#couples are gross

[k-wame]

JACK BLACK & JAMES MARSDEN The D Train (2015) · dir(s). Andrew Mogel · Jarrad Paul

#do you do you do you know how dark they shot this scene just to not gross out cishet viewers? photoshop was exhausted but came thru #james marsden #jack black #filmedit #the d train #film #movie #andrew mogel #jarrad paul #comedyedit #couple #kiss #affection #intimacy #desire #amor #passion #lovers #gay #lgbt #queer #queer media

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

unpopular opinion but whump should and deserves to be messy

"Yeah duh there's plenty of scenarios with blood and tears--" no. I want more.

I want pink tinted spit dribbling out of Whumpee's mouth. I want strings of saliva connecting between their busted lip to Whumper's tongue. I want drool running down the corners of their mouths because of a gag that makes it difficult to swallow.

I want sweat making Whumpee feel sticky and clammy to the touch. I want their skin to be slick and soaking into their soiled clothes. I want them to squirm in discomfort of a dirty shirt clinging to their back from precious fluids that are going to risk further dehydration. I want their hair to be continuously damp and hanging in thick strands in their face.

I want the scabs to turn white with pus and black with infection. I want old wounds to tear open and bleed a thick red. I want the pink flesh underneath to pulse and quiver, the sight of yellow fat and cartilage. I want blood vessels and capillaries to burst and spread over an area, I want burns to start brown and peel away to a tender pink.

I want Whumpee to vomit out of their nose because their mouth is gagged. I want bile to reek on their clothing and on their tongue. I want them to grow use to the taste of bitter blood and burning chyme forever in the back of their throat. I want them to have to snort and hack to be able to spit out whatever was still caught on their tongue or risk swallowing it down.

I want their tears to remain unwiped and crusting over their eyes. I want snot to smear over their cheeks and leave their lips uncomfortably tacky. I want their face to remain blotchy and red because they just can't get it clean. I want dirt and blood and skin to build up under their fingernails to the point they risk infecting their own wounds if they try and mess with it. I want Whumpee to only be sprayed down with cold water and an old towel, never any soap and never in all the creases of their body.

I want their bodies caked in grime and viscera and bodily fluids. I want Whumper to never give them the luxury of feeling clean and in fact actively making them more filthy each time. I want Whumpee's clothes yellowed and their hair matted and their skin sickly. I want injuries to never properly heal so that the only option is to amputate the necrosis. I want Whumper to force Whumpee to clean up whatever kind of mess they made by licking it off the floor.

I want arteries to spew like a garden sprinkler. I want the exposed roots of pulled teeth to dangle freely in their mouth. I want Whumpee's hair, including all of their body hair, to grow to unruly lengths that are constantly tangled and ingrown. I want them to find comfort in starving because it means there's nothing to risk throwing up. I want them to scrub their skin raw and bleeding, uncaring how much it aggravates their injuries or how the soap stings, the first chance they're given for a real bath.

I want it to be nasty!!!!!!

#whump #whump community #whump scenario #whumpee #whumper #whump ideas #implied whump #whump prompt #whump writing #whump tropes #whumpblr #mouth whump #teeth whump #fingore #hand whump #tw blood #tw vomit #im sorry if this is vile but that is simply how i feel #uuuhhhh i tried to tag things i think i mentioned that are yucky but if i missed something lmk #yeah anyways tho -- MESSY GROSS WHUMP!!! MORE THAN JUST TEARS AND A COUPLE DROPS OF BLOOD!!! #whumpee is gonna puke! they're gonna piss their pants! they're gonna be sweaty like a full body work out every day! #and if it's an intimate whumper on top of that??? so many nsfwhump fluids to be added...

[foldingfittedsheets]

It’s so sad Tumblr doesn’t have joint custody on posts. If I add silly art or funny stories to someone else’s take then off it goes into the aether. I’ll never know how many people liked my addition. It drifts off with a bit of my essence to damage the psyche of others without my watchful eyes upon it.

#ramblies #there’s a couple that I wish I could subscribe to notifications off my thread for #I almost made a much grossed analogy but I held it in

[lazylittledragon]

added some neck deeps to the collection

#ramble #tattoos #neck deep #the first one was a couple of weeks ago #it looked very gross and awful while healing so i didn’t show it #it’s one of my favourite tattoos ever but iT’S SO HARD TO PHOTOGRAPH #the second one is from today #don’t get a tattoo right before jumping into a mosh pit #it was covered but cleaning it when i got home. so many liquids

[loveourfuture-c]

My favorite power couple.

