#covering septic tanks
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booker’s new nickname is shitface
#that is raw sewage. out of our septic tank.#we had it pumped and i guess some escaped the hole and didn’t get covered when the hole was filled#booker
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Hurricane
This is part 1. You can read part 2 here.
Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader
Summary: The upcoming bachelor party that Carmen has to cater causes some tension between him and y/n.
Word Count: 9.5k
warning: alcohol, mentions of throwing up out of nervousness but no one actually does, or even comes close, fighting, smoking
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Three hundred thousand dollars, what kind of fucking moron takes out three hundred thousand dollars just to blow his brains out and let his younger brother foot the bill. What kind of cosmic douche does that to another person? Y/n would never say something like that out loud but she certainly was thinking it after Carmen told her about the debts that he apparently owes on top of the bills he had yet to pay. In fact, Carmen was barely scraping by, he cut his pay check till all he had was enough to cover rent and the bare bones necessities. Rather than cut anyone’s pay, or cheaping out on ingredients, he sacrificed almost everything for this restaurant, for his brother. And what did his brother leave him? A three hundred thousand dollar bill. Once again, what a dick.
“It’s not-” Carmen started. “It’s fixable.”
Y/n didn’t say anything, she continued to scrub the stop top and kept her face neutral when in reality her blood was boiling. It’s not her debt and she is completely free to run away before this ship sinks but she couldn’t help but stay. She had convinced herself that the reason she stayed was because this horrible and completely fucked restaurant was like a train wreak, you can't help but stand and watch it crash and burn. Definitely not because of any other personal reasons.
“We just have to keep our heads down and get through the year and we can get some money off of our tab.”
More silence.
They both knew it was a pipe dream, no matter what they did at the restaurant, they could only make an insignificant dent towards the impending debt. Y/n didn’t want to be negative when Carmen was doing his best to not crumble under the pressure so she looked up with a small smile. She wondered if the smile translated as an optimistic smile or a pity smile.
Carmen sighed, leaned against the wall and rubbed his face with his palms in an effort to wipe away some tension. Looks like it translated as a pity smile.
“Tell me something good, y/n.” Carmen mumbled through his hands.
It was like the words were lost in her mouth. What could she possibly say? What collection of words makes this shitty situation any better? The answer is none, sometimes words mean nothing. No amount of consoling or baseless optimism could make this situation look good. If you can’t make a shitty situation look good then you should at least make a shitty solution look good.
“At least you have those bachelor parties, you can knock off a few grand.” Y/n offered.
“Yeah,” Carmen agreed half-heartedly. Looks like she couldn’t make the shitty solution look good either. Y/n gave herself one more attempt to lighten the mood before she sewed her mouth shut, crawled into a hole and died.
“And let's not forget that your “loan shark” is your uncle and he won’t smash your kneecaps.” Y/n jokingly muttered, “Probably?”
Y/n heard Carmen exhale through his nose. Y/n lives to speak and live another day. After testing the waters for the past few months, y/n realized that in order to get Carmen to stop going into crisis mode she had to either talk about a solution or completely distract him.
“What's the payment situation going to be like? …What is the interest?”
“No …no interest, just a clean 300k.”
“That's fair, adding interest on a loan like that would be like throwing shit in a septic tank. When is the bachelor party?”
“Uncle Jimmy is coming by tomorrow to give the details for that stupid fucking party.”
One quality that has persisted through out the years was y/n ability to not know when to shut the fuck up. The trait was helpful when filling the silence between the both of them. Carmen liked to listen more than talk, he didn't have anything to talk about except depressing shit. So when the air was filled with anxiety and tension y/n did what she did best, make a damn fool of herself.
“You think there's going to be strippers?”
Carmen looked up from his hands and gave out a laugh out of shock and it sounded like music to y/n ears. She wished she could record it, he really did have a nice smile and she wished he smiled more. Good god, he looked so… so…
“There will be at least strippers.” Carmen snickered while hiding his smirk behind his hands. It's like he knew she was waiting for it and was depriving her on purpose. This was a good learning moment for y/n though, shock humor lands well with Carmen.
Y/n moved on to scrubbing the floor because she wasn’t able to look Carmen in the eyes after asking, “Have you ever been to a strip club?”
She didn’t even have to look up to know what kind of look she was getting. She heard a bewildered laugh and looked up and was met with an amazing view. His head was thrown back and his hand was running through his hair.
For a brief moment, y/n tried to convince herself that all of the embarrassment she put herself through wasn’t worth it but after stealing a few glimpses of him she could confidently say it most definitely was.
“No I haven’t. You?” He then straightened his head and grabbed a towel and started scrubbing too.
“Of course, I've been. I used to work in one, you know?” Carmen’s head shot up.
“Yeah, but I needed a career change.”
“You worked in one? As a… dancer?” Carmen asked not quite being able to tell if this was a joke or not.
“You call strippers “dancers”? What are you, 90? No, I was not a “dancer.” I was a bartender.”
“Hmm” Carmen pondered before adding, “I knew you couldn't be one, I saw you slip on air this morning.”
“My lack of coordination aside,” y/n rolled her eyes jokingly, “I spent a lot of time seeing the routines and stuff and I could never, I can barely run a mile let alone swing around on a pole. Those strippers are stronger and braver than the Marines.”
“I have a cousin in the Marines,” Carmen added while scrubbing a particularly tough stain.
“Tell him that he’s a little bitch.”
Carmen stopped scrubbing and gwaffed into his fist. On the outside she looked normal but inside she was scratching the skin off her face in joy. She really wanted to seal the deal.
“Would you ever be a stripper?”
3-0 favoring y/n because Carmen looked up at her and laughed, and not a reserved one. A full one with an open mouth and red face.
Holy fuck… what the fuck was she doing? She could be home right now rewatching a nature documentary to unwind. She should be asleep right now. It's 12am and here she is sitting with her boss on the floor counting how many times she can make him feel good. And the worst part? She was enjoying herself.
“I don’t think I would make a good one.” He said as he moved closer to y/n and scrubbed at another scuff mark.
He would make a great one, y/n thought. He has huge arms, a quiet but powerful persona, a sculpted face, and beautiful eyes. Y/n had to resist the impulse to say that she would throw all her money at him right this second.
“It's your eyes.” Y/n humorously pondered, “They’re too intense, am I going to get a lap dance or am I going to get into a long and meaningful relationship?”
Carmen's gaze lifted towards y/n, and she wrestled the urge to lock her gaze with his mesmerizing cerulean eyes. She wanted to etch into her memory the way the yellowing lights danced upon his irises, as they transitioned shades, but the flutters in her stomach were making her woozy.
Y/n was a coward, so unsurprisingly she looked away, but not before stupidly adding, “You could add a blindfold to your act, I bet that would make the girls go wild.”
What in the flying fuck was she talking about, y/n screamed in her head. Y/n had some nerve calling The Beef a train wreck when she was watching herself crash and burn and not being able to stop herself. It felt like an out of body experience, like she was watching someone else fuck up her life.
Carmen looked like he was thinking about something and y/n wondered if she would have the courage to pick up her last check after she got her ass fired.
“Judging by the amount of shit I have to deal with in this stupid fucking place, being a stripper is starting to look more and more…” Carmen stared at y/n for a split moment, “tempting.”
Y/n was glad that he had inadvertently stopped her from saying something really stupid but she needed a quiet place all to herself so she could squeal like a teenage girl.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, y/n was starting to notice how close they were and in order to stop herself from getting a sued for sexual harassment she forced herself to call it a night, and that was a tough call to make. Y/n smiled at Carmen before softly mummering, “Carmy, you’ve got a big day tomorrow why don’t we get you home?”
Carmen's posture straightened, and a slight haze seemed to veil his eyes. Rising to his feet, he extended a hand towards y/n. In the instant their palms met, a surge of thoughts flooded y/n's mind, realizing how deeply she would miss this touch once they released. The fleeting moment barely allowed her to relish the sensation, leaving her with only a passing recollection of his hand—warm, calloused, and undeniably strong.
After grabbing their stuff from the lockers, y/n glanced at her phone that showed 12:14am. The walk home was going to be a real bitch. Carmen did one last walk through before leaving. Y/n could have left after she got her stuff but she stayed for a bit longer. She leaned against the windows of The Beef watching Carmen leave the restaurant and lock the door. He didn't look a bit surprised at her still waiting for him, he knew she would always be there waiting. It was a tradition, they would close up and he would walk y/n to her car. He would wait till y/n car was completely out of sight before he climbed into his car and drove to his place.
“Where did you park your car?” Carmen asked while shuffling through his bag to find his own car keys.
“My car is at the shop, I'm going to walk home.”
“You're going to walk home after dark? It's like 1 in the morning?”
“It's 12:30 and it's not that big of a deal, and if I get tired I'll just uber the rest of the way home.”
“That's how people get kidnapped, y/n”
“Don't worry, even if I do get kidnapped, I'll still miraculously make it to work on time tomorrow, and I'll have an epic tale to share for years to come." Y/n joked. "Why don’t I walk you to your car for a change? Where did you park?"
Carmen hesitated, not because he didn't want to offer a ride but because he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. It's just a ride home, it's not like ridesharing amongst coworkers is something new.
“Let me drive you home. This is not a great neighborhood.”
“My place is opposite from your place, I'm not going to hold you hostage. Go home, you have a big day tomorrow.” Y/n pulled up Google maps to see how long the walk would take, 35 minutes wasn't too bad.
“It's fine, I wasn't going to sleep right away anyways.”
Y/n shot a disapproving look. "Do you honestly think I was born yesterday? I mean, come on. You're planning to stay up late after a long day at work today and another one tomorrow?"
“Let me do this for you…Please.”
Y/n was contemplating beating his ass with one of the 2x4s lying around, how fucking dare he look at her like that when she is already holding her self back from jumping his bones. It was maddening. In that moment, the streetlight cast an ethereal glow upon his hair, transforming it into strands of pure gold. She couldn't deny the captivating effect it had on her. And that infuriating expression he wore, as if he had the power to make her surrender to his every whim, was driving her wild. If he had asked for her kidney with that look, she might have found herself on her knees, desperately clawing at her own abdomen to fulfill his request.
“Ok, thank you so much Carmen. You really are…kind.” Y/n tried not to look at his eye because she knew that she would feel another flutter and now she had an audience watch her throw up from overstimulation.
“It’s the least I can do.” Carmen didn’t have the courage to thank her for making him feel better about the restaurant’s financial situation so this was the best he could do.
