore the message.

To his surprise, near seconds later, she was calling him.

“Hey stranger,” she said when he answered. “Long time, no speak. You must’ve missed my voice a lot, huh?”

Corpse chuckled. “Exactly, I really did.”

“Makes sense. I do have the best voice on the internet.” She laughed this time. It sounded like such a perfect sound. “For real though, is everything alright? Why did you want to call?”

How did he even tell her? Hey, so you know that outcast you liked? It was me! Surprise!

No, he couldn’t say that. Maybe she wouldn’t even remember, or maybe she wouldn’t believe him. He had to figure out some way to bring it up.

“I kind of wanted to talk more about your popular school days,” he said, trying to keep his voice light and teasing. “It’s not every day I meet a streamer who’s in my own area code. It would be nice to get to know someone who isn’t like a five hour drive away.”

“Oh!” She seemed excited by this response. Her excitement was almost contagious. “Okay, where should I start? The shitty friends or the shallow popularity?”

Corpse chuckled. “You pick.”

She talked for nearly an hour about her high school experiences with her popular friend group. Despite how much she despised being popular, (Y/N) still spoke with a light tone in her voice. She tried to bypass a lot of the more negative details and speak only of the good experiences she went though, which was nice to hear.

Corpse nearly jumped with excitement when she began to talk about middle school unprompted.

“It really was the last good years I had in school,” she admitted. “All my friends, the ones who went on to be super popular with me, they were nice then. Annoying, but all middle schoolers are. We didn’t care about popularity or social rankings. We were just...we were just kids. We didn’t even really know the difference between ‘losers’ and ‘popular’, which was why it was so easy for me to talk to that guy that I liked at the time. My friends weren’t mocking me for having feelings for an outcast.”

“You said you never saw that guy again,” Corpse said. “Do you know what happened to him?”

She sighed heavily. “No, I don’t. He just stopped showing up before we hit high school. I thought he moved, but I knew his mom and I saw her around everywhere. I don’t even remember his name anymore to look him up. Wherever he is, though, I hope he’s doing better. Even if they weren’t sucked completely into their popularity at the time, my friends and the other kids were still awful to him.”

“I feel that,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly the most liked kid in school. Before I dropped out I didn’t even have any friends.”

“That’s awful.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I’m not really a friendly person I don’t think. I’ve worked on it since that time, but the thought of trying to maintain a social relationship still gives me anxiety from time to time. There was one girl who tried to be friends with me the year before I dropped out though. She was nice.”

“What happened to her?”

Corpse smiled to himself. She would figure it out soon, he knew she would.

“I just didn’t hear from her after I dropped out,” he responded. “I guess that’s mainly my fault. I never reached out to her or anything, but I barley knew her name. Just her first time, and she never gave me a number or anything. I couldn’t look her up online. Maybe we just weren’t destined to be together.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you two were just right people, wrong time. Maybe you’ll cross paths again and finally have that opportunity to be friends with her again.”

“Maybe you’ll cross paths with that guy from your middle school, too.”

There was a prolonged silence. Corpse wondered if (Y/N) was starting to put the pieces together. He could barley even hear her breathe. The longer she went, the more worried he was becoming. He was about to say something when she finally spoke again.

“I made him a Valentine,” she said, her voice soft. “Special handmade one. He was the only one I gave it to. It had some really badly written, sappy poem in it. I watched him open it and...I really think he got emotional while reading it. Of course, he’d never tell anyone that.”

Corpse had gotten emotional over the Valentine (Y/N) had given him. It was the first real Valentine he had ever gotten. It wasn’t one of the generic ones that everyone gave out to every classmate so no one felt excluded. It was made from the heart, and that fact alone touched his. Like (Y/N) said, though, he didn’t let anyone know how emotional he had gotten. It would’ve just been more mental ammo for them to use to bully him.

He quickly got up from his chair, racing to his room where he had his box of memories shoved in his closet. It was little things from throughout his life that he kept in a shoebox. Whenever he felt particularly down or depressed, he would open the shoebox and look at all the things that made him smile.

At the very top of the box was (Y/N)’s Valentine.

He went back to his computer and took a picture of the Valentine using his phone.

“That sounds really nice,” he said as he went into the Discord app on his voice. “It must’ve meant a lot to him that you put so much time and effort into a handmade gift.”

“I don’t know if it did. I never got to ask him what his reaction was.”

“Oh, I’d bet anything he was happy.”

He sent the picture through Discord and waited for (Y/N) to open it. The silence between them felt deafening. The seconds felt like they had slowed to hours. He wondered what (Y/N)’s reaction would be. Maybe she’d be weirded out by the fact that Corpse kept the Valentine, or by the fact that Corpse was the middle school crush in general.

What if she’s upset that this is who I am now? he asked himself. What if her crush was just a middle school thing, and the moment you dropped out she moved on?

“I knew it.”

Corpse couldn’t help the smile on his face when he heard the slight excitement in (Y/N)’s voice.

“I knew it was you!” she continued. “Well, I didn’t know know, but when you asked me to call you I had a bit of a suspicion. I can’t believe it...it’s actually you!”

“It is me,” he confirmed. “And it’s you.”

“Small world we live in, huh?”

“Yeah, small world.” Do you still like me? Did you ever stop? Do you know that your kindness stuck with me for so long?

The silence returned. Corpse was starting to get sick of it, but he didn’t know how to fill the void between them. When he heard her yawn, he realized how late it had gotten. “I’ll let you go, you sound tired.”

“We just had this breakthrough and you’re asking me to sleep?!”

Corpse chuckled. “You have to sleep eventually, (Y/N). It’s like 3:30am, normal people sleep at this hour.”

“I am offended you would think I’m anywhere near normal.” She yawned again, cutting off her short lived rant. “But you’re right, I am tired. Listen...promise me you’ll answer when I call tomorrow. I...I’d really like to catch up. Maybe...to pick up where we left off.”

“Okay,” Corpse said, then realized that wasn’t really a response. “I promise. I’ll be waiting by the phone the moment I open my peepers.”

(Y/N) giggled. “I’ll be sure to call you the moment I open mine.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Sleep tight.”

“Goodnight Corpse underscore Husband.”

kind of a bad ending, but i wasn’t really sure where else to go with it as i wrote it. sorry! :(

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagine #corpse #corpse imagine #corpse x reader #request #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I’ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.  

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

#long post #dark souls 3 #ds3 #dark souls #soulsborne #iundex gundyr #champion gundyr #vordt of the boreal valley #cursed rotted greatwood #crystal sage #deacons of the deep #abyss watchers #old demon king #high lord wolnir #yhorm the giant #pontiff sulyvahn #aldritch #dancer of the boreal valley #oceiros #consumed king #ancient wyvern #nameless king #dragonslayer armor #lorian #lothric #sister friede #father ariendel #soul of cinder #demon prince #darkeater midir

[feralphoenix]

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY

if you’re following my blog or if you read my fanfiction, you may have seen me talking in tags or comments about how the radiance hollowknight was a pacifist. “feral, wtf?” you may have thought. “she’s the freaking final boss and tries really, really hard to kill you and all her attacks do 2 entire masks damage. where on earth do you get pacifism out of that???”

to you specifically i say, that’s an understandable reaction! the short version of how i got here was that i started thinking about the story implications of radi not inflicting contact damage and took a deep dive into game mechanics and lore. when i came up for air i had made myself Very Sad.

if this intrigues you and you would like to know more, come along with me, i am happy to point out the things i noticed and share the Big Sad around.

this essay is also available on dreamwidth for accessibility purposes, since my layout’s text may be too small for folks on pc with high-res screens.

CONTENT WARNING: This essay discusses pseudo-zombie plagues and associated body horror, colonialism and genocide, horrible things that happened in real life Australian history... you know, the usual topics that come up when I’m talking about Hollow Knight.

ADDITIONAL NOTICE: TPK fans of the “TPK meant well/was working for the greater good”/“TPK and Radi are equally bad”/“TPK is bad but Radi is worse” variety please give this one a pass, it ain’t for you.

finally if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY: The Radiance Doesn’t Deal Contact Damage And That’s Kind Of Fucked Up And Sad

The vast majority of hostile creatures in Hollow Knight deal contact damage: This is to say, if the Wandering Knight (who I’ll probably spend most of this essay calling by their affectionate fan name Ghost) touches a hostile creature, this harms them.

There are exceptions to this rule. The most notable and most oft-memed example is the game’s literal actual true final boss, the Radiance. Not only will Ghost not be harmed by running into any part of her body, but during her stagger animation, where she drops to the boss arena floor on her front with her whole body splayed out, Ghost still isn’t harmed if she lands on top of them! What’s more, this holds true for her full-power form Absolute Radiance, the secret final boss of the Godmaster quest/endings.

A lot of people find this amusing, because it’s a little absurd that a game’s final boss is an exception to such a consistent element of gameplay! Hence all the “haha moth too soft and fluffy for contact damage” jokes. It is objective facts that Radi is very soft and very fluffy, so it’s very easy to understand why people don’t overthink this too much.

Thinking about things I like in gross detail is unfortunately my hobby. When it comes to Hollow Knight this usually leads to me making myself really sad. I’d like to share the fruits of my theorizing with the class, so other people can be sad with me.

Now, from a game design perspective I can think of a lot of reasons why Team Cherry chose for Radiance not to inflict contact damage. Her hitbox only covers the central part of her body. Her limbs are large, so because of the way she floats, if she did contact damage she would be protected from nail strikes from below and to either side. This would give a player who prefers nail combat a punishingly small margin through which they could inflict damage without also taking a hit, potentially forcing them to adapt to a new and unfamiliar play style at the very end of the game. That’s not fun for anybody and tends to make players feel very frustrated.

In addition to this, Radiance’s attacks are all bullet hell-style spells. All of them except the floor hazards inflict two masks of damage, meaning if you want to stay alive and identify points where it’s possible to heal, you need to learn the spell patterns and dodge a lot. Radi is a large boss. If running into her hurt you this would make the bullet hell elements of her fight extra punishing.

So, I think the purely game mechanics reason for Moth Too Soft And Fluffy is in interest of keeping her boss fight fair, and helping players feel like they have a chance of actually defeating her.

Part of why we all love Hollow Knight, though, is that there’s not much in the game that only exists for purely mechanical reasons. There’s always some form of story or lore integration.

So what on earth is the story reason behind why Radiance doesn’t deal contact damage?

OTHER ENEMIES THAT DON’T DEAL CONTACT DAMAGE

Radi isn’t the only enemy (here defined as fightable/killable creature) in Hollow Knight who doesn't inflict contact damage, so let’s take a look at her fellow exceptions to the rule to see what we can learn.

Broadly speaking there are two categories of Enemies That Don’t Deal Contact Damage. The first is enemies or bosses who used to be hostile, but have become friendly to the player. For instance, when characters like Ogrim and Hornet are not being fought in boss battles, touching them won’t cause damage to Ghost. These story characters who Ghost has more or less reconciled with can’t be damaged by the player out of combat either.