#this photo is obviously them being the ultimate married power couple #OBVIOUSLY #never have i ever #benvi #nhie spoilers #never have i ever spoilers #otp: difficult personalities #ben x devi #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #Mrs. and Mr. Vishwakumar

[cemeterything]

my take on the akiangel dynamic is that aki would give angel one of his cigarettes and offer to light it for him so he can do the indirect kiss thing but by the time he pulls out his lighter angel has already eaten the cigarette

#🐉 #chainsaw man #akiangel #sorry i just cant stop thinking angel 'eats food off the ground' and aki 'lives with 2 gross devilmen' making the funniest couple

[droodlebug]

it’s 2am i just finished Vash Drinks Shampoo

#droodles #trigun #vash #vash the stampede #vash trigun #nicolas d wolfwood #wolfwood #wolfwood trigun #milly thompson #milly trigun #meryl stryfe #meryl trigun #oh my god. tags. gross #this is silly it was in my brain and now it is out of it enjoy #i also do not animate except for like. once every couple years so dont look too close lmao

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#this whole scene was chefs kiss #perfection #officially all in #babes we did it #screaming #my heart #love #power couple #never have i ever #nhie #benvi #ben x devi #devi x ben #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #Jaren Lewison #maitreyi ramakrishnan #cute things #love this scene #long distance #4x10

[paskuda-lynx]

Now this is the weird cartoon I'd watch.

There would be some very questionable humor, screaming (and i kinda really miss Hunter's screeches from the second season. He was GREAT while raising his voice, no matter what anybody can say about it being annoying), grotesque episode scenarios, cool uniforms and much else!

#invader zim #the owl house #emperor's coven #emperor belos #hunter the owl house #golden guard #the main thing in this is the change of genre regarding the visualization of the Golden Guard's castle life: #from heavy angst towards (sometimes inappropriately) dark comedy #i wonder if i sould make a tag for this idea given that i maybe will make a couple of other sketches abt it... okay how's this #emperor's coven cartoon #although i am very sad about the fact that i am no match for jonan vasquez's levels of grotesque. #i guess i don't have the guts to torture characters and make gross perspective angles in Really Vasquezy Manner #i am too soft . #or maybe it's a good thing given that this fandom probably won't react pretty at making absurd satire from trauma material

[eaion]

DUE SOUTH 3x02 - Eclipse and 3x05 Seeing Is Believing

#I'm so sorry but the remastered version is also so dark and pixelated I'm crying :') #due south #duesouthedit #fraser/rayk #benton fraser #ray kowalski #the canon gay couple from the nineties :D #my gif #paul gross #callum keith rennie

[cerise-on-top]

Fasching with König

Because today is Faschingsdienstag, I just had to write something for him on that day! Today is the only day I can post this, afterwards I'll have to wait over a year again! Fasching is an Austrian holiday that is essentially the last day before fasting for 40 days, so people go all out with food and drinks and festivities, they even dress up in costumes! It's not nearly as fancy as what some other countries have, but it's tradition! Besides, who am I to say no to a Krapfen with König!

Mentions of alcohol, but König is Austrian, so what did you expect?

First off, he hates going to the city during that “holiday”, there are far too many people, the crowds are way too big and it’s too loud for his liking as well. The only reason he’s taking you to the city on that day is so you can experience more of Austria with him. At least that’s what he tells you, in reality he just really wants to go eat a Langos or two and drink a few beers. No one would judge him for that on Fasching, there are crazier bastards out there than him. He’s never been a fan of Fasching, not even when he was a kid. The only reason he looked forward to that day was because he could go home from school earlier than usual. But other than that Fasching had always irritated him. He was never one for playing dress up either.

He couldn’t say he was surprised when you came up to him, demanding for the two of you to dress up as something. The most König would do on his own would be to put on a pair of bee feelers on top of his head, but he would never consider putting on a full costume. Not only was there a chance people would stare at him, but he’d feel awkward as well. Besides, which place would actually sell a costume in his size? Not a common one. You’d need to be a bit annoying for him to put on more than just bee feelers. He’s more willing to play dress up with you as long as you put on something as well, though, even if it still wouldn’t be anything too fancy. If he can find one, he might put on a Winnie the Pooh onesie, but only because it’s somewhat comfortable, somewhat warm and because there are weirder people than him out there.