They both walked to Carmen’s car in silence. Y/n had an unstoppable itch to fill the silence with some asinine conversation but she resisted. She knew as soon as she got home she would scream into her pillow for bringing up strippers and blindfolds to her boss, and she didn’t want to add more things to cringe about. They could be 85 and she would still pucker her face when remembering this night.
They finally walked up to Carmen’s car, and Carmen opened y/n’s door for her. Y/n had to keep from fainting right then and there, she was a grown woman and Carmen was doing the bare minimum by helping out an employee and here she was fighting a blush. He walked over to the driver side and started the car.
“You good?”
“Sorry.” Y/n hands were shaking from the nerves.
“I can't find the seat belt connector thing, it's too dark."
Carmen wordlessly grabbed the seatbelt from the base and trailed down the belt, softly grazing his knuckle on her collarbone before gently taking the buckle from y/n's hands and guiding it to the right place.
Y/n mumbled a soft thanks. They both looked away for a second, both of them completely floored by Carmen’s boldness. Y/n couldn’t take this anymore she needed to get out of here before she became a stuttering mess, “Let me look up the directions, I’m geographically blind so I need Google to tell me where to go. I've been working here for months and I still need someone to tell me to get home.” Carmen pushed his tongue against his cheek to stifle another laugh.
“Geographical blind”, who says that? That's literally the lamest fucking thing you could possibly say. Y/n was going to go home and watch a few meditation videos in the hope that she learns how to shut the fuck up.
The ride back was nice and quiet. Y/n was too tired to talk and she was starting to feel guilty for making Carmen drive her home, he should be even more tired than her. They finally pulled over to y/n’s place, and she sat in the car for a few seconds to ground herself before she looked over to Carmen who was looking straight through the windshield.
“Thanks again Carmen.”
“Will your car be back tomorrow?”
“The day after.”
“I’ll drop you off tomorrow then.”
“That's too much Carmen, You aren’t obligated to do this. I’ll just leave a little earlier so I can catch a train.” Carmen looked like he was not satisfied with that response. Y/n didn’t want to leave early because she liked her time alone with Carmen but she couldn’t keep imposing.
“I’ll drop you off, it's not a big deal.” He left no room for negotiation.
Y/n smiled at him before grabbing her purse. Carmen got out of the car and walked around to y/n’s side to open her door. Y/n got out with as much grace as a toddler, she really needed to go to bed.
“Carmen, you really are too… you're just too…” Y/n struggled to find a good enough word before mindlessly blurting out, “Good.”
Y/n couldn’t see his face because the streetlamp was too far to illuminate his face so she didn’t know if she made him uncomfortable.
“Thanks again, I’ll see you tomorrow Carm.” Y/n softly mumbled before walking into her building and while waiting for the elevator she saw that Carmen was still leaning against the car door. She gave him a small smile not seeing if she got one back. The elevator ride up was filled with y/n jumping, dry heaving, and overall panic induced mayhem. The second hand embarrassment was too much. The elevator dinged and she went into her place and looked out the window to really burn the memory into her brain. This is the exact date and location where Carmen dropped her off.
She was surprised to see that he was still there. Everyone at work knew what apartment building she lived in because she invited them over for dinner recently, so it wasn’t a surprise that he knew the general area on where to look for her apartment.
She flicked on the lights and picked up her phone to dial him and watched as his silhouette fumble around to find his phone.
Carmen spoke first, “I just wanted to make sure you…”
“I got home safe.” Y/n opened her window before giving him a wave from five stories.
Y/n continued, “Go home, chef, I want to see you bright and early tomorrow.” She saw a blur of what she deciphered as a wave.
“Night y/n”
And with that y/n closed her window and Carmen drove off. It was 1 in the morning so she didn’t jump or scream into her pillow like she intended to because her neighbors would kill her. So she settled for a shower and eventually passed out.
Y/n was not a morning person my all means and told Carmen as an off handed comment a few months back. He offered her later hours so she didn’t need to come in super early for prep but she could stay to clean up. She got ready and got to the restaurant at around 11:30 am, where she found Carmen, Richie and an older man seated on a table at the far corner of the restaurant.
Before she could slip away to make herself busy in the kitchen, she was called over by the older gentlemen with a finger curl. Y/n turned around assuming that he was indicating someone else only to find that no one else was there but her. She looked over again and pointed at herself and Richie rolled his eyes before kicking the chair next to him to indicate that she was to sit. Y/n took off her headphones and sat across from the old guy and in between the cousins. Carmen looked up and wordlessly gave her a polite greeting.
If this was money problems why is this old fart calling me over?
Awkward silence.
“Good morning.” Y/n started.
“Morning, did Carmen fill you in?” Carmen’s “uncle” asked.
"I'd be delighted to put a name to your face. I'm y/n," she said with a warm smile.
“I'm Cicero…” Y/n pretended to look a bit puzzled, “Uncle Jimmy, yes, yes, Carmen told me you were coming today”
No one filled the silence so y/n stepped in.
“As much as I love the mystery, I do have work to do…so…why am I here?”
Cicero spoke up, “Carmy’s got that catering gig at that bachelor party on Friday and we were wondering if you would like to help.”
“Catering to a bunch of drunks on Friday night, seems like exhilarating” Y/n said sarcastically. “I'll be there. I’ve got to the kitchen, I shouldn’t leave Tina alone with my prep-”
“Look, I'm going to be honest with you…” Cicero continued, Y/n glanced sideways at both Richie and Carmen but they looked as confused as she did.
“Did you work out front a week ago?” Cicero asked.
“I covered for Richie on Tuesday?”
“One of the guys, the groom, saw you and thought you…looked…” It looked like he was embarrassed to finish what he wanted to say. “They want you to be there.” Cicero finished.
“This is what you were holding off on, we’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes in fucking silence so you could solicit a fucking chef?” Richie said in confusion before laughing and leaning back to glance at Carmen on the far right who was visibly livid, which caused him to laugh even more obnoxiously.
“Be there and do what?” Y/n pondered, a flicker of concern crossing her mind. She couldn't help but wonder if this was how human trafficking stories began. She wasn’t really paying attention to either Carmen or Richie, but she could feel that it was getting tense on her right, where Carmen was seated.
“I'm just going to rip off the bandaid. They want you there to serve drinks.” Y/n couldn’t hide the look of bewilderment and relief.
“Jesus, you were making it seem like I was going to have to sleep with them…Yes I can serve drinks. I’ll be there” Y/n got up from her chair and Cicero added.
“Do you know what a Hurricane Shot is, y/n?”
Y/n immediately sat right back down, she let out a laugh and she was in decent company because Richie was also dying right next to her.
“They want that…” Cicero finished awkwardly.
Carmen looked up after trying to burn a hole into his table. “What the fuc-” Carmen fumed.
“What’s the pay like?” Y/n asked.
“Without you 5k, with 10k”. That made Richie stop laughing.
“Let me think about it.”
Y/n got up and walked out back. She stole a quick glance at Carmen who was sharing some choice words with his “uncle.” Y/n thought that she might as well get back to work. She was going to serve drinks no matter what but she had a feeling that she would get some resistance.
The rest of the shift was relatively slow and Carmen was in his office for most of the day. Around 8, it looked like there weren't going to be any more customers so Carmen finally got out of his cave and let everyone leave early. He stood with his back straight and arms crossed in front of his office, his eyes narrowed at y/n. Y/n thought she could not deal with the brunt of this confrontation by herself, so she looked at Richie trying to nonverbally communicate for him to stay. Luckily, Richie understood and stayed and it was just the three of them alone at the restaurant.
Carmen went inside and it was implied that the both of them should follow.
“I'm going to serve at that party.” Y/n whispered.
“Yeah, no shit you are.” Richie agreed while whispering a lot less quietly.
“It's 10 grand.” Y/n reasoned
“Who says no to 10 fucking grand?” Richie exclaimed.
They both walked over to the office. Y/n stood against the wall, it felt like she was being sent to the principal's office.
The silence was killing y/n so she started, “It's just one day.”
“Only a few hours” Richie offered
“Which is basically just a few minutes.” Y/n reasoned.
“Which is really just a few seconds.” Richie added.
More silence.
“It's a lot of money cousin, and y/n is up for it.”
“Yeah, 10k in a few hours. I mean it would be totally crazy to say no.” Y/n remarked.
“You would be fucking crazy to say no.”
“Yeah, Carmen, it would be pure idiocy to say no.” Y/n chimed in.
Carmen rubbed his temple and then looked up. “That is not happening. You aren’t doing this.”
“It's 10k, Carmen, and all I have to do is pour some drinks. It's like money is just falling on our laps, we have to take advantage of this golden opportunity.” Y/n added, “God helps those who help themselves.”
“You're religious?” Richie questioned
“No, but he’s Italian and they're religious, right? I thought it might help my case.” Y/n whispered.
“I can fucking hear the both of you.” Carmen was annoyed and y/n realized she didn’t really know how to convince him to let her help him.
“What specific issue do you have with me bartending at this party?” If she got to the root of the problem she could find a solution that helped ease his worries.
Carmen brooded in his corner. People didn’t give Richie enough credit, he was pretty good at reading a room and he knew that it would be better if he left Carmen to y/n.
“I got something tonight.” Richie spewed out before turning around to get the hell out of there. As he was about to leave he mouthed You got this? Y/n gave him a subtle thumbs up.
They both stood in silence hearing the sounds of Richie walking around the kitchen to grab his keys and get his charger in the front, and eventually the door chimed meaning that it was now just Carmen and y/n.
“Tell me what the issue is. Do you have safety concerns?”
“That's one of many concerns.” Carmen knew he was being difficult but he couldn’t let this happen.
“I'm just pouring drinks, I'm not going to be doing anything super dangerous.”
“You are going to be pouring drinks for coked out dickheads. How is that not dangerous?”
“It’s nothing I haven’t done before. Besides, your uncle told me that I'm going to be giving hurricane shots, if anything I'm the dangerous one.”
Carmen looked up and furrowed his eyebrows. “Do I even want to know what that is?”
“You don’t know what it is?” Y/n had to resist snickering. “So basically, you would take a shot, then I would splash water on you and slap you…Do you want to see a video?” Y/n ushered Carmen to the only chair in the office.
Carmen didn’t know why he was humoring this and he didn’t want to admit it but he was wondering what the appeal of getting slapped was. If it's just slapping a few guys then maybe it wasn’t too bad…
Y/n pulled up a video and any bit of him that could have been convinced to let this happen shriveled up and died. It was a video of a woman in a very revealing dress sitting on a table splashing and slapping horny middled aged fucks. Absolutely not.
Y/n looked up from the video and saw that she made it worse. Carmen was sitting silently in his worn out chair, not even looking at the video just staring at the floor.