In terms of generic enemies who used to be hostile but have become friendly to the player, we have the mantises of the Fungal Wastes and the Siblings/Ghost’s Shade. We learn from the game’s lore that the mantises Did Not Like The Pale King and were hostile to Hallownest, but that they established a ceasefire conditional on their keeping the people of Deepnest (who were also hostile to Hallownest) from leaving through the area’s main entrance/exit in the Fungal Wastes - essentially the two native kingdoms were pitted against one another by the Pale King.

Now, just because there was a ceasefire, that doesn’t mean the mantises take kindly to Hallownest bugs brazenly trespassing into their dang house; they will get in your face and try to kill you unless you have permission to be there. But once you’ve defeated the Mantis Lords in combat and proven yourself worthy of the mantises’ respect, they’ll let you pass through their turf unmolested. They are no longer actively hostile and don't deal contact damage.

(You're still able to attack them, though - maybe because you’d be locked out of receiving the Hunter’s Mark if you complete the Respect quest/achievement before you’ve successfully killed enough mantises? - and if you attack them, or if your pet charm familiars attack them, any mantises you aggroed will fight back and deal contact damage again.)

The Siblings, as well as Ghost’s Shade, are initially indiscriminately hostile. Our window into Shade psychology is limited, but we know that the Shade died violently and the Siblings probably did too; they may be lashing out. They’re also Void creatures, and Ghost looks a lot like the Pale King, whom we can guess from context clues pissed the Void off significantly by using it as his personal play-doh to make tools and toys with and also using its house as his personal garbage dump for baby corpses.

However, once Ghost recalls their past and breaks the mask of the Kingsoul charm to reveal the Void Heart at its core, the Void recognizes them as a part of it, and Ghost becomes able to direct/lead the Void to some extent. As an extension of this, the Siblings and Ghost’s shade become docile and can now be killed by any weapon in one hit instead of just the Dream Nail (which is made of Radiance’s Light and is the Void’s natural weakness). They don’t deal contact damage anymore either.

That’s it for “enemies that inflict contact damage at one point, but stop inflicting it after becoming friendly or neutral to Ghost”.

The generic enemies which don't inflict contact damage include shrumelings, maggots, maskflies, and lightseeds/lifeseeds. These enemies are incapable of inflicting any damage on Ghost whatsoever, because by themselves they are completely helpless entities with no natural defenses.

Shrumelings are infant members of the mushroom clan who are usually protected by adult fungi like shrumal warriors and ogres. Lightseeds and lifeseeds are harmless single-celled organisms. Maskflies are similarly harmless. Maggots, we glean from the Hunter’s Journal and dialogue from False Knight/Failed Champion, are the bottom rung of Hallownest’s society because they are weak and helpless, and are forced into menial and slave labor by other Hallownest bugs because they cannot defend themselves. The maggots’ plight is the whole reason why False Knight/Failed Champion stole Hegemol's armor in the first place, as he wanted to protect his people.

All of these enemies flee when Ghost approaches them. (Some maskfly groups’ flight triggers are set to specific areas on a map and won’t flee if you can avoid stepping on/passing through those areas, but this is clearly due to a programming oversight because their whole Thing is running away.)

But, there’s something interesting to be observed in the case of lightseeds and maggots: They can fight back against and harm Ghost if they use tools. The little flock of lightseeds you chase around the Ancient Basin eventually get sick of Ghost’s shit and take over Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s corpse, which they puppet around to try to murder you. By doing so they gain access to Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s considerable combat prowess and become very dangerous, contact damage included in the bargain. (The lightseeds’ doing this seems to evoke the vessel’s spirit, since they reach for Ghost when defeated. That’s not a gesture the lightseeds have any reason to make. The Lost Kin fight, by which the spirit seems to gain some form of closure, becomes available here too.)

False Knight/Failed Champion’s fights work on the same general principle. Now that he has a weapon he can attack Ghost, and his armor deals contact damage. The maggot inside the armor does not inflict contact damage; essentially both his boss fights consist of your whacking the armor until he’s stunned and pops out of the armor for a moment so you can hit his vulnerable real body, which is the only part of him that yields Soul when you smack him. In fact, his boss fights will last forever if you let him recover from being stunned on his own.

Between these two groups, Radiance very obviously doesn’t fit in the first, as she’s the final boss and is very vigorously trying to kill Ghost with various magic spells. You can tell from her Dream Nail dialogue that she’s furious about what the Pale King did to her and her people, and is afraid for her life. She is willing to use everything at her disposal to try to destroy Ghost so she can survive, go free, and get revenge for the Pale King’s crimes. If she could do contact damage to Ghost she would.

So, the only logical conclusion to make is that Radi falls into the second group of enemies that don’t inflict contact damage. She is physically incapable of causing any harm to anyone with only her body. Her magic is deadly as all get out and the 2 masks damage explosion noise probably haunts the nightmares of anyone who’s struggled fighting her, but without it she is helpless.

WHY CAN’T RADIANCE DO CONTACT DAMAGE?

It might be pretty hard to reconcile the fact that a character with Audre Lorde energy as potent as Radi Hollowknight’s is has a whopping 0 ATK. The biggest clues we get in terms of story context for her inability to inflict physical harm of any kind can be found within the culture of the moth tribe, who were her people.

Thistlewind, the backer-designed moth ghost who can be found in the Resting Grounds, tells you that the majority of moths were pacifists, and that individuals like them and like Markoth who learned to wield a nail were in the minority. Thistlewind appears to have learned to fight as a means of self-defense while they explored the crater area, and describes Markoth as having done so in order to “[brave] the edges of this world, hoping to uncover a truth long forgotten”. It sounds to me like Markoth was trying to recover parts of moth culture that were lost when their tribe was assimilated into Hallownest, or maybe even searching for Radiance or trying to learn what happened to her. (Judging that his corpse is hidden behind one of the Pale King’s shade gates it seems this didn’t go well. Thanks TPK.)

As far as fighting moths go there’s Marmu too, but she seems to be a special case, possibly raised in Hallownest's culture instead of with her tribe. We don’t actually get any sort of canon explanation for how a baby moth wound up as a child soldier who died defending the Queen’s Gardens, but given the overall tone of Hollow Knight as a game and all the colonization/Australian history parallel subtext, some horrifying possibilities come to mind.

So, if Thistlewind, Markoth, and Marmu are Outliers Lepidoptera and should not be counted, how did the majority of moths spend their time? According to Seer, who knows more about the tribe’s history than most (and to Quirrel, who points you to her if you defeat Uumuu before picking up the Dream Nail), the moths’ main prerogative was cultivating and developing dream magic. From the way the Seer describes dreams as a living history as you collect Essence, dream magic seems to be a parallel to the Dreaming (or Dreamtime), a spiritual concept in Indigenous Australian religion related to both history and myth.

To translate this into simple terms, the moths were by and large pacifists whose culture celebrated art, history, and spirituality.

Team Cherry tends to adapt at least some aspects of real-life bug behavior and biology into their sad cartoon bugs, so moths-as-pacifists tracks: Real moths do not really have any way to fight. They defend themselves from predators via their mobility and their markings, which tend towards either camouflage that helps them hide or bright markings intended to scare predators off by indicating they’re poisonous (therefore not good to eat) or look like the face of something much bigger and more dangerous than they are.

There's not that much we can glean about the moths in pre-Hallownest society aside from Seer’s dialogue, because Hallownest destroyed their civilization so thoroughly: Except in the Dream Realm (which is filled with Essence spirographs and the wisteria charms that decorate Seer’s room), their architecture can only be found anymore in hidden parts of the Resting Grounds and at the very top of the Crystal Peak where Radi’s statue and a fuckton of lore tablets Ghost doesn’t know how to read are located.

But, we know that the crater pre-Hallownest was home to a ton of diverse bug nations - the mosskin, the mushroom tribe, the mantises, Deepnest, the Hive, the flukes - and every SINGLE one of those had some kind of warrior tradition, as well as their own unique cultures. In the midst of all that it was only the moths who were pacifists, so from there we can tentatively assume that they were on good enough terms with their neighbors for there not to be any fighting. The mosskin in particular also had and still have a Higher Being on their side, though in the modern day Unn seems to be rather conflict avoidant to say the least.

And we know from Hallownest’s past dealings with the mantises and Deepnest that even having Two (2) Higher Beings isn’t enough to keep rival civilizations off your nuts if they hate you, so it’s improbable that Radiance just did all the moths’ fighting for them.

The only hint that the moths ever had beef with anyone at all is one of Radiance’s Dream Nail lines, “ancient enemy” - this is popularly theorized to refer to the Void and might be corroborated by the Void’s willingness to follow Ghost into Radi’s boss fights and fight alongside them. As the Void seems to be some sort of Higher Being/god of darkness and nothingness, and the Dream Nail’s only offensive ability is to kill Void creatures, the Void and creatures of Light appear to be in a position of mutual vulnerability. Some of the Pale King’s writings in his workshop, which identify the Void as a power in direct opposition to his, support this too.

It’s unclear whether the Void civilization and Radiance ever directly came to blows or whether they were just giving each other the stink eye over being natural enemies - personally I think the latter is more likely because the two civilizations existed on opposite sides of the crater*, and again, the moths were pacifists; plus when Ghost brings the Void along to Radi’s boss fight she is quickly and gruesomely overwhelmed by it.

What I am saying here is that if pacifism was such an integral aspect of moth culture, and Radiance epitomized her people’s culture, and she is 100% incapable of inflicting physical harm, she was probably a pacifist too.

DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW YOU WEREN'T BUILT FOR FIGHTING

Hallownest flourished for a long, long time between the Pale King and White Lady first establishing it and the initial outbreak of the Infection.

There’s no conclusive information in-game as to why this is. We can only guess: Maybe Radiance was so badly hurt or weakened by the moths’ assimilation that it simply took her That Long to become capable of the mass dream broadcast to Literally Everyone In Hallownest that would eventually become the Infection when Hallownest’s people tried to suppress it. Or, maybe it just took a long time for her to come up with a way to fight back. It’s possible that it took her a while to find the resolve to actually fight back, too, with her principles of pacifism in conflict with the necessity of defending herself and taking her people back. Maybe there was a change in the moths’ situation in Hallownest somewhere down the line that compelled her to step in - all the moths are super extremely dead at the time Hollow Knight starts, after all. Even Seer is eventually revealed to be a revenant like Ze’mer the Grey Mourner, only lingering in the world to pass on the Dream Nail and tell Radiance’s story. Maybe it was a combination of all those factors. Barring Team Cherry dropping in to explain this bit of Sekret Deep Lore, we are never going to know.

All we DO know for sure is that when we mosey into Hollow’s brain (and/or Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny our way to the top of Hallownest’s Pantheon) and challenge the literal actual sun to a fight, Radi takes the challenge with extreme prejudice and comes in swinging.

Something interesting I noticed while comparing the Radiance boss fights with the Pure Vessel fight is that some of their attacks are vaguely similar. Where warrior-mage characters like Xero and Markoth have physical weapons that they summon and manipulate with magic, Radiance and Pure Vessel both create nails and daggers out of Essence and Soul respectively. Both characters’ magical weapon attacks are similar in nature too: Some are used to create hazards that must be dodged or avoided, and some are fired directly at Ghost in radial patterns.

