Certain Doom (DA Soulmate AU)
A/N: I am not even remotely sorry.
“So have you chosen a canon Inquisitor yet?”
Yes! My first elf girl who romanced Cullen.
canon quiz?
“Whichever character you use to build the world state for your next game is the canon,” Lisbeth explained. “Mine is an elf, too, and I romanced Cullen, too. I’ll fight you for him, Ashley!”
u guys and your jocks i swear
i only have the one playthrough and i’m romancing solas for the lols so idk
my canon is unwritten undefined so we’ll see i guess?
We can share him, Liz.
Thunder rolled, rattling the windows and making Lisbeth jump. “Oof! It’s storming here so I might cut out,” she said apologetically. “If that happens I’ll just restart the stream, no worries.”
Storming here too! Ashley replied in the chat.
yeah same Hayden agreed. weird
“It’s not that weird. Storms happen. Speaking of, how should I upgrade Bethany, you guys? Do I make her an ice mage, or...?”
One second, storm is picking up and I need to check my windows.
ICE ICE BABY
Back! Is Force mage unlocked yet? Been forever since I played DA2...
ICE ICE BABY!!!
OMG fine do ice or Hay will never let it go.
Let it gooooo, let it gooooo, can’t hold it back anymooooooore!
“Okay, ice it is,” Lizbeth said, smiling at her friends’ antics.
FUCK THAT WAS CLOSE SHIT SH
you ok Ash???
“Ash?”
o fuck ME
“Hay?” Lisbeth called, frowning at the chat log. She waited a few seconds before calling their names again. The number count on her stream hadn’t changed, so their systems were still logged on and watching her playthrough. But... they weren’t answering. The hairs on Lisbeth’s arms and the back of her neck stood on end all at once. She shivered, looking to the windows where the constant flicker of lightning kept illuminating the driving rain.
It looked like the lightning was getting closer, maybe she should-
Her world dissolved into brilliant white.
Too late.
It took three blinks for Ashley to realize something was wrong. That wasn’t her ceiling, this wasn’t her bed - what the hell? She sat up and looked around. To her left was a person, curled up with their back to her. To her right, another person, curled up with their back to her. She made out red hair to her left and dark brown to her right. Ashley was the only conscious one, and while that remained true, she intended to find out as much as she could.
She stood up and dusted herself off, frowning when she realized that her clothes had been changed. She’d been in pajamas, but now she wore a green coat over a simple gray tunic and pants. There was a soft gray cloth wrapped loosely around her neck and when she felt behind her head she found a hood. Hayden ran her fingers over her hair - wrapped in a complicated braid and significantly longer than she remembered it being - and froze when her fingers encountered delicate fleshy points.
Pointed ears. Elf ears. What?
“Oh. Ow.”
Hayden turned and saw that the brunette was sitting up, one hand to her head. Now that her hair had shifted, she could see that this person also had pointed ears. “Hey...” Ashley said, awkwardly waving.
The brunette looked up, squinting and revealing large, luminous hazel eyes set in a delicately featured face that screamed Disney Princess™. “Ashley?” she said, looking confused. “You look...elfy.”
“Hayden?!” Ashley dropped to her knees and immediately grabbed the smaller elf into a bear hug. “Hate to break it to you, but you are also elfier than normal. Wait, is there a normal amount of elfiness we should be shooting for?”
Hayden laughed and hugged her back. “No clue. Think that’s Lisbeth?”
They broke apart and turned to the last person, still unconscious on the ground. “By process of elimination, probably? But where are we, why are we elves, and what the hell happened?”
“Search me.”
There was a low groan from the third person, and then vicious grumbling in what Ashley recognized as German. The body on the ground flopped over, revealing a thunderous expression made even more ominous by the thick brows overshadowing dark eyes that looked-
“Lisbeth?”
“Ja? I mean, yes,” the redhead said, sitting up. “What-?”
