Tumgik
#could barely draw today but gotta pay my respects *salutes*
cyancees · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
birthday
5K notes · View notes
occupyscifi · 6 years
Text
The passion project
“You know, I still remember the moment the idea hit me” Will Wheatley stood on a podium, above a pool with the Silicon valley skyline behind him and all the people he respected and trusted in front of him. Will had e-vited everyone he knew, used the latest apps for spamming people who casually called themselves his friends and all the other people he had been boring the shit out of for the last six months as he had pursued his passion project “and you don’t need to laugh, because I’d been using the Ynspire app” there was a faux groan from a man in the audience and laughter around him. Everyone knew Bill Patton, CEO of Ynspire industries and creator of the app that made people want to make apps had been a big influence on Wheatley “and it just hit me, out of the blue” he grinned “because I know all of us have been in that bind. We wanna run our business. We need to get our passion project off the ground. But we need people. Only the people are asking too much. Funploy changes all that. Funploy finds you the cheapest people to do the quickest service. You want someone to iron your clothes? Usual guy cost too much? Funploy keeps you updated in real time so you get the most competetitive price possible” Will grinned as behind him stats of happy customers grinned back “this is the ultimate app for anyone who wants to make sure that their bottom line really is as close to the bottom as possible. For the little guy running a business trying to compete in a world of big beasts. For the mom and pop stores struggling to get by, to the young entrepreneurs out here in the valley today with barely enough cash to cover their rent – Funploy brings you the best workers for the best price – guaranteed!”
There was a polite smattering of applause and a few whoops from Will’s pals in the audience. Will looked around proudly. This evening was the culmination of two years of sleepless nights, of hard work, of burning through his savings and that of his parents with only this image lighting up his head. An app that would bring employer and employee together. Where when a worker woke up they could scroll through a list of employers as easy as a Tindr profile to find their day of work, no strings attached. Where employers left in the lurch could find anything from a PA to a bartender to a lawyer as easy as hailing an uber. Will knew it was an idea that would change the world. His only worry was that someone else would get there first, hence the sleepless nights spent coding, AB testing. Debugging. Dealing with the million and one problems that were part and parcel of every startup going back to the two Steves in a garage trying to change the world with a computer named after a fruit.
“now, ladies and gentlemen, before we get to the entertainment” Will gestured at the live band, a group who’d scored background music on a Pornhub-HBO miniseries and were on the verge of bigtime success. However before  that they’d been just a lo fi post hip hop nobodies who’d lived for free in Will’s spare room. This was the favour being repaid “does anyone have any questions?”
A sea of hands, some from known investors. Others from his friendship group, planted to ask friendly questions. However Will was feeling bold, and instead went for an actual journalist – the last of a dying breed and the human equivalent of using a polaroid camera or a VHS recorder.
“Shelly Ming, LA times” said the journalist, her e-glasses large and serious and channelling Margot Kidder era Lois Lane “this is a very slick startup you have here, and its already proved its success in California”
“sure has” said Will “next stop, the world”
“but how do you counter the criticism that you are creating nothing more than an app for undermining unions, destroying long term contracts and turning even white collar work into  zero hour no guarantee work for hire? You offer no employee protection, no rights, nothing” she paused “how do you counter the charge that you’re nothing more than a modern day robber baron?”
“Hey” said Will, his arms outspread “we’re a startup. My entire team is a couple of guys in a coffee shop. I’m no sweatshop owner or GM farmer” he looked incredulous “come on, this project is my passion. It isn’t about the money, it’s about changing the world”
That was the tagline that they’d be writing up the next day, the journalist realised looking up at Will’s earnest and plump face. That this was a project born of a passion to change the world for the better, a classic Silicon Valley dream made reality. Not to become rich, nor powerful. But just to see a human need and fill it. that was what Ynspire was all about, and that was what Funploy was about. It didn’t matter that Funploy gave its user (never employees, employees had legal rights. Users did not) lower wages by far than the national average, or offered no long term guarantee of work. It didn’t matter that it was driving employment agencies out of business. What mattered was that it made the world just that little bit more efficient, and therefore just a little bit better.
What was worse, as Shelly watched Will leave the stage, was that Will believed it all.
 “you know, I’m not like that” Will had cornered the journalist by the edge of the pool where she had been trying to get a shot on her ancient Nikon of the reflection of the water and the circulating investors and brogrammers that were partying. Shelly looked up to see Will’s earnest face, slightly sweaty in the warmth.
“like what?” she said, straightening up.