This begs a very sad chicken-and-egg question. Did Radi and Hollow develop these battle techniques independently of each other, has Hollow in their prime form somehow absorbed similar techniques to Radi through osmosis since they’re currently chained together by the brain... or is Radi mimicking and innovating on these attacks she knows Hollow can do?

All her other attacks seem very obvious for a light-themed character, after all: Beam attacks and blobs of light. A flash of bright light is also how she shakes off the Void the first time it tries to grab her, too, making for a strong argument that that’s the original natural defense she possessed, and that’s what she based most of her attack magic off of.

Making sword’s and knive’s from Essence when most of her people didn’t even handle these sorts of tools even at the height of her power and influence, though... that seems less like something that would come naturally to her. i don’t really know i don’t have a definitive answer or theory for this one it just Seems Possible and it’s fucking me up guys

Even the Infection - which began life as Radiance’s attempt to communicate, let’s remember, before it progressed to “The End Of Eva Disease Will Continue Until Someone Actually Listens To Me” and then finally Radi screaming “FUCK U LET ME OUT, GET THAT NEW SUNNY D BOTTLE THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, HALLOWNEST EAT SHIT” during canon - does not appear to be fatal to living bugs until the tumorous growths grow so large they impede bodily functions, like real cancer. We can observe this phenomenon via a number of NPCs and enemies that are rediscovered as tumorous corpses after the whole Crossroads area becomes infected.

At least to me, all of this points to Radiance being a character to whom violence and causing harm doesn't come naturally, and who has resorted to these methods in desperation.

It actually reminds me a lot of False Knight/Failed Champion. It’s a very common theory among fans that when he stole Hegemol’s armor he killed Hegemol - this is a reasonable thing to believe, since Hegemol is the only one of the Five Great Knights of Hallownest who never appears at all in-game, not even as a corpse like Dryya and Isma. Like Radi, False Knight/Failed Champion is a character who rose up and turned to violence in order to protect his people, despite the maggots not being a belligerent species.

False Knight is one of the game’s first major bosses, sometimes the first boss that players encounter at all. And so Hollow Knight’s story bookends with two separate victims of a predatory system, one who lived within and was cannibalized by it, one outside of it who was deliberately targeted by the Pale King. Neither of them started out as a fighter, but both of them still adopted violence as a tool to protect themselves and their people. Radiance is as doomed as False Knight by the Pale King’s genocide, but just like False Knight, she has no intention of going quietly, and will rage against the dying of the light as only the literal actual sun can.

Cue Deedee Magno Hall voice clip. You all know the one.

*A footnote: There’s no conclusive evidence to tell us whether the Void civilization was contemporaneous with the other pre-Hallownest indigenous bug nations or whether it predated them. Mask Maker has a line suggesting that the Void civilization tried to expand throughout the crater in its heyday and that maybe this was linked to its collapse, but in general the Void lore is just too darn thin to draw firm conclusions - it’s like trying to speculate on the ancient stone age cultures of the Americas that came before pre-settler Indigenous countries when the only sources you can easily access are elementary school level US history textbooks. (To non-Americans: We mostly teach kids propaganda until they hit college-level courses and it sucks so much ass.) This is very realistic worldbuilding, but also please Team Cherry I want to know more about these ancient bugs who apparently got lost in the sauce

#hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #hollow knight meta #the radiance #hk radiance #essay #long post under cut - #bad and naughty catholics go in the catholic wiggler

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space Reviewcaps: The Hidden Light or Beelzbub’s Dad and Death Himself

Welcome back all you happy people! My regular coverage of final space continues as our Team Squad continues to be split up. Team Gary heads to the ruins of France and while HUE lives the dream, Gary finds the architect of his misery might also be the archtetcht of hope when he meets KVN’s creator.  Meanwhile Team Avacato find some friends of some friends... and an old enemy horrifically reborn and just as pants crappingly terrifying as before. Find out whose back, whose just been introduced, and whose resting under the cut!

So once again i’ts time for roll call, as our Team Squad has been split into three groups so Team Gary: Gary, Quinn, KVN, HUE Team Avacato: Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, Sheryl.  Team Bollo: Bollo, Mooncake

Same as last time and if your wondering why some names are missing from Avacato’s team, we will get to that. And since our three plots are entirely seperated from the start this time...

Team Gary: The Father of Beelzbub is A Moderaltey Tolerable Guy Picking up where we left off, Gary and Quinn gaze at earth though we do find out, naturally, the other half of the team is okay when Avacato buzzes in, confirming he’s alive at least. So with half the team stranded in the depths of final space, Gary’s next idea is naturally to plummet to earth and pick up a ship to pick them up. HUE has some flaws in the plan, i.e. the earth’s gravity field but KVN proves useful for once and helps carry them down to earth, our heroes ending up in Paris. 

We get a fun subplot of HUE thoroughly enjoying his dream of visiting Paris in a body.. even though Paris itself is pretty fucking horrific, littered with floating corpses and with a smokey, unnerving atmosphere. But the contrast works.. what dosen’t is the ships our heroes fine, which are junked, likely due to months of having no mainteince coupled with the destruction brought on by the titans. 

Gary does find something.. his worst nightmare.. a bunker FULL of KVN’s “I always thought i’d die like this”. They thankfully don’t want to kill him, and he finds a dwarf ventrixian whose a fan of his as are the KVN’s. As it turns out they somehow watched all his video logs to Quinn, and the little guy saying Quinn is even more beautful than he imagined lets him live when Quinn shows up. Gary is naturally puzzled why someone would create his worst nightmare, an army of kvns who know his personal details... until we find out who created the bunker: Kevin, the genius scientest who created the KVN’s. 

Naturally Gary has as mature, sensible and calm reaction as you’d expect and he goes to see Kevin’s dad without innocent....

Had you there for zero seconds. No he has a fairly fluid and incredibly well voiced freakout ending in him wanting to burn the place to the ground in cleansing fire. It’s.. actually a very good thing Quinn’s the one who went with him as everyone on the other team except MAYBE Avacato would’ve gone with operation BURN THEM, BURN ALLL OF THEM. 

So while Gary can’t burn them he does go to shoot Kevin’s creator in the head after finding out he’s alive and still in the bunker. And.. he actually is alive. It’s a nice change of pace as in most sci fi stories where we find the robot first the creator is long dead. But no Kevin.. is alive. It takes a bit for him to accept this is really happening due to a combination of Gary’s transmissions..and Nightfall having contacted him to make a ship. I’ts only when he tries throwing something at Quinn does he realize that nope these are real peoples and gladly welcome them for some rest so theyc an go find the ship he made for Nightfall. Relately the one major flaw I have with this episode.. is that it takes Gary and Quinn an embarassingly long time to put two and two together. Gary I get, he’s kind of distracted being caught in a waking nightmare and finding out he needs to rely on the man who ruined 5 years of his life. He’s also Gary. It’s okay. Quinn though, even with months of trauma stuck in a hell dimension.. is still the resonable one and still should’ve figured “Hey maybe the alternate future verison of me who was around back then did this”. The reveal is well done towards the end when it happens.. it’s just very weird it didn’t happen sooner. 

So the couple are FINALLY alone.. for about 5 seconds because Kevin gets into bed with them. And while part of his loopiness is probably the horrifying isolation for the last few months, after all Gary wasn’t exactly the most coherent after his stint in prison, I do feel that at least part of it is just him. It just makes the most sense: the infinity guard massed produced the guys and Kevin was one of their top scientests. He likely didn’t half ass a project of this size or importance.. so it’d make sense that instead the KVN’s suck at their job because the person who made them really dosen’t get humans, or personal space and the KVN’s are simply degraded copies of him. 

We do get a sweet moment with Quinn and Gary before Kevin decides they’ve rested enough time to go. They use the KVN’s to head to belgium, where the ship is, but have to fight Landfish, horrifying monsters that feast on the remains of dead worlds. So we get a fun and tense action sequence as our heroes sorta zipline through the monsters and KVN suprisingly turns out ot be useful twice in one episode. Our heroes make it to the ship, though HUE is down two arms and his self esteem, with Kevin asking why an AI would WANT to put themselves in a garbage bot. HUE admits he just wanted to experince life but it comes at a cost.. which granted the loss of arms seems rushed.. but it’s not like pre-AVA most of his life as a robot was that happy or fufilling so it dosen’t come out of nowhere and the person who MADE it better... is now dead and gone. He has no real reason to stay in the body anymore: He’s tasted life, he’s loved, and he’s lost. 

So naturally he goes back to being the AI on their new ship, which Quinn Dubs the Galaxy 2 because naturally Gary’s name tries too hard and Kevin’s is nonsensical.. though really Galaxy 2 itself just.. isn’t a great name. Seriously call it the purple rain or something. Still it’s a cool looking ship and while i’ll BADLY miss the crimson light as Olan designed a really fucking cool ship there, the Galaxy 2 is none too shabby. So our heroes have there ship, HUE has his old Job back, and we get a sobering scene as Quinn and Gary finallyg et the nightfall thing, and Kevin leaves to go get the portal up and running and he’ll call them.. they don’t have his number but he’ll be in england where the project is so it’s not like they can’t find the crazy man when the time comes. So we end with Team Gary heading off to a huge energy signture to hopefully find someone. Who it is, if it’s even one of our groups, is unknown.. but given the stinger it’s probably Bollo and Mooncake.. but we’llg et to that. First

Team Avacato: FUCK

So on their astroid Sheryl wonders if the plan is to just stand around and wait for Gary. Tribore however.. wants to leave again. Despite being in an edltrich space nightmare, he decides to take some paternety leave and cuts off part of the asteroid to go bond with his son leaving us with five heroes who all quickly get abducted by teleportation. 

Their abductors.. are Arachnitects, the last ones left in final space who intially confuse them as part of of Invictus unholy horde before Little Cato brings up Jeremy, and thus they free them and explain what’s up: as said their the last ones left in final space, the only ones who weren’t slaughtered or escape and try to offer our heroes hope and shelter.. before brutally being slaughtered by telekensisis... and it’s with that... HE has returned. While the trailers made no attempt to hide it and it was blatant from the start of last season he woudl return.. it dosent’ make his return any less chilling or impactful or David Tennant’s performance any less terrifying after being gone for a bit: Lord Commander HAS RETURNED

And make no mistake, hopefully, this is OUR Lord Commander, as he comments on the new additions.. and is GLEEFUL to have new toys to play with. Avacato is naturally horrifed he’s back and tries to just shoot him but that’s as effective as it’s always been, and he simply force lifts all of them, and naturally, being a sadsitic bastard, brings LIttle Cato forward as he wants to know where Mooncake is, though Little Cato makes a valid point: he dosen’t know where Mooncake is and even if he DID he wouldn’t tell him. And.. that’s where this part of the plot ends till next week. I”m fucking terrified. Nice to have David back though. Especially with Ducktales over. And as a side note... it’s notable Ash doesn’t try triggering her powers. Either she can’t and Lord Commander’s even stronger than her, or she just hasn’t yet. Or third horrifying option i’m going with thier powers come from the same source. 