He’d hate seeing the Faschingsumzug, but he’d tolerate it just for you so you can see all the wagons together and comment on all the costumes. The music is far too loud, there are people surrounding him on every side and he still hasn’t had a single drink yet. Tragic. You might wanna hold onto his arm before you’re being swept away by the crowds. Although König usually isn't one for PDA, in this case he’d prefer to keep you close. It keeps him a bit calmer and you’re not getting lost in a city or town you barely know. You can drag him around all you want, though, he’ll comply, even if he might roll his eyes a bit whenever you wanna go take a closer look at some of the other costumes and wagons. However, get ready to be dragged to one of the nearest stands for a few Langos. They’re not amazing, nothing special in the slightest, but they’re not bad either. He’ll pay for them, naturally. You can choose between a regular Langos, a Toast Langos or even a Käsekrainer Langos. König will likely have eaten all three due to his massive appetite, but you’re more than welcome to take a bite out of them as well.

Once it’s finally getting a bit later and the masses are starting to disperse, that’s when König will be a bit less grumpy. He gets to finally go to a bar with you and drink to his heart's content, his highlight of the day. You can drink whatever you want, from soda to Pago, from Spritzer to Jägermeister, he’ll always go for a few beers. While he might seem a bit grumpy at first, once he’s had his first beer he’s a bit more cheerful, König just really hates big crowds. However, he got to spend another day with you, which is all he could ever want. While you’re sitting at the bar he might take out a few Krapfen for the both of you to enjoy as well. Might joke about getting some Heringsschmaus with you the next day, even if you don’t like fish. It’s tradition, it’s part of the Faschingszeit, but that doesn’t mean he’s a big fan of it either. No, he much prefers the Krapfen you can eat during Fasching. Not big on fasting, he loves beer and meat too much to give up either of those things and won’t even do so if you ask him to. He’s a simple man, he knows what he wants and he knows what he likes. You can pry his Schweinsbraten from his cold dead hands, and even then he’d put up a fight.

Although König loves spending time with you, he will be glad once Fasching is over and once you finally voice the thought of going home. He’s tired from all the people and the alcohol makes this situation only slightly better. Even so, despite all of that, he’s looking forward to the next holiday, proper or not, he can spend with you. Due to him having drunk some beers, he’ll likely stay in bed a bit longer the next day. A perfect opportunity to snuggle up to him for a bit. Afterwards you can discuss what you would like to eat together.

#cod #cod x reader #könig #konig #könig x reader #konig x reader #I was so unhappy when I had to go through town today and there was no way through so I had to go around town to get home #I was so incredibly pissed about that #but hey my father made Gulasch today! and he put a blueberry quark strudel in the oven! it was so creamy and good! #so food wise today was amazing for me! #I even wore some cat ears at wok. the other apprentice and me were the only ones who “dressed up” today which was a shame #even though he only wore devil horns and that's it so nothing big either #but there are people who dress up entirely! but you barely see couple's costumes here. I saw none today in all honesty #I saw a lot of ladybugs though! a few bees! piglets! sunflowers! #it's a colorful festival! but a lot of people drink on this day so not a lot of them will be at work tomorrow! good #the only reason König would love this holiday would be because of the beer #you guys don't understand just how much alcohol Austrians drink we're far far above the EU average #the state I live in is far above the Austrian average as well my father told me today #so yeah we drink lots and lots of alcohol. beer for the most part but Spritzer is also really popular. Spritzer is superior though #beer is just disgusting and gross. I've tried it once and it was so bitter. but this is coming from someone who likes Jägermeister haha #I didn't get a Krapfen today though which is so incredibly sad :( Maybe some other time but it won't be a Faschingskrapfen :(

[xoxoemynn]

hey if you're going to leave replies on posts that deliberately misconstrue what a brown, Jewish man says in an attempt to get some moral superiority points and then blocking the OP immediately afterward,

you're racist

you're antisemitic

you're a coward

you're honestly just fucking stupid

you are doing literally nothing to help Palestine

Get the fuck over yourself. Stop spreading conspiracy theories and do something productive with your life. It is honestly really gross to be exploiting a devastating genocide as some sort of "gotcha" vendetta against an indigenous man who literally has NOTHING to do with it.

Go contact your representatives or go to a protest or donate to one of the organizations that's doing something to actually make a fucking difference. Because the cancellation of a goddamn TV show is not going to be what brings about peace and liberation in Palestine.

