#could be news from January

[danrifics]

i feel like i have to vague post about something that happened yesterday cos i don’t like a narrative someone is putting on me

anyway i used up the 30 allowed tags for a post but i got everything i had to say anyway this is just for me to rant but if any of you happen to read it lol sorry for dumping that on you

anyway i know that everyone on here knows what kind of person i am and i would never intentionally target or make anyone here feel unwelcome i think the things ive done for the phandom in these last few months proves that

love you guys 💕

(and if you’re the person this is about if you’re allowed to make vague posts about it so can i it’s my blog and i can express thing i want to, also if anyone knows who this is about don’t go after them that’s not my intention with this post but i’m sure they might try and make it like in singling them out despite not naming them)

#in january there was a situation in which someone added something to a post of mine and in their tags said if i didn’t like what they added #they would take it down if i asked #(they also made a point to say they were too lazy to make a post of their own) #so i asked them to take it down mainly cos i said they could make their own post #they didn’t need to add to mine it was unnecessary #i admit my tone maybe wasn’t the best i basically said i didn’t wanna be an asshole but i was gonna be an asshole #and i told them they maybe should make their own way on tumblr #this resulted in them telling me i was insufferable and they told me to block them and they would block me #they then sent me a dm apologising for calling me insufferable but then told me i’d been mean to them a few times #the funny thing is as far as i know this was the first time ive ever spoken to them #i literally have no idea what they’re talking about #anyway we both block and i move on #then yesterday i get a message on the fake dapg blog from them #saying i need to block them in future on any new blog i make which let’s be real #not my responsibility to do at all #they also started the message referring to me as Beth #a nickname all of you know upsets me #they then proceeded to tell me it was starting to feel like i was bullying them #you know why? cos apparently i deleted their replies to the dapg tumblr blog posts #which i didn’t #do you know why those messages got deleted? cos we are mutually blocked #that means tumblr filters your replies out #i didn’t delete them tumblrs code did!! #it really upsets me that this person who i literally have barely interacted with has decided to create this narrative that im bullying them #when i literally haven’t spoke to them since january #i haven’t even thought about them since the #initial incident and look i know i can be a bit rude sometimes #but like i’m dealing with some pretty intense mental disabilities and i do t understand my own tone etc #for a person to say i’m intentionally targeting them when i’m not is not fun #especially when it’s someone i’ve literally interacted with twice

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

#have I slightly got out of this funk from January?? yes??? have I actually taken new pics? no not at all #gonna repost a classic pink teddy set thing but who knows #it’s been a struggle since like last summer and I wish I could break out of it

[sea-jello]

i was thinking about how old jeremy and michael would have been when they met and realised they could have be fifteen during the events of bmc depending on their birthday

so i’m asking for birthday hcs now what month do you think they were born in jeremy seems like a winter or fall kinda guy and michael seems like a spring kid maybe march or april

#give him the 4/20 bday #are there confirmed bdays #did i do the math right they could be 15 right i’m not going crazy #cause bmc happened around halloween aka beginning of the school year #if they have nov/dec birthdays they could have totally been 15 #okay i think jeremy’s a winter/fall kid but he’s older than michael and they’re in the same year #listen i have to explain this #so where i’m from usually kids who have their birthdays after school starts (so september) start preschool or kindergarten late a grade #so everyone in that grade gets their birthday during the school year ig idk why they do that #and this probably doesn’t happen in new jersey but i’m a firm believer in jeremy being older by a couple months #or i could just give him january #january for jeremy and march for michael look at that #that’s not intentional i swear #not consciously at least #bmc #be more chill #bmc musical #be more chill musical #jeremy heere #jeremy bmc #bmc jeremy #bmc michael #michael bmc #bmc headcanon

[saintedbythestorm]

Hopefully... one working pair of joy-cons.

#... this is my forth fucking pair... #you bastards better work. #can't believe we had to get new ones during bloody january but here we are. #i mean the last pair was already malfunctioning before the dreaded yeet but at least i could work around it. #before the stick fell off the left one already disconnected randomly from the switch. #yes. i meant it when i said my left joy cons are cursed. #ryder speaking

[lemonadeslice]

wooo another one!! i have been thankfully feeling this way for a while now, but i am so happy with the direction my art is going. it doesn’t really show in this reflection, but i’ve been trying lots of new things stylistically, and it’s been so refreshing. this year was the busiest i’ve ever been by far but drawing has been such a relief, which is good, because i was secretly terrified that an art degree would kill my love of casually making art. it did not. i still really, really like drawing. so imma keep doing that. happy new year, everyone 💙