Team Bollo:The Forge

So with Gary hopefully coming to the rescue and the rest of our heroes trapped by a sadistic bastard who will likely gleefully kill at least one of them.. we find out where Bolo went after getting his ass kicked. He surivived.. but clearly needs a leg up.. so naturally for a charcter voiced by Keith David he goes about it in the most badass way imaginable: he has mooncake do the thing on a dwarf star so he can FORGE IT INTO A FUCKING BADASS SPACE SWORD TO SLAY THE TITANS WITH. My.. my body is ready for next week. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode was excellent. The premire while not BAD had some issues with pacing and tone, where as this one found the perfect places to inject the series humor.. while keeping the stakes incredibly high and having the chilling return of it’s most terrifying antagonist. and yes tha’t swith the people posseing murder face out there. This episode returned Season 3 to the right track. It also continues to be seralized like season 1.. but I feel at least so far they’ve learned their lesson from Seasons 1 and 2 and combined the two better, having basically one big story, but having the pacing be more on par with Season 2 where things move along at a nice clip and we get more character stuff peppered in. It’s a nice combo. if it’ll hold out I do not know, especaillly with a longer runtime but we’ll see as we go won’t we. For now.. this episode was fucking awesome. 

If you liked this review join my patreon, my current stretch goal is for a darkwing duck episode a month and i’ll be putting up a patreon exclusive review soon for 5 dollar or more patreons so check that out, follow me for more and if there’s any episodes of the show from seasons 1 or 2 you’d like me to cover we can discuss that in my ask box and dm,s only 5 bucks an episode. See you at the next rainbow. 

#final space #the hidden light #gary goodspeed #quinn airgone #avacato #little cato #ash grayven #fox #KVN #sheryl goodspeed #the lord commander #bolo #mooncake #kevin van horn #Biskit #reviews #adult swim

[makeawisdom]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Verin Thelyss, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss Characters: Essek Thelyss, Verin Thelyss Additional Tags: Just two siblings talking about feelings, established shadowgast Summary:

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye. “Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

(In which the Mighty Nein have been invited to dinner by the Umavi Deirta Thelyss and her two children have a heart-to-heart conversation while they wait for them)

“This is all your fault”

“I don't see how it could be. I didn't do anything” answered Essek without looking at his brother. “It was our mother's idea.”

“It was our mother's idea” repeated Verin, mocking his voice. “Bullshit. It's your fault. Our lives were happy and peaceful, and we didn't gather for more than fifteen years. But then you've decided to go out of your lair and get yourself a boyfriend.”

Essek felt the warm creeping over his cheeks, but he hoped he was able to hide it well enough. He didn't want to give his brother more material that he could use against him. He already had enough of his repertoire.

“That's not the reason why she's doing this. Our mother only wants to check if the Mighty Nein could be used as leverage in her schemes.” Not that he was to allow it, but he was wiser than to confront his mother straightforwardly. He worked better behind the scene, anyway, hiding in the shadows. “And he is not my boyfriend. We're… figuring things out.”

It sounded bland and hackneyed, but it was the truth.  He and Caleb talked about it, and that was their mutual agreement. Everything was overly complicated already, taking in count the Mighty Nein knew about his endeavors with the Assembly. Essek's position as regards the group was precarious, to say the least. A few of them felt some resentment against him and he couldn't blame them. It would have been understandable if they decided not to trust him ever again. Why Caleb still could have faith in him, was a mystery. Essek couldn't fathom why would he hold any sort of feelings towards him either, even if Caleb was persuasive enough to convince him that he did. Words could lie, he knew, he mastered that art. But glances, and caresses, and tender smiles between kisses were a whole different story, one than Caleb told him with blunt sincerity and Essek couldn't help believing.

“That's definitely the face of someone that is thinking of a person which is figuring things out with, sure” Verin leaned back on the armchair he had claimed and raised one eyebrow. Essek, standing, looked at him from above with a deadpan expression. “I swear I still can't believe this is happening. I was so sure you will die alone in that huge tower of yours, surrounded by thirty cats that will feast on your remains.”

“That's hilarious. Hilarious and disgusting” said Essek with a tone that expressed he didn't find it funny at all. “Don't make that kind of jokes during dinner, please”

Verin gave him a grin.

“Why not? Do you fear that I will embarrass you in front of your figuring-things-out-friend?”

“No, my sweet little brother. I fear that they might like you.”

Verin laughed wholeheartedly, making Essek crack a little smile.

“What is your opinion on this?” He knew his brother well enough to try and be more specific before he could find room for another witty comment. “About Caleb and me, I mean.”

“Hold on a second, since when do you care about what I think? Are you okay? Did you hit your head or-?”

“I know mother will expound her point of view as clearly as she likes. I was hoping that, if you have something to say as well, we can discuss it privately, so I only have to deal with one criticism at a time.”

He seems to think about it for a little while until he finally said:

“Well… he's a human. A human from the Empire. That's weird.”

“I assume it must look like it is, yes.”

“But, that's not even the weirdest thing. The worst of all is that he is a wizard. A wizard, Essek! Do you know how untrustworthy wizards are?”

Of course, Verin wasn't talking seriously, but he can't help but think of what his brother would think of him if he knew how right he was. What Essek has done. How he, unintentionally, started a war that could have endangered his own brother.

How he was responsible for their father's death.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, those thoughts wouldn't have even made him twitch. But now…

Now…

Regret is a novelty that didn't wear off easily. He didn't use to worry about the consequences of his actions, but at that moment, he realized his ambitions could have cost him more than he was willing to pay. Only one thin thread on the big tapestry of the odds had prevented his brother from being one of the numerous corpses soiling the ground of the battlefront, instead of being there, pestering him, laughing at his own jokes.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, he has had already so much to lose but he couldn't see it. They didn't only give him another chance; they also give him perspective.

He thought he could live with the idea of his brother hating him. Essek had been alone for so long that he believed for a matter of fact that he didn't need anyone else. But the idea of Verin finding the truth, blaming him for what he did, was terrifying.

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye.

“Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

His guilt didn't disappear, but that question was enough to bring him back to the conversation. That was his current battle: his denmother, his younger brother, the dinner all of them would be sharing with the Mighty Nein in less than an hour.

One concern at a time, he told himself. The first thing was finding a good answer to his brother's question. A very uninspired one, he thought. Only the seriousness his brother used to drew it up stopped Essek from dodging it and telling him he sounded like the side character of a badly written romance novel. He couldn't do it because he knew Verin's worry was sincere and that it was his way to show it.

“He’s outstandingly intelligent. Although he’s lacking formal education, he’s a competent…”

“Blah, blah. Magical nerdy stuff is one of the reasons, I get it. I didn’t even doubt it. But if that were enough, you would have hooked up with any of those stuffy people from the Marble Conservatory, but you didn’t, and it’s not as if you didn’t have your pick. You used to have a flock of infuriating suitors.”

“Yes, and all of them were infuriating, as you’ve correctly pointed out.”

“Well… but one or two should have been salvageable, I guess. But you’ve never had a partner before. Not one I’d heard of, at least.”

“I’ve never had a partner before, period.”

“See? That’s why I’m so curious! It must be something else!”

Verin was right: there was something else, but he didn't want to talk about it. He's always been proud of being discreet, keeping his matters to himself. Verin, on the contrary, shared everything, even those things Essek would have preferred not to know. It was an unbalanced dynamic, the one that they had, but Essek felt sheltered that way, stronger. Talking about what Caleb meant to him... Essek knew it would make him seem vulnerable and he didn't want that.

But that was the point in trying to do better, wasn’t it? Doing what is necessary to improve, even when he considered it to be the last thing he wanted to do. He had a long road ahead, but he could start with that little step. He took a deep breath.

“He is… He is everything I thought I didn’t need until I had him in front of me.” His mouth started getting significantly drier with every word he said, while he felt how goosebumps claimed his entire skin. He felt awful, self-conscious, and exposed, the same way he felt beneath the deck of the Ball-Eater, the day he confessed his crimes. He hated it just as much, but that probably meant he was doing something right, so he kept going. “He’s caring and understanding. He’s fun in his own awkward, delightful way. I’m still amazed at how much kindness he can show, after… After everything. I’ve never met someone with such endurance before. He’s admirable, in every possible way.”

He gave him a second chance when any other person would have made him pay for his wrongdoings. He hoped for him to be a better person, and Essek obliged out of selfishness, as he always did. He still believed in the cause he sold his soul to. His pursuit of knowledge, crossing limits anyone else hasn’t even dared to reach. He had lived through that desire, put all his stakes on it. In an ambient where he could not thrive, surrounded by people that didn’t understand him and didn’t care for him, magic was the only thing that pushed him forward. Without that itch, without his ambitions, what was left for him?

Love, he learned that infamous night in Nicodranas. There was warmth. There was friendship. There was love.

There was Jester, lovely Jester, holding his hand.

There was Caduceus, urging him to spit his dirty secrets as if he were trying to make him vomit a poison that was killing him inside.

There was Caleb, with his eyes, and his hands, and his lips. He kissed him gently, in a moment when any other person would have landed a stab-wound between his ribs.

That’s why his change was so selfish. He could not drop every project he had fought for during all his life and change just for himself. But he could change for them. Be whatever the Mighty Nein wanted him to be: a friend, an ally, or a lover. Damn, he would even be a good person! He was trapped and enthralled, and he never, ever, would like to be let go.

Did he ever stand a chance? No, probably he didn’t, not against them, at least. Not against Caleb.

“I wasn’t seeking companionship when I first met him” Essek admitted, “but when we stumble on each other, when I had the opportunity to talk to him and get to know him better… I couldn’t help but see how similar we were, and yet so different. I don’t know how to explain it, just… Everything between us clicked together.”

“An instant connection. How romantic.” Essek was grateful for the lighthearted inflection of his brother’s voice. That was normal, familiar. It was a good grip to keep his mind from spiraling. “Who knows. Perhaps the Light pushed you two together and you are meant to be, after all. I mean, what were the odds of you finding another oddball like you?”

What were the odds, indeed.

“I don’t believe in destiny.”

“Of course you don’t. People like you have ‘destiny’ for breakfast, but even you would admit that this is some kind of divine intervention. I mean…”

“Yes, I found someone that can stand me. A miracle” Essek replied with a deadpan expression, “You might find someone someday as well, if you ever stop being a little brat.”

Verin showed him the sharp point of his fangs. Essek was sure his brother was preparing himself for the delivering of another witty comment, but instead, he just shrugged and gave him an honest smile.

“You seem quite different, I would say.”

“Well, I am different. I suppose it shows.”

After a brief pause, Verin added:

“You really love him, huh?”

Essek didn’t need to consider the answer.

“I do, Verin. I love him immensely” he admitted so naturally that he surprised himself. That was such a profound truth that he couldn’t have expressed it with less honesty, because it wouldn’t have sounded right any other way. “Not only him. I love all of them. They’ve changed my life for the better. My relationship with Caleb has indeed meant a lot of adjustments in both our lives, but it works somehow, and it makes me happier than I can express with words.”

Verin blinked once, then twice.