Carmen felt a hand on his shoulder and felt y/n come closer, he could feel her breath on his neck and it was making it hard to breathe. Softly, y/n whispered, “Carmen, you are being perfectly reasonable and very respectful but this is a once in a lifetime situation.”
A soft pause passed while y/n was trying to formulate the right words.
“You do so much for me so let me take care of you, Carmy.” Y/n rarely called him that and the name slid down his spine causing him to shiver.
Without even having time to think about what just came out his mouth, he mumbled a soft “yeah”. Carmen looked just as shocked as y/n. Neither of them were expecting that, y/n was expecting to have to postpone convincing him till tomorrow.
Now the next hurdle was making sure that Carmen didn’t change his mind. “Why don’t you stay with me during the party? That way if anything happens you'll be there. Will you be my designated bodyguard for the night, Carmen?" Y/n playfully feigned a pout, allowing Carmen to remain silent, sensing that he might need some space to process the request
She slipped out before taking a deep breath, Jesus that was stressful. People killed each other for 10k and he was just going to throw it away. Y/n wasn’t going to let that happen, even if he said no she would have snuck into that party and got Carmen his 10k.
She surveyed the kitchen, it was spotless. There really wasn’t much to do because the other chefs had done most of it but she had a feeling that if she left Carman alone, he would change his mind. So, she did what she did every single day, scrub these stupid floors.
A few minutes had passed and y/n was wondering about what she should wear to an event like that? A small dress was a necessity but she only had a small black one from her college years. Would it even fit, it's been years since she last put it on? She needed to find her old pair of black pumps from college too, she knew they were deep in her closet. And while she scrubbed and planned her outfit for Friday, Carmen came out of his office and joined her wordlessly, taking the towel from y/n’s hands and scrubbing for her.
He finally looked up, “I will be by your side the entire time. You can’t go anywhere unless I can see you-”
“What if I have to use the bathroom?”
“No.”
“No?”
“What if some sleazy fucker is waiting in the bathroom?”
“I doubt it. But ok, I'll hold it.”
“You can't cross the counter.” Y/n wasn’t going to anyways.
“And I have to drive you home.” That stupefied y/n.
“What? Why?”
”What if one of those limp dicked pervs follows you home?”
“Carmen, you’re thinking too much. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I’m not letting you do this unless-”
“Alright Carmen. We will do this your way.” Y/n gave him a smile to show that they were good.
Carmen quickly glanced down and continued scrubbing the floor. The rest of the night was spent cleaning the floor and eventually neither of them could come up with any other excuses to stay together. There is only so much time you can spend scrubbing and organizing an already spotless kitchen.
They both went back to the lockers, grabbed their stuff, did a final walk through, and locked up. Carmen drove her home, y/n said goodbye through the phone and waved out the window. Y/n knew that this routine couldn’t last because she would pick up her car tomorrow morning but she was debating slashing a few tires just to make this last a bit longer.
The next day y/n came in at 11:30 and was pulled aside by Richie.
“Is it handled?”
“It's a bartending gig not an assassination. And yes.”
“That bastard said yes?” Shocked didn’t really cover what Richie felt.
Y/n shrugged her shoulders, “I know you wanna crack a few jokes but he is tethering and I don't want him to-”
“No wise cracks.”
“Also, the crew thinks I'm catering, could you keep the bartending underwraps.”
“Sure thing princess.”
“Do not-”
They were cut off by Fak and y/n took that as her sign to leave. Other than that, the day was exactly the same. The only other difference was that at the end of the night she had to walk to her car with Carmen.
“You can back out, you know. This debt is my brother's… and now it's mine. You shouldn't get involved in this shit show.”
“Do you feel like you're taking advantage of me?” Carmen didn’t say anything.
“How about you give me the day off tomorrow and we'll call it even. Paid leave.”
Carmen smirked, “That's not really even.”
“I'm giving you less than 24 hours notice and don’t even have a good reason to miss work tomorrow, I'm being a bad employee and you're going to let me get away with it. It seems plenty even to me.” They had ended their night relatively early, it was only 11pm and y/n wanted a few more minutes with Carmen, so she took a few wrong turns. Was that a selfish thing to do? Yes. But did it feel right? Also, yes.
They finally “found" her car. Carmen opened the door for her after she unlocked it. Y/n pulled out her parking spot and then drove off. But she didn’t forget to wave out the window and in the rear view window she could see that he was waving back. Y/n drove for a few minutes before double parking in an open street to rest her forehead on the steering wheel. She rolled up her windows and squealed. It felt good to be able to do that after holding it in for the last few days. She composed herself and drove home.
The next morning was brutal because she had to completely gut her closet to find that black dress and heels. After a few hours she found them in the same box that held her cap and gown. She laid them on her bed and then went to get a haircut. On her way back she saw a tattoo parlor and walked in and asked if they had any temporary tattoos lying around. They found one wedged between some binders, it was a large rose.
The night was quickly approaching and she had to leave soon. She had finished getting ready and right as she was about to leave she remembered the rose tattoo. Y/n ran to the skin, and peeled her dress up leaving her thigh exposed and placed the rose tattoo there. She grabbed a long black jacket and then she called an uber to take her to The Beef. The jacket covered up her cleavage but her legs were mostly bare and she regretted not wearing a pair of sweats for the commute.
The restaurant was closed slightly early but it still was pitch black when she got there. Richie and Carmen were finishing up moving chairs and tables. Y/n walked in and the chime alerted them that y/n had arrived.
“Hey guys. When does the party start? Am I too early?”
Carmen’s face betrayed nothing so she couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. Richie smirked, “The band of dickheads are coming in about 20 minutes.”
“Can I see what the booze situation looks like?” She got a short tour of what the food and drinks situation was going to look like. She hadn’t taken off her jacket because it was still a bit chilly.
“Carmen, can you turn up the heat?” Carmen walked over to the thermostat in his office to adjust it to y/n comfort. With only 5 minutes before the party was supposed to start, y/n thought she might as well take the jacket off.
“I feel a bit out of place, I'm the only one dressed up.”
Richie gwaffed,” Don’t worry you’ll be in good company with the strippers. Honestly, who's going to know the difference.” Y/n raised a cup of iced water to chuck at Richie.
“Hey, save that for our esteemed guests.” Richie said as he walked as far as possible to avoid getting splashed.
Just as y/n was about to tell Riche to fuck off, Carmen walked in. He took one look at y/n and spent the next few seconds trying to generate a coherent thought. The first wave of guests came in and Carmen lost his chance to say something but it's not like he could come up with anything marginally comprehensible anyways. In a few hours the party was in full swing. Richie was sitting in the kitchen but the thumping music, the smell of booze, the reverberating sound of obnoxious drunk laughter was giving him a migraine so he went outside for an hours long smoke break, he wondered how Carmen was doing.
Carmen was not doing fine, he was doing horrible. The lights, music, and dancing were making him nauseous. But the thing that really tested his patience was the guys ogling at you. Y/n wasn’t really paying attention to any of the guys but they were getting more and more drunk.
The room was lit with purple and blue lights and it was difficult to tell what was happening, and even though he knew it was wrong that didn’t stop Carmen from taking a few peeks at y/n back side throughout the night. If the back was rendering him speechless he could only imagine what the front looked like. The thought that these piss pots were seeing her would send him into a blind rage but the fact that each one of them would get hit in the face made it a bit more digestible.
A guy came up to y/n, and Carmen walked right up to them to know why this fuckhead was talking to her. The groom had asked for the first hurricane shot. Y/n sent him away for a few minutes to give her time to set up. She turned to Carmen and gave him a mischievous smirk.
“Payback time.”
Even though they were in a very crowded room, y/n smirk made him forget it. It was a small and private gesture and no one else would be privy to see it. It was just for Carmen and no one else. That made him feel a bit better.
Y/n and Carmen filled up cups with very cold water just to make it hurt even more. Carmen started to put ice in the water and when y/n saw what he was doing she threw her head back to laugh. The laugh made his heart flutter but the feeling of her hand grasping him to ground herself sent a shiver down his back and it wasn't because both their hands were ice cold now.
The room was so loud that they needed to come close to the other’s ear just to hear each other.
“You gotta put a bit more ice in this one, Carmen ”
“Who’s getting this special order?” Carmen smirked, he was having fun.
“The groom of course. Why are you asking a stranger you meet once to slap you across the face when you have a fiancée at home? Also, what kind of sick fuck gets drunk, high, and a hand job from a stripper the week before his wedding? That level of dickbaggary deserves a face full of welts.” Carmen covers his mouth to hide his smirk.
“It's so tacky and…and…yuck. Hard pass.”
Carmen took that information and stored it in his vault; no drinking, drugs, or girls of any kind during his future bachelor party. He wasn’t going to do the last two anyways, but he never wanted y/n to feel “yuck” about him so he would sacrifice the alcohol for his own bachelor party.
“Have you seen the women here? Very pretty.” Y/n teased.
Y/n didn’t really know why she even brought it up, She spent the entire night facing the crowd and got an eye full of many tits and she knows Carmen’s witnessing the same scene. Being surrounded by a sea of stunning and jaw dropping women had triggered a sense of insecurity within her. Yet, she reminded herself that those women were there to captivate with their beauty, while her role was to serve food and drinks. And to be fair, some of her customers have dropped their jaws after eating her food, balancing the scales of admiration. As such, any lingering immaturity or jealousy dissipated into the air.
The source of unease wasn't the presence of other women, but rather Carmen himself. Y/n had previously worked at a strip club and hadn't experienced this level of jealousy before. But now, with Carmen by her side, she found herself questioning whether he was comparing her to the other women at the party. Did she even register on his radar amidst the crowd? While their relationship remained strictly that of coworkers and friends, she appreciated that Carmen hadn't abandoned her. However, she couldn't help but feel conflicted about his presence, as she didn't want him to witness the spectacle of beautiful women giving drunk idiots lap dances.
Carmen looked up at her while his head was still bent down filling cups with ice, “Uhh, I haven’t really taken a look.”
Y/n doubted that but she didn’t want to protest, so she hid her insecurity behind jokes.
“You should, Mrs. Berzatto could be in this crowd.”
“I can guarantee you that they are not.” Carmen pushed. Y/n chuckled and Carmen could swear he saw her eyes glow.
“Hey, today has probably been really stressful. You can let go for a bit. You know, blow off some steam. There are plenty of women who would love to give you a lap dance. You know that pretty blond has been eyeing you since she came in.” Y/n pointed in some general direction with a straw but Carmen didn’t even look up from the water cups.