#also new icon header!! we'll see how long it lasts. i stuck w the old toooo long. i don't my face to be a critrole anymore slkdjf #now i am an as of yet unposted drawing of my best friend meg reanimator. i don't change icons often but it feels so nice and fresh to.. mm.. #summary of art #mildly cheated on some of the early months because school! was! hell! and i only made like one thing per month that wasn't school related #and actually january's is school related. i think i finished it in early february but!!! i had started it in january so don't talk to me!!! #i think more than anything my takeaway from this year was that i like drawing blood i guess. #and also that my love of horror movies is worse than i ever imagined and probably permanent #i want everyone to know that the last four months could have all been reanimator. having it be two months was restraint. #and also that my brother got me a DELIGHTFUL and NASTY reanimator SWEATER patterned with DEAD CATS and SEVERED HEADS and i LOVE it DEARLY

[bangcakes]

.

#ladies.............. i asked him to hang out BDNJDNDJDJDJDJ #i guess..... background info maybe ??? #i had asked him if he wanted to keep in touch with me n one of our mutual friends. he said sure. #said mutual friend is gone on a trip all of january #so i was like oh fuck what do i do #so.... i was like oh i can like.... tell him like.... #blank is in blank. id still be down to do something or we could wait until she's back. either is good with me!! #and he was like.... (after over AN HOUR) 'i guess we could wait till she gets back' #so im like NDJDJDJDDKS OK. i sent.... okay let me know if you change your mind !! #like brb dying NDJDJJDJSJDMS #like could have been worse. like he could have said no to both. idk the 'i guess' is kind of sending me. #n e way. im just glad he replied. thats more than most ppl get from him JDJDJDJDJJDJDJDJ #hhhhhhhh ya... idk if i was ready to hang out with him by myself anyway. id like to get to know him better first.... #like i wanna see if we can even be friends outside of school....... n e way !!!! #so relieved that i just asked !!! its been hanging over my head a few weeks now. i just wanted to have a calm christmas n new years JDJDNDN #personal #ONE OF MY TAGS GOT ERASED. HOLD ON #... GOTTA GO ON DESKTOP TO FIX IT #edit: ok it should be fixed

[chemdisaster]

honestly santa claus and its ilk as a concept is such a cool tradition. like a guy in winter garb shows up in your chimney just to leave you a present. like he's just being nice to you just because you're you and you exist and that's all you ever need to be. that's fucking cool as shit. but then our parents went and decided to turn this into another tool to basically bargain with kids so they would behave instead of just doing their job as parents by instilling good values and an innate will to be kind. so now every december you have to meet some arbitrary criteria of "goodness" and if santa or whoever else decides you don't then your worth as a person is now unanimously agreed upon to be so low that you don't deserve a winter holiday present even from the random acts of kindness guy who's supposed to never ask for anything in return. now my letter to ded moroz has to be a short essay detailing exactly how i was the perfect kid all year round and why i deserve to get a present. we're telling kids to "behave or you won't get a present" when everyone deserves to get a present on christmas/new year's/whatever your holiday is. gifts are an expression of love and everyone deserves to be fucking loved.

so yeah anyway i vote we bring back the fun and lighthearted ded moroz, not the "all your worth is determined by how much coal you got in your stocking" ded moroz

#conflating my own traditions with the most well-known christmas/santa ones so i get my point across #haven't been a kid for a while now and i want new year to become something exciting again #and actually now i'm thinking of ways i could do that #like what's stopping me from leaving little presents for myself all over my room. i won't be any less excited about it will i #(well. time is stopping me because i'm leaving for my winter vacation tomorrow but) #actually i could buy some chocolates or something. just something simple to cheer myself up a bit #oh and did i mention my birthday is january 1st? #that's something to look forward to #prattledisaster

[bright-and-burning]

something deeply humiliating abt having to ask my parents for permission to do things as a 22 year old

#like. i moved to a whole other state and didn’t come home for more than a week or two #from. fall 2020 to spring 2023 #(and covid was the only reason i was home spring 2020) #and then i had to move back in. and now im like begging them to let me spend new years w friends lol #january 12th you cannot come fast enough. free me #tbf new years is our extended family’s big winter holiday (we’ve kinda created our own lol). BUT. they’re literally pushing it earlie #earlier* this year. so this is Ljterally the only year i could possibly do nye and not feel guilty/miss anything

[gggoldfinch]

hello ikea fam I come bearing an offering

I’ve come full circle with the release of the tua3 trailer help

(Click for better quality, do not repost :) )