“That’s… wow. Just wow. It turns out that nor only you have feelings, but you’re also able to talk about them! I’m impressed, I’ll admit it.” Essek raised an eyebrow, but Verin kept talking before he could comment on anything. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not teasing you right now… well, a little, but that’s what I always do. Believe me, I’m glad to hear you’re happy. It’s everything I could have hoped for you.”

Verin patted his shoulder a few times, a gesture that probably was just friendly between well-built soldiers, but it was a little rougher against someone as slim as Essek. He was able to keep his balance and his dignity with it. It hurt a little, but he did not express it in any way. He was too grateful for his brother’s reaction to getting mad at him for not knowing his own strength.  Verin really mean everything he had said, Essek knew, and that tugged at his heartstrings. He cared; he had always had. Essek was lucky to have a brother like him, he thought.

“I have a question, though”, Verin began.

“Go ahead, please.”

Verin grinned.

“May I call that Caleb brother-in-law?”

Essek didn't hesitate.

“Don't you dare.”

***

Fun fact: If ‘Person A talking about their feelings for Person B with Person C’ can be considered a trope, it’s my favorite one.

Fun fact 2: This is not really my hc for Verin and Essek’s relationship. I think they hate each other’s guts, but I started writing this and I thought: ‘Oh, okay, this dynamic is wholesome. I’ll stick with it’

#critical role #campaign 2 #essek thelyss #verin thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #text post #fanfic

[kendrixtermina]

Further reactions to "The book of lost tales":

I appreciate that Idril canonically wears armor and does swordfighting.

I feel like I can actually imagine adult!Idril much better now like in armor and with open hair, distraught but ready to fight while babby Earendil does not yet realize the danger...

My first thought is that Earendil was probably cute in that baby chainmail. My second thought is OUCH, Idril and Tuor always made sure their growing baby had fitting chainmail cause they felt the apocalypse might get them at any moment. Imagine that, imagine them having the baby armor fitted every year or so :(

Its fun how much of the basic structure already exists but most of what you'd consider the main characters doesn't exist or is scattered across various minor roles The only Prince anywhere in sight is Turgon - Except for Team Doriath, theyre all accounted for. I suppose Maeglin is kinda there in name only with vaguely the same role & motivation, but looks personality and background all did a 180 since. Luthien is still pretty much "princesd classic" at this point, not quite the fearless go-getter from the final version - markedly this version tells Beren that she doesnt want to wander in the wilderness with him whereas the final one says she doesnt care and its Beren still wants to get the shiny so as not to ask this of her and also for his honor.

I mean in the finished version Id consider the 3rd and 4th gen royals to be the main characters (well, alobgside Team Doriath and the varioud human heroes) and theyre hardly here. Imagine the silm with no Finrod!

Feanor had no affiliation with the royal family whatsoever, and is also generally less super. He's just the guy who won the jewelsmithing competition, not the inventor of the whole discipline. Still seems to have been envisionad as a respected member of the community who gets called to the palace for crisis meetings and is listened to when he stsrts giving speeches. From the first he already has the backstory of going off the deep end (or at least growing disillusioned with Valinor) after a family member is killed by Melkor and theyre still the first to die, but its just some other rando unrelated to the royals

The situation regarding the humans is different - instead of Melkor leaking their existence, its Manwe who explains that the other continents were supposed to be for them eventually. So Feanor goes off on a tirade about weak puny mortals comes off as a more of a jerk unlike in the final version where Melkor barely knew about the humans and described them to the Noldor as a threat. On the other hand in this one, also very much unlike in the finished product, Melkor dupes even Manwe into being unfair to the elves as a whole. In this the final version is a definite improvement, both Feanor and the Valar come off as a lot more sympathetic and though still deceived he's partially right in some things at least, so you have more of a genuine tragedy rather than a simple feud

There is something to the idea of Commoner!Feanor tho. I guess some of this survived in his nomadic explorer lifestyle and how both his wife and mother (who arent mentioned here) eventually were the ones to get that background of being not especially pretty ladies who are not from the nobility but got renown, respect and acclaim for their unique talent and contribution to society, with each having invented things and Nerdanel also being renowed for her wisdom. Hes sort of an odysseus-like Figure in that sense. I suppose later developements necesitated that Maedhros & co. have an army not just a band of thieves, which means they needed to be nobles/lords. That said this being a society where artisans are very respected and half the lords have scholarly/artistic pursuits going, the gap was probably not as big to begin with as it might have been in say, medieval England. Esoecially since Nerdanel's father had been given special honor by one of the local deities and that the social order might have been a very recent thing in Miriel's time. One might speculate that the first generation of Lords started out as warriors during the great journey, or perhaps just Finwe's friend group.

Also found that bit intetesting where the Valar have to deal with the remaining political tensions and effects of Melkor's lies on the remaining population in Valinor... - i guess with the change of framing device it was less likely for news of something like this to reach Beleriand. That, or the existence of Finarfin and his repentance made this go smoother this over in later cannon

Turgon's go-down-with-the-ship moment reaaly got to me. Im half tempted to write a fic where his wife, siblings and dad glomp him on arrival in Mandos. I dont care that none of them exists yet in this continuity i want Turgon to get hugs

I love all the additional Detail that got compressed out in the shift from fairytale-ish to pseudohistoric style especially all the various Valinor magic insofofar as it is compatible with the final version - particularly love the idea of the connection between the lamps and the trees that is now integrated into my headcanon forever

Its actually explained what the doors of night are

If I had not already read unfinished tales or volumes X to XII where this is also apparent, this is where I would say: Ah so the Valar were supposed to be flawed characters. Manwe has an actual arc; by the time he sends Gandalf he finally "got" it. I think in the published silm the little arcs of Ulmo and Manwe are mostly just lost in compression/ less apparent when only some of the relevant scenes got in but not all

It occurred to me way too late that the "BG" chars are the most consistent because theyre at the start and most stories are written from beginning to end. Finwe doesnt get a dedicated paragraph of explicit description until HoME X but my takeaway was that he's described pretty much like I always imagined him anyways/ same vibe I always got from him... charismatic, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sanguine temperament, brave in a pinch but at times lets his judgement be clouded by personal sentiment (though that last bit is more apparent/salient as a character flaw once he became the father of a certain Problem Child) ...i guess this would be a result of jrrt having had a consistent idea of him in his head for a long time.

This means Finwe's still alive at the time of the exodus which is just fun to see/interesting to know... Interestingly he sort of gets what later would be Finarfin's part of ineffectually telling everxone to please chill and think it over first while Feanor simply shouts louder (which is consistent with his actions before the sword incident in later canon where he initially spoke out against the suspiciozs regarding the Valar) - but its not exactly the same, he's more active than Finarfin later in that when "chillax" availed nothing he said that then at least they should talk with the other Kings and Manwe to leave with their blessing and get help leaving (This seems like it would have been the clusterfuck preventing million dollar suggestion in the universe where Feanor is related to him and values him) but when even that falls on death ears he decides that he "would not be parted from his people" and went to run the preparations. I find it interesting that the motivation is sentiment/attachment (even phrased as "he would not be parted from [his people]" same words/ expression as is later used for the formenos situation), not explicitly obligation as it later is for Fingolfin (who had promised to follow Feanor and didnt want to leave his subjects at the mercy of Feanor's recklessness )

Speaking of problem children. It seems the sons of Feanor were the Kaworu Nagisa of the Silmarillion in that originally all they do is show up at some point and kill Dior as an episodic villain-of-the-week. And then, it seems their role got bigger in each continuity/rewrite... probably has something to do with the Silmarils ending up in the title later making it in the sense their story that ends and begins with them. They have zero characterization beyond "fierce and wild" at this point, though in what teetsy bits there is we already have the idea that Maedhros is the leader and Curufin is the smart one/shemer/sweet-talker, though not the bit where Maedhros (or Maglor, or anyone really) is "the nice one". Which I guess explains why "Maglor" sounds like such a stereotypical villain name.

"The Ruin of Doriath" was purportedly the patchworkiest bit of the finished product, but I never noticed and it actually left quite an impression of me upon first reading, the visual of Melian sitting there with Thingol's corpse in her arms contemplating everything thinking back to how they met... she had the knowledge to warn him not to doom himself but couldnt get him to understand it because he doesnt see the world as she does.... After reading this though I wish there was a 'dynamic' rendition that combined all the best bits like, youd have to adapt it to the later canon's rendition of the dwarves, have Nargothrond exist etc. But i mean that just makes Finrod another dead/doomed relative of Thingol's whom bling cannot truly replace, like Luthien and Turin. In the Silmarillion you could easily read it as just an "honoured guest treatment" but here and in unfinished tales I get the impression that Thingol actually did see Turin as a son.

Already you see the idea of trying to make the stories all interconnected but there is less than there will be (the human heroes aren't related yet and there is basically no Nargothrond, which is later a common thread for many of the stories - a prototype shows up in the 'Tale of Turambar' tho complete with half baked prototypes of Orodreth and Finduillas

O boi im not even through yet

#silmarillion #the book of lost tales #history of middle earth #baby reads HoMe

[slashertalks]

Pumpkinhead, And Thoughts On Unnecessary Sequels

(I’m writing this as I watch the movie, so the review may be a little all over the place- bear with me, please)

Pumpkinhead is a movie that achieves a rare sort of perfection: it does everything it wants to within the confines of its run time. There are no loose ends, no glaring plot holes, no setup for another movie. It’s a film that needs no continuation; it demands nothing of us beyond itself. Why, then, does Pumpkinhead have three sequels?

I can’t imagine many fans clamoring for a continuation of this film- it’s niche enough as it is, and the majority of people I’ve seen who are fans of similarly niche-yet-fantastic movies want the films to remain relatively untouched. There’s too much of a risk that any additional installments will ruin the film’s magic. You expect a myriad of sequels from big hits, so you can steel yourself for low quality schlock, but for those of us who love smaller (and older) films the announcement of a sequel is both exciting and enraging. More likely than not we’ll be disappointed, but damn it, it’s hard to keep ourselves from being at least a little excited.

Pumpkinhead is a movie about a man and his son, and grief. The film establishes its world before showing us our main characters; there is so much genuine love between Ed Harley and Billy, we really feel deeply for these two even if we’ve only seen them for around five minutes. Lance Henriksen is an excellent actor, and his talent shines in this film- the boy who plays his son seems to have real fun acting as well, and it shows. When we meet the teenagers, only two of them are really bearable. There’s the asshole character (Joel) and his brother Steve (he would be fine, but at no point does he stand up to Joel), and Joel’s girlfriend Kim (who also does nothing until late in the film). We have a third girl, Maggie, who does nothing, and our two tolerable teenagers. The blond guy, Chris, who’s actually willing to stick up to our asshole teen, and the girl with the camera, Tracy- our final girl, who is genuinely good-natured and very kind to Billy when they first meet.

Finally, we meet Bunt Wallace, who provides another introduction for our monster in the form of a rhyme, and also establishes more solidly that Ed Harley is the young boy from the very opening. This leads into a scene where Ed has to go and pick up some feed for Bunt’s grandfather, leaving Billy alone at the store. Which, in turn, sets up the catalyst for everything else in the movie. Gypsy, Billy’s dog runs outside, which makes Billy run outside where Joel and Chris are riding their dirt bikes- Maggie tries to stop him but trips, which is when Steve crashes to avoid Billy. We think everything is fine, until Joel comes sailing over the hill and hits Billy. While everyone else tries to help, Joel forces Kim to leave with the dirt bikes.