#literally do you fucking hear yourself? #I shouldn't be posting this and I won't be acknowledging any other BS that comes my way #but this is truly gross pathetic behavior #truly do you feel good about yourself? do you feel like you made a difference? #maybe spare a few minutes to rub a couple of your brain cells together and see what happens #ANYWAY

[vlasdygoth]

butcher

(+ bonus ocelhira)

#mgs #revolver ocelot #mgsv #ocelhira #id in alt text #blood #under a cut bc its kinda gross #not excessive but like thats not either of their blood. #kind of a companion to that comic i just posted. blood on the mind recently #thinking about kaz watching ocelot torture people. normal couple behavior

[bloodsbane]

fuck it. making a poll for my homies who also commit biting/picking crimes

#banebabbles #bane poll #orally fixated fidgeters unite #cw picking #i have no idea what else to tag this as. forgive me #in spirit there's an option that is just specifically the little callous you develop on your finger where your drawing utensils rest #but yeah. man. god. you know nothing is safe from me #my heels are a disaster pls dont look at them #been trying v hard the last couple years to reduce how much ive picked at them but it's difficult lol #im not a nail-biter anymore so that's good but the trade off is that i never have nails still #bc i just clip them if they start getting long enough haha #still it works best! #my lips and fingertips remain unsafe tho #used to chew on my cheek meat a lot more when i was younger but ive mostly stopped that #scabs... aw man.... depends. but usually um. not safe from me alas #SORRY TO EVERYONE. I KNOW THIS IS KINDA GROSS #but lol this is how it be sometimes

[shadowsdancingwithtulips]

“Omg Hunt likes toes that’s so gross!” “Eww it’s so cringey that he wanted to-“ SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! THATS BRYCE MOTHERFUCKING QUINLAN!!! TELL ME YOU WOULDNT FALL TO YOUR KNEES AND LICK HER FEET IF SHE SO MUCH AS LOOKED AT YOU!?!!?! “But he licked her toes-“ AND???? HE LOOKED GOOD DOING IT!!! HUNT ATHALAR ISNT A FUCKING PUSSY, UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU WEAK ASS BITCHES!!!! MY MANS IS HAPPY TO SHOW LOVE TO EVERY SINGLE PART OF HIS GORGEOUS SEXY PRINCESS AND IF YOU CANT HANDLE THAT THEN GTF OUT OF HERE!!!!!

#but seriously like have none of you ever been in a relationship???? #like that was super normal cutesy cringey couple shit #and don’t hit me with that #‘ew no you’re also gross’ #newsflash: people who are in love get comfortable around each other #and then do weird shit together #that’s what being in love is all about #anyways this may seem like an overreaction but I’ve seen so many people freaking out about this and I felt I had to defend my boy #hunt athalar #pro hunt athalar #cc #Bryce Quinlan #quinlar #hosab #hofas #hoeab

[see-arcane]

There are going to be some inevitable misreads with the line, “Arthur says I am getting fat.” To clarify, Arthur’s likely speaking from two obviously-pleased/complimenting perspectives

1. Assuming she wasn’t bluffing about her current state, Lucy was previously wasting away and feeling unhealthy. Her gaining weight is a good thing! Which Arthur, seeing an improvement in her well-being, would obviously comment on.

2. Recall that this is all going down in a pre-’Skinny = Sexy’ era. Girls sought a plumper figure as a sign of health and beauty, and guys sought girls for the same reason. In fact, toward the very far end of the 1890′s the only fat shaming trend skewed towards assuming plump women were promiscuous. “What are you doing with all that cellulite, you harlot? Tempting poor, innocent men?” But, Arthur being the smitten fellow he is/will be revealed as in coming chapters, is obviously 1000 miles from the latter, but thoroughly appreciating the former.

Or, in short (again, assuming she is not fudging true events to Mina):

Arthur: Lucy, you didn’t tell me you had a twin sister.

Lucy: What? I don’t have a sister.

Arthur, extremely proud of himself, holding up a peach: Then why do I see such a family resemblance? :)

Lucy: Arthur, my mother is UPSTAIRS--

#21st century readers living in a Fat = Ugly; Skinny = Hot period: 'What a rude dick how dare he! >:(' #Arthur Holmwood in reality: 🍑👀❤ #I honestly like to picture both him and Lucy as skirting the very edge of propriety when in private #not in Coppola-level wanton manner but in the same way we see Gomez and Morticia being magnetized to each other #obviously not the goth couple of the book--hello Mr. and Mrs. Harker--but no less gross together #good for them #lucy westenra #arthur holmwood #dracula #dracula daily