#imagine my shock when I’m posting ikea mafia content so long after I nuked my old blog #if you know me… no you don’t 🙈🙉🙊 #this makes no sense to people who don’t already know me but I used to run a swedes stan blog #this is the only thing I’ve drawn in SEVERAL months (I did this in January it is now May) that I’ve been okay w posting on my new blog ffs #anyway these boys are a part of my very being and I occasionally draw oscar as a little comfort doodle so yea I still love these idiots #they’re also some of the only characters I can draw from memory aggshsjdkdkc #I could maybe post my playlists for them if anyone is interested 👉🏻👈🏻 #tua the swedes #tua oscar #tua otto #tua axel #ikea mafia #ikea fam #goldfinch draws

[oscartwofoxtrot]

hello! are you excited for mota?

I mean I guess I’ll probably watch it, but unless it’s like…a revolutionarily amazing piece of television you can expect this to remain a solely Generation Kill-based blog for the foreseeable future. Glad the HBO War fandom has something new to look forward to! I however am content to stay down here in this abandoned nuclear bunker with like twelve other people and our seven-episode miniseries from fifteen years ago.

#asks #truth be told i don’t really have a lot of strong emotions about mota other than a sort of vague academic curiosity #on how they adapt the ambrose + hanks/spielberg formula for the current media landscape #also i don’t want to be a doomsayer or anything but in my more cynical moments i do have some…concerns… #about the renewed attention this could bring to the generation kill fandom #i’ve already said i don’t expect our side of things to benefit from the influx of new people #and that’s fine! #but if the newbies start getting Weird about us i’m gonna start throwing hands #for now ​this is just gaming out worst-case scenarios. we won’t really know anything until january #and i cannot stress enough that i am just a rando on the internet and my opinions should hold no weight

[blizzardfluffykpop]

As a Kpop fan now, if you've been here since at least 2021/2022ish~ you've outlived 2 apps. V Live and Universe, congrats, you don't get anything, but you can say you've outlived them.

#congrats on outliving two apps #rip universe app #rip vlive #the reason i say 2021 is because vlive has been dying since at least January 2021 - we no longer had vlive+ but i can't remember when #they deactivated that feature but wild #universe down #as a uni (ptg stan) this is the funniest tag i've gotten to say #i'd say dance on their graves but vlive was such a queen and we lost her- i loved her- she made my days easier... i would watch vlives in #class all the time- and now we can't- and we got so many good things from universe even if it didn't mean physical releases- it was still #nice- we had sth similar to bubble and we could talk to our idols ( i didn't do this but i loved seeing the translations on twt ) #hybe is seeing each app as a cash grab and i cry sometimes- i can't forgive them- but anyways enough about that- #i feel like a fossil lowkey- it's not often i feel like a fossil in the kpop community but 8 yrs this year def takes a toll on your bones- #will i forever be keeping the uni app and vlive app? yes- they will forever live rent free- i will miss these eras as a kpop stan #achievement #outliving #congratulations #i've had this queued since feb. 17th when the messages from idols officially ended- it's so sad esp cause kyunbebes will have no access #to talking to him if starship finds a new way to make a new app because they won't include him 😭 i hope by the time this queues sony #comes up with a solution and treats our boy right- also ever think about all the idols that enlisted beforehand? like vlive died while they #were serving!? it's so sad- anyways i'm done rambling- pls enjoy this queued post #queued post #yes the app doesnt officially close til 5/31 @ 4 am et- but the messages being gone = huge loss #sorry besties- i seriously am gonna miss both apps i already grieved the former 😔

[eissaphir]

The Dawn of a New Day in Hope County

#Far Cry 5 #Hope County #FC5 Photomode #FC5 Screenshots #Far Cry 5 Screenshots #Unfortunately I can't remember in which region I took the screenshot... This is literally from the 1st January of 2019 #I wanted a new header and looked through my screenshots folder and eventually decided on this one #So I thought I could just post it too #Screenshots #My posts