This scene is longer than we’d normally get, of the four teens alone trying desperately to help Billy while Ed is gone- what could easily be only a minute of debate is three or four. The point? To give us our real introductions to the teens- Joel is exactly who we thought he was, but the others, who’d seemed like your standard, flat fare for a horror film are shown to be genuine people who are horrified at what’s happened and desperately do their best to help. Steve stays behind while the others leave to wait for Ed. Ed arrives to find his dying son and Steve, a boy he knows had been on a dirt bike. We see Lance Henriksen give one of the most gut-wrenching glares ever put to film.

While Joel is off being one of the biggest teenaged-to-early-20s shitstains I’ve seen in a movie to date, we get to watch Ed futilely console Billy only for his son to die in his arms. At this point in the film, half an hour has passed and we still haven’t seen the title monster. The only film I can think of that’s similar is Alien, but I’m unsure if it even takes that long for some form of the Xenomorph to appear- half an hour is an awfully long time for a monster movie to take to introduce its monster. However, Pumpkinhead isn’t really a monster movie, at least not in the traditional sense. Pumkinhead (the monster) is an extension of Ed Harley, his grief, his rage, and his desire for vengeance (hence the alternate title, Vengeance The Demon that appears on some merchandise). This movie isn’t about Pumpkinhead killing people, it’s about our own twisted emotions and clouded judgement getting the better of us and turning us into a monster.

At his core, Ed Harley is a good man. He’s a hard worker and a loving father who would have and did give everything for his boy, but much like how he tried to wash Billy’s face to comfort him, it was futile. He was desperate, hurting, and made a horrible decision that cost him his life, and did nothing to revive his son. I remember an interview where Lance Henriksen said that the scene that stuck with him the most reading the script is the one where, after summoning Pumpkinhead, Billy’s corpse sat up in the seat of Ed’s truck and asked him what he’s doing: “What’d you do, daddy?” By then it’s too late to go back; even Billy’s warning is futile. The film is an exercise in futility and the pointlessness of our actions when we’ve allowed ourselves to become a monster, but at the same time, the film is never tedious to watch. It’s not painful to sit through, I’m wholeheartedly engaged in every moment of the film, because even at his worst I can empathize with Ed Harley.

Later in the movie, particularly when Ed confronts Haggis the witch, there’s a particular kind of overacting to Lance Henriksen’s portrayal, but I don’t feel like it’s out of place, or particularly cheesy. How many of us can actually say we don’t look and sound stupid when we’re upset? Ed comes across as a petulant child, demanding someone else fix the problems he caused, and it’s perfect. He’s a good man, so how could he have done this? How could he have caused all this pain when all he wanted was to make right the wrong he was done? Pumpkinhead is a monster of payment in kind, though, and Ed had no real target- it was always “those city folk” to him. Not Joel or Steve, but the whole group, and so Pumpkinhead is bound to all of the teens, even the ones who tried to help Billy, and he expects their blood for Billy’s. It’s particularly ironic that Steve, the one who did the most to help Billy, is the one who dies first.

There is a wonderful little touch given to the Pumpkinhead monster throughout the movie, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it transition as the beast’s face slowly takes on Lance Henriksen’s features. It’s subtle, I definitely missed it on my first viewing, but the effect is a perfect little touch. We know that whenever Pumpkinhead kills, Ed can see it, and the additional sign of their further-solidifying connection is a detail not often seen. If you ever get the chance to, I’d recommend looking up behind the scenes footage of the creation of the costume- even unpainted and segmented, the costume is haunting.

Bunt returns to the core group of characters later in the film- much like young Ed, he’s told to go to bed when Chris and Tracy come banging on the Wallace family’s door. However, unlike young Ed, Bunt is old enough to help. He sneaks out of the house, putting himself in grave danger to try to save the teens, giving them a lot of good insight in the process. This is important because of the third film and how it portrays Bunt, but that’ll get touched on in a moment.

There’s a haunting moment where, in a half-built, abandoned church, Pumpkinhead pauses at the doorway before stepping through (Bunt had thought it might be safe there because it’s a holy place). The moment really drives home the point that while Pumpkinhead may be demonic, it’s truly a beast of man. If Ed Harley can step into a church, so can Pumpkinhead. The finale of the movie comes when Ed tracks down Bunt and Tracy, doing his absolute best to save them- like everything else in the film, however, it is a futile gesture. Until Ed Harley is dead or vengeance has run its course, Pumpkinhead is tied to the earth and bound to do its duty. As a final exercise in futility, Ed Harley tried to kill himself- to shoot himself in the head. This fails, and it’s Tracy who has to destroy the monster. A final act of both kindness and cruelty, she ends the destructive path of Ed Harley’s corrupted grief, only for Haggis to collect the gnarled and withered corpse. I’d stated at the beginning there’s no call for a sequel, so why this moment? Because it shows us that Ed Harley is not a special case- he’s simply human, and we are all susceptible to this if the right conditions arise. When the next desperate, rage-filled and heartbroken person wanders her way, Haggis will summon up Pumpkinhead again, and Ed Harley’s twisted remains will become its flesh.

I began this review by talking about sequels, though, and I’m going to close it the same way. Pumpkinhead, a film that presents is message perfectly to us within the span of an hour and 27 minutes, has three sequels. The second of which is supposedly an alright film, abandoning the setting of the original and focusing entirely on a new set of characters, which is just fine. I would argue, in fact, that that kind of departure from the original was necessary to create the film in such a way that it could stand on its own as a decent film (without using the original as a crutch). I haven’t seen the second one and I don’t particularly intend to, but I bring it up here because it’s important to the sequel(s) I do intend to talk about.

In 2006 and 2007, SyFy released two installments in the franchise. I forced myself to sit through the third, but couldn’t bear to trudge through the ocean of garbage the fourth would inevitably bring. In the third movie, we see a funeral director who dumps bodies in the river instead of cremating them. Bunt is his assistant, and had been doing the dumping, but Ed Harley’s ghost appears and tells him he’s doing wrong. Somehow, Pumpkinhead is summoned and everybody dies, while Ed Harley’s ghost keeps appearing to Bunt. Now, this’d be alright, if it was just Ed Harley’s ghost- when they finally destroy Pumpkinhead, it turns back into Ed and disappears in a puff of white CGI bullshit.

It’s one thing if you want to ignore a sequel, but please, for the love of god, make it CLEAR that you are ignoring a sequel. Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes does not do this, therefore leading viewers to believe that the second Pumpkinhead film is still valid within canon, which means Ed Harley is no longer Pumpkinhead. If the person who summons Pumpkinhead becomes the next conduit, then Pumpkinhead should’ve turned back into whoever the hell summoned him in the second film. Why does this bother me so much? Because while the makers claimed they had passion for the original, it doesn’t show in the slightest. Bunt is treated as a stereotypical “hillbilly” idiot with none of his charm or intelligence from the original. Lance Henriksen seems bored the whole time. The Pumpkinhead monster looks ugly as shit (which would be excusable considering the film’s low budget IF there had been an ounce of care put into the rest of the movie). At this current moment, I’m watching a featurette about the making of the original and the creators are still so clearly passionate about the film, even after all these years. It’s deeply unfortunate that the third film, supposedly a return to form, was instead so horribly disappointing.

The fourth film was filmed back to back with the third, entitled Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud. The film is about the Hatfields and McCoys, but in the “modern” (for 2007) day. It’s also a play on Romeo and Juliet. For some reason, instead of moving on to the afterlife to be with his wife and Billy, Ed is still a ghost who hangs around and talks to Haggis. Don’t ask me why. It has received mediocre reviews; again, don’t ask me why. Disconnected from the original, it may be decent, but it’s still a shitty sequel. For a film to work as a great installment while also requiring a disconnection from the original, it needs to have a fantastic message and an environment that fits near-perfectly. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation fits this description; it is both a terrible Texas Chainsaw installment AND an excellent film with a lot to say about complacent viewership. Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud? It’s nothing of the sort. There’s no grand message, the idea is... somehow both nonsensical and overdone. It is a deeply, deeply unnecessary film that has no reason to exist within the continuity of Pumpkinhead.

Horror sequels for niche/cult horror films have to match the passion of the original film if they want to be taken even remotely seriously. I saw something, once, some article, where the thought that maybe, if the budget hadn’t been split into two films, Pumpkinhead 3 could’ve been great was put forward. I’m not sure if I agree, but it would be interesting to see. Yes, SyFy films are notoriously bad, but I’d point attention to Fear Clinic: based on a miniseries on FEARnet (which was absorbed into SyFy/Chiller after being acquired by Comcast), the film continues the story of the series while also being greatly original and is, in my humble opinion, a very interesting film. Is it the best ever? No, but Fear Clinic is fun and interesting. A film with a relatively small budget that makes use of CGI and is a passion project for its creators and cast can be great and can make fans who are passionate about the source very happy.

Even sequels that can be considered bad, can at the same time be obviously fun. I consider Escape from LA one of the absolute worst movies I’ve ever seen. I love Escape from New York, but I can’t express how much I despise EFLA. Yet, the team behind EFLA clearly had worlds of fun making it! The third and fourth Pumpkinhead movies could’ve easily fallen into this category- even if I still despised them, they could’ve had the redeeming quality of having actual, genuine passion behind them, but they fail at even that simple step. Why do so many small horror films get such bad sequels, though? If the original doesn’t have a huge following/hadn’t seen great success initially, why the follow-ups? Were there really that many fans clamoring for two subsequent Pumpkinhead films, especially ones from SyFy? I highly, highly doubt it. Maybe it really was a passion project, but why then did the films turn out so shoddy? People can make low budgets work, as clearly evidenced by films like The Evil Dead, so there’s no reason for that to make the film fail. Lance Henriksen certainly didn’t seem overjoyed to be there, so he wasn’t demanding a sequel either, even though he’s said he enjoyed working on the original and liked his character.

This phenomena of unwanted, poor quality, yet seemingly fan-demanded sequels absolutely boggles my mind, trying to decipher why they come to be. The horror genre has such an interesting core of fans who come to legitimately care for the villains of these movies. There’s a feeling that these iconic, terrifying monsters and madmen should be honored by their sequels- evolution is a natural part of the process, but they shouldn’t devolve into pure schlock and silliness. With smaller films, this feeling is doubled- we treasure what little is given to us and dread the almost inevitability of terrible continuations if the movie isn’t completely forgotten. I think I’m going to lose my mind if I continue to try to solve this conundrum, to grant reason to the completely unreasonable and almost completely profit-driven (ridiculously so, because of the niche market, but which also explains the low budgets) decisions to continue films that do not need sequels. I think this is the longest piece I’ve ever written, and outside of the actual review of the film I haven’t come to much of a conclusion- I’ve got to apologize for that.