“like them” he said, twisting a beer bottle in his hands. It was a GM craft beer, made from an entirely unnatural substance but by a pair of Oregon based farmers. Shelly had tasted it earlier, it had been as if someone made liquid donuts with a dash of milkshake. Not really her thing, she drank Bud because that was what hardcore journos should drink. Will gestured at the investors, at Patton who was laughing away with one of the Uber brothers over some complicated glow in the dark cocktails.
“well, pretty soon you’ll be rich like them” said Shelly “you should enjoy it. you worked hard, after all” there was an edge of sarcasm in her voice that Will ignored.
“I didn’t do it for the money. I’m serious. I didn’t” Will look intently at the pool “I don’t know if you know what it’s like. Having a passion” he looked at her Nikon, at the complicated pockets on her jacket with extra lenses, extra film. All the unnecessary accoutrements when you could wear a pair of glasses that could get better pictures that could be immediately tweaked, edited, improved and uploaded by software “okay, maybe you do. So you should understand” he looked her in the eye, his wide face serious “you gotta remember, I didn’t have any guarantees when I began this. I didn’t have no big investors. No mom and pop trust fund. I worked during the day doing any work that would pay me a dollar – hell, half the stuff I put into Funploy was based on my experience working like a dog. Not knowing if I was gonna have a job in the morning”
“well now we all get to experience that uncertainty” said Shelly, raising her bottle of Bud in salute while she stowed her camera away in its padded bag “thanks man”
“come on, its not like that” Will looked over at the investors who’d helped make his dream a reality. He lighted on Patton “all I had was a dream, and you know nine out of tern startups fail. That’s why it was so important to have Ynspire, else I would have given up long ago” he looked back at Shelly “even so my odds of success were hella low. If I’d just wanted to get rich I’d have gone into something safe. I didn’t need to take a massive risk on a new app. I did it because I thought I could make things better. You know I used to hang around with brocialists? That was a big influence, I didn’t wanna be some libertarian asshole. I didn’t wanna be some Peter Thiel or Lucky Palmer type fucking people over for money…”
“and yet here you are” said Shelly, her eyebrow raised. She nodded at Patton “you know, you aren’t the first guy to use Ynspire to make an app that makes people’s lives worse”
“what do you mean?” asked Will “Ynspire doesn’t tell you what to do. It’s like Eno’s oblique strategies. It’s a method to help inspire creativity and to take you from idea to reality and beyond…”
“yeah, I’ve heard the tagline” said Shelly. She was starting to feel a bit light headed. She didn’t like these places, but if you were going to be a serious journo you had to follow power around. Like Hunter S Thompson and the presidential elections. Being in the belly of the beast made better journalism, and it also attracted better sponsorship – especially is she got kicked out for being drunk and rowdy “just, like I say. You aren’t the first. Lotta people using Ynspire end up coming up with the kind of apps that are one step away from illegal. Like that guy who created the militia app, or the one for spotting illegal migrants….”
“lots of different folks use Ynspire” said Will defensively, thinking of the other apps he knew people were making “besides there’s a friend of mine making an app so’s people on the poverty line can find the cheapest deals without having to trek to the nearest megamart. That can save people dollars who haven’t got two to rub together”
“and yet that app isn’t here, is it?” said Shelly, looking around “and do you think it would get this kind of investment if it was?” Will opened his mouth to argue back but realised she was right. He’d seen the app his friend had been working on, and both of them had worked just as hard. Only Will had got lucky when his friend had not. At the time he’d thought it was just the luck of the draw, and that in the end you never knew how the wheel would turn. Now he wasn’t so sure.
“look, just do me a favour?” said Shelly, itching to go off and shoot some of the techbro’s now they were a bit drunk and more likely to say something horribly misogynistic “when you get super rich, just use some of that money to help people, okay? Maybe your friend’s app, yeah?”
With that she was gone, and Will was left even more uncertain.
 “umm, hey Mr Patton?” Will asked the investor timidly “could we…could we have a word?”
“sure dude” said the investor of Ynspire grandly, his face flushed from cocktails and the adulation of the brogrammers present. Will lead them both over to a deserted end of the pool. The band were just finishing up and there would be some pitches by lesser developers, hoping to score drunken investment from one of the wealthy people present.
“so, what’s on your mind, bro?” said Patton. He was in his middle fifties but his trim shape and surfer like affability made him look two decades younger. That and the fact he could afford to blow a few hundred grand on cosmetic enhancement.
“its just….my app” said Will, he picked at the label of his beer which featured a picture of what the brewers imagined the taste would look like if you visualised it -  a hellish Wonka like confection with overtones of kids cereals from the days before the sugar ban “I just get the feeling. I dunno. That maybe its not what I want”
“how’d you work that out man?” said Patton, looking confused “you got a solid gold app. Its gonna be a smash. You worked damn hard to make it, you went the distance. You lived that app. How could it not be what you wanted?”