“It’s me, Ashley, and that’s Hayden. I think...well, I think we might be in Dragon Age? Somehow?” She sat back on her heels and clenched her hands into fists on her thighs, trying not to freak out while she sorted her thoughts verbally. “We’re all elves now? And you look like that picture of your Inquisitor you showed me screenshots of, and Hayden looks like the Inquisitor she’s been streaming, so I-”
“You’re blonde, and very tall, and look sort of like a cat,” Lisbeth said bluntly. “Actually, the eyes are kind of creepy in this light...”
“I think they look cool,” Hayden said, giving her an appraising look.
“Not important right now, guys! We might be in Dragon Age! Dragon Age!”
“Yes, but where?” Lisbeth asked.
“And when?” Hayden chimed in.
“Hell if I know, but we need to find out, fast.”
It took mere minutes for them to sort out what they could, because it wasn’t much. They confirmed that yes, all of them had been morphed into their canon Inquisitors (only Inquisitor, in Hayden’s case), but with a few small changes. Hayden’s hair was significantly darker, almost black in the dim light of the tunnel they’d found themselves in. Lisbeth’s eyes were purple, which made her mutter about Mary Sues and bad fanfiction. Ashley’s eyes had been green in her Inquisitor’s canon, but the switch to amber-gold didn’t bother her, since it added to the, as Lisbeth put it, ‘creepy cat’ aesthetic.
None of them had the vallaslin they remembered choosing.
They were all wearing what looked like a facsimile of the Inquisitor’s gear in the game’s opening, minus most of the armor. Each of them identically outfited in green, gray, and brown. They had no weapons, and only thirty copper coins between them.
“We’re fucked,” Lisbeth said.
“Don’t be so negative,” Hayden chided.
“We’re fucked!” Lisbeth repeated, this time in a faux-happy chirp.
“We’re Schroedinger’s Fucked,” Ashley said. “Our state of fuckery is yet to be determined because we still don’t know where or when we are. Lets follow the tunnel and see where it leads.” She looked down the tunnel. She could only make out another fifteen feet before it took a sharp turn out of sight.
“You going anytime soon?” Hayden asked.
She shifted on her feet. “Yes, just-”
“Let’s go!”
Lisbeth and Ashley exchanged grim looks before following Hayden down the tunnel. It took another ten minutes of walking before they saw signs of habitation. There was an offshoot to their tunnel that led to a door. Since the door had three obvious traps and probably at least twice as many ones they couldn’t see, they kept going.
Eventually, after several more nerve-wracking minutes, they emerged into a larger area, lit with torches. There were a few people waiting outside of what looked like a house, built up against a curve in the cavern’s wall. There was a sign by the door of the house, and the sight of it made Lisbeth grab both of her companions and yank them to a halt.
“We’re in Kirkwall!”
“Fuck,” Hayden sighed. “I haven’t played this one yet.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been several years since I played this one,” Ashley muttered.
They both turned and raised their eyebrows at Lisbeth.
“I haven’t played it in two years! I was in the prologue!”
“Do you remember what you chose? Odds are, we’re in your worldstate...” Ashley pointed out.
“Um... I was playing a Rogue Hawke, male because-” she paused and smirked at Ashley.
“Shut up,” Ashley hissed. She could feel her ears twitching as she glared. She swept her hands up and clamped them down over the pointed ends. “Shit, this is going to take some getting used to.”
“You’re one to talk,” Lisbeth muttered. “At least your ears are normal sized.” She reached up and poked at one of her own ears, easily the largest of the three of them. They’d all gone for wildly different looks when designing their Inquisitors. Aside from being elves, they couldn’t have looked more different from each other if they’d tried.
“Guys! Focus!” Hayden said, scowling at them.
“Okay, so we’re in Kirkwall. Great, not ideal but it could probably be worse. Now, when are we?” Ashley said.
“Well, if the clinic is there, then Anders will be there,” Lisbeth pointed out.