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#um so i just got some mildly life altering news #and bc i dont talk to ppl irl i come to yall to gossip bc i dont think id be allowed to talk to ppl here abt this anyway #so my boss got a job offer from another school and shes gonna take it starting in January #shes gonna take it bc the school we're at now fucking blows and does not treat her or anyone especially well #our fucking building is so fucked and its not Even that old #the autoclave is constantly broken and like thats vitally important for like 3 labs and the heating is fucked #if the lights go out stuff gets fucked up. the air is constantly not working #its all fucked and i dont blame her for leaving. i would too #but my plan was to be in a phd by next fall. so where does that leave me? #my options are to go with her to this school in a city that i profoundly dont wanna live in and roll thst into a phd with one of the #astrobiology ppl there. when they're stuff really isnt of interest to me #or i could stay here for the spring and talk to her over zoom and finish up our projects and then the money runs out at the start of summer #so ill probably do the latter bc i wanna get outta the fucking desert and i literally just renued a lease until april #but yeah. that kinda wild. now ive really gotta get serious abt finding a program bc the end has a hard deadline now #and i dont wanna end up living at home with my parents like my loser sister. no judgment on moving back in with parents #she was just real mean to us growing up so i passively resent her for it #anyway what a weird weekend. yesterday i was all... its not mania idk what to call it. i was being crazy and my brain was going too fast #and ive not been sleeping well so i woke up feeling real real bad #like the kinda tired where everything is kinda spinning and unreal #then i had to go talk to this guy in the lab abt coding stuff in the lab for like 2hrs and it was way over my head #and then i got this news. so now im laying on the floor #hhhh well maybe this is a good thing. maybe its the push i need to stop being so fucking depressed and actually focus #i only have to keep doing this shit until next summer. i can keep it together until then #unless these last projects destroy me like they have every other time ive done the same thing sigh... #ugh shut up! focus. find a school. find a program. get the fuck outta the desert #unrelated #also apparently im the 1st to know abt this info bc it literally just happened so yeah i dont think im allowed to talk abt it

[moltensunlight]

Designing a Forest to go with this particular Tethys, since the other version of Forest I drew before is like,,,, an entirely different style from this lmaooo

#I put the one I posted before next to this Tethys #and jesus /christ/ the incongruity #but it at the very least gave me the idea to put Forest next to Tethys #PLUS I needed to draw him full-body so I could design his armor & gear properly #so this is what that is #sorry I’ve pivoted away so hard from fandom stuff 😭😭😭😭 #I know that only like 2 people are interested in my boys #I’ve been really struggling with balancing things in my life since getting my new job back at the end of January #and these oc’s have become my biggest comfort characters #Forest & Tethys #Forest #Tethys #my art #my oc’s

[missshame]

Ding dong it's mental distress time

#Soon I'll make a sideblog where I can rant and shit and keep this one for music related stuff so I'll stop being so annoying on main #But for now #I feel so shitty lol kinda saw it coming kinda did not #Like yes I'm overworked cause I have been studying pretty much all day everyday since Monday and I also have studied a lot these past few #weeks #But at the same time I've been studying less than I usually would #Like I took two weekends off for Christmas and new year's eve #And I've never allowed myself to relax this much around this time because I always have exams in January #So basically I guess allowing yourself to spend time with your love ones for like four days isn't that crazy but I still feel like I've bee #Been very self-indulgent #And also the fact that I'm like almost getting enough sleep #Not studying past 8 or 9 pm #And allowing myself around 40 minutes of exercise a day makes me feel like I'm not doing enough #Like I don't feel like I'm studying enough unless my life is becoming as unhealthy as it could be lol like either I'm doing nothing but #study either something feels off #So yeah I'm very tired but like #Not derealisation kinda tired you know so I don't feel like I'm suffering enough to complain or to be allowed to expect a passing a grade #Which is fucked I know #Like I'm almost nostalgic from two years ago when I was studying all day during winter break and emptying bottles of rum in my room #At night to help me fall asleep #After studying real late #Anyway that's not how I imagined the #College life #also this way of studying led me to burnout the next semester #like I passed my finals but it was the lowest point for my mental health #and then i could not study for a whole semester and I failed #So like I know I shouldn't study more because I can't take it and it wouldnt work in the long run but I still feel like a complete failure #But nvm sorry goodbye

[nikatyler]

I agreed to give university one more try and finish my exams. And then attempt to do all that I have to do in order to graduate. At a slower pace. Bad idea, I already regret it and hate myself for making people believe again that I can do that.

#basically my new therapist suggested that i wait with dropping out until i have my meds #buuuut here's the thing #no one is available. every doctor we tried to call was like yeah maybe try calling again in like october or january #i can't wait that long. i'm already suffering #we'll keep trying of course #but i doubt i'll get any sympathy or relief from the university if it takes too long #so...idk #i don't want to keep talking about this but i need to get it out #nika rambles #mental health tw #wait i wasn't clear about the meds thing #basically she said 'if you decide now maybe it will be your depression making that decision for you' #i mean she has a point but i'm so tired #and honestly if it's the depression then i've been depressed for so long #that i can't even imagine what i could be like not depressed #like...i doubt i'll magically be able to do things #if that makes sense #i don't know it's late goodnight #depression tw