Carmen looked into y/n’s eyes and was trying to decipher this puzzle she had put in front of him. She was telling him to go and talk to other women and even though her tone, face, and behavior was exactly the same as before, he couldn't shake off a faint undercurrent of tension emanating from her
“I like it here.”
“So you like to watch.” Y/n smirked while turning around to fill a styrofoam cup with sprite from the soda dispenser to cool herself. She was trying to be cool but it was coming off as vaguely threatening, she needed to get her shit together.
Carmen turned around so he was facing her direction then placed his elbows on the counter and looked up at her with those killer eyes, “Yeah I do.”
“Mr. Berzatto, have you been drinking you’ve gotten, dare I say, bold?”
Carmen raised his eyebrows in a joking manner and y/n could swear that she saw stars glisten in his irises. God, was he handsome or what?
“I think it's time to get this show on the road.” Y/n turned around to walk around the counter so she could hop on top, she couldn't do it from behind the counter because it was filled with liquor and cups and she would knock everything over. Just as y/n was going to walk out the counter, a muscular arm blocked her from leaving. She furrowed her eyebrows, and looked up at his eyes.
“You promised, you wouldn’t.”
“I can't get to the counter from here…why don’t you walk me over there, so that no one bothers me. Earn your keep bodyguard” Y/n softened her eyes to convince Carmen, and to her surprise he let out a sigh before removing his arm and leading her to the other side of the counter glaring at anyone who even thought about looking at y/n. Y/n’s dress was so tight and short that she couldn’t really get up without flashing everyone. She looked up at Carmen and told him about the situation she was in and how she needed a chair or something.
Carmen brought his face close to y/n so she could clearly hear, “Can I touch you?”
Holy…mother…of…fuck. Y/n’s brain flat lines and she stumbles out a quick and breathy “yes”.
Carmen put his hands on her waist and y/n linked her hands behind his neck and just as y/n was about to close the gap, she let out a yelp as she was hoisted onto the counter. She is starstruck, her heart is beating fast and she is resisting the urge to kiss him from up here. She had to remind herself that he was just being helpful.
"Tattoo?"
Y/n was a mess and she needed a few seconds to understand what he was saying, "It's fake, so that if anyone takes any pictures I can pretend it's not me." It took all of y/n's will power to connect these words together. It was getting hard to think.
Carmen took one more look at y/n stradling the counter before reaching over the counter to grab the same straw y/n used to point at some other women, and lighty dragged it across her knee.
“Your past the counter, chef”
Y/n was in a daze, her knee felt like it was on fire and that was just from a straw. She wordlessly got up on her knees and kneeled on the counter.
Carmen walked right back to behind the counter and passed her a heavy cup.
“For our guest of honor.” Carmen grinned. He was making her lose her breath, y/n was going to pass out and fall off this counter.
Y/n took the cup of water and a shot of tequila from Carmen. Their pinkies brushed each other and sent an electric shock up her arm.
“Make it hurt.”
Y/n gleamed. She turned towards the crowd and shouted out a short introduction before calling over the groom. She passed him the shot which he downed in record time, y/n shot a quick glance at Carmen, before splashing the water right on his face and just and he slightly relaxed his face from the original impact of the icy water, y/n gave him a loud and painful slap. The sound echoed through the restaurant, and it became silent for a brief second before cheers erupted from the crowd. The noise makes Richie peek his head inside to see what the commotion was about. The groom's face was already bright red from the alcohol and the ice and somehow the right side of his cheek looks like someone painted it scarlet, y/n gave a thumbs up to Carmen, who to her surprise returned one back. A line began to form and while y/n was making everyone pay for being annoying dicks, Carmen called over Richie.
“Its fucking boiling in here” Carmen commented, “Can you go into my office and turn the thermostat down to like 60-65 and grab my jacket.” Richie looked like he wanted to make some smart comment but the sound of another slap echoing derailed his train of thought. Richie took one look at y/n, and Carmen wanted to curse him out and punch him across the face, but he refrained. “Richie, the fucking thermostat.”
Richie complained but Carmen wasn’t paying attention and so he left and turned the thermostat down and threw the jacket over the counter.
“When is this shit show supposed to end?” Richie asked while judging the guests in the most unsubtle way possible.
“Two more hours.” Carmen said while looking at y/n. Richie rolled his eyes and left and Carmen was starting to feel the cold air coming from the air vent on top of them. Y/n was starting to feel chilly too and looked over at Carmen who was already handing her a nice wool jacket, his wool jacket. She slipped it on and Carmen felt like he could finally breathe. He was beating himself for not coming up with something like this sooner. The stupid shots were finished and y/n was ready to come down from the counter.
“My ass and thighs are numb.” Y/n said while rubbing them. Just as she looked up towards the crowd she saw that Carmen was right next to her ready to help her come down. Y/n was feeling bold, almost invincible from spending the last 30 minutes slapping men.
“Would you like a shot?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve seen a million guys take it, aren’t you curious?”
Carmen was struggling to come up with something to say, he didn’t even know how to react. “I have to drive you home.” His stare was making y/n feel like she was burning from the inside.
“A shot of water?” y/n offered.
Carmen thought to himself, what would he regret more? Taking the shot or not taking it?
He extended his hand towards the water pitcher behind the counter to pour himself a shot of water. Y/n grabbed one of the ice cups and scooped the ice with her left hand and dumped half of the remaining water on the already flooded floor. She wanted to avoid making this as painful as possible. Y/n took off the jacket and set it down on the counter next to her. She tucked her right hand in between her thighs to keep them warm so it would sting a lot less. Carmen took one long look at where her right hand was settled and then locked onto her eyes,
“Hit me with your best shot, chef.”
Carmen downed the shot before locking eyes with y/n. Y/n splashed the water on his face and gave him a solid slap. Not as hard as the others were getting but not so soft that she would be accused of chickening out. Carmen’s face whipped to the left before coming back to his previous position.
“How was that, chef?”
It must have been the lights or the fatigue but y/n could have sworn that he glanced at her lips. Carmen’s hands circle around y/n waist to bring her down. He carried her a few feet away from where they previously were so that y/n wouldn’t step on the puddle, set her down and walked her back behind the counter.
“I can understand the appeal.” Carmen murmured. Y/n looked at him incredulously before laughing in shock.
Y/n was about to tease him a bit before she heard shouting from the crowd. “Do you want to step out? I think I need a break”
Carmen welcomed a break. He handed y/n his jacket and ushered her outside where Richie was smoking. They had forgotten he was still there.
“It's nauseating in there.” Y/n exhaled.
Carmen pulled out a cigarette in an effort to calm down. They were no longer in a party where they could pretend they had no outside obligations. He had pushed the bounds of their relationship and he wondered if the lights, music, alcohol, and seclusion together was only affecting him. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Y/n crouched down because her feet were killing her. She could feel the blisters forming but she was going to be a trooper. All she wanted to do was lay down. Carmen crouched down to match her height and raised his eyebrows to ask what was wrong.
“I need to go to bed.”
“20 minutes left. You can wait in the car and get some rest. I can cover for you.”
“I need to see this place after it’s cleared out. I think I forgot what it looked like before we had it packed with drunk chodes.” That earned her a snicker from both Carmen and Richie.
A sense of tranquil silence enveloped them, providing y/n with a much-needed opportunity to gather her thoughts. She realized that she had to prevent herself from getting lost in the overwhelming depth of Carmen's presence. It was becoming clear that she had two choices: either distance herself from him entirely or bridge the gap between them, instead of remaining in their current state of avoidance, where everything seemed to be ignored.
Just as she was about to turn over to Carmen to ask him if he was free tomorrow night, a loud thump was heard inside the restaurant followed by a crash. Next came the screaming. Y/n and Carmen stood up and looked inside the window to see what got Richie to rush inside.
“Shit” Carmen exclaimed before running inside to stop the groomsmen from fighting. A wave of women ran out. Y/n didn’t go inside till the noise died down, she knew she would just get in the way. She pushed the door open and saw some guy laying on the ground with a bloody head. She scrambled to find a towel from the counter and then applied pressure on his head. Carmen had already called 911 and Richie was just staring with his eyes wide and hand on his head.
The next few hours were a blur. The ambulance picked up the guy that was knocked out. The police came and took Richie, and everyone else was either taken by police for questioning or they left for the cops to get there.
Y/n and Carmen were the only ones left standing on the pavement with little to no energy left. It felt like their bones were the only things holding them upright. Y/n didn’t have the energy to fill the empty space. So the trick to shutting her mouth was being tired, she could save herself from a lifetime of embarrassment by working herself to the bone so she wouldn’t have the energy to make a fool of herself.
She started snickering which slowly devolved to full laughter, she held on to Carmen’s arm to steady herself. Y/n from 5 hours ago would never have touched Carmen under any circumstances unless he initiated it first but she was losing it. She was starting to feel light, like this wasn’t real. Like she didn’t see Richie bash some fucker’s skull in. Or that she spent the last few hours flirting with her boss just for nothing to come from it. Carmen could only just watch.
“Let's get you home.” Carmen slowly ushered her towards his car.
Y/n laughter died down. “I can’t go home, not with Richie in jail.”
“You need some sleep”
“And you don’t? Where are you going after this? Visiting Richie?” Carmen didn’t reply or look up at her.
Y/n went back inside, grabbed her black jacket and ran as fast as her shitty heels and blisters would let her.
"I'm ready," y/n exclaimed with determination, taking confident strides towards Carmen's car. Carmen watched, momentarily transfixed and still processing the whirlwind of the past few hours. Y/n had laughed heartily as a coping mechanism, but inside, Carmen felt a deep sense of anguish, fearing the possibility of losing yet another loved one. He yearned to join in the laughter, knowing he couldn't do it without y/n by his side. Shaking off his thoughts, he quickly jogged over to where y/n stood, matching her pace as they proceeded towards the car together.
The car ride was silent, as both of them were fighting the urge to sleep. They got to the police station and y/n was so out of it she barely understood what groomsman status was and what would happen to Richie when the police officer explained it to her and Carmen. They were led to a seating area where they had to wait. Carmen threw his body on the bench and y/n followed suit. It was chilly and Carmen was wearing a shirt, so she slowly slipped off the jacket to hand it over. She felt firm pressure on her shoulders preventing her from bringing the jacket down.
“Keep it on, it's cold here” Carmen muttered.
“I have a jacket”
“It's too light.” Carmen’s eyes were drooping. Y/n sat back on the bench and tried to sleep sitting down but it wasn’t working. Carmen’s eyes were already closed so she shifted on the bench and laid her head on his lap.
Once Carmen had confirmed she was fully asleep, he draped her thin black jacket over her legs and floated into unconsciousness.