“Great! Let’s go, then,” Hayden said, turning on her heel and heading for the building. The other two scrambled after her, reluctant to enter but utterly unwilling to be left behind.
The clinic was large, and appeared to be in the process of expanding.
“Act Two!” Lisbeth murmured. “Must be!”
“Maybe not,” Ashley replied. “Look, there’s-”
“Can I help you?”
The voice had all three of them turning to face the speaker. There was a tall human male with reddish hair pulled back into a half-tail striding towards them. He had a thick coating of stubble lining his jaw and looked tired.
“Oh!” Hayden cried out, curling over and falling sideways into Ashley.
“Is your friend ill?” Anders asked, speeding up.
Lisbeth raised her hands as if to ward him off: “She’s fine, thank you, we’ll just go now, we don’t want to be any-”
Ashley bodily picked up the smallest elf, backing away from the mage.
Too late, a wash of cool blue magic swept over the trio as Anders’ eyes lit from within. “Wait, you-” he froze in place, eyes raking over each elf in turn. “What have you-” he shook his head and swayed in place, eyes screwing tightly shut. Suddenly, little wisps of light started to emanate from behind his closed eyelids.
Lisbeth shoved Ashley towards the door, “Now would be a good time to-”
“Run?”
“Yes!”
They booked it, ignoring the strange echoing cry that called for them to halt.
“What was that?” Ashley asked, poking Hayden in the forehead.
They’d sprinted till they’d found sunlight and what was probably the docks, based on the water, boats, and people bustling around. They were seated on some barrels in an out of the way corner, catching their breath.
“Ouch! Don’t Itachi me, you weirdo.”
“Well, stop Sasuke-style brooding, then.”
Hayden scowled, rubbing her hand over her heart. “I don’t know, I felt...something. Like a pull? I don’t know how to describe it. It got worse when I saw him, though.”
“That was Anders,” Lisbeth said, sounding shellshocked. “Anders.”
“We’re in Kirkwall, yes, Anders is here,” Ashley said.
“We have to stay away from Anders,” Lisbeth said firmly.
Hayden grimaced, but didn’t say anything.
“Hey, Liz - have you always had that tattoo?”
Ashley’s words had her frowning: “Tattoo? I don’t have-”
“Your hand, look at it.”
Lisbeth looked down at her hands, ignoring the way they’d gotten longer and skinnier since her transmigration into an elvhen body. There was nothing on the backs of her hands, but on the palm of her right hand she found three symbols that looked like a cross between hieroglyphs and cuneiform. The symbols were a vivid and sparkly pink.
“What the fuck?” she breathed. “What the fuck! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fucking FUCK.”
“Shit, I think you broke Liz.”
“I didn’t mean to!” Ashley cried.
“What is this shit?” Lisbeth exclaimed before switching to German and going into a tirade neither of the other two could understand. She paced back and forth in front of them, kicking out at the barrels and walls as she passed them. Finally she stopped, fisted her hands at her sides, and yelled at the sky.
One of the barrels abruptly caught on fire.
“Hey, Liz?” Hayden called.
“WHAT.”
“I know this isn’t the best time, but I think you might be a mage, too.”
“FUUUUUUUUU-”
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Marja Aeducan | Darvis Brosca
Allys Mahariel | Ellimere Tabris
Rosalind Amell | Shay Surana
Sirena Cousland | Isette Kader
picrew here!
(check out the read more if you wanna hear me ramble about my warden kiddos)
Marja Aeducan - Champion - Ambitious, Charismatic, Strong-Willed
Although she was the second-born, Marja had a natural talent for politics and lofty goals within the Orzammar nobility. Becoming a Warden was not something she would have chosen for herself, but after a long period of adjusting to the surface, shifting her perspective, and getting through a brief identity crisis, she took to it very well and became a well-respected Commander. Through a long journey of bickering actually became very close with Darvis and thought of him and her fellow Wardens as family. She romanced Sigrun in Awakening because canon is fake and I do what I want.
