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It would also be a shame if someone with more musical talent than me wrote an anthem type song with the phrases the protesters have been chanting so we can sing that while getting shot at by our own military and protecting ourselves with household items all in the name of radical justice🤷🏻‍♀️

bc I mean, the rest is already happening but music is an overlooked power source👀

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I know, I fucking know, these are the most first world problems. But I’m allowed to have emotions so leave me alone.
These riots + covid 19 have really fucked me up in the dumbest ways possible and i hate it.
Used to love fire. Now, every time I see something on fire, I get anxiety because I think of burning buildings and burning cars.
I already hated crowds, now I see one and start panicking even if I’m not in the damn crowd because I think of the riots.
I’m white [in case you didn’t know] so before, I just didn’t trust cops but now every time I see one or see someone in a lot of gear, I get anxiety because, once again, I think of the riots.
I used to be able to at least somewhat make eye contact or pretend I was making eye contact, now, because I’ve been quarantined for god knows how long, I can’t even pretend to make eye contact and struggle just to look at people’s faces.
I’m hoping that refusing to watch riot videos is going to fix the issues revolving around riots and the issue bc of covid will just naturally fix itself once I get back into the habit of being around strangers but, seriously, what the fuck? Like, I’m so annoyed with myself because I can’t just fucking be.
I can’t just be a normal person, I have to either be always challenging my anxiety or I regress entirely and it’s frustrating and annoying and, right now, nobody irl knows but, what about when all this is over?
What about when life has to go back to normal and I can’t even look my friends in the eyes? When I tense every time I see a cop car? When I’m on edge at Walmart or the mall or the doctor’s office? What then?
They gonna up my meds like they always do? Prescribe me something stronger?
Nobody can promise me a mysterious virus that nobody can control won’t happen again. Nobody can promise me a cop will never decide to target me or a group I’m in. Nobody can promise me a crowd I’m in won’t suddenly start rioting or randomly get tear gassed.
I’m just fucking annoyed with myself because I can’t be normal for one damn second and cope like everyone else is.

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I have a bit of an odd somewhat personal request for my followers (if you have the time of course)

My sister works at a hospital as a respiratory therapist, so during this pandemic she’s been the one intubating patients. Obviously it’s been a really stressful time for her as it has been for so many others. She’s had a couple of other really shitty personal things happen to her during this time as well. I just want to do something nice for her and was hoping I could get some help with this idea I have.

If you’re open to it and wanted to say thanks to a healthcare worker would you mind writing just a small thank you, a letter, a drawing, anything really and send it to me. The plan is to gather as much as I can and then send it to her.

If you wanted to that would be so great, I know there’s a million other things happening in the world right now so if you don’t have the time I totally get it, just thought I’d put it out there.

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I have a cold.

There haven’t been any new confirmed cases here in a month, and the amount of people I’ve had contact with is limited. Plus, my symptoms seem to match a regular cold far better than COVID-19.

However, I’ve been doing my best to follow all of the safety precautions and everything, but I still got a cold, and that kind of worries me. Because theoretically, if I was doing a good job, it should have prevented me from catching a cold in the first place.

But I’ve also been going to work before, and none of my co-workers seems to have caught the cold I have. So I guess that’s a good sign?

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I am SO happy to hear from you. Thanks for the update! 

Though this wasn’t a happy trip, now you know and can seek the treatment you need to stay healthy. Be well and take care <3

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WHERE WERE THE CURFEWS AT THE HEIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC

WHERE WERE THE FUNDS FOR THE HOSPITAL STAFF WORKING THE FRONT LINES

WHERE WERE THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE WHEN WE FIRST REALIZED HOW BIG OF A PROBLEM THE VIRUS WAS GOING TO BE

WHY IS IT THAT NO MATTER WHAT, WE HAVE TO FEND FOR OURSELVES BECAUSE OUR GOVERNMENT IS TOO INCOMPETENT TO DO ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T DIRECTLY BENEFIT THEM AT THE TIME

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