Carmen was shaken awake and woke up in a jolt. He eye’s meet Richie’s and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
“Aggravated Assault.”
Carmen let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Carmen wanted to get up but he saw that y/n was laying on his lap. He gently slipped out from under her and carried her on his back to his car. He did his very best to ignore everytime that she dug her face deeper into his neck but he was still beet red when he gently placed her in the backseat and put her seatbelt on.
Richie watched but didn’t have any motivation to say anything but a simple, “You got yourself a girlfriend, Carmy?”
“We’ll see when she wakes up.”
--
Part 2
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy x reader#carmy x you#carmy#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x you#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#the bear#the bear fic#carmen berzatto x y/n#carmen carmy berzatto#the bear x reader#the bear hulu#the bear imagine#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto x you#carmy berzatto imagine#jeremy allen white#jeremy allen white imagine
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If you’ve stuck around dc x dp content for longer than three seconds, you’ve probably also seen the concept that Lazarus Pits are pits of contaminated ectoplasm.
The main explanation I’ve seen for this is that the Lazarus Pits were cut off from the ghost zone and it stagnates without a link to fresh ectoplasm.
But consider, ectoplasm is an inherently perfect sterile environment. There are no germs or bacteria as it’s an naturally dead substance.
The issue comes in when living beings absolutely covered in germs, sweat, and blood keep jumping in. In a lab setting if you want to not mess up samples that are highly sensitive to contamination, you can’t even move your bare arm over an open sample once or the few dead skin cells that fell off your arm in that instant will contaminate the whole thing and you have to restart.
Well, for the Lazarus Pits, it’s being actively further contaminated every time someone even leans over the Pits! It’s been septic ever since Ra’s al Ghul took his first bath and with each use it gets more and more contaminated to the point where it’s actively a septic environment.
No shit it makes people go mad when they take a dip, the ectoplasm is actively trying to fight back and decontaminate itself from living material but there’s too many living cells in the way to do so so they get fucked over in the process. Might be a fun explanation for ecto-acne! The ectoplasm is violently trying to expel itself from the cells by forcing it towards the surface of the skin!
The Lazarus Pits are the ecto-equivalent of a septic tank. An inherently sterile substance constantly having to come into contact with living cells. No shit the results of being dunked into it doesn’t go well for living beings. And the best part, every the Lazarus Pits gets used, the contamination gets worse.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#jason todd#writing concept#writing prompt#bones speaks#it’s a literal ghost inside trying to get out#no shit it’s angry#it’s randomly in this meat sack and wants to FUCKING LEAVE#bones writes
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I could live very happily in this funky little ancient fairy tale artist's stone cottage in Juignac , Charente , Poitou Charentes, France. It has 2bds, 1ba €88,000 / $94,000. (It will need a new roof soon and a new septic tank, though.) Only 10 minutes from Montmoreau, which has everything you need including, schools, a train station, doctors, and vet.
Aubeterre 15 minutes, Bordeaux 1h15.
Look at the entrance. They don't date it, but you tell it's ancient.
That's like an entrance hall, before you go down some stairs to the main living area. The current owner is using it as an art/living space.
At only 500 sq. ft., it's a tiny house, but the high ceilings make it appear larger. Do you love this stone fireplace, and look at the built-in shelf.
Check out bedroom #1, which is in a loft. Is this a storybook cottage or what?
The opening in the floor allows you to look down into the kitchen and see what's cookin.'
This is a den or family room and above is a loft with the 2nd bedroom. The bathroom is not shown in the listing photos.
How adorable is this whimsical little kitchen?
Double doors in the kitchen open to a lane that leads to a barn and a meadow with fruit trees.
And, in this photo you can see the tree covered lane.
#historic stone artist studio france#french cottage#stone cottage france#houses#old house dreams#house tours#home tour
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so! a family friend has offered to let me have his tiny house he used to live in. this is very exciting because i will be able to still live on my parents’ property since i need to be near them due to my disability but i will have my own living space which is pivotal for my mental health! but this also means there will be lots of expenses to cover (plumbing, a septic tank, electricity bills, the fee to move the building onto our property, etc). i have been trying to file for disability but haven’t been qualified yet. i also haven’t been able to attend work as of late due to heat intolerance which means i have had no income for the past 2 months. so if anyone would like to help with the costs we are facing, i am going to link options below!
c*$happ
v*nmo
p*yp*l
anything helps!!!!! thank y’all sm ❤️
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mystik spiral rate youre music page
Icebox Woman
by Mystik Spiral
released 1998
recorded 1992 - 1997
2.33 / 5.0 from 70 ratings
Alternative Rock, Garage Rock, Post-Grunge
Grunge, Noise Rock, Power Pop, Indie Rock, Neo-Psychedelia
lo-fi, raw, angry, noisy, lethargic, introspective, dissonant, psychedelic, melancholic, energetic, depressive, self-hatred, nihilistic, existential, occult, rebellious, spiritual, pessimistic, male vocalist, LGBT, atonal
4 Reviews
cumguzzlinggutterslut
★★★✩✩
i liked the part where those 2 guys howled like wolves that part was funny
30000monkies
★★★★✩
takes me back…i used to play at the zon in the 90s & actually met the guitarist after a gig when i went to use the bathroom. nice guy. i think his name was jerry? he gave me a blowie in one of the stalls & sold me the CD for $20. great stuff! would recommend!
dreamtheaterfan8000
★✩✩✩✩
Pure drivel. I cannot recall a single moment during my first (and only) listen of this garbage where I wasn't appalled. HOW DID THIS TAKE 5 YEARS TO RECORD????? Let us delve into the musical septic tank...
Mystik Spiral is yet another perfectly mediocre post-grunge band that has decided to unleash onto the unwitting public the suburban angst they've carried with them and kept latent since middle school. My first question: What the fuck is a Mystic Spiral? Is it supposed to be a metaphor for their career? It sounds like the name of a Doors cover band. Initially I assumed the misspelling of the word "mystic" to be intentional, but after finishing the album I am fully convinced the members are all semi-literate. Take these lyrics:
"The universe is a cold, cold place, black and Bleak like outer space, the wind chill drops below sub-zero, it's not no time to be a hero."
Woooooow. Didn't know the temperature could drop "below sub-zero," or that poetry you wrote for your Language Arts class when you were twelve constitutes as genuine lyricism. And who still rhymes "zero" with "hero?"
Fortunately, Mystik Spiral is allergic to songs over two minutes in length, making this a much less tedious listen than expected. This compliment is backhanded, as the "songs" are excretions of verse-chorus crap that barely hit the one minute mark.*Yawn.* There is nothing in this album that resembles originality. Why bother writing memorable riffs when you don't even know how to fix that buzz in your amp? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.
The playing, if you can call it that, sucks. In spite of their apparent obliviousness to the concept of tuning, or practicing, so-called "guitarists" Trent Lane and Jesse Moreno have discovered an ingenious way to hide their sloppy guitar work: drown everything in as much feedback as possible. I cannot stress enough the fact that Mystik Spiral's sound is that of two college students arguing on top of TV static while someone living in their basement plays the drums. Props to the drummer, by the way, for managing to keep a simple 4/4 beat to this tuneless nonsense. I don't know why Mystik Spiral has a bassist, though. I could not hear him, except some songs where he starts playing too early & they decided not to do another take. It's like they're so ashamed to have him in the band they buried him in the mix until he was completely inaudible. Then I read that Mystik Spiral didn't even have a bassist until 1996, four years into the recording sessions...Who cares, man? It's called artistic liberty. Such is fate for so-called "alternative rock...." It should be illegal for bands to keep trying to emulate Nirvana and the Screaming Trees. Also, was it really necessary to include a 30-minute audio recording of a woman giving birth as a hidden track?
EDIT: After posting this review that took me a week to write I got a lot of messages insisting there was no childbirth recording & that I'm crazy. I swear to God it was there. It took up over half the album's runtime. How on earth is no one else hearing it?????
JesusSaves1968
★★★★★
This album gave me the first erection I've had in 30 years
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Romanoff's Delight
_Chapter 1_ Natasha Romanoff x f!reader
Warning: Mentions and descriptions of abuse, and eating disorder. I think that's it. If there are any more, I should add that's also a trigger warning, lmk. I do not control what you consume online. You have been warned!
A/n: If any of the content is triggering for you, do not read or skip the y/n pov part since that is the only part of this fic that I put a warning for. If you chose to read this fic and have been triggered, please seek help and do not send any hate to me or any other amazing mutual writers out there just b/c you chose to ignore warnings! I will come after you if any of you do! You have been warned!
A/sn: age gap relationship. Nat is 33 and r is 20. Sry if i failed to put this up earlier 😅
A/sn 2: This fic was heavily inspired by Bazzi's new album Infinite dream. If y'all are interested plz go listen to it on Spotify or apple music or anywhere it's available. Also, I found it interesting that there is a dessert out there called Strawberry Romanoff and its origin is really interesting. so I was inspired to name it after our fav Tasha Bear.
<! --- --- > - means the start and end of anyone's pov
Word count: 3,906 🤷♀️ If any of that matters. Also sry if it's very long for a first chapter 😅
________________
"Does it hurt?" Asked the rabbit. "Sometimes," said the skin horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real, you don't mind being hurt." - Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit
_Earth 616 Norway_ 2016_
As Natasha arrived back at her safehouse from the store, she finished the rest of her coffee and briefly prepared herself before leaving the car for anything that could be secretly waiting for her inside. With a careful step, she entered her trailer house as quietly as possible while holding her gun in front as a safe way to take point of the area if it ever was unsafe. When Natasha had come across her bedroom, she had let her guard down when she had heard her friend snoring away on her bed. Just then, as she kept her movements as quiet as possible, a look of mischief bore her face as she got closer to see if her friend, Mason, was still asleep before lightly kicking him awake, causing him to gasp in surprise.
"You're in my bed."
"I'm.. I'm not under the covers," he says to justify his reason for sleeping on her bed, even if he wasn't under the covers. Yet, that didn't mean she wasn't unhappy about it.
"Got everything on my list?"
"Got passports, entry visas, a couple of local driver's licenses. Mix and match; you should be able to stretch it to 20 or so identities."
"Fanny Longbottom?"
"What?"
"What, are you 12?"
"That's a legitimate name," he says, chuckling.
"We got a generator outside. It's petrol-powered, and septic tank will flush in a couple of weeks. But you know, I have a guy coming for that. You have to haul your rubbish into town. It's just a 20-minute drive. And I've got your basic hardware kit stashed under the stairs."