There’s news of a remake of the original Pumpkinhead on the way, though, and I am truly filled with exasperation, dread, and a little spark of hope. Hope, because maybe it will introduce more people to the original, or spark more merchandise. Dread, because it will likely be terrible and spawn more negative thoughts than nostalgia for the original. Exasperation, because really? We’re going through this again? Why? I don’t think I’ll ever know.

#pumpkinhead #long post

[kurara-black-blog]

That Boy Is Dead

Date: 06/08/18

Words: 1553

Warnings: Langst, mas você já esperava por essa. Based in “I Know Those Eyes/This Man Is Dead” (it’s a link to the song, you can click it) from the Count of Monte Cristo Musical.

Tag: @moonsworllld

It started small, a dull look here, a small frown there. Nothing too worrying. Then it got worse. A cold tone and sharp words. A bit alarming, considering they were talking about the Red Paladin. Nevertheless, nothing they couldn’t brush aside. They had a universe to save; they couldn’t stop to ask what was wrong. They knew what was wrong, anyways; Earth and the rest of the universe were in danger.

Some say it was arrogance, some say it was negligence, and the correct ones say it was a mistake caused by both.

It took days for any of them to actually notice something really was wrong. Some days and a reckless action. They yelled—they did it before, why wouldn’t they again?—and he quietly took it. Sitting there with dull eyes, he listened and listened. The burning blue the team was so accustomed with was now a cold void, still blue but so empty it looked like a completely different color. He stood there, staring, waiting for them to finish throwing harsh words at him. When all the words they thought were needed echoed one last time in the silence he turned away and left.

They noticed then. The eyes, the voice, the movements. The reckless abandon of himself. They noticed the absence of the jokes and the puns and the pick-up lines and the laugh and the enthusiasm and the joy and the boy he once was. It worried them. It unnerved them. They needed to do something; Voltron was not the same without Lance.

Did they knew Lance was not the same with Voltron? Ignorance is a blessing to a guilty heart.

The first to try was, not surprisingly, Hunk. He was Lance’s oldest friend in the group. He came with food as a peace offering. Started by apologizing for making fun of Lance with Pidge. Asked what was wrong. Remembered the old times, two boys promising the stars to one another. Hugged. Assured him everything would be alright.

“It won’t because it’s already not.”

Then Pidge tried. Keith wanted to go next, but the others didn’t want they to fight. In addition, after Hunk, Pidge was the one who had been friends with him the longest. She apologized for making fun of him with Hunk. Asked what was wrong. Remembered the old times, when they would sneak out of their rooms at the Garrison and watch the stars. Tried to play the videogame she bought some time ago.

“Your brother would love to play that, save it to play with him.”

Next was Coran, he insisted. A little of fatherly love would surely do the trick. He greeted Lance with an exaggerated hand motion. Asked what was wrong. Remembered the calm times, the two spending hours speaking about their homes and family. Said to him everyone would always be there to listen if he needed.

“None of you did before, why start now?”

Shiro thought he was prepared when he walked up to Lance and started talking. He truly did. Asked what was wrong. Remembered the good times, the team forming Voltron for the first time and feeling the strong bond they had. Offered his shoulder to be cried on.

“A team of six it’s better than a team of six plus one.”

Keith was finally allowed to try. He glared directly at Lance. Asked what was wrong. Remembered the hard times, the ones they won together as the good team they made. Ordered him to stop trying to run and face the team.

“You’re the leader of Voltron. Not mine.”

Allura was the last one to try. She found him silently watching the stars far away from the group. She looked into his eyes. Dark and familiar, deep as the sea. She knew his eyes as pools of warmth and mischief, not as an ocean of emptiness. They had bags under them. Since when did Lance, the beauty guru, had bags under his gorgeous eyes? Were they there for long? Hadn’t he been sleeping?

“Lance, what is wrong?”

Silence. Allura takes a few trying steps, the fear gnawing at her heart. Fear of his harsh stare, fear of the man stating there. He wasn’t her Lance. Her Lance would’ve never glared at her that way, never would’ve pushed her away so rudely, never would’ve closed himself for her. Her Lance was a man with a warm heart and warmer smile, a man trying his best to help. Her Lance was kind, her Lance was gentle, her Lance was funny, her Lance was happy.

That man was not her Lance.

And she didn’t like it.

“Is this about that day you died? Is it because I never told anyone and made it look like it wasn’t important?” She asked anguished. “If it is, then I am so, so sorry. I did not intend to make you feel unimportant, even if I had a lot in my mind, it was wrong of me to never address the issue.”

Silence. Allura wanted to ask why he hadn’t told any of them about it, but maybe it was so traumatizing he couldn’t even speak about it. He did die that day. For more than a few seconds. And she was very lucky to be able to get to him as quick as she did, otherwise Lance would be no more. The princess still had nightmares, they always ended with her being too late, holding the boy’s corpse in her arms, salty tears falling in his face.

The altean was starting to realize that maybe she really was too late.

A palpable nightmare.

“Do you remember that joke…? That one about cows you told me when milking Kaltenecker and I rolled my eyes…? It was actually funny, you know. I giggled when I left. I know that is your way to lift my spirits up, so thank you, Lance. You are… You are someone very valuable to me.”

“Lies.”

“It’s not—!”

“Lies!” His voice raised enough to bring the attention of the group to them. “When you find someone oh so valuable, princess—“Allura gasped, she had never heard the title be spit out with so much disdain, not even by Zarkon himself—“you show it somehow! It doesn’t need to be pretty words or grand gestures!”

The rest of Voltron were in a dilemma. Jump in and defend the princess, or let Lance finally show some kind of emotion after months of painful apathy. They weren’t given a lot of time to decide though, the Cuban was in a rampant, words coming out so fast and so full of emotion, their brains failed on thinking about anything.

“I just needed a fucking “good job, Lance” or “nice one, Lance”! A “you wanna talk” or “we’re here, Lance”! You hadn’t to drop everything and come to my rescue! You hadn’t to do anything more than make me remember I am a fucking part of the team! It wouldn’t be the ideal, I am aware of it, but it would be enough for me to keep myself together! It would be enough for me to feel like this is a fucking family and that I can call it mine! But I guess I was fucking wrong!”

That man, that Lance was scaring them. Their Lance never swore around them and never yelled, even if he had all the right to scream at them in some situations. Their Lance was the first one to try talking things out, together with Hunk, always filled with empathy. Their Lance would never put such hurt look on any of their faces voluntarily, specially on Allura’s. Their Lance was always the one to take the hurt away. Not give.

“Then why didn’t you tell us?!” Keith was starting to feel rage again, his usual response to fear.

“I fucking did! That’s the thing, I did tell you! You’re the ones who didn’t listen; no one listens to the stupid little Cuban boy!” Lance spat, bad taste in his mouth. “Why would them? Why would they listen to the useless idiot?”

“Don’t say that!”

“It’s the fucking truth, Allura, face it!”

“You are not useless or stupid! Lance, you…” Shiro sounded so broken. Hunk and Pidge were crying too much to say anything, wishing their blurry eyes were a result of a bad dream and not a real nightmare. Guilty devouring their hearts.

Why had them been so blind? So blind to his pain, so blind to his sadness, so blind to his struggles. How could they make the boy who kept their hopes up feel so down? When had they turned into such despicable creatures? In what part of the way they decided Lance, their ray of sunshine Lance, was not worthy of them? When had they put that abyss he wasn’t able to jump alone between Lance and their family?

“No, I am not. Not anymore.” With eyes full of wrath, Lance glared at the people he once tried to call family from the other side of the ever so growing abyss. “That boy is no more, so stop trying to bring him back.” He turned his back to them, leaving that family to grieve together, leaving to the ground his old job of wiping their tears out of existence. “He’s dead. And you killed him.”

#voltron #langst #laugst #voltron lance #lance mcclain #vld allura #takashi shirogane #hunk garrett #vld pidge #keith kogane #vld coran #count of monte cristo #Clara writes

[n00dl3gal]

Despair is How I Say I Love You (Danganronpa)

I'm still fairly new to the DR fandom, but I always wondered just how broken Junko's psyche really was. These are my ideas for how she'd react to the Killing Game unfolding, and her relationship with the rest of the 78th Class.

I was inspired partially by @lukastarkiller​‘s series "glory and gore go hand in hand (that's why we're making headlines)." It's a fascinating look at the 77th Class's despair, I highly recommend it. 

Thanks to @mustardpig​ for proofreading.

Read on AO3 here.

Junko Enoshima could count on one hand the number of times she had cried in her life- genuinely, actually cried, not the crocodile tears she used to manipulate people or for the camera during photo shoots.

The first was when she was mere hours old and she had realized how utterly boring the world was. So predictable and meaningless. It was her first real taste of despair- the despair of living, of knowing how life would unfold.

She cried for the second time when she was cornered by a bulky man, whispering what he could do to a pretty girl like her. She managed to scramble away, but her heart beat faster than she thought was possible. Junko was scared for the first time, and the despair of fear was something she relished. It felt real, it was something new and unprecedented and so, so good.

Junko cried for the third time when her dear sister Mukuro ran off to join a band of mercenaries. She wept not out of concern for Mukuro- she knew her older sister would be fine, she figured that out immediately, given her prowess in combat and agility- but rather out of jealousy. She wanted to feel the despair of the battlefield, to be surrounded by death and suffering; maybe even enjoy the ultimate, bitter despair of death- God, wouldn’t that just be wonderful? But instead she was stuck doing modeling jobs, forcing a smile and a personality.

The last time Junko Enoshima cried was when she began the second killing game and knew her classmates would die.

. . .

Headmaster Jin screamed all the louder when Junko turned off the voice modulator for Monokuma. “Hope has peaked,” she drawled, “and despair comes crashing down.” Not her best line, to be sure, but it did the trick. The headmaster struggled against the ropes, pleading with her by name, wondering if this was a mistake-

And then the doors to the rocket closed. And he went flying.

When he crashed back to earth, Junko chuckled and gathered his bones. She wondered if Kyoko would admire the effort she went to to get such a despairing present.

. . .

Things were going mostly according to plan, boringly enough. The memory removal process had gone perfectly and none of the students suspected they knew one another. Sakura was willing to be the mole and feed Monokuma- and by extension, Junko- information on the group. The only flaw was Mukuro’s performance. She slipped out-of-character more than once and deviated from the script. Something might have to be done about her.

Junko turned to the controls for the trap door in the gymnasium and began to reprogram it.

. . .

The first one to go was the Ultimate Pop Sensation, Sayaka Maizono.

It’s not surprising, really. The girl was an idiot for thinking she could kill Leon, a professional athlete. Granted, it was mostly an accident- Leon didn’t mean to stab her in the gut. But murder is still murder, and must be punished.

She readied the courtroom and prepared a batting cage.

(Makoto’s screams when he discovers her, though- Junko has plans for him. Such despair-inducing plans.)

. . .

For once, Mukuro was following the script. Throw a fit and step on Monokuma. It’s most unfortunate that Junko had decided to change the plot.

She felt the sharpest pang of despair to date, and buried beneath it, a speck of regret. She’s killed her beloved sister, her dear, ugly, pathetic Mukuro Ikusaba. The other half of the Ultimate Despair (well, unless you count Izuru and the 77th class, but she cares little for their activities). It’s heartbreaking and Junko was nearly overcome with despair.