“its just….just when I used Ynspire, it just seemed a great idea. Now I’m not so sure. I mean, did I do the right thing?”
“look dude” said Patton, his eyes looking heavy and his voice slightly slurred “you wanna know the truth?”
“what truth?” asked Will, confused
“it’s a lie, okay?” Patton looked sly, watching for Will’s reaction “the passion project shit. Ynspire isn’t what you think it is. It’s not some life guide to help you fashion your dreams into reality. It works the other way around”
“umm, what?” asked will, unsure if this was a joke. Patton had a reputation in the valley for his odd sense of humour.
“well, it isn’t about turning your idea into a passion project. What it really is about is seeding a bunch of ideas we dreamed up but don’t have the time or resources to bother creating and getting you guys to slave away making them a reality”
“I don’t…” began Will, his lip trembling “I don’t know what you mean. I really believed in Funploy….”
“you didn’t. You don’t” said Patton “you were tricked into creating apps that fucked over other people. I mean come on, an app that allows employers to aggressively employ only the lowest paid workers? That makes ordinary folks fight to the death just to get paid a basic living wage? That isn’t anyone’s passion. Not unless you’re a sociopath”
“but…but its about getting the best results for employers” protested Will “and giving working people the freedom to…”
“no, no its not” said Patton “its about getting you to work like a fucking dog, thinking that you’ve had this great idea that’s going to change the world. Instead it’s an idea dreamed up by some executive on Wall Street that if they tried to pull would get them on the front page of the NY times and probably lynched on social media if they launched it themselves. But because you’re a  young guy running a startup everyone gives you a free pass. Because you have passion” Patton gave a twisted grin.
“but…but it was my idea” Will stood on the edge of tears, his beer bottle forgotten in his hand. For all his protests some part of him knew that Patton was right. It had been spooky how easily the idea had come into his mind, of course putting into practice had been all his own hard work. All those sleepless nights. The relationships it had ruined, the friendships it had cost to get the app first into alpha and then beta. The schmoozing it had taken to get it a favourable rating in the apple store “okay. Maybe not. But it was my hard work”
“sure” said Patton, patting Will on the arm “just keep telling yourself that, buddy. Your hard work, and you’ll get the reward. Well a decent cut of the reward anyway”
“what do you mean?” said Will, his confusion now turning to cold anger
“who do you think we bothered to invest in your app?” Patton said, knocking back another tequila and laughing “who took it from just some guy’s idea to a realistically funded prototype?” Patton tapped his chest “we did. Because it was our idea in the first place. You just worked on it, just like every other poor sap in this world. No one gets to own anything. Well, no one but us”
Will bunched his fists, imagining sinking one of them into Patton’s smug face. But then he struggled to control his temper, not least because it wouldn’t look good to punch a major investor at his own launch party. He was also curious.
“how’d you do it?” said Will, letting a fake smile move across his face. He’d hustled enough times to know how to fake it “cause I’m guessing a good chunk of the apps you’ve invested in have been your own ideas, right?”
“oh, its simple” said Patton, his face a picture of drunken malevolence “everyone who wants to be a bigshot developer downloads my app. Because they want access to quick cash and the buzz from other startups, right?”
“yeah, sure” said Will
“well, because no one ever reads the terms and conditions they don’t notice the small print. That the app doesn’t turn off, even if you delete it. we loaded it with subliminals and peripheral software so that whenever you look at your phone its sending input to your eyeballs. You can’t help but absorb the information. Advertisers use it all the time, only cause all of them do it doesn’t work right. If both Coke and Pepsi are equally hitting you with subliminals they cancel each other out. But for people already looking for that big idea that’ll make ‘em richer than a Zuckerburg? Its dynamite”
“wow, that is cool” said Will, already looking in his e glasses for the source code of Patton’s app. Naturally it wasn’t exactly legal to come by, but as a partner of Patton’s he had more leeway “imagine having that much power”
“it’s like having a permanent hardon bud” said Patton, staggering slightly as he tried to dance near the pool “and talking of hardons” he looked at one of the geek girls whose presence was meant to convince everyone that the famous Silicon Valley sexism was a thing of the past. Patton was about to prove this very wrong “I’m gonna sexually harass some of these chicks. Don’t get too cut up, not everyone can have great ideas, right?”
“yeah” said Will, who was already leafing through Patton’s code “I won’t get mad” will was trying to hide a smile. He’d had another idea, and this one he was pretty sure was his own. Because if Patton could subliminally lace his Ynspire app with ideas then Will could do the same. But Will had a more revolutionary intent, he hadn’t forgotten his time with the brocialists. Maybe this time he could change the world for the better.
0 notes