"Nice," she says as gratefully as she can without giving away how distraught she is at how easy it was for the Avengers to break apart and take sides over a political deal multiple countries had signed. However, that quickly fails as Mason immediately senses that not everything is ok. Or so he thinks, as Natasha had only ever called him when she needed something, nothing more. Though she longed for a family she's never had, the Avengers she strove so hard to keep together make it as though it wasn't as it seemed or something she hoped it would be.
As Natasha deflected Mason's attempts to get her to open up a little about how she felt about the situation, Mason soon realised that maybe he should stop trying as she's only kept him at arm's length—making him walk away disapprovingly. That night as she's settled in, she cracks a beer and heats a can of soup. At the same time, she watches one of her favourite James Bond movies on her laptop to comfort her as her concerns about her life begin to come to the forefront of her mind in the hopes of straying off any nightmares she might have tonight. With the stress of her situation and the mail brought from the Budapest safe house, the last thing she needs is a nightmare to deal with when she's spent the past few days staying out of Secretary Ross's radar.
_Earth 01 New York_2016_
<!--- Y/n's pov
When I returned to the house from school and settled in, my mind began drifting over to the many binders that contained photographs of our so-called family since I had lost all interest in finishing any of my homework. As I picked one off my bookshelf in my bedroom, I began to look through all the pictures of my very early years from the day they took me in. When I reached the end of my early years, especially my first picture in the whole album, I always found it strange that there was nothing written or even an image of how I was found or why I was left at their doorstep, leaving me to die potentially. However, as tempting as it is to think about all possible scenarios of why they chose not to tell me or leave anything regarding my origins, my feelings about my longing for a home, better life and relationships with other people that I could never have become increasingly evident. Let alone accept that I would never be accepted because I wasn't normal like everyone else. Especially the fact that I have eyes that are two completely different colours already says a lot. My right eye is green, while my left eye is brown. Heterochromia is what they call it. However, mine was complete rather than the normal variation of partial or split, leaving me to wonder which eye colour I was supposed to be born with since my body clearly couldn't choose one.
That night as I lay restless, I pulled out a picture of my beloved grandfather from underneath my pillow, savouring all the stories I'd heard about how close I was with him. And not to get too philosophically profound, but from observing families afar from my times outside, I'd like to think that from the time we were born, the world would feel it was in our hands. Something we can grasp within our hands, new, exciting, and worth exploring. Something I think we once had, our first experiences of the world take the form of love, some of its joy, and may even warmth. Others' first experiences, however, are of the less fortunate. They may not even know that feeling of love, joy or warmth until they become adults. However, at only five years old, nobody once told me to savour that sliver of a taste of love and happiness while it lasted.
Because once it's gone, you can never get it back. Since the day of my grandfather's funeral, I realised my childhood had ended, and so did a piece of my heart. From that day on, my family was never the same. Or should I say my "foster parents?" Ever since they had mysteriously taken me in, I've never really known what to call them since they've never felt like family to me, let alone be anything but parental figures in my life. I've known them to constantly fight while going on a spree of breaking anything they can get their hands on and treating me like I wasn't their own. That didn't mean I wasn't at least grateful for giving me some of my basic needs, no matter how much of that was out of pity. Since the funeral, they began to fight more often, my father's family started getting into each other's throats, and lastly, his family began targeting my mother again as if she were the cause of my loving grandfather's passing. And soon enough, I was also thrown into the deep end.
Little did I know, that would also mean that I would lose every piece of who I was or what it felt like was happening. Though that would be the first of many funerals, what struck me at the time was how I could never wrap my mind around others' perspectives of how or why people love to say and believe that children do not understand and have the concept of death. Still, to this day, I can't understand those others' perspectives of how children understand death. I've always seen it as a naive frame of thinking of how children see and understand the world. And quite frankly, I find that to be insulting. However, I am not a child anymore, and I find the feeling to be mutual regarding children. Nevertheless, that doesn't excuse them for condescending behaviour to outright call a child stupid for a concept they may or may not have. Yet, I may be biased to my own experience at that age, whereas I think children at five years old can somewhat grasp the concept of death just as much as they can understand love and joy.
In the year or two that followed, I began to have unhealthy feelings of self-consciousness, frequent thoughts of suicide and contemplated self-harm in many ways. At the time, I could not define the meaning of these feelings that were happening simultaneously. That is until I vocalised the word depressed to myself by asking myself if I was depressed. Yet, I was still in the process of understanding all those feelings and why I was always in a distressed state that caused me to cry myself to sleep, no matter how terrified I was to sleep alone at night. I even began weighing myself every week to see if I had met my mother's expected weight she wanted me to be causing my relationship with food to be compromised. Gradually, I started reducing the amount I ate every day. That's until I only ate half of what my small plate could contain, just like what my mother hoped I would. Yet the more guilty I felt about it as I craved more and ate more in secret.
As I grew older, those feelings of depression and its friend anxiety grew more unbearable, causing me not ever to eat whenever those feelings started to spiral inside my head and eventually led me to skip school altogether. I would also have days where I only ate two meals a day or did not even have a proper meal. I would even go on for days on meals consisting of peanut butter sandwiches or sandwiches containing only butter and sugar, only to briefly switch to appropriate meals as I was told by my mother to avoid any added blame or abuse.
To add to the pain I got through daily, my mother would even say the most demeaning things about me since the funeral, leaving me to feel like they were true even after all those years. And when I started to believe those lies, I began looking at myself in the mirror and seeing myself as the monster she saw in me. When I turned twelve, that's when I started to realise how twisted my mother's ways were. Then before I fully understood what was happening to me, I was found in an expected predicament of being forced to psychologically convince myself that I was romantically and sexually attracted to boys, not girls, when I was seen blushing one day at school over some boy I never even liked. In reality, I've always been romantically and sexually attracted to girls long before I was even aware that homosexuality was highly frowned upon. I even once cursed whoever had given me powers when they occasionally flared up. I never knew where they came from, much less who my birth parents were. Even at that moment, I questioned what it meant to be home or even to be a family. As the reality of the moment crashed down on me, that's when I knew the answer I'd been looking for lay within my heart. This torn-apart family, this house, and this life are none of those things I was made to believe. Hell, even this reality I was living in didn't feel real. Not when I spent most of my life without knowing what it's like to have feelings and be separated from the outside world.
Meanwhile, my older brother had it easy—way too easy for my taste, at least for me. I know it's shocking to me, too, to see that I'm not the only child. In fact, my brother, Dominic, is their only biological child. He's everything every parent wants in a child, even more so for a boy. Although I'd like to disagree, I'd admit I love him as much as they do. Both of us had our fair share of sibling rivalry and heartfelt moments. However, I can never agree on or bear at any given moment how easy it is for all of our family and extended family to argue and defend him as if he were their lord and saviour for the family's good reputation. Yet, I somehow put a bad name simply by breathing. That isn't to say that I despise him for being the golden child. It wasn't because of this toxic concept of family that made me love him, but what he did for me, or at least tried for my sake, as he was the only one in my dysfunctional family that saw me as his family whom he loved.
Since then, my days have felt like nothing but a constant mind-numbing nightmare. Though, the universe occasionally likes to sprinkle in bittersweet moments to mess with my mind to make it seem like I'm invertedly going insane. But if I were, I wouldn't be surprised if it was caused by the kind of life I have. Although lately, these days have felt a lot more gruelling than usual. You frustratedly sighed as you put your grandfather's photo underneath your pillow and got out of bed, knowing you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon and that it's been hours since being woken up by your parents fighting again. As you rummaged around your room to find something to distract you, there was only so much you could do to make your life a little better.
Sure, listening to music does help cope with the noise, but not enough to make it better by any means truly. For drawing, it's nice but not enough to give you some substance to occupy your time and mind before wondering when it's safe to go back to sleep. Then there's writing. Many of us use a powerful tool that some take for granted. At the same time, writing can give us pleasure. Yet, people don't know that writers such as myself write and create these imaginary worlds because we crave to be able to not only have a better life but also to wish to live in a different world without any setbacks. However, this hour wouldn't be great to do as well since, you know, it requires peace and being able to hear yourself think. As your parents' fights got a bit louder as the night dragged on, you resorted to listening to music, daydreaming of what it would be like to live in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with a few changes, and absentmindedly making paper stars.
Little did you know that your and Natasha's life would change that night as you added more green stars into your jar while she wrote in her journal. --- >
After Natasha had written in her journal for the night after watching two James bond movies, the power in her trailer home faded out just as she was about to start another film.
"oh great.." she grumbles while her cat, Liho, briefly looks at her as if asking what she's complaining about before going back to sleep on the couch.
She gets up and changes out her pants for cargo joggers, a light jacket, and light-up gloves that wrap around her hands so that she doesn't need to bring anything else before putting on her boots to assess the issue or if she begrudgingly needs to get more gas for the rest of the night. As she stepped out, she was met with a gush of cold wind that immediately made her shiver, and she wished that the power to her safe house didn't go out until morning. Yet, like all adults, she puts up with it and grabs the hardware kit from under the stairs. After assessing the issue, Natasha begrudgingly cursed Mason for getting her a crappy generator that's said to last for 12 hours when it only lasted for five hours when the tank was full. She detached the generator link, put her empty gas container into the passenger seat of her car, and drove into town for more gas.
When Natasha came back, Liho eagerly greeted her once she opened the door, causing Natasha to always pick her up so that she could even step inside the house. And just like always, she fondly smiles at Liho's antics every time she comes and greets her. Even if Natasha wasn't gone that long, she has a small reminder that she has someone always waiting for her at home, furry companion or not; it's one of the small things she cherishes. Once she has gotten herself comfortable on the couch again, this time with Liho in her lap, she unexpectedly let out a yawn before clicking on a popular series on Netflix, Stranger Things, to watch just until she falls asleep.
Meanwhile, y/n finished making another green paper star and dumped it into a jar containing other paper stars she had made. Deciding that it was enough stars for the evening, Y/n securely screwed the lid back on and decided to return to bed. However, after she got up and stretched, she let out a big yawn before taking off her headphones, hoping that her parents had finally gone to their bedrooms for the night. As Y/n ensured they were asleep, she sighed in relief before peeking at the clock to see what time it was.
3:00 A.M.
It read in bold red, making it mock Y/n for even being awake at this hour, just like it did to Spongebob. With that thought, Y/n let out a deep breath as a subtle gesture to remind herself that she'll be ok. Worries and stress still plagued Y/n, even in the back of her mind, so Y/n grabbed Ryan, her stuffed lion, into her arms and finally went back to sleep.