Darvis Brosca - Assassin - Sarcastic, Clever, Protective
For most of his life, Darvis was mainly concerned with surviving life in the Carta and taking care of his family. Getting recruited by Duncan and moving to the surface with the Wardens gave him a sense of freedom he’d never known and didn’t quite know what to do with. Dust Town left him with a cynical outlook that he never quite shook, but his surface friends did soften him up a bit. He didn’t stay with the Wardens permanently; once the Blight was over and he knew Rica had a good life in Orzammar, he decided to travel with Morrigan and raise their son together. He would rarely admit it but he did grow to consider Marja family as well.
Allys Mahariel - Ranger - Curious, Confident, Cheerful
Allys loved her clan with all her heart and was devastated to leave them behind, especially not knowing what happened to Tamlen. Her clan was her entire world and she felt that she could never really belong anywhere else. But she kept her head high and resolved to make the best of things, and to do whatever good she could as a Warden. Despite the homesickness that never quite went away, Allys grew to care deeply about her new companions. Alistair was her BFF, and she and Zevran adored each other and went on to adopt a whole gang of kids after the Blight was over.
Ellimere Tabris - Duelist - Brave, Compassionate, Determined
Elli had a lot of complicated feelings about joining the Wardens. When she agreed to it, it was with a fair amount of reluctance and guilt. She knew it was for the best, but still felt like she was abandoning her family. As it turned out, however, Elli made an excellent Warden and was really good at the whole ‘saving the world’ business, and went on to use her influence as HoF to improve conditions for all elves Ferelden. It was hard at first to let herself trust her companions, but she became really close to both Leliana and Zevran and surprised herself by falling head over heels for Alistair. She was heartbroken when he died killing the Archdemon, and vowed to find a cure for the Calling and prevent any more loss to the Blight.
Rosalind Amell - Blood Mage - Rebellious, Outgoing, Creative
Ros had a reputation as a troublemaker in the Circle, and it was pretty well deserved. If she hadn’t Joined the Wardens, it wouldn’t have taken long for her to try and escape on her own (or rather, with Shay- she would never leave them behind). She didn’t take the Wardens very seriously and mostly viewed them more as a means of keeping her freedom, but when push came to shove she was willing to do whatever it took to protect people who needed her. Morrigan was like a sister to her, and she ended up in a poly relationship with Leliana and Shay.
Shay Surana - Spirit Healer - Introspective, Intelligent, Methodical
Shay came to the Circle at a young age and was quickly recognized as having a natural gift for spirit magic. They focused on their studies and tried to stay out of trouble (which with Ros as a best friend wasn’t easy.) In spite of that, they never regretted helping Jowan and readily accepted their new role in the Wardens. It gave them a lot of new opportunities and was, in their opinion, better than living out their life in the Circle Tower. They had a complicated relationship with Wynne, their former mentor, was best friends with Velanna, and ended up in a poly relationship with Ros and Leliana.
Sirena Cousland - Berserker - Direct, Pragmatic, Passionate
Being a Cousland meant that for a long time, Sirena thought she knew exactly what her life would be like...but that obviously didn’t pan out. She went through some rough times dealing with the loss of her family and former life, and for a long time was more focused on revenge against Howe than the Wardens. She bonded a lot with Alistair over the people they lost, and went on to marry Anora and become Queen alongside her. Becoming Queen gave Sirena a new sense of purpose, and her relationship with Anora was actually quite sweet and helped her heal and actually deal with her grief.
Solenne Kader - Spirit Warrior - Observant, Empathetic, Innovative
With a reputation for deftly handling tricky situations, Solenne was an obvious choice to be sent to Ferelden after the Blight. She came from a family of merchant dwarves and left the business willingly to become a Warden- she found the topic of the Blight fascinating and wanted to study Wardens and their connection to the darkspawn firsthand. She was very interested in pursuing the new questions raised by the existence of the Architect and poured a lot of effort into renovating Amaranthine.
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