And then she saw Mukuro’s face, her shocked expression, her eyes wide, the gasp of realization still painted on her lips as she dies. Knowing that she felt the same level of despair Junko was at death is overwhelming. Unbearable.

It was all she could do to keep Monokuma running properly.

. . .

It’s almost pitiful, the way Leon pleaded for his life. Begging for forgiveness, pounding on unmoving doors. In fact, most people would have considered it pitiful.

But Junko wasn’t most people.

She maneuvered Monokuma into hitting the gavel, beginning the execution. A chain flew out of a side door to grasp Leon’s neck. He was already screaming in terror, and he hadn’t even been chained to the post and hit by a single baseball yet.

Pathetic, Junko thought.

Predictably, everyone- save Leon- was forced into stunned silence, as bruises and blood appear over Leon’s body. Junko hadn’t accounted for him to hold out so long, but by the time all 1,000 balls have been shot, his corpse was limp against the chains.

And the despair. Oh, the despair on her former classmates’ faces. She could bathe in it, swim in it, drown in it. It’s but a taste of what is to come, and she knew that this would be entirely worth it.

. . .

She had deduced that Chihiro would be an easy target, especially since the students were once again clueless to his real gender. Junko also had realized Mondo would likely end up a culprit- between his size and temper, eventually something would push him over the horizon. Mondo hadn’t even doctored the crime scene to save himself; no, it was to honor the secret Chihiro had trusted him with. What good were secrets to a corpse?

But for all her planning and analysis, she hadn’t been expecting Byakuya of all people to tend to Chihiro’s body. Except… this was no process for burial or even mourning. He was acting far too suspiciously for that. The way he was assembling the scene… it resembled something one of her other classmates might create.

It was a setup. Oh, how interesting.

. . .

Kiyotaka, the idiot, had voted for himself. Was that the moron’s “hope?” Believing in a confessed killer, trusting his “friend’s” innocence over factual evidence? God, he was a fool.

But he was falling, sinking deeper into despair. It was plainly obvious, and Junko relished in it. The rest of the class had teared up some over Mondo’s past as well (save Byakuya and Jill, of course- oh, Jill was now a factor. That could be fun ), but once the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader was strapped to the motorcycle…

Ah, delicious despair. She applauded her idea to allude to Little Black Sambo, it really gave the death an added layer of irony. With any luck, the other students would pick up on her subtle commentary. If not, what did it matter? Another student was dead, another well of despair had sprung.

(She watched Makoto very carefully. It was still too early, but she would outsmart him.)

. . .

Of course Junko knew about Alter Ego. She may have not kept any broadcasting cameras in the baths, but she was still fully aware of everything going on inside of the school. Still, it wouldn’t be a problem. Just an additional challenge to overcome, something to alleviate the boredom.

And on the subject of boring, the deaths kept being predictable. Kiyotaka may have stood a chance, had he not become so close to Mondo. Admittedly, Hifumi being the killer was a bit surprising, but whatever. She had custom executions for everyone, even if most wouldn’t see any use.

Would it be fair to call Hifumi the blackened, though? True, it was him that dealt the fatal blow, but it was under Celeste’s orders. Ah, the Ultimate Gambler. Worthy of her title, Junko admitted. She, at least, was playing the game as intended, offing and framing her opponents. Junko wouldn’t say she had “high hopes” for her- why would she, when it involved hope- but perhaps “high expectations” would be appropriate.

But then, Celeste killed Hifumi herself. And Hifumi, ever the dramatic, had seemingly damned Yasuhiro even more than the ridiculous Robo-Justice suit. Ah, would they make the right decision? Most likely. They still had Kyoko on their side. Not even wiping her talent from memory could remove the ability itself.

She prepared the stage for Taeko Yasuhiro. Even with all her skills as a gambler- and a liar- it is nothing in the face of Ultimate Luck.

. . .

“Perhaps we’ll meet again, in another life.” It figured that Taeko would attempt to go out with dignity. A sore loser did not match her elegant persona.

But it was still just a persona, and that was something Junko would not indulge her in. Burning at the stake was a fitting death for Celestia Ludenberg, true, but for plain, boring, ordinary Taeko Yasuhiro? It simply wouldn’t do.

There would be no despair in it.

And thus, a fire truck rammed into her flaming body, ending the witch hunt prematurely. Would her classmates- would the world - appreciate the irony? It was doubtful. They had yet to pick up on any of her commentary with the executions. How disappointing.

At least should could despair in her efforts going to waste, just as they despaired in the most despicable murder yet. Celeste really was a monster, planning her murders like that.

Another life, though. The words rung around in Junko’s head. Only seven students remained- it was due time she considered her plan failing and her own, personal despair. She must get in contact with Izuru and Monaca, and quickly.

. . .

Technically, Sakura had fulfilled her duty as the mole by killing a student. Junko had only herself to blame for not making it more clear it should’ve been someone other than Sakura herself.

And the students upon discovering her- they all so desperately wanted to blame themselves. Even when they knew she was a traitor, a person willing to kill for her already destroyed dojo, they refused to believe it was a suicide. How could they be so blind? It was despairingly obvious, between the locked doors and her manner of death.

Still, she might as well have some fun with the whole charade. A fake suicide note would do wonders to make the trial more of a puzzle. She really was growing bored with the whole game. Maybe if she still had Mukuro to talk to… but it wasn’t as if Mukuro ever said anything interesting , even while alive.

. . .

When the trial began, Junko snuck out of the control room and into the baths. She had to retrieve the special guest.

It didn’t take long, fortunately, as the students seemed intent on calling on Monokuma for clarification at every possible point. How despairingly annoying. They were really so daft, so naive , to think that they had forced Sakura to suicide? They might as well have, Junko was beginning to seriously consider it. No, better to wait. She’d miss out on the despair, otherwise.

And this execution was particularly heartbreaking, or so she imagined. Seeing a link to a tragically killed friend, their supposed lifeline to the outside world… ah, the horror and grief on their faces would have to subside her for now.

She focused on two students in particular, however- Kyoko and Makoto. As bored of the plan as she was, they were making it interesting. Unpredictable . And with the students vowing to stop the killing game, Junko would have to use their unpredictability to her advantage.

Mukuro might actually be able to serve her a purpose, now. How fitting.

. . .

She had intended to kill Kyoko. But Makoto and his stupid hope, his disgusting trust in others robbed her of her most interesting toy. Junko wanted nothing more than to throw a temper tantrum like a spoiled child, to end the game right there and massacre them all.

But she maintained her composure and sent Makoto on his way.

The irony of the execution would be mostly lost, sadly. Junko supposed it could be taken as “crushing the student’s hope,” but she had an execution for Makoto planned. And now the world would never get to see it. Well, no use crying over it. She had lasers and stages and 8-bit Monokumas that were left unused, what was one barrel and a few swords?

The desk inched closer and closer to the pulverizer. Junko wondered idly if this would be Makoto’s only sex-ed lesson.

And then- it stopped. The shaking, the pounding stopped. And on the screen that was meant to display Monokuma was-

“How in the hell did that survive?” Junko screamed. “I destroyed your computer! I wiped you from the mainframe! How are you-”

Makoto fell, fell deep into the pile of trash, and Junko was left shaking with rage. It didn’t last long, however; she simply smoothed her skirt and grinned. Makoto would still die, rotting with the garbage. And even if he escaped- as if, even with Ultimate Luck, he’d still succumb to thirst and hunger- well.

Junko Enoshima would have her despair, one way or the other.

. . .

So this is how it ends.

They chose hope. Junko Enoshima had filled the remaining students of Hope’s Peak Academy with absolute, undeniable despair, and they still managed to choose hope. All because of Makoto Naegi.

“Why that’s just…” she growled, curling her fists… before letting her hands fly to her face, body quivering. “Simply the best!”

This was the despair she had been craving! The despair of failure, of defeat, of death! She was finally going to die! Oh, she had dreamed of this moment, and to finally have it realized was more despair-inducing than anything she had ever felt in her life! She would join Mukuro and Yasuke in the bitter afterlife, if there was such a thing, she would finally know-

But then they interrupted her monologue, her gushing of despair and how delightful it all was, to blather on about hope and peace and friendship and rebuilding the world and it caused her more despair, the wrong kind of despair, Junko had to do something-

“Fine, let me just say one last thing... If you guys wanna get all hung up on the word ‘hope,’ that’s no skin off my nose… but just be warned…” she said, deliberately keeping her face blank. “From this point on, one despair after another will stand in your way. No matter where you run, no matter where you hide… maybe you’ll find some hope, but there is a very fine line dividing that hope from bitter despair.” She laughed, drool sliding down her chin, sweat dripping from her bangs. “Knowing that, you still plan to cling to your hope?”

Makoto spoke then, but Junko didn’t hear it. “Shut up, shut up! That was a rhetorical question!” she screeched. “I’m almost done though, so, whatever… Because it’s almost punishment time, isn’t it?”

The remaining students stared at her, gasping, suggesting that- that she live- that she not succumb to despair- to give hope a chance- “DON’T GET IN MY WAY!” She dashed to Monokuma’s throne, flipping the lid over the button.

“Puhuhu… puhuhuhu! So this is how the despair of death feels… ahh, it’s so wonderful!” It really was, nothing had made her feel so good, not the act of killing her boyfriend, or her sister, or watching the entire world fall at the knees because of her- “Even a tenth of this despair, even a hundredth…” Junko’s body shook, knowing the agony she was about to suffer. She rambled, wishing for the whole world to feel the same despair as her, to die and live full of despair, despair was everything, despair was all that mattered, despair was Junko Enoshima-

“Let’s give it everything we’ve got. It’s… PUNISHMENT TIME! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And as her laughter echoed across the courtroom, she slammed her fist on the button.

All of the punishments, the batting cage, the burning castle, the rocket ship- all of them. She would go through them all, taste the same despair as her victims. Even if they didn’t individually kill her- she had lowered the lethality quite a bit, she wanted to despair through them all, she would succumb. She would perish .

Junko Enoshima would die.

It wasn’t the baseballs that did her in, nor the motorcycle. She yawned and meditated through the flames. The excavator was little more than a back massage . The rocket ship left some bruises, leaving only the crushing machine to do her in.

How fitting. What was meant to take out her greatest adversaries would instead be her demise. The irony was despairing. Despair, despair, despair, she was going to die, Junko would die, THIS WAS THE ULTIMATE DESPAIR- The conveyor belt froze beneath the block. Junko, still clutching Monokuma to her chest, looked up. She was supposed to be dead. Why wasn’t she dead why wasn’t she-

#danganronpa #danganronpa thh #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa spoilers #junko enoshima #dangan ronpa #dr fanfic #dangan ronpa fanfic #fanfiction #ultimate despair #hope's peak academy #school life of mutual killing #dr1 #headcanons #makoto naegi #kyoko kirigiri #danganronpa execution #mukuro ikusaba #enoshima junko #naegi makoto #kirigiri kyouko #ikusaba mukuro #78th class #class 78 #monokuma #tw: death #noodle writes