As Natasha decided to opt for her bed instead of the couch that night, she finally lays peacefully asleep with Liho curled up at the foot of her bed. As both women drifted deeper to sleep, Y/n and Natasha found themselves at two different ends of the same ethereal dreamscape.
"Woah… Where am I?" Y/n says, astonished at how ethereal everything looks. As a feather falls near her eye, she looks up and sees flower petals of all different colours and white feathers rain from the sky.
Not too soon after, she's greeted by her stuffed lion that Y/n loves to hug at night, only to take the shape of an actual lion not too soon. Puzzled by what was happening, Y/n got on the lion's back and took her to a waterfall that lay within a bushy groove well beyond the luscious flower field. When she gets off the lion's back, she pets its head before hesitantly walking into the body of water, where the waterfall fills a large pond. Y/n becomes perplexed at seeing her opposite reflection in the water as she stands in front of the waterfall. Her reflection showed the same raven hair she had. Yet, her skin was soft and fair, with greenish blue eyes and freckles littered across her face's sinuses, unlike Y/n's mismatched coloured eyes and smooth olive skin.
Then, as if on cue, the sun shone brighter, revealing a mysterious figure standing in the cave's shadows behind the waterfall. When trying to get a better view of the person, Y/n felt like they were compelling her to get closer. However, as she got closer to the mysterious person, the farther they were, making it seem as though it was impossible to get to them. Almost as if it was the definitive embodiment of chasing a shadow. Finally, as Y/n had stopped putting effort into catching up with the person, she found she had been able to get close enough to reach out to them. As she did, they began to fade away just before she could get a glimpse of them.
However, she felt at a loss before Y/n could process what had happened. At the same time, Y/n found herself at the end of the cave with a door embedded into the wall. She felt a sense of familiarity as she took in the door's regal yet indigenous design. Yet, she couldn't place where she may have seen it before. The door had a wonderfully crafted natural walnut-coloured frame, a gold border that laid flush underneath the natural walnut frame and added to the gold frame was black steel moulded into swirled designs. Next, the doors themselves had a beautiful smooth espresso oak wood finish, and on it was a big heart-swirled design at the top made out of the same black steel on the gold border. Finally, the handles were made out of gold with a curve towards the end. With open-minded curiosity, Y/n approached it and gently opened the door. Behind it was a bright passage that resembled something similar to what Tony Stark would design. Then without hesitation, she walked through the door while her lion walked along with her as moral support.
On the other hand, Natasha was in the middle of a debilitating nightmare. During the point of the agonising part of her nightmare, she was abruptly relieved of her pain and entered an ethereal-like dream. It was so abrupt that it took her a bit more time than usual to adjust to the natural bright light of the sun, only to realise that white feathers and flower petals of every colour fell from the sky. As Natasha takes in the beauty of the luscious flower fields, a marbled-coloured pig with a collar appears to greet Natasha with an eager oink. But then, the pig began rooting at Natasha's calf as if telling her to walk in the direction to her right. At first, her reaction was to shoo away the creature. Doing so only encouraged the pig even more. After much-rooted insistence from the pig, Natasha gave in and followed the pig into a forest just after the field of flowers and into a clearing within the forest's heart.
In the clearing, there were boulders; some covered in moss surrounded the edges of the clearing in a particular order. And on those boulders were engraved symbols, except for the one directly in front of Natasha. On that large boulder were a door that was embedded into it and the only one that was heavily covered in moss and a few mushrooms and cosmo flowers. To her discontent, the door had the same design as the ones from her time in the Red Room, making her quite hesitant to approach it to see what was on the other side.
Similarly, Natasha also felt compelled. Only when she was in front of it did the door open itself. There, as she stood in front of the open door, it showed nothing but a bright passage waiting to see what awaited her. At that moment, she closed her eyes and exhaled deeply before going through the door. Yet, because of the amount of blinding light at the end of the passage, she kept her eyes closed only to realise that the blinding light turned out to be the sunlight coming from her window, that she forgot to draw in the blinds last night. However, as Natasha was about to pull in the blinds to get more sleep, she quickly realised she was not alone. On instinct, she reached for her gun to quietly assess if the girl sleeping next to her was hostile. Still, Natasha doubted that the girl was hostile when she saw her hugging a quirky orange bear in her sleep.
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dm me or drop in an ask if you ever want to be added to this series. Or if y'all just want to talk, my inbox is open. So don't be shy talk to me.
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff mcu#natalia alianovna romanova#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff x female reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x y/n#black widow#black widow x y/n#black widow x reader#black widow x female reader#black widow x you
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cokinstore’s tik tok lives
The tik tok profile cokinstore usually just post random gadgets and stuff like that. but recently they went live and users became worried when a man appeared on screen heavily breathing seemingly distressed covered in what appeared to be mud. Many commenters on the stream were deeply concerned and some tried to ring the fbi and the police.
On reddit people discussed that the person was in a septic tank and that they were in fact covered in faeces rather than mud and that they were being held against their will. Some others on reddit think it could be a forced fetish video, others think they’re just having a mud bath.
Either way, the video is eerie, you can watch it here.
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The Forbidden Room
Leto Atreides x F!Reader
Content : nudity (not sexual), slight pining.
Synopsis : Reader is a soldier coming back from exhausting military drills. Due to renovations in the castle she can't shower in her quarters and has to go to the men sector and meets the Duke there.
Please comment and reblog!
No word could possibly match your anger. Coming to your quarters extremely late due to an intensive military drill you ended up naked in your shower, your palm pressing the button that was supposed to deliver that hot water you have dreamed of all day long.
"Of course they forgot to turn it on." You groan before stepping out.
Leaving your uniform soiled with dirt, blood and sweat, you put some night clothes on - black thick woolen pants and a blue shirt - then tied your hair up hoping the dried mud in it would get away with some water. Once you got your soaps, towels and another pajama you to wear on your way back you prayed not to cross the path of some officer that would have came back at around the same time.
Water may be turned off in your sector due to the renovation work, but the showers reserved for the officers must still be working, at least that was what you could only hope for. The last week had been so animated that you couldn't bother trying to remember the exact dates.
Once the empty corridors left behind you, you sigh in relief as your bare feet start patting on the grey tiles looking similar to marble. Only similar of course, you had no right to appreciate such luxury for such commodity. But as right now you needed to take that shower no matter what you weren't expecting for anything better. Even a lake could have sufficed. The man sign above your head doesn't put you at ease but as the female parts are closed due to the renovations as well you don't have much choice remaining.
"Hello ?" You call out loud as you walk past the doorless cabins. "Is anyone there ?"
The fun part here is the lack of intimacy for male officers. Now that's something you despise but as everything is silent maybe you could go behind this tree growing in the center. Its roots are buried deep down under the Caladan castle, the thick and curvy brownish trunk covered in moss and red ivy. No way to see its majestic branches and leaves from there, the fancy side of its existence stopping at the beautiful vegetal colors in this mineral and modern room. They built around this fully grown oak, preserving its old age from their saws. Wide by around 15 inches, this tree deserved better that being erased in favor or a septic tank.
You found a shelter in one of the open cabins at the back, invisible to any possible eye that could come into your temporary heaven. Not that you got used to this constant paranoia of getting spied on, but did you really had any choice remaining ? Most of your colleagues were certainly eating in their quarters or sleeping after collapsing from fatigue.
Undressed, you face the wall, and closed your eyes as the warm water welcomes you. You don't need much more to sigh happily, tension leaving you completely as you start to apply soap in your hair and all over your body.
"A shame I don't have anything that smells better than that," you mumble as you turned around, "strawberry smell could have been great."
Due to your responsibilities you couldn't take care of yourself as much as you used to. The best you could do was the occasional massages on spa days - around one every five months when you had two days off - or some good food around the same periods where your diet wasn't scrutinized.
Once your skin covered in this uniform blue soap, you let the product act for a few seconds, your arms crossed as you watch the immense and uncanny room. It's too calm and you're too exposed. You don't like it. You cover your breasts and crotch as you shiver, counting the seconds so that any bacteria got eradicated by the product. After ten seconds you turn the water on.
"Fuck fuck fuck no no no !" you thought.
The freezing water condemned your body to get paralyzed under its fall as you kneel down, tempted to shield in a fetal position. You are used to cold showers but why had it to be. At hing tonight ? You only want some rest and warmth, you are tired of dirt, cold nights and promiscuity.
You step out of the shower, your skin besieged by the hundreds of goosebumps as you stare at the wet greyish tiles with pure hatred. At least you are clean now.
"Is everything-"
Your brain needed some seconds to process the voice erupting and the hasty footsteps, too late apparently as the intruder stops dead in his tracks and walks away, behind the tree you thought.
"I'm sorry lieutenant, I thought someone was attacking you."
Suddenly, crying sounded like a seductive option. You only wanted to take a shower in your quarters, not to end up getting caught in the men's showers. They could have prepared something for their female counterparts, at least for safety reasons. Or add curtains or anything. And apparently this man knew you. Well there aren't many women here and they must be used to watch you once your back get turned to them. How distinguished.
You wrapped in a towel in total panic, your breath barely starting to get back to normal now that adrenaline rushed through your body. Turning around slowly, your brain melted into some mercury-like liquid as you recognize the Duke himself.
Fortunately he is dressed, staring at the void away from you with a towel in his hand and maybe some soap in it.
You are in serious trouble.
"My Lord I am sorry for violating the privacy rules," you said in a high-pitched voice, "there was no water in my side of the castle and-"
"It will be alright for this time, I wanted to make sure you weren't getting attacked." He stated before walking away. "I'm going to the other side."
Tension left your body as the Duke disappeared by your right in a corner behind the tree. From where you were he couldn't be seen and same for you, but just in case you check twice in case someone else could have came with him.
After drying yourself at something similar to light speed, you put your other pajama on, took your stuff and kept your eyes focused on the greyish tiles when you walked past the tree as you pass by a path perpendicular to the Duke's cabin, your stuff pressed against your chest.
"I didn't mean to scare you lieutenant." Your ruler says calmly.
You stopped after walking past his cabin. Still out of sight, you could hear the water hitting the ground with some droplets running down to the hallway.
"I wasn't supposed to be there my Lord, there is no excuse needed."
According to the sound he was massaging his scalp through some thick foam. After all he came back in almost the same state as yours.
"Alright. You said there was no water in your quarters?" He asked before blowing through his nose.
"Yes sire. And the female baths are in the same state."
"I see. Thank you for letting me know, I am going to send a warning to the workers." He added before you heard his hands rubbing his face and beard. "It was supposed to be done by this morning right before we came back."
The slight annoyance in his voice made you smile a bit nervously. You hoped it wasn't directed to you.
"I guess you don't have water in your quarters neither ?"
"You guess well." He sighed loudly.
"Thank you for not sanctioning me my Lord. I am going to let you take your shower in peace now."
The workers were definitely in some trouble if they weren't even able to turn the water back on for the Duke himself. Not that Leto Atreides is known for his cruelty, but it was some serious mistake to make.
"Lieutenant, wait a second please." He called you out.
"Yes sire ?"
No matter how many times you saw him bare chest during a medical exam, you looked away immediately. It didn't feel appropriate to let your eyes examine him and the towel wrapped around his waist didn't change anything. Yourself wouldn't dare to violate his intimacy in such a way.
"I wasn't following you and I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He said seriously when you risked a glance at him. "I thought it was one of the male officers that was already there. It's when I heard your voice that I thought you could be in danger."
"I trust you my Lord." You mumbled as you pressed your towels against your chest.
"Good."
In any normal circumstances you would have appreciated the beauty of his features as it would happen regularly and anonymously. But seeing him with his hair soaked and dripping without being bothered by it disturbed you. You shouldn't be there. You were no maid, no wife, no mistress.
Shyly, you turned around and walked towards the door. At least the Duke didn't sound like one of those perverts you could have encountered tonight. He might have seen a glimpse of your body at some point but this thought didn't make you half as uncomfortable as you felt after arriving in this room. After seeing him so professional on the battlefield you couldn't set your mind on a defensive mode despite how guarded you should remain anytime. Honestly it was tiring to never be able to trust the people around you.
- - - -
Thank you for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! 😊
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UHM SO I've been thinking about Seiji a lot.... (even if he has no man boobs, he still... Too hot...) and I was wondering.... Is he into public s*x? 😳 If he is, what kind of stuff would he do and most importantly would Edo's people be aware of it? 😳😳👉👈
SORRY MY kinky little brain was very happy when you opened requests- feel free to ignore this if it's not ur cup of tea!! 💕
Not just my cup of tea, I could one-shot a whole septic tank of this ish— hold on, we're goin in nasty
Hanaoka Seiji NSFW Headcanons:
Yes. Yep. Yeahhhh.
Public enemy number one is into desecrating the public space— it checks out. All a part of a bigger problem: being places where he's not supposed to be, doing things he's not supposed to be doing (just because he can.)
It's your reactions. The embarrassment. The panic. The humiliation. Especially, how your eyes bulge and your walls dig down harder at any sounds that isn't coming from the wet sucks of long fingers dragging in and out your cunt. How you're caught between running and arching your back against his heavy cock for some fun time. The internal struggle between decorum and taking what feels so good.
Missy, he's taking you on a psychological thriller joyride. But ultimately, is he really making you do anything? Nah— time to face the music with Seiji, he isn't egging on anything you hadn't already had in you in the first place.
Dark, dank alleys facing busy streets, barely-hidden corners, bushes that anyone can walk around. Up against trees that aren't wide enough to conceal your spread legs around his waist. In restaurants, where dumb people like Gintoki have to make educated guesses off of your flushed face and minute twitches about what exactly Seiji is doing to you under the table.
From nowhere: "I wanna see your pussy" while frowning and nodding at said pussy like it owes him it. You're shaking your head no, squawking that you aren't in a private enough place to be showing off anything, anyone could walk in, anyone could see you, but one lemme see you purred against your ear— your obi is sagging and you're clumsily jerking away the layers of your kimono and he's dropping to his heels, peeling down your underwear and tucking it into a hidden pocket for safe-keeping. Knocks your knees apart to have a closer gander at the unbelievably lewd sight of your already-swollen pussy going through it. Oh, what's this? You can hear the smarmy smile in his whistle as he cocks his head like he doesn't have a clue, nuzzling his forehead against your trembling thigh for the show. Inhaling deep, savoring the musk of your irresistible scent. Flicking his finger through your folds and catching your sensitive clit. How cute.
Mister makes you face the street while he plays with your pussy in an alley, tells you to keep a lookout since you're so concerned about it. Why aren't you keeping your eyes open— do you want to get caught? I think you do, ya dirty little pervert. He's not going to gag you. It's your job to keep quiet. Be that you have to cover your shaky moans with your own hand or bury your face into his neck while he buries into you. (fawwwk this dude)
And toys. Who could forget the toys? He plugs a Seiji Original up in you and then sends you on your way like a freed wild animal. A dildo you have to pretend that isn't kissing deep inside you. A ridiculously strong vibrator that attaches to your clit, tiny buzzes that sounds as loud as your heartbeat. Seiji is always close by, out of sight, observing with nothing less than delight whenever you crouch down, hugging your knees as yet another orgasm rips at you— as you try to explain through tears brought on by oversensitivity that you're sick, hoping that no one calls you out on your half-truth.
He likes you sucking him off in public. Have you on your knees and drooling on his pierced head. Give ya some love taps to your cheek with his dick. Swallow his load and have some of it dribbling down your chin. Then, back to false respectability, back to acting like you didn't just take his cock in your hot mouth seconds ago— Seiji loves it.
It would be a miracle if the good people of Edo didn't know about y'all getting your freak on, but alas, Seiji is rather good at sneaking about. And also at knocking people out if they manage to see something he doesn't want them remembering.
#hanaoka seiji#gintama oc#gintama headcanons#hanaoka seiji headcanons#my oc#not sfw#hanaoka seiji x reader#answered ask
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Understanding the Core Services of a Newport Beach Plumbing Company
When people think about Newport Beach, the stunning coastline and surfing spots may immediately come to mind. However, behind those attractions lies an intricate network of water and sewage systems that make everyday life seamless and comfortable. At the heart of ensuring efficiency and functionality of these systems are the professionals from a Newport Beach plumbing company.
The Essential Role of Plumbers
In a region as populous and dynamic as Newport Beach, reliable plumbing services play a critical part in maintaining comfort, hygiene, health, and even safety. Experienced plumbers can address complex concerns related to water heating systems, pipelines, drains, septic tanks and more – tasks that would otherwise be risky or challenging for ordinary people.
Broad Range of Services
A seasoned Newport Beach plumbing company won't just specialize in mending leaking sinks or unclogging toilets. The breadth of their services is usually wide-ranging - from preventative maintenance to extensive repair or large-scale installation projects.
For instance, homeowners who find deleterious substances in their tap water can reach out to these companies for water quality solutions. They assist clients with installing water softeners or filtration systems to ensure safe and clean drinking water.
Similarly, homes experiencing issues with their hot water supply can rely on them for efficient fixes. These experts discern whether your heating system entails repairs or replacements by thoroughly diagnosing it before suggesting required solutions.
They're also well-versed in mitigating concerns directly tied to California's climatic features like installing sewer lines safer against seismic activities.
Emergency Plumbing Solutions
When critical plumbing issues arise at inappropriate times – such as late-night pipe bursts or blocked drains causing flooding – it is crucial to have immediate access to professional help. A responsible Newport Beach plumbing company understands that swift response to emergency situations determines mitigation success. With round-the-clock service availability, they ensure relief from urgent plumbing complications without a stressful wait.
Work Ethic and Business Approach
Experienced Newport Beach plumbers not only offer technical expertise but are committed to delivering quality customer service. Valuing transparency, they provide clients with clear, comprehensible estimates before starting any work to prevent surprise costs at the end of a job. They respect customers’ properties by leaving it clean after service.
Trustworthy plumbers in Newport Beach also prioritize safety by strictly adhering to professional standards and local codes during operations. This adherence ensures the longevity of their work while keeping residents safe – an essential factor to consider when choosing your plumbing partner.
Wrapping Up: The Hampton Bay Plumbing Company Impact
The utility and versatility of services from a reliable Newport Beach plumbing company cannot be over-emphasized. These businesses help preserve the integrity of both residential and commercial buildings in the area, ensuring comfortable and efficient living for inhabitants.
From providing scheduled repairs and maintenance, handling large-scale installations, offering disaster-proof solutions according to local dynamics to being available during emergencies - these professionals make significant contributions in keeping Newport Beach flowing smoothly every day.
All said, when picking a Newport Beach plumbing company, remember that their range of services ought to cover your specific needs alongside servicing with integrity driven by industry standards for more sustainable results.
ePIPE - Pipe Restoration Inc.
Address: 2926 W Pendleton Ave, Santa Ana, California, 92704
Phone: (714) 888-7758
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Galladrabbles!
Thank you to @sweetbee78 for the JEWEL POEM prompt for this week's @galladrabbles. The Bounty Hunter AU continues. Paging my lovelies @energievie and @look-i-love-u. Thank you for all that you do! Read the master post here.
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“Should I check around for first-aid or would you rather go into septic shock?” Ian asks dryly, tipping his head toward the bathroom.
He barely gets the door open when Mickey’s suddenly being accosted from behind.
Without a second thought, Ian lets out a hail of curses before grabbing the toilet’s tank cover and cracking it over the stranger’s skull.
Forcing himself to face the now-motionless body in the room, albeit with a healthy disbelief, Mickey’s stomach churns as reality hits him. “Well…” he breathes, “m’thinkin you may’ve just fucked our chances at scorin’ those fake IDs we discussed earlier.”
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So, for those that don't know. I've had two not insignificant disasters hit at the same time, after months of disaster after disaster. So far since January, I’ve had three major appliances die on me, a basement wall start failing, an electrical panel replacement, a propane leak, and a retaining wall start to fail. As well as a few other issues I can’t remember. In roughly 6 months. And now, this.
My cat, Little Buddy, has to have surgery (this was known and saved for). His surgery is associated with a non-cyst growth on his neck - it has to be removed and biopsied to make sure it’s not cancer. Buddy's surgery is going to run anywhere from 1,100-1,400. Then on Saturday, I discovered that the 4″ diameter waste-water/sewage pipe main going to my septic tank is... no longer a pipe while prepping for that dryer replacement. What should have been an O shape is very much a U shape instead, allowing raw sewage and other waste water to be released into and under my house foundation. Insurance will not cover these repairs, since it's "wear and tear", though it will help with any cleanup associated with the release.
Neither one of these can be pushed back until later for obvious reasons, and they're both expensive. I have no idea how much the sewer line is going to run since it's taken me days to even get someone to call me back. Tomorrow (7/19/2022) I'll finally have someone out to look it over, so I'll have a better idea of what the true cost will be, but I can't imagine it being cheap given what's involved. The funding goal below is very much estimated, obviously.
Anything will be appreciated - thank you those who have already sent something even if it was just a hug. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. For those who are thinking about donating, please only do so if you're able to do so comfortably. Just. Thank you all.
https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8LDf3R